U.S. Goes After Somali Militants, FBI Goes After Celeb Photo Hackers, Illinois Libertarians Go After Shady GOP: A.M. Links

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  1. Because really, what are a few more military operations around the world at this point?

    Because we hate their freedom.

    1. Oh man. I had that, and then deleted it and added the news about people being reported dead. Saved at 8:59, just before it published, I thought.

      1. Nope. No credit for you.

      2. Let the commenters fall on their inappropriate swords for you.

      3. No one’s faster than Fist — even contributors!

      4. U.S. troops conducted airstrikes where al-Shabab militants were meeting in Somalia Monday.

        What were those evil bastards doing? Plotting to build roads, I’ll bet.

        1. Seriously. Troops should be worried about keeping their rifles clean and staying fit. Airstrikes? Shouldn’t that be left to the dorks in the Air Force?

          1. Its like how all vehicles are tanks and all weapons are machineguns – all military personnel are troops.

            1. To be fair, very few in the air force wants to be on the ground, telling aircraft where to drop off their supplies.

              I love me some ALO (Air Force Liaison Officer), but the AF barely considers them to be human.

              1. They aren’t human. They’ve been touched by the Army.

                1. And now they are more, more than a towel rolling Airman!

                  1. Costs us millions in deprogramming. Literally. Millions to teach them to fly again and to stop saying hoooaaah.

                    It’s quite a process and those poor bastards are never quite right again.

    2. Hello.

      Hey. First day back at school for the kid. Blah, blah…

  2. I posted yesterday OT, but too delicious to not throw it out again. Apologies if it was already in a links

    I’m sick of being part of the problem, but too unskilled or unstable to quit

    1. too delicious to not throw it out again

      Holy Fucking Shit! Why do you people do this to me?! My new Kevlar reinforced cup hasn’t been delivered yet!!!

      Owwwwwwwww, my nuts!!

    2. He’s very sick.

    3. Poor fucking baby. Walmart is probably hiring, jackass.

    4. So fuck you. Quit.

      1. His response to that suggestion:

        “The thought has crossed my mind. Will you hold my spot for me on the line if I go?”

        We’re one cop away from total anarchy!

        1. No really, he actually responded with that line of shit?

          That martyr complex goes well with his persecution syndrome.

    5. Well, if you’re so sick of it, then let’s be a part of the solution. Until cops realize that they are now the brownshirts for the USG, and people are getting sick of having every aspect of their lives reviewed and mandated, then this will continue. I grant that there are a lot of really bad people out there and interacting with them is not fun and is likely highly stressful. But it still stands that there has been a massive expansion of laws and restrictions, and a huge increase in personnel, not to mention the W.O.D. that has escalated things. When the average citizen feels like they’ve got a boot half-way on their neck, there’s something wrong, and maybe if cops were a part of trying to ramp down the attempt to criminalized and institutionalize everyone, then MAYBE their job wouldn’t be so stressful, or least legitimate stressful as they execute laws that protect life and property from clear and present danger.

  3. Your morning Millennial fix:

    New Book Warns of Evangelical Left Influence on Millennials
    …”The goal of the Christian Left is to undermine the authority of the Bible by painting inconsistencies in Scripture, which they hope will breed confusion and, at times, doubt. Once the lines of truth are blurred, young Evangelicals start to reconcile their faith with liberal political platforms like same-sex marriage, taxpayer funded abortions and contraception, feminism, pacifism, and big government….

    1. One back at you. Chelsea Clinton kept coming to mind while I was reading this

      1. Hey, Chelsea pulled down $600K/yr at NBC!

      2. So what we really need to do is the other huge thing that we did in the decades after World War II, which is a massive investment in public higher education.

        Why is it always we need to throw more money at the problem?

        1. Because it is the easiest idea to communicate for addressing an ill defined problem?

        2. Because when we do lots of it lands in the right pockets.

        3. Actually, it strikes me that what the post-World War II “massive investment in public higher education” produced was an inordinate number of intellectual mediocrities who thought they were well educated because they had gone through the motions of getting a university education.

          These people, by and large, were the people who took charge of universities from the 1960s on.

      3. The author, bemoans creditialism and thinks that the solution is dumping even more money into higher education.

        OK, derp.

  4. Apple is looking into whether the hacker(s) obtained the photos from its cloud storage service, iCloud.

    Remind me again why I want to use a cloud?

    1. Its convenient for things you dont mind going public.

    2. Cloud is fine, but you need to combine it with encryption and strong passwords with keys they cloud provider doesn’t have.

    3. Because Apple is so user friendly you don’t need an SD Card slot.

    4. We don’t need removable encrypted storage, we just need to teach men not to hack into databases to get pictures of hot naked women.

      1. Hack? Why should we have to have passwords at all?

        Teach men not to look at freely accessible nude photos of attractive women!

        1. Teach men not to look at freely accessible nude photos of attractive women!

          WHAT? While I’m here at my government contracting job? Stop othering me, you bastard!

      2. We don’t need locks, we just need to teach men not to break into people’s homes.

    5. It’s useful for non-nudity related things like Crusader Kings 2 save games.

    6. Forget the cloud! I want to know what a ‘bevy’ is?!

  5. Before declaring that there’s a ‘rape epidemic’ in the US, has anybody bothered to check the actual data? Apparently not
    …From 1972 to 1992, the rate of rapes in the US almost doubled from 22.5 rapes per 100,000 inhabitants in 1972 to a peak of 42.8 in 1992. Then for the next 21 years, the rate declined in almost every year, and fell to a 41-year low of 23.6 rapes per 100,000 inhabitants in 2013 (based on January-June data), the lowest rate since 1972. Also note that the current rate of 23.6 rapes per 100,000 inhabitants means that there would be approximately 23.6 rapes per 50,000 women, or 1 in about 2,100….

    1. Clearly the crime statistics are sexist.

    2. Of course not. When data interferes with the narrative the data is false. When data supports the narrative it is settled science.

    3. They got a rape culture in Britain ( eg Rotherham) but no one in the media on this side of the pond has noticed…

      1. Those weren’t microagressions. Those girls weren’t othered. And moral relativism.

      2. Well it was a rape culture perpetrated by ‘Asians’ and not white people so there really isn’t a story at all. Unless the rape victims were then cast into a disused septic tank?

      3. Sites that have no mention of Rotherham

        Jezebel
        Feministing
        feminist.org
        feministfrequency.com
        feministe
        bitch magazine

        1. Fucking disgraceful…

          1. And entirely predictable.

        2. Why should any of those sites currently mention a post from this past May?

          H&R actually had a better post that was specifically about campus rape issues more recently itself.

          Longtorso’s links are not always the freshest.

          1. I searched each site’s history.

          2. I’m not feeling fresh this morning. How about you?

        3. No mention in them just like no mention from environmental groups of the ecological disasters that communist countries caused, and for the same reason.

    4. I’m pretty sure the rejoinder is that these statistics are unreliable, since the vast majority of rapes (ostensibly) go unreported. Because culture.

