Secret Service Chief Steps Down, Florida Cops Behave Badly, Pat Roberts Polling Poorly: P.M. Links

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  • Julia Pierson, it's your turn to embarrass the administration.
    Secret Service

    In the wake of the apparent competency gap at the Secret Service, Director Julia Pierson is stepping down.

  • Meanwhile, the man charged with jumping the fence in the White House and making it inside before being stopped has pleaded not guilty.
  • Florida Cop News, Part One: A Tallahassee officer has been put on leave during an investigation that he Tazed a 62-year-old woman in the back for no apparent reason.
  • Florida Cop News, Part Two: The city of Waldo, known for being one of the nation's worst speed traps, has voted to disband its police department. The department was being investigated by the state for many issues, including ticket quotas.
  • The latest poll has Sen. Pat Roberts (R-Kansas) trailing behind independent candidate Greg Orman, by five points.
  • The ceasefire in Urkaine may be unravelling after 11 were killed in shelling that struck a schoolyard and bus stop in Donetsk.
  • Some school children came into contact with the man in Texas diagnosed with the Ebola virus, which is still not a reason to panic.

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  1. In the wake of the apparent competency gap at the Secret Service, Director Julia Pierson is stepping down.

    She must not have been from Chicago.

      1. The saddest part of that comment was that he also referenced the expert judgement of Joe Biden as being a deciding factor in his decision.

      1. I hear Nome is looking for TSA pat down specialists.

    1. From what I overheard among some of the Dems in my office watching the press conference, she must have been anti-Obama.

      I don’t discuss politics with my coworkers.

    2. Yeesh, from the picture she looks more interested in protecting her supersized Happy Meal than anything else.

      1. Biden looks like he’d hit it.

        1. Bubba would.

          1. Bubba would did.

      2. But she takes full responsibility for that!

      3. I was thinking she could now be a spokesman for Krispy Kreme.

  2. Some school children came into contact with the man in Texas diagnosed with the Ebola virus, which is still not a reason to panic.

    Build the damn Ebola fence!

    1. Unless you panic first and get the supplies of rubber gloves, face masks and canned food before they run out.

    2. More importantly, what laws can we pass to prevent future outbreaks of disease? There’s CHILDRUNZ involved now!

  3. Tha fuck?

    In Canada, a Roman Catholic priest has been convicted for a multitude of heinous sex crimes including the rape of at least 12 boys, 10 girls, and a sled dog.
    Earlier this month, the now defrocked Catholic priest, Belgian-born Eric Dejaeger, 67, was convicted of 31 counts of sexual offenses against children and one count of bestiality.
    Dejaeger was found guilty of raping dozens of Inuit children and a sled dog in the Canadian Arctic, where he worked alongside other local priests for decade

    1. …including the rape of at least 12 boys, 10 girls, and a sled dog.

      So he’s open-minded!

      1. It appears that he had very catholic tastes🙂

    2. …yeah.

    3. I got nothing. Wow.

    4. On the sled?

      1. You ever try to get a dog into position on an icy sled? Not easy.

        1. “When is a Husky a Canadian Mountie?”

        2. What is good foreplay for a sled dog?

          1. A brisk run?

          2. Two greenies and a promise of a car ride.

    5. In his defense, those Belgian Malinois are lookers!

      http://upload.wikimedia.org/wi…..ois_01.jpg

    6. Fuckin’ Belgians.

    7. Hey, fucking animals and little kids is a lifestyle choice. How dare you judge.

      And did you see the sled dog? The little whore was asking for it.

      1. Dammit, John. We just learned down-thread that there is no such thing as a funny rape joke. The feminists were super cereal about it.

      2. To be fair, “bow wow” and “do me now” sound about the same through the confessional

      3. He was obviously born that way. When did you choose to NOT sleep with dogs?

    8. …including the rape of at least 12 boys, 10 girls, and a sled dog.

      Diversity!

    9. I’m surprised that they got the bestiality conviction. Huskies make notoriously bad witnesses on the stand.

  4. The city of Waldo, known for being one of the nation’s worst speed traps, has voted to disband its police department. The department was being investigated by the state for many issues, including ticket quotas.

    You know what would have fixed that problem? More ticket revenue.

    1. It’s hard to avoid the speed trap when it is so hard to find.

      1. It’s the whole town. And, to be fair, that whole stretch of 301 is fraught with ticketing landmines.

        I drive through there quite a bit when going up to North Carolina–it’s the fastest way to go. But in those towns with speed traps, especially Waldo, I’m careful to go a little below their already ridiculously low speed limits.

        1. ridiculously low speed limits.

          Nothing like cruising through a 65 into 35 into a 25.

