White House Sustains Cyberattack, Scientists Find Extreme-Violence Genes, Supreme Court Stays Missouri Execution: A.M. Links

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  • NASA TV

    The White House's unclassified computer network was recently hit by a sustained cyberattack which may be the work of Russian government hackers. "Network outages are not uncommon in the White House," the Huffington Post notes, but this one—lasting at least two weeks—was significant in its duration and strength.

  • The makers of an unmanned, NASA-commissioned rocket that exploded over eastern Virginia yesterday are vowing to find the root cause of the explosion before flying again. 
  • Late Tuesday night, the U.S. Supreme Court halted the execution of Mark Christeson, a Missouri man scheduled to die by injection at 12:01 a.m. Wednesday.
  • Scientists link two genes to "extremely violent behavior." 
  • Kaci Hickox, the nurse quarantined at her Maine home after returning from West Africa, told Good Morning America via Skype that she'll "go to court to attain (her) freedom." And a Connecticut dad is suing after his third-grade daughter was told to stay home from school over Ebola fears. 
  • The North Dakota Supreme Cout has upheld a state law restricting the use abortion-inducing drugs.
  • Ferguson Police Chief Tom Jackson denied rumors that he is resigning.

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  1. Network outages are not uncommon in the White House…

    Or HHS.

    1. Or the IRS.

    2. Hello.

      Boring links. Where’s the beef?

      1. Exploding rockets & Russian cyberattackers are boring?

        1. I do wish I’d known about this Koala clap cure before posting… http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..trial.html

          1. Thanks for that. There goes my Koala Kondom business, before it even starts…

            1. Got a ‘lol’ on that one. It was the extra detail you put into “K”

              1. I had an extensive business plan 🙁

                1. What can you expect? Any business predicated on Australian fauna is almost guaranteed to go down under.

          2. Chlamydia, also known as ‘wet bottom’ or ‘dirty tail’…

            Uh-huh.

            See, this is the sort of material I depend on reason to bring to me.

          3. Lydia, oh Lydia, do you have chlamydia?

        2. He’s Canadian. He knows boring.

          1. We all have to work to our strengths!

          2. Doh!

        3. He thinks you need to mention Canada in every links post.

          1. Is it so hard to have a ‘And in Canada’ segment?

            1. Probably?

            2. And now the news for parrots: No parrots were injured today in a…

              1. Or…Gordie Howe suffers a stroke.

                http://bit.ly/1ryg9qD

                Howe could eat most hockey players today.

            3. Is it so hard to have a ‘And in Canada’ segment?

              Isn’t the Naked News canadian?

        4. Now you’re just making stuff up.

          1. That was to Elizabeth. Am I the only one who doesn’t like the way the ‘reply’ option works here?

            1. I’ve been away for a bit. Did we give up on the EDIT BUTTON and readability score jihads?

            2. I hate that the “reply to this” doesn’t have a placeholder before it loads, leading to one’s reply showing up a whole bunch of screens down from where the browser is displaying once the page loads completely.

              1. That’s what I mean.

      2. Boring links. Where’s the beef?

        [drops trousers]

  2. The makers of an unmanned, NASA-commissioned rocket that exploded over eastern Virginia yesterday are vowing to find the root cause of the explosion before flying again.

    What difference at this point does it make?

    1. Well, I think the root cause is rapid oxidation of fuel…

      1. This is why we need common-sense oxygen control legislation!

        1. Or single-payer phlogiston.

    2. NASA-commissioned rocket?

      Am I smelling private sector greed and cutting corners?

      If on the other hand, comrades, NASA had built the rocket itself with public dollars like the Soviets did, this would not have happened.

      1. The exploded engine was a soviet design.

        1. Ah, good, let’s import rocket engines from the people who designed Chernobyl.

  3. Scientists link two genes to “extremely violent behavior.”

    What have Wilder and Autry gotten themselves into now?

    1. Scientists link two genes to “extremely violent behavior.”

      And just in time for “New Eugenics”, too!

      1. Since it’s “New Eugenics” and not the “Old Meanie Eugenics” nothing bad will come of it.

        1. Neugenics?

          1. Sounds like a corporation name.

            1. Neugenics? Inc “Building a better electorate”

              1. Sounds like a lefty non-profit org.

    2. you can’t call it Mean Gene, because I think WWE’s got that TM’d.

    3. I would have thought Mean Gene Okerlund would have been one of them.

    4. Surprise all cops have the genes

    5. WTF, Reason?

      Scientists link two genes to “extremely violent behavior.”

      More like scientists link two genes to grant money;

      A strong relationship between behavior and either of the two genes was not present among non-violent offenders.

      If you’re violent, and have the genes, there’s a chance the genes might cause you to be violent. Geenious!

      “To call these alleles ‘genes for violence’ would therefore be a massive exaggeration,” Schnupp said. “In combination with many other factors these genes may make it a little harder for you to control violent urges, but they most emphatically do not predetermine you for a life of crime.”

      Reason is less ‘Reasonable’ than the original link?

  4. Not the crab cakes!

    Also, anyone else find it funny that they were launching crab cakes from the chesapeake?

    1. Why is it funny? Incinerated crab cakes are no laughing matter.

      1. It’s still probably better than when I try to cook them. 😀

        1. Just don’t be one of those people that uses J.O.

  5. vowing to find the root cause of the explosion before flying again.

    It’s like bizarro Armageddon.

    1. And begging your pardon sir but it’s a big-ass ground.

  6. The White House’s unclassified computer network was recently hit by a sustained cyberattack which may be the work of Russian government hackers.

    Just wait until they get into that Blackberry.

  7. Kim Jong Un Executes 10 Officials for Watching Soaps, Graft

    North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is seeking to erase the remaining influence of his dead uncle, executing about 10 senior Workers’ Party officials on charges from graft to watching South Korean soap operas, according to an aide to a South Korean lawmaker.

    The deaths by shooting are part of Kim’s latest round of purges, said Lim Dae Sung, a secretary to ruling Saenuri Party lawmaker Lee Cheol Woo who attended a briefing at the National Intelligence Service yesterday in Seoul. Kim had Jang Song Thaek, his uncle and de facto deputy, killed in December last year. Lee didn’t say when the executions took place, or who the officials were.

    1. Was Rodman reached for comment?

    2. “That cyst contained my mercy node”

    3. I hate North Korea horror stories. I really do. It’s the world’s longest ongoing genocide and it’s just tragic. True horror.

      1. It serves as a good counter example to nimrods like Jesse Myerson #fullcommunism.

      2. Meh, I highly doubt that the ten executed were nice guys or ordinary people framed. The best outcome for NorKo is the elites murdering each other down to the last man.

  8. High school student, 16, and his girlfriend suspended after posing with replica GUNS in bizarre images before homecoming

    Tito Velez and his girlfriend Jamie Pereira, both 16, met up before dance
    Donning formal attire, they picked up Airsoft guns and posed for picture
    The replica rifles may look deadly, but they can shoot only plastic bullets
    Following day, students were pulled out of school and quizzed by police
    Suspended from Bristol-Plymouth Regional Technical School in Taunton
    Officials set to hold a hearing as to when or whether the pair can return
    Comes days after teen shot five classmates in Washington, killing two

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..dance.html

    1. Comes days after teen shot five classmates in Washington, killing two

      ‘Cause they’re totally related!

    2. Why are the images bizarre?

      1. Gun totems for the animists.

      2. Teenagers should be taking nude selfish like good little kids, not holding evil guns!

        1. Selfies*

          Fuck this phone!

          1. If you’re fucking your phone, you’re typing with the wrong member.

        2. In some nude selfies, they are holding their guns.

      3. Because this was written by a limey.

      4. Why are the images bizarre?

        It’s not because of the guns. It’s the ‘Children of the Corn’ 100-yard stare of the cute couple.