      Which is why you have Ivy league schools competing on the number of sexual misconduct cases reported rather than prevented.

    5. and if we got rid of Warty and STEVE SMITH, the rates would plummet to just a trickle.

      1. Warty Hugeman rapes no one. In fact, he has to flee through time to escape all the women that fling their vaginas at his throbbing love sausage.

  6. Chicago is spending millions to line streets where children walk to school with random adults.

    The Brits used to do something similar with Australian troops in WWII.

    1. “We want you stand here, around Tobruk…”

      1. We’re not that stupid. We stayed for the football, beer and two-up

        1. Come on, now – let’s all go to Gallipoli, eh wot?!

  7. An article so stupid even Salon readers can spot it

    So here’s what’s going to happen. Society is going to realize that power as great as Uber’s needs to be checked. Uber, by virtue of its own success, will demonstrate where the lines need to be drawn for the general good.

    (soz if this has already been posted)

    1. I seriously can’t tell the difference between The Onion and… everything else these days.

      1. The Onion is the one that’s least funny.

    2. “the lines need to be drawn for the general good.” Has/was there ever an excuse used more as a prelude to the forcible extermination of rights?

    3. Uber is out there providing cheap and needed services at the expense large corporations and government mandated monopolies. Oh no!!

      They really hate any sort of change.

      1. Dynamists vs Stasists.

        And that comment is funny coming from you.

        1. Only if you thing technology and change are one and the same and that change is always positive. it is just as stupid to say that change is always good as it is to say that change is always bad.

          If you think technology will always make your free, you have adopted technology as a religion. It might make you free, but it also might empower your masters to enslave you. It all depends. Sadly, since there is no way to control technology, there is not much we can do about it. But that doesn’t make the future any better.

          1. Change isnt always good, but I dont fear it.

            Also:

            Hail Eris!

            1. If you don’t have a healthy skepticism of change, you don’t understand the world. You can’t know what the effects of change are going to be. If you could, we would be able to plan and manage it like the progs want us too.

              There is this idea that change is always towards freedom enlightenment. We tend to think that because for our lifetimes and a few before us, that was largely true. But that is the exception not the rule. Things often do get worse and worse in a big and very long term way. And usually they get worse when civilizations loose confidence in their values and start tearing shit down in the name of progress.

              1. Which part of “Hail Eris!” did you not understand?

                1. All of it. And if you love discord, you really haven’t experienced much of it. I am pretty sure the worship of discord, while very popular when the Romans were fat dumb and happy and could afford to be decadent, wasn’t so popular when the Huns showed up.

                  1. Chaos sucks for the person experiencing it.

                    But that doesnt mean it isnt a good thing overall.

                    Its just a sort of hyper-schumpeterism.

                    1. So things like World War II or the Huns sacking Rome were good things? The Black Plague was a good thing? I mean it did put an end to serfdom by creating one hell of a labor shortage.

                      Just because society recovers from disasters and no disaster lasts forever, doesn’t mean those disasters are “good things”. I mean maybe serfdom could have ended without killing a quarter of the population?

                      You sound like the dumbest of undergrads here. In the thread about driverless cars you actually said “well if you don’t want your mail read just don’t use email”. If I were really a dick, I would mark that post and put it up on the next NSA thread with the tag “RobC said there is nothing to worry about here”. But I won’t because I know you didn’t mean it that way. You just let your religious views regarding technology seduce you into saying things you would normally correctly see as silly.

                  2. You sound like a buggy whip manufacturer in moments like these.

                    Change sucked hard for them. But you wouldnt have got the automobiles you love without that change.

                    And change may make them a rich mans toy in the future.

    4. Well, they can construct a monopoly since they have a lock on the three key ingredients:
      1. Apps
      2. Smart phones
      3. Cars

      …wait, what fourth key ingredient is Government Power to maintain a cartel.
      Better get on the Uber dudes.

    5. What happens to labor ? the Uber drivers ? when they have no alternative but Uber?

      Um, sounds like it might possibly be a little bit like the current taxi cartel situation?

      1. what happens to labor when Uber switches to driverless cars?

    6. Wow, that is stupid.

      Aren’t there currently other successful companies doing pretty much the same thing as Uber?

      1. Yes. I almost exclusively use Lyft.

  8. Troops conducted air strikes? Is the Army horning in on the Air Force’s mission? Or does it want to re-absorb the Air Force into the USAAC?

    1. The Air Farce has failed, it is to be dissolved and subordianted to the army again…

      1. Dang it! Knew I was close…

        *grumble grumble next time use Google first…*

      2. Do we have to wear the new mall cop uniforms???

        1. Army mall cop or AF mall cop?

          1. AF shirts aren’t white… yet

    1. Like steroids and adderall, any “unfair” advantage you can grasp is considered cheating to these people.

      1. Which is stupid. Why shouldn’t you “cheat” to make yourself smarter if it isn’t going to damage you in the long run?
        Cheating in sports is a very different case, since sports are all based on arbitrary rules that you just have to follow if you are going to play the sport. The only cheating that should be frowned upon in intellectual pursuits is copying other people’s work or making shit up.

        1. Making yourself smarter allows you to cheat at life, which is all based on arbitrary laws that you just have to follow if you don’t want to be thrown in a cage.

          1. That really gets to the heart of the problem.
            People actually believe that life should work the same as a game where you obey the arbitrary rules just because they are the rules.

  9. …alleging the party hired private investigators to visit the homes of those who signed an LP petition.

    See? The GOP likes privatization of state functions just as much as libertarians.

    1. The democrats send around ACORN and SEIU ‘volunteers’ to visit.

  10. Texas Gov. Rick Perry deleted an “unauthorized” tweet from his account calling District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg “the most drunk Democrat in Texas.”

    That’s practically a complement.

    1. He should have left it up.

    2. But probably not true. I’m sure there are a good number of extremely drunk Democrats in Texas.

    3. Yeah, he should make it a contest:

      “Nominate the most drunk Democrat in Texas politics! I’m starting with DA Lehmberg.”

  11. The Carbuncle Cup for Britain’s ugliest new building: the shortlist has been announced

      1. That wasn’t there an hour ago. Bizarre. Try this

        1. Ah yes, there it is. Didn’t know “brutalist” was an architectural style…

          1. “Soviet Cementski”

            “Wog Moderne”

            “Semiotics Student School”

          2. go to Moscow.

          3. Steve: Boston City Hall is a notable example here in the States. Also, several buildings on the University of Wisconsin campus.

            It was popular in the 60s and 70s, as one of its design features is riot control.

        2. The Unite Stratford City building deserves an arson attempt.

  12. In one tragic incident, an 11-year-old girl inside a house at a slumber party was killed when a bullet fired outside at someone else pierced a wall and struck her in the head.

    Yeah, I suppose lining the streets with enough random adults might prevent stuff like that.

    1. Well, they’d form a wall of human shields and one of them would have stopped the bullet.

      1. Exactly.

        And if it might help save just one child’s life, aren’t we obligated to try?

