The Countercultural Appeal of 19 Kids and Counting

Considering most of what we see on TV, the Duggar family is basically transgressive.

The new season of 19 Kids and Counting is here. And I'm excited. So what?

Generally speaking, I enjoy the most salacious, violent, and depressing television shows I can find. Maybe it's just a perverse form of escapism, maybe it's the high quality of shows being produced these days, but I can't resist "prestige" television—The Wire, Breaking Bad, Fargo, The Sopranos, Game of Thrones, House Of Cards, The Walking Dead and so on. For that matter, I also hung around for four seasons of The Killing and watched every episode of Halt and Catch Fire. So, apparently, whatever you make, I'll tune in.

It was only by chance that I stumbled across the decidedly wholesome and un-artistic 19 Kids and Counting. I showed up to mock the unbridled puritanism of a bunch of freaks—not to mention poke fun at my own family for watching such dreck—and I never left. I can't remember when it happened exactly and I don't know if I'll be able shake this bizarre feeling, but I do know that I'm hooked on what has to be the most countercultural show on TV these days.

For the unfamiliar, 19 Kids and Counting is a reality television show featuring the Duggar family of northwestern Arkansas. The Duggars are devout Independent Baptists, a fundamentalist offshoot of Baptism that, from what I can gather, is a bit cultish and has experienced some rough patches over the past few years. No matter; the Duggars never proselytize as far as I can tell—unless you count making a pious life with tons of kids seem fulfilling and extraordinarily fun.

@DuggarFam/Twitter

What the Duggars do is engage in the reactionary act of producing a large number of offspring—all of whom are given first names that begin with "J" (though "Jinger" seems like cheating to me). Jim Bob and Michelle have also have gone through two miscarriages (the show deals with the family's grieving process) and have a couple of grandkids. And other comparably enormous families tend to pop in and out of their lives as the Duggars do their mission work and disembark in various cities and tourist sites around the country.

This week, the new season kicked off. It will focus on Jill Duggar, one of the older girls, and her pending marriage to a ridiculously respectful young man named Derek. This relationship blossomed after a courtship—the Duggar children court prospective mates, they do not date. (As a father of two daughters, this seems far less outrageous than I would have imagined.)

'19 Kids and Counting'/Facebook

Though it stands to reason that the show is often staged, what I see cuts against many cultural notions we have about family: what children strive for, what parents owe their kids, how a family acts towards one another, what young people are capable of. Considering what we see on TV, it's basically transgressive. A place where homeschooling is treated as a reasonable way to educate your children, where kids talk about "honoring" their parents rather than demanding things from them, and where older kids start successful small businesses without a traditional college education.

I can recall that the shows my children grew up watching almost always featured some bratty kid with an endless supply of snappy comebacks and the ability to outwit all the hapless adults in their lives. Most reality TV I've run across oscillates between depravity and stupidity. 19 Kids and Counting is basically the most earnest show I've ever watched. And while almost any mainstream show I grew up watching saw social conservatives through a political prism—irrational and hopeless—the Duggars' charitable spirit allows people to see the manifestation of religious ideals in real-time. Or so this apostate imagines. In any event, it's almost impossible to not be charmed.

The Duggars lifestyle is completely foreign to me. By any measure, their lives should rub my secular sensibilities the wrong way, and the austerity of their beliefs are still somewhat off-putting. But whether you believe the family's lifestyle is optimal or not—and I don't—you can learn from them. What will most impress any parent is the boundless patience Jim Bob and Michelle have towards their many children. They handle situations with calmness and purpose, focusing on preparing capable adults, but also good people. Which all sounds terribly boring, but it's not. I never imagined that I would ever find myself asking the question "What would Jim Bob do?" … But, well, there it is.

Now, I certainly don't want to be a Duggar, but I have to confess that I want to be more like a Duggar than I am right now. Or maybe I just need a break from all the cynicism. So what?

Comments

[Sam Haysom]

Strange this article is surprisingly level headed and devoid of typical Reason cosmopolitan antinomianism. Wonder why that is? Oh wait author has two daughters mystery solved.

Libertarianism is the ideology of people who are certain they will never have daughters.

[Heroic Mulatto]

And Wa alaykumu as-salam to you, my brother. Tell me, Has Deir ez-Zor fallen to the Believers yet?

[Sam Haysom]

Good argument. No one has ever opposed social permissiveness except radical Muslims. I mean sure Thatcher mentioned it a few times but what did she do that compares with the vast success of libertarians. I mean currently the libertarian movement is influential enough to support one tv show on the Fox Business Channel. So basically Lou Dobbs and libertarianism are punching at about the same political influence.