          1. Closest I came to getting ticketed in one of those towns was when we stopped to eat at Wendy’s and I forgot about where I was when I pulled the car out of the parking lot. Fortunately, my wife remembered in time.

          2. The smaller the town the more likely it is that their one stupid fat policeman is sitting right there waiting for you.

        2. *whoooooshhhh*

        3. First Hampton, now Waldo. I’m rooting for Lawtey to complete the trifecta.

          1. Lawtey is the one I almost got a ticket in. It was an Arby’s, not a Wendy’s. As a rule, I usually try to avoid doing any business at all in those towns, the fuckheads.

      2. It’s not that hard. Somebody put up a billboard a couple miles north of town warning about the speed trap. Whoever this unknown hero is has saved me (an inveterate lead foot) hundreds of dollars. I only drive through twice a year, so without the sign I’d probably forget and get busted again.

  5. Meanwhile, the man charged with jumping the fence in the White House and making it inside before being stopped has pleaded not guilty.

    It is a public building.

    1. Jesus man, slow down. Take a breath.

      1. WELL NO ONE ELSE IS STEPPING UP.

        1. It’s the caffeine in the dark chocolate.

          1. It’s the Meth in the speed-ball.

            1. It’s the Meth in the speed-ball SpaghettiOs.

              1. +1 soiled spoon

    2. What we really need is another government shutdown so that the WH can close its doors. “Sorry intruders, come back after we agree to spend beyond sanity.”

      1. I’m surprised they don’t have a fake invasion of the White House where they tell us that Obama had to take down the intruder himself.

        1. I see Pro Lib is Ready for Hillary.

          1. I did work for a short time for the Clinton White House, so maybe their strategery rubbed off on me.

            1. As what? Whore steward? Whore corpse disposer?

              1. After they’re dead they’re just… whores. Who probably would have loved Whore Island.

              2. It was a fellowship, where I told fellows to go away on a ship so the president would have free, unfettered access to the interns.

                I was there in 1995, same as her Monicaness. I never met her, but I like to think that, but for my presence, they’d never have met.

            2. That’s interesting. What sort of work if you don’t mind sharing that info? (and without compromising your identity)

              1. Mostly agency-whipping stuff. I was a fellow, so just policy grunt work for the most part. Some interesting stuff and occasionally got to do things just because no one else was available, but still pretty minor in the end.

              2. Cigar keeper?

                1. More cigar enabler.

                  I only went to one function–a staff party–with the president and first lady in attendance. And didn’t talk to either, though I suppose I could’ve if I were a political asshole who gave a shit.

                  I did meet the Chief of Staff, who more recently ran the CIA and DoD. But he never writes, never calls.

          2. Everytime I hear “Ready for Hillary”, I picture a guy doing a goatsie. And of course, I am promptly disgusted.

            1. I saw a car with a #Hillary2016 bumper sticker yesterday.

              Future ad for the Repubs:
              “Why is the Hillary campaign encouraging distracted driving? How much more blood will be on your hands, Mrs. Clinton?”

            2. Heckuva meme there, Brownie!

    3. Obama should declare amnesty and offer him a job with Secret Service.

    4. From the comments on Instapundit (paraphrased):

      “He probably spent more time in Security briefings than Obama did.”

  6. Feminist approved Halloween costumes

    My favorite posts recently have been about Osh-Tisch, a Native American two spirit woman and warrior, Petra Herrerra, a Mexican woman who disguised herself as a man to fight in the Mexican Revolution, and Noor Inayat Khan, an Indian-British-American spy who served as the only radio operator in occupied Paris during World War II.

    From there, move on to Take Back Halloween, a blog created by the Real History Project where you’ll find all sorts of low-cost DIY costume ideas for women that go well beyond “sexy [insert ANYTHING AT ALL].” Some of my favorite costume ideas: La Sir?ne, the goddess of the sea in Haitian Voudou, Queen Liliuokalani, the last reigning monarch of the Kingdom of Hawaii, Marie Laveau, one of the most legendary and mysterious Voodoo priestesses ever, and Bessie Coleman, the first African-American woman to earn a pilot’s license.

    And before you hit the streets on the 30th, be sure to review this advice on how not to be a racist piece of shit on Halloween to help guide friends and neighbors in their outfit choices.

    1. And before you hit the streets on the 30th…

      I don’t want to read the link, so is Take Back Halloween supposed to happen a day early? Is this so everyone else can say “Hey, look at those crazy people who don’t know Halloween is tomorrow”?

    2. “Help guide friends and neighbour in their outfit choices”=”Be an annoying, whiny cunt.”

