A.M. Links: No New U.S. Ebola Cases, Oscar Pistorious Sentenced to Five Years, Oscar de la Renta Dead at 82

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  • CDC

    The U.S. has recorded no new Ebola cases in the last five days. Meanwhile, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a new set of protocols for doctors, nurses, and other hospital workers dealing with future Ebola patients.

  • Iconic fashion designer Oscar de la Renta has died at age 82.
  • South African athlete Oscar Pistorious has been sentenced to a maximum five years in prison for the killing of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp.
  • Hong Kong leaders and student protesters will hold talks "though chances of success are slim given vast differences between the two sides."

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  1. Reminder!! NYC Reasonoid Meet-Up!!

    When: Wednesday, October 22, 2014, 6:30 p.m.
    Where: Rattle n Hum, 14 East 33rd Street
    http://www.rattlenhumbarnyc.com/home

    This is what’s in the taps?

    Anderson Valley Fall Hornin’ Pumpkin Ale
    Elysian Dark ‘O the Moon Pumpkin Stout
    Elysian Night Owl Pumpkin Ale
    Elysian Punkuccino Coffee Pumpkin Ale
    Great South Bay Splashing Pumpkin
    Greenport Harbor Leaf Pile Pumpkin Ale
    Southern Tier Pumking

    Barrier Hot Burning Love
    Bear Republic Racer 5 IPA
    Dogfish Head Festina Peche
    Firestone Walker Pivo Hoppy Pils
    Flying Dog Dogtoberfest
    Founders Curmudgeon Old Ale
    Founder’s Devil Dancer 2013
    Founders Double Trouble
    Founders Dry Hopped Pale Ale Nitro
    Great South Bay Hopsy Dazy
    Green Flash 30th Street Pale Ale
    Green Flash Cedar Plank
    Green Flash Citra Session IPA
    Green Flash Double Stout
    Green Flash Green Bullet
    Green Flash Hop Head Red
    Green Flash Imperial IPA
    Green Flash Le Freak
    Green Flash Road Warrior
    Green Flash West Coast IPA
    Heavy Seas Powder Monkey
    Lagunitas IPA
    La Trappe Tripel
    Left Hand Oktoberfest
    Mad River Bourbon Barrel Quad
    McKenzie’s Seasonal Reserve Hard Cider
    Ommegang Scythe and Sickle Harvest Ale
    Rogue Shakespeare Stout
    Rushing Duck Bauli Saison
    Rushing Duck Beanhead Coffee Porter
    Timmermans Framboise
    Troegs Scratch #157
    Widmer Brothers Upheaval IPA

    1. Hello.

      What? No, O’Keefe?

    2. Hmm, that’s too bad, I was really hoping for something in pumpkin..

    3. Man that sounds good…

      But honestly, fuck pumpkin beer.

      blech!!

      1. Some aren’t so rich that you feel like you are drinking a pumpkin pie smoothie. Harpoon UFO Pumpkin is more on the subtle side.

        1. Subtle is the only way to go re punkin beer.

      2. Pumpkin beer is.good if they don’t just jam a bunch of.spices.in it. I.have a friend who.makes an outstanding pumpkin ale by roasting pumpkin meat and seeds and adding.it to the boil.

        There is a brewery that makes a super pumpkin lager as well.

        1. I like the spices in it. I hate fruit flavored beers. But spiced beers are just fine. I really like a good Christmas ale.

          1. Yeah baby! Winter beers are right around the corner!

            John, if you haven’t tried it you mike like Shipyard’s pumpkin.

            1. I will do that.

          2. I lovve Grapefruit IPA – the combination of the sweet/sour with the bitter works.

        2. Unfortunately, most pumpkin beer seems to be a lot more about the pumpkin pie spices than actual pumpkin. I’m not usually a big fan of fruit or spiced beers, but I could see a beer made with pumpkin being pretty good.

      3. Fuck beer. :-p

        Seriously, some of us freaks don’t like carbonated bevereages in general.

        1. Weirdo.

        2. Ted, they’re showing Roma-Bayern today on tv up here. Luckily, CSKA-Man City is an early start. That’s what it takes to get on even though from a strictly soccer perspective, the first one promises to be a more interesting tie.

          1. Same here. When Bayern were in Russia, it was shunted to the higher-tier channel. When an EPL team goes there, it’s on the lower-tier Fox Sports 1.

            We also get another extra game if you will tomorrow, since Liverpool are playing Madrid. The Europa League, once again, is all three UK teams and a fourth game.

        3. Try cask beer. Barely carbonated.

    4. I recently finished up brewing a Black IPA. My first – rather early – taste reminded me of… a stout.

      1. I recently finished up brewing a Black IPA.

        RACIST!!!111!!!

      2. Most black ipas just seem to be hoppy porters/stouts. Some are very tasty though.

        1. I highly recommend Founder’s Dark Penance.

        2. Most black ipas just seem to be hoppy porters

          Damn, so much racist packed into this one sentence that I don’t know what to think, robc.

    5. The only Firestone beer they have is the worst one they make.

      When will America get over its love of everything hoppy? That beer is just dreadful when compared to their Union Jack or the DBA.

      1. They cycle what’s on tap constantly. Last time I was there they only had two Green Flash beers on tap.

      2. Well, I like a lot of hops. I suppose it is being a bit overdone. Sometimes it seems like there is a competition to see how hoppy things can be. But it may be that people really do like a lot of hops and not some vast hipster conspiracy to annoy you.

        1. I really enjoy hoppy beers too. I like other stuff as well – and I suppose the market will sort that out eventually.

          1. Ditto. Ipa is a reaction to decades of bland. They are the largest segment of craft but still a small minority.

            1. Decades of bland – good point. Scary to believe that once there was a time that Michelob was considered an almost snobby beer.

              1. Ah, the good old days when Coors was considered an exotic import.

                1. +1 Smokey and the Bandit

  2. The U.S. has recorded no new Ebola cases in the last five days.

    Obama cured Ebola in time for the midterms! (Or, Obama is hiding Ebola before the midterms.)

    1. Or, Obama is storing up Ebola for after the midterms?

      1. Obama had his biology Tsar to suspend the laws of nature until after the election when he will have more flexibility.

    2. Also, Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.

    3. Ebola is hiding in the deep ocean. Also, someone should do an Ebola logo with the Obama logo in place of the O.

  3. Meanwhile, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a new set of protocols for doctors, nurses, and other hospital workers dealing with future Ebola patients.

