House Votes for KeystoneXL, Teacher Ousted for Ferguson Tweets, All Eyes on Uranus: P.M. Links

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  • Too pooped today to give a shit about clever alt-text.
    NASA

    The House has voted to approve construction of the KeystoneXL pipeline, the ninth time it has done so. Whether it will make it through the Senate, still controlled by Democrats until January, is another question.

  • A Dallas-area school teacher was formally fired by the school board last night for racially charged tweets about the Ferguson shooting, which called her critics "crackers" and suggested they kill themselves.
  • Chicago's first female mayor, Jane Byrne, has died at the age of 80.
  • The American Civil Liberties Union is suing the Army on behalf of a practicing Sikh applicant who is not being permitted to wear a turban or grow his hair out as his religion requires.
  • Sweden reports a foreign submarine trespassed within its waters but couldn't say for certain which country it was from. The country did pick up a radio call in Russian, but the country denies any involvement.
  • The United Kingdom has announced it will be cancelling the passports of citizens who travel abroad to join ISIS.
  • "Uranus might be full of surprises." I guarantee you that headline writer knew exactly what he or she was doing.

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  1. Chicago’s first female mayor, Jane Byrne, has died at the age of 80.

    And not in prison? Good for her.

    1. She will be buried in a snowdrift….again.

      1. Actually she got her job because previous mayor Mike Bilandic royally fucked up snow collection during a record blizzard, she herself didn’t have a snow problem. She was a pretty terrible mayor overall, though, and her incompetence opened the door for the craziness that was Harold Washington.

        1. I’ll always remember going to the Worldcon in Chicago in 1982, and seeing a giant banner strung over the street:

          MAYOR JANE BYRNE WELCOMES
          the World Science Fiction Convention

          The first line was much larger than the second, and of course, she had nothing to do with the event. It was just an excuse for self-promotion.

    2. “Sweden reports a foreign submarine trespassed within its waters but couldn’t say for certain which country it was from.”

      Norwegians.

      /narrows gaze.

      1. My money’s on Denmark. Floki is still out there, and now he’s got an underwater boat.

    3. I felt sorry for her a few months ago when they wheeled her out for a ceremony to name something after her.

      What they named after her, “The Jane Byrne Interchange” is the Interstate clusterfuck where Interstates 90, 94, and 290 meet/split. It’s a friggin’ nightmare that everyone hates. Why would you wheel out an 80-year old dying woman to name something everybody hates after her? The only people who deserve to have that thing named after them are Hitler or bin Laden.

      1. Or anybody surnamed Daley.

      2. Fascist GPS: “Take Stalin Freeway to Pol Pot exit. Now, comrade, make right. I said it makes RIGHT! Now go 300 meters to Hitler Plaza and bear right. RIGHT, comrade. Death Camp is on left.”

  2. So Reason24/7 finally went tits-up, eh?

    1. Farewell to the Barack Obama of news sub-blogs. It won’t be missed.

      1. 24/7? What was that?

        1. About 3.43

    2. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

  3. “Uranus might be full of surprises.”

    Klingons everywhere.

    1. Is that the new term for dingleberries?

      1. Way to shit all over his joke.

        1. Yes, they do involve shit.

        2. It was barely hanging on anyway.

          1. That’s funny

            1. It’s why one waxes.

          2. Also, I know this has been talked about by many others before, bu the Klingon forehead really does look like a vag.

            1. I think you’re confusing the Klingons with the Cardassians. Either that or you’ve only seen some really strange vags….

              1. Yes, I was confusing them. The Cardassian forehead definitely is closer to a normal looking vag, but the Klingon one is more like a beat-up and/or inverse one though. I can still see some resemblance.

      2. Chay’ngil qedpin dabej tich mahvad soh!

  4. Best alt-text EVAH!

  5. Sweden reports a foreign submarine trespassed within its waters but couldn’t say for certain which country it was from.

    Sweden has waters?

    1. It’s vodka.

      1. absolutely

    1. Bizarro Superman.

      That’s where we’re at.

    2. To be fair, they are guarding the Queen.

  6. There’s something about Uranus.

    1. But I can’t put my finger on it.

      1. …or in it.

    2. Is it the gape?

    3. If I told you Uranus was beautiful would you hold it against me?

    4. Strange gas clouds are coming out of Uranus lately.

  7. “Gruber’s Obamacare film fest continues”
    […]
    “Was this written by my adolescent children, by any chance?” Gruber responded, after hearing a list of concerns during a 2011 Vermont House Health Care Committee hearing
    […]
    The concerns about the Vermont program that Gruber was addressing in the lastest video were: “Coercive mandates, ballooning costs, increased taxes, bureaucratic outrages, shabby facilities, disgruntled providers, long waiting times, lower quality care, special interest nest-feathering, and destructive wages and price controls.”
    Read more: http://www.politico.com/story/…..z3J55OyNTw

    The guy’s a laugh a minute, a real card. A real asshole.