  13. Alt-text: This is my sexy face.

    1. Yeah, she was cool and girl next door, then Bachelorette ruined her for me. Nudes seem pointless at this juncture.
      OTOH, did y’all see J-Law’s pics?

  14. …calling District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg “the most drunk Democrat in Texas.”

    So many drunk Texas Dems took umbrage.

    1. “My blood is legally booze! How dare you call her the most…hic…drunk?”

  15. Sex geckos die in orbit

    “Sex geckos” would be a nice band name, had the “Sex Pistols” not existed.

    1. What about “Space Geckos”?

      1. You’re most welcome, Elizabeth.

    2. Experts say the geckos may have frozen to death after the heating system broke down

      So, outer space is just like the rest of Russia.

  16. No justice, no hamburgers!

    “On Thursday, we are prepared to take arrests to show our commitment to the growing fight for $15,” said Terrence Wise, a Burger King employee in Kansas City, Mo., and a member of the fast-food workers’ national organizing committee. At a convention that was held outside Chicago in July, 1,300 fast-food workers unanimously approved a resolution calling for civil disobedience as a way to step up pressure on the fast-food chains.

    “They’re going to use nonviolent civil disobedience as a way to call attention to what they’re facing,” said Mary Kay Henry, president of the Service Employees International Union, which has spent millions of dollars helping to underwrite the campaign. “They’re invoking civil rights history to make the case that these jobs ought to be paid $15 and the companies ought to recognize a union.”

    President Obama, in a Labor Day speech in Milwaukee, mentioned the fast-food campaign, saying, “All across the country right now there’s a national movement going on made up of fast-food workers organizing to lift wages so they can provide for their families with pride and dignity.”

    Mr. Obama added that if he had a service-sector job, and “wanted an honest day’s pay for an honest day’s work, I’d join a union.”

    1. The robot scabs promptly took over operation of the kitchen. Quality and service improved.

      1. This will be a hilarious and completely predictable outcome.

        1. My daughter is looking for a project for her robotics class, this was my suggestion.

          1. My son likes to watch How It’s Made. It is truly incredible what automation can accomplish. Something as absurdly simple as fast food prep will eventually fall to automation – and I bet the fries will be more consistent.

            1. And the food will be less infused with spit, feces, urine, and semen.

            2. And I bet robots will be near flawless in getting the order right.

              1. Meh, programmers suck, so the robots will still screw stuff up.

                1. For relatively simple, repetitive tasks, I think they could work out the kinks pretty quickly. The company I work for has some food handling robots doing significantly more complicated things than woudl be required for cooking burgers and fries.

                2. Fast food workers – even the better paid ones like Five Guys – get my order wrong about 25% of the time. I expect the burger bots will do much better than that.

                  1. It helps if you keep your order as simple as possible. I know you shouldn’t have to do that, but look at what you’re working with. If a 75% accuracy is a problem for you then just order numbered meals with common sides/drinks and the accuracy will go up to almost 100%.

                    1. Except Five Guys doesn’t have that. How hard is it to remember the A1 sauce? Do they *really* think I would order a burger with no sauce of any kind??

                      Some places have DIY condiments – I love that.

                3. Nothing says pride and dignity like working at BK!

                4. That’s why we do testing first. Each order can easily be assembled factory-style. The hang up will be with customer interface. You’ll have to depend on customers to select what they want via touch screen. It works okay in places like Sheetz already, but you’ll always have to have a person around for when the customer screws up.

    2. Mr. Obama added that if he had a service-sector job, and “wanted an honest day’s pay for an honest day’s work, I’d join a union.”

      The President went on to say, “But, as we all know, I’ve never done an honest day’s work in my life.”

      1. Sure, but software can be fixed. The same can’t be said for the thirty-five-year-old that thinks working the counter at Taco Bell is a lifelong career choice.

        1. Gah, stupid squirrels. This was meant for robc’s comment above.

          1. Example of joez law?

      2. More evidence that the man doesn’t know the meaning of the word “honest”.

    3. I was 16 when I worked part-time at a warehouse. I was forced to join a union, which – monthly – garnished my paycheck enough that I was hardly taking anything home for that week.

      All for a canned ham for Thanksgiving.

      1. You are cheap

        1. How would you know? You don’t even HAVE Thanksgiving you antipodean heathen. With your “football” and your “beer”.

      2. Never been in a union, never want to, but this mandatory membership crap still just boggles my mind. Whatever good may have come of collective bargaining in the golden years was completely overplayed to this bastardization

    4. What if the SEIU just gave the millions they spent on the campaign to the lowest paid members of SEIU?

      1. The union exists *for the people*, not the individual union-members.

        1. The People = The Managers

    5. Well, once BK moves to Canada and slashes their tax bill, they *might* be able to make that $15/hr dream a reality.

      1. Unlikely, as BK will still be paying the same corporate tax rate in the US as it is paying now. I doubt it will use the tax savings on its overseas operations to subsidize inefficiency in the US.

  17. The Illinois Libertarian Party (LP) filed a criminal complaint against the state GOP, alleging the party hired private investigators to visit the homes of those who signed an LP petition.

    But I thought Libertarians were just Repubs who wanted to smoke pot?

    1. The Illinois GOP obviously thinks that if the LP isn’t on the ballot, libertarian voters will pull the GOP lever. (Or fill in the GOP bubble, I suppose.)

    2. You forgot the ass sex and Mexicans

      1. And low-riders and snow.

      2. Oh, I love that. John really deserves a medal of some sort for “Ass sex, pot and Mexicans”.

        1. Right? Ass Sex, Pot, and Mexicans would be a great name for either a band or a convenience store.

          1. I could see it as a line extension for the Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms franchises.

          2. If no one has done so already, I’m going to have the t-shirt made.
            It’s even better than “alcohol tobacco and firearms”.

  18. Does anybody seriously believe that dummy could cut it as a shift manager at McDonald’s?

    1. The Fraternal Order of Crash Test Dummies objects to this charactarization as a ‘dummy’.

    2. Probably not, but Obama would do great moving up the union’s power structure my mouthing the correct commie BS, making deals, and stabbing rivals in the back.

      1. The funny thing is, I don’t think he’s thuggish enough to move up the internal union ladder.

  19. The S.E.I.U., which represents hundreds of thousands of health care workers and janitors, is encouraging home-care aides to march alongside the fast-food strikers. The union hopes that if thousands of the nation’s approximately two million home-care aides join in it would put more pressure on cities and states to raise their minimum wage.

    “They want to join,” Ms. Henry said. “They think their jobs should be valued at $15.”

    Well, that settles it, then.

  20. U.S. troops conducted airstrikes where al-Shabab militants were meeting in Somalia Monday.

    AND THAT’S WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE ROADS!!

  21. Radioactive wild boar roaming the forests of Germany

    That reminds me: Haven’t heard much from STEVE SMITH lately.