    Take it seriously?

    1. No clipboards

      1. 10 foot poles?

        1. You mean 11 foot poles.

    2. Tow the lion?

  4. UK gun owners now subject to warrantless home searches

    Published October 20, 2014
    FoxNews.com
    Facebook1454 Twitter383 livefyre1179 Email Print

    Registered gun owners in the United Kingdom are now subject to unannounced visits to their homes under new guidance that allows police to inspect firearms storage without a warrant.

    The new policy from the British Home Office went into effect Oct. 15, permitting police and constabularies to conduct surprise home visits to legitimate gun owners.

    1. Sweet liberty, could this happen here?

      1. Yes. It’ll happen in certain states first, probably CA, NY, NJ, IL.

        1. You left out MA.

          1. Yes, MA too.

      2. Are you feeling depressed about this?

      3. If Tulpa had his way.

      4. Could, but I’m somewhat optimistic. The supreme court has been moving in the right direction (though when are they going to deal with more state laws?) and it does seem like a good majority of Americans want gun rights without major restrictions.

    2. So, V for Vendetta is morphing from fiction to fact?

    3. Jesus, what’s next, taking guns away from those seeking mental health treatment? …oh wait

    4. But the British police will avoid inspecting homes where people store illegal guns since they are criminals and are dangerous. Much safer to go after some guy who shoots a 22 target pistol at the range.

    5. 1984 – it was a recipe

  5. Restaurant to charge for “artisanal” ice cubes

    The Pennsylvania-themed spot, which is set to open in the former Mighty Pint space at 1831 M St. NW on Oct. 21, will be the first place in D.C. with an ice surcharge listed on its cocktail menu. (Most bars eat the cost or build it into the price of the drink.) Granted, these are no freezer-burned, generic tray cubes. This is the fancy, unclouded artisanal stuff from D.C.’s boutique ice company Favourite Ice, founded by local bartenders Owen Thomson and Joseph Ambrose. Second State bartenders will chip off the eight corners for a more spherical shape that sits in the glass like an iceberg.

    1. Rome.is.burning.

    2. Just more proof that there is a market for anything. Say what you want about artisanal mayo, toast, or deep-dish pizza in a free society people can spend their money how they choose.

      1. Can we still mock them for it?

        1. Yes. !st Amendment.

    3. Within the context of frozen water, ice is ice. The flavor isn’t going to change if the ice is cloudy or clear, round or square – though the rounded ice will have a smaller surface area and be less effective at cooling your drink. You’re getting charged more for a less effective product.

      1. But it’s pretty! That’s like saying butter is butter, but if I’m feeling festive I might want to create a butter sculpture for a holiday table spread. And if I’m feeling lazy I might pay someone to do it for me.

        1. He’s making the mistake of assuming its job is to cool the drink. For these people, its job is to make the drink look cool.

          1. Alcohol is balm for the mind and quiesence of conscious thought. It is not there for appearances.

        2. Did someone say butter sculpture?

          Look it is Princess Kay of the Milky Way to the rescue!

        3. Well, if you go to a fancy restaurant or bar, presentation is a big part of what they are selling. The presentation of food gets a bit ridiculous these days too, but that’s a big part of the product people are buying.

      2. I thought the purpose of the ice was to take up volume in the glass. That way you pay for 32 oz. but get 16.

        1. I’m looking at this from the point of view of a customer at the bar. Besides, if you want to take up space to save on drink, having the bartender manually chipping corners off cubes isn’t a cost-effective solution for penny-pinchers.

        1. The frozen water wasn’t the problem – it was the additives.

      3. Actually, there’s a new fancy steak place that opened up right here near where I work that has a few drinks with fancy-ass ice cubes. One of them (a rye cocktail, so it was calling to me) has a big (2″cube) chunk of “smoked” ice, the idea being that the flavor of the drink changes with time. It was interesting, and only mildly expensive. But besides the cost-outrage I thought it was a neat idea.

        1. I caught a cooking show where the Norwegian mixologist used ice cubes made of heavy water!

          1. Andreas Viestad, of New Scandinavian Cooking. It’s a great cooking show for a couple of reasons: the scenery porn, that he seems to run things on one take, and that the stuff he puts together is weird, but looks like it’d taste good.

            Trippy watching those ice cubes sink right to the bottom of the drink he was making.

      4. Rounded ice is not about effective cooling, but about presenting less surface area to reduce melting, which keeps the ice from watering down the drink as quickly.

      5. I could see maybe using distilled water for ice so that no flavor is added at all. But that’s still a bit much and anything with a flavor worthy of that treatment I’d drink neat anyway.

        While larger, more spherical cubes will cool a drink less quickly, they will also dilute it less quickly, which might also be desirable.

        1. If your buying a couple of fingers of something nice enough to require a spherical ice cube, I can guarantee that you are backing the upwards of 10$ for it. In which case, call me crazy, that more than pays for the whiskey and the ice cube. However if they felt like they weren’t charging enough for the ice cube why the fuck wouldn’t they just up the drink price? No need to itemize, people know how much what they are getting costs.

          1. Oh sure. If I went somewhere and they wanted to charge for ice, I’d laugh at them and possibly leave. I rarely go to bars anymore anyway. Why spend on a night of drinking enough to buy a nice bottle of whisky?

    4. I’m gonna sell artisanal air.

      If not, artis-anal would do.

      1. That exists. Ever hear of an oxygen bar? Not for me, but there is a market for it.

      2. Perri-Air.

        1. San Pell…what a minute I know what you did there.

          Sa-weet.

          1. Well, I didn’t do it, Mel Brooks did.

            Verily, his genius knows no bounds.

            1. Except, perhaps, for those times when it falls flat on its face.

              Not everything he created was gold.

      3. Hand-crafted artisan toilet paper, applied by trained Coup d’?ponges.

    5. Nothing left to cut ..er, chip off

    6. Pennsylvania-themed

      Phwhat?

      1. Is the ice made from wudder?

        1. No, it’s solid methane.

        2. I had a room-mate, fresh from Phillie, who we to his house once.

          He had a thick accent.

          Sometime that night, he said something about getting a ‘whaiesse’.