    1. I want the Right to posterize this asshole so badly. The Left has done this to people on the right for decades and usually very unfairly. Gruber is a complete asshole who deserves to be a public laughing stock. Make people be embarrassed to be seen in public with this asshole.

      1. So we’re talking about Gruber’s anus then?

      2. He’s a major asshole. But also kind of awesome in his honesty about it all. His tactics are clearly very objectionable, but it’s fun to hear a designer of the law say exactly what we’ve been thinking about Obamacare all along.

        1. Most transparent law designer in history!

        2. His honesty comes from the fact that he lives in a progressive bubble: because he only talks with people who agree with him, he can drop his guard. It didn’t occur to him that there are vast numbers of people who aren’t merely dumb sheep, but actively and articulately disagree with him, and would track down these recordings.

    2. If Jonathan Gruber wasn’t real, we would have to invent him.

      1. It never fails to amaze me how so often Leftists turn out to be utter loathsome people. There never seems to be a decent well meaning person who mistakenly becomes a hard core liberal. They always seem to be nasty hateful bitter people.

        1. Sometimes they aren’t hateful and bitter, but empathic and insecure and feel the need to not just help people, but force other people to help them. This makes them feel less insecure, and is a form of social signaling: “See, I’m a good person! Look who I vote for!”

      2. He really is pretty close to an Ayn Rand villian.

        1. Like a dumb version of Dr Ferris.

    3. David Burge
      @iowahawkblog

      Yo Kim Kardashian, Imma let you finish, but Jon Gruber is the greatest internet-breaking giant exposed ass OF ALL TIME

      1. The more I read of iowahawk, the more I believe in reincarnation and that he is Mencken reborn.

        1. The man is a National Treasure.

      2. I think I’m gonna start sending him money.

  8. University Installs Prescription Drug Vending Machine On Campus

    Customers using the prescription drug dispenser use a voucher which is tied to a code that is transferred over a secure connection from the prescribing doctor to the machine. Students and college employees must pick up their medication within 24 hours.

    School officials didn’t specify exactly what kind of drugs will be available in the machine, but said it would contain 50 medications that are most commonly prescribed to college students. Company representatives said they sell primarily urgent medications such as pain medications and antibiotics.

    “You know, the things that you’d like to have right now to feel better,” said InstyMeds Vice President Bob Bang.

    Who can’t love a guy like Bob Bang?

    1. His name is a microaggression!

    2. aka Big Bang.

      1. No, Big Bang is Bob Bang’s little brother.

      2. +1 Joy Bang

        1. All three of them together have a Gang.

  9. The United Kingdom has announced it will be cancelling the passports of citizens who travel abroad to join ISIS.

    So if you’re keeping score, it’s ISIS fighters and Michael Savage.

  10. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men…..inner.html

    The internet hates men and no one is a winner.

  11. It can be so hard to find a sitter: couple charged for bringing baby on burglaries.

    Authorities say that a Hall County couple brought their 7-month-old child along with them to several burglaries the pair allegedly committed.
    Keith Sylvester Evans, 35, and Johnna Lee Rayman, 26, both of Gainesville, were arrested on charges of burglary and child cruelty. Investigators say the couple could be responsible for at least four burglaries in south Hall County.
    Investigators say they were able to connect Evans to the burglaries after serving a warrant and finding stolen property. After questioning the couple, officials found out that they had brought their baby along with them to commit the crimes.

    1. “The kid made us do it.”

      “We did it for the children.”

      “We’re burgling together for the sake of the children.”

      “Kid set us up!”

      1. “We would of gotten away if not for those meddling kids”

      2. At least they didn’t leave it home by itself.

    2. I’ll be takin’ these Huggies right here…

    3. Just trying to increase the profit margin.

  12. The American Civil Liberties Union is suing the Army on behalf of a practicing Sikh applicant who is not being permitted to wear a turban or grow his hair out as his religion requires.

    Perhaps he shouldn’t have volunteered to jointhe army.

    How is this any different from Sandra Fluke?

    1. He is not. Where the hell did this “right to serve” bullshit come from? You don’t a right to join the army.

      If this guy can sue, why can’t a Quaker sue and force the Army to take him and not expect him to carry a rifle or commit any acts of violence?

      1. I didn’t think it was possible for a volunteer military to be filled with more fuckups and retards than a drafted military but its more proof that government ruins everything without exception.

      2. Yes, he does have a right to join the Army. And get his hair shaved off like everyone else who does.

        1. He doesn’t have a right if he’s too short or weak or stupid, etc.

    2. But I want to serve America! Isn’t service to America in the form of asking permission and obeying orders the highest form of service? But I totally want to do it on my own terms! Military regs are bringing me down and junk.