    3. Thank God those suspension fields prevent irate students singled out by administrators from returning to wreak bloody vengeance. Could you imagine if they’d been stuck at school all day instead?

    4. Once upon a time in America, there was an 8-year old girl named Annie Oakley, who used to hunt with guns (OMG!) to feed her impoverished family.

      And now we have 25-year old children who are still on their parents’ insurance.

    5. Hey this was clearly and obviously a dangerous situation. Why one of their teachers could have seen those pictures and had a massive attack of the vapors and we just can’t have that.

      1. There’s no room in the budget for fainting couches, dammit!

  9. “Imprisoned “Pastafarian” Sues Nebraska Prison Officials; The Return of the Flying Spaghetti Monster…

    “In Cavanaugh’s federal civil rights lawsuit against Nebraska State Penitentiary prison officials and the Department of Corrections, he claims that he is a “Pastafarian,” who is being discriminated against and not allowed to practice his faith which centers around the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and includes practices such as wearing a colander on one’s head.”

    http://www.prisonlawblog.com/b…..BTcPnF9K0=

    1. Do Pastafarians do communion? “The noodles and sauce of FSM.”

  10. Man dressed as yellow Teletubbie enters friend’s house uninvited, takes Chinese food, police report

    Authorities said the costumed intruder, dressed as a character from the BBC children’s series, damaged a door about 2 a.m. at his buddy’s home Sunday in the 200 block of East Fourth Street. Police say the man went into the victim’s refrigerator and dumped Chinese food into a “man purse” before leaving.

    Bethlehem police say they caught up with the man, who was not named since he was not charged, and identified him as the alleged burglar. Authorities cleared the case without charges at the request of the victim, according to police.

    1. I knew teletubbies were evil!

    2. I can understand the purple one, maybe orange. But the yellow one!? That’s unexpected.

    3. I thought Tinky-Winky was the one with the purse.

      1. I thought teletubbies ate souls, not chinese.

  11. Halloween house show that involved 12,000 lights synchronized to pop hits is shut down by police for being a nuisance

    California dad Kevin Judd told his dramatic light show cannot continue

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..sance.html

    Judd has said he is not giving up and will seek a permit fro next year.

    The land of the free to ask permission and obey orders.

    1. Halloween house show that involved 12,000 lights synchronized to pop hits is shut down by police for being a nuisance

      Yet Dancing With The Stars remains on the air.

    2. Or respect others’ property. Sorry nuisance law ruins your narrative.

      1. So now waves of light violate the NAP?

        1. You don’t like laser weapons?

        2. If I put a spotlight in my yard and shine it into your front window across the street, am I violating the NAP?

          1. I dunno, are you? At what point does light pass from decoration to harassment? When the community decides? When the so-called aggrieved decides?

            1. No

              How so?

            2. [shines bright strobe lights into every one of Fluffy’s windows]

        3. You mean like X-ray lasers?

    3. I’m a fan of Slayer Bob’s work in this field.

  12. The real-life super heroes of San Diego: Comic-book inspired characters patrol the city’s streets in capes, masks and goggles to fight crime

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..crime.html
    Check out the gut on Mr Xtreme.

    1. Mr Xtreme focuses more on crime fighting than looking good,with an outfit that includes camouflage pants and a cape

      The cape is for covering his gut.

      1. Watch the documentary “Superheroes” it’s one of the funniest things I have ever watched.

      2. This story has inspired me.

  13. Koalas CURED of chlamydia after Australian scientists carry out successful vaccine trial

    Scientists have spent five years working on a vaccination for chlamydia
    Researchers have successfully trialled the vaccine after observing wild koalas in Brisbane
    Chlamydia, also known as ‘wet bottom’ or ‘dirty tail’, causes blindness and infertility in koalas
    The deadly infection is transmitted during birth and physical contact
    Koalas are currently listed as an endangered species in Australia

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..trial.html

    1. Looks like Koalas will be getting their grove on.

      If you think the SPV vaccine was a blizzard of stupidity, wait until they introduce the chlamydia vaccine. It will be a new record DERP.

      1. I can’t tell whether that’s a typical John typo or intentional pun.

        Was this your end-game all along?

        1. That was a typo. But it does work as a pun.

  14. Phil Collins brings the world’s largest private Alamo collection – including Jim Bowie’s legendary knife – ‘back home’ to Texas

    The singer has spent years amassing the what’s considered the world’s largest private collection of Alamo artifacts
    It includes a fringed leather pouch and gun used by Davy Crockett, Jim Bowie’s legendary knife and letters from commander William B. Travis
    ‘Texans are deeply indebted to Phil Collins,’ said Texas Land Commissioner Jerry Patterson
    Collins joked that he spent all the money he made from music on artifacts related to the 1836 battle

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..Texas.html

    1. Hey, at least he didn’t piss on the Alamo like Ozzy Osbourne did.

      1. In Ozzy’s defense he was really drunk.

    2. That’s pretty damn cool. I take back all the bad things I said about him over the years.

    3. Does Phil Collins suffer from ‘wet bottom’ or ‘dirty tail’?

    4. Well, that certainly puts him in a new light to me. For all the hype which the Alamo has been given, when you understand that any sober man who was there had to know it was suicide. And when you look at the backgrounds of a number of the people who were there – by choice – it really was an astounding gesture.

  15. Sex with 21 women lowers risk of prostate cancer, academics find

    Sleeping with more than 20 women protects men against prostate cancer, a study has suggested.

    Men who had slept with more than 20 women lowered their risk of developing cancer by almost one third, and were 19 per cent less likely to develop the most aggressive form.

    In contrast, men who slept with 20 men doubled their risk of developing prostate cancer compared with men who have never had sex with another man.

    Researchers at the University of Montreal believe that intercourse protects men, and men who are more promiscuous have more sex than those in monogamous relationships.

      1. Because the chances increase that one of the women will give you a prostate exam?

      2. Discharging testosterone, maybe?

        1. But why wouldn’t jerking off or having a lot of sex with fewer women do the same thing? What is so special about the number of women?

          1. Good point.

            Maybe they’ve got the correlation reversed and there’s something about having a really kick-ass prostate that leads guys to fuck lots of women.

            1. I think uncivil servant has the best suggestion. Men who bang a lot of women must have some trait that also makes them a bit resistant to this.

          2. Indeed. If it were purely hormonal, sexual drive should be the indicator, not promiscuity, except insofar as the latter can be a sign of the former. That would actually be a good follow-up study, assuming this even holds up under scrutiny. Or just look at testorone levels directly.

          3. Actually I think there was a study a few years that said jerking it often did lower your likelihood of getting prostate cancer.

            Given my father’s family’s history with prostate cancer, it helped me figure out who was a devoted onanist and who wasn’t.

      3. Mechanism? You say that like the correlation of statistics isn’t enough.

        1. It’s entirely possible that the same difference in biology that led to the behaviour of the individuals also causes the resistance to prostate cancer, and not the behaviour causing the resistance per-se.

          1. Yes. That is likely the case. If it were something about the act of sex that did it, men who had lots of sex would get the immunity regardless of how many women it was with.

            1. “Men who had slept with more than 20 women lowered their risk of developing cancer by almost one third”

              You call in prostate cancer prevention. I call it 2009

          2. This however will not stop me from telling my wife I am a couple of women short of the magic number and therefore my health and safety depends on getting there.

            1. Yeah, but what if she has grown tired of you? Then you’d answer the door one night and there would be 20+ guys waiting outside…

    1. All at once? Pass the Cialis!

    2. I guess dying alone isn’t as bad as dying of prostate cancer.

      1. every living creature on Earth dies alone

        1. Then there are those who care not about extraterrestrials, searching for meaning in other human beings. Rare or lucky are those who find it. For although we may not be alone in the universe, in our own separate ways on this planet, we are all… alone.

          — “The X-Files: Jose Chung’s From Outer Space

    3. men who are more promiscuous have more sex than those in monogamous relationships

      Really? Are they going out 3 times a week or more and getting laid? Can they really keep that up with any level of consistency?