          I could not figure out what the fuck he was saying. His girlfriend tried to explain, but they didn’t explain what it was; just kept saying this unintelligible word.

          He finally said he’d show me.

          It was a water-ice.

          “Oh, a slush, why didn’t you say so?”

          It was probably the best slush I ever had, with real fruit in it and everything.

          I told him it was great and everything, but learn to speak english.

          His name was Charles, (pronounced Chawl)
          so he was ‘Fuckin Chuck’ from there on in.

    7. While it is hilarious to make fun of hipster doofuses and all that, I feel a need to defend artisanal food products. What is not wonderful and great about food carefully made from high quality ingredients by people who want to make as high quality a product as possible?

    8. I’m reminded of the Penn and Teller bottled water Bullshit! episode.

      1. I like the show, but that is not one of my favorites. It showed a lot more how gullible and suggestible people are than anything about the merits of mineral water.

        1. Oh, you mean chalk-flavored water?

          (sorry about the very late comment)

          1. Yeah, that’s what a lot of it is. Whether it’s worth buying is another question, but it is certainly distinct in flavor from hose water.

    9. Fucking hipsters can’t even spell “favorite” correctly.

  6. Hong Kong leaders and student protesters will hold talks “though chances of success are slim given vast differences between the two sides.”

    The protesters want their college tuition paid for by the government, right?

  7. If you’re going to have aristocrats:

    The Secrets of Britain’s Wildest Aristocrats

    Jamie Blandford, who has become the 12th Duke of Marlborough following the death of the 11th Duke at the age of 88, was once described by his father as the “black sheep” of the Spencer-Churchill family (British aristocrats have an unnerving habit of changing their name as they ascend the family tree), and with good reason.

    Jamie has long been celebrated?or disdained, depending on one’s perspective?as one of the most riotous of British aristocrats. His Grace, as we must now address him, has more than 20 criminal convictions going back 30 years for offenses ranging from drug possession to burglary.

    In 2007 he was jailed for six months for a road rage attack.

    1. So you set him up for me to admire, right?

    2. The Lord Haden-Guest, not a criminal I note, maintains a carnal relationship with the Lady Haden-Guest, whose tits have been publicly viewed.

    3. Picking nits.

      His Grace, as we must now address him,…

      Actually, no, you would address him as Your Grace, if you met him.You would refer to him as His Grace, if you were talking about him in the third person, ie the way that it is used thi sentence.

      1. Picking even more nits.

        You’d address him as Your Grace, if you’re one of those limey kneelers.

      2. Your Grace, please, up against the car, arms behind Your Lordship’s back. You know the drill, your Grace.

      3. Nah, if I met him I’d address him as “Mr Blandford” if I was feeling polite and “Hey Dickweed” if I wasn’t.

  8. Goliath Encounter: Puppy-Sized Spider Surprises Scientist in Rainforest

    Piotr Naskrecki was taking a nighttime walk in a rainforest in Guyana, when he heard rustling as if something were creeping underfoot. When he turned on his flashlight, he expected to see a small mammal, such as a possum or a rat.

    “When I turned on the light, I couldn’t quite understand what I was seeing,” said Naskrecki, an entomologist and photographer at Harvard University’s Museum of Comparative Zoology.

    A moment later, he realized he was looking not at a brown, furry mammal, but an enormous, puppy-size spider.

    There isn’t enough napalm in the world.

    1. Spawn of Ungoliant???

    2. Shelob approves

    3. But there are enough rocks in the sky…

    4. I love spiders. I find that the more I have in my house, the less I have of other bugs. I think it’s more than a coincidence…

    5. Goliath Encounter: Puppy-Sized Spider Surprises Scientist in Rainforest

      It should have been left undiscovered, because pretty soon it will scare the crap out of Jeff Daniels.

    6. Been there. Seen those fuckers. All you have to do is stand still and they wander off. There is a lot more scary shit down there than those things, the worst of which walks around on two legs.

      1. So, rain forest de-forestation is not so bad? I knew it!

  9. The Pennsylvania Supreme Court has suspended one of its own justices over his involvement in a pornographic email scandal.

    This is what it takes to bring low the powerful? Porn emails?

    1. Well, that or a blow.job. oh wait…

    2. On the radio I believe I heard that it was homemade porn involving the elderly. Such deviance.

      1. Gah. MY former roommate was a video summary writer for Blockbuster and others back when they had the big yellow book. When his company shut down he redirected the mail to our house and we started getting tons of VHS porn for review. As a lark I put in some German geriatric porn….

        My eyes are still burning.

        1. “…As a lark…”

          Sure. That was it. That was totally it.

      2. The Vivid rest home for the elderly and debauched?

        It is my understanding that a lot of retirement communities in (where else) Florida see a problem with VD.

        1. It’s the first time since college that people are around that many other people of the same age, without a job, and not looking to start a family…

          1. It’s something to look forward to.

            1. Yes. But with the lights off.

        2. It’s not surprising. The reason the oldtimers wore a rubber when they were young was pregnancy prevention, wearing one to prevent contracting an STD really wasn’t on their radar, and even if they caught something a shot of penicillin would make it go away. However since the AIDS outbreak in the 80s, we youngins have had STD prevention ceaselessly hammered into our thick skulls.

      3. Rule 34 rears its ugly head, no pun intended.

    3. I ain’t clicking on those pics. Not again, anyways.

      1. Or at least until you’ve given yourself time to ‘recover’?

  10. Texas company bets big on cap & trade. The plant will ostensibly make industrial chemicals from the waste of a large cement plant. (To clarify my position, I am all about efficiency in the form of turning former waste products into salable materials. I am NOT about doing so as a way of getting corporate welfare. If it isn’t a competitive enough process to attract 100% private investment, I am skeptical that it is a good idea.)

    The plant, which received $28 million from the Energy Department, will capture 83,000 tons of carbon dioxide a year, a small burp in industrial terms. But because making those chemicals conventionally usually results in more carbon emissions, and these will be avoided, the company claims credit for another 220,000 tons. If regulations from the Environmental Protection Agency result in a carbon cap for Texas, Skyonic could also sell the credits.

    1. So their product is eco-fraud.

      1. Yes. And why would anyone bet on cap and trade in this political environment?

  11. Oldest genitals found. Went out of fashion for eons

    A new analysis of 380-million-year-old fossils tucked away in boxes in museums is rewriting the textbooks on the origins of sex and genitalia. It shows genitals started out bony, were used sideways, and then copulation went out of fashion for tens of millions of years.