And of course when it comes to rand Paul’s foreign policy the score board reads Isis 1 Reason 0.

[ace_m82]

Considering that we supported ISIS and gave them a place to thrive…

That sounds like ISIS 1, Reason 1, and McCain -10,000.

[Almanian!]

I came toward libertarianism after I had two daughters.

Must be an outlier.

[Sam Haysom]

Guess so.

[Thomas O.]

I would like to think that libertarian parents of daughters would train them to be well-knowledged in the hazards of casual sex and well-trained in physical self-defense, instead of oversheltering them with the old “lock-em-in-the-basement-til-she’s-30” attitude.

I have a daughter who’s 4 now, and I’m doing my best to properly raise her to know right from wrong and virtue from vice and all that, but I also know she’ll eventually become an adult and want to go out, party and experiment with people and things. And I’d rather educate her on the dangers than just flat-out say NO, that’s BAD.

[Sevo]

“Libertarianism is the ideology of people who are certain they will never have daughters.”

I did not know this!
And, come to think about it, I still don’t! It’s bullshit.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I have a daughter.

Meh.

[prolefeed]

Libertarianism is the ideology of people who are certain they will never have daughters.

He says to the former state Chair of a libertarian party who has two daughters.

[Sam Haysom]

After explaining why his libertarianism was unusually sober minded and insightful. Almost as if the two things were related.

[ace_m82]

I’m a libertarian. I’m a Christian Fundamentalist. Nice to meet you.

I’m almost certainly going to adopt a daughter.

[SQRLSY One]

Hi Ace,

If by “Christian Fundamentalist” you mean that as a Christian, you put on the very top of your list, the “fundamental” of treating other people the way you’d like to be treated, then GREAT for you, that’s the ethic I aspire to also. If you mean you try to take every word of the Bible literally, then I have the below thoughts for you?
… (See next post).

[SQRLSY One]

Our that them thar VALUES of society outta come from that them thar HOLY BIBLE, and if ya read it right, it actually says that God wants us to KILL EVERYBODY!!! Follow me through now: No one is righteous, NONE (Romans 3:10). Therefore, ALL must have done at least one thing bad, since they’d be righteous, had they never done anything bad. Well, maybe they haven’t actually DONE evil, maybe they THOUGHT something bad (Matt. 5:28, thoughts can be sins). In any case, they must’ve broken SOME commandment, in thinking or acting, or else they’d be righteous. James 2:10 tells us that if we’ve broken ANY commandment, we broke them ALL. Now we can’t weasel out of this by saying that the New Testament has replaced the Old Testament, because Christ said that he’s come to fulfill the old law, not to destroy it (Matt. 5:17). So we MUST conclude that all are guilty of everything. And the Old Testament lists many capital offenses! There’s working on Sunday. There’s also making sacrifices to, or worshipping, the wrong God (Exodus 22:20, Deut. 17:2-5), or even showing contempt for the Lord’s priests or judges (Deut. 17:12). All are guilty of everything, including the capital offenses. OK, so now we’re finally there… God’s Word COMMANDS us such that we’ve got to kill EVERYBODY!!!

[Procrastinatus]

Honest question;

do you really think that this borderling incoherent string of verses that you’ve googled up is a revelation to the Christian community? Do you think that two thousand years of discussion and discourse, and study in greater depth than probably any other subject in Western thought… just didn’t put it together? Are you saying that thinkers like Erasmus, Luther, Calvin, and Wycliffe just didn’t put as much time into studying it like SQRLSY One? You are literally saying that you know scripture better than all of the Christians who literally don’t kill everyone. Think about the amazing ignorance in that assumption.

I mean, even if it’s all fiction, even if it’s all bullshit, don’t try to act like you’re going to pull one over on people who actually read it every day, and some who have most of it memorized.

[Procrastinatus]

I mean, Lord of the Rings is fiction, but I’m not going to act like I understand it better than my buddy who tries to live it, and can quote most of the Silmarillion. I’ll just nod my head and talk about something else when he does.

[SQRLSY One]

Well “duh” for those with impaired sarcasm meters, I am saying, you can justify ANYTHING you want to, out of the Bible, or any other “Holy” book, for that matter. The evil will do evil, and find verses to justify themselves, and the good will do good, and ditto. Ethics and morality comes from our own intuition and good will, and we can put the “Holy Books” to the side, and work from our own understanding and experiences, instead, and be better off. Whenever I see a Biblical literalist coming my way, I hide the women and the whiskey, because they are usually up to no good! As Shakespeare’s character said in one play or another, “The Devil, too, knows how to quote Scripture”. Too many (not all) literalists think that they can kiss God’s ass by being more literalistic than the next guy, and that is just one big fat evil fib? The RIGHT way to kiss God’s ass, is to treat other people the way we want to be treated. And I need NO “Holy Book” to do that!

