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A.M. Links: Gay Marriage Suffers Major Legal Defeat, Russian Tanks Enter Ukraine, SEALs Denounce Bin Laden Shooter

Damon Root | 11.7.2014 9:00 AM

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  • Credit: C-SPAN

    The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 6th Circuit has upheld the constitutionality of gay marriage bans in Ohio, Michigan, Kentucky, and Tennessee. This is the first federal appellate court ruling against same-sex marriage since the 2013 Defense of Marriage Act decision by the Supreme Court and virtually guarantees an eventual SCOTUS ruling on the matter.

  • Dozens of Russian tanks and military vehicles have crossed the border into Ukraine.
  • President Barack Obama will meet for lunch today with congressional leaders, including the Republicans who now control both the House and the Senate. No, that won't be awkward.
  • "Republicans' big midterm wins throw a potential curveball at President Obama as he weighs his replacement for outgoing Attorney General Eric Holder—forcing him to decide whether to introduce a nominee during the lame-duck session or take his chances with a more hostile Senate majority after January."
  • The senior leadership of the Navy SEALs is speaking out against the former SEAL who has come forward to say he shot Osama bin Laden.
  • Christopher Epps, the former head of the Mississippi Corrections Commission, has been charged with accepting more than $700,000 in bribes.

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NEXT: Dozens of Russian Tanks Enter Ukraine

Damon Root is a senior editor at Reason and the author of A Glorious Liberty: Frederick Douglass and the Fight for an Antislavery Constitution (Potomac Books).

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    At least we didn’t have to wait for Root to put on his makeup.

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Hello.

      Oh look, AM links on time.

      Sterling Archer in the gun control thread posted this:

      http://readersupportednews.org…..ss-anymore

      Scary stuff.

      1. gaijin   11 years ago

        When 70 percent of Americans polled…

        So, I guess we should just replace elections with polls…then everything right and true would be realized.

      2. Steve G   11 years ago

        “We don’t need congress anymore…”

        Too bad, it started out so nice.

      3. Zeb   11 years ago

        Congress should be abolished because it sometimes does what it was designed to do: keep the excesses of democracy in check. OK. Way to miss the point.

    2. hamilton   11 years ago

      You are such an agent of the Patriarchy I just can’t even. I bet ENB takes away your first-to-comment privileges for this.

      1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

        NO SOFT, SILLY WOMAN CAN UNSEAT ME FROM MY HARD-EARNED THRONE.

        1. gaijin   11 years ago

          I’ll be you even leave the seat up on your throne

          1. WTF   11 years ago

            Only when he poops.

          2. cavalier973   11 years ago

            He stands on the throne and then uses a styrofoam cup to “clean”.

            1. cavalier973   11 years ago

              And don’t shake his left hand. Don’t do it.

              1. Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)   11 years ago

                Or his right hand…

                Or any other part of him, for that matter.

    3. Bee Tagger   11 years ago

      Root saw his chance to capitalize after so many people mistakenly thought ENB is the biggest violator of the 9am rule.

  2. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Dozens of Russian tanks and military vehicles have crossed the border into Ukraine.

    You know who else moved tanks across Russian borders in November?

    1. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

      Open borders!

    2. Slammer   11 years ago

      World of Tanks players?

      1. BardMetal   11 years ago

        Putin is just test driving his new KV-1

      2. The DerpRider   11 years ago

        Stalingrad map out! Much fun for flanking!

      3. Troy muy grande boner   11 years ago

        Tier 6 russian heavys rule.

    3. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

      Stalin?

    4. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

      The Ukrainians should have never given up their nukes.

      1. Brett L   11 years ago

        The Libyans agree with this.

        1. Free Society   11 years ago

          And yet shitholes undeserving of sovereignty like Pakistan, have plenty enough nukes to guarantee it.

  3. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    President Barack Obama will meet for lunch today with congressional leaders…

    No “I won” this time around.

    1. WTF   11 years ago

      Unless he hears it from Boehner and McConnell.

  4. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    My American exceptionalism fantasy is over: How these midterms sealed the deal

    And after suffering through a painful second term of President Bush, my hope was delivered in the form of Barack Obama. I connected with candidate Obama on such a personal and symbolic level ? not to mention a redemptive one ? that his campaign and its culmination became the highlight of my standing as an American citizen. The fact that America could produce and recognize such an amazing leader validated the theory of American exceptionalism, which I’d been embracing since my Italian days. Even my cynical Italian friends were impressed and inspired.

    Little did any of us know that the hilarity of the failed Palin bid for vice president would somehow embolden the extremists, while the Republican establishment would be so frightened of an Obama presidency that together they’d usher in an era of American absurdity and obstructionism ? one that propelled us as a nation not toward a shining beacon of democracy, but a parody republic. It was hard to watch. So hard, that I had to tune out after the reelection of President Obama, a victory not nearly as sweet and meaningful as the first, considering the circus the Republicans offered this time as a harbinger to their continued truculence regardless of the results.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      one that propelled us as a nation not toward a shining beacon of democracy, but a parody republic

      So now the republic is an object of scorn. Yay mob rule.

      1. Restoras   11 years ago

        Tony prefers mob rule. He thinks its the only acceptable form of government.

      2. Free Society   11 years ago

        So now the republic is an object of scorn. Yay mob rule.

        You haven’t heard? Decisions made by large groups imposing their will on small groups are sacrosanct. What could be more moral than whatever the majority says is moral? NOTHING

        1. cavalier973   11 years ago

          Unless it’s to “ban” “same-sex marriage”.

    2. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      From his Italian days, he yearned for a country which was worthy of having a Duce – uh, Leader.

      1. Slammer   11 years ago

        He ended up with a deuce.

        1. Steve G   11 years ago

          close. I had just taken a swig, but was able to save it.

    3. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      “I connected with candidate Obama on such a personal and symbolic level ? not to mention a redemptive one ? that his campaign and its culmination became the highlight of my standing as an American citizen. The fact that America could produce and recognize such an amazing leader validated the theory of American exceptionalism, which I’d been embracing since my Italian days. Even my cynical Italian friends were impressed and inspired.”

      From one coomba to another Andrew, sei un vero strunzo.

      What the fuck does this even mean?

      1. Raven Nation   11 years ago

        I connected with candidate Obama on such a personal and symbolic level ? not to mention a redemptive one

        And that there should be a reason to reject everything else he writes. Instead it will be seen as genius.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

          He forgot to add, “I stood under the rain as it splashed all over my face just like a good load of hot cum.”

          1. Slammer   11 years ago

            Calm down, Rufus, jeezus christ.

            1. BFawlty   11 years ago

              Yeah no kidding man….just…..oh man….

              1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

                Too vulgar? For this crowd?

                1. Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)   11 years ago

                  Too canadian.

          2. Tonio   11 years ago

            Rufe, that sort of thing is best left to Sugar Free who has a knack for it.

      2. Ted S.   11 years ago

        It means they were stupid enough to vote for a candidate based on genetics.

        1. Free Society   11 years ago

          It means they were stupid racist enough to vote for a candidate based on genetics

          1. Ted S.   11 years ago

            Why not both?

            1. Free Society   11 years ago

              Well racism is mostly stupid.