    John Long from Flinders University in Adelaide, Australia, and colleagues have found fossil evidence that one of the earliest jawed vertebrates called Microbrachius dicki ? from a group known as gnathostomes ? reproduced via internal fertilisation. This suggests that all gnathostomes were doing it too.

    1. and then copulation went out of fashion for tens of millions of years.

      Feminist utopia?

      1. gaps in the fossil record.

      2. Parthenogenesis for the win!

    2. Microbrachius dicki

      I see what you did there.

    3. “one of the earliest jawed vertebrates called Microbrachius dicki ? from a group known as gnathostomes ? reproduced via internal fertilisation.”

      If humans reproduced that way, the nerd population would increase exponentially.

    4. and then copulation went out of fashion for tens of millions of years.

      “Not tonight, dear. I have a headache!”

      And that was the end of the trilobites, students.

    5. John Long, penis expert

      microbrachius dicki

      Is this an onion article?

  12. The Pennsylvania Supreme Court has suspended one of its own justices over his involvement in a pornographic email scandal.

    I’m glad kids are too busy texting and don’t email anymore because I’m having a terrible time trying to figure out the portmanteau for it.

    1. Texting – Sexting

      E-mail – See-mail

  13. “I cannot continue to live and work like this”: How Wal-Mart drove me to shut down Park Avenue

    Here’s my story. I was recently promoted to be a customer service manager at my store in Apple Valley, Minnesota. But even with that promotion, I’m paid only $10.10 an hour ? about $322 a week. I’m pretty frugal, but still, I am constantly deciding which bill isn’t absolutely necessary so I can pay rent.

    In the summer, I forgo electricity. Other months, it’s my cellphone bill. For a few months this year, it was car payments.

    I thought that I was making the juggle work. Then, in August, my car was repossessed. It has been both devastating and humiliating. In Minnesota, it’s hard to do anything to get ahead without a car. I need to take public transportation for three hours each day so I can get to work, and I don’t have a way to visit my family or friends.

    That’s my life ? and the life of hundreds of thousands of workers like me who make less than $25,000 a year at the country’s largest employer: no electricity, no phone and no car.

    get a roommate.

    1. I’m getting tired of these ‘my struggle’ stories.

      1. Translated:

        Here’s my story. I am a loser.

        1. I am a loser.

          And other people must do something about it!

          1. And other people must the government must force other people to do something about it!

      2. Know who else liked to write about his struggle?

        1. Howard Stern?

        2. Bob Dole?

      3. +1 pustch

      4. Mein Tausendj?hrig Kampf.

    2. $322 a week at $10.10/hr sounds like this was a part time gig. Did they look for a second part-time job?

      1. Could be post tax, maybe?

        1. It’s been a while since I worked at that level, so I’m not sure what the witholding would be. 40 hours at 10.10 is $404 gross. So, $322 might be post-tax. However, if that’s all you’re pulling down, a part-time second job still makes financial sense.

          Beyond that, from her own testimony, the parade of horribles all sounded like her own bad choices. Living on $1,288 a month you might not be fantastic, but it’s doable. Her method of being “frugal” was the problem with her circumstance.

          1. $1,288 a month you might not be fantastic, but it’s doable.

            Particularly when you add EBIT, SNAP, etc.

            1. erm, EITC. Multitasking causes mistakes.

        2. Even if post tax, they are getting it all back come tax time. I wonder how they treat that check from the IRS?

          1. From their demonstrated fiscal acumein, my guess is they shout “Free money!”

            1. Down payment on a car that they can’t afford monthly payments for?

          2. SS and medicare are a big chunk of it at that income level.
            Which gets back to John’s question below. Why isn’t she pissed that the government is taking 1/5th of her income out of the check?

      2. Notice the injustice of the government taking such a large percent of his small income never occurs to him.

    3. I got by for several years on $10-12k per year (and I wasn’t skipping on my bills). Learn to budget better.

      1. I presume that was before QE ramped up inflation?

        1. Ended in ’11.

      2. No shit. I’m wondering what this person’s food and entertainment spending looks like.

      3. I got by for several years on $10-12k per year (and I wasn’t skipping on my bills). Learn to budget better.

        Me too. I never missed a single bill payment. Of course, I had room mates, never ate out, got my hair cuts at a super cheap shop instead of a fancy salon, had no car, cell phone, TV or cable, and rarely bought anything that was not an absolute necessity.

      4. Back in ’00, after my son was born, I quit the job I hated and became a stay at home dad for 6 months. We had a family of three on my wife’s wages – which were only ~$30k. We owned a house and even made car payments on a Nissan Altima. Yeah, no vacations or silly shopping trips, but we did fine until I got another job. It’s all about controlling expenses and shopping wisely.

        1. I’m almost embarrassed to admit that we added about $200 back into our budget by being more conscientious about eating the food we bought at the super market, rather than letting it sit in the fridge. Although half of that was demanding that my wife no longer throw out meat products after six days. One day after the sell by date it has to be used or frozen is our compromise. We ate out a lot less this month, too. It has led to us having a bunch of money I’m not used to seeing in our account.

          1. My wife did a big cook day a couple months back, freezing 4 months worth of food. We now have a $50 monthly grocery budget (for fresh produce), and this food is tracking to last well over 5 months . we paid $850 for all the food, and $200 for a freezer, but cut $350 out of our monthly food budget. Our $200 clearance Lowe’s chest freezer has more than paid for itself, and we’ll probably come out at least $800 ahead after 6 months.

            It was embarrassing that the two of us couldn’t eat for less than $400 a month, but no matter what we tried, we kept blowing that budget item out of the water. Now, even if we double our grocery budget, it’s only an extra $50.

            1. We just don’t have a place in our fairly small house for a chest freezer. But I am damn sure getting one first thing if we move. Our grocery bill — granted it has diapers and formula in it — was almost $1000 in August, and September we didn’t spend as much but we ate out a ridiculous amount. Again, embarrassing. We went from indulging to self-indulgent.

              1. $1000 a month?

                Odin’s frickin’ beard, man!

                1. Yeah. It was disgusting. Especially given how much of that $1000 got thrown away. Granted, we drank some nice wine and beer. Maybe $150 worth?

