"iOS8: The Operating System That Would Be King"


Despite savage beheadings, disturbing political revelations, and the advent of "Talk Like a Pirate Day," Apple's release of a new phone and mobile operating system, iOS8, has dominated the Internet like nothing since the naming of Pope Francis. WTF is going on?

From my latest column for Time:

In the new world of technology über alles, the operating system is the god of the machine. If it functions well, all is smooth sailing in our lives and we can be pretend to be wizards and witches from storybooks, able to traverse time and space and make miracles happen. We can arrive on time via uncongested routes and we can bank from the coffee shop and invest while riding the subway. We can set the home alarm long after we've left for work, track the kids' homework, and use a flight delay as a way to catch up with our friends, lovers, and co-workers.

As we voluntarily become cyborgs and wire ourselves up and express ourselves instantaneously through an ever-growing array of social media, we need a perfect operating system that allows us to multi-task with ever-greater flexibility and ever-greater ease across computers, phones, tablets, and more. Who has time to reboot any of our peripheral devices? Indeed, what machines even count as peripheral anymore? They are all central to us, and more so with each passing day.

In its heart of hearts, Apple knows just how high the stakes are. No company, even one as worshiped by its fans as Apple, is ever more than a couple of flops away from being cast into furnace of hell. Its previous mobile operating system, iOS7, was a disappointment, if not an epic fail like Windows 8 or Vista, to name two of Microsoft's ill-conceived and executed OSes. iOS8 must be better, smoother, faster, or else even true believers may revolt and slay their god (alas, the early reviews for iOS8 are not heartening).

Whole thing here.

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  1. Apple OS is shit, period, end of discussion. Windows and even Android are far superior.

    1. Been a happy iPhone user for a long time, until I got my iPhone 5. It just does things that are frustrating sometimes. I loved my iPhone 4S.

      BTW, OS X beats the shit out of Windows as far as desktop OS’s go. I use both regularly.

      1. BTW, OS X beats the shit out of Windows as far as desktop OS’s go. I use both regularly.


        1. Hyperion, you can’t be serious. Windows 8 borders on well neigh unusable when compared to OS X. In fact Windows 8 is so damn had that most Linux desktop system interfaces now better it.

          1. Stick Classic Shell in front, and it’s not bad at all. I rather like the file transfer handling and the ease of setup for multimonitor.

            OS-X can DIAF as far as I’m concerned, I tries to hide way too much of the “operating” part of the operating system.

    2. But which is the more stable platform for doctors seeking to perform abortions? Or circumcisions? Or order a deep dish from Domino’s? Or all three at once?

    3. I use a mix of Windows, Ubuntu, and Android, but “shit” is a big overstatement. From an engineering standpoint iOS and OS X are both great; from a UX standpoint, it’s a matter of taste. And then application-wise it just depends on what you want to do, of course.

      1. You Know Who Else engaged in hyberbole across the internet?

    4. You’re an ignorant psychopath.

      Poor people, ick!

      1. So is Tony reduced to just rambling nonsense apropos of nothing?

        1. You see, Tony is still grief stricken that his publicly funded degree in gender studies didn’t lead to a high paying career, and he blames libertarians, cause … well just because.

          So now, every once in a while before he passes out from drinking the cheapest of rot gut alcohol, he comes here to get revenge on us libertarians who are the source of all his miserable life failures by saying stuff that makes no sense at all, not even to another skid row drunk.

          1. In an uncanny way, your psychoanalysis is just perpendicular to reality.

        2. Winston|9.19.14 @ 8:55PM|#
          “So is Tony reduced to just rambling nonsense apropos of nothing?”

          Seems to hit the bottle pretty early on Fridays.
          Comments change from abysmally stupid team cheer-leading to nonsense.