              1. Zeb   11 years ago

                It sometimes isn’t?

                1. Free Society   11 years ago

                  I find women of European descent attractive. I don’t find women of African descent attractive, in the least bit. That’s racism, but it’s not necessarily unethical.

                  1. pan fried wylie   11 years ago

                    I find women of European descent attractive. I don’t find women of African descent attractive, in the least bit. That’s racism, but it’s not necessarily unethical.

                    Is that racism? Are you not attracted to them because of their ethnicity: “She’s black, gross.” Or because YOU’RE JUST NOT ATTRACTED TO THEM?!

                    When I look at dudes, I don’t find them attractive. Does that make me a gaycist?

                    1. Free Society   11 years ago

                      Is that racism? Are you not attracted to them because of their ethnicity:

                      Correct. Black women look uncomfortably similar to black men. The features specific to the various sub-Saharan ethnicities, I find most unappealing. So generally speaking I do look at black women and say to myself; “gross”. I’m just not attracted to them and there’s nothing wrong with that. Racism isn’t always pure evil is the point, because even innocuous preferences qualify for that moniker.

                      Does that make me a gaycist?

                      A gay fish, actually.

                    2. cavalier973   11 years ago

                      You obviously did not have access to National Geographic as a kid.

                    3. Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)   11 years ago

                      Droopy boobs for the win!

                    4. Free Society   11 years ago

                      You obviously did not have access to National Geographic as a kid.

                      Would neck stretching and lip plates make me change my mind?

                  2. Zeb   11 years ago

                    OK. I don’t know if I would necessarily call that “racism”. But some people would, I’m sure.
                    I try to make a distinction between personal preferences and broad observations about different racial groupings, and the stupid kind of racism where people think that their prejudices about racial groupings (whether true or false) allow them to assume things about individuals based on race.

                    1. Free Society   11 years ago

                      OK. I don’t know if I would necessarily call that “racism”. But some people would, I’m sure.

                      Tell a black woman that you don’t find her and those of her phenotype to be at all attractive and I suspect she’ll color you a racist. But so what? Not all racists and forms of racism are created equal.

                      I try to make a distinction between personal preferences and broad observations about different racial groupings, and the stupid kind of racism where people think that their prejudices about racial groupings (whether true or false) allow them to assume things about individuals based on race.

                      It’s a fair distinction to make, I agree. But it sounds like you don’t want to use the word “racism” to describe preferential differentiation because the word “racism” is loaded with all sorts of negative connotations. However the ickiness of a word shouldn’t deter us from applying it without prejudice.

                    2. Zeb   11 years ago

                      I see what you are saying. I have a good friend who sometimes describes himself as “racist but not prejudiced” in a somewhat similar way.

                    3. Free Society   11 years ago

                      Yeah that’s a good way to put it. I would say to Rosa Parks “Sit where ever the fuck you want on the bus, just not on my penis.”

    4. Apatheist ?_??   11 years ago

      Anybody who connects personally with a politician they don’t even know if a pathetic waste of life.

      1. Lillia   11 years ago

        Agreed, double this for anyone who says a politician’s win was the highlight of their life as an American. And I don’t even know what it means to connect on a redemptive level.

        1. Roger the Shrubber   11 years ago

          connect on a redemptive level

          It means that the original sin of racism has been washed from him in the act of voting for a black man.

      2. Zeb   11 years ago

        connects personally with a politician they don’t even know

        That seems a bit contradictory, doesn’t it? He’s both a waste of life and fucking nuts.

    5. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Progressive truly are an arrogant, petulant bunch of smug superficial buffoons.

      1. SForza   11 years ago

        But I repeat myself…

    6. BardMetal   11 years ago

      “I connected with candidate Obama on such a personal and symbolic level ? not to mention a redemptive one ? that his campaign and its culmination became the highlight of my standing as an American citizen. The fact that America could produce and recognize such an amazing leader validated the theory of American exceptionalism, which I’d been embracing since my Italian days”

      What is up with the disturbing man crush so many people seem to have on this guy? They really act like he is the second coming of Christ or something.

      I wasn’t a fan of president Bush, but were the Bush years really so bad for these people that the next president has to be seen as some sort of messiah? Is it the president’s race? Does the left just not the maturity to handle a black president? Is it the leftist language the president uses in his speeches that gives these writers multiple orgasms?

      Frankly I just don’t get it, I’ve never felt that way about anyone, let alone someone I’ve never met.

      1. VG Zaytsev   11 years ago

        What is up with the disturbing man crush so many people seem to have on this guy? They really act like he is the second coming of Christ or something.

        He’s the won that the academic left has been preaching about for a century. A true man of the people who styles himself a leftwing academic.

        Is it the president’s race?

        Partially, they see racial slavery as America’s unique original sin. Hence all the talk of redemption in electing a mulatto.

        Does the left just not the maturity to handle a black president?

        No

        Is it the leftist language the president uses in his speeches that gives these writers multiple orgasms?

        Yes, hearing the banalities of their faith read out loud well is as orgasmic to them as a skilled preachers oration is to fundies.

      2. LynchPin1477   11 years ago

        I don’t think progressive really see this as “their” country. So much of what is typically associated with America comes from conservative culture. Obama inspired them because they thought he could give them an America that would be their own.

      3. Zeb   11 years ago

        It is really weird. He was the Democratic candidate and provided a historic moment by being half black, so of course people were going to support him and of course people who don’t usually vote are going to come out to “be part of history”.
        But how are people still imagining that he is some sort of exceptional leader? It’s amazing how deeply partisans can convince themselves of bullshit like that.

    7. Tonio   11 years ago

      That’s delicious, and putting the cart before the horse. The Palin candidacy was the expression of an emboldened constituency, not a manufactured event. But it’s a useful window into the writer’s mindset.

    8. LynchPin1477   11 years ago

      personal and symbolic level ? not to mention a redemptive one

      To Barrack Obama, our Sov’reign King,
      Who is the world’s salvation,
      All praise and homage do we bring
      And thanks and adoration.
      Barrack Obama, victor! Barrack Obama, ruler!
      Barrack Obama, Lord and redeemer!

      Thy reign extend, O King benign,
      To ev’ry land and nation;
      For in thy kingdom, Lord divine,
      Alone we find salvation.
      Barrack Obama, victor! Barrack Obama, ruler!
      Barrack Obama, Lord and redeemer!

      To thee and to thy Change, great King,
      We pledge our hearts’ oblation
      Until before thy throne we sing
      In endless jubilation.
      Barrack Obama, victor! Barrack Obama, ruler!
      Barrack Obama, Lord and redeemer!

      1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

        *applause*

        1. LynchPin1477   11 years ago

          The scary part is that I only had to change three words in the entire thing, and it seems to fit just about perfectly.

    9. Red Rocks Rockin   11 years ago

      The whole article is a shitlib mating call, but this part at the front was a prime candidate for shitthatdidnthappen.txt:

      Over 2003 to 2004, I lived in Italy for a year. It was a politically tumultuous time in America, and I spent much of my time in Italy fielding questions from concerned Italians about what was going on in the States. There was concern about the flawed election results of 2000, America’s withdrawal from the Kyoto Protocol, and, of course, America’s response to the attacks of 9/11.