          2. Why do people think that sell by dates are use by dates? I figure it should be good for a week after a sell by date. And unless you are cooking it rare, much longer than that.

    4. Cantare Davunt, 30, is a Walmart customer service manager from Apple Valley, Minnesota.

      Um, 30?

      1. It’s like totally the new 20.

        1. According to Obamacare, 25 is the new 18. So your estimate is spot on.

    5. Get a second job and a roommate you dumb cunt. Or (gasp) move back in with family.

      It’s interesting to note that despite not being able to pay her bills she somehow made it from MN to NYC to hector a stockholder.

    6. My buddies cousin worked at Wal Mart during high school and worked his way through the ranks to where he was managing a store. Made a lot of money with *gasp* no college degree.

      1. Yeah, there’s that too. Do a good job and get more promotions. “Customer service manager” is probably not a very high level position at Walmart. If you work at a place like that for a few years and you are not an idiot, you will probably end up with a decent paying job.

        1. CSM is the position for cashiers who show up on time and don’t steal for six months.

    7. Even without clicking on the link, I knew it had to be Salon.

      Gotta love the Linda Tirado clones.

    8. Don’t rely on retail work for income unless your only skill is endless patience.

    9. In the summer, I forgo electricity. Other months, it’s my cellphone bill. For a few months this year, it was car payments.

      How was that person able to cope before the promotion?

      Something doesn’t sound right here. I smell a con game…

      Wait, it’s from Salon? Ah, that explains it.

      1. Salon’s writers and readers seem to have some sort of allergic reaction to personal responsibility.

    10. And a cheaper car. I suppose there is a debate to be had on the relative merits of having no car payment but more repairs and a reliable car with a monthly payment. But if you are at all capable of saving money, I’ve always favored the cheap used car approach.

      1. The debate is quick and one sided. Assuming that you didn’t buy an absolute junker, your repair and upkeep payments on a $5-10k car over 5 years won’t even come close to the $10-15k needed to get a decent new car.

        Anecdotally, I spent $2400 on a 2000 Taurus in 2008.it had 55k miles on it, but a few quirks due to its age. I’ve spent around $3k on repairs and maintenance since then, and need another $1k soon. I’ve had fairly reliable transportation for 6 years and have spent less than $6k total. Granted, I was a bit lucky and shopped for this car for over a year, but it’s not out of the question to be all in at $10k after 5 or 6 years of owning a car.

        1. Eh. I bought a lemon trying to do that. I was $6500 in repairs in the hole on a $3000 truck in six months with no car to show for it. I stopped throwing money at it after the seals blew after the head gasket had been replaced, and the brakelines and the gas tank. Of course, I bought a slightly more reliable truck for ?00 (also cash), and have put about $300 into it in 3 years, and need new tires and brakes.

          1. It’s definitely risky, especially when you get below $5k. I would not recommend going below that because there were plenty of issues that I’ve had to live with for years that weren’t worth fixing.

            However, for somebody pulling down $350 a week, a $150 car payment eats up 1/4 of the take home pay. It’s better to put $7k down on a cash only car and save that $150 toward getting out of poverty than a $7k down payment on being car poor but insulated from taking a hit when the engine blows up.

          2. BuSab’s Iron Law of Clunkers: Never spend more than you paid for a car on repairs.

    11. “That’s my life”

      One that you were forced into and have no option to change.

      1. Strong argument for abortion.

    12. I need to take public transportation for three hours each day so I can get to work, and I don’t have a way to visit my family or friends.

      Bullshit. Move closer to your work. Or transfer to a Walmart closer to where you live.

      I don’t buy that this guy both doesn’t live near his employer and doesn’t live near his friends or family. Most people pick one or the other unless he’s completely antisocial. Which is a strong possibility.

  14. It’s a weird coincidence that the shape of the Ebola virus is the written Arabic for “pizza.”

    1. I don’t see it.

    2. For God’s sake, don’t print it on a shoe!

  15. It says “Romans go home!”

    Rare Roman inscription unearthed in Jerusalem

    Israeli archaeologists on Tuesday unveiled a 2,000-year-old commemorative stone inscription dedicated to Roman Emperor Hadrian, which researchers say sheds light on the Jewish revolt against the ancient empire.

    The stone, which measures a metre by a metre-and-a-half (three feet by five feet) and weighs a tonne, was found near the Damascus Gate entrance to Jerusalem’s Old City, with Israel’s Antiquity Authority (IAA) calling it “one of the most important Latin inscriptions” discovered in the Holy City.

    1. Way to go alerting the nativists, LH.

    2. The Latin gate is in the middle of the city. How did they miss a one ton rock for this long?

  16. Cops: Losers Of Beer Pong Match Opened Fire On Fellow Texas Partygoers

    According to the Liberty County Sherriff’s Office, investigators are searching for two men who allegedly shot up the party after losing at the beer pong table. Deputies identified the suspects as Decoris “Red” Rucker, 24, and Chris “Crazy Chris” Hackett.

    Rucker and Hackett were among a group of five men who became upset after losing a backyard beer pong game. The men, witnesses said, ran from the home while firing wildly at partygoers. An 18-year-old woman was shot in the thigh during the gunfire.

    1. Honestly, this seems like a justified shooting.

    2. Hmm, this presents some fears for my upcoming kegger…

    3. It was the effects of the pumpkin beer.

  17. The Cops Won’t Help You. Fight off and subdue a knife wielding murderer with two cops five feet away behind a subway door, have them come out, arrest the guy, and take credit. FYTW.

    1. I just read it. Wow. Not surprising but wow.

      What an indictment of journalism that you had to read such a story on Cracked.

      Journalists, cops, politicians. All rats.

      1. Cracked seems to be a legitimate news source now.

        To think I used to prefer MAD. What stories have those guys broken lately?

  18. There have been no new cases of alt-text lately, either.

    1. We need an alt-text Czar

      1. I thought Auric did that already?

        1. I think Czar would have more power. I’m more of an alt-text meter maid.

  19. Woman charged under new Virginia revenge porn law

    Waynesboro police tell media outlets that 28-year-old Rachel Lynn Craig is accused of posting a nude photograph of another woman on Facebook.

    The law went into effect July 1. It makes it illegal to distribute a sexually explicit image of others without their permission. The phenomenon is called “revenge porn.”