    3. Whoa, I thought you people were all for the religious freedom?

      1. This isn’t religious freedom. Deciding whether to join the army is.

    4. some asshole should sue for having to show up.

    5. He doesn’t have the ‘right’ to join the army and grow out his hair, but the army should let him anyway. Sikh RCMP look totally badass, they are the best possible fusion of campy Canadianism and foreign Warrior Caste possible.

      1. How does that work exactly, do they put the funny mounty hat on TOP of the turban?

        1. I think they just keep the turban instead of the hat, and it looks totally awesome.

      2. The problem is that he has to be able to put on a gas mask; if his coif and beard interferes with that, they have to go. This is the standard for pretty much all troops.

        1. It also helps keep down lice.

  13. “The American Civil Liberties Union is suing the Army on behalf of a practicing Sikh applicant who is not being permitted to wear a turban or grow his hair out as his religion requires.”

    Yeah, because if you let Sikh soldiers have beards and turbans you impair their military efficiency!

    http://www.unitedsikhs.org/rtt…..eSikhs.php

    1. You can’s spell “my retard” without “Army”

  14. Whether it will make it through the Senate, still controlled by Democrats until January, is another question.

    How badly do they want Landrieu to keep her seat?

    1. She is toast no matter what happens.

  15. http://www.sun-sentinel.com/lo…..story.html

    Best part:

    Commissioner Tim Ryan, expected to be named mayor on Tuesday, asked Barmore point blank: “Are you going to continue to violate the county law and have your drivers operate in Broward County?”

    And the answer from Barmore was similarly blunt: “Until an agreement is made, we will continue.”

    Every time I hear a story about Uber flipping the bird to government I feel a little warmer inside.

    1. Yes. And the proggies hate them some Uber. And the people love them some Uber, which makes the proggies even more angry.

      And I think the people will win on this and that will be the first domino to fall.

      1. This is a huge sea change. The proggies are right to be terrified. This wrecks their power structures and puts them on the wrong side of populism. What if ‘Uber-ism’ spreads? They lose control. It’s all over.

        1. They’ll just change to Progressivism + Uber. You don’t see proggie Uber-hate in SF, for example.

          1. They can’t do that anymore than you can change science to ‘Science + creationism’. The lack of proggie uber hate in SF is simply them missing a spot, perhaps willfully.

            1. I’m pretty sure this isn’t the only contradictory view they hold.

              1. This goes against their very ethos. Their beliefs are secondary to their ethos of ‘men over man’.

                1. What about their ethos of “give me what I want”?

                  1. That’s ancillary to ‘men over man’. They really don’t believe what they believe out of selfishness-except for PSUs and other parasites-many really are total altruists.

            2. AFAIK, many SF progs are concerned about Uber etc. because they don’t have to follow all the regulations about insurance etc. that taxis do.

      2. Well, the proggies who don’t use Uber hate Uber. I can only imagine that a lot of their customer base alligns themselves with progressive politics.

    2. “Are you going to continue to violate the county law and have your drivers operate in Broward County?”

      “Since we are not violating any existing laws we will continue to operate.”

  16. I laughed: the Prostate Exam.

    SFW, BTW.

    1. If you haven’t seen it, check out the reviews for this.

      1. This was in the people also look at this section: Infant Circumcision Trainer.

        I… I guess it’s good for them to practice first…

      2. $925.00???

        1. “Supply and demand” is a bitch.

        2. $925.00???

          You should see how much they charge for the model that makes realistic “Ouch!” sounds.

      3. That’s great.

  17. The country did pick up a radio call in Russian, but the country denies any involvement.

    Feh! Textbook false-flag. If I were the Chinese, of course I’d transmit a tape-recorded Russian radio call.

    Having said that, it probably was the Russkies, given the location.

  18. I was going to link some crap from Jezebel, but it’s 100% Kardashian ass over there.

    1. Did I see what you did there?

    2. So what is the take on Kardashian’s ass over there? Is the Kardashian ass liberation for fat women everywhere or just another example of the patriarchy keeping them down?

      1. Ruminations on ass width and its realtion to racism, feminism, etc…

        About what you would expect.

        1. Endless navel gazing?

          1. That’s not a navel.

    1. In the near future because of global warming we will have to tell our children what snow was like.

      1. John it’s now going to be anthropogenic atmospheric carbon creation. It’s responsible for every extreme weather phenomenon. Now just do what the watermelons have proposed since the ’73 oil embargo. Give up your cars, air conditioning and suburban lifestyle.