      Yeah, I’m sure the average Italian spent their days worrying over America’s withdrawal from Kyoto. Sheesh, if these guys are going to write fabulist prose, at least make it sound realistic.

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        That statement doesn’t say the Italians were concerned. That was probably all of the writer’s projection.

        1. cavalier973   11 years ago

          He went on a harangue about Kyoto when he first got over there, and the Italians found it so amusing they asked him about it every chance they got.

    10. Bill Dalasio   11 years ago

      considering the circus the Republicans offered this time as a harbinger to their continued truculence regardless of the results.

      So, basically, this retard is insisting that, because someone he liked won an election, all opposition and disagreement with his preferred policy choices should disappear.

    11. Juice   11 years ago

      . I connected with candidate Obama on such a personal and symbolic level

      I have NEVER understood this shit. Why are people this gullible?

  5. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    The senior leadership of the Navy SEALs is speaking out against the former SEAL who has come forward to say he shot Osama bin Laden.

    But he didn’t kill the deputy.

    1. DeOppressoLiber   11 years ago

      What a short sighted move for this guy to make. Getting a real job must be more difficult than he thought. I guess working out a lot isn’t all that impressive on a resume.

      1. Raven Nation   11 years ago

        I was surprised to read his story because my impression was SEALs (& other specops guys) kept their mouths shut perpetually.

        1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

          That is the rule.

        2. Idle Hands   11 years ago

          there are exceptions to every rule, I am sure.

          1. Idle Hands   11 years ago

            Also Jesse Ventura hasn’t shut his mouth in like 60 years.

        3. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

          Loose lips is the first step towards collapse.

        4. DeOppressoLiber   11 years ago

          For everyone else in special operations forces, quiet professional is the rule. That’s why everyone else in sof hates on SEALS. They are great st making work out videos, starring in shifty action movies, or literally telling everyone, everytime in the bar who they are.

      2. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

        He wants a police job.

        1. Ted S.   11 years ago

          + Morgan Fairchild.

      3. BardMetal   11 years ago

        Navy SEAL isn’t a real job?

        1. Ted S.   11 years ago

          Is government-sector work a real job?

          1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

            Not for most titles, no.

        2. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

          You can only do that so long…you can cop until you figure out how to get that 75-80% pension built up then go out on “disability” your last year or two to bump it up even more.

      4. Tonio   11 years ago

        It’s not just working out a lot, although being in top physical shape is part of it. These people generally have good decision-making skills and are highly educable.

        1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

          fast decision skills

          And they shoot every day.

      5. This Machine Implies Consent   11 years ago

        What a short sighted move for this guy to make. Getting a real job must be more difficult than he thought. I guess working out a lot isn’t all that impressive on a resume.

        Exactly this. I’d think a guy who used to work for a Tier 1 outfit wouldn’t have a problem finding a job somewhere in one of the various and sundry clandestine organizations the US employs. Or maybe he’s just getting old and broken and he’s preparing to launch some tacticool ELITE SHOOTER DEFENSE TOTAL FORCE SYSTEM TACTICAL CONCEPTS course that he hopes the cops will pay him a bunch of money to teach.

        1. db   11 years ago

          +1 tacticool vest

        2. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

          http://www.bouhammer.com/2009/…..ay-geardo/

      6. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

        There are a lot of corporations that would jump at the chance to employ a NAVY Seal, particularly in the sales department. And particularly by companies that sell to the government.

        It’s almost as good as employing a famous athlete.

  6. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    …forcing him to decide whether to introduce a nominee during the lame-duck session or take his chances with a more hostile Senate majority after January.

    I’m sure he’ll respect the will of the voters.

    1. WTF   11 years ago

      He will respect the presumed will of the alleged 2/3 voters who didn’t vote. As he interprets it.

  7. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    President Barack Obama will meet for lunch today with congressional leaders, including the Republicans who now control both the House and the Senate. No, that won’t be awkward

    Elections have consequences, bitches.

    1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      We’ll see about that.

    2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      ‘They only elected you guys because your obstructionism worked. They actually like my policies. They just don’t know it. Let’s eat!”

  8. waffles   11 years ago

    Christopher Epps, the former head of the Mississippi Corrections Commission, has been charged with accepting more than $700,000 in bribes

    On the radio they were talking about a criminal complaint against some local politician for 20k in unlogged miles on a municipal vehicle. Pffftt…this is how you do graft.

    1. waffles   11 years ago

      Also 700k is almost 3x what the Silkroad 2 guy cleared. Who is the bigger criminal?

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        The one who didn’t work for the government.

        1. Free Society   11 years ago

          Correct.

      2. bassjoe   11 years ago

        The Silk Road 2 guy was helping to sell DRUGS. A much worse crime than corrupting the criminal justice system of an entire state. Duh.

        1. Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)   11 years ago

          You can’t corrupt something that is already corrupt.

  9. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Mystery solved: Where the penis comes from

    It’s not a question a lot of scientists ponder out loud, but it’s key to much of life on Earth: Exactly how does the penis form? Today, two teams of researchers report having solved one part of this mystery, pinpointing how the organ gets its start in snake, lizard, mouse, and chick embryos. Now that they understand the penis’s origin, researchers can track its development in more detail to understand what drives it to follow a different path in females and become a clitoris. The finding doesn’t just answer a biological conundrum; it could also help millions of people born with genital malformations.

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      For $25, how does it work? $30 for a demonstration.

      1. Florida Man   11 years ago

        How much for a Z-job?

        1. Monty Crisco   11 years ago

          If you gotta ask…you can’t afford it.

          +1 Barry Badrinath

    2. Rich   11 years ago

      these new insights into how the penis gets started in the embryo are impressive, says Gunter Wagner, an evolutionary biologist at Yale University

      But which came first — the penis or the egg?

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        The egg, broadcast spawning predates copulation.

      2. hamilton   11 years ago

        Eggs don’t come, Rich.

        1. Rich   11 years ago

          They come down the Fallopian tube, wiseguy.

          1. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

            So they come and then they go

            1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

              +1 Lili Von Shtupp

              1. db   11 years ago

                Too soon.

                1. Tonio   11 years ago

                  ISWYDT, db.

            2. SForza   11 years ago

              Like karma chameleons.

  10. db   11 years ago

    I guess Putin has “more flexibility” since the election.

    1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      Obama’s?

  11. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

    The restaurant that wanted a one-star rating on Yelp

    http://thenewinquiry.com/essay…..e-reviews/

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      Good for them. Yelp is an extortion racket.

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      This is appropriate, I think.

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        That strip reminds me of the logic used by people who commit credit card fraud.

        Like this one somebody I know said:

        “The credit card company will reimburse the person!”

  12. gaijin   11 years ago

    Dozens of Russian tanks and military vehicles have crossed the border into Ukraine.

    Again? This story is starting to sound like the one about Voyager leaving the solar system.

    1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      The road is circular, but they never report on the tanks and truck leaving the Ukraine.

      1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

        Doesn’t count if its a maintenance haul-back!

    2. db   11 years ago

      I just picture Putin sending tanks over the border just long enough to get Ukraine to make a stink about it and pull them out immediately before anyone can verify there presence. It’s like international Hokey-Pokey.

