A.M. Links: Second Ebola Case Confirmed in Dallas, ISIS Strikes in Iraq, Alaska Gay Marriage Ban Overturned

• 

  CDC

  A health care worker in Dallas became infected with Ebola after providing care to Thomas Eric Duncan. The Centers for Disease Control blamed the infection on a "breach in protocol."

• ISIS has claimed responsibility for a triple suicide bombing last week in northern Iraq that killed at least 58 people.

• French economist Jean Tirole has won the Nobel Prize in economics.

• Hundreds clashed in Hong Kong after crowds armed with crowbars and cutting tools attempted to dismantle the barricades erected by pro-democracy protesters.

• A federal judge struck down Alaska's ban on gay marriage last night.

• "According to Edward Snowden, people who care about their privacy should stay away from popular consumer Internet services like Dropbox, Facebook, and Google."

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Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

"According to Edward Snowden, people who care about their privacy should stay away from popular consumer Internet services like Dropbox, Facebook, and Google."

That leaves reason.com in the clear.

[Swiss Servator, Grundgesetz!]

For now...

[Injun, as in from India]

Anti-war.com is already in the feds' crosshairs. I doubt that Reason.com is not, given how "rabidly anti-government" we are here.

[Rasilio]

Well we know that there are NSA spies in here because there are obviously no libertarian women and there are women who comment here. Ergo, Nikki is a NSA (or maybe CIA) spy.

[Swiss Servator, Grundgesetz!]

Well, she is the worst...

[Zeb]

She's really more of an anarchist than a libertarian. Are there anarchist women?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Hello.

"French economist Jean Tirole has won the Nobel Prize in economics."

And Obama mopes.

[cavalier973]

There is no Nobel prize in economics.

[Zeb]

But everyone is going to keep calling it that anyway. At least you have something to be pedantic about every year.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The Centers for Disease Control blamed the infection on a "breach in protocol."

Ebola not only infects people but it breaches protocol now, too? Insidious.

[DJF]

The exact protocol breached was the one where its says "Don't catch Ebola."

[db]

OK, what we have here, people, is the most dangerous kind of disease known to man. It doesn't play by the rules, follows no known pattern, and can outwit and strike terror in even the biggest health care bureaucracy. People, with Ebola, Procedures are not Followed.

[gaijin]

When people screw up it is because they don't have procedures. When they have procedures but do not follow them, it is because people screw up. Clearly, people are the problem. A world without screw ups will require a world without, uh, wait a minute.

/Top Men

[kbolino]

How fucked up are your personnel practices when you can't convince people not to fuck around with a disease that has a 50% fatality rate?

[CatoTheElder]

As far as I can tell after Googling the Internets, the CDC logic runs like this:

The nurse got infected, therefore there was a breach in protocol.

Which is poor root-cause failure analysis.

Really, really pathetically piss-poor root-cause failure analysis.

In any case, the transmission from Patient Zero to a nurse suggests that Ebola is a wee bit more contagious than the authorities are letting on.

[Slammer]

No video game news?

Yesterday may have been the Comments Thread of the Year,

[db]

Meh. I'd rather play a game than read about people being butthurt about games. Same thing with the Olympics or any sport nowadays. I hope the gaming world can successfully resist the tendency of media to make the story more about the reaction to the games than the games themselves.

[Gene]

I hope the gaming world can successfully resist the tendency of media to make the story more about the reaction to the games than the games themselves.

Resistance is futile.

[Swiss Servator, Grundgesetz!]

I made it three quarters through that thread - Fluffy and Irish were killing the doofs that came in, but it got to the point I was hoping for a mercy coup d' grace.

[db]

Huh. You make it sound like the "zombie swarm" phases of Left 4 Dead.

[Aloysious]

I missed most of that, had to work yesterday. I read each of Fluffy and Irish's posts, they were on fire. I wanted to give them a high five.

[Auric Demonocles]

Oh? What's the quick summary?

[UnCivilServant]

New Troll wandered on, got curbstomped in rhetoric.

[NebulousFocus]

It was beautiful, albeit 700 comments long.

[Auric Demonocles]

Perhaps slightly less quick?

[KDN]

Well, it also included Tulpa referring to himself in the third person, which is always a treat.

[NebulousFocus]

HazelMeade compared SJWs to 14 year old girls, troll called her sexist and claimed all gamergate supporters were supporting rape threats. Trolls logic was destroyed 50x yet troll kept repeating same stupid shit. (Irish, HM, Fluffy and a few others were also in on the fun)

[Lord Humungus]

I don't know the whole story about Gamergate... and prefer to keep it that way.

As far as I can tell: meh looking girl did something-something for positive reviews of a shitty game?

[KDN]

Once she was discovered and her activities were criticized, SJW types closed ranks around her and launched their typical crusade against gaming culture. Gamers were not as easily cowed as the SJW's are used to, and the SJW's are reacting in typical fashion.

[thom]

right...it wasn't so much her activities than the coverup. any mention on sites like reddit, etc were immediately scrubbed.

[NebulousFocus]

Even 4chan started scrubbing. This led to the creation of 8chan.

[Juice]

I don't know if most SJW targets are cowed as much as they just don't care and ignore it. The SJWs see no fighting back and assume victory.

[thom]

"meh looking" is charitable.

[Lord Humungus]

I live in a vodka-infused world 😉

[Juice]

Everyone should look up her Suicide Girls photoshoot.

[Lord Humungus]

Disgruntled employee steals train

During the ride, Rail Link employees tried contacting Brux on his employee phone, Brux told investigators. He got mad and said was not an Apple fan and smashed the phone for something to do.

He took the train to Nacco Junction before backing out onto the main line and approaching a train on track 1 near an oil field crossing, according to the affidavit. Brux finally crashed the train into another at NACCO Junction on BNSF rail mile marker 62.5.