    2. That’s just too Duluth to read.

    3. Sorry Gile, Wisconsin, not Duluth. My bad.

  19. Just in case you thought the Democratic base might be reconsidering their worldview.

    Just a reminder of the racism in general and against Obama…

    Before the man said one word as president, before the country had any idea what his policies were other than the generalities of a campaign, NONE of them new, unique or ultra liberal by any means, before he was able to get back to his hotel the night he was elected….

    The Republican party met in secret and decided the entire agenda and platform of the Republican party for the next 4 years would be to destroy the man, his presidency, and if necessary the american economy in the process.

    The tens of millions of rightwing assholes, many of whom are now teapartiers, HATED the MAN before he uttered a word or did anything and it was based SOLELY on skin color and funny sounding name

    AND NOTHING ELSE…NOTHING ELSE

    NOTHING ELSE

    Remember that.

    1. Oh, that is delicious, especially the secret meetings part.

      1. The comments are pure gold.

        As a good Black friend tells my learning white butt, white folk are mostly afraid to have to

        actually start to compete on an even playground for once

        this is what scares them the most

        The racist white folk also believe black folks are not entitled to the “American Dream”

        it belongs to them and only them. Some beliefs have not changed from the time of slavery, imo.

        This is the modern Democratic Party people.

        1. Yes that’s what drives me every day in the morning. How to keep the niggers down in order to – whatever.

          Wow. It’s amazing people like this are allowed to walk the streets without helmets, elbow and knee pads they’re so fucking insulting and stupid.

          1. I think it is part of the zero-sum world view. They see the world as a pie to be divided up. And if the world is zero-sum like that, then black people can’t succeed except at the expense of already successful people. That’s the best I can come up with.

        2. They have absolutely nothing else to run on but the race card and the “war on women” bullshit.

          And now that it looks like it’s not working that well anymore, they might be truly fucked.

        3. AND we have NOTHING ELSE…we have NOTHING ELSE

          we have NOTHING ELSE

          Fixed it for ’em.

      2. I’ve had this thought for awhile.

        Every fault found, every fault fabricated, every scrap of blame laid, every drop of bitter bile laced into absolutely leading questions posed by pundits, every question about his competency, every nightmare inspired accusation, and every ounce of fear spread across the United States; this layer of bullshit spread as fertilizer for discord, all of it is nothing more than smoke.

        It all is a smoke screen they employ to disguise the fact they hate him for the color of his skin.

        1. Who are these people who still think Obama is awesome. All of the lefty people I know don’t like him much more than I do. I guess they must be racists too.

        2. I hate obama not because he’s incompetent; I hate him because he’s racist.

    2. The secret meetings part is the best. Apparently the Republicans couldn’t conclude on their own that the needed to attack the other party’s President. They had to have a secret meeting to figure it out. Sadly, the guy no doubt believes this because he couldn’t make a decision without attending a party meeting and being told what to think so he figures the Republicans must be the same way.

      1. They really are mental. Absolutely convinced that racism is the only reason anyone would oppose Obama.

        1. I said the other day that stupid refined people are socialists. Stupid brutish people are anti-Semites. They are different in degree only and use the same vernacular. You can see that here. This is nothing but the Protocols of the Elders of Zion applied to Republicans.

          We only fail because of powerful and unseen forces!!

    3. When Obama was elected I assumed that he would do some fairly stupid things, do basically none of the things he claimed in his campaign, but ultimately just be mediocre. I didn’t expect blatant corruption, constant cover-ups, no attempt at compromise whatsoever, or a continuation/expansion of Bush-era insanity like the drone bombing program. I was clearly being naive.

      1. raaaaaacist

      2. Bush at least backed off in his last two years after the country slapped him down in the 06 midterms. Obama is going even further in response to the 14 ones. Doing immigration reform by executive order is like if Bush had decided to invade Syria in 2007.

      3. I didn’t expect blatant corruption, constant cover-ups, no attempt at compromise whatsoever

        What did you expect from a Chicago Democrat?

        1. Canadian, not massively informed six years ago on Chicago politics.

    4. What’s worse than a nut job? Because that’s what these people are.

    5. You just KNOW that those last two lines were typed through tear-blurred vision.

    6. This is obviously in great contrast to the election of a Republican president, when Democrat politicians gather in secret meetings to decide how they can help him achieve everything he wants.

  20. OK, enough with the Uranus jokes. Everybody knows it’s pronounced “urine-us”.

    1. No, we changed the name in order to get rid of that joke forever. It’s now Urectum.

      1. +1 Futurama.

  21. I may have posted about this before, but a couple of vegans are developing cow-free milk that’s actually good using synthetic biology. They engineer yeast and add in stuff afterward. I think they’re aiming for saleable product in a year but another source said later. It will initially cost more than normal milk but it will keep much longer because it has no bacteria in it.

    The vegans want to minimize animal suffering. I want to destroy dairy and cheese cartels.