[advancedatheist]

Libertarianism needs patriarchal social conservatism to work. When you “liberate” women from having to marry, women don’t mysteriously acquire the strength, agency and generally rational decision-making that they lacked before. They still need those things, and if they reject seeking them in stable marriages with men of good character, they will turn to the state as a substitute for husbands.

And that means they will tend to vote for defective politicians with good “game” who offer them security in exchange for those votes. Social conservatives understand this on some level by attacking the moral legitimacy of women’s sexual freedom. They think like economists: When you increase women’s sexual freedom, you do so at the cost of political and economic freedoms which over the long run have more value.

[SQRLSY One]

Well yeah? Allow me to split hairs? Women (or others in general) can have all the sexual freedom (short of raping others) they want, and it is OK by me. Just don’t use the state (coercion) to make me pay for your REPRODUCTIVE freedom. Use birth control, or give your babies up for adoption if you cannot feed them; do not be stealing my stuff from me to feed them, and then be telling me how compassionate you are, with my stuff / money!

[Heroic Mulatto]

What will most impress any parent is the boundless patience Jim Bob and Michelle have towards their many children. They handle situations with calmness and purpose, focusing on preparing capable adults, but also good people

You do realize, I hope, that reality tv isn’t.

[OldMexican]

A place where homeschooling is treated as a reasonable way to educate your children, where kids talk about “honoring” their parents rather than demanding things from them, and where older kids start successful small businesses without a traditional college education.

Yeah, the show is pretty subversive, isn’t it?

tongue-in-cheek.

This relationship blossomed after a courtship ? the Duggar children court prospective mates, they do not date. (As a father of two daughters, this seems far less outrageous than I would have imagined.)

It seems quite outrageous to me that people here in the U.S. do not court but ‘date’ (which sometimes means sleeping together.) I courted my wife. My brother courted his. And none of us are Baptists.

[Heroic Mulatto]

I courted my wife. My brother courted his. And none of us are Baptists.

Yes. But we all can’t afford to hire mariachi to serenade our heart’s desire.

[C. S. P. Schofield]

Have you tried?

[JagerIV]

How is courting different than dating?

[C. S. P. Schofield]

I was referring specifically to hiring mariachi. I mean, dinner at a first rate restaurant runs, what, $250 if you don’t drink? Should be in the same ball park, shouldn’t it?

[Almanian!]

This whole COURT is out of order!

/out of place

[DWC]

All I can say is these people must think very highly of their own genes.

[CE]

Doesn’t matter. Their genes will dominate yours, along with the Mormons and Catholics and others who have large families and pass those values on.

[Ymmarta]

I’m assuming they’ve never adopted; I wonder why.

[C. S. P. Schofield]

Or the ZPG people think very little of THEIRS. It can work both ways.

[MP]

I don’t watch these shows about oddball families (like the one about the midgets, for example) but when I see them advertised I wonder “How the fuck can they afford to live like that?”

I swear I must be doing something wrong.

[Bam!]

You don’t have a TV show. According to Wikipedia, Discovery Networks finished their house for them. That lightens the burden a bit.

[avocats]

Finished their house and likely cover al their expenses plus cash. It’s a gold mine for the channel. Ever see Jim Bob working? Nope.

Terrifying show. Women have not advanced at all in their cult.

[Procrastinatus]

I heard they don’t even let their women read.

/derp

[Not an Economist]

I saw something on the Duggar’s once on how they live, it may even have been one of the episodes. First of all, they live very frugally, lots of second hand and thrift clothing and furniture. Very little extraneous expenditures. They do a lot of the work themselves rather than have somebody else do it (They and their friends built it themselves from kits they engineered together. They used to buy their kids at a certain age a cordless power drill — a good one). They have rental property which helps supplement their income.

Take that all in, I can see how they do.

[CE]

They make their own laundry detergent too.

[Robert]

That’s how I encountered them on YouTube. YouTube (also the WWW in gen’l) is full of recipes for laundry detergent, most of them being pretty darn inferior?basically a lot of alkali with a little grated soap, probably rough on most fabrics. The $ savings are illusory AFAICT, based on the fact that alkali are cheaper than soap. Should be OK if you wear heavy clothes & don’t wash them often, as was the case 150 yrs. ago.