    Police Sgt. Brian Edwards says the 22-year-old victim told police that Craig took the photograph from a cell phone belonging to the woman’s boyfriend and posted the image on Facebook. The woman says she had taken the photograph of herself and sent it to her boyfriend’s cell phone.

    1. I initially read that as “Woman charged under new Vagina revenge porn law”

  20. Man Escapes Alimony After Wife Admits She’s a Genie

    This story about a divorce in the United Arab Emirates begins in not-so-unusual fashion: A wife refuses to sleep with her husband, and he is not pleased. Then it gets weird: She tells him to talk to her parents, who explain that their daughter can’t have sex with him because she is, in fact, a supernatural creature called a jinn that the BBC equates to a genie. This results in divorce. But if the excuse was a tall tale, the joke’s on the ex-wife, because a court in Dubai ruled that she is not entitled to alimony, reports Gulf News. Reason? She wasn’t honest about the genie matter.

    Remember, the world is flat /Friedman

    1. If Barbara Eden is any representation of what Genies are actually like, why the hell is he divorcing her?

      1. why the hell is he divorcing her?

        Possibly this:

        A wife refuses to sleep with her husband

        1. If she looks like Barbara Eden did, I am still hanging in there even if its only a one in a million shot she will come around.

          1. Maybe he should have asked for three wishes; and used them wisely.

            1. Yeah. Or taken a clue when she always wanted to sleep inside her bottle.

              1. OK, I lol’d.

              2. JR Ewing still tapped that.

          2. Show me the hottest girl on the planet and I will show you the guy running as fast as he can to get away from her.

            1. Yes because no matter how good she looks, you get used to it. And eventually the fact that she is a bitch or a cold fish in bed will really start to matter.

              But Barbara Eden was a goddess. I bet she was nice and good in bed.

              1. Ok, that’s funny.

      2. Because she won’t have sex with him.

      3. She’s not a djinn. She claims to be possessed by a djinn.

        It’s a slightly more inventive excuse than “I have to wax the cat.”

  21. Video: Truck blows off road in first winter storm

    A truck blew off the road on the Ring Road on Hellishei?i mountain pass leading from Reykjav?k to Hverager?i and South Iceland yesterday evening, as can be seen in the following video shot by Dieter Schweizer. Search and rescue teams were called out.

    A bus also blew off the road, as the wind speed reached 23 meters per second. [23 m/s ~= 50 mps]

    I don’t know if the video is autoplay for those of you who don’t have plugins turned off by default.

    1. 23 m/s ~= 0.94 ? speed at (or below) which Sammy Hagar cannot drive ( 55 mph )

      Courtesy Wolfram Alpha

  22. Dems Blast the “Tricky, Little-Known Maneuver” That Passed Obamacare

    So the “tricky, little-known maneuver” that the Republicans may use is reconciliation. Reconciliation dates to the 1974 Budget Act and has been used many times since to enact spending and tax legislation. The House Rules Committee explains the reconciliation process here.

    Reconciliation has never been a partisan issue; it has been favored by both Democrats and Republicans for budget matters. But the most controversial use of the procedure, by far, took place in 2010 when the Democrats relied on it to pass Obamacare without a single Republican vote, and without having 60 votes in the Senate.

    1. And the filibuster is going to become a bedrock of the Democratic process in about month. Funny that.

      1. Dissent is the highest form of patriotism!

      2. And the media will march along in lockstep to support the narrative.

    2. the “tricky, little-known maneuver”

      Sounds like a headline from Cosmo…’Learn the tricky, little known maneuver that will drive him wild”

      1. “Not tonight, I have a headache?”

      2. LOL.

        According to the Dems, “tricky, little-known maneuvers” are great when intended to please His Excellency, the Democrat POTUS.

        But don’t you dare attempt them on anyone else.

  23. http://www.washingtonexaminer……le/2554975

    Michael Barone on how prosperity sows the seeds of decay. Mancur Olson made this exact point in his classic but sadly not well enough remembered book The Rise and Decline of Nations. If you haven’t read that, you should.

    The genius of the American system was that it allowed for changes in political class without revolution and before the rot got too deep. That was until campaign finance reform. Campaign finance reform, by acting as a near absolute protection for incumbents rob our political system of its ability to purge and regenerate. And the results of that have been ugly.

    What is even more depressing is how hard it is to get people of any political persuasion to understand that. Try explaining how allowing more money in politics raised by whatever sources available is good for the country and allows for the system to renew itself and for a better class of person to enter politics and you will be greeted by a blank stair followed by some mumbling about how “the problem is all of our politicians are for sale and this would just make it worse”, regardless of the political leanings of the person you are talking to. Its just hopeless.

    1. Enjoy the decline? I guess.

      1. Sad but true. Its why I don’t leave government service even though I loath it. When the government stops making war on the private sector and the private sector starts making war on the government, I will cheer and go join the winning side.

        1. Be careful, John, that many years of government service don’t act as a disincentive to hiring you. How many businesses hire long-term government employees for.jobs other than government interface or lobbying?

          1. I know. I am fucked.

            1. Maybe not. Just come up with a believable plan to take it all down from the inside. Not that I am advocating such a thing.

              1. Or just use my GI bill and learn how to do something that doesn’t involve pushing paper. You know, actually make or fix things. What a concept.

                1. Funny, I’ve thought of doing that. Learn to weld, or be an electrician.

                  1. Don’t be an electrician. My father in law retired as one. It is just crawling around stringing wire. No thanks.

                    Welding is a cool skill, but it is very hot and very physically taxing. I would like to know how to weld but would not want to do it as a full time job.

                    1. Depends on what type of electrical work you do. Residential electrician is like that but some of the specialties such as a HVAC or plant electricians have a lot more to it. Power quality analysis, motor diagnostic and repair, PLC work, complex troubleshooting, etc.

  24. Morning Joke may have reached a new low. A fawning interview of Josh Earnest.

    “Like, OMG, what makes you the greatest White House Press Secretary EVER, Josh? SQUEEEEE!”

    1. Serves you right for watching MSNBC.

  25. The British military will step up its campaign against ISIS by conducting surveillance flights in Syria

    See! If their munitions had been stored properly they’d be allowed to perform attack sorties
    /British Home Office

  26. http://freebeacon.com/politics…..r-lawsuit/

    Kay Hagen put judge up for federal appointment right as he ruled on a multi million dollar case involving her husband.