      1. db   11 years ago

        Their

      2. Rich   11 years ago

        international Hokey-Pokey

        Nice.

      3. Ted S.   11 years ago

        I’d think spy satellites can verify their presence fairly quickly.

        1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

          Ukranian and Russian tanks look the same – they’re both Soviet models. So it’d be hard to tell a rebel-painted Russian tank from a rebel-painted depot-raided tank.

  13. Slammer   11 years ago

    President Barack Obama will meet for lunch today with congressional leaders,

    Crow will be served, but remain uneaten.

  14. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Company sells furry ‘Rectum’ and ‘Anus’ toys for kids

    They may not be every parent’s idea of a perfect furry companion for their children – but a company is offering furry ‘Rectum’ and ‘Anus’ toys this Christmas.

    The anatomically correct furry organs cost ?12.50 each on mail order from American firm I Heart Guts and come with amusing facts – and even theme songs.

    The rectum’s ‘favourite song’ is Drop It Like It’s Hot by Snoop Dog – and it’s job is described as ‘waste disposal.’

    1. waffles   11 years ago

      No parent wants their child to turn furry.

    2. Idle Hands   11 years ago

      Wut.

    3. JEP   11 years ago

      Oh boy, I’ve been looking for Christmas present ideas.

      Grandma, you’re going to get a kick out of this!

    4. Every Cop is a Criminal   11 years ago

      furry ‘Rectum’ and ‘Anus’ toys

      I honestly took that to mean furry buttplugs and such, which made me think, I don’t think kids should be doing this.

  15. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Christopher Epps, the former head of the Mississippi Corrections Commission, has been charged with accepting more than $700,000 in bribes.

    Corrupt private prisons.

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      It’s because of private prisons he was forced to do this because living wage.

      Duh.

    2. bassjoe   11 years ago

      Money goes from state to private prison and from private prison to state employee, where it is seized by the state.

      The circle of life

      1. Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)   11 years ago

        Like getting ate by a lion.

  16. This Machine Implies Consent   11 years ago

    The senior leadership of the Navy SEALs is speaking out against the former SEAL who has come forward to say he shot Osama bin Laden.

    Good. Glad to know the title “Quiet Professional” still means something.

    1. db   11 years ago

      It only seems to.mean anything for the low ranks; the upper levels seem to be free to yak and leak all they want.

    2. Brett L   11 years ago

      Who was the guy who made up all the Seal Team Six stuff that had rebrand it as “based on historical events” in the late 90s? That kind of quiet professionalism?

      1. Steve G   11 years ago

        You talking about Marcinko?

      2. Pope Jimbo   11 years ago

        Richard Marcinko?

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Marcinko

  17. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

    Finally, Malaysia is safe for cross-dressers

    http://www.stuff.co.nz/world/a…..g-ban.html

  18. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Russian Lawmaker Proposes Mailing Putin Sperm to Impregnate Russian Women

    The Russian-language newspaper, Trust, is reporting that an actual lawmaker?albeit one with a history of strange ideas?has introduced to the State Duma a bill that proposes extending the greatness of Russian by having children using the sperm of Vladimir Putin. To the best of our research, the Observer is the first to translate this strange proposal into English.

    “The essence of my proposition is simple”, says the Chairwoman Of Parliamentary Commission on Women’s affairs, Children and Family, Yelena Borisovna Mizoulina. “Each female citizen of Russia will be able to receive by mail the genetic material of the President, get pregnant from him and have a baby. These mothers will be receiving special allowances from the government.”

    1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      That headline is poorly written. It sounds like the mailing is going to the president.

      1. Free Society   11 years ago

        I’ve been mailing Putin my sperm for years. I haven’t received so much as a “thank you” etched in radioactive polonium.

    2. hamilton   11 years ago

      It certainly seems more efficient than the Blue Dress model that we tried here.

      1. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

        +1 Cigar

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      Where’s the fun in that?

    4. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

      This is simply a plot to sap and impurify all of Putin’s precious bodily fluids.

      1. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

        +1 Purity of Essence

      2. Tonio   11 years ago

        Dammit. Have to read down before posting.

    5. Tonio   11 years ago

      “The essence of my proposition is simple.” Hilarious.

      You know who else denied women his essence?

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        Tonio?

        [ducking]

        1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

          *ironic applause*

        2. Tonio   11 years ago

          Oh, that’s a good one, Ted.

      2. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

        jesse.

  19. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Star Wars: Episode VII has been given a new title… The Force Awakens

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..akens.html
    I’ll wait for it on Netflix.

    1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

      To be followed by Episode VIII: The Force Has Morning Wood

      1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

        To be followed by Episode IX: The Force Has To Sit Down To Pee

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

          Episode X: The Force and Cialis, A Cautionary Tale

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

            Revised:

            Episode X: The Force and Cialis, Four Hours Later

            1. Slammer   11 years ago

              Rejected titles

              I like this one: Chronicles of That Fat Goatee Rebel Pilot Guy From Episode IV

            2. gaijin   11 years ago

              Is that a light saber in your pocket or are you just ready?

            3. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

              Episode XI: The Wife Has a Headache and The Force Has to Han Solo

              1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

                I…you, just….

              2. trshmnster the terrible   11 years ago

                Great, now all the people on the train are looking at me funny.

  20. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

    AM Links Shameless Self-Promotion Shadowdemon is available for pre-order as an eBook.

    I can’t run a pre-order on the paperback edition, and will aim for a release date as close to the eBook release date as possible.

    Also, the first book will go on discount for the first week of availability of the new release.

    /end shameless self-promotion.

    1. gaijin   11 years ago

      ^nice. No mean feat to do this

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        Thanks.

        You know what surprised me – no one claimed the ‘hardcopy for an honest review’ offer from the first book.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

          I’ll eventually work to getting a copy. Anyone who goes through this kind of work deserves it.

        2. EDG reppin' LBC   11 years ago

          Sorry I’ve never written a review. I enjoyed the book, though. I’ll re-read it over the weekend and try to put up a review. I’m pretty lazy.

          1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

            Well, if you’re interested, the sequel’s coming out soon. I hear it’s available for preorder

            /end plug.

            1. EDG reppin' LBC   11 years ago

              I’m on it. 😉

  21. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    Dozens of Russian tanks and military vehicles have crossed the border into Ukraine.

    Putin on the Blitz.

    1. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

      Thanks, now that song is stuck in my head.

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        Did you know the original lyrics were about the hired (black) help dressing up in Harlem on their night off? If memory serves, the lyrics were only changed when the song was re-used in about 1946 for the movie Blue Skies which has the famous Fred Astaire dance number.

        Gary Cooper wasn’t famous enough in 1930 when the song was originally written.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

          Ted. Stop harassing the guests with your Cliff Claven imitation.

          1. Ted S.   11 years ago

            They. Call. Me. MISTER Claven!

        2. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

          No, I didn’t know that. I was thinking of the cheesy 80s song, not the earlier version.

      2. Crusty Juggler   11 years ago

        If you want to get a song stuck in your head

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

          NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

          Damn you, damn you to hell!

          1. Ted S.   11 years ago

            This is why I have Youtube videos set not to autoplay.