    1. Just think, if it gored you then you’d possess all the proportionate strength and powers of a pig.

      1. You would be so delicious that criminals would just surrender.

    2. STEVE SMITH BEEN BUSY. SO MANY HIKERS TO RAPE NOW THAT SUMMER SEASON ENDING!

    3. How do you think that boar became irradiated?

      1. “Boris the Boar had managed his long trek from the copse of trees near Chernobyl, just to be hounded by German reporters and photogs…”

  22. re: the leaked photos.

    Kate Upton looks okay in some photos but in others… uh… what a weird body she has.

    and I’ll also note how just plain normal and plain some of those stars looks – without the makeup, photoshop, and proper camera angles – why they could be the girl next door who is showing off her junk.

    1. Makeup is a wonderful thing.

      1. Many Hollywood “beauties” are kind of plain-faced. A nice blank-slate for the makeup artists.

        1. Vintage make-up department

          (I don’t think it’s complete, since Youtube lists the running time as just over 8 minutes, and IMDb lists the short as 12 minutes.)

    2. how just plain normal and plain some of those stars looks…why they could be the girl next door who is showing off her junk…

      It does make you wonder what they did to get where they are.

      How much luck was involved, and how much casting couch? 50/50?

      1. A whole lot of casting couch. Think about someone like Jennifer Lawrance. Ninety percent of most of her parts involve looking the role. If you look like the dream, hot girl next door, how hard is it to play the role she did in Silver Linings Playbook? Acting is when you really transform yourself into something you are not. This is why only real actors can do believable period pieces. It is a whole different deal playing someone from a different time than it is pretending you are basically a slightly altered version of yourself. The latter only requires you be good looking and have moderate talent. And yes, there are a ton of good looking, moderately talented women running around Hollywood.

        The sick part of it is, the same is true of child actors.

        1. Did you see Winter’s Bone? To go from Winter’s Bone to SLP to American Hustle shows pretty nice range.

          1. I didn’t see Winter’s Bone. I did see SLP and American Hustle. American Hustle is a very good movie. But I didn’t find Lawrance’ acting that remarkable. She has a well written part of a young wife. It was hardly a stretch.

            It is not that she can’t act. It is that she can’t act any better than a whole lot of other people out there. There are people in college drama departments all over America that have as much ability as she does. What they don’t likely have are her looks and luck at being in the right place at the right time.

    3. Upton’s boobs are too big for her body. Jennifer Lawrance in contrast looks spectacular. She is as good as you would have hoped. Upton, while not unattractive was a bit of a disappointment, especially when you remember that body has to make up for her being dumb as a fence post.

      1. Upton’s boobs are too big for her body.

        Unpossible.

        1. Not unpossible, but definitely does not apply to Kate. That gal has a very beefy frame.

          1. They are just too big and squishy. She would do well to get a really good plastic surgeon to tame those puppies down a bit. With that much to work with, a good surgeon could make them into works of art.

            1. Well, she’ll probably have to eventually when her back starts hurting all the time (if it hasn’t already).
              Also, a lot of her appeal seems to be the very obviously natural big boobs.

              1. That is totally her appeal. They just look a bit disappointing when seen in their full glory.

            2. What the hell? Did Sarcasmic get John’s password and start spoofing him?

              1. Contrary to myth Bobarian, I don’t like fat women or really women with enormous breasts. Sarcasmic just says I do to cover up for the fact that he doesn’t like women at all.

      2. Where are you finding this stuff?

  23. Indonesian student faces six years in jail for defaming a city by calling it ‘stupid’ on social media

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..z3CAE897DP

    1. Next time, say “intellectually challenged”.

      1. “Genetically predisposed to suboptimal outcomes”

    2. The rest of the world is good at showing us where America is headed.

  24. In management’s infinite wisdom, they… okay he… decided to upgrade our main ERP software package. On Labor Day.

    I got four hours of sleep last night. Running on nothing but anger.

    1. “It *compiled*, didn’t it?”

    2. That sucks. We had to patch some firewalls on Friday. Of course my largest client was forced to upgrade the vpn client and I spent Saturday making sure there people could be productive the rest of the weekend.

    3. I’m sure the take away will be to forego backups next time in order to cut down on the upgrade time.

      When disaster strikes, he will blame you for the lack of upgrades. “Last time you made such a big deal about not getting any sleep! We had to cut something to make the window.”

  25. So this morning I stopped at McDonalds and saw a bum in the median with some sign that said he lost everything in a fire and needs help and blah blah blah.

    I asked the girl behind the counter if he’d applied for a job. She said the manager offered him a job and he refused, though he still comes in for his morning coffee.

    1. You expect him to debase himself by working?

      I’ll bet his wife comes and picks him up in her shiny car at the end of the day. Some people just make a career out of being bums.

      1. A couple years back there was this guy begging on the Walmart median who made the mistake of inviting media attention. A reporter did some actual investigation, and found that the guy’s story was a total farce. He immediately disappeared.

        1. One of our legal assistants rides the bus to work every day. A while back she went in a bit earlier than usual and caught an earlier bus. On it she saw a guy who lives in her apartment building dressed down and then proceed to get off at a busy intersection with his “homeless need help sign”. And this asshole was living in a decent neighborhood in a decent building.

          1. Wasn’t there a Sherlock Holmes story about this? The “Man with the Twisted Lip?”

            1. I don’t know. But I am told on good authority you can make upwards of $10 an hour tax free begging in large each coast cities.

              1. Twenty years ago I knew bums who made $60-$100 a day. That was in Boulder, CO.

            2. It seems that Mr. St. Clair has been leading a double life, one of respectability, and the other as a beggar. In his youth, he had been an actor before becoming a newspaper reporter. In order to research an article, he had disguised himself as a beggar for a short time, during which he earned a very large amount of money. Later in his life, he returned to the street to beg for several days in order to pay a large debt. Given a choice between his newspaper salary and his high beggar earnings, he eventually became a professional beggar. His takings were large enough that he was able to establish himself as a country gentleman, marry well, and begin a respectable family. His wife never knew what he did for a living, and Holmes agrees to preserve Mr. St. Clair’s secret as long as no more is heard of Hugh Boone.

              http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T…..wisted_Lip

            3. Yes, but he wasn’t an asshole; he was a reporter.

              1. I don’t know what kind of team UF has, but if they are athletic, they will have a shot against FSU this year. Did you watch OSU FSU game?

                The thing people are missing about that game was that going into it you would have thought that FSU would be the bigger, faster, more athletic team and if it was close it would be because they looked rusty and made mistakes and OSU didn’t. Instead, the opposite happened. OSU ran FSU in the ground. At the end of the game the FSU defense looked exhausted, their vaunted offensive line looked slow and lumbering the entire game and OSU generally looked like the more athletic team that lost because of key mistakes on special teams (two muffed punts) and an INT returned for a TD and a key late fumble by their quarterback. FSU is good, but athletically they are not what they are cracked up to be.

                1. Heck if I know what kind of team UF has–they were totally decimated by injuries last year, and God himself intervened to prevent them from playing Saturday. Fuck it, who needs sports, anyway?

