Ebola

Ebola Took the CDC by Surprise. But They Sure Do Have Lots to Say About Why You're So Fat and Sleepy.

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Ebola and CDC graphic
reason graphic

Sources:

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention on:

How much you drink

Whether you wear a bicycle helmet

Whether you smoke

Whether you brush after meals

How much exercise you get

Whether you get enough sleep

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  1. Thank you for always looking out for me CDC. I love you.

  2. They just didn’t have the right political hack attorney on top of prioritizing their efforts.

    1. And now they do. Of course, his #1 priority is to protect Obama from criticism about how he’s handling Ebola.

      1. Yes. The Great Ebola Scandal.

        Today’s Benghazi.

        1. Handwave harder, it might actually work if you just believe enough!

          1. This is not the scandal you’re looking for.

        2. You might be right, only not the way you hope.

        3. More like today’s Katrina.

          1. Yup.

            “Helluva job, Friedie”.

  3. We can’t just go abandon those programs, because then people might start to wonder why they were started in the first place.

  4. Why does CDC director Tom Frieden seem to be more concerned about telling people how to live their lives than preventing disease?

    Doesn’t that question answer itself? You have the keywords “telling people how to live” (CONTROL!) and “preventing disease” (THAT’S HARD AND IT’S WORK!). It’s that simple.

    1. “Power is not a means; it is an end.”

    2. Bureaucrats gotta bureaucrat.

  5. Tell them that Ebola has calories, that should get their attention.

    1. Actually, it causes rapid weight loss….

      1. Sounds like an eating disorder then, which would be right up their alley too.

    2. I think you’re on to something…

    3. It’s salty and makes you more prone to smoke

    1. Infowars is bullshit. Alex Jones is really a deep cover NSA agent, that updates a forum to keep all the nuts in one place.

      1. As Alex would say, “It’s all on record…wide open, operating with impunity.”

      2. His bullshit does make him a lot of money.

      3. I don’t take them very seriously. I just like to keep up on the latest conspiracies, and every now and then, one of them stumbles onto something real. E.g. the IRS really was persecuting conservatives, the administration really was lying about Benghazi, the Labour Party really is trying to change the UK via mass immigration, etc.

        1. That sounds like a bit more than ‘every now and then’…

          Target-rich environment these days, of course.

      4. Alex Jones does way too good of a job making tons of money off of insanity to not be fake.

    2. When it shows up in a single other news outlet, I might take it seriously. Until then, I’m filing it away next to my mental file of FEMA death trains

      1. Yeah, pretty much. But these days, a lot of the interesting news is in what’s been called the “undernews”: blogs, forums, website comments, and all the other “unapproved” sources. There’s a lot of crap, of course, but lots of real stories show up there first. E.g. Dan Rather’s fake documents.

  6. Do you see Ebola-flavored soda on the market?

    Do you see Liberia travel advertisements on bicycle helmets?

    Did you know e-cigs were originally going to be promoted as Ebola cigarettes?

    Do you see 4 out of 5 dentists recommending Ebola mouthwash in conjunction with teeth-brushing?

    Do you see any Ebola-fit gyms?

    Would you rather sleep 8 hours a day without Ebola or 24 hours a day with Ebola?

    Sounds like they’re doing a heck of a job.

  7. And, they can tell you why your lesbians are fat!

    [Hey, inquiring minds want to know.]

    1. My lesbians aren’t fat, but that’s because I put them on a special diet.

    2. I don’t know if the CDC can tell you, but I can. Men care about how their sexual partner looks. Women not so much, women are looking for status and earning potential. Which is why it seems the hottest of the hot men unfortunately are gay.

  8. So…

    I drink too much; I smoke; I get insufficient sleep; I never wear a helmet (even on my motorcycle); I don’t follow their oral-hygiene recommendations; and I probably exercise too much.

    Is the CDC reeducation camp up and running yet?