    1. GMO!

    2. You are a staist fuck, piss of asshole.

    3. You are a staist fuck, piss of asshole.

  22. Way to go, Shackford! Stick it to the alt-text whiners!

  23. Hannity vs. Stewart IV: The Final Dimension

    The latest tiff between Stewart and Hannity blew up Tuesday after the “Daily Show” host told Rolling Stone that Hannity is “probably the most loathsome dude” at Fox News. “That’s just pure cynicism, and it’s horrible,” Stewart said of Hannity’s program. “Everything is presented in as devious a manner as it could possibly be presented.”

    Stewart also said that he has no interest in having Hannity on his show, although he admitted that he “probably should” and that “it would be interesting.”

    Reached by email, Hannity told POLITICO that Stewart should stick to reading jokes.

    “Nearly 50 million Americans on food stamps, nearly 50 million in poverty, the lowest labor participation rate since 1978, and Jon’s beloved president who once said George Bush’s debt was ‘irresponsible and unpatriotic’ has almost accumulated more debt then every other President before him combined,” Hannity wrote. “Do I even need to remind him about keeping our doctors, our health plans and saving money? And how is that healthcare website working out? Or Iraq, Isis, the ‘Russian reset’?”

    “Jon’s problem is he has his head so far up Obama’s ass he cannot see clearly, he is obviously better suited to reading his joke writers material, and making his clapping seal audience happy,” Hannity continued.

    1. “Jon’s problem is he has his head so far up Obama’s ass he cannot see clearly”

      That was funny.

      1. It would be if Sean didn’t have his head up Bush’s ass.

        1. Except that Stewart missed his chance to say that and Hannity effectively bitch slapped him in return.

          1. True, but it doesn’t change the fact that Hannity is guilty of the exact same thing in regards to a different person.

            1. Shut the fuck up Bo.

              1. Just like Hannity and Stewart, you don’t care about the facts. You’re a disgrace to your profession!

            2. Like I said, Stewart just got rolled by Sean Hannity. He has hit rock bottom.

            3. More importantly, Hannity would at least be honest about being a Bush Partisan and the comment about his head being up Bush’s ass wouldn’t bother him.

              Stewart in contrast actually thinks his shit doesn’t stink and he is a fair minded and non partisan person. So, I am quite sure pointing out the truth that he is a complete hack stung a lot.

              1. Maybe, but he has made a ton of money being a hack, so who knows if he actually cares. Furthermore, how many people who still watch or listen to him will care what Hannity has to say?

                1. Furthermore, how many people who still watch or listen to him will care what Hannity has to say?
                  The same number of people who listen to Hannity who care what Stewart says.

                  And yes Stewart has made a lot of money. So have a lot of other people. That doesn’t make what Hannity said any less true or any less funny.

                  And no matter how much money Stewart has made, the fact Hannity’s remark was funny to virtually anyone hearing it, tells you that culturally Stewart is associated with Obama. I am not sure that is going to work out so well going forward.

                  1. We’ll see. I was only questioning whether or not Stewart was actually stung by it himself. He may not give a sh*t.

        2. Maybe it’s just me, but I see a difference here. Hannity may often be a GOP cheerleader, but he’s upfront about that. Unlike Stewart, he doesn’t hide it behind a smarmy “I’m just a comic” act, and he doesn’t have Stewart’s “all who disagree with me are stupid or evil” attitude.

          1. I disagree. Hannity makes the argument that those who were in favor and/or responsible for the withdrawal in Iraq (somehow he forgets Bush’s role in negotiating this) are denigrating the lives of the 4000 Americans who died “freeing” these cities. He can’t bring himself to admit that it was him who was terribly wrong.

            1. Maybe, but that does not contradict what I wrote.

        3. *It would be if Sean didn’t have his head up Bush’s ass.*

          Didn’t take long for our new resident troll to trot out and bark, like a trained seal, “Yeah, but, Boooosh”.

    2. OK, so I don’t care for Hannity, but that was an epic putdown.

    3. “Jon’s problem is he has his head so far up Obama’s ass he cannot see clearly, he is obviously better suited to reading his joke writers material, and making his clapping seal audience happy,”

      That is pretty funny. Things have gotten so bad for Stewart he just got rolled by Sean Hannity. That’s like getting beat up by Micheal Cera. I am pretty Stewart needs to retire now because he has hit rock bottom.

      1. I was sure he needed to retire several years ago when he stopped being funny.

        1. Stewart is still funny, he just needs writers who do more than take direction from the DNC.

      2. hings have gotten so bad for Stewart he just got rolled by Sean Hannity. That’s like getting beat up by Micheal Cera.

        I nominate this for thread winner.