      1. You must not have been married for very long, hmmm?

        3 times a week becomes 3 times a month becomes 3 times a quarter becomes 3 times.

    4. intercourse protects men

      But apparently only a vagin, because the prostate can somehow tell the difference? Gee, I’m a little skeptical of that.

      1. It’s more likely a hormonal difference that causes the behaviour and the difference in cancer risk.

        1. Or the study is bad.

    5. If the government doesn’t pay for this there’s a WAR ON MEN!!!111!!!

      1. Lol.

    6. So now saying no = denying access to health care?

        1. I will also be telling that to 20 other guys wives.

      1. hey baby, you don’t want me to get prostate cancer, do you?

        1. She probably does want you to get it. 🙁

    7. Why would you even think a connection would exist to have a study about in the first place?

  16. And a Connecticut dad is suing after his third-grade daughter was told to stay home from school over Ebola fears.

    “If you send my daughter home where I have to parent her all day she better damned well actually have Ebola!”

    1. It is his right to put the other children at risk of catching a deadly virus. His little snowflake’s feelings are more important than the other kids’ safety and health.

      What the hell is the matter with people? I am starting to think our society might be too stupid to live.

      1. I am starting to think our society might be too stupid to live.

        Starting to?

      2. The family did not travel to any of the three West African nations associated with the current Ebola outbreak – Guinea, Sierra Leone or Liberia. There have been no diagnosed cases of Ebola in Nigeria since Aug. 31, according to the lawsuit.

        And there were only 20 total. And Nigeria is bigger than Texas. This is just paranoia.

        1. Fair enough. I made the mistake of assuming the school was actually being reasonable. Not a good move on my part.

          1. Hopefully your faith in humanity has been restored 🙂

    2. If being forced to ‘parent’ a child all day seems beyond the pale then perhaps he shouldn’t have had children to begin with.

      1. Based on the names and the presence of close family in Nigeria, I’m going to make the assumption that the parents are immigrants. Education tends to be extremely highly valued among that cohort.

      2. It’s beyond the pale when you’ve already paid someone else to do it.

        1. It’s beyond the pale when you’ve already paid someone else to do it.

          You mean a private school? Oh, you mean when you allow the government to coerce your neighbors into paying for it at the point of a gun?

  17. Men can dress up as ‘fat women’ this Halloween, thanks to incredibly offensive costumes

    Available outfits include a ‘sexy fat cheerleader’ and ‘Tinker Belly’
    The disrespectful dress-up items can be bought from a number of popular online retailers including Amazon.com

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem…..oween.html

    1. How come Vampire-Americans don’t enjoy the same outrage this time of year?

    2. Men can also dress up as killers with hooks for hands.

      OTHERING THE DISABLED!

    3. Wait, are they saying fake fat women are not really sexy? Aren’t these guys just really dressing up as ‘beautiful plus-size sexy beauties’? Are they fake-fat shaming?

    4. I’m offended that this articles assumes these costumes offend me. Fuck off chicken littles.

  18. Now that’s a man’s best friend! Bandit the dog learns how to retrieve beer from the fridge on command

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..mmand.html

    1. without looking I am going to assume a dog named Bandit is a border collie.

      1. damn…wrong again.

        1. Aussie Cattle Dogs aren’t far behind them in the brains department.

          I thought it would’ve been a retriever. Though my old Lab would’ve tried to keep the beer for herself…

          1. I had a Newfie who found a case of beer in the garage once.

            I discovered this as he was biting open his sixth beer of the afternoon.

  19. Delightfully distracting! Julia Stiles stands out in boldly patterned purple blouse at Celebrity Charades event

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..event.html
    She was so hot when she was thin. Dang.

    1. Seriously, I was about 17 when 10 Things I Hate About You came out and thought she was one of the hottest girls out there.

      1. That’s because she was.

  20. The Crisis in U.S.-Israel Relations Is Officially Here

    The other day I was talking to a senior Obama administration official about the foreign leader who seems to frustrate the White House and the State Department the most. “The thing about Bibi is, he’s a chickenshit,” this official said, referring to the Israeli prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, by his nickname.

    This comment is representative of the gloves-off manner in which American and Israeli officials now talk about each other behind closed doors, and is yet another sign that relations between the Obama and Netanyahu governments have moved toward a full-blown crisis. The relationship between these two administrations? dual guarantors of the putatively “unbreakable” bond between the U.S. and Israel?is now the worst it’s ever been, and it stands to get significantly worse after the November midterm elections. By next year, the Obama administration may actually withdraw diplomatic cover for Israel at the United Nations, but even before that, both sides are expecting a showdown over Iran, should an agreement be reached about the future of its nuclear program.

    1. Bibi is a chickenshit. He is trying to get his big brother to fight his scary bully classmate for him.

      1. I bet you’re the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I’ll be watching you.

      2. Netanyahu joined the Israel Defense Forces during the Six-Day War in 1967, and became a team leader in the Sayeret Matkal special forces unit. He took part in many missions, including Operation Inferno (1968), Operation Gift (1968) and Operation Isotope (1972), during which he was shot in the shoulder. He fought on the front lines in the War of Attrition and the Yom Kippur War in 1973, taking part in special forces raids along the Suez Canal, and then leading a commando assault deep into Syrian territory.[3] He achieved the rank of captain before being discharged.

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin_Netanyahu

        yep – real chickenshit there.

        1. That pales in comparison to living off your rich grandparents and smoking dope and snorting cocaine while attending elite private schools. That is real chicken shit stuff compared to stealing hits off of other people’s joints.

            1. I am pretty sure Bush always paid for his own dope. Obama is the one who is the confirmed joint jonser.

            2. BOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHHHH

            3. Yes, exactly like Bush in his 3rd and 4th term.

            4. NEEDZ MOAR CHRISTFAG!

        2. He’s not a chickenshit so much as the Israeli John McCain. His solution to everything is to start a war so he can prove he’s scared of you.

          1. His solution to everything is to start a war

            Err, the war was started long ago and has never ended.

            So I’m not sure how he can “start” it.

    2. “Crisis” You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.

      Wake me when we’re actually at a conventional or nuclear stand-off with this country, then I’ll consider our relationship ‘strained’. We stop sucking each other off for a while and suddenly it’s a crisis.

    3. It’s obviously John Kerry.

      Like our pathetic troll Dave Weigel here, Kerry laughably likes to act like a tough guy, and he’s all butthurt because they told him to go fuck off and get his Nobel prize.

    4. Smart. Diplomacy.
      It’s great how Obama fixed all of BOOOSH’s bad diplomacy and made everyone like the US again!

    5. I am sure the Bush people really disliked the French leaders at various points during their term. They did, not however leak such an idiotic and juvinille statement.

      These people are nothing but overgrown children playing in a very adult world. They are just fucking pathetic.

      Beyond that they completely lack self awareness. Only someone without any self awareness would be associated with President Choom Gang and call Bibi, a no shit bad ass war hero, a “chickenshit”. Bibi craps bigger than those losers.

      1. That’s my problem–the childish petulance of the administration. It’s not just the president but many around him.

        There’s something to be said for having seasoned professionals in office–professional in the positions they hold, that is. Not that I crave efficient corruption or abuse of power, but amateur tyrants are even worse.

      2. Leftists hate Israel with a passion and as we all know this administration is incapable of keeping the mask on.

  21. “The temporary outages and loss of connectivity that users have been experiencing is solely the result of measures we have taken to defend our networks.”

    IOW, “we took down the network ourselves.”