"I wanted to see what it was like to hit something, so I hit at it," Brux said, according to the affidavit. Brux then backed up and hit the train again. He estimates the speed of both collisions was under 10 mph.

[UnCivilServant]

There aren't too many options for what to do with a stolen train. They tend to know where you are.

[db]

I bet the Pennsylvania State Police could lose a train if it went through a forest.

[UnCivilServant]

The railroads have gone to great lengths to keep track of everything on their tracks so they can avoid costly collisions and delays. They know where that train is at all times.

[Ted S.]

Unlike government sector property.

[Ted S.]

They wouldn't be searching for it, since it didn't run over a cop.

[Auric Demonocles]

But it might have assets on-board that are "suspiciously linked to drugs".

[Swiss Servator, Grundgesetz!]

*perks up*

So we can asset forfeit it???

/cop

[Bardas Phocas]

Railroads have lawyers. Lots of lawyers.
In fact, in decade, railroads will be totally made up of robots and a large law office.

[Ted S.]

They might randomly come upon the train in that case, but they wouldn't be actively searching for it to the exclusion of all else.

[Injun, as in from India]

The Great Train Robbery?

[EDG reppin' LBC]

The Pretty Good Train Robbery.

[Swiss Servator, Grundgesetz!]

The Meh Train Theft

[UnCivilServant]

A health care worker in Dallas became infected with Ebola after providing care to Thomas Eric Duncan. The Centers for Disease Control blamed the infection on a "breach in protocol."

Protocol #1 - Don't get sick

So, yeah it was a breach in protocol.

[WTF]

So, does this count as an outbreak now? Or are the ratbagging teafuckers just stupid and paranoid?

[UnCivilServant]

So far it appears to be a chain of individual patients. Not sure what the definition of 'outbreak' is.

[WTF]

According to the World Health Organization:

A disease outbreak is the occurrence of cases of disease in excess of what would normally be expected in a defined community, geographical area or season. An outbreak may occur in a restricted geographical area, or may extend over several countries. It may last for a few days or weeks, or for several years.

A single case of a communicable disease long absent from a population, or caused by an agent (e.g. bacterium or virus) not previously recognized in that community or area, or the emergence of a previously unknown disease, may also constitute an outbreak and should be reported and investigated.

So according to WHO, it seems like it is an outbreak.

[UnCivilServant]

Yeah, since Ebola is not Endemic to the New World, one patient is an outbreak here.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Outbreak is a term used in epidemiology to describe an occurrence of disease greater than would otherwise be expected at a particular time and place. It may affect a small and localized group or impact upon thousands of people across an entire continent. Two linked cases of a rare infectious disease may be sufficient to constitute an outbreak. Outbreaks may also refer to epidemics, which affect a region in a country or a group of countries, or pandemics, which describe global disease outbreaks.

[Mike M.]

And where is Cytotoxic today? He's been spending the last couple of weeks lecturing all of us ignorant peasants around here about how it's impossible that Ebola will spread in America and there's absolutely nothing for anyone to worry about.

[Cdr Lytton]

And where is Cytotoxic today?

Eating his poutine and recovering from his Kurdish fappping last night.

[d3x / dt3]

It's not like the nurse would have been cavalier about her following protocol with this pants-shittingly-terrifying disease.

It would appear that the protocol sucks.

[Slammer]

A health care worker in Dallas became infected with Ebola after providing care to Thomas Eric Duncan. The Centers for Disease Control blamed the infection on a "breach in protocol."

Well, Walking Dead did premier last night.

[Lord Humungus]

British burglar has sex with teddy bear mid-crime
Paul Mountain was caught by cops after semen inside the toy proved a match.

The 38-year-old told cops he had an "overwhelming need" for sexual relief after coming down on amphetamines.

He was burgling a shed when the warped incident happened.

Officers discovered the teddy bear with a hole cut in it and they were able to recover the DNA sample.

[SugarFree]

I'll be in my bunk.

[Ted S.]

I'm at a loss for words.

[Slammer]

Wait, what was the worse crime in Britain? Burgling or screwing the stuffed bear?

[UnCivilServant]

Building the shed without permission.

[gaijin]

^Nailed it

[Ted S.]

The same way the burglar nailed the bear?

[UnCivilServant]

No!

[Injun, as in from India]

The burglar's parents should have taught him to not rape teddy bears.

[d3x / dt3]

Stuffed gaze!

[BigT]

Teddy, show us on the human where he touched you.

[Rasilio]

Is this the dark and gritty origin story of Pedobear?

[trshmnster the terrible]

+1 law and order episode

[Fist of Etiquette]

A federal judge struck down Alaska's ban on gay marriage last night.

"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can ever imagine." And then the gay marriage ban basically turns into a ghost.

[Idle Hands]

Reports of creepy clowns carrying knives and other weapons have been scaring people in the California city of Bakersfield for the past week, police said on Sunday. In the latest incident, a person telephoned the Bakersfield Police Department on Saturday night, reporting a clown armed with a firearm, said watch commander Lieutenant Jason Matson. "We've been having sightings all over the city," Matson said. "They range from anywhere from a guy carrying a gun to a guy carrying a knife running up to houses." The Bakersfield Californian newspaper reported earlier in the week that at least some of the reports were hoaxes. Matson said he did not know whether the incidents were pranks. At least one of the reports was not a hoax - police arrested a teen on Friday who had dressed up as a clown and was chasing children on the west side of town, Matson said. The juvenile, whose name was not released, said he was doing it to perpetrate a hoax he had seen online.

I didn't realize just how imminent the danger that juggalos pose.

[Idle Hands]

Linky: Must be a slow news day on yahoo.

[waffles]

These aren't juggalos.

[Idle Hands]

The cops in that article must think that film was a documentary, that's the only way any rational being could explain there behavior.