    4. Damn. That actually made me not only not hate Hannity, but actually like him for a few seconds.

    5. I hate Hannity but love this answer.

    6. Hannity is a great American.

      1. said no one ever

        1. I’m pretty sure Hannity says it every time he sees himself in a mirror.

    7. “That’s just pure cynicism, and it’s horrible,” Stewart said of Hannity’s program.”

      Of all things to claim is horrible about another show, Stewart chooses cynicism, really? Pots and kettles, Jon.

    8. Yeah, it’s Obama’s fault that Iraq’s so fucked up.

  24. My local news channel is running a “feed the hungry over the holidays”-type food drive. They had a woman from a charity on the show who did the stunt where someone tries to live on the value of food stamps for a week. Turns out this is difficult to do, and she had to return her black tea and olive oil to the shelves due to insufficient funds.

    1. Turns out this is difficult to do, and she had to return her black tea and olive oil to the shelves due to insufficient funds.

      That is somewhat a hardship but still not too bad, but if she also had to return the brie and the smoked salmon, then it is clearly an outrage!

      1. “the brie and the smoked salmon, then it is clearly an outrage!”

        *Cream cheese* and smoked salmon, you philistine!
        Brie with crackers or points.

    2. As my mom says about the few months our family of 8 was on food stamps “We never ate better. But you had to go for a few months with holes in your shoes.”

      This is why I like to buy the bottled water from the poor people an the subway stops. They’re taking the excess food the government forces on them and turning it into something they actually need.

      1. *They’re taking the excess food the government forces on them and turning it into something they actually need*

        Like crack and Miller Lite.

  25. From the “what if Republicans did this” file –

    “Democrats promote absentee ballots, early voting and removing barriers and obstacles from the polls — except in House leadership races apparently.

    “House Democrats rejected their pregnant colleague’s plea to submit proxy votes in the House Democratic Caucus’s leadership and committee elections next week. Rep. Tammy Duckworth, a disabled war veteran who is due to have her first child in December, is missing the elections in person next week because her physician advised her not to travel.

    “While proxy voting is explicitly against caucus rules, Duckworth, who had both of her legs amputated when the helicopter she was flying was shot down in Iraq, wrote a letter from Illinois to request a waiver due to her extraordinary circumstances.”

    http://abcnews.go.com/Politics…..d=26915859

    1. I didn’t think it was possible to loathe a handicapped person, but Tammy Duckworth changed my mind.

      1. WHy do you loath her? I think the Democrats are being assholes here. Why shouldn’t she be able to vote by proxy? She is pregnant and can’t travel.

        1. The “D-Ill” is not a good start.

          1. True. But I don’t see any reason to loath her over this.

  26. The American Civil Liberties Union is suing the Army on behalf of a practicing Sikh applicant who is not being permitted to wear a turban or grow his hair out as his religion requires.

    Just tell the ACLU that the turban and hair are hidden Christian symbols and they will suddenly turn this into a church-state separation thingy.

    Sweden reports a foreign submarine trespassed within its waters but couldn’t say for certain which country it was from. The country did pick up a radio call in Russian, but the country denies any involvement.

    The Swedes are being a bit chauvinistic here, because while NO ONE speaks Swedish outside Sweden, a lot of people learned Russian the hard way (with a bayonet poking at the ribs) during the days of the Eastern Block.

  27. Global Warming! Alarm, alarm!!!111!!

    Increased lightning will create more ozone pollution and more global warming

    Global warming causes lightning causes global warming. I don’t want to alarm you, but we are in a death spiral. Kiss your children while you can.

    1. Shocking!

    2. Oh my God. I thought you were just joking. God. GOD DAMMIT WHY DOES THERE HAVE TO BE SO MUCH DERP

    3. Its a feedback loop. Run!!

      1. SF’ed.

    4. As I said up above.

      It’s now going to be anthropogenic atmospheric carbon creation. It’s responsible for every extreme weather phenomenon. Now just do what the watermelons have proposed since the ’73 oil embargo. Give up your cars, air conditioning and suburban lifestyle.

  28. http://pjmedia.com/lifestyle/2…..chihuahua/

    Man claims PETA kidnapped and murdered the family chihuahua. PETA really is evil. They are not just silly and ignorant. They are evil.

    1. The People Eating Tasty Animals PETA?

      1. There is nothing tasty about a chihuahua Troy.

        1. Agreed. I prefer Mastiff.

        2. The preferred breed in Korean cuisine is the Nureongi.

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nureongi

  29. At the bottom of the Uranus article, there’s this little nugget from the same writer – Scientist apologizes for his sexist shirt, but the Internet still wants women to shut up and die

    1. I’m amazed that having a shirt with pictures of attractive women is now “misogyny.” I guess the term is doomed to be stretched out of all proportion the way “racism” has been.