                  1. It is like the Spice. Once you start using it, you can’t stop. I gave up sports last January. The end of the football season was just that fucking awful for me. It was one nut punch after another. I was so pissed off, I couldn’t even get into college basketball and March Madness. Yet, here we are in September and I am back.

                    1. Well there is definitely something highly entertaining in the NFL. I just find it boring to watch so I make sure I am doing something else while watching.

                    2. The NFL is just boring. They have managed to ruin a great product. College in contrast is still fun. Just like college basketball is fun while the NBA is like watching grass grow.

          2. That doesn’t surprise me. Americans are charitable people. There’s good money to be made in begging.

        2. When I separated from the AF, one of the out-briefings mentioned that panhandling on street medians was a good way to end up face down in a ditch. Those panhandlers have a good thing and guard it well.

          1. Is that part of the AF version of ACAP (Army Career and Alumni Program)

            1. TAP, transition assistance program. They save the VA disability brief til the end to hold everyone’s attention.

              1. At least the AirFarce teaches you how to pan-handle properly.

                The Army just teaches you how to live outside.

      2. “We prefer the term ‘professional mendicant’ to ‘bum'”

        /Beggar

      3. There is a woman who.sits on the Roberto Clemente Bridge before every Pirates game with a dog and a sign that reads something like “homeless, God Bless.” She is there every game. Both she and the dog look well fed. Perhaps she.is homeless, but she looks to me as if she is healthy and could probably get a job working at the ball park or one of the nearby restaurants.

    2. And that’s why we need a $15/hr min wage.

    3. My favorite is the bums with dogs standing on the median. If you are homeless and hungry, step 1 is get rid of the fucking dog (or perhaps eat it). Beggars with dogs really annoy me.

  26. Call yourselves kings of the jungle? Mongoose takes on FOUR lions… and wins
    Surrounded mongoose growls at big cats and even bites one on the nose
    Photographer Jerome Guillaumot came across the scene in Kenya
    He spotted the four young lions surrounding the terrified marsh mongoose
    It soon became apparent however the small carnivore could handle itself

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-wins.html
    I can see why Kipling was impressed.

    1. Those are obviously female lions, so if this is a male mongoose, this is just further proof of rape culture and male violence agaist women. We need to pass more laws.

    2. I always loved Rikki-Tikki-Tavi – even that 70s-iriffic cartoon.

    3. I gotta pull up the lion vs hyena video every few months (the ‘smack my bitch up’ version). Makes me want go out and kill a deer w/ my bare hands…or destroy some squats as the case may be.

  27. Family demand investigation after coroner’s report finds man was shot in the chest when police claim he was shot in the back while handcuffed
    Victor White’s family and attorneys have asked for a separate investigation into whether or not White killed himself
    Louisiana State Police said White – while his hands were handcuffed behind him in a police vehicle – died after he fired a bullet into his own back
    The coroner’s report, however, says White suffered a gunshot wound to the chest

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-back.html
    Will anything else happen?

    1. Yes. The widow will be harassed by the cops until she leaves town or dies.

  28. Five geckos launched into space as part of experiment into sex at zero gravity DIE during their mission
    One male and four female lizards blasted into space by Russian scientists
    They wanted to see effect of zero gravity on the creatures’ sexual behaviour
    But after the satellite landed yesterday, it was revealed they had died in orbit
    It is thought the lizards – the latest animals to die in space – may have frozen

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..ssion.html
    That picture is of an anole, not a gecko. Idiots.

    1. Could be a partially mummified gecko ….

    2. GEICO bribed them to use the term “gecko”.

    3. So it was actually anole sex?

      1. You’re worse than Hitler.

        1. Sure but is he worse than Nicole?

          1. Nope, she has the worst title locked down.

  29. http://althouse.blogspot.com/2…..ckers.html

    Lena Dunham never misses a chance to be a complete moron. Ricky Gervaise is right. If you are a female celebrity and want to let the manbo you are dating this month take nude pics of you, use a camera instead of your phone and don’t store it on the cloud.

    A couple of great comments, which can be rare for Althouse.

    John Nowak said:

    I wish people would stop saying “the Cloud” and replace it with “Someone else’s server.”

    I think that would make some decisions more clear for what they are.

    And

    Forbes said…

    Lena Dunham: Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life.

    1. Seriously, do not forget that the person who stole these pictures and leaked them is not a hacker: they’re a sex offender.

      And “sex offender” gets yet another definition expansion.

      1. What is happening to Jennifer Lawrance is totally just the same as what happened to those kids Jerry Sandusky sodomized.

        My God is that woman insulting stupid.

      2. They’re worse than a sex offender — they’re a sex gecko!

      3. Not much of jump from that stretch of logic to sex offender = every guy who searched for the leaked pics. And boom, just like that every man is a sex offender, which is what they wanted in the first place.

        1. We’re just born that way.

          1. Cue Lady Gaga.

      4. Also Dunham: “Also sad I can’t make one joke about having shown my t*ts on purpose without a massive qualitative tit debate.”

        Because your tits are awful. They are the tit equivalent of a mass grave. The possibly of having to one day see your horrible tits are the reason infants scream and cry the moment they are born.

        1. And isn’t her tits and body being so awful part of her act? Isn’t the fact that she is the least attractive woman on TV and yet takes her clothes off in every episode of her show part of the joke?

          1. It’s an amazingly unfunny joke. But, yes, she is “confronting” the audience with her morbid breasts, her jiggling belly and giant, zitty ass. It’s an assault on the dreaded male gaze.

            And if there is a scene with attractive nudity, she wraps it in so much shame and disgust it becomes repellent or it is presented in a sex scene the dances close to rape.

            1. You sound like you have watched it. I decided not to submit myself to such punishment.

              1. The worst thing is that she’s really a pretty good writer, observant and sharp. She just whores her talent to her politics.

                1. She just whores her talent to her politics.

                  That’s not unusual at all anymore. I was watching Orphan Black last night, which is entertaining in general, and they introduced a character that developed tech for helping honeybees that was co-opted for military drones. Fucking completely ruined the episode for me.

                  1. The joke Orphan Black is playing on their supposed progressive audience lies in the characters of Kasima and Jack. If they are duplicates, then it undermines the genetic basis for LGBT orientation.

                    1. I just started Season 2. The concept was good, but I’m starting to see some fraying edges. We’ll see how it holds up.

            2. How is she “comforting” them? IS the idea to make any women under the age of 70 with even an average body for her age feel attractive in comparison?

              1. No, it’s more about making men uncomfortable than making women feel better about their bodies.

                The Jezebel line is that Dunham has a completely average body, and average is all men should expect. (Of course, Dunham is “average” in the since that she is about the right height and weight for an American woman her age–unless you throw race in there as an additional factor–and they refuse to consider that maybe the “average” American woman is just fat.)

                1. I’ve watched a couple episodes. I hate the show. because while I know people who are as selfish and small as the characters I don’t really find a show with zero characters I can emphasize with to be entertaining. I can understand why the shows main demographic is millennials though.