[WTF]

Reports of creepy clowns carrying knives and other weapons have been scaring people

Good thing they are doing it in California, otherwise they would be asking to get shot.

[Idle Hands]

That was my first thought.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I may be missing something and I didn't read the whole article but is there a crime being committed by dressing up as a clown and walking around town?

[WTF]

Deliberately scaring people with knives and other weapons would be the crime.

[Doctor Whom]

Whatever is not explicitly permitted is forbidden.

[Lord Humungus]

Krugman: Obama One of the Most Successful Presidents in American History

On ABC's This Week, New York Times columnist Paul Krugman said President Obama is one of the most consequential presidents in modern American history, ranking third behind Presidents Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Lyndon Baines Johnson. Krugman explained his reasoning by saying that Obama has made important changes to the economy, implemented new environmental policies, and accomplished health-care reform. And on foreign policy, Krugman said, "He hasn't done anything really stupid and that is a big improvement over his predecessor." Krugman wrote an article for Rolling Stone magazine noting how his perception of the president has changed, and why he now believes Obama to be one of the "most successful presidents in American history."

[db]

AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Ted S.]

Consequential doesn't necessarily mean good.

Obama's presidency has also had the effect of setting race relations back at least a generation: who's going to want to elect a president you can't criticize because every criticism will bring out people screaming RACISM!!!111!!! at the top of their lungs? That's consequential, but not good.

[Pro Libertate]

Truth. . .or consequences!

[Idle Hands]

Is there any doubt that Krugman is trolling at this point. What kind of fucked up world do we live in where Johnson makes a best of list, unless said list is of 1st class assholes?

[Pro Libertate]

It's not trolling. He's just willing to say anything to bolster the Democratic party. No matter how stupid and craven it sounds.

He's gotten so bad that I'm surprised he has a job, even with that bundle of biases that is The New York Times.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Successful better show up on the back nine, because it's not on the score sheet yet.

[Auric Demonocles]

All of Obama's success is hiding in the deep ocean.

[d3x / dt3]

It will rise up like the Kraken! (Spelling?)

[Slammer]

He's gotta be fucking around. Or insane.

[WTF]

Neither, he is merely doing what he gets paid to do, which is confirming the world view of NYT readers.

[Zeb]

I wonder what Krugman's criteria for success are?

[Doctor Whom]

Being on the right team and expanding government?

[Zeb]

Then I guess he is successful. Perhaps he also includes incompetence and extravagance.

[Mike M.]

So, anything from Krugman yet on his belived France cutting back on benefits?

[hurts_donut]

Its dick girth.

[Atanarjuat]

Krugman wrote an article for Rolling Stone magazine noting how his perception of the president has changed, and why he now believes Obama to be one of the "most successful presidents in American history," assuming the metric is growing the federal government.

fixed

[Juice]

In that area, Obama doesn't hold a candle to W.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

In the movies where the evil cult is about to be brought down by the good guys, Krugman would be the second last cultist to be killed he's that committed to the cause.

[Injun, as in from India]

Or perhaps the first one to drink the kool-aid handed out by the cult's leader?

[Anonymous Coward]

On the same show, Donna Brazille thought that all four of the presidents who received the Nobel Peace Prize (America presidents getting Nobel Peace Prizes is funny) were Democrats. The host gently pointed out to her that Theodore Roosevelt was a Republican. Silence ensued.

[Injun, as in from India]

That silence was the sound of progressive heads exploding, with their "D=Good, R=Bad" notions getting inverted. Not that Teddy Roosevelt was good, or the Nobel Peace Prize is not a farce to begin with.

[Warty]

So that's where Andy Kaufman went.

[Idle Hands]

Guys it will be okay.

DALLAS ? The health care worker who tested positive for Ebola has a dog, but the mayor of Dallas says unlike in a recent Spanish case, the dog will be kept safe for eventual reunion with its owner. Mayor Mike Rawlings told USA TODAY that the dog remained in the health care worker's apartment when she was hospitalized and will soon be sent to a new location to await its owner's recovery. There are no plans to euthanize the dog, he said.
"This was a new twist," Rawlings said. "The dog's very important to the patient and we want it to be safe." There were no immediate details on the name or type of dog.

[Wicked Skin]

Hopefully the safe place is also free of any police.

[db]

"This House Protected by Pit Bull with AIDS Ebola"

[RAHeinlein]

Fortunately, the dog does not play Frisbee Golf....

[Lord Humungus]

My husband won't sleep with me

The rest of my life is stretching out before me and all I can see is a desert, devoid of lust. By now I'm afraid I've had too many lonely nights to overthink and overanalyze. I'm paralyzed with self-doubt and am irreparably terrified of rejection. How would I explain to the world that I left my marriage because I wasn't getting any? I've finally discovered the sexual woman that I want to be?and GOD is she a lot of fun!?but I am forced to hide it because my husband simply doesn't want me. I kick myself every time I become wistful and romantic, hoping this time?whenever that may be?will be different.

[Idle Hands]

If he's not getting it from you rest assured he is getting it from somewhere else.

[Zeb]

Without reading the article, I'd guess so, but for some reason I did read it and it sounds like he might be gay (either deeply in denial or on the DL) or just not into sex. They are a rare creature, but there are men who just aren't that into it.

[Trigger Warning]

Posting an article like that to a public website is a good way of ending the relationship, too. If her marriage isn't intimate enough that she can't tell her husband "I need you to nail me more often," it's either terminally dysfunctional or she isn't telling the whole story.

[trshmnster the terrible]

But, you see, she couldn't do that, because talking about sex is awkward and uncomfortable, and it's easier to write an expos? for salon!

[kinnath]

because talking about sex is awkward

Which is why college students need to be trained to ask & say yes at every moment of the encounter.