      1. Yep.

        As far as I understand, women are not forced to dress up as sexy Chewbacca. Rather, they must actually want to and enjoy doing it once (or multiple) times a year!

        1. “I have yet to meet a woman who doesn’t dress sexy on Halloween. Witch? No, sir. Sexy witch. Freddy Krueger? Nope! Sexy Freddy Krueger. Umm. Sexy Freddy Krueger.”

          Indeed.

    3. Sexy Feminist: Wear nothing but a flannel shirt and an expression of extreme indignation.

    4. If someone goes as Sexy Queen Liliuokalani, what would the author think?

    5. help guide…

      Stop right there, and stick your “help” right back up your ass.

      1. “Of course the intention was not to offend anyone. That’s the last thing that I ever imagined that would happen, to be very honest. It never crossed my mind.”

        Schmuck.

    6. Yeah, happy cultural appropriation season, everyone.

    7. I was gonna try “sexy Hillary Clinton”. My pant suit would be hot pants, but the rest would be all frumpy Hillary, including those boring blocky shoes she wears.

      1. {looks askance at KK}…………………………….Go on.

        1. It’s the surest way not to be groped by all the dudes wearing Bill Clinton costumes.

          1. Well, the “Sexy Robert Shaw’s Quint” idea down-thread IS intriguing.

    8. My son is going to be a shark. I’m going to stop trimming my hair and beard and go for Richard Dreyfuss. My wife will probably spend most of Halloween pretending we’re not married.

      1. That’s pretty awesome! Your wife could dress as Robert Shaw’s Quint.

        1. Or, “Sexy Robert Shaw’s Quint”.

          1. Still less bilious than “Sexy” Hill– nope. Can’t even type it. Not after reading SF’s slashfic.

        2. I thought Robert Shaw was a guy. A manly guy even. I had no idea he was transgendered (with a real quint and everything?)!

      2. Just keep telling her “This means something. This is really important.” I’m sure she’ll come around.

        1. (well wrong movie, but close enough)

    9. I have a friend who is half Vietnamese and his wife is black. They came to my Halloween party a couple of years ago, he dressed as a VC irregular and she as herself…

      “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.”

      1. How are their kids doing with CPS?

        1. Their only young ‘uns are a few German Shepherds…she hates kids and shows the Shepherds.

          1. Hopefully not to Belgian-born Catholic priests…

            1. +1 tail lift

      2. Your friends are racist pieces of shit.

        (but seriously, that’s awesome)

    10. The author can fuck off. I sure as hell don’t tell my friends and neighbors what to wear or lecture them on their choices. That’s their business, not mine.

      Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m what’s wrong with society. If only we’d nag each other more often about our moral and cultural inferiority.

      1. Why would you lick a bass (as in the popular freshwater game fish)?

        1. Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it, brother.

          1. OK, but I draw the line at Northern Gar.

    11. If I went as Marie Laveau, wouldn’t I be a cultural-appropriating, racist piece of shit?

    12. sexy [insert ANYTHING AT ALL]

      Don’t mind if I do!

    1. Not what the link says…talks about the 6 July Appeals court decision

      1. Oops, my mistake. Here’s the ruling from the 29th.

        ezell-v-chicago-decision-09292014.pdf

    2. FIFY

      Supreme Court Strikes Shoots down Chicago’s de facto ban on gun ranges

  7. A Tallahassee officer has been put on leave during an investigation that he Tazed a 62-year-old woman in the back for no apparent reason.

    Standard resistance level check.

    1. I don’t get what that officer was thinking. SOP is to taze the 62-year-olds in the front.

      1. Inner thigh… You get a lot more ‘jump’ out of the inner thigh.

        1. “OOOOOOHH, Officer!!”

    2. You wouldn’t turn your back on a bear or a mountain lion, why would you turn your back on a cop? But yeah, the video is a pure example of what you get for disrespect of cop.

  8. I would have expected the p.m. links to contain reference to Oslo telling the IOC to pound sand.

  9. Florida Cop News, Part Two: The city of Waldo, known for being one of the nation’s worst speed traps

    Also known for being the subject of really lame jokes when trying to locate it on a map.

      1. Maybe you were too subtle?

    1. I once tried to google some Waldo/Carmen Sandiego slashfic, but I couldn’t find it anywhere.

      1. Where in Waldo is Carmen Sandiego?

  10. independent candidate Greg Orman

    Orman is about as independent as the Independents in the North Korea Supreme People’s Assembly.

  11. The ceasefire in Urkaine…

    Is that where the Urkobold lives?

