The Plight of the Scots

'We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers.'

As Scotland votes on independence, let's pause for an impassioned speech on the plight of a colonized people:

(From Trainspotting. What were you expecting, Braveheart or something? This is better.)

Comments

[Wasteland Wanderer]

Fishing for content from the comments section? I guess that’s one way to fill out your quota. 😉

[Jesse Walker]

I got this post ready earlier in the week & scheduled it to go up this morning. If someone mentioned it in a comment thread too, I didn’t see it.

[Almanian!]

Forget it Jesse – it’s Reasonoidtown

[ubik]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDaz9QVGMd4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5-z4iMBFZA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrSDlvpo7J0

[Lt Womack]

At least the English have evolved from holding their dominion together by war, torture, and beheading to holding their dominion together with rank bribery. I suppose it’s an improvement.

As for worries about disrupting the nostalgia of Scotland and England being “together” for centuries (ask William Wallace about how “together” he feels), my ancestors in Ireland were “together” with the English for even longer, and got along just fine without them the past 90 years.

[Almanian!]

ask William Wallace about how “together” he feels

He’ll get back to you from the four corners of the country!

+1 quartered

[Careless]

thatsthejoke.jpg

[UnCivilServant]

We should have eradicated Scotland as a cultural entity long ago.

[Almanian!]

May you hear out of tune bagpipes, played by a 70 year old wanker who couldn’t keep time to save his life, in your dreams, forever.

[UnCivilServant]

The pipes are not the scots’ exclusive domain. If anything the sods have been too limited in their usage.

[Almanian!]

They perfected the instrument. Yes, many others have had it, but today it belongs to them.

Also – haggis

[UnCivilServant]

Bullshit.

And haggis is an offal argument.

[Free Society]

golf and haggis.

[Pro Libertate]

Deep-fried capitalism.

[Product Placement]

Haggis and bag pipes are Scotland’s chief weapons.

[Hillary's Clitdong]

Scottish NHS may face funding cuts.

They may take our freedom, BUT THEY’LL NEVER TAKE OUR GOVERNMENT CHEESE!

[WTF]

“HAAAAND OOOUTS!!!!!!!!”
/not William Wallace

[antisocial-ist]

FREEEE SHIIIT!

[Lt Womack]

Will the BBC have to become the EBC if the vote goes ill?

[UnCivilServant]

Not according to precedent. It’s traditional for the overbearing, more powerful resident of a land to take the name and ignore less influential northern neighbors’ claims to it.

Isn’t that right, Rufus J?

[WTF]

America, fuck yeah!

[Lt Womack]

People who swear allegiance to a German chick in England have no business calling themselves Americans.

[Pro Libertate]

Fucking kraut usurpers.

[Xeones]

What are you, some kind of Jacobite?

[Pro Libertate]

No, as my amorphous claims to the crown of Scotland predate the Stuarts. Fuck them, too.

[Zeb]

Well, “Unitedstatesian” just doesn’t work.

[Pro Libertate]

Why not Usaian? Or Usaite?

[Seamus]

No. The E&WBC;.

[Seamus]

Or maybe the EW&NIBC;.

[sarcasmic]

I forgot Obi-Wan was ever that young.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Scotland is Britain’s Ukraine, except without the value. They should treat it as such.

[Hillary's Clitdong]

Considering that Scotland still has (some) oil reserves, it’s more like Britain’s Venezuela.

[WTF]

I thought Britain was Europe’s boner.

[UnCivilServant]

Eurasia is a giant wasp clutching africa, the british isles are the antennae.

[Almanian!]

Never seen Trainspotting. However, these are the EXACT young uns (OK, just a couple years too old) for the young losers who saw us off from Strathclyde University the last time I was over with my pipe band to play in the World Championship.

We’re heading to the airport at 5:00 in the morning or some such uncivilized time – here comes young Seumas and his mate Jock – couldn’t have been 15, 16 – suckin’ on a bottle of beer, stumbling over to wish us off. Nowhere to be, nothing to do – pleasant enough chaps, absolute LOSERS with no future. Ergo – DRINK!

That and going to a hill in Edinburgh to look at the heroin district really helped me understand what a fucked up place Scotland is. Too bad – it’s a drop-dead gorgeous place.