[Trigger Warning]

If I were her husband, and I read that after she posted it with no warning to or prior discussion with me, she would come home to an empty house with divorce papers on the counter. Unless she works from home. Then she could watch me pack my shit.

Maybe that's what she's going for. Give him a little public humiliation and a kick in the ass because she thinks that's easier than talking about it.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Also starting a blog about how he's an alcoholic also is super easier than, you know, not completely destroying the man's reputation to build a career writing shitty 2-cents-a-word web articles.

[RBS]

I made a decision a few weeks ago to end the marriage once and for all, honestly and truly this time, told him the what and why ? and he snapped to attention in a way that he never has before. He's been sober for three weeks and has begun addiction therapy. Sobriety has made him emotional and erratic. He follows me around like a whining puppy. I can't stand it. I tell him every day that he needs to leave. He embraces me and asks me if I feel loved. I push him away and tell him that he should have tried this six months ago, before I gave up.

She sounds like such a shitty person.

[Zeb]

Sounds like they both are.

[waffles]

So it is over and she has thoroughly trashed this man publicly. Cringe.

[gaijin]

Three probable cause theories:

1. Weight over 200
2. Husband gay (nttiawwt)
3. Extreme lack of self awareness

[Idle Hands]

it's salon, so I'm thinking all three.

[Auric Demonocles]

How would I explain to the world that I left my marriage because I wasn't getting any?

Depends on how close you are to the particular people you are talking to. If it's a really close friend: "We disagreed on sexual appetites." If it's moderate: "We had different views on relationships." If it's a bit distant: "We didn't work out." If it's random: "None of your business."

It's not like people tend to be really pushing about breakups.

[Ted S.]

Somehow I have a feeling we're not getting even 10% of the story here.

[Doctor Whom]

Husband won't have sex with wife? Blame husband.

Wife won't have sex with husband? Blame husband.

[Trigger Warning]

My favorite ones are when husbands get accused of being shallow pigs when they express frustration that their pretty wives morphed into bloated couch-potatoes after a couple kids.

It is entirely possible to love a woman and not be physically attracted to her, but that doesn't necessarily make for a happy marriage on either side.

[Fluffy]

Among my friends the usual situation is now that the wife has put on some weight, she refuses to believe that she is still attractive, so she pre-emptively freezes out the sex she is (falsely) sure her husband will now not want.

"It's not OK for you to still find me attractive if I think you shouldn't!"

[Auric Demonocles]

Would you want to find out you were married to John?

[Auric Demonocles]

On a slightly more serious note, I cannot understand the "I don't feel attractive so I don't want to have sex" attitude. It seems exactly backwards to me.

[Fluffy]

I don't know. If I was to put on my Roissy hat for a moment, I might think:

1. Attractive people, deep down, don't think unattractive people deserve sex.

2. People use the attractiveness of the female in a couple as a proxy to estimate the "hidden" attractiveness of the male.

If you're an attractive woman and you internalize these two concepts and then gain a lot of weight, you might start to think, "I don't deserve sex" and "If my husband is attracted to me in this state, he must secretly be much, much less attractive than I formerly believed." Those two beliefs in combination could pretty much stop your sex drive cold.

[Juice]

It's a woman thing. A man wants a woman that he finds attractive. A woman wants a man that makes her feel attractive.

[Auric Demonocles]

Wanting to have sex with someone indicates that they are attractive to you.

[Aloysious]

I was six months out of an abusive relationship...

I tried to read that article, I really did. Somebody makes poor choices in life.

[RBS]

I am pretty and sexy in a non-intimidating, disheveled kind of way.

This tells me you are probably not sexy at all.

[Trigger Warning]

Yeah, "non-intimidating" doesn't really mean anything to me when I decide whether or not I find a woman attractive. Maybe she means "non-intimidating to other women."

[RBS]

So this article about racism popped up while I was trying to read that.

[UnCivilServant]

That headline is so stupid it physically hurt just from the mouseover.

[DontShootMe]

And yet I was dumb enough to mouse over myself. I literally share your pain. Ow.

[Swiss Servator, Grundgesetz!]

I was warned and still hurt myself the same.

[Lord Humungus]

Salon, fighting the fight that doesn't need to be fought.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Are you washed in the blood of the Obama?

[ant1sthenes]

They died for his sins, so he's like a reverse Jesus, sort of an anti-... something.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Hundreds clashed in Hong Kong after crowds armed with crowbars and cutting tools attempted to dismantle the barricades erected by pro-democracy protesters.

Replace pro-democracy protesters with parks service bureaucrats and you have this country during the partial government shutdown.

[Auric Demonocles]

Both the missing alt-text and the Ebola outbreak can be solved by my one stop solution: dropping rocks from high up.

[Slammer]

Fem alt-text: not your average scary penis.

[Auric Demonocles]

Looking at it again with that in mind, it's terrifying.

[Ted S.]

New Zealand woman dies from falling rocks three days before road works to fix the problem were to begin

[Auric Demonocles]

Was the problem there falling rocks? Because I can solve that with other, very carefully timed falling rocks.

[Lord Humungus]

Creepy thief is stealing shoes right off women's feet

A thief with a creepy foot fetish has been yanking off the shoes of women at Brooklyn subway stations and then running off with them, according to police sources.

Cops are investigating seven total shoe-grabbing incidents, with two confirmed to be the same suspect? some on the stations' mezzanine, and others after the turnstiles, sources said.

Without making any conversation, the weirdo approaches women from behind, takes off their shoes, and runs off.

[Ted S.]

The thief knows women like to shop for shoes, and is engaging in a bit of economic stimulus.

[Injun, as in from India]

+1 Broken Window Stolen Shoe Fallacy.

[Ted S.]

Alternative joke: Who knew Rex Ryan was a thief?

[Swiss Servator, Grundgesetz!]