      1. Wait til they see some of the video game characters.

  30. Obama’s Impeachment Insurance Policy? Joe Biden. Awwwww Yeeeaaahhh.

    A senior aide to a House Republican told MailOnline on Friday that ‘Avoiding the “I” word’ is a case of ‘better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.’

    ‘Only in this case, we’re pretty sure we know both devils. And Biden ? he’s two floppy shoes short of a complete clown outfit. Let’s be honest: He’s Obama’s insurance policy.’

    In a speech this year, Biden told a gathering of African leaders that Africa was a country, not a continent.

    It brought back memories of a 2008 photo-op outside Biden’s home where he told journalists that he had just returned from ‘a successful dump,’ which turned out to be a trip to a nearby landfill.

    In 2010 he had a diplomatic face-palm moment by consoling Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen on the loss of his mother ? who was very much alive.

    In 2012 he made the sign of the cross while on stage to address a group of more than 1,600 Jewish rabbis.

    1. “In 2012 he made the sign of the cross while on stage to address a group of more than 1,600 Jewish rabbis.”

      Wow, not just rabbis, but *Jewish* rabbis!

      1. Remind me again why this is wrong?

        1. Othering. Only Christians can be othered.

    2. The GOP should embrace The Biden Years. It will only make them look better. It might also destroy the country but no option is perfect.

    3. I love the “successful dump” remark, I may have to keep that one in mind the next time one of my San Francisco prog friends brings up Bush’s malapropisms (and yes, they actually still do sometimes).

    4. If that’s the sort of stuff we can expect from Biden, I’ll take it. If the president is going to be terrible, he can at least be funny.

      1. Damn you, Zeb!

    5. However, instead of the awful Obama presidency, we’d get the hilariously awful Biden presidency. It would be worth the laughs.

  31. “Though the tone from conservative, liberal, religious and secular, women and men, varies?regardless of the medium?the underlying message is the same: man up. And by this is meant: check your privilege. And by this is sensed: males, your opinions on matters of sexual and social importance are less important, your experience is less valid, and any offence you may have felt is less offensive than the offense you have (if only collectively) dealt.

    “While we, the personal pundits or contributors and consumers of established media outlets, are quick to call-out and decry sexist messaging about women, it is uncommon, if not entirely unacceptable, to equate the evil of misogyny with the evil of misandry. (Not even Word recognizes it as a word. Masonry, malady, missionary?)…

    “…We give the microphone (or pass the “phallic scepter,” that delightful phrase from my undergrad feminist readings on Jacques Lacan) to the victim-victor, by way of making recompense for our cultural sins. But this affirmative action fails to recognize the inherently subjective nature of suffering. And, not only this, it also serves to ensures that the pendulum will continue to swing, one extreme to the next…”

    http://www.firstthings.com/web…..hts-on-men

    1. I was in a meeting the other day where the head of “cultural competency” for a large government agency (yes, that’s a real job, and well-paid, too) bemoaned the fact that he felt there were “too many Caucasians” with jobs in his agency. He wanted an immediate new policy that 60% of all new hires must be “documented multicultural”, whatever that means. He also demanded that the agency eliminate “unnecessary boundaries” to hiring “multiculturals”, such as college degrees, specialty training, etc.

      He actually followed that up by saying that being multicultural was far more important than being qualified for a job.

      I wonder if there is a logical end to this road or if this mindset will keep expanding.

      1. Of course there is: Mediocrity.

        1. F. Murray Abraham absolves you.

      2. It worked in the movie Trading Places.

      3. There is. They even made a movie about it, “Idiocracy.”

      4. This is a vice-president level position at the corporation I work for (and I’m sure many others).

  32. Aman-duh Marcotte: Bring On the Reddit Censorship!

    And just like that, Reddit?Reddit, of all companies?has a female CEO. Nitasha Tiku at Valleywag reports that Yishan Wong resigned as Reddit CEO, leaving Ellen Pao, the head of business and partnerships, to take over as interim CEO. Lead investor Sam Altman announced that Wong voluntarily left over a dispute over office space. As for Pao, Altman says, “Because of her combination of vision, execution, and leadership, I expect that she’ll do an incredible job.”

    Taking a more charitable view, perhaps having a woman in charge of a site that is, among other things, a stomping ground for misogynists will have a positive effect. And not just any woman: Pao has a history of confronting sexism in the real world. In 2012, she sued Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers for sexual harassment and discrimination. She could be CEO of Reddit when that suit goes to trial.

    Look, there are great things on Reddit?I’m a fan of the Game of Thrones fan forums, for instance. But if it ever wants to expand beyond its sewer-dwelling reputation, it’s going to have to be more aggressive in policing the worst impulses of its users. Hopefully Pao will do better on this than Wong did.

    Redditors, prepare Uranuses.