            Try this song instead.

    2. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

      *narrows gaze*

    3. BardMetal   11 years ago

      Nice

    4. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      You should write headlines for the Post.

  22. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Is the future of flight? Concept images reveal how we’ll glide across the sky in electric aeroplanes by 2050

    Aircraft will likely be electric by 2050, with biofuels used in the meantime
    Aeroplanes will probably have innovatively-shaped bodies because they won’t have to accommodate traditional propulsion systems
    They will have smarter, smaller computers on board, which by 2045 will surpass the brainpower equivalent to all human brains combined
    Radical innovation is necessary because air traffic is set to increase by seven fold by 2050 and greenhouse gas emissions by four fold

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sci…..-2050.html
    derp

    1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      The airframe shape isn’t there to “accomodate the propulsion system” it’s there for aerodynamic form and load-bearing capacity.

      Also, the energy bearing capacity of batteries, even those on the edge of current development, is insufficient to bear a jetliner aloft for a transatlantic flight.

      1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

        STOP BRINGING IN REALISM TO HARSH HIS FUTURIST MELLOW!

        1. Clich? Bandit   11 years ago

          nothing beats long carbon chains

          1. Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)   11 years ago

            Longer carbon chains?

            Atomic Fission/Fusion?

    2. kinnath   11 years ago

      Utter bullshit. How does this crap get published?

      1. db   11 years ago

        Um…Daily Mail.

        1. kinnath   11 years ago

          This is bad, even for the daily fail.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      Biofuels? The author is about ten years behind the eco-times.

    4. Free Society   11 years ago

      Aircraft will likely be electric by 2050, with biofuels used in the meantime

      Ummmm, they’ll use actual fuel in the meantime, since we’re living in the fucking meantime right now I know this for a fact.

    5. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Exhibit #754815872875047528 of how any nonsense will be given a respectful hearing in the media if it’s presented as being “green”.

    6. Zeb   11 years ago

      Even supposing electric energy storage gets good enough for large electric planes to work at all, how fast could they possibly go? Might as well just go back to Zeppelin style airships. What a stupid article.

  23. Rich   11 years ago

    Woman wakes up to find burglar eating cookie dough from her fridge

    “The suspect told police he believed it to be his aunt’s house and he was hungry,” Lt. James Espinoza said.

    Right. “The suspect told police he believed it to be his girlfriend’s house and he was horny.”

    1. lap83   11 years ago

      so eating cookie dough from her fridge was a euphemism?

  24. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Florida charity worker man, 90, defies police orders as he continues to hand out food to homeless

    Arnold Abott, 90, was charged for handing out food along with two other ministers
    Each faces 60 days in jail and a $500 fine
    Wednesdy Abbott and others served a four-course meal by the beach as a crowd of nearly 100 mostly homeless and volunteers cheered their arrival

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..erred.html
    Those cops must be so proud of themselves.

    1. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

      Someone on my Derpbook posted this, and whined about how our “capitalistic policies” are responsible.

      As always, I kept my mouth shut to protect my progressive network from learning about its own idiocy.

      1. Raven Nation   11 years ago

        That’s one of the beauties about being a progressive in modern America. Every problem is caused by capitalism and can be solved by the redistribution of money.

        I have to hold my laughs in every time a progressive describes conservatives and libertarians as having “simplistic” solutions.

      2. Brett L   11 years ago

        A friend and I started several fights by pointing out that the duly elected representatives of the people of Palm Beach told the police to do this.

        1. Brett L   11 years ago

          Or wherever this is.

          1. Idle Hands   11 years ago

            It’s something, there trigger fingers were itching and it was something to do.

      3. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        What are ‘capitalist policies’ exactly?

        1. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

          Anything that is not 100% communist?

        2. sarcasmic   11 years ago

          What are ‘capitalist policies’ exactly?

          Letting the rich keep their own money! It’s not fair! Inequality! The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer! Not taking is giving and not giving is taking! These people are homeless only because the rich are hoarding cash that the government could use to help the poor! Capitalism is a race to the bottom!

        3. Zeb   11 years ago

          I can imagine what they might think “capitalist policies” are. Probably mostly cronyism. I can’t imagine how they figure it has anything to do with arresting people for feeding homeless in a park.

          1. cavalier973   11 years ago

            Big Restaurant did not want competition from people offering free meals to people that Big Restaurant will not allow on its premises.

    2. BardMetal   11 years ago

      Much like the Gestapo they don’t make the laws they only enforce them, no matter how twisted and morally disgusting they are.

    3. bassjoe   11 years ago

      What the hell is wrong with feeding the homeless in public? The cruelty of this law is shocking.

      1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

        They’re trying to get the homeless people to leave the city.

        They ban people from leaving their belongings unattended, outlaw panhandling at medians and strengthen defecation and urination laws, according to Michael Stoops, director of community organizing for the National Coalition for the Homeless.

        ‘I’ve never seen a city pass so many laws in such a short period of time,’ said Stoops, who testified at a City Council hearing on the issue.

        Homeless people are icky. They’ve got to go.

        1. cavalier973   11 years ago

          Read “The Time Traveler’s Guide to Elizabethan England”. The National government passed laws criminalizing harboring poor people in one’s home. When you turned out your tenants to avoid getting arrested and fined, they got arrested for vagrancy. Early in Liz’s reign, poor people basically had a choice of death by hanging or death by starvation.

        2. SForza   11 years ago

          I think it’s time to turn the Everglades into a national park for homeless people.

    4. Steve G   11 years ago

      Someone posted that idiotic (and debunked) photo/quote of Jimmy Carter about using tax dollars to help the poor in a christian nation a few days ago and I immediately thought of this story. I guess if you shut down the charities by force, you have no choice but to use tax dollars to help the poor. Proggie logic 101

  25. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    ‘Nice t**s!’ How Robert Downey Jr greeted Lorraine Kelly when he sat down for a TV interview

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..rview.html
    Classy.

    1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

      Well, they appear to be so.

    2. Pope Jimbo   11 years ago

      She was english. What was he supposed to say? Nice smile?

    3. JEP   11 years ago

      He wanted to make sure people knew that white guys catcall, too.

    4. C. Anacreon   11 years ago

      Have no doubt, this woman considers this to be one of the highlights of her career. Look for a full chapter dedicated to it in her memoirs.

    5. Juice   11 years ago

      Oh, but Mel Gibson is the asshole.

      /yes

  26. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    The rock star who snorted a line of cocaine 7 miles long! In an eye-popping new memoir, Fleetwood Mac’s leader reveals the true epic scale of their debauchery…

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..chery.html

    Working on the premise he had taken an eighth of an ounce every day for 20 years, the sound engineer calculated that if you laid out the drug in a single snortable line, it would stretch for seven miles.

    And eighth of an ounce a day? Holy shit!

    1. Zeb   11 years ago

      Well, he is a pretty large guy. And that’s probably not even that huge of an amount for a hard partying rock star.

  27. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Kate Beckinsale displays cleavage in a plunging keyhole cut-out dress and wears a glamorous gold choker at an event in LA

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..nt-LA.html
    dang

    1. Idle Hands   11 years ago

      Smoke show.

    2. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

      Why, her appearance is quite pleasing!