He might need a new career path soon.

[The Late P Brooks]

"French Economist" is like "Military Intelligence" isn't it?

[Swiss Servator, Grundgesetz!]

*narrows gaze*

[Zeb]

Well, I'm sure there was more of it before you retired.

[Swiss Servator, Grundgesetz!]

Flattery will get you everywhere

*preens*

MI is nicely limited most of the time - BDE MI guys says "we know there is X over there, and people are telling us 'Ali Baba' is threatening people and setting IEDs up the road, etc."

The big screw ups go to the big agencies DIA, CIA, etc.

[Ted S.]

Frederic Bastiat says you can go fuck yourself. :-p

[ant1sthenes]

I don't think he was an economist.

[cavalier973]

Technically, you are correct; he is more accurately described as a polemicist. However, he was correct in all his writings. And brilliant.

On a side note, it was the French Physiocrats who were the first to describe themselves as "economists".

Au moins, c'est ce qu'ils disent...

[Juice]

They did coin the term laissez-faire.

[Lord Humungus]

Gun nuts' powerful new enemy: How pediatricians are taking on the NRA

This language ("any information relating to") is so vague that it has been widely interpreted to prohibit doctors from asking patients about guns in their homes. In essence, an old-fashioned gag rule. Shakespeare, meet the NRA: a gag rule by any other name would smell as rank.

President Obama clearly sensed the threat that this language presents to pediatricians and their patients. He replied with multiple executive orders expressly authorizing the agencies to conduct gun violence research. But none explicitly reverse the ACA's moratorium on data collection of gun ownership, nor could they. A president cannot unilaterally repeal parts of enacted law.

ha.

[Wicked Skin]

Well, they meant a president can't simply repeal parts of enacted laws that he likes...

[Redmanfms]

Let me guess, presence of a gun in the home will be found to cause whooping cough...

Salon posts stupid shit. Q. E. D.

[Ted S.]

Once they fully nationalize health care, you won't be able to access a pediatrician until you answer those questions.

The correct response is for parents to tell the pediatricians to mind their own fucking business.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

"Once they fully nationalize health care,"

You could stop teasing me and wish me a Happy Canadian Thanksgiving.

[Slammer]

Happy indigenous peoples day, Rufus.

[Ted S.]

Enjoy your Kraft Dinner and poutine before retiring to your chesterfield to watch Curling For Toonies.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Ugly Americans.

[Rhywun]

My favorite Greek restaurant in Buffalo serves fries with gravy and feta. I always wondered where the hell they got that idea.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

I only know a little bit of Canadian, but let me try...

"Fuck off, Lahey!"

I think that is Canadian for Happy Thanksgiving.

[Trigger Warning]

Like I would answer such a question, anyway.

"Mr. Warning, do you own any guns?"

"None of your business, doc."

[UnCivilServant]

"I'm sorry Mister Warning, but without a completed FY(tw) form, we can't provide services, or put you in queue."

[Marshall Gill]

Would lying about owning a gun in a medical questionnaire constitute perjury? The real kind that you can get convicted for, not the government bureaucrat kind where nothing you ever say can be held against you.

[Cdr Lytton]

Just put that "all of the above answers are true to the best of my knowledge. any false answers may constitute fraud to obtain medical care and may be grounds for prosecution and/or revocation of your Obamacare" just above the signature block on the back of the form.

Good enough.

[Slammer]

Doctor: "Do you own any guns?'

Patient: "Do you?"

[thom]

Or just lie. Doesn't everybody lie to doctors? Don't doctor's just assume you're lying anyway?

[d3x / dt3]

Yes. A couple of rules-of-thumb for medical students:

Multiply any stated alcohol consumption by 5-10.

"I quit smoking" means "I quit smoking just now, when you asked that question"

Just go ahead and put "denies illicit drug use" in your template.

And now, on-topic:
Fuck the AAP for trying to turn a criminology problem into a public health problem. Don't they have, you know, infectious diseases to worry about?

[Juice]

But that's a big YES! Just say no. It's not like it's illegal.

[Injun, as in from India]

Look at this comment by "The Shadow of Light" on that Salon page:

Famed gun shooting performer Annie Oakley was 8 years old... Our Constitution permits gun ownership for legitimate personal self-defense.

This guy misses the idea that the right is ours to begin with, and that the Bill of Rights merely protects that right from legislative infringement. BIG DIFFERENCE. Also, he rambles about 2-parent families which is really irrelevant.

[Lord Humungus]

Exclusive - Privately, Saudis tell oil market: get used to lower prices

Saudi Arabia is quietly telling oil market participants that Riyadh is comfortable with markedly lower oil prices for an extended period, a sharp shift in policy that may be aimed at slowing the expansion of rival producers including those in the U.S. shale patch.

Some OPEC members including Venezuela are clamoring for urgent production cuts to push global oil prices back up above $100 a barrel. But Saudi officials have telegraphed a different message in private meetings with oil market investors and analysts recently: the kingdom, OPEC's largest producer, is ready to accept oil prices below $90 per barrel, and perhaps down to $80, for as long as a year or two, according to people who have been briefed on the recent conversations.

[waffles]

So this fucks Venezuela and Russia, but no real harm to domestic. I'm okay with this.

[Juice]

Sounds like another US/Saudi deal.

[db]

So basically, for years we have been paying ridiculously high gas prices to fill up Saudi coffers to enable a price slash to deliver the coup de grace to Putin and Venezuela? Hmmm.

[Injun, as in from India]

I think Iran is the real target here. The Saudis and Iranians have had their Sunni/Shia tussle for a long time.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Ebola in Dallas?

Looks like I picked the wrong week to move to Texas.

[db]

Seriously, you.moved again?

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Yuuuuuup. I got made an offer I couldn't refuse.