          1. As with reality, proggies can’t handle their alcohol.

          2. I hit the bottle late on Fridays, and it was late an hour ago.

            1. Awww, shit. Torch song in 3…2…

        3. Was he ever anything more?

      2. Are you trying to say something that makes sense? Poor, Tony, poor poor Tony. Shall we have pity on you?

        1. The only people who bitch about Apple are gross poor people who might be ignorant psychopaths. Pity yourself.

          1. Right, because Apple products are so cheap compared to the alternative products, got it.

            You’re even more lame than ever. Do you ever read the drivel that you post after you wake up in a puddle of your own vomit?

          2. As I said; still stupid but nonsense on top of it.
            Notice how mask of concern for ‘poor people’ has dropped.

            1. I am a liberal. I care about poor people in the abstract. And I mean it! But in person you’re icky.

              1. I am a liberal. I care about poor people in the abstract. And I mean it! But in person you’re icky.

                So I guess the guy behind Tony has just given up?

              2. I am a liberal

                No, you’re an idiot. There’s a difference, and just because you aren’t bright enough to know, doesn’t negate the fact.

          3. So is this is some lame “gotcha” or is Tony saying he hates the poor?

            1. See above; he admits that any concern is “in the abstract”.
              IOWs, it’s an act to make him acceptable to other lefty hypocrites.

              1. No, it’s a sincere belief. But I can express it in St. Ayn’s terms as well: I want to make fewer poor people, because it’s in my rational self-interest to be around fewer icky poor people.

                1. Tony|9.19.14 @ 9:08PM|#
                  “No, it’s a sincere belief. But I can express it in St. Ayn’s terms as well: I want to make fewer poor people, because it’s in my rational self-interest to be around fewer icky poor people.”

                  Aw, asshole, we know you love ’em! Everything you propose makes tons more of ’em!

                  1. I hope not, but if you can demonstrate how, I’d be eager to know where I’ve gone wrong. Data please, no ideological bullshit.

            2. He’s saying that he’s a retard, he just has trouble communicating that because he’s retarded.

      3. Poor people, ick!

        I always knew Tony hated poor people.

        1. Which is one minor reason I would prefer we not have any.

          1. Income/wealth will never be equal. So there will be some people that are considered poor no matter what. And if anyone points out that they aren’t really that poor, they just have less than others, people like you will just accuse them of hating the poor.

          2. Considering the usual leftist solution to unwanted people…

    5. I think you are incorrect and there are always issues with any new OS.

  2. voters are smart to stick with the status quo, no matter how miserable it might be.

    So is Nick giving up on the libertarian moment and the millennial independent libertarians?

    1. It’s OK, we still have that Great Libertarian Hope that we’ll be able to 3D-print our way to freedom. Or that we’ll all live on an artificial island in the middle of the ocean. Or that the L party might get one Senator and be a tiebreaker, thus controlling the Senate. Or something. Maybe that’s what Nick was talking about.

    2. If voters were smart they wouldn’t bother voting.

  3. Speaking of iOS 8, Orin Kerr at VC (who is normally somewhat reasonable even if he’s not exactly libertarian) posted this ridiculous piece today.

    From the beginning we can tell Kerr is clueless about the technical end of things:

    And under Apple’s old operating system, cryptography protects iPhones from rogue police officers, too.

    And then this:

    Under the old operating system, Apple could execute a lawful warrant and give law enforcement the data on the phone. Under the new operating system, that warrant is a nullity. It’s just a nice piece of paper with a judge’s signature. Because Apple demands a warrant to decrypt a phone when it is capable of doing so, the only time Apple’s inability to do that makes a difference is when the government has a valid warrant. The policy switch doesn’t stop hackers, trespassers, or rogue agents. It only stops lawful investigations with lawful warrants.

    If “rogue agents” can get in, so can law enforcement.

    Other crappy stuff loaded in there but I’m not in the mood.