As my sister says, “Ireland is all about the people. Scotland is all about the land….”

I wish the poor, dumb, infighting, subservient, needy bastards good luck. And I WILL come back to play in the World Championship again, regardless of which way this goes.

[Leo]

The trouble with Scotland is that it’s full of Scots.

[Vulgar Madman]

The good ones left and built America.

[Lady Bertrum]

The good ones left and built America

I heard some version of this speech at least once a week from my Scottish immigrant grandfather. After leaving Scotland, where did he choose to settle? South Dakota. He left one God forsaken, dry, barren land for another. Brillant.

[Vulgar Madman]

It is sad how many beautiful countries in the world are hellholes.

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

Bah. For a real take of the meaning of being Scottish you have to go to Monty Python and the original Harry Potter

[Fist of Etiquette]

If you have trouble with the accent then by all means turn on the Closed Captioning. Clears it right up.

[pagal]

Absolutely. I won’t be lying awake tonight trying to figure out what “calling eyes by one cuz” means.

[Cowboy]

Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae master! We willna’ be fooled again!

[Almanian!]

Meet the new Laird, just the same as the old Laird.

[Almanian!]

Alba! Scotia! Can ye nae hear the pipes a callin’! Wha’s better – free shit or your glorious fokin’ history and the opportunity tae bring back self government!!

Ah, free shit it is….either way. Carry on, ya pasty children o’ the puddin’ race.

[Almanian!]

I guess we’ll always have Scottish Soccer Hooligans, so there is that.

[UnCivilServant]

If you called them that, they’d break your face. They seem to be very insistant on terminology.

[Swiss Servator, Grundgesetz!]

I did not understand how intense the Ranger v Celtic thing was until one day I saw this huge Scottish NCO reading a screen and chuckling. I asked him what was so funny and he said “Coach o’ Celtic died last night!”… yikes.

[antisocial-ist]

According to legend, Auburn fans rolled Toomer’s corner(like they do after every win) the day Bear Bryant died.

[SugarFree]

Why does England want to keep them so much? If Michigan wanted to leave, I think most Americans would say “good riddance.”

[Lord Humungus]

Heyyyyy! /Michigander

[SugarFree]

OK, some other economic basket case then… Mississippi?

[SugarFree]

Also: A Michigan woman fought off a man trying to steal her purse and then gave birth just a few hours later.

[Room 237]

WHen I lived in London, the Scots I knew generally wanted to keep Scotland in the UK. It was the English who wanted the Scots out. It used to be said that Scottish independence was more popular in South East England than in Scotland

[GILMORE]

When *i* lived in London, and asked a scot why they never agitated for independence like the Irish, said, “And who would we have to blame then?”

[Ken Shultz]

Politically, if Scotland left the UK, it would be like if California left the U.S.

We might not live to see another Labor government in the UK.

In 2007, the Tories got 15% of the vote in Scotland.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S…..tion,_2007

Comparatively, that makes it look like Romney trounced Obama in California.

The Scottish National Party is a party of the left. They’re Social Democrats. The tension within the party is between whether to be center-left or far-left.

If Scotland leaves the UK, it’ll be a bit like handing the UK over to the Tea Party.

No kidding!

Did I say Scotland leaving would be politically like California leaving the U.S.? It might be more like California, Massachusetts, and New York leaving, all at the same time.

The Free State Project might think about relocating to the UK if Scotland leaves.

[kfs]

Way to go Walker! One of my favorite scenes from THE only movie I own on DVD. The only scene I like better is THE WORST TOILET IN SCOTLAND! I highly recommend this movie, it is not for the feint of heart.

[creech]

I’m betting Scotland does not vote for independence. What say you?

[jjjjj]

No Scotsman will vote for independence.

[Poppa Kilo]

No TRUE Scotsman will vote for independence.

[Zeb]

I sort of hope they vote for independence. Just so I can see what happens.

[wingnutx]

Colonized, my ass.

The Union of the Crowns was the accession of James VI, King of Scots, to the thrones of England and Ireland, and the consequential unification for some purposes (such as overseas diplomacy) of the three realms under a single monarch on March 25th 1603.

The Acts of Union were two Acts of Parliament: the Union with Scotland Act 1706 passed by the Parliament of England, and the Union with England Act passed in 1707 by the Parliament of Scotland.