Banjos is stuck in DC for two more weeks then she'll be here with me. These guys needed me here right away, so I'm in a hotel for the next few weeks at least.

[Swiss Servator, Grundgesetz!]

Wait...what? OK, we need details.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Ah, Kara hated it there and a company I've been dancing around with for over a year now finally offered me more than I had originally asked for and showed me the financials (since they're relatively young) and then they opened the checkbook and offered me a boatload of,money.

I'll have to move three times in the next three years to,do,site development and building of sales/support staff, but after that I'll be in charge of the entire show east of the Mississippi.

Just,too,good to pass up. And as an added bonus it looks like Kara's firm is gonna let her work from home at a contractor rate.

[TwB]

Hell, I would have moved too.

[SugarFree]

Only two things come from Texas.

[UnCivilServant]

I don't know, they've moved a lot of factories there, so exports are diversified these days.

[WTF]

And you don't much look like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down.

[DEG]

Congratulations!

[MJGreen]

Sounds like a very nice situation. Until you get the ebola.

[db]

Sounds cool. Good luck to ya!

[TwB]

Must have been some offer. Good luck, sir.

[Zeb]

"Leave DC" would be a pretty good offer, I would imagine.

[Lord Humungus]

Escape from DC - Hordes of Lobbyists and Tourists, all clawing to get into your wallet.

[Fist of Etiquette]

It's a mess in Texas.

[Swiss Servator, Grundgesetz!]

HEY VIRUS, DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS!

[NoVAHockey]

you've left VA? so soon?

[trshmnster the terrible]

Welcome to the lonestar state! Everything is bigger down here, including the ebola outbreaks!

[Aloysious]

I'm looking forward to threads on artisanal BBQ. Pros/cons.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

I'll get right on times soon as I can find some pulled pork so I can barbecue for real.

[UnCivilServant]

Even I know you start with slab pork and don't start pulling the meat apart until you've cooked it. If you're not cooking it yourself you're not barbeueing, you're eating out.

[Aloysious]

And sweet onions. The Texas 1015 is pretty good. Not as good as the Vidalia or Walla Walla Sweet, but not bad. Grilled, they are the bomb.

[Zeb]

I thought barbecuing for real in Texas meant beef.

[Cdr Lytton]

Mmmm... I know what I've having for lunch today.

Congrats Sloopy!

[Ted S.]

Cut Alaska in two and make Texas the third-biggest state.

[Zeb]

Is there a minimum population for statehood? One half of Alaska would almost certainly have very few people in it.

[UnCivilServant]

I think it's 30,000 people.

[Ted S.]

60,000. The Fairbanks census borough has over 80k people, so that's in one half of the state and Anchorage in the other.

[db]

Please send pics of your biohazard suit's belt buckle and ten gallon hat.

[trshmnster the terrible]

We don't joke about that down here

[Spoonman.]

Where in Texas?

[CatoTheElder]

I used to think you were an Inca.

[Lord Humungus]

SNL Ratings at All-Time Low

After the departure of several high-profile members, Saturday Night Live's ratings have been sliding downward. Even with popular comedian Bill Hader hosting the show, the ratings hit a a season low.

The ratings for NBC's venerable late-night program started sliding last season, and the slump continues this fall. Ironically, with one of the members of SNL's most recent golden generation, Hader, back as host, SNL hit lows in the ratings.

Hader's show rating were lower than Sarah Silverman's ratings as host. Hader tied host Charlize Theron with the lowest ratings ever for the 18-49 age cohort..

[UnCivilServant]

I think people had been watching out of habit rather than humor. Now they're getting over it.

[TwB]

I'm not surprised. SNL hasn't been very good for a long time and after the most recent cast exodus, I figured that last season and this season would be pretty dreadful and so far, I'm right.

[Ted S.]

There's no more Don Pardo, either. 🙁

[Rufus J. Firefly]

The guy who took over seemed a little...flat.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Even their takes and parodies on game shows are formulaic and unoriginal at this point.

[Game of Thrones fan]

I miss the Celebrity Jeopardy skits.

Category: Therapists

Sean Connery: I'll take THE RAPISTS for 200!

[thom]

I quit watching last year. Every single skit is a fucking TV parody. They must have the laziest writers in history.

[SugarFree]

I fast forwarded through the whole thing just to get to Stefon.

[Apple]

This is a rebuilding season, like '85 and '94. Hopefully, they'll concentrate on recruiting in the off-season.

[Rhywun]

I have tuned in for 15 minutes once per season for the last 4 or 5 years. Each time it was less funny than before. Not even going to bother anymore.

[Homple]

"After the departure of several high-profile members..."

Laraine Newman, John Belushi, Jane Curtin, Gilda Radner, Dan Aykroyd, Garrett Morris, Chevy Chase.

In case you wonder who they were.

[Lord Humungus]

Why can't they both lose?

Debate Night in Kentucky Gives Grimes Chance to Shake Things Up

Watch for three subjects to dominate the discussion: coal, the minimum wage and President Obama. Mr. McConnell will try to depict Ms. Grimes as a supporter of federal environmental policies that seek to curtail the coal industry.

The proposed minimum wage increase is widely popular in Kentucky, but Mr. McConnell is expected to argue that it would cost the state jobs.

Ms. Grimes will try to cast Mr. McConnell as out of touch with the state and use economic issues to appeal to female voters, among whom her support is surprisingly weak.

Mr. McConnell will try to link Ms. Grimes and President Obama ? whom many Kentuckians dislike ? as often as possible.

[Lord Humungus]

GAO: Obamacare abortion rules widely ignored

The report, commissioned by House Republican leadership and obtained by POLITICO on Monday night, found that 15 insurers in a sample of 18 are selling Obamacare plans that do not segregate funds to cover abortion (except in cases of rape, incest or the mother's life) from their Obamacare subsidies.