[creech]

We’ve all been told how much birth control costs, so I can see Mrs. Duggar must be saving $$$thousands each year!

[userve32]

That sounds like one crazy dude.

http://www.Crypt-Anon.tk

[CE]

I… find myself asking the question “What would Jim Bob do?” …

Raise good kids and treat his wife like a baby factory?

[C. S. P. Schofield]

Why do you assume she has no say in the matter? Some women LIKE being pregnant. It isn’t a headspace I can put myself in, but it appears to be true.

[MisterZizzy]

“I certainly don’t want to be a Duggar, but I have to confess that I want to be more like a Duggar than I am right now”

Google “Bill Gothard survivors”. Google “quiverfull survivors”. Google “Patrick Henry College survivors”. I think you’ll change your mind.

The Duggars are part of fundamentalist evangelical cult (yes, cult, I grew up in a similar environment). Women are strongly discouraged from attending college and working (and even living) outside the home, there’s an obsession with purity and virginity that blames mens’ transgressions on loose women instead of men assuming responsibility for their own behavior, and a belief that if you bring enough children into the world under this system, you can help usher in Christ’s kingdom on earth. It’s truly scary, bizarre, and in far too many cases, abusive stuff.

And most of this was orchestrated by Bill Gothard, a 70-something, single/never married man, who recently was forced to resign from the organization he built after decades of sexual harassment against young women came to light. The Duggars are devoted follows of Gothard, but curiously, his name his conveniently never (or rarely) mentioned.

[Sam Haysom]

“When I hear the word virginity I reach for my gun.”

The plangent moan of lonely teenagers everywhere. Do you hate innocence, prudence, thrift, and moderation too? Or just the virtue you blame for the rub burns on your hands in high school? But thanks for pointing this out I always seek out disgruntled ex-members when analyzing an organization.

[lap83]

“And most of this was orchestrated by Bill Gothard, a 70-something, single/never married man, who recently was forced to resign from the organization he built after decades of sexual harassment against young women came to light.”

You don’t really expect people to Google Bill Gothard, do you? Because they might find out that there is a difference between “sexual harassment” and “indiscretions”. You’re hoping people will just assume the worst and believe everything you say, rather than letting them make up their own minds as to whether touching hair and feet constitutes the same thing as rape or molestation.

I’m not a fan of Bill Gothard, but I know a thing or two about his teachings having grown up with religious parents and relatives who were into them. Again, I don’t like him. But it’s not a goddamn cult and it’s not right to label him and his fans as such just because you’ve got something against Christians.

[C. S. P. Schofield]

Fairly typical schismatic Christian sect, then. America produces them regularly. They either die away, or stabilize and go mainstream (Mormons being one example).

One can frame almost any lifestyle to sound like the brainstorm of a nut. I happen to, mostly, agree with you about this one, but is it any worse than the idiocy that dominates most Western colleges? And it is demonstrably better than what ISIS (or whatever they are calling themselves this week) are pushing, if only by degree.

[RJ The Terrible]

Whenever I see a ‘survivors’ website I read it to see the failure modes of the crazy being preached at “pick.it” organization. The people who post there are typically those who got jammed up in a particular failure mode.

I live about 30 miles east of PHC, I know fair number of the graduates. What I see are smart and well adjusted people. The self selection that comes with the act of writing on a survivors website cannot be ignored.

That said … one of the worst I ever saw was at “http://www.sgmsurvivors.com/”

[JWatts]

“The Duggars are part of fundamentalist evangelical cult …”

The Duggars don’t appear to be harming or demanding anything from anyone else. They seem to be happy, industrious and self sufficient. While I don’t want to follow their lifestyle, I’ve got no reason to begrudge them the right to make their own choices.

“It’s truly scary, bizarre, and in far too many cases, abusive stuff.”

In what way does the Duggar’s lifestyle, which is very well documented, fit that description. And I’m curious, do you think somebody should do something about their “scary, bizarre and abusive” lifestyle?

[Robert]

Is Halt and Catch Fire about computers and the programming thereof? It was a joke about one or more computers that a certain undocumented op code would cause them to lock up and hence deserved the assembler mnemonic HCF for Halt & Catch Fire.

[Christophe]

It is. My parents keep recommending I watch it. But because I actually program computers for a living, I can’t suspend disbelief for long enough to get into the story.

[superuser]

I love the show.

[Cbalducc]

The Duggars are doing their own thing AND acting responsibly. Isn’t that libertarian?

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