    1. I’d have expected Stewart Baker to write that piece.

    2. He’s engaged in a big missing-the-point exercise.

      Apple isn’t trying to subvert legal warrants. Apple is trying to prove to its own customers that it isn’t secretly shovelling all their data over to the NSA, and the only way they can prove that, post-Snowden, is by making such cooperation impossible.

      The NSA scandal is going to undermine all possibility of cooperation with law enforcement, no matter how justified. Too fucking bad, the government broke their side of the agreement first and repeatedly. Now they read the whirlwind.

  4. I’ve had no problems with 8 that I can discern. If the problem is that it’s buggy, that can be fixed. I like the new texting and am quite used to it already. I realize the peasants got these things sooner, which is an odd way of going about things, but who cares. Apple delivers nearly perfect products. And will until it doesn’t, at which point I will inform you idiots.

    1. ^Ironclad proof that Tony is a sock

      1. He’s too genuinely retarded to be a sock

    2. Tony|9.19.14 @ 9:00PM|#
      “I’ve had no problems with 8 that I can discern.”

      When your “testing” is solitaire and youtube, you really shouldn’t have problems.

      1. I use my phone as God intended. Texts, frivolous games, and convenient internet.

        You tell me why I should have a device for these things that doesn’t fit in my pocket.

        1. Your banality would be embarrassing enough if it were affecting just yourself. But it’s not. You and your fellow casual users are forcing productivity users into a fucking niche market. It’s like Atlas Shrugged except much, much worse.

          1. Why can’t “productivity users” just get a tablet?

  5. Samsung will release a foldout screen phone long before Apple even starts prototypes, Apple is overpriced garbage. There was a time that wasn’t true, but Microsoft put those days to rest before most of us here were born.

    1. …”before most of us here were born.”

      Phooey on you guys!
      I’ve got a steam-powered “computer” with brass gears on jeweled bearings!
      Works just fine.

      1. That’s fucking awesome dude. I might decide to steampunk my next puter build.

      2. I’ve got a difference engine.

        1. I’m still using Charles Babbage’s analytical engine. I keep it right beside of my loom and abacus.

    2. Microsoft may have been inexpensive, but it was always shit. Always. Shit. That’s what happens when your business model is “monopolize everything!” instead of “appeal to consumer.”

      1. Just because you are too dumb to use an OS doesn’t mean it’s shit, you fucking retard.

        1. Seriously, please. I thought you guys were still muttering about game compatibility. The cool thing about being all-Apple is you have no impulse to defend yourself. Some things are painfully obvious.

          1. Lots of things are obvious to the mentally deficient.

          2. Which is why you’ve jumped right in to defend Apple and yourself. You’ve got to be performance art, it would be too sad if you were a real person.

      2. Tony|9.19.14 @ 9:09PM|#
        …”That’s what happens when your business model is “monopolize everything!” instead of “appeal to consumer.””

        I’m sure the humor is unintentional, since this comes from the lefty asshole ignoramus, but MS definitely DID appeal to the consumer with lower prices, while Apple did its damnedest to control its OS and keep a monopoly on it.
        Naturally, since neither one was gov’t-sponsored, there was no monopoly, but the asshole has it exactly backwards.

        1. NO! That can’t be! Think of all the Mac clones back in the 80’s and 90’s. Surely that proves his “monopoly” narrative.

        2. I don’t even know where to start. A company keeping a tight lid on its product is a monopoly, yet we mustn’t define “monopoly” except in the strictest sense!

          I only guessed that I’d find a bunch of sallow Microsoft clingers here. I’m a better judge of character than you idiots and I’m pretty much fully drunk.

          1. Shorter Tony: I’m morally bereft.

            1. When did the Mormons start showing up?

          2. Tony|9.19.14 @ 9:23PM|#
            “I don’t even know where to start.”

            THAT should be an introduction to every post you make.

          3. Apple sued other companies for having phones with rounded corners for fuck’s sake.

        3. Apple did its damnedest to control its OS and keep a monopoly on it.

          It’s not a monopoly when you control your own product. I don’t remember MS giving away Windows source code either.