The Affordable Care Act requires that insurers collect separate payments from customers for abortion coverage so that taxpayer money in the form of subsidies do not cover abortions. Adoption of the complex payment scheme ? which essentially requires customers to send two separate payments to their insurers ? was pivotal to getting the health law through Congress. Anti-abortion Democrats brokered the arrangement shortly before the law passed, threatening to vote against it without the restrictive language.

[Auric Demonocles]

The law is the law is the law!

...but only for Republicans.

[UnCivilServant]

I am the Law!

/Dredd

[Aloysious]

Anthrax

I am the Law

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rVFi6qkPHE

[Ted S.]

Did anybody really expect this part of the law to be obeyed?

[The Late P Brooks]

Brux then backed up and hit the train again. He estimates the speed of both collisions was under 10 mph.

F=MV

I wouldn't want to be standing on the back bumper of the other train.

[UnCivilServant]

Most train cars have buffers to absorb low-speed impacts like that. The odds of damage to the vehicle are small - but yeah, don't get between them.

[Slammer]

What was the old story about the guy smashed between the couplings but still alive? And they set up a tent and his wife and priest came to give him last rites and stuff, then they unhooked the cars and he fell in two pieces? Was that an urban myth used for train worker safety classes or was that a real deal?

[SugarFree]

Urban myth

[Slammer]

Thanks. It's a cool story, though.

[Lord Humungus]

I remember an entire Homicide: Life on the Streets episode around this.

[Rhywun]

Yup, trapped between a subway and the platform.

[Zeb]

F=Mv^2/2

You're thinking of momentum.

[Doctor Whom]

That's kinetic energy.

[Zeb]

Shit, you're right. F=ma. Though energy is probably more relevant than force or momentum.

[Clich? Bandit]

yeah...you could have said F = MA but whatevs.

[Zeb]

Yes, I fail. Boo.

[d3x / dt3]

Don't get me started!

[Doctor Whom]

p = mv

[SugarFree]

PIA=RP

[Game of Thrones fan]

Y = C + G + I + NX

[Juice]

WKRP

[Emmerson Biggins]

e^(i*pi) = -1

[The Late P Brooks]

"Dammit, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a physicist!"

[The Late P Brooks]

From the dim and distant past, I remember it as "Force equals Mass times Velocity."

Wrong? Insufficiently sophisticated?

Sue me. Get the fuck off the railroad tracks.

[UnCivilServant]

Force is Mass times Accelleration (decelleration is accelleration in the opposite direction). So, yeah, a large mass being decellerated from 10mph to zero will require (and exert) a great dead of force.

[trshmnster the terrible]

"a great dead of force."

Nice Freudian slip! Almost John quality.

[Lord Humungus]

Forget it, Brooks, it's Engineer-Town

[Zeb]

Wrong. But a common mistake. Of course I fucked up kinetic energy and force, and I have to actually use a little Newtonian mechanics sometimes.

[Auric Demonocles]

I'm pretty sure everyone uses some Newtonian mechanics daily.

[UnCivilServant]

But how often do you go through the math of it?

[Zeb]

Yes, I didn't mean my intuitive understanding of how things move.

[DEG]

Those poor bastards in Bolivia. Evo Morales declares victory in the Bolivian presidential election.

http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/12/.....hpt=hp_bn2

[Rhywun]

He even looks a little like Tom Zarek....

[UnCivilServant]

Thank VMware for snapshots.

I have to throw away two hours work because I put the wrong configuration setting in way back when, but I didn't lose everything done up to that point because I'd been diligent in taking snapshots.

Yay!

[DEG]

Fauxcahontas speaks!

http://money.cnn.com/2014/10/1.....l?iid=Lead

The article links to the Salon interview. I'm not going to give Salon page clicks, but the summary claims Warren says she doesn't plan to run in 2016 for president.

[DEG]

Doh't!

Someone beat me to it:

http://reason.com/blog/2014/10.....nt_4827037

That's what I get for not checking Reason on Sunday evening.

[The Late P Brooks]

Bloomberg has been running bits and pieces of an interview with some author whining abut how that evil bastard Jeff Bezos is trying to destroy the nobility of authorship, and warp the book business into a horrifying apocalyptic landscape of "consumer commodity marketing". And (GASP!) low prices.

"Muh FEELZ! Muh beautiful, beautiful FEELZ!"

These guys are trying to portray themselves as some sort of noble guild of monkish scriveners bringing enlightenment into society. For every Thomas McGuane, there are ten thousand people churning out stuff like the "Idiot's Guide to House Flipping" and "A Pictorial History of the Martini".

My heartstrings remain unplucked.

[UnCivilServant]

Bullshit. I stopped reading Trads when I kept running into published works where I have literally exclaimed "I write better than this!" and discarded it. The gatekeepers are a deadweight loss on the market now that the capital costs of publication have gone towards nil.

[Lord Humungus]

How is your book campaign going? Good sales?

I've been thinking of jumping back into the game with another post-apocalypse book but the gumption still isn't there.

[UnCivilServant]

I broke even and made a few bucks. I'm in the final edits of the second book, it's set for a release date on black friday. I've scheduled a sale on the first book to correspond to the first week the second is available. Also, we've begun production of an audiobook version of the first book (not due until January 2015). I've been drafting the third book, a pile of stories for an anthology and a side novel from an alternate perspective.

[Fluffy]

It makes more sense that you realize that the currency of traditional publishing has always been prestige.

Vanishingly few authors made a living wage directly off of advances or royalties, historically. If you sold movie rights, you might do OK. But sales of books? That wasn't how literary authors kept the lights on.

Literary authors kept the lights on by trading off the prestige of being published to get genius-type grants, professorial gigs, nonprofit sinecures, appearance fees, etc.