                2. Dunham is not average. She may be of average height and weight, but there is more to being “average” than height and weight. Just because a woman is not thin, doesn’t mean she can’t have acceptably perky boobs or something resembling a normal set of curves. And of course even if she doesn’t, she could also have a nice face and not be covered in skanky body tatoos.

                  Beyond that, it is profoundly sexist of the Jezzebels to think that women are only judged by how they look naked. I would suspect most couples over the age of 40 don’t get off to much on looking at each other naked. The world is full of tales of average looking couples who thought it would be a great idea to make a sex tape right up until they had to watch it. Perhaps men and women both can be attracted to one another based on something besides looking good naked or that just because you don’t look good naked, a woman or a man can (gasp) dress well to hide their flaws and accentuate their virtues and look good anyway? That thought would never occur to the Jezzies.

                  1. Durham just looks like shit for her age. I think she must make an effort to look like shit. It’s pretty hard to look that awful in your 20s without having kids and smoking a lot of meth.

          2. If that’s the case the jokes on everybody who watches and I don’t like to be made fun of.

          3. I don’t keep up with celebrity culture, so I had no idea of who Dunham was. After Googling the name, I wonder who’s would be interested in seeing her tits. Indeed she must be the least attractive woman on any TV show other than a celebration of the obese like the weight-loss and demented child beauty pageant “reality” TV.

            1. If ever there was a good reason not to keep up with celebrity culture, Lena Dunham is it.

        2. They are the tit equivalent of a mass grave.

          That was wonderfully harsh.

          *applause*

        3. The possibly of having to one day see your horrible tits are the reason infants scream and cry the moment they are born.

          You’ve still got it!

    2. The Cloud = a giant shared drive you don’t administer.

  30. Android security mystery ? ‘fake’ cellphone towers found in U.S.

    Seventeen mysterious cellphone towers have been found in America which look like ordinary towers, and can only be identified by a heavily customized handset built for Android security ? but have a much more malicious purpose, according to Popular Science.

    The fake ‘towers’ ? computers which wirelessly attack cellphones via the “baseband” chips built to allow them to communicate with their networks, can eavesdrop and even install spyware, ESD claims. They are a known technology – but the surprise is that they are in active use.

    NSA or DEA?

    1. FBI

    2. That is right in the NSA’s wheelhouse.

      1. Why would the NSA need fake cell phone towers in the USA? They can just bully the telephone companies into giving them data.

        1. They can get the data but they can’t install spyware. Those towers allow them to do more than just listen to phone calls.

      2. Totally. No way a non-government criminal organization does that. Why bother? It is not like identity theft is hard. That is absolutely the NSA. Who else could it be?

      3. The technology is, but I don’t think they’re responsible in this case. They probably provided the tech to the FBI.

    3. It doesn’t matter which, since they’re all going to be sharing their info.

  31. So peeps, how did you spend Labor Day?

    1. Working, of course.

      You?

    2. It was rainy and humid here, so I spent the day working on my erotic memoirs.

      1. I think you’ve got it backwards.

        The thought of you writing erotic memoirs made Gaia cry.

    3. I watched Spirit of the Beehive on TCM, not having seen it before.

    4. Let’s see:

      Installing backsplash tile
      Digging up the old heating oil tank in the frontyard
      Fixing the AC system

    5. Worked
      Jumped on trampoline
      Watched an episode of Season 4 of The Walking Dead
      drank a lot of vodka
      Worked some more

    6. The water on the Gulf coast has been unusually clear this summer, probably because we’ve gotten less rain than usual, so I took my 8-year-old snorkeling at the jetties. He’s old enough now to swim on his own, even on the outside of the jetties, which is rougher. Had a great time and learned that spray-on sunscreen is not all it’s cracked up to be.

    7. Recovering from rugby match on Saturday, grilling and helping a lost bulldog that ended up in our yard.

    8. Playing nerdy board games with my kids, drinking, and drafting my fantasy football team. And cooking. But i was thinking about the working proletariat all day, I promise.

    9. Let’s see…I had my kids for the weekend but dropped them at their mom’s yesterday at 2 so they could go to a Labor Day party I wasn’t invited to, upon which I promptly went to the gym and then played golf.

    10. Pressed out 15 gallons of cider.

    11. I went out to see my father in New Mexico. Spent a lot of time driving around the mountains followed by drinking beer and hanging out on his patio in the nearly perfect weather they get out there. It was a good weekend.

    12. Worked on building a custom model of my local airport for X-Plane, since the weather here was not conducive to actual flying without an instrument rating. Also studied a bit for my instrument rating.

    13. fishing and camping with the family in Leadville.

    14. I had a lovely walk in the woods, then I drank some beer and made a paper towel roll holder, sawed up some firewood and ate some sausages.

    15. Made tzatziki for a family party at which I got into a big political argument with my prog lawyer daughter. After all the “Citizens United was terrible” and “America’s so racist” comments, she mentioned that “Everyone should pay the same tax rate…maybe 10%”. Now that she and her husband are making some real money they are learning some real life lessons. They are very bright, so it may take only another 10 years to come around, but I think they will end up somewhat libertarian, if still identifying as loyal Donkeys.

  32. The FBI is investigating the recent theft and distribution of nude photos from a bevy of female celebrities, including Jennifer Lawrence and Kirsten Dunst. Apple is looking into whether the hacker(s) obtained the photos from its cloud storage service, iCloud.

    Where might one find a complete list of all the nude women leaked? I ask for a friend…

    1. reddit.com/r/thefappening

      1. I found this posited explanation on there.

  33. Well, we all know the Feds have nothing but spare time on their hands lol.

    http://www.Crypt-Anon.tk

  34. SciFi channel movie?
    RadBoars!

    Radioactive wild boar roaming the forests of Germany.
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/new…..ny.html?fb

      1. RadioBoar vs. Sharktopus!

  35. I copypastaed this on another thread but maybe I can get ENB to roll with this if I post it here too:

    Food for thought: In 2013 105 officers died in the line of duty ? 105 too many, to be sure. http://www.odmp.org/search/year?year=2013 . The Centers for Disease control estimate that around 300 people die by accidentally drowning in bathtubs (over 40,000 accidental drownings from 1999 to 2010, averaging about 3,500 a year and a little over 9 percent of those occurring in the bathtub. http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db149.htm

    1. In 2013 105 officers died in the line of duty

      Most of which were car accidents.

      1. Well, to be fair gunfire (30) tops the list in single causes. But, yes, auto accidents lumped in with heart attacks (‘roids or Krispy Kreme – your guess) and other causes contributed more overall.

        1. Of those 30, how many were friendly fire? I bet at least a couple. When you get down to it, fewer than 30 cops out of the I think nearly one million in this country, die of hostile gun fire every year. That is a pretty low risk.

          1. beat me to it.

          2. Gunfire (Accidental): 2

            1. I wonder if that is accidental discharge as opposed to friendly fire. Regardless, we are left with 28. Not a whole hell of a lot in a country of 300+ million people and a million cops.