    1. Yes. It’s a suburb of Taintsville.

      1. And it’s located right next to Wartlonia.

        1. Oh, you mean the ranch with all of the muffalo? Still not sure what those things are, exactly.

          1. Isn’t it overrun with monkeys too?

            1. It was, but they’ve been cross-breeding with the pythons. No longer a problem.

            2. Over FLOWN with monkeys.

          2. John’s favorite meat.

        1. Dude.

  12. USA Today features a friend of mine who often gets email intended for Jimbo Fisher. Jerry’s stories about the shit he reads are hilarious. His FB during the various Jameis Winston affairs have had me rolling.

  13. A Tallahassee officer has been put on leave during an investigation that he Tazed a 62-year-old woman in the back for no apparent reason.

    “Tazed a woman for no reason.”? Wuss.

    A *real* man would have punched an 80-yo man in the face and thrown him to the floor because of a polite request to stop cursing.

    1. Reading that link left me with a burning question:

      What’s disporderly conduct?

    2. Florida Man is out of control.

  14. With Boardwalk Empire shining a light on Joe Kennedy and all his talk of creating a dynasty, it was so much fun reading Ron Bailey’s post on Robert Jr today. That the Kennedys have been reduced to a blubbering nincompoop running futile campaigns against climate change and vaccines makes me smile.

  15. Good men don’t let women get raped. So why aren’t you guys doing enough?

    Men, you need to do more. Maybe you don’t think you’re supposed to help stop rape ? maybe you think that’s up to women. Or maybe you don’t know where to start.

    Whenever you tell a rape joke, you may think everyone else just assumes that you don’t really think it’s funny. But that’s not necessarily true. Because if there’s a potential rapist around you, which is always a possibility, you’re essentially telling them that what they do is normal. Funny, even. You may not think there’s a survivor of sexual violence around, but that is even more likely, and you just made her ? or him! ? feel awful. I’m pretty sure these are not outcomes you want to be a party to.

    Don’t tell me not to make rape jokes. Tell rapists not to rape.

    1. No, but don’t you see? By telling rape jokes it makes you partially responsible for rape, that’s rape culture! Because rapists are not autonomous individuals who should take responsibility for their actions, they’re easily manipulated blank slates who will do things based on off-colour jokes.

      I remember Penn once criticized this stance as ‘showing sympathy for the rapist’.

      1. To be fair, this does make me sympathize with the rapist.

      2. Rape jokes in which women are the target are heinous.

        Rape jokes about men in prison is hilarious!

        There’s a difference

        1. Kinda like crotch injury slapstick?

    2. I’m gonna call up all those rapists I know right now and give them such a talking to!

    3. you may think everyone else just assumes that you don’t really think it’s funny

      What part of ‘joke’ don’t you understand? Do I have to slap you in the face with my cock to make you understand? I’ll be wearing a red nose and big floppy shoes while I do it.

    4. Well, rape jokes are the mark of a total douchebag, but so is policing the speech of others.

      1. Hey, I like rape j….WAIT A MINUTE

      2. Yeah, and only worthless comedians make jokes about rape, like that lame ass Carlin.

        /non-thinking

    5. But feminist jokes are okay right?

      “THAT’s NOT FUNNY!”

    6. I can’t remember even hearing a rape joke?

      I must lead a sheltered life.

      1. Do they tell these jokes on that MTV you kids watch?

      2. The blackjack dealer at one casino in Vegas made some rape jokes when my parents and I were playing once. Not all that funny, I gotta tell ya. He was a standup comic in his spare time and would practice his schtick at the tables. I told him to shelve those jokes.

        1. That’s why I don’t here them, I avoid standup comics because most are not funny, they insult or say something discusting which causes a reaction but for me its just stupid and not funny.

      3. I understand most rape joke victims never report hearing one.

        How’s that?

        1. It is as your name.

          🙂

      4. A guy gets thrown into a prison cell with a large, imposing dude. After the door slams shut the big guy says, “Here in prison we have relationships. Do you want to be the Mama or the Papa?”

        The guy figures he’s got to be happy with a choice so he says, “I’ll be the Papa.”

        The big guy says, “OK, Papa, come over here and suck Mama’s dick”

        That’s about the only rape joke I know.

        … Hobbit

    7. Why aren’t we guys doing enough? Well, if you let us carry our weapons more freely, may be we could do something. Heck, may be even YOU could do something. But, I digress…

      1. ^^This, I 100% agree with. I’ve told this anecdote before, but I will again: I mentioned being a gun owner on someone’s Facebook thread. Some earnest, beta male asswipe asked “honestly, why would you want a gun” (I can just hear his soft, whiny cadence in my head). My answer? “Feminism”.

        Boom.