    1. We had to destroy the network to save it.

      1. We have to reboot it to find out what’s in it.

      2. Let me guess…they had to destroy all the data on the network?

        1. No emails during the two weeks. Just whispered pig latin.

          1. +1 Sus domesticus

            1. Atsthay atinlay orfay igpay!

    2. Probably some data linking the White House to one or more scandals had to terminated with extreme prejudice.

  22. TSA Finds Cannon Barrel In Checked Bag Of San Francisco-Bound Passenger

    Transportation Security Administration officials confirm they spotted the cannon barrel last week in the checked luggage of a passenger at Kahului Airport.

    The Honolulu Star-Advertiser reports the cannon barrel was found Oct. 20 in the checked bag of a United Airlines passenger traveling to San Francisco on a late evening flight.

    The cannon wasn’t loaded.

    1. The barrel is little more than a fancy metal pipe without ammunition and the rest of the bits.

      1. It probably didn’t even have any rifling.

      2. The barrel is little more than a fancy metal pipe without ammunition and the rest of the bits.

        WRONG. A barrel is the shoulder thing that goes up.

        1. “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra”

    2. I’m wondering just what kind of “cannon” this is. Even the smallest contemporary cannon has a barrel that by itself weighs hundreds of pounds and wouldn’t fit in any normal luggage.

    3. The cannon wasn’t loaded.

      Apparently the cannon wasn’t even assembled, how could it have been loaded?

      Still don’t understand which TSA regulation a cannon barrel would violate.

      1. Obviously you’ve never been smacked upside the head by a cannon barrel.

        1. Dayum. If you had been smacked upside the head with an actual cannon barrel it would be very likely that big chunks of your anatomy would never even be found nor identified.

          1. I dunno, I hit my head on a 155mm barrel whilst piling into an M109. Its the round, not the barrel that is the problem…

  23. Ferguson Police Chief Tom Jackson denied rumors that he is resigning.

    They weren’t rumors so much as hints.

    1. Hints like his community burning him in effigy?

      1. It’s not his community. He is in charge of policing it, yes, but if you think he lives there you are on crack….

  24. Being A Politician Is The Scariest Job In America

    Americans think being a politician is scarier than being a mortician or an infectious disease doctor. In fact, there’s no job in the U.S. that workers fear more than being an elected official, according to a nationwide survey by CareerBuilder.

    It’s all that public speaking, rejection and accountability associated with the job that terrifies workers most.

    CareerBuilder’s survey, conducted by Harris Poll, asked 3,103 full-time workers nationwide which jobs they found “most frightful.”

    1. It’s all that public speaking, rejection and accountability associated with the job that terrifies workers most.

      Unless you have narcissistic personality disorder.

      1. I thought that was a legally required precedent to becoming a politician.

        1. No, it’s just a risk factor.

    2. Accountability?

      I guess this is one of those phobias where you fear something that isn’t really there.

      Being afraid of becoming a politician due to accountability is like being afraid of moving into an old house because of ghosts.

      1. Yeah, that one was a real puzzler for me, too.

      2. I think it’s more like being afraid of becoming a lumberjack because of the math.

    3. They asked a whole 3,103 people? wow

  25. Fed set to end one crisis chapter even as global risks rise

    The Fed is likely to announce at the end of a two-day meeting that it will no longer add to its holdings of Treasury bonds and mortgage-backed securities, halting the final $15 billion in monthly purchases under a program that at its peak pumped $85 billion a month into the financial system.

    An important symbolic step, the end of the purchases still leaves the Fed far from a normal posture. Its balance sheet has swollen to more than $4 trillion, interest rates remain at zero, and, if anything, recent events have increased the risk the U.S. central bank may need to keep propping up the economy for longer than had been expected just a few weeks ago.

    1. QE ends. Still no inflation. Goldbugs left holding bag.

      1. Sure you wanna keep playing, shreek? The game’s always between you and getting called a cunt. That dropped eye of yours looks like the hood on a cunt to me, shreek. When you talk, your mouth looks like a cunt moving.

      2. Indeed – you did short gold down to $600 and less like you said the price would be at, right?

      3. When you take everything that shows inflation off the list then you end up with no inflation. Doesn’t mean my costs arent going up but it helps asshats like you drool over meaningless “facts”

        1. Nobody’s health insurance costs are going up.

          1. But the increases in health care costs have fallen.

            1. Let me guess. You think a cut in the increase of a govt program is an actual cut?

              1. Plus, the claim that the rate of increase would have been even higher without Obamacare is an unverifiable claim made without evidence. Just what we would expect form a dishonest retard.

            2. So the rate of acceleration that we’re heading toward the wall with isn’t as high as it could be?…

              Really, that’s what you’re going with?

              You disingenuous fuck! DIAF!

        2. Energy is left out of core inflation numbers. And it is energy input prices that have fallen most since QE began.

          IOW inflation would be negative including energy.

          1. What you’ve just said… is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever seen. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having seen it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul…

          2. And it is energy input prices that have fallen most since QE began.

            QE is generally agreed to have begun in late 2008, when commodity prices generally were collapsing.

            In early 2009, gas prices were at a very low point, and have gone up considerably since.

            http://www.gasbuddy.com/gb_retail_price_chart.aspx

  26. This Is The World’s First Gender Neutral Underwear Collection

    “Most underwear on the market for women is extremely feminine, with flowers, pastel colors, and lace,” said Sugar and Lardeux. “Or, if it’s cut in a ‘boyshort’ it tends to be boring solid colors. We wanted to bring the design aesthetic of men’s underwear ? the bold colors, fun graphics and the shape, including the wide waistband?to a style that would fit and flatter a woman’s body.”

    1. Designers Abby Sugar and Sylvie Lardeux wanted to create “lesbian-inspired, gender-neutral,” underwear for women.

      Is this really in demand?

      Comment:

      It’s definitely more of an ‘Us lesbians love to wear boxer briefs but the empty dong pocket is annoying’ kind of problem. That is literally the only issue they are addressing. I am going to buy a pair for each day of the week come payday. This is the best idea since ever.

      Ohhhhk.

    2. We wanted to bring the design aesthetic of men’s underwear ? the bold colors, fun graphics and the shape,

      This sounds like boys underwear.

      1. No shit. Like the stuff I pull out of the basket for my six-year-old after the bath.

    1. Paaartaaaay!

    2. Wow, I thought a DUI was an automatic trip to the drunk tank for 8 hours?

  27. ” The makers of an unmanned, NASA-commissioned rocket that exploded over eastern Virginia yesterday are vowing to find the root cause of the explosion before flying again.”

    My guess would be some combination of fuel, oxygen, and a heat source.

    1. Fuel oxygen and a heat source also gets the rocket into orbit, so it has to be narrowed down.

    2. “*There* it is! A fucking carrot grew into the fuel tank!”

      1. Potato in the tailpipe!

        1. 😎

          “Wallops Facility Bans High School Tours”


  28. 7 Struggles All Sexually Uninhibited Women Know to be True

    I’m confused, should I feel more sorry for, the sluts who just can’t get a break or for the gals who get “harassed” walking around Manhatten?

    1. Is there anything less likeable than an insecure taboo breaker?

      “My social rebellion isn’t popular!!! WAAAH”

      1. Not much. These people can take the fun out of anything.

      2. Insecure Taboo

        Nice band name.

    2. Shorter article: We want to act like sluts, but we don’t want to be perceived as sluts.

    3. dumbest article ever.

    4. PSA: Women like sex; in fact, we love it. We can’t get enough of it

      Listen, Gigi, I get that you’re a woman, but unless you’re also a lesbian I have experience with a lot more female libidos than you do. What you are saying is true for just a small subset of women.

      Sexual rejection is one of the worst kinds of rejection a female can face. No matter how confident you are, it sucks to be told no, especially when you’re in such a vulnerable situation. Everyone wants to feel desired.

      I’m confused. I thought that men who were hurt by sexual rejection were just being selfish pigs who expect women to simply do their bidding?