              1. That’s 2 accidents in addition to the other 30. Although, who knows how honestly those 30 were reported?

              2. It’s not even a rounding error.

          3. I’d like to see the k/d ratio for this profession.

            1. 420 noscope fite me irl

        2. well didn’t the Boston marathon aftermath result in a couple police deaths due to friendly fire? So thats like 7% right there.

          1. No deaths. Three cops came under fire by other cops. One nearly died from getting a bullet through one of his femoral arteries but ultimately made a full recovery. The other two, IIRC, escaped unscathed, although the car they were in was pretty badly ventilated.

            Fortunately for cops in MA, the other cops are such bad shots that the friendly fire incidents tend not to be too bad.

            1. But teh trainingz????

    2. 105 too many?

      1. While I’m okay with collective guilt up to a point, I don’t think anyone should be attacked just because they’re a part of any group – even the cops.

        1. I wonder how many of those cops were killed in self defense, being that they’re usually the aggressors.

          1. Probably several. Under my definition of acceptable self defense anyway.

          2. I wonder how many of those cops were killed in self defense, being that they’re usually the aggressors.

            Jesus, this is just ridiculous.

            Cops are always the aggressors in the traditional sense of the word, but that’s exactly what we deputize them to do. In theory they are supposed to use the aggression with more circumspection (continuum of force) than they do in practice (at least for the last 20 or so years), but law enforcement involves force.

        2. I’d agree with you if cops were held to the same standard of behavior as those they are ‘protecting’ and ‘serving’.

          But they aren’t.

          1. True but you get a little more sun when you’re sitting on the moral high ground 😉

    3. 9/11 related illness: 1
      Aircraft accident: 1
      Automobile accident: 25
      Boating accident: 1
      Drowned: 2
      Duty related illness: 1
      Electrocuted: 1
      Fall: 4
      Fire: 1
      Gunfire (Accidental): 2
      Heart attack: 10
      Motorcycle accident: 4
      Struck by vehicle: 8
      Training accident: 2
      Vehicle pursuit: 4

      So more than half were accidents or illnesses. Not surprised.

      1. Accidental gunfire. Hilarious. I thought they are so well trained?

      2. Nothing on the list about suicide?

        I know for a fact that cops sometimes kill themselves while on duty.

        Also, Automobile Accident = Vehicle Pursuit = Motorcycle accident = Struck by Vehicle = 43 deaths GT 30 by gunfire.

    4. In 2013 105 officers died in the line of duty ? 105 too many, to be sure.

      I wouldn’t be so sure.

  36. I was thinking about the whole “rape epidemic” thing this weekend. Back in the 1960s and 70s the feminist party line was that blue laws and repressing sex was bad because it deprived people of an outlet and caused them to do horrible things like rape. And the funny thing is that it is the one thing that, if you are to judge by the correlation, they might have gotten right. As pointed out above the number of forcible rapes in this country is significantly lower today than it was in 1970. I think it is reasonable to conclude the greater availability of porn and the rise of internet chat rooms and such probably contributed to that. Men who are unable to get sex partners have better outlets today and thus only really fucked up ones still commit rape. Also, thanks to the internet and virtual sex, it is possible that at least some of the kind of people who have these sorts of desires are able to manage them better because the internet gives them an outlet for them. Again, correlation is not causality but it is a reasonable hypothesis that the people who said repressing sex and porn and such causes worse harms were right with regards to rape.

    Yet, today, the feminists repudiate the one time they ever got something right and claim porn causes rape. It is like they want to be wrong about everything.

    1. I’d like more evidence on that. If 1970 is the base year, it’s not exactly an era of blue laws and repression. Porn was, in comparison to today, remarkably low-tech, but it was certainly there. The Sexual Revolution had well launched. And before declining in recent years, IIRC it first went up in the 70s, a decade of, let’s say, low repression.

      1. But what wasn’t there was home porn and the internet. Porn in 1970 was dirty magazines, which outside of Playboy were hard to get, and X rated movie theaters, which were often in dangerous neighborhoods and somewhere where a respectable person wouldn’t go.

        Clearly there has been a drop in forcible rape. If it is not the rise of the internet giving people a non destructive outlet for these desires, then what else caused it? I am open to other theories but I can’t think of any better ones than it being the internet.

        1. I am open to other theories but I can’t think of any better ones than it being the internet.

          Age demographics. Young men commit most rapes and when young men make a smaller percentage of the population, the percentage of rapes go down.

          1. That is good point and most certainly part of it. But the number of forcible rapes has gone down more than the number of young men. And also, the reporting rates are higher now. So that 1970s number is probably low since women were less likely to report back then.

            Clearly, there is more than one thing going on here and the change in demographics is part of it. But I think the rise of porn and the internet contributed too.

            1. Freadonomics said legal abortion, but that is just a subset of demographics.

              1. That book never considered the effects of wider reporting and a lot of other things. It is an interesting but ultimately full of half truths and dangerous generalizations.

                1. DNA testing does help. You’re more likely to get the actual person doing the crime. I say more likely as the police don’t always test because they “know” they got the right guy.

                  Also more likely to get a conviction with DNA.

    2. Re: John,

      Yet, today, the feminists repudiate the one time they ever got something right and claim porn causes rape.

      John, feminists have always claimed that porn causes rape. I’m sure that they also accused blue code laws of the same, plus the patriarchal society and such. But feminists have been consistent on their attack on porn and anything that smells of sexual exploitation. Feminists are cultural little red marxians and, because of this, are also profoundly puritanical in their perspective.

      1. Yes and no. They are puritans except when promoting porn and open sexuality was thought to help destroy the bourgeois family. Then they were all about it.

  37. Ban bathtubs!

    1. Nobody needs more than 7 gallons.

        1. Only if they are worn desert style.

          It is funny, there was a facebook meme running around last week asking people to list ten books that really affected them. Dune came up on nearly all of my male friends’ lists. And really, none of us could point to a particular philosophical point as the reason why it affected us. It really came down to aesthetics. You read that book and you are forever thinking of things like stillsuits and the Bulterian Jihad and the like.

          1. Dune is an amazingly good book. It’s like The Lord of the Rings but for science fiction.

            1. It really is. I am really not down with Herbert’s philosophy. Herbert was really a Luddite and very much a hippie dippie spiritualist. Lucas’ “the Force beats technology” is just a very crude version of Herbert’s philosophy. In contrast, I very much agree with Tolkien’s philosophy. He was anti-industrial but more anti-state than anything else. Yet, I still love Dune. I think that is because it is just so imaginative and the aesthetic of he book is so cool.

              1. Both Herbert and Tolkien had a healthy distrust of power and the people who seek it.

            2. now I have to clean up all this projectile-vomit.

            3. I’ll give it points on ‘imaginative fiction’ (particularly the ‘invent entire universe’ kind)…

              ..i then detract limitless points for the “Never really get to the fucking point”-factor.