    1. No, they’ll just shoot you in the head and put you into the handgun fatality statistics instead.

      1. And if he’s had anything to drink, it’s an alcohol related shooting.

        1. Riven’s a chick, brah.

          1. Oh, yeah, well, maybe I was using the royal he. Yeah, that’s it.

            1. Just another example of the ever-present, systemic patriarchy I’m up against every day.

              /single tear

              1. Look at what you’ve done Mad Scientist, that microaggression is probably going to make Riven end up on the handgun suicide statistics instead.

                1. Damn it. That’ll end up with the CDC studying me in depth as a cause of suicides. Don’t do it, Riven!

    2. You forgot the weed smoking and the cocaine and the pills. Oh wait, that’s me, not you. Or is it?

      1. I’m not even sure anymore.

        I thought I was Jack’s raging bile duct. I guess weed, cocaine, and pills just have that effect on me.

    3. I drink too much; I smoke; I get insufficient sleep; I never wear a helmet (even on my motorcycle); I don’t follow their oral-hygiene recommendations; and I probably exercise too much.

      Go on…

  9. Why does CDC director Tom Frieden seem to be more concerned about telling people how to live their lives than preventing disease?

    Because he has to justify his job when there is no crisis, and petting the president’s wife’s pet project is a means to that end.

  10. *”telling people how to live their lives than preventing disease”*

    Good lord, you people are stupid.

    If you eat a poor diet / drink too much booze / smoke, you will get heart disease / diabetes / lung cancer.

    Since most people in this nation-state appear to be as stupid or more so than the editors and contributors to this web site, then yes, the CDC/your doctor(s) will be forced to constantly try to get you to live your life in a different manner.

    1. But what about them trying to get you to cease being retarded? Don’t they have an obligation to do that? They’re neglecting you mongoloids!

      1. Hey now, don’t insult the retarded. Some of them retards are extremely clever!

        1. Jerri: Mr. Noblet wants me to snitch on a friend.

          Jellineck: Snitching doesn’t seem like you, Jerri.

          Jerri: Oh, it’s not what you think. It’s not like snitching on a real person. She’s–

          Jellineck: Gay?

          Jerri: Retarded.

          Jellineck: Yes, most of them are.

          Jerri: Most who are what?

          Jellineck: Most gay people are retarded.

          Jerri: Does that mean Kimberly Timbers is gay?

          Jellineck: I don’t know. Hey! Make a pass at her and find out. She’d have to be retarded to turn you down!

    2. Does your need for cake ever conflict with your CDC worship?

    3. Everybody knows that not wearing a bicycle helmet is infectious. Once one person starts doing it, it’s all downhill.

      +1 Taylor System

      1. I’d rather wear a head-crab–it’s less invasive and keeps me more sane.

        1. +1 Crowbar

    4. Fuck off slaver.

    5. If you eat a poor diet / drink too much booze / smoke, you will get heart disease / diabetes / lung cancer.

      You will not, however, pass it on to anyone else, which means it doesn’t require the government to solve.

      It’s almost like you’re such a statist that you’ve forgotten that government doesn’t exist to save you from yourself, but from the harm caused to you by others.

      And so, fuck off, slaver.

      1. The scary part is that I see a lot of people making the argument “but I have to pay for your healthcare, so I have to police your behavior!”

        It never seems to occur to them that if the conclusion of a train of thought is “…and therefore I have to regulate what size of soda you can be permitted to purchase”, then maybe you went wrong somewhere a few steps back.

      2. Eat a poor diet as defined by the government?

        You understand, of course, that the diet recommended by the government is massively loaded with carbs and sugars, and the government diet is directly related to the growth in obesity in this country?

        Much of the heart disease and diabetes in this country is BECAUSE OF, not in spite of, the government diet.

    6. the CDC/your doctor(s) will be forced to constantly try to get you to live your life in a different manner.

      Why?

      It’s my body. I own it, not the government, not the CDC, and not my doctor. If I accept the consequences of my choices to eat, drink, or smoke whatever I want, it’s nobody else’s fucking business.

      People have zero obligation to anyone (except possibly their own children) to live a “healthy” life, or live as long as possible. I have zero obligation to the government or anyone else to live a monastic existence. We aren’t the government’s pet gerbils.