      1. Auric you moron that doesn’t apply here because femininity rules, while masculinity drools.

  29. Columbia University President Lee Bollinger on fighting rape and kindred offenses:

    “Universities increasingly stand alone in society as forums for open community-based discourse and that surely is the correct and useful path here.”

    http://www.newrepublic.com/art…..ign=buffer

    1. How long until they fire him?

    2. Universities have not been “forums for open community-based discourse” for quite some time.

    3. He left out “free speech zones”. That’s the only 100 sq ft where you can have your open community-based discourse.

    4. Tongue-in-cheek?

  30. Armored vehicle helps collect civil judgment in small town

    When officials in the tiny Town of Stettin in Marathon County went to collect a civil judgment from 75-year-old Roger Hoeppner this month, they sent 24 armed officers.

    And an armored military vehicle.

    Among other issues, the recent unrest in Ferguson, Mo., focused attention on the growing militarization of local law enforcement, particularly the use by even very small police departments of surplus armored military vehicles.

    1. Wasn’t there a full article on reason about this? Or was it an off topic post that took over an entire comment section?

      1. Could be – I was out of commission a few days ago with a bad cold.

        1. That’s not an excuse.

      2. Yes there was. I’m glad somebody else asked. 🙂

  31. Researchers: Not even a global pandemic can solve our overpopulation problem
    Efforts to curb population growth have no chance of working, a new study finds. So what’s left?

    The researchers predict that there’ll be 10.4 billion of us by 2100 ? a slightly more optimistic take than another recent study that sees our numbers soaring as high as 11 billion by century’s end. It’s a number that, according to their models, is essentially catastrophe-proof. That’s problematic, because it suggests that population growth ? which further threatens an already strained planet while exacerbating climate change ? may be an unsolvable problem, and it lead to the researchers’ saying things like this: “We were surprised that a five-year WWIII scenario, mimicking the same proportion of people killed in the first and second world wars combined, barely registered a blip on the human population trajectory this century.”

    “No matter what levers you pull, we have such a huge demographic momentum, there’s no way we can rein in the human population fast enough to address sustainability issues in the next century,” lead author Corey Bradshaw told the Washington Post’s Chris Mooney.

    1. Simple fix – kill all the Malthusians, then the population stops being a “problem”.

    2. Cheer up, Corey. There’s always an asteroid strike or mega-volcano.

    3. overpopulation!!!!!! As if they haven’t been bitching about it for 50 years.

      You’d think that these schmucks would move out to the middle of nowhere in Montana or Saskatchewan, but they all seem to gravitate to the most densely populated cities on the planet.

      1. It keeps their delusion active. Just like all the people that think there aren’t any trees or farms left.

        1. The hudson valley is a fairly heavily populated region (not super dense, but not empty), and a ride down the river shows almost solid forest. A trip west shows forest mixed with farmland. These provincial types stuck in the NYC bubble just need to drive the truway to see that plenty of both still clutter the state. (despite their best efforts to destroy the farmers)

          1. They’re already doing it. My area is much bluer than it used to be.

            1. I meant take a day trip, not stay.

      2. It’s not that they are unaware that there is a lot empty space in the world.

        It’s that they are monstrously evil, totalitarian misanthropes.

    4. “Lindsay Abrams is a staff writer at Salon, reporting on all things sustainable.”

      Fuck.

      1. What do you want to bet Ms. Adamas has some soft liberal arts degree and her knowledge of farming and biology consists of once stepping in some horse manure left by a handsome cab?

        1. Give her some credit John, I bet she went on an ecotourism adventure to a local farm one Saturday.

        2. handsome cab

          Hey good lookin’!

    5. Sheesh…what about Climate Change?

    6. Nah. Gah. Happen.

      Fertility rates are crashing and (my prediction) will be below replacement world-wide before 2050.

      You’ll get some population growth after that due to reproductive coasting off the last big generation before people start to die. But after that it’s Japan all over.

      1. For a while and then people get the itch and start breeding again.

        Also, advancements in medical technology, lifespans and fertility will allow people to have children at older ages. So that will make the overall fertility rate at a given time less relevant I think.

      2. This. But the buffer to the crashing rates are the low income set who are slowly replacing the industrialized world. It’s freakin Idiocracy occurring in real time.

      3. Fluffs, by 2050 I think we’ll be able to grow babies in “test tubes”, and as that gets affordable, there will be a big population boom.

    7. Jesus Christ. The “overpopulation” meme has to be one of the most dehumanizing the left trots out every year or so.

      Is there no such thing as individual dignity to them?

    8. Well, there’s at least 13.7 billion light years of space in every direction to move to. I doubt we’ll fill that up in a hurry, universal speed limits being what they are.

      1. I hypothesize that there is no speed limit if the correct frame of reference is used for propulsion. Sill unsolved (even with the geometry theory in place) is the “instant act of gravity”…NOTHING is instant in science.

        Call me a Speed of Light Limit denier.

        1. I thought that gravity waves propagated at light speed, not instantaneously?

          Quantum entanglement, OTOH: who knows how that works?

    9. “We were surprised that a five-year WWIII scenario, mimicking the same proportion of people killed in the first and second world wars combined, barely registered a blip on the human population trajectory this century.”

      Why would that surprise you when both WWI and WWII barely registered a blip on population trends? Oh, right; you’re an idiot.

      1. What kind of sick fucks get wet fantasizing about world-war levels of death?

    10. yes but by 2100 how many of them will no longer be living on earth?

    1. Indeed. Man, I really want Tony Rezko to be forced to spill his guts about BO. I bet Mr. Rezko has some juicy info about our dear leader.

  32. I don’t think this has been posted yet…

    Watch This Woman Receive 100 Catcalls While Walking Around For A Day

    Ten hours of walking around New York City, 100 catcalls and one huge problem.

    Rob Bliss of Rob Bliss Creative makes viral videos for a living and decided to use his craft to shine a light on street harassment, a pervasive issue affecting females around the world. Partnering with actress Shoshana B. Roberts and Hollaback, a nonprofit movement launched by activists to end street harassment, Bliss packaged his production as a PSA and offers viewers a different perspective on the problem.

    1. a nonprofit movement launched by activists to end street harassment

      Excuse me? What’s in that video isn’t harassment. Still I wonder why so many guys approach this woman with her scowling bitch-face.

      1. The vast majority of women consider it harassment when random men yell at them. That said, the video’s not going to change anyone’s behaviour. Idiots are still going to think catcalling works. Normal, polite men are going to continue not doing it. There’s really no point to the video other than general feminist whining.

        1. Ok. But how does giving them money stop catcalling?

          1. Well at least they will be able to afford noise-cancelling headphones! Why do you hate women?

        2. Idiots don’t even think catcalling works do they? They just do it for fun. I think.

      2. Rufus: Hello.
        Girl: Are you harassing me with your white CANADIAN privilege?

        /Homer scream. Runs.

    2. Once every six minutes. She probably walked past 100 people every six minutes in downtown NY. All this proves is that 1% of the population are total assholes.

      1. In NYC? That sounds low to me. (The percentage of assholes, I mean)

        1. The tape is intended to “prove” that women endure constant harassment on the street with the implication that #yesallmen are the cause of the problem.

          But the tape shows that statistically it is some small percentage of men on the streets that cause the problem. But that doesn’t fit the narrative.

          1. Also, all the men are men of color.

            1. Noticing that is racist. That’s why the article says white men, black men and Latino men do it, even though they really didn’t film any white guys.

              1. “Black culture” is a degenerative sickness. Hows that for a racist observation?

          2. I’ve walked around NYC plenty, and I’ve personally never seen this. I wonder if I’m just oblivious to it, or if they had extra ‘actors’ to try to make their point.

            1. Leave her career aspirations out of this!

      2. I don’t see color of course, but I couldn’t help but notice all of the black and latino men who are making all of the comments.

        1. Yes. That is how they roll in NYC.

        2. There is a shortage of white country boys in pickup trucks in NYC is my guess.

          1. Why doesn’t anyone call attention to this diversity issue?

            1. Because it doesn’t fit the multiculturist narrative that whites are the one’s whose cultural values need to be eradicated.