    Kay Hagen and Claire McCaskill both come across as classic empty suit senators. Since they are Senators you would expect them to be crooks, but you wouldn’t expect them to be as big of crooks as they apparently are.

    Its also interesting how they both are married to men who appear to be career criminal con artists. Girl power I guess.

    1. John, for the love #%%%$^@@ God, did you see my last two comments last week regarding my taking back the ‘jack squat’ comment?

      1. No I didn’t.

    2. Hagan withdrew her recommendation to Obama after North Carolina’s News and Record contacted her office about the apparent conflict of interest, telling the paper that she “was not aware that Judge Murphy was hearing a case in which my husband had an interest.”

      What a load of shit. Who would believe that crap?

      1. The most ardent of partisans.

      2. In VA Mark Warner is up at least 10 points and possibly facing a federal indictment, because a member of his staff left a voice mail promising a judgeship in exchange for keeping a dem from retiring from the state legislature.

        1. I bet he does get indicted. Warner is another one you wouldn’t have figured would end up indicted but probably will be.

          As bad as Warner is though, imagine how horrible anyone Terry McAuliffe would appoint is going to be.

          1. Especially with how they did McDonald. McDonald was stupid but if that is how they are going to define corruption(which I’m completely fine with because they should all be in jail) Terry might as well change his mailing address to a federal penitentiary because that’s where he will be moving to after his time as gov. is over. McCauliffe’s entire net worth is comprised of earnings involving the exact same sort of corruption McDonald was indicted on.

            1. This is especially true if the Republicans win the White House in 2016. You don’t think the Virginia Republicans, who will no doubt play a large role in who gets appointed to US Attorney for NOVA, won’t be looking for a little payback for the McDonald case?

              And you know as well as I do, McAulliffe is doing shit that is ten times worse than anything McDonald did. If there were a politician federal prison pool, McAuliffe would be a good bet.

              Amazing how greedy these assholes are. McAuliffe managed to make himself a millionaire and be set for life but it wasn’t enough. He had to go for being governor and being in a position where his corruption would be noticeable. I bet he ends up in prison as a result.

              1. The two things McAuliffe has going for him is the Clintons may be in the Whitehouse and he has a history of sneaking out the backdoor when the cops are raiding the building like everytime. He is a survivor.

                1. He is that. And yes, McAufiffe better pray Hillary wins in 2016. Even if a Democrat wins, if its not Hillary, its likely to be someone who hates the Clintons, meaning they might even be more likely to go after him than a Republican DOJ.

    3. ts also interesting how they both are married to men who appear to be career criminal con artists.

      Add Mr. Pelosi as another data point.

      I don’t think it’s as much girl power as what the spouse does. Traditionally, politicians’ spouses (wifes) looked pretty, hosted parties, and did social work. Husbands are less likely to do that and more likely to be doing some sort of work, and work that comes from their relationship is the easiest kind. In Oregon, the Governor’s girlfriend has been trading off of her position for years now to advance her consulting business.

  27. “Oh goodie, Monica Lewinsky is back in the news again!”, said absolutely no normal person on the face of the earth, ever.

    The fact that this worthless fat pig is being shoved down our throats by the JournoList is the surest sign out there that Hillary is running for president.

    1. The fact that this worthless fat pig is being shoved down our throats by the JournoList is the surest sign out there that Hillary is running for president.

      Uhh, ok.

      The Clintons hated and continue to hate that woman. I don’t think much of her personally, but the affair with Billy Jeff succeeded in destroying her. Democrats have made sure she hasn’t been able to do much of anything productive for the last 15 years. I seriously doubt the JournoList has anything to do with her reentry into the zeitgeist.

    2. She should. She is a no kidding victim. Lewinsky clearly wasn’t and isn’t that bright or possessing very good judgement. But she is hardly the first young women to convince herself that a married powerful man really loves her and is going to leave his husband. And whatever she deserved for that, it wasn’t being condemned to spend the rest of her life as a punch line.

      The problem was not that Clinton had an affair. Lots of people do that and frankly the conditions of his marriage are none of the public’s business. If Clinton had had an affair with someone even remotely his peer, only partisans and real scolds would have cared. The problem was he had an affair with someone not his peer and took advantage of and ultimatley ruined the life of someone who compared to him was essentially powerless. That made him not just a bad husband but a horrible human being.

      The other thing about Lewinsky that should never be forgotten is that Hillary tried to use the entire power of the White House and the Democratic operative media to portray a young woman she knew was telling the truth as a liar and a stalker and mentally ill. That makes Hillary a worthy match for Bill in personal loathsomeness.

      1. that a married powerful man really loves her and is going to leave his husband.

        Oh John, how do we love thee? Let us count the ways.

        1. It is the 21st Century.

      2. People are always trying to change the narrative. Clinton was not for gay marriage back in the ’90s!

    3. I’m confused. Your theory is that Hillary supporters want to put Lewinsky front and center in the headlines? Interesting.

      1. get her out there…get her over with.

        1. This, put her out there to establish fatigue early.

      2. It seems to me that it was Lewinsky’d decision to emerge at this recent event(s), so I fail to see how any “supporters” are behind it… perhaps exploiting it, but not directing it.

        1. I think the Clinton haters, which there are many, are behind it. And it is not the Republicans doing it. The Republicans would prefer to wait and bring this stuff back up after she gets the nomination. It is Hillary’s enemies in the Democratic Party who are doing this to try and either convince her not to run or prep the battlefield for if she does.

          1. The dems in their primary will have used her up long before the reps in the general.

          2. “behind it” by encouraging Lewinsky to come out of near-hiding and make appearances/speeches?
            I dunno, but making her out to be a patsy being manipulated by dem operatives to decide now to emerge and restore her image gives quite a bit of credit to these folks.

            1. I’m invoking hanlon’s razor on this one..

            2. Yes. Lewinski wasn’t locked in a cave. She can only give interviews if someone is willing to print them.

              1. I guess I haven’t been keeping up on the current events, but I thought the only blip on the radar on her was a recent speech she gave at some womens forum or something. Was there interviews as well?