    1. That reads like a take-out menu

      1. thanks for getting Monster energy drink all over my keyboard

    2. Look, there are great things on Reddit?I’m a fan of the Game of Thrones fan forums, for instance. But if it ever wants to expand beyond its sewer-dwelling reputation, it’s going to have to be more aggressive in policing the worst impulses of its users. Hopefully Pao will do better on this than Wong did.

      I am sure the investors of Reddit care so much about the opinions of some neurotic nitwit living on her parent’s charity in Brooklyn with six cats.

      Amanda knows just what a tech company needs to do to be successful. That is why she has made so much money running such companies. Right?

      1. Why do I have the feeling that “make it more appealing to me” is her proscribed business model for every company?

        1. Its all about Amanda and her feelings. That is what feminism is, a bunch of entitled white women expecting the world to cater to their wants and preferences.

      2. What, are you saying that people who use Reddit are looking for a free and open forum for the exchange of ideas? Crazy! Everyone I know that visits Reddit is just begging for authoritarian nitwits to “aggressively police their…impulses”

        1. Only their BAD impulses, p.a.! Their GOOD impulses are just fine!

    3. I’m not a reddit user, but I’m sure that a wave of SJW “policing” is EXACTLY what their business model needs.

      1. But it worked so well for 4chan.

    4. Marcotte: It’s not enough that I don’t have to go to the site, it has to be censored to my tastes!

  33. I heard Dragon Age: Inquisition is more or less GOTY. Absolutely amazing and even blows SkyRim away. Which is good because 2014 has only been marginally better than 2013 in terms of games.

    1. I had I hopes for Shadows of Mordor, until it turned out to be an Assassin’s Creed clone, and the actual Assassin’s Creed appears to be a FPS monster and buggy to boot.

    2. That’s good to hear. The first Dragon Age was terrific, but Bioware has their work cut out for them to win me back after how unbelievably awful DA2 was.

    3. Guess I know what I’ll be picking up in the Steam 2016 Fall Sale!

      Seriously, those fuckers ruined me for ever paying more than $20 for a game (made one exception this year for Civ Beyond Earth).

    4. Have you seen the Lost Ark trailer yet?

  34. ISIS has been driven out of Beiji.

    http://news.nationalpost.com/2…..ederated=1

  35. I noted this somewhere else, but it looks like Gruber’s major contribution to O-care was a software package that allowed testing various schemes to game the CBO:

    “The model, the Gruber Microsimulation Model, is the coin of the realm, in large part because it is similar to the model used by the Congressional Budget Office. That means administration policy-makers could predict with reasonable certainty how CBO would score legislation. Given that legislation in Washington often falls or rises depending on the CBO score, that made this model a very powerful tool for administration officials.”
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..istration/

    So he was the propagandist-in-chief, whose primary job was hiding what the law actually did.

    1. Isn’t lying to the CBO some kind of a crime?

      1. I don’t think he lied, just designed a program that allocates money to the various ‘budgets’ and fools the CBO algorithm into false predictions.

        1. Just like if you try to structure your finances so as to avoid federal scrutiny, that’s not a crime.

      2. It’s not lying. It’s predicting how they will score a piece of legislation without actually giving it to them.

        IIRC, the CBO has some pretty specific rules they follow (to ensure that they are objective and can’t put a thumb on the scales to buoy or drown legislation based on their subjective whims.

        So you can predict what they are going to say without actually going to them if you have access to a set of tools that are similar to the ones they have.

        It’s like the Brits constructing their own version of Enigma to break the German codes.

        What is telling though is that it was an unnecessary exercise: the CBO would have scored the legislation if asked! What this implies is that they were trying to be opaque in generating the legislation – adding and modifying components of the law in a bid to find the magical combination that would be deficit neutral without being observed.

        If the law is a good law, this sort of opaque process is utterly unnecessary. It only becomes required when you are trying to game a system that would otherwise reject your proposal.

        1. “It only becomes required when you are trying to game a system that would otherwise reject your proposal.”

          Or that your proposal is so egregiously harmful to the national economy that you have to game the CBO to show it “isn’t”.
          It’s a way to trick the CBO into lying for you.

        2. But the point here is that his primary purpose was NOT helping with econ policies which would ‘fairly’ distribute the costs, or policies that would somehow reduce the costs. Nope, it looks like his remit was simply disguising the actual economic effects of the law in order to deceive the public.

      3. It’s sort of like supplying someone with burglary tools.

      4. So is destroying evidence, unless you work for the IRS.

  36. A Dallas-area school teacher was formally fired by the school board last night for racially charged tweets about the Ferguson shooting, which called her critics “crackers” and suggested they kill themselves.

    I constantly hear on Reason how difficult, nay, impossible it is to fire teachers. What are the chances this will stick?

    1. It’s Texas, not NY.

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