    3. I call bullshit.

      This is staged.

      AND people can see that she’s being filmed. They’re calling out to participate in the filmed event, and not on their own initiative.

      I have lived in urban areas in New York, Boston, and Washington DC for almost 25 years and I have never, ever, ever once seen anyone catcall a woman or approach her and harass her. Not once.

      I saw the motherfucking Pentagon burning one day, 13 years ago. I have seen the Pentagon burn more often than I have seen anything like what happens in this video.

      1. Ditto. As I said above, I’ve walked around NYC plenty, and I have never seen this.

      2. It amazes me how often people believe that what they see people do on film is somehow “real.” Most of the time, it is staged in some way, even if it’s just the subject playing up to the camera.

        Not to distress anyone, but virtually all reality programming has writers. And the participants, even the pure amateurs, receive instructions on how to behave and what to do (“Um, freak out like you just learned aliens were invading over this business about having to share a bedroom with the other model. Then um, could you make out with her? Thanks.”) This also happens in most YouTube videos.

      3. From what little I have read. The camera was “hidden” in a backpack, and the cameraman walked in front of the model. But the model also had a visible microphone in each hand.

        1. Oh, yeah, that’s clandestine film work for you.

      4. I’ve never lived in any of those cities, but I’ve encountered plenty of catcalling in the midwest. (and I don’t dress like a prostitute fwiw)

        Could still be staged though, what strikes me as weird is the convenient round numbers – 100 in 10 hours

        1. Sure, whatever you say. Everyone knows that your a guy because 1)it’s the internet, its always a guy and 2) only white males are libertarians.

          1. Damn, you got me! *resumes catcalling women from his parents’ basement window*

            1. your basement has a window?

              Check your privilege.

      5. I’ve seen it plenty. It’s even happened to me – gay guys are quite aggressive!

        1. you do understand if you go to a gay bar your inviting it.

          1. Both times it happened when leaving the gym. Does that count?

      6. I have lived in urban areas in New York, Boston, and Washington DC for almost 25 years and I have never, ever, ever once seen anyone catcall a woman or approach her and harass her. Not once.

        I live in NYC and I have seen it plenty. It is always a black guy catcalling a black woman – and the woman usually shows some sign of appreciating it.

    4. I would like to know the racial breakdown of the people doing the catcalls. I think it is a pretty good bet they were mostly or even entirely not white.

      Clearly a crackdown on catcalls would have a disparate impact on minorities. Why are white feminists such racists?

      1. So do an inventory of the video that was released. Make point that you think it was staged. Then excoriate them for staging a video with only Black perpetrators. If they deny it is staged they confirm it is a legitimate social attribute of particular cultures. If they don;t deny it is staged then they staged it. Catch 22 if you ask me…get that kid from the acorn bust on it.

    5. The part of this behavior that boggles my mind the most as a fellow male: when has a catcall EVER worked? They’d have better luck on Tinder for cris-sakes.

    6. Ok nice, now lets repeat the same experiment in Des Moines Iowa.

      Anyone wanna bet that the rate of “catcalls” drops dramatically?

  33. We must abandon Bill Cosby: A broken trust with women, black America

    Frankly, I think it is high time that these violent crimes begin to cost men something. And that might mean that it has to cost those of us who love them something as well. I have shared in these pages before that I do not romanticize patriarchal families because I did not grow up in one. My father was a complicated, brilliant, hilarious and violent man, and my home life and childhood were infinitely better after he left our home. His leaving and his alcoholism cost me a father. But it saved me a mother.
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    It is high time that we decide as a nation that the symbolic slaying (and perhaps the actual locking up) of some of our most beloved men is an entirely reasonable price to pay for creating a world safe for women and children, a world where we don’t accede to narratives that convince us yet again that predators are really “good guys.”

    1. At least I learnt a new word, “heteropatriarchy”. Presumably patriarchy is OK if the patriarch is gay?

      1. Ironically, it’s always the SJW gay boys who have the biggest daddy issues and like to act those out.

    2. And the Saloniest part of the article:

      “At the Crunk Feminist Collective, where I blog, last week I wrote a piece in which I argued that perhaps in light of these allegations about Bill Cosby, it might be time to slay not only Cliff Huxtable, but also Clair Huxtable, as exemplars of a (black) American family ideal to which we should all aspire.”

      1. Nothing like having a bunch of overprivileged white girls explain to black people why other black people aren’t real black people.

        The layers in this racism pie are deep and complicated.

      2. It’s almost like the writer is unable to distinguish between real people and characters in a sitcom.

        1. I know a girl who majored in Women’s Studies (which I see is the writer’s area of expertise) and she had an entire class devoted to female tv characters from a feminist perspective.

    3. Brittney Cooper is a contributing writer at Salon, and teaches Women’s and Gender Studies and Africana Studies at Rutgers and has obviously never missed a meal.

      1. And she’s derptacular even by Salon standards.

      2. SIZEIST!!!

      3. What an embarrassment for Rutgers.

        1. She probably sailed through the tenure process, despite everyone inwardly groaning when she waddled into a meeting.

          1. I don’t think about it much but when it really comes down to it one of the biggest reasons why I have a difficult time thinking about moving back to the US from Tokyo is because here I can easily go a couple weeks without having to see

            1. Bleah – a woman who waddles.

              1. Never join academia. Stay gold, Pony Boy.

          2. Could there be an easier field of study than women studies or negro studies? Basically all you have to do is describe all things as racist and/or sexist and you’ll be hailed as an indispensable scholar.

            1. negro studies

              Hey, at Chapel Hill you don’t even have to do any work.

              1. I’m assuming that’s a trend present in every Negro studies department in Americaland.

      4. ALWAYS ADD A VOWEL TO MAKE IT LOOK MORE SMARTY!

        AFRICANA! LATINA AMERICANA! BLACKA-AMERICANA STUDIEEEEESSSS!

      5. teaches Women’s and Gender Studies and Africana Studies

        Her value as an educator couldn’t possibly get any lower. Not only is she a “women studies” teacher, but an “Africana” studies teacher too. A double whammy of worthless.

    4. I think it is high time that these violent crimes begin to cost men something.

      What fucking planet does she live on? I invite her to spend a week at the local jail and then sit on on some DV hearings in family court.

      1. You obviously missed the implied “all” before men. Until *all* men pay for domestic violence, her bloodlust will not be satiated.

    5. I must break
      With anyone who breaks
      With Bill Cosby,
      Because he gave us
      The chocolate cake.

    6. I like how she just implicitly assumes the charges are true. There is acknowledgement for only having to break with Cosby IF the charges are true, just women made allegations against him so we must treat him as if they were true and abandon him.

  34. What? No Ebola FREAKOUT link? ENB it is election season! BENGHZI!!! ISIS!

    1. You really need some new talking points.

      1. Just ignore it. It becomes even more sad and entertaining when it really gets desperate for attention.

        1. Plus, Weigel is clearly off his medication.

          1. Cialis.

            His dosages are so high at this point he has to buy it off the street.

            You don’t wanna know how he “pays”.

    2. Hey jackass, last night you were claiming that the plan to bring Africans to the U.S. for treatment was an invention of talk radio, and then about an hour later the story broke that it’s in writing and the document leaked out to the media. You should know how to quit when you’re behind.

      Only six more days until your beloved democrats get their heads handed to them. Better get ready to drink yourself into a stupor.

      1. Better yet, just start now.

        1. How will anyone tell?

          1. Less posting?

            /fingers crossed

      2. Don’t be so certain the democrats are going to get their heads handed to them. Because:
        1. They have a much better get-out-the vote ground game than the republicans
        2. Any close margin of victory for the republicans will fall to the manufactured votes of the democrat fraud machine.