                1. Ah, sry, I did my own digging. It was the Forbes Under 30 Summit. It also says she’s been contributing to Vanity Fair since July. Sooo, dem operatives convinced her to start writing for VF and then convinced the Forbes Summit organizers to put her on the agenda??
                  Again, if this is a carefully coordinated plan, I’m impressed..

                  1. Sooo, dem operatives convinced her to start writing for VF and then convinced the Forbes Summit organizers to put her on the agenda??

                    No. Dem operatives at VF offered her the chance to do so, just like they offered her a chance to speak at the Forbes Summit.

                    Lewinsky has always been out there. The things she is doing is only turning up in the major media because the major media decided they would when they hadn’t for years. And the reason for that is I think that some people don’t want Hillary getting the nomination.

      3. Yep. The lefty media absolutely loves this crap. Makes Hillary look like the tough victim of both Slicky’s infidelities and the meanies like Ken Starr, and it’s a great distraction from her failures and general lack of competencies.

        They’re going to make us rehash all this garbage again and again and again while pretending the whole that it’s their enemies who are doing it. That’s how they roll.

        1. I don’t see how it helps Hillary. Yes, people really don’t want to hear about this carp anymore. All bringing it back up does is associate Hillary being President with it being brought up for four years. I don’t see it.

    1. I find all of this funny. You would think that Kotaku et al would understand that the gamer community is nothing if not determined. Who else would spend massive amounts of time farming credits in online games? That the writers would pick a fight with them shows that the journalists are not only arrogant, but stupid.

      1. It’s the single-mindedness of gamers that makes them easy to underestimate the misfiring ‘logic’ goes something like “They spend so much time doing asinine crap that they have no lives and must be invertibrate to boot.”

        1. Kinda sounds like public servants… Just sayin.

          1. This member of the bureaucracy happens to be a gamer. Not the high tier hardcore croud (not enough time with my writing), but not a casual sod either.

            1. Cool. I just couldn’t help the humor I saw there. I’m cheering for these guys. It would be nice to seeing the screeching hordes stopped here.

    2. I remember a certain reptile breaking this news last night.

      1. Apologies, I wasn’t around.

        1. It’s cool. Maybe if they used Nobel prize criteria for hat tips then we could get one. But I wouldn’t want to degrade reasons’ current standards

          1. Standards?

            HA!

  28. I’ve been collecting coins – I’m often more interested in the history of how the coins were created. Take the lowly nickel:

    1865 – Industrialist Joseph Wharton had a near-monopoly on the mining of nickel in the United States, and sought to promote its use in coinage. He was also highly influential in Congress. His friends there, though they had failed to obtain the metal’s use for the two-cent piece, had been more successful with the base-metal three-cent coin. Pollock prepared a bill authorizing a five-cent coin of the same alloy as the three-cent piece, with a total weight not to exceed 60 grains (3.9 g). At the committee stage in the House of Representatives, the weight was amended to 77.19 grains (5.00 g), ostensibly to make the weight equal to five grams in the metric system but more likely so that Wharton could sell more nickel.

    1. I want my half-dimes back!

  29. That’s my life ? and the life of hundreds of thousands of workers like me who make less than $25,000 a year at the country’s largest employer: no electricity, no phone and no car.

    I’m going to need a little more info about this person’s spending habits before I start the waterworks. First off, what year/make/model was that repossesed car?

    1. If you’re poor you shouldn’t be making payments on a car. It’s just stupid. But, if you can’t save up for one, then I don’t know what to tell you.

    1. What happened to the summarizing excerpt? You can’t simply post a link here with no summarizing excerpt! What are you, some kind of barbarian?

      1. I think my smugness speaks for.itself.

        1. No, it doesn’t. I don’t follow links without good reason (especially given the commentariat here) so explain thyself db

          1. Ebola Czar Position Seen Primarily as Stepping Stone for Political Hack

            1. Ahh, that’s better! Thank you!

              Ok, NOW I’ll link to it.

        2. I think we need more extraneous periods.

          1. I think Hillary is past that age…

    2. A senior Democrat who works closely with the White House said: “He’s very good at seeing around corners. And they know they need someone who can do that.”

      So he’s a creep that peeks around the office corner to listen to other people’s conversations.

  30. The British military will step up its campaign against ISIS by conducting surveillance flights in Syria.

    “See if we can catch some of those bloody buggers taking a bath in the buff!”

  31. The problem was he had an affair with someone not his peer and took advantage of and ultimatley ruined the life of someone who compared to him was essentially powerless. That made him not just a bad husband but a horrible human being.

    That Social Justice Warrior uniform looks good on you.

    1. It is true. Fame has a power all its own. And anyone caught giving blowjobs to the President in the Oval office is going to be very famous for doing so. If you are someone who is already known for something and has a career, that isn’t a life ending thing. If you are 22, you are destined to be known only for that.

      Perhaps I am not the Libertine I think I am, but I think if you are President telling the intern you are going to leave your wife in return for blowjobs, makes you a shit bag.

    2. To be fair, Brooks, if this had happened in the private sector, the TEAM BLUE (even though it wasn’t actually TEAM BLUE until 2000) would have had conniption fits. Sexual harassment law was designed to make this sort of relationship actionable. Now if you want to suggest that it shouldn’t be actionable, I’m sympathetic to that point of view, but I thought it was great to see the Democrats hoist upon their own petard.

      1. In addition to that, it was the Democrats and the feminists, who later went to the mattresses for Clinton, who passed the sexual harrassment laws and made a person being sued for it’s entire sexual history fair game.

        The reason why Clinton was guilty of perjury and not just lying about something that was just embarrassing but not relevant, is that he was giving a deposition as a defendant in a sexual harassment suit. Paula Jones’ claim was that he demanded sex from her and when she refused he harmed her career. One way she could prove that is to show that he had sex with other employees under them and they were treated differently and better than Jones. That made the fact that he was having an affair with Lewinsky key to Jones’ case and him lying about it perjury.

        1. Lol, went to the mat..tresses. Well done

    3. What does social justice have to do with it? An abuse of power is an abuse of power.

  32. “Iconic fashion designer Oscar de la Renta has died at age 82.”

    Who gives a flying fuck?

  33. Went a couple threads down to the Suderman article.

    Holy shit. Seems like a competition for biggest douchebag on HnR.

  34. Seems like a competition for biggest douchebag on HnR.

    How many True Libertarians can dance on the head of a pin?

    1. I was waiting for bo and mike to get a room

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