        1. Nice. I had an idiot friend/co-worker once say something about how it was stupid to want to defend yourself with a gun, he would just hand his wallet over if he was mugged, it’s not worth getting into violence over. And I was like “how about if I’m raped?” Shut him up right quick.

          1. Then he would still hand his wallet over.

          2. Everyone knows the effective defense against rape is to piss yourself and scream “I’m on my period”

            1. Over the weekend, my girlfriend’s Pomeranian jumped on my chest and began to give my face the tongue bath of a thousand licks.

              I managed to gasp out a cry of “Rape!”, prompting my girlfriend to laugh wickedly and shout “Get him, baby! Show him your love!”. I later found out that she filmed the assault on her phone and sent it to her family who found it amusing.

              Was *she* promoting rape culture?

              1. Were you giving the dog “ongoing affirmative consent”?

              2. No, she, by virtue of not being bepenised, cannot promote rape culture. Somehow pennies communicate to one another to promote rape.

                1. *penises

                  1. *Penii

                2. Kinda liked it with pennies better. Some kind of copper rape conspiracy going on in millions of pockets across the globe.

    8. Men used to be more protective of the women in their lives. Then it was considered patriarchal oppression and they had to stop. So men need to be protective…yet not, because it’s oppressive.

  16. The squeeze and I got a chuckle over the fence jumper, because this immediately came to mind.

    “hey…”

    1. “Ha ha!”

      I don’t think I’ve ever laughed harder than when I first saw that scene. It’s so ridiculous.

  17. Anyone else having trouble commenting? I’m using Chrome under Win7. After I login and post a comment it won’t let me post further comments until I do a Ctrl Refresh.

    1. Has anyone heard from Tonio recently?

    2. imagine all the people trying to respond to this, but they can’t!

  18. Pippi Longstocking Is On Front Line of Political-Correctness Battle in Sweden:

    Swedish Television has cut out potentially offensive scenes from fresh editions of the popular 1969 Pippi Longstocking series…

    In the fresh versions, set to be aired on a children’s channel in December, the unconventional Pippi will describe her dad as a “king” instead of a “negro king” and won’t play “Chinese” by stretching out the skin around her eyes.

    The public broadcaster said those original scenes could be perceived as “hurtful or offensive” for children who watched it.

    1. What about the kids who thought it was funny and that the new version isn’t?

      1. Re-education.

    2. I believe that this is an opportunity for someone not at work to post her new video.

  19. Another fine, selfless professional bureaucrat sacrificed to the lynch mob.

  20. Well I’ve found my method of suicide.

    So how much horsepower will the new Kawasaki be putting out in order to be described as “huge”? Kawasaki is claiming a power output in the realm of 300 hp, the highest power claim of any production motorcycle to date. And this comes from a 998cc inline-four engine.

    Time To Die

    1. That is insane. I mean seriously insane. There are respectable sports cars that only have 300 horsepower.

      1. I got a little queasy just reading that. A stock Busa puts out 200 horses or so, has like a 2.5 second 0-60 time, and comes with a governor limiting them to 300kph. This thing will easily crack 200 mph and I don’t even want to think about its 0-60 time. Insane.

        1. I don’t know how you would hang onto the bike and not get shot off the back. And how would you keep the front tire on the ground? Drag bikes have that kind of horsepower and they have wheelie bars to keep the front wheel from going over the top.

      2. My 350z is 300 hp.

    2. That thing is going to need a front end milled out of tungsten to prevent inadvertent random wheelies.

    3. 300? Meh.

      1. Power/weight makes a difference. That motherfucker has a damn reverse gear. And it needs it. (though I do prefer a cruiser to a crotch rocket).

        My personal favorite:

        VTX 1800

        Give me an overpowered rice burner any day of the week over an overpriced US bike.

      2. 445? Meh.

        (Though, to be fair, you can’t buy one, so it’s a bit academic…)

    4. “The Wizaaard!”

    5. That is good.

      Also, the band Orange Goblin

  21. What is the over/under on Orman deciding that he will caucus with the Dems even if the GOP takes the Senate?

    1. 100%. That is like giving an over under on the sun rising in the east tomorrow.

    2. It’s 100% that he’s doing that. Everyone knows it. One reason I think he’ll end up losing, because Kansas probably doesn’t want that right now.

      1. I think so. The funny part is that if he had just run as a conservative Democrat and been honest, I bet he would be up by 10 points right now and cruise to victory. People rightfully hate Roberts. He is one of the worst Senators in Washington. But they also hate having their intelligence insulted too.

        1. If people hate Roberts, how bad was the guy who challenged him in GOP primary? I suspect he was “better” (e.g. a non-establishment GOPer) so the establishment went with Roberts cause FYTW.