      1. Steve G   11 years ago

        Rape! …unless of course you’re attractive

        1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

          *preens*

    3. Free Society   11 years ago

      I really hate high heels.

      1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

        Don’t wear them then

        1. Free Society   11 years ago

          Don’t tell me what to do!

      2. sarcasmic   11 years ago

        I wasn’t looking at her shoes.

        1. Free Society   11 years ago

          I was looking at her legs, which look better without heels.

  28. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Pro-life students file civil lawsuit against UCSB feminist studies professor

    In August, Miller-Young was sentenced to community service, anger-management classes, and $493 in restitution to the teen she assaulted.

    On March 4, Miller-Young ? whose academic focus is on black cultural studies, pornography and sex work ? came across a group of pro-life students with graphic anti-abortion signs and essentially became frenzied by the exhibit, leading a small mob of students to chant “tear down the sign” before she and two other students stormed off with one of the displays.

    The scholar, who was pregnant at the time, then engaged in an altercation with a teenage prolife protester who had followed the educator to retrieve it. Much of the scuffle was caught on camera, and it left visible scratches on the young girl’s arms.

    1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

      She’s going to be utterly baffled when the court rules that her defense of “but your honor, I was tirggered! Think of the plaintiff’s white privilege!” is rejected by the judge.

      1. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

        You never know, man. It’s California we’re talking about.

    2. BardMetal   11 years ago

      “On March 4, Miller-Young ? whose academic focus is on black cultural studies, pornography and sex work”

      We live in world where these are somehow considered serious fields of studies in academia. Where students spend thousands of dollars taking classes in, and some majoring in these fields…

      Yet another reason why I drink.

      1. Doctor Whom   11 years ago

        But people have told me in seriousness that physics and computer science aren’t.

        1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

          Wait, what?

        2. Bill Dalasio   11 years ago

          And the people who have told you this are employed…..

          1. cavalier973   11 years ago

            …by academia or government.

      2. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

        And the resulting student unemployment and underemployment can be solved by…. throwing MOAR MUNY so that students can study things like these.

        And it is the fault of teathuglican conservative libertarian right-wing f***tars that the progressives can’t spend MOAR MUNY on EJUKAYSHUN.

      3. bassjoe   11 years ago

        Eh, there’s a benefit to people studying these things.

        The “sex work” one, in particular, has importance to a libertarian issue: the criminalization of sex for money between consenting adults. Criminalization has led to all sorts of problems which should be studied and used as support to decriminalize.

        Though I don’t think this is the right person to lead these studies.

        1. Free Society   11 years ago

          “Prostitution should be illegal because… patriarchy!”

      4. Zeb   11 years ago

        I think they are legitimate fields of study. The problem is that throwing tons of money at higher education generally leads to there being far too many people studying such things.

    3. Tonio   11 years ago

      FTFA: In August, Miller-Young was sentenced to community service, anger-management classes, and $493 in restitution to the teen she assaulted.

      I had heard she was convicted, but had been curious about the sentence.

      1. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

        I am curious to know if she had any remorse at all for her behavior, or she is still defiant in her assault of another person’s 1st amendment rights in a so-called “free speech zone” on campus.

        1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

          None whatsoever, she’s even made statements to the effect that her actions were “Moral” and “Set a good example”.

          1. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

            If I was the judge and saw a lack of remorse, I would have hit her hard on the sentence. Abusing someone else’s freedom and being proud of it is awful.

          2. Tonio   11 years ago

            Which is interesting. Judges usually don’t take well to that sort of defiance. Of course the judge may be sympathetic to her, and not wanted to make her a martyr.

    4. Free Society   11 years ago

      From a related article:

      “She was at the stage of a pregnancy when one is not fully one’s self fully, so the image of a severed fetus appeared threatening,” Eileen Boris, a UCSB history and black studies professor, wrote to the judge, according to papers filed with the court. “If she appears smiling on camera ? she is ‘wearing the mask,’ that is, she is hiding her actual state through a strategy of self-presentation that is a cultural legacy of slavery.”

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        Shorter EB: “Bullshitbullshit,utterbullshit.”

      2. Zeb   11 years ago

        People can get weird and overemotional when pregnant. Maybe the thing to do in that case is go home and have a rest, not assault someone.

        1. Free Society   11 years ago

          People can get weird and overemotional when pregnant. Maybe the thing to do in that case is go home and have a rest, not assault someone.

          Well you see, she understandably assaulted someone because of the cultural legacy of slavery…[insert moral relativism].

  29. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Election Leaves Immigration Advocates Frustrated With Obama

    As of next year, the Senate will be controlled by Republicans, as will the House. The fact that the Senate flipped to Republicans wasn’t necessarily surprising to advocates, but it was a frustrating reminder of the president’s decision to delay executive action on immigration. That move was meant to protect vulnerable red-state Democrats like Hagan, but most of them either lost anyway or are poised to lose. In Colorado, executive action could have boosted enthusiasm from Latino voters to the benefit of Udall. Instead, he lost to Republican Cory Gardner, whose immigration stances are far more conservative. The only tangible effect of the delay may have been the deportation of thousands of people who could have been helped by executive action.

    “There was a political miscalculation from the administration that delaying executive action would help them save the Senate,” Lorella Praeli, advocacy director for the Dreamer advocacy group United We Dream, said at the watch party.

  30. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Poll: 39% of Democrats Want Obama to Run for a Third Term

    A new Economist/YouGov poll that was conducted just before the elections certainly showed that overall a large number of respondents are unhappy with Obama, but there was also a large number of Democrats who thought that Obama was so great that he deserves a third term.

    The poll found that 39 percent of the Democrats surveyed wished that the 22nd Amendment that holds a president to only two terms didn’t exist so that Obama could run for a third term.

    The number grows even higher with African-American respondents. Sixty-four percent said they’d love to see Obama get a third term.

    1. hamilton   11 years ago

      To be fair, George W. Bush got four terms.

    2. db   11 years ago

      Wow, that is some epic delusion.

    3. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

      Thank goodness for the FDR… er… 22nd amendment.

    4. Idle Hands   11 years ago

      They said the same things about Clinton and he was far more popular.

      1. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

        The contrast in the sense of honor between the founding generation, when George Washington stepped down on his own accord after two terms, versus the modern sh!tb*g presidents is confounding.

        1. Idle Hands   11 years ago

          George Washington wasn’t a politician.

          1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

            This is why we need sortition to pick the candidates. Just select five jury-eligable people at random to be candidates from any given district and run a series of interviews so the electorate can find out their policy opinions.

            1. Idle Hands   11 years ago

              I could stand behind the phone book electorate.

            2. antisocial-ist   11 years ago

              I think its time to go back to strange women handing out cutlery.

              1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

                Who decides whose cutlery bears the weight of authority?

                1. antisocial-ist   11 years ago

                  The biggest penetrating weapon wins because patriarchy,duh.

                  1. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

                    A vote for Warty!

      2. Tonio   11 years ago

        There was also similar talk during Reagan’s second term before it was widely known he was senile.

    5. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

      They sure do crave a jefe, don’t they? That number is staggering when coupled with the open incompetence and dishonesty of this president. Ye gods.