  35. Repost from last night, they sure know how to burn bridges in this admin.

    The other day I was talking to a senior Obama administration official about the foreign leader who seems to frustrate the White House and the State Department the most. “The thing about Bibi is, he’s a chickenshit,” this official said, referring to the Israeli prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, by his nickname.

    This comment is representative of the gloves-off manner in which American and Israeli officials now talk about each other behind closed doors, and is yet another sign that relations between the Obama and Netanyahu governments have moved toward a full-blown crisis. The relationship between these two administrations? dual guarantors of the putatively “unbreakable” bond between the U.S. and Israel?is now the worst it’s ever been, and it stands to get significantly worse after the November midterm elections. By next year, the Obama administration may actually withdraw diplomatic cover for Israel at the United Nations, but even before that, both sides are expecting a showdown over Iran, should an agreement be reached about the future of its nuclear program.

    1. Fuck Iran and the little chickenshit in Israel. We are not their school counselor.

      Iran will be forced into our hands due to plummeting crude prices. Let the market work against them and Putin too.

      1. Markets don’t work according to you

      2. I bet you’re the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I’ll be watching you.

        1. He’s a catcher not a pitcher

  36. Kaci Hickox, the nurse quarantined at her Maine home after returning from West Africa,

    I think the correct answer is to ban all people whose names end in -aci. That will deal with the Stacis and Tracis, too.

    1. Except she’s not quarantined. She’s boasting on national TV about how she’s blowing it off.

  37. NYT magazine: The Bumpkinification of the Midterm Elections

    As we have often been reminded, this was supposed to be a very important election cycle. The Republicans’ hopes of retaking the Senate could easily hinge on squeaker races like Ernst’s in Iowa. This, along with the possibility of padding their majority in the House, would be a significant development for the nation, just as the issues loom huge, complex and ISIS-Ebola scary. And yet countless candidates seem determined to tout their fitness for these enormous challenges by trying to out-bumpkin one another. This spring, Ernst’s opponent, Bruce Braley, a four-term congressman, assured voters that he “grew up doing farm jobs and working a grain elevator.”

    One telltale signal is how familiar the props are ? the livestock, the guns, the motorcycles, the dogs and, of course, the flannel. An ad for Rob Maness, a Louisiana Republican running for the Senate, features a trifecta: a gun, an airboat and an alligator.

    Fucking disgusting hillbillies.

    1. This is just the standard stuff the Weigelian JournoList scum always resort to when they know that they’re about to get their teeth kicked out of their heads.

    2. 1. This is new? Ever hear of William Henry Harrison?

      2. It’s PC to mock an ethnic-socioeconomic class if that ethnic-socioeconomic class is the white working class.

    3. That’s why Grimes keeps running ads where she’s skeet shooting and wearing blue jeans.

      1. But why does she run ads in front of coal mines? Can’t explain that.

        1. Because someone’s getting the shaft.

    4. No hills in the Midwest.

      We are fieldbillies.

      1. We prefer the term “Prairie-Americans”.

      2. the Ozarks are in the midwest.

    5. Bigots who are oblivious to their own hypocrisy, and whine about why those country folk won’t bend to their elitist preferences.

    6. To be sure, people who actually do something for a living and who have classic virtues have some credibility that your standard politician generally lacks. So it’s no wonder politicians attempt to fake that.

    7. Yet these same folks keep generously shipping their farm products to the douchebags in Manhattan.

    8. To be sure I would much rather hang out with a moonshine drinking, gun toting hillbilly with an airboat than anybody who writes for the NYT magazine. Talk about an elitist prick.

  38. Ice statue of the Virgin Mary made of vaginal sweat.

    “The ice Madonna really did melt and smell like vagina.”

    I have no further comment.

    1. Wake me up when they do a statue of Mohammed made of frozen pig urine.

      1. Awwww…the old “I’m butt-hurt by this but I’m pretending I’m not by calling out people on what they didn’t do” ploy.

        Nicely executed, Eddie, but still transparent. Why don’t you make the artwork yourself instead of whining about what others are doing or not doing?

    2. This such bullshit. Everyone knows the Virgin Mary didn’t have a vagina.

      1. Would these transgressive artists be willing to do a statue of Mohammed having sex with a goat, or Martin Luther King pissing into a prostitute’s mouth?

        If not, why not? Buck-buck-buck ba-CAW!

        1. They must show how bold and brave they are by insulting and mocking a religion that will never do them any harm.

          1. They must show how bold and brave they are by insulting and mocking a religion that will never do them any harm.

            So photograph their work, then photoshop it to look like Khadija bint Khuwaylid instead of the Virgin Mary, then post on the web. That might slow them down a bit.

            1. It would be worth it just to hear all their frantic denials and apologies after Muslims started to freak out on them.

              1. It’s reasonable to insult and mock any religion. Some are just more deserving than others, like Islam.

      2. Everyone knows the Virgin Mary didn’t have a vagina.

        Cloaca?

    3. “It took years to manage to capture the treasured organic vaginal scent.”

      Guess who’s getting prostate cancer?

      1. “It took years of not washing to manage to capture the treasured organic vaginal scent.”

        /ewww

    4. It sweats?

      *I’m literally crying at my desk right now*

      1. Vaginal lubrication is closer in mechanism to sweating than any other process.

        1. I guess “Crotch sweat”, while more accurate, wouldn’t have had the same click appeal

          1. I beg to differ

            /googling crotch sweat

    5. Of course this runs counter to the Jezebel claim that lady parts don’t have a scent. Apparently the human sense of smell is also a tool of the patriarchy.

      1. Is the fish fresh, constable?

        1. “What she orda?”

    6. I’m washing out that image with this:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojeLyPo_Wz4

      The work of countless Christian artists will endure for ages after this guy has relapsed into the obscurity from which he should never have emerged.

  39. Hamilton, were you there on Sunday? I was just a couple of sections over so I stopped by your seats twice but didn’t catch you.

    1. Yes – I was pretty much in my seat the whole game except for a mind-numbing 20 minutes spent waiting for a beer from a REALLY slow server.

      Well, actually we left a few minutes early also, to get the grill fired up and (re)start the drinking.

      Sadly I will miss the Broncos game. Don’t force me to explain why on this forum as I fear I will lose all of my immense credibility and gravitas.

      1. The first time was about 20 minutes before kickoff, so I assume you hadn’t gotten there yet. The second was right as it ended so I must have been a couple minutes late. I was in pretty rough shape anyway, going on about 90 minutes of sleep.

        Let’s just say you sold them at a ridiculous markup and spent the money buying more monocles for the orphans to polish.

        1. Yeah, with the security we got into our seats right at kickoff.

          I’m going with the orphan polishing story. The alternative is mildly embarrassing.

  40. If you ever needed any more proof that the 4th Amendment is a dead letter, here’s what the feds are doing to get around it now.

    Suspect people of illegal bookmaking and don’t have enough to get a warrant? Can’t sneak your way in because the butler’s blocking your path? There’s a way around that, apparently.

    When that ploy failed, the agents came up with “another trick,” according to defense lawyer Tom Goldstein: “We’ll dress up as technicians, we’ll come inside, we’ll claim to be fixing the Internet connection ? even though we can’t, ’cause we broke it from outside ? and then we’ll just look around and see what we see.”

    Once inside, the agents wandered around the premises as they covertly photographed the rooms, entering the previously off-limits media room. Inside, they saw a group of men watching the World Cup soccer game and looking at betting odds on their laptops ? perfectly legal in Las Vegas.

    What else the agents saw is not entirely clear at this point, but when they left, they seemed satisfied they had enough to get a search warrant.

    “Yeah, we saw what we needed to see,” an agent is heard on the tapes saying. His partner responds, “Very cool.”

    1. So they committed vandalism and then entered under false pretenses to conduct an illegal search. How is the unconstitutionality of this even a question?