    3. There are still 11% undecided. My guess is enough of those 11% break for Roberts to save his sorry ass as people realize that Orman is nothing but a far left Democrat waiting to vote the way Reid tells him to.

  22. Lawsuit: Wrong sperm delivered to lesbian couple

    “On August 21, 2012, Jennifer gave birth to Payton, a beautiful, obviously mixed-race baby girl,” the lawsuit states. “Jennifer bonded with Payton easily and she and Amanda love her very much. Even so, Jennifer lives each day with fears, anxieties and uncertainty about her future and Payton’s future.”

    Raising a mixed-race daughter has been stressful in Cramblett and Zinkon’s small, all-white community, according to the suit. Cramblett was raised around people with stereotypical attitudes about nonwhites, the lawsuit states, and did not know African-Americans until she attended college at the University of Akron.

    1. Embrace diversity.

    2. Wow, such an obviously shitty family. Thank Zod they had such a wonderful daughter!

    3. “Uniontown is a census-designated place in Stark County, Ohio, United States. The population was 2,802 at the 2000 census. Uniontown was named #69 on CNN Money’s “Best Places to Live 2005″ list.”

      1. Uniontown was named #69 on CNN Money’s “Best Places to Live 2005″ list.”

        Well I can see why the lesbians moved there.

        *Cough*

    4. “Ahms a Racist Lesbian!! Ah Caint Be Esspected to Change Awl Mah Upbrangin Jess Coz I Had Me a Mooolatter Baybee?! Whuts Mah Mawmuh Gawn Sayuh??!”

      1. Spit or swallow. No one likes a tease

    5. Raising a mixed-race daughter has been stressful in Cramblett and Zinkon’s small, all-white community, according to the suit. Cramblett was raised around people with stereotypical attitudes about nonwhites, the lawsuit states, and did not know African-Americans until she attended college at the University of Akron.

      “Stereotypical attitudes about nonwhites”…but cool with the gays? Where is this place? Does San Francisco have a Little Selma neighborhood I don’t know about?

      Besides which, am I to understand that at some point this lady filled out a form and checked a box or something to specifically request white dude spunk?

      1. Let me translate the progsplaining.

        She is a proggie from Ohio. Like the vast majority of proggies, she is racist, viewing blacks as inferior people who need firm but benevolence governance by whites to keep them from sinking into savagery.

        Sh is bothered by the fact that raising a baby that has black ancestry will make people think she had sex with a black man. She projects her own disapproval of coupling with lesser races onto her neighbors. Her neighbors likely don’t really give a shit, but being a proggie, she thinks they have to, otherwise why does she feel so uncomfortable with the idea.

        That;s why she’s suing the sperm bank. They wronged her by giving her a baby that was inferior. They wronged her by making it look like she had sex with a black man. And they must pay for making her feel uncomfortable.

        Of course, no amount of monetary damages will heal a racist person’s discomfort at interacting with a member of a race she despises. I hope the court dismisses the case and awards costs to the sperm bank. because it’s not their fault she’s a racist.

        1. Breach of contract?

          1. They got their money back. What other damages could they possibly be owed?

            It’s not like caring for a black baby is any more expensive than for a white baby. It’s not like being black is a congenital disability requiring lifelong care.

            Once they got their money back, that was the extent of the sperm bank’s liability!

        2. Freedom of association is something that applies only to conservatives who don’t want to associate with icky gays? No gay person is allowed to do or say anything judged politically incorrect by a conservative without giving a total pass to smearing all gays everywhere? Breach of contract is No big deal?

          FWIW, I don’t know about sperm forms but for adoption forms you can specify the race and religion of the baby you want, or of the couple who you want to adopt your baby. Duly noted that the notion of babies having religion is bunk, and the other part of that is equally laughable – what they gonna do if the family moves to another town and switches from methotarian to presbytist?

        3. *ding ding ding ding!!!*

          1. That was for tarran’s progsplanation. Dead on description of NE Ohio progs.

    6. Lord amighty. Where is Jerry Spinger when we need him?!

    7. If Uniontown, OH is such a terrible, racist, homophobic, unwelcoming place, WTF don’t they move some place else?

      1. Uniontown is about 5 miles outside of Akron! This lawsuit makes it sound like they live in the village in that terrible movie The Village.

        “A month after Cramblett said she learned of the mistake, according to the lawsuit, the sperm bank sent her a typed letter of apology along with a refund check for the six vials of incorrect sperm that were sent to her in September 2011.”

        She already got her money back!