      1. Zeb   11 years ago

        That number is staggering when coupled with the open incompetence and dishonesty of this president.

        That is the part that just confuses me. Yeah, Democrat partisans are going to support him no matter what. But by any reasonable standard (and not just from a nutty libertarian perspective) he is pretty unremarkable in his skills as a leader.

  31. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    4 toxic myths about “what women want,” debunked

    Myth #1: Women would love cat-calling if it was a handsome man doing it.

    Myth #2: Women are pre-programmed to seek “high status” men.

    Myth #3: Women live for men’s opinion, and therefore unsolicited comments and criticisms are welcome

    Myth #4: Women all think alike.

    More Marcotte/Salon goodness in the link

    1. waffles   11 years ago

      Doesn’t #4 contradict 1-3? If all women dislike catcalling and unsolicited comments then all women are alike. It’s probably not worth thinking about.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

        It’s probably not worth thinking about.

        The author of that article certainly didn’t think about it.

      2. Idle Hands   11 years ago

        It’s a shield to dismiss criticism from other rape apologizing women.

      3. BardMetal   11 years ago

        Got love a huge obvious contradiction on the front page, that author just fails to notice.

        I’m sure in a mind that only feels, but doesn’t think it makes perfect sense.

      4. Doctor Whom   11 years ago

        Stop othering her with that tool of the patriarchy known as logic.

      5. Ted S.   11 years ago

        And if you think like Sarah Palin or Margaret Thatcher instead of like Amanda Marcotte, you’re not a real woman.

      6. lap83   11 years ago

        Yup. Some women respond to cat-callers, which is why it’s worth it for the men to do it, on the off chance that a given woman will pay attention to him. If it never worked, it would be less common. Cat calling is merely an aggressive sales tactic. Like a door-to-door salesman or a loud mall kiosk vendor. It’s annoying to most people, but it continues because it works some of the time.

        1. Zeb   11 years ago

          Do they? I always figured it was more of a male bonding thing. I’m having a hard time imagining a woman stopping after being whistled at on the street or something and saying “I want to spend more time with that guy”. Maybe I have led too sheltered an existence.

          1. Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)   11 years ago

            Go to the Jersey shore sometime.

    2. This Machine Implies Consent   11 years ago

      You’re a goddamn lunatic if you think I’m clicking on that brain poison.

    3. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

      I get cat-called by men of all levels of good looks, and it always makes me feel icky no matter who is doing it.

      Video, or it didn’t happen.

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        By their definition, being asked by a waiter if they want anything to drink counts.

      2. lap83   11 years ago

        Self-conscious I can see. Icky is just her politics talking.

    4. Free Society   11 years ago

      Marcotte is one of those feminists whose picture is just a trigger for my rage. Really, look at her face and tell me that you don’t immediately think “self-righteous bitch”.

      1. Free Society   11 years ago

        Look at it!

    5. Zeb   11 years ago

      Who believes any of those things? Even PUA dickheads have more subtle ideas about women than that.

    6. Juice   11 years ago

      Myth #2: Women are pre-programmed to seek “high status” men.

      This isn’t a myth. This is scientific fact.

  32. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Midterm disaster rips apart awkward ties between Obama and Senate Democrats

    “The president’s approval rating is barely 40 percent,” Krone said. “What else more is there to say?”

    It was an unusual breach of Washington decorum that stunned a political community used to the shadowy “background” comments from “senior administration officials” or “senior Senate aides.” In general, staffers do not say such things on the record about a sitting president, especially from the same party.

    Krone’s move wasn’t some rogue operation of a staffer gone wild. He is a close and loyal aide to Reid, having met him years ago when he ? Krone ? was a telecommunications lobbyist and executive. He’s the rare senior congressional staffer who did the reverse move in the revolving door ? he made his millions on the outside, including a stint with Comcast, and then went into the public sector to work for Reid.

    1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

      I have an idea. Work with the Republicans to undo the damage. Then you can pitch some Fourth Wave or some other name for socialism next time around.

  33. Slammer   11 years ago

    Former Charlotte Mayor Patrick Cannon gets house arrest after illegal vote

    A federal judge put former Charlotte mayor and convicted felon Patrick Cannon under house arrest Thursday rather than sending him immediately to jail for casting an illegal ballot last week.

    Cannon will be on home detention with electronic monitoring until Nov. 18, when he is scheduled to report to a West Virginia prison to begin a 44-month sentence for accepting bribes in an FBI sting.

    Felons lose their right to vote, and North Carolina law considers it a new felony when they cast ballots anyway. By breaking the law, Cannon violated the terms of his bond and was subject to immediate incarceration.

    U.S. District Judge Frank Whitney stopped short of that. Three weeks after he sentenced Cannon to prison, the judge chastised the 47-year-old Democrat for “causing further pain for our community.”

    1. robc   11 years ago

      But Bo says the voter fraud thing is a myth.

      How can this be?

  34. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Man caught driving with 3-day-old calf in his backseat; he’s arrested

    Cesar Zamora Santana, 31, was standing outside his car in Riverside when police approached and spotted the 70-pound calf.

    Santana told police he had purchased the female calf at a gas station for $200, Riverside police Officer Cheryl Hayes said.

    But when officers inspected the Jersey calf, they found that its identification tags had been “forcefully” removed from its ears.

    Was the calf blind?

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      He was taken into custody on suspicion of possessing a calf without proper documentation

      Three felonies a day.

      1. Zeb   11 years ago

        I can’t get worked up about this one. He had an outstanding warrant (for a stupid non-crime, but still) and cattle theft is something that happens. A calf in some guy’s car is probably reasonable for a cop to look into and they have to do something with it when they arrest the guy.

  35. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Hug Life: Four Days in a Hello Kitty Convention Tattoo Parlor

    The Geffen plaza was completely deserted when they arrived, so the pair had time to grab coffee and return to take the first place in line, but only just enough?minutes after they returned, a few more shrewd faithfuls showed up to queue behind them. Six hours later, in the bright, summer-hot sun, the line would stretch around the block, but only the first 50 or so would be rewarded. Their dedication would earn them with a free tattoo, designed by artists set up for the weekend at HK Ink, a small pop-up shop at the heart of the warehouse space where only the most hard-core fans visiting the inaugural Hello Kitty Convention would be inked on a first-come, first-served basis.

    1. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

      A Hello Kitty tattoo? That’s an excellent idea. I think I will get one soon.

      1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

        So you’re going for a Kinderwhore of Counsel look

        1. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

          Yes, that’s totally it.

  36. Rich   11 years ago

    A destructive “Trojan Horse” malware program has penetrated the software that runs much of the nation’s critical infrastructure and is poised to cause an economic catastrophe, according to the Department of Homeland Security.

    YA reason to abolish the DHS.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      So they know about it now. Eliminating it shouldn’t take that long. The crisis is mostly over at this point.

      1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

        Post hoc rationalization/fear mongering to justify their existence.

      2. hamilton   11 years ago

        More to the point, the only reason they’d actually put our a press release on this is if they wanted to (a) take credit for saving us all from some random thing or (b) justify the next mind-numbingly stupid piece of surveillance and/or fear-generation technology in their plan.

        1. Rich   11 years ago

          My money’s on (b).