      My employer pays for my health insurance as part of a compensation and benefits package that I earn with my hard work. My health insurance is not a generous gift from anyone; it’s not charity. It’s not the government’s business how much or how little of it I use. I earn it. I will use it, in good health and bad, however and whenever I damned well please.

    7. Define “poor diet” and “too much” since the all knowing govt’s take on it changes daily. I MIGHT buy your argument if they had a clue AND since I’m on the financial hook for my fellow man’s choices, but since govt is the same one that adopted the inane food pyramid and has clung to it, they can fuck off w/ their advice.

    8. Re: jmomls,

      If you eat a poor diet / drink too much booze / smoke, you will get heart disease / diabetes / lung cancer.

      None of them are infectious diseases, which the CDC is supposed to prepare for.

      Since most people in this nation-state appear to be […] stupid[…] the CDC/your doctor(s) will be forced to constantly try to get you to live your life in a different manner.

      I don’t see how one thing follows the other. Even if it were true that most people are – as you said – “stupid”, from there it does NOT follow that the CDC and doctors are forced to run everybody else’s lives.

  11. There is a false dichotomy between telling people what to eat andPreventing disease.

    At the CDC correctly estimates about two thirds of healthcare costs are direct related to choices made by individuals about sedentarineas poor diet smoking etc.

    Many people have an outdated and unscientific view of disease as some external factor that just comes in and invade some persons life

    In some cases of some diseases that is certainly true but in most cases at least according to CDC estimates as well as that of most reasonable scientists most of these costs are related to diseases that are directly related to people’s personal choices

    If the CBC was engaging in government action that limited personal choice I would be against it but if you want merely talking about educating advocating etc. I am 100% for it

    Transfat ban or happy meal ban or a sugary food ban or a big soda ban etc. are all examples of government controlling our lives reducing choice and restricting freedoms

    Those are bad and obviously anti-libertarian which of course is the same thing

    And it is bright line distinguishable from advocating educating etc. which does not limit choice

    And like it or not in this age of Obamacare at Cetera etc. others peoples choices directly affect everybody’s bottom line

    It is a true free market there would be much more powerful disincentives for recklessly eating and not exercising etc. such that it could result in increased insurance costs etc.

    1. You ever going to prove you’re Dunphy? It would take about 30 seconds.

      I took you 7 minutes to compose that post.

      1. What ever it is, their meds ran out.

    2. Nice “like it or not” throwaway. Here’s the game:

      1. The government pays for healthcare
      2. Life choices affect your health
      3. The government gets to tell you how to live your life.

      Sure, you can say it’s “just education” for now, but what if the plebes don’t listen? Seatbelts and motorcycle helmets used to be merely encouraged at one point.

    3. about two thirds of healthcare costs are direct related to choices made by individuals about sedentarineas poor diet smoking etc

      Healthcare is not a rare and precious commodity in the U.S.; it is not platinum or diamonds. It’s widely available. In the major metropolitan suburbs where I live, you can’t throw a rock without hitting a clinic.

      No one has to ration healthcare; there is no need to feel ashamed for using it, especially if you’ve earned it or you are paying for it yourself. It does not have to be used sparingly or with obsequious gratitude (or guilt that they’re taking healthcare away from someone else when they’re using it themselves). There’s no shortage of diabetes, cholesterol, blood pressure, or most other common medications. There is no correlation or connection of any kind between using healthcare resources or needing such medications, and personal morality. When people illogically try to make such connections, they’re engaging in creating moral panic.

      Most people are privately insured. They pay for their insurance themselves, or their employers pay for their insurance as part of a compensation and benefits package for their work. Healthcare for privately-insured people isn’t charity; it isn’t a government handout. It’s something they earn, pay for, or both.

      1. about two thirds of healthcare costs are direct related to choices made by individuals.

        Any choices made by individuals that do not violate other people’s rights are not the business of any government agency.

        You aren’t free unless you are free to be wrong.

  12. You left out the CDC spending our hard-earned money to determine if owning a gun is a disease, too.

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