      2. And why is it the Sperm Provider’s fault that it is full of assholes?

    8. They should have used my sperm delivery service.

    9. I would bet $20 that there is more to this than she is letting on.

    10. Cramblett overstates greatly the homogeneity of Uniontown. Besides which, it’s close enough to Akron and Canton that anyone who isn’t a hermit is going to encounter black people pretty regularly.

      Now Hartville (on the other side of the same township, where I grew up)…nope, still not believing it. Unless you only hang out in the hinterlands between I-77 and Alliance, you’re going to be around black people.

  23. I have read several opinion pieces about “PresidentialSecuritygate”. I am appalled at the unabashed worship of the Presidency, and the elevation of an elected politician to the level of a religious icon. Fuck that. The President of the United States is just some guy hired to do a job nobody with any sense would want. The current guy sucks epically at the most elemental tasks of the office, and should have been fired years ago. He should be someplace where the damage caused by his gross incompetence could be minimized. Like a high school study hall monitor.

    1. Yeah, I’m appalled at the big deal they’re making. I don’t want Obama to be murdered, of course, but would it be the end of the world if he is? Leaving aside how awful a president he is, no one should be that important. If the presidency is that big of a deal, then that’s a far greater problem than his security being as bad as the rest of the government.

      1. In a constitutional republic, the job of
        “President” should be so inconsequential that you can replace the person every 4-8 years and hardly notice any difference in the actual manner of governance.

        1. Exactly. It should be nothing more than a sinecure for old people.

      2. … his security being as bad as the rest of the government.

        I don’t enough people are focusing on this aspect. The Secret Service, supposedly composed entirely of “ELITE PROFESSIONALS,” has one fucking job that they couldn’t even manage to do properly. And, like every other story about government incompetence, this is treated as an outlier that bureaucracy can still solve.

        Shit, I’ve heard top-level guys in the military talk about how bad we are at waging war (Clausewitz had some words about it), it’s just that our adversaries suck worse than we do.

        1. That could be America’s motto right now: Sucks Less than the Rest. How do you say that in Latin?

          1. How do you say that in Latin?

            Per Google translate: America sugit minus quam ceteros

            1. ‘Sugit, Foolum!’

              1. What’s this then?

                ‘Sugit, Foolum?’

                He sucks, the fool?

                IMPERATIVE, IMPERATIVE!

        2. The Secret Service is also responsible for stopping counterfeit currency, so that’s TWO jobs.

          1. And they haven’t raided any FED offices, so they suck at both.

        3. Maybe a team building exercise?

          1. I guess they already tried that with hookers and booze.

        4. Shit, I’ve heard top-level guys in the military talk about how bad we are at waging war (Clausewitz had some words about it), it’s just that our adversaries suck worse than we do.

          This has been covered in fiction as well…

    2. Its one of those things I don’t get, either. I feel like CNN will be running a ticker and every 8 minute segment will start the same, “Good Evening, the President has now been three hours without a Secret Service. How long can we expect him to remain safe?!”

      Also, the “riding the elevator with an armed man” thing? I suspect every elevator he rides has armed men on it. If some dude with poor impulse control can refrain from shooting him down in an elevator, imagine how safe the ordinary citizen is from gun crime.

      1. A private security guard who hasn’t lost it and shot anyone since committing a felony years ago managed to spend 15 minutes with the president without losing it and shooting anyone.

        This is a shocking development!!!!!!!

        1. That’s fair. I should’ve just stuck to the breathless tone. The moralizing makes a hash of it.

      2. My dad built the additions to Hartsfield airport before I was born. One day the President came through and toured the new construction.(Don’t remember if it was Carter or Regan) So he’s shaking hands with all the construction workers and the SS was being real anal about anyone who shook his hand for too long, but never realized that everybody there had a pistol in his toolbox.

        1. Vice President Gore had a meeting in a building across the street from my school, and the Secret Service pretty much didn’t check out the upper stories of my school. I found that odd at the time. Maybe they didn’t like Gore that much?

          1. Maybe they wanted to fulfil his wish to “take care of this”?

        2. “…but never realized that everybody there had a pistol in his toolbox.”

          Were they all happy to see him?

    3. I have read several opinion pieces about “PresidentialSecuritygate”

      For once, an appropriate use of the -gate suffix.

  24. Bitchen news in the above fla case.

    Due to some alert bystander taking video it is likely the officer will receive a proper punishment if it turns out she is in fact guilty

    Videotape whether taken by officers or others of officers every day helps good officers clear their name bad officers get properly punished false complainants get refuted and in some cases even prosecuted for their false complaints and helps convict the guilty of their crimes when they are caught on tape

    IMO, we have a moral duty to film police to help protect them and to help hold them accountable

    And thank god at least SOME depts allow or force the wearing of body cameras.