That's what Amazon's author enemies are really afraid of losing. A guy like James Patterson is afraid of losing his assembly line, marketing arm, and product placement opportunities - but the rank and file are afraid of losing their prestige credential and having nothing to replace it but...actual book sales. Without prestige they won't eat. And without prestige a lot of them wouldn't find life worth living, either.

[Bardas Phocas]

The only reason I'm writing a book is to beat my sister out of that prestige marker.

I'm dedicating it to Spite.

[Lord Humungus]

It is depressing to see how on of my fav authors - Philip K. Dick - was pretty much broke his entire life. And he wrote reams of material. I imagine his estate is raking in some good money now due to the movie biz.

[Fluffy]

And Philip K. Dick was broke when short-form science fiction still paid a pretty decent price per word.

So if you were one of the guys the major editors liked, you could eke out a living doing shorts.

And even though Dick was more talented and creative, and had more philosophical insight into the human condition, than any literary-fiction wunderkind of the last half-century, he was still a "hack genre author" and not the guy Amazon's enemies are fighting for.

[SugarFree]

He was broke most of his life due to alimony and child support. He didn't have a job after his radio store days in the 50s, which is pretty impressive considering he refused to go to cons or other promotional events and didn't compromise to suit tastes.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

My wife does the accounting for the Edgar Rice Burroughs trust. Burroughs did well as a writer. And yes, his heirs are very happy that great grandpa Edgar wrote all those books.

[cavalier973]

The publisher's sent him a check for $50 (or $500), with the phrase "For All Rights." He sent it back uncashed, and negotiated a better deal. He became wealthy in his own lifetime, if I remember correctly, due to movie deals, comic book deals, lunch box images, etc.

His job was editing the advertisements in magazines; he read the stories, and told his wife he could write better stories, and she said "Well, why don't you?" So he wrote "The Princess of Mars" stories.

~cavalier973's legendary history based on facts he half remembers.

[SugarFree]

Yup. Without prestige most of them would have to work day jobs. [shudder]

What's the point of writing novels if you still have to work?

[UnCivilServant]

I write to entertain myself.

Selling the byproduct is just a side job.

[SugarFree]

I write to make my wife think I'm not a lazy.

[cavalier973]

Hey, "The Idiot's Guide to House Flipping Using Historical Pictures of Martinis" has made my aunt $5,342 a week!

[NebulousFocus]

Rachel Maddow, the biggest star on the MSNBC cable network, just posted her lowest quarterly ratings results ever.
"Morning Joe," MSNBC's signature morning program, scored its second-lowest quarterly ratings, reaching an average of just 87,000 viewers in the key news demographic group.

People don't want to watch unattractive cheerleaders?

[Fluffy]

87,000 is podcast-listeners territory.

Why are these guys more famous and respected than YouTube video posters again?

[UnCivilServant]

I have no idea who these MSNBC people are, but I can name a number of internet reviewers.

[Anonymous Coward]

Because they have studios, entrance music, slick graphics, and talk fast....

Wait, it's because other journos and Beltway insiders go on their show.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

BREAKING NEWS: People don't like watching ugly people issue smug and condescending opinions about politics that assume the worst qualities of humanity in people who disagree with them.

[Juice]

And on Morning Joe they try to be jovial and gregarious in that morning news/talk style, but they are all such fake shells of actual people that it comes across as totally shallow and a bit creepy.

[DEG]

I'm looking through the later weekend threads in between running tests at work. Should I skip the GamerGate thread?

[Anonymous Coward]

No, you shouldn't. It's very instructive if you want to take a look into the intellectual black hole that is "Social Justice."

[DEG]

Sounds like there's no difference between reading that thread and hanging out at Harvard Square. Hmm.... Harvard Square at least has a few places I can drink and I'm at the office.

[Auric Demonocles]

Harvard Square also has a decent population of young attractive women.

And also Border Cafe.

[DEG]

Border Cafe is good.

"Attractive"? Well, for New England yes.

[Zeb]

Don't forget the amusing crazy people. I guess you get plenty of that on Reason threads.

[Emmerson Biggins]

Border cafe is good. For New England Tex Mex. I.e. not good.

[DEG]

I've started diving in. It's as bad as I thought it would be.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

The Centers for Disease Control blamed the infection on a "breach in protocol."

Where is C-3PO when you need him?

[d3x / dt3]

A protocol that can be so easily breached is a BAD FUCKING PROTOCOL.

It's almost as if the CDC doesn't know what the fuck they were doing! Must be because of all those budget cuts! Or maybe because they are using all the money on social engineering projects and not, you know, performing their core mission.

[The Late P Brooks]

Vanishingly few authors made a living wage directly off of advances or royalties, historically. If you sold movie rights, you might do OK. But sales of books? That wasn't how literary authors kept the lights on.

All those snooty geniuses who hung out at the Algonquin may have felt a twinge of guilt when they boarded the Zephyr for Hollywood, but they went where the money was.

[Rhywun]

Hundreds clashed in Hong Kong after crowds armed with crowbars and cutting tools attempted to dismantle the barricades erected by pro-democracy protesters.

I find it encouraging that it's mostly businesspeople clashing with the protesters rather than government thugs.

[The Late P Brooks]

What's the point of writing novels if you still have to work?

"I just mount tires at Firestone to keep in shape, and to meet interesting people. I'm really a novelist."

[d3x / dt3]

Wait - is "mounting tires" like the teddy bear story above?

[Swiss Servator, Grundgesetz!]

Zing!

[SugarFree]

Marines.

[Rasilio]

"Ebola and what else?"

Tony Romo

[Trigger Warning]

Get real, lady, up thread there was a guy who fucked a teddy bear...

Okay, that shit's funny.

[The DerpRider]

/salute!

[Swiss Servator, Grundgesetz!]

*applause*

[Ted S.]

I thought Marines came from South Carolina or San Diego.