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

            Probably so, is it budget approval time?

  37. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    President Impervious

    The Age of Obama may be over, but his presidency continues, alas. It’s pointless to engage in debates about whether he’s still “relevant.” He’s the president. That’s always relevant. From extraconstitutional power plays on immigration to na?ve and dangerous nuclear negotiations with Iran, his influence remains in very important ways.

    It’s clear, though, that the Obama project has failed. He sought to alter the political trajectory of the country, to put it on a “fundamentally different path,” as Ronald Reagan had, to “restore faith in government,” and to “make government cool again.” It didn’t work, thanks to a series of scandals and six years of policy failures.

    A few exit polls from last week make this clear. Nearly six years after the Obama administration’s $1 trillion stimulus, 22 percent of the electorate rate the current economy “poor” and 48 percent say “not so good.” Only 28 percent say the economy is “good,” and just 1 percent believe it’s “excellent.”

    one percent? I would have guessed 8%

    1. waffles   11 years ago

      Lol! Nuke them all and let G-d sort them out!

    2. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

      White on white translucent black capes
      Back on the rack

      Barack Obama’s dead
      The bats have left the bell tower
      The victims have been bled
      Red velvet lines the black box

      Barack Obama’s dead
      Barack Obama’s dead
      Undead undead undead
      Undead undead undead
      Barack Obama’s dead

      The virginal brides file past his tomb
      Strewn with time’s dead flowers
      Bereft in deathly bloom
      Alone in a darkened room
      The count

      Barack Obama’s dead
      Barack Obama’s dead
      Barack Obama’s dead
      Undead undead undead
      Undead undead undead
      Undead undead undead
      Undead undead undead
      Undead undead undead
      Undead undead undead
      Undead undead undead
      Undead undead undead
      Undead undead undead

      Undead undead undead
      Undead undead undead
      Undead undead undead

      1. Slammer   11 years ago

        +1 Peter Murphy

    3. gaijin   11 years ago

      President Imperious!

    4. Rich   11 years ago

      Only 28 percent say the economy is “good,” and just 1 percent believe it’s “excellent.”

      I suspect that 1 percent was sarcastic, drunk, or both.

      1. Idle Hands   11 years ago

        Going through life sarcastic and drunk seems like fun, unfortunately it leads to many beatings.

    5. Mike M.   11 years ago

      It’s clear, though, that the Obama project has failed. He sought to alter the political trajectory of the country, to put it on a “fundamentally different path,” as Ronald Reagan had, to “restore faith in government,” and to “make government cool again.” It didn’t work, thanks to a series of scandals and six years of policy failures.

      Au contraire. His policies may have been disastrous to the short-term fortunes of his party, but that’s not what this guy cares about most.

      He has been wildly successful in his goal of inflicting massive damage on the country that he hates more than almost any other. And he is in fact still the president, and he’s not done yet. There’s a lot more damage to inflict on us before it’s all said and done, and that’s exactly what he’s going to do.

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        Look. He got elected twice.

        He managed to ram through Obamacare without a single GOP vote. (If you won’t bipartisan this is what you get!).

        He killed Osama. The economy is ‘better’. Foreign policy has been reset. Things are great!

        Imagine if the GOP would have cooperated!

        There’s your narrative.

        1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

          I’ve seen that narrative a lot over the last couple of days. Pretty much exactly.

          1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

            It’s pretty laughable. He’s so mighty that he can’t swing a few GOP votes? Other presidents have done that. On the other side, Reagan, for instance, found ways to force or persuade Democrats to vote on his legislation.

  38. Mitch Connor   11 years ago

    Ahhh….Back into The Closet with all of yas!!!

  39. waffles   11 years ago

    A good jobs reports! Labor participation rate up! Unemployment? Down!

    Looks like things are going swimmingly for workers in the U S of A.

  40. Slammer   11 years ago

    Charges dropped for AC/DC drummer

    Tauranga Crown Solicitor Greg Hollister-Jones “made the decision that there was insufficient evidence to proceed with the charge of attempting to procure a murder,” the prosecution office told the Los Angeles Times in a statement issued Friday afternoon, New Zealand time.

  41. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    WH Press LOLs at Earnest’s Refusal to Admit Dems ‘Lost’ – Or That Losing Is ‘Bad’

    At that point the reporters became indignant. The AP’s Julie Pace remarked with disbelief, “But Josh, you lost seats.”

    Ellen Ratner from Fox News asked, “You’re saying it could be good for Democrats?”

    “Well, no, that’s not what I’m saying,” Earnest responded, and the room burst into laughter. “I’m saying I’m not going to pass judgment on the?”

    Ratner: “You can say it’s good for Republicans, but you can’t pass judgment on whether it’s good or bad for Democrats?” and everyone laughed again.

    1. waffles   11 years ago

      Working for Obama means never having to admit defeat.

    2. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

      That is …. pathetic? Crushingly bad? Embarrassing?

    3. Slammer   11 years ago

      He’s paid to go out there and pull a total Baghdad Bob/2+2=5. Obumbles certainly ain’t going to show up to get his ass laughed at daily.

      1. db   11 years ago

        My math brain got stuck on your comment and I came to the conclusion that Baghdad Bob = 6.

        1. waffles   11 years ago

          He’s missing parentheses. Baghdad Bob = 20.

          1. Slammer   11 years ago

            Stop microaggressing my math skills

        2. DK   11 years ago

          Obviously, Slammer is being hyperbolic, as the equation represents a hyperbola:
          Baghdad x Bob / 2 + 2 = 5
          =? Baghdad = 6 / Bob

          1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

            (a^2)gh(d^2) = 6 / ob

    4. BiMonSciFiCon   11 years ago

      I suppose it’s progress that they’re laughing at him.

  42. trshmnster the terrible   11 years ago

    I think we need to poll the millennials on the merits of this.

  43. The DerpRider   11 years ago

    Why does Facebook include the option to X out of things (I Voted!, Ebola), but make the X non functioning? That really grinds my gears.

  44. Slammer   11 years ago

    The real Philip Marlowe?

    Pretty cool if true.

  45. CampingInYourPark   11 years ago

    WASHINGTON (AP) ? Senate Democrats’ campaign committee on Thursday began canceling plans for television ads in Louisiana’s major markets to help Sen. Mary Landrieu’s runoff campaign against Republican Bill Cassidy”

    http://news.yahoo.com/senate-d…..ction.html

  46. Officer Jim Lahey   11 years ago

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..ed-killed/

    Are there exceptions to the 8th amendment the way there seem to be exceptions to all others?

    1. Juice   11 years ago

      Jesus Fucking Christ

  47. Riesen   11 years ago

    New video footage shows Utah kid wasn’t threatening cops with sword when we was gunned down

    1. Free Society   11 years ago

      FOX 13 News reached out to the Saratoga Springs Police Chief, who said he had not seen the surveillance video and would not comment until he had watched it.

      If ever there was any doubt, that cops get more than their fair share of deference for just about anything they do.

    2. Steve G   11 years ago

      Saratoga Springs…why does that sound familiar? Oh yeah, where the republican Obama is/was mayor…

  48. Homple   11 years ago

    The Judiciary giveth, the Judiciary taketh away.

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