    I will make a prediction here and it’s that within a decade body Camera usage by officers will be the norm just like the wearing of a bulletproof vest

    And the public will continue to hold IOS in very high regard as polling proves they do now and have done, because the better data people have to assess police conduct, the more likely they will respect and admire us, as the vast majority currently do

    Prediction

    1) by 2024, body cameras will be the required norm for most officers in the field just like ballistic vests currently are
    2) throughout this time period from to 2024, public respect towards the honesty integrity and nobility if police will remain high. The increased sunshine will act to illuminate that we tend to do out job very fairly and with restraint as is currently the correct majority belief

    Smooches!

    1. Oh, kisses from you are always nice, but that other thing…whoa!

    2. I will make a prediction here and it’s that within a decade body Camera usage by officers will be the norm just like the wearing of a bulletproof vest

      And the public will continue to hold IOS in very high regard as polling proves they do now and have done, because the better data people have to assess police conduct, the more likely they will respect and admire us, as the vast majority currently do

      Close, but not quite right. They will change their behavior to finally deserve the regard that currently uninformed people give them.

  25. Some school children came into contact with the man in Texas diagnosed with the Ebola virus, which is still not a reason to panic.

    Can we trust that reason will inform us when there is a reason to panic?

    1. I’m thinking: When Ebola is no longer in the news.

    2. Suggestion: when you’re diagnosed with ebola?

  26. In order to achieve that prodigious power output, Kawasaki turned to supercharging, a form of forced induction that hasn’t been applied to production motorcycles yet.

    Eep.

    1. What I don’t understand is why there aren’t any rocket-powered motorcycles. The technology is hardly new, as I saw Evel Knievel fail to jump the Snake River Canyon with one way back in the 70s. Why is this technology being suppressed?

      1. I suspect its because the thrust to weight ratio is already high enough that it is difficult to deliver all of the power to the wheels. Why add a continuous explosion to the mix?

        1. Hmmm. Perhaps a fission-powered rocket?

      2. because its cheaper to just blow yourself up?

        1. Look, this is a serious discussion. Do you want a rocket bike or not?

          1. Wheels are just a formality.

            1. I agree. A rocket-powered hoverbike is perfectly valid.

  27. If the presidency is that big of a deal, then that’s a far greater problem than his security being as bad as the rest of the government.

    All those outraged Congressmen should be trying to devise a means of cutting the Presidency down to size, instead of weeping and wailing about how dangerous the job is.

    1. In our system, Congress is quite powerful. Yet it acts like it’s a club of old women who are funded by donations from a kindergarten class.

      Right now, Congress could tell the president to move out of the White House, because it just donated it to St. Jude.

    2. Don’t many of them in their tiny shriveled hearts dream of being President themselves? Why would they try to curb the power they may someday wield?

      1. I think that’s a factor, but I also think we just have this weird deference to authority that we haven’t managed to ferret out of our culture.

        1. I think that’s a factor, but I also think we just have this weird deference to authority that we haven’t managed to ferret out of our culture.

          Congress punts because Congresscritters almost universally are forever-hedging pussies in regards to aforementioned ambitions.

          Case in point is authorization of Iraq War 2003: WMD Edition. Donk Congresscritters voted for that war because they were thinking another Iraq War 1991: CNN Fun Edition was on deck and polls were ~` for it nationally. Oops.

          That thinking permeates Congresscritter brains. Look at the spin of the MSM’ers, its all about putting together votes the other guy doesn’t want to vote for – yes or no – because of hypothetical political problems.

          So, in other words, the fucks use the very laws their staff they write as weapons against each other, and punt to El Presidente anything that is not slam-dunk one way or another in polls of the electorates they monitor.

        2. I think it’s that they know the incumbency rates, and don’t want to fuck an almost-sure and awesome thing. Put some term limits on them or (better yet) select them at random, and they have much less reason to act so timid.

  28. why there aren’t any rocket-powered motorcycles.

    There was some crazy Limey on Outrageous Acts of Science with a bicycle powered by a pulse jet engine. Everybody should have one.

    1. It’s moments like this that give me faith in humanity’s continued existence.

  29. The Secret Service is also responsible for stopping counterfeit currency

    It’s not like Ben Bernanke and Janet Yellen have been operating from a secret hideout on the moon.

    1. Would that they were, TLPB, would that they were.

  30. GILMORE|10.1.14 @ 5:09PM|#
    In a constitutional republic, the job of
    “President” should be so inconsequential that you can replace the person every 4-8 years and hardly notice any difference in the actual manner of governance.

    Success!

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