Schools

Brickbat: Well, Shoot

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Zane Falke's principal threatened him with suspension but ultimately sentenced him to sit by himself at lunch and to miss two recesses. What did Falke, who is seven, do? He accidentally brought a shell casing to school. "In today's society, unfortunately, we do have to be concerned with those types of things in schools," said Roger Feagan, superintendent of Missouri's Norborne R-VIII School District.

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  1. “In today’s society, unfortunately, we do have to be concerned with those types of things in schools,” Roger Feagan, the superintendent of the Norborne R-VIII School District, told the station.

    “Though this seems minor, if we don’t handle the minor things, they can unfortunately escalate into major things down the road,” he said.

    This could have lead all the way to a devastating NRA membership. Crisis averted.

    1. If you don’t handle the minor things – like a principal behaving like a chuckle-headed nincompoop over a shell casing – they unfortunately can escalate into major things down the road – like a state legislature passing laws on how college kids must behave before attempting to engage in adult relationships.

      I wouldn’t trust this principal or this school to teach my dog not to crap on the rug, let alone try to teach my kid any sort of critical thinking skills that might enable him to grow up to be the sort of college student who doesn’t have to be taught the basics of interaction with other human beings.

  2. Good move. Blame it on “Society”.

  3. He accidentally brought a shell casing to school.

    You mean this little brat brought an empty, harmless piece of brass to school? THE HORROR!.

    1. Well obviously this is a gateway problem. If hes allowed to handle that shell casing in school, then hell start showing up with rocket launchers and machine guns with the shoulder thing that goes up, then…well I cant go on. This train of terribles is just so horrifying, but trust me you wouldnt want to see the end results.

      1. This train of terribles is just so horrifying, but trust me you wouldnt want to see the end results

        Actually – I would.

        Muahahahahahahahaha

      2. What if another kid had brought a reloader press? Huh? Then they would have had live ammunition AT SCHOOL if a third kid had brought primers.

        1. and a fourth kid brought some gun powder…sounds like a narrowly averted domestic terrorism incident…job well done, move along…

          1. Oceans 14, coming to theaters this xmas!

  4. All children should wear scrubs and sandals to school,all items they use during the day will be kept at the school,the scrubs could be,oh,orange.Yeah that’s it

    1. Actually not a bad idea. Separate the boys from the girls and give them a separate color uniform. Also you could put their SSN on the shirts so there is no confusion when you call out a common name, you just call them by number. I like it.

      1. you could also tattoo the number on their arms, so like it couldn’t wash off or anything, and then everyone could wear the same shirts…

        1. If you were to tattoo the numbers on their arms, you’d want to go with black and white striped scrubs instead of orange to accessorize with the bar codes you’d also want to put on their foreheads.

        2. NO! The shirts should be brown.

      2. Really? That’s all a lot of work and those kids will get the government issued outfits dirty or wear them out. Let’s just have them stay in their homes and login at twenty-minute intervals (like in class) to prove they’re on the schools books for funding.

        1. You know what is sad? This is satire but on others sites these comments would be hailed as: common sense, brave forward thinking, a clever new solution, what kids these days need, etc…

          1. That’s why I only comment here,I can not suffer fools gladly

              1. Happily,I consider this the South Park of comments

                1. ^^^ This is why I quit lurking and finally created an account to post. :))

        2. They can work in the school laundry for extra credit,the shop class will make goods for sale to help pay expenses.Win ,win

          1. Sorry, shop class must be cancelled. The danger of injury and/or the ability to make a weapon is too high.

            1. I think Father La,uh,Home Land security can watch over them,and provide government jobs

              1. I keep having flash backs to my 7th grade shop teacher, who had a total of 7 fingers and 1 thumb, telling us about the dangers of class. The shop class episode of South Park makes me laugh uncontrollably.

              2. Obama Jugend.

            2. This is the 21st Century! Aren’t all those instructional tools *virtual*?

        3. uh huh, uh huh…nods head sagely (or wisely as you prefer)

  5. Clearly an overreaction. But I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the school district has a bunch of busybody do-gooders running around. A lot of the time when schools make dumb decisions like this, it’s because they’re worried about some parent/community group whose been giving them grief on related subjects for years.

    1. OT but personal example of pearl clutching parents setting the agenda.

      I have boys in 3rd and 1st grade. My wife is involved with the PTA. They are planning the year’s events where the PTA creates gift bags that are given to the students. There are multiple classes for each grade and a separate PTA mom is in charge of assembling the bags for each class. It was stressed that the contents of each bag and the design of the decoration of the bag must be approved by the PTA and be identical across classes within a grade. Apparently, in the past, parents of twins who have been placed in separate classrooms have placed irate phone calls because one of their twins is having a meltdown because, unlike his bag, the other twin’s bag was adorned with glitter or other such shit. I’m told that the PTA moms are in agreement that this is ridiculous but instead of telling such complaining moms to teach their twins to deal with such trying circumstances, they go through extreme measures to avoid any such issues.

      1. Stupid, but not surprising. I think a significant problem today is that we’ve lost the art of helping people deal with disappointment. Rather than saying to someone, “X is not going to happen,” we prefer to avoid the drama.

        1. I can understand that a parent of twins may want to be very careful to treat each one identical to avoid drama in the house. But its odd that the parent insists that the entire world treat them that way when interacting with them as individuals, not as a pair.

          1. As a Dad of 5 year old twins, I take great pains to treat them as their individual behavior warrants. They are as different as any brothers can be.

            Both they and I hate when Mom tried to dress them alike …

            1. probably because she dressed them funny

    2. They’re do-badders, not do-gooders.

  6. Now that makes a lot of sense dude.

    http://www.Ano-Web.tk

  7. sentenced him to sit by himself at lunch

    Wtf?

    1. Since when is being allowed a respite from the loathesome student body a punishment? I deliberately got away from those morons at lunch.

      1. 30 days minutes in the hole, yo – stay strong, Zane!

        *raises black-gloved fist*

        1. *hands Almanian a genuine ‘Cooler King’ rubber ball to bounce off wall of cell*

          1. His cell is made of padded walls. The ball won’t bounce and may be a choking hazard

  8. Shell casings are dangerous, especially for kids at that age. My dad used to load his own ammo in the downstairs living room, which is where the coffee maker was. I went down one morning before school as usual, barefoot, and stepped on a casing. Hurt like a bitch.

    1. Still – cases are not as bad as Legos?. Legos are the WORST under a bare foot!

  9. my buddy’s mother makes $62 every hour on the laptop . She has been out of a job for 10 months but last month her check was $19440 just working on the laptop for a few hours. visit this website….

    ???????? http://www.netjob70.com

    1. Your buddy’s mother is so fat that when she’s on the laptop,she’s really ON the laptop!

  10. “In today’s society, unfortunately, we do have to be concerned with those types of things in schools.”

    A few short decades ago kids brought in inert *machine-gun cartridges* and *hand grenades* they had purchased at military surplus stores or swapped with their friends. No one was concerned in the least.

    1. Remember these are the same types of people that suspended a child for turning a pop tart into a gun.

    2. The principal is correct: “unfortunately, we do have to be concerned with those types of things in schools.”

      The school’s “resource officer” might freak out upon seeing the kid’s spent cartridge, and mow down a bunch of innocent bystanders before stopping the perpetrator.

      Safety first!

  11. Having an empty shell casing on your person in D.C. is an instant year in jail and a criminal record. This youngster got off light in the era of the insane and ravaging progressive.

    1. “Having an empty shell casing on your person in D.C. is an instant year in jail and a criminal record. ”

      Don’t believe it.

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