      1. Yes, my thoughts exactly. Without a warrant, that is a list of criminal and civil offenses.

        1. If only we had some piece of paper or document that made this sort of behavior illegal.

          It maybe that document has been voided by the FYTW amendment

        2. And nothing else will happen.

        3. If police were restrained by the law then they couldn’t enforce it!

    2. This is old hat, the co-opting of utility companies to cover for the po-po. I can understand the phone companies (now including cable companies) who are in bed with the NSA. And the government utilities. But certainly not the private-sector, non telecom utes.

  41. Pathetic Privilege

    Her father, Carroll Dunham, is a painter noted for his primitive brand of highbrow pornography, his canvases anchored by puffy neon-pink labia; her photographer mother filled the family home with nude pictures of herself, “legs spread defiantly.” Self-styled radicals from old money, they were not the sort of people inclined to enforce even the most lax of boundaries. And they were, in their daughter’s telling, enablers of some very disturbing behavior that would be considered child abuse in many jurisdictions ? Lena Dunham’s sexual abuse, specifically, of her younger sister, Grace, the sort of thing that gets children taken away from non-millionaire families without Andover pedigrees and Manhattanite social connections. Dunham writes of casually masturbating while in bed next to her younger sister, of bribing her with “three pieces of candy if I could kiss her on the lips for five seconds . . . anything a sexual predator might do to woo a small suburban girl I was trying.” At one point, when her sister is a toddler, Lena Dunham pries open her vagina ? “my curiosity got the best of me,” she offers, as though that were an explanation. “This was within the spectrum of things I did.”

    1. *shudder*

    2. Who is this woman? Other than a real-life Ayn Rand character?

      1. Apparently she has some repulsive show on HBO that is celebrated by feminists and the left.

    3. That was an excellent takedown of someone.

      1. Wow what a vile person:

        It takes me about two minutes to discover a Republican named Barry whose time at Oberlin coincided with Dunham’s. A few minutes later, I know a great deal about him: Where he works, where he lives, what he majored in, his high-school-prom plans, people we know in common, and other surprising intersections between our lives. When I call him at his office, I get the distinct impression that I am not the first reporter to have done so. “I don’t have anything to say about what I know you’re calling about,” he says. We speak very briefly, and he is concerned that I will use his name. It’s a strange thing to be concerned about ? his name is out there, easily found. Oberlin opened an investigation into the incident after the publication of Dunham’s book and has consulted with the local police department. The statute of limitations for rape in Ohio is 20 years, and Dunham graduated in 2008. Barry is not a character in a book; he is a real person, one whose life is no doubt being turned upside down by a New York Times No. 1 best-seller containing half-articulated accusations that he raped a woman in college, accusations that are easily connected to him. Dunham won’t call him a rapist, but she is happy to use other people as sock puppets to call him a rapist. She doesn’t use his full name, but she surely knows how easily it can be found. She wouldn’t face him in a court of law, but she’ll lynch him in print.

    4. Feminist hero casually admits to incestuous molestation of toddler. Leftist toadies everywhere applaud her courage.

  42. Disturbing prisoner treatment in Alabama

    One prisoner died of alcohol withdrawal. Constipation killed another. A third succumbed to gangrene.

    The deaths sound like they come from the logs of a Civil War POW encampment, but all three are alleged to have befallen detainees at the Madison County Jail in Huntsville, Alabama, while they were awaiting trial.

    In 2013.

    “What connects them all is that all of these people were in the medical-watch area, supposedly under the care of nurses,” said Florence-based civil rights attorney Hank Sherrod, who in the past six weeks has filed federal lawsuits on behalf of the families of the alleged victims.

    The suits target the county, jail and Advanced Correctional Healthcare Inc., the company paid to provide medical services to county inmates. The suits allege that the county and ACH reached a “deliberately indifferent” agreement to delay or deny care as a cost-saving measure.

    1. That’s an interesting link.

  43. Gabby Giffords struggling to make guns a midterm issue. Sounds like people need to hear from her like they need another hole in the head, amirite?

    http://www.washingtontimes.com…..midterm-i/

    1. Two days after Giffords’ appearance in Seattle, a 15-year-old high school student shot and killed two people and killed himself in an attack north of the city that seriously wounded three others. The shooting has barely made a ripple in the final days of the campaign.

      Shocking that the gun laws he violated didn’t stop him. But just few more laws will achieve utopia!

      1. Do we need any CLEARER evidence that there aren’t enough gun laws? THIS HAPPENED EVEN WITH OUR CURRENT GUN LAWS. WHICH ARE OBVIOUSLY NOT SUFFICIENT!

        Therefore, we need MOAR. That’s just common-sense fun control.

        1. LOLOLOL at my typo! Sooooo Freudian! That’s awesome!

          *pats self on back*

          1. you’re no John

      2. There seems to be a correlation between Giffords and mass shootings…

        Ban Giffords!

  44. http://www.usatoday.com/story/…../18105327/

    Ebola nurse refuses to follow home quarantine rules. Stupid fucking bitch. We have an entire society of utterly self absorbed and idiotic people.

    1. I’ve been told by TOP MEN that there is no danger of Ebola unless youre in the military.

      OT: The person who made the Reasonable addon is a lifesaver

    2. Is she symptomatic? Apparently not. So who the fuck cares?

      1. Because according to Ebola Czar #2, some people are asymptomatic carriers.

    3. From everything I’ve heard she does not seem like a sympathetic person.

      1. You know who else spread disease who was asymptomatic and unsympathetic?

        1. Hitler?

    4. utterly self absorbed

      You just described almost every nurse that I have ever met.

      1. Yup — The “We Wish We Really Were Doctors” syndrome.

    5. “I don’t plan on sticking to the guidelines,” Hickox tells TODAY’s Matt Lauer. “I am not going to sit around and be bullied by politicians and forced to stay in my home when I am not a risk to the American public.”

      Normally this is the sort of thing that would be getting cheers around here.

      1. Normally it doesn’t result in putting other people’s lives at risk. Walking around and firing a gun in the air breaks the rules too.

        1. She’s NOT putting anyone at risk. This is more like someone walking around making a gun with the finger and going “Bang! Bang!” People may be getting hysterical about it, but no one is actually in danger.

          1. She’s NOT putting anyone at risk

            Yes she is. To say she is not is to assume there is no chance she is infected or that she will immediately realize when her symptoms manifest if she is. There is no reason to make either of those assumptions. You just do because you think that because they are small they don’t matter and doing so fits your ideology. She is a self absorbed bitch who is putting other people’s lives at risk.

            1. There is no reason to make either of those assumptions.

              Sure there is. The burden of proof is on the state to demonstrate that Hickox’s detention is necessary, not hers to demonstrate that she should be allowed to remain free.

              And so what if she’s a self absorbed bitch? Being a self absorbed bitch doesn’t mean you have no rights.

  45. The weekly Hatin’ Ass Spurrier column has me in tears every week.

    Damn, East Carolina struggled with the UConn like they were in a Jack London novel.

    Usually when 82 meets 27 in Texas the kids end up hiring a lawyer to contest the will.

    Call Les Miles Sir Mix-A-Lot because he prefers being behind.

    Call Les Miles Congress because he doesn’t care about the deficit.

    1. I love Spurrier. I hope they bring him back to UF.

    2. Gurley just received a four game suspension including the two he has missed.

      UGA looking like they are SEC championship game bound.

    3. That’s fucking awesome. I did not know about this – I will add it to my reading list!

  46. Kaci Hickox, the nurse quarantined at her Maine home after returning from West Africa, told Good Morning America via Skype that she’ll “go to court to attain (her) freedom.”

    She WILL continue her work in the food service industry!

    1. +1 Typhoid Mary

  47. LOL.

    After scrambling to put together my Snow Miser costume, I’m-a miss the office Halloween party because of the fucking dentist. I’m a rabid anti-dentite.

    1. I’m guessing that’s not where the bus parks normally.

      1. They key is in the bus’s marquee.

        1. It should have been a red bus.

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