          1. And Apple gives away tons of source code in the form of Darwin.

            1. Such as the goto fail source code.

    3. I’m no fan of iCrap but Windows and Office are the definition of overpriced garbage.

      I do admit that Windows 7 is actually a decent OS, and would be a strong value competitor for Ubuntu and CentOS if it were at the same price point. Of course now MS is kicking it to the curb in favor of yet another awful version of Windows.

      1. The typical use cases for Windows 7 and CentOS are different. Windows Server 2008 R2 is a more appropriate comparison, and even then, for many use cases people would use CentOS (or Ubuntu Server, or Debian, and so on) over Windows even if it was free.

        1. Yeah, I didn’t put much thought into the comparison. Just trying to make a joke and those were the first two Linux distros to come to mind.

          As someone trapped in the Windows ecology at work, all I can say is please God let Windows 9’s genes be the ones that skip a generation.

          1. So far, every other Microsoft OS has been a dud, while all the others have been decent. So Windows 9, if MS stays true to form, should be at least halfway decent.

            Windows 8 actually isn’t too bad an OS, it’s just that Microsoft went all in on tablets and forgot they still had tons of users that were still working in a desktop or laptop environment, especially their business customers. It was a really fucking bad idea.

            1. I liked XP better than 7. I wouldn’t have bought 7 but Microsoft has to screw everyone as much and as often as possible. I hates Bill Gates.

              1. XP was OK from an interface and functionality perspective, but god-awful from a security perspective.

    4. Like I want to origami my phone before I can answer a call. What you describe sounds like a solution in need of a problem. Apple has the general sense to understand the difference between a “feature” and an enhancement.

  6. Apple’s release of a new phone and mobile operating system, iOS8, has dominated the Internet like nothing since the naming of Pope Francis. WTF is going on?

    It’s the iCult in action.

    1. uNbeliever! uNclean!

    2. Where’s Janet Reno and the ATF when you need them.

  7. Just one question: would it kill Apple to at least allow OSX to be loaded into a virtual machine, if expressly for purposes of development? It’s a major drag having to purchase and lug around two machines, just so you can build binaries for an OS you don’t use for any other purpose.

    I can see the day coming when Apple releases OSX Alcatraz or whatever, and it’s not compatible with my current Apple hardware, and it’ll be the tipping point, where I finally say to the Apple customers, “Hey, I’ve been jumping through Apple hoops all these years, now it’s your turn. If you want to run the software, install linux or Windows on Bootcamp. If you decide not to stick around, so be it, I’m not so sure it won’t possibly be a net positive, given that supporting your chosen OS is far from a zero-cost proposition, in terms of allocation of development resources, i.e. time and lost productivity.

  8. OS/MVT. Nuthin’ like it since.

  9. Well, OS/360/MVT.

  10. I often have to use Macs as a designer, but I prefer Windows. The Apple slogan should be “We cost a lot so you think you made the right choice despite only doing 5 seconds of research” It’s not as pithy as “Think Different”, but it’s basically the truth.

  11. I’m glad I’m no longer at my old job.

    I can only imagine the weapons grade stupid when every doctor in the organization starts waving his iDevice at me demanding that I get it working on the network so he can… read the Apple forums while a patient waits in the room.

  12. I just upgraded. After the interminable install process, I spent about another 15 – 20 minutes scrubbing all the settings and whatnot to remove push ads, location-sharing, blah blah blah.

    As far as the iPhone being a vehicle for commoditizing its users for sale to developers, businesses, etc., iOS 8 is much worse.

    And the idea that I’m going to give them my banking info to store for EZ access is just frickin’ laughable.

  13. Wake me up when the OS can talk to me like Scarlett Johansson.

  14. my best friend’s sister-in-law makes $80 hourly on the computer . She has been laid off for 9 months but last month her income was $15529 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read More Here ….


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