              I mean, the guy was limited only by the glue that held paperback books in one piece. Is 900 pages for “Son of Children of Second Cousins of DUNE” not enough, really?

          2. So, you’re saying I should read it?

            1. Dune is one of my favorites. I read all six of the trilogy.

              1. High praise!

            2. Im not sure you can comment on H&R if you havent read Dune. Its in the by-laws.

              I stopped after God Emperor (Book 4). I wasnt interested in the universe anymore.

              1. Crap, can I remain a commenter contingent on reading the book by the end of the year?

                1. Im okay with it, as long as you promise to never read the prequels.

                  1. What Brian Herbert should’ve done is publish annotated notes like Christopher Tolkien did. Trying to make those notes into new novels was a tremendous mistake.

                    1. Yeah, I read the prequels. I was young and didn’t know any better. Although, they might actually work as “young adult” novels.

                      Of course, I read the real thing first.

                2. End of the week or you’ll fail the gom jabbar.

                  1. At some level reading the Hampersand is kinda gom jabbar-like.

                    1. Whats in the comments?

                      Pain.

              2. Does the David Lynch movie or 1/3 on one episode of the mini-series count?

                  1. I’m only doing the first book. If that’s not good enough I’ll just have to revel in my nerd heresy.

                    1. The first book is very good. I reread it every few years.

                    2. http://scifilists.sffjazz.com/…..rank1.html

                      Just because.

                      Its there because of book #1. I like 2 a lot, and 4, but they arent at the level of the original.

          3. I had a roommate who I could play the Dune Game with. One of us would read a passage, and the other would quote the next spoken line.

            He was better at it than I was, but not by much.

          4. Nine Princes of Amber is probably one of my favorite sci-fi books. Along with A Wrinkle in Time. I am not being sarcastic.

  38. A Bronx Man Tore His Own Head Off in Broad Daylight

    In a particularly gruesome story out of the Bronx, a Hunts Point man apparently decapitated himself in broad daylight today.

    According to the New York Daily News, an unidentified 51-year-old man parked his 2005 Honda CRV on the street on Monday around 9:35 am. He reportedly looped a chain around his neck, secured it to a pole, and got back into his car.

    Police told the newspaper that the man then stepped on the gas, decapitating himself. According to the Daily News, “The man’s head was left on the street by the pole after his vehicle hit a parked truck on the opposite side of the street.”

    Points for creativity. Trigger warning: Gawker.

    1. There can be only Zero!

    2. We had that happen here a few years ago. Guy did it in his driveway in full view of the neighborhood kids. Much counseling ensued.

    3. Nope, not a chance. If I ever decide to make that most permanent of decisions, it’ll be w/ something a little more instantaneous. You’d feel every bit of that decap plus about a few seconds.

  39. Police Chief’s Son Aims Gun at Detectives

    The suspect, identified as Christopher Fitzgerald, repeatedly “brake-checked” the detectives, who were wearing plain clothes and in an unmarked vehicle, according to court documents. The car, a white Nissan, then came to a complete stop and pulled over, reportedly nearly causing an accident, police said. Fitzgerald then opened a car door and pointed a Glock handgun loaded with 16 rounds at the detectives, according to court documents.

    1. The police response surprises me:

      The officers reportedly thought they were about to be shot and placed their vehicle in reverse to escape of the line of fire. They then called for backup, police said.

      Doesn’t this run contrary to their training? I thought the training/procedure in this situation was to shoot to kill?

      1. I thought that was the procedure for every situation.

      2. Re: thom,

        I thought the training/procedure in this situation was to shoot to kill?

        Standard SOP is to shoot to kill unarmed civies. Otherwise you call for backup and COPS.

      3. Officer safety.

      4. Its shoot to kill when you already have the drop on the susp- I mean ‘perp’ – and he makes the slightest twitch.

        When the suspect has the drop on you its time to piss yourself as you get the fuck outta Dodge.

  40. The FBI is investigating the recent theft and distribution of nude photos from a bevy of female celebrities,

    Most of the investigation will be concentrated in gathering and analyzing the evidence… carefully.

  41. I thought The Knick was worth watching. It’s a period piece hospital drama with Clive Owen as a cocaine-addicted chief surgeon in 1900 NYC. Typhoid, TB, blood, cadavers, uninsulated electricity, segregation, misogyny. What’s not to love?

    1. “What’s not to love?” — Graphic surgical scenes.

  42. I am surprised Reason hasn’t done more to cover the Rotherham scandal. It is a perfect storm of uncaring and unaccountable bureaucrats and the worst sorts of political correctness. And it is also a perfect example of the need for an armed populace. I have no doubt that if it were up to the cops and the government the very same thing could happen in the US. The difference is that unlike the UK, people in the US are armed and can defend themselves. Without doubt there are communities in this country who would love to get their rape on with the infidel but don’t do so because it would be a very good way to get yourself killed. In the disarmed UK, they had no such worries.

    1. I am surprised Reason hasn’t done more to cover the Rotherham scandal.

      And contribute to the scourge of Islamophobia?

      No way any self respecting Cosmo does that..

      1. You went there. It is a bit remarkable that Reason sees no need to comment on the UK government’s complete inability to provide even the most basic governmental function of protection from crime.

        This story has about every Libertarian angle there is; an unarmed populace unable to defend itself, an uncaring and corrupt one party socialist bureaucracy, outrageous and unaccountable police. The only thing missing is pot and a few dead dogs and it would be the perfect Reason story.

        Yet, Reason as far as I have seen, hasn’t touched it. And don’t tell me it is because it is in the UK. Reason covers UK stories all of the time. They covered the hell out of the tabloid phone hacking scandal.

        Sometimes they really do live down to your expectations.

        1. Well but there aren’t any Mexicans.

        2. Why do I suspect that this would have gone very differently if the rape gangs had been white and the victims Paki Muslims?

          1. I suspect REason would find it more interesting.

      2. It is the “wrong side” of the immigration issue.

        1. There is that. But is Reason so insecure about its position on immigration will ignore all of the other points to be made because the story implies that maybe not every immigrant is a hard working future Libertarian voter just looking for a break?

          1. But is Reason so insecure about its position on immigration will ignore all of the other points to be made because the story implies that maybe not every immigrant is a hard working future Libertarian voter just looking for a break?

            Uh, yes?

            It shines a light on immigration policy as a social engineering tool. The authorities in Rotherham and enablers in UK government/society are all fiercely dedicated to “anti-racism”. Reason isn’t going to touch the flipside of that dichotomy. Prog outreach and all that.

            1. I was being a bit sarcastic. And of course that is the reason. And they should be mercilessly called on it the next time they put up one of Dalmia’s, only racists object to open borders pieces.

              1. And they should be mercilessly called on it the next time they put up one of Dalmia’s, only racists object to open borders pieces.

                Which is due any second.

        2. Let’s not overlook that the local authorities were unwilling to go after the local Paki community because it is a very reliable source of bloc votes for the local authorities.

          But, no, mass unassimilated immigration is an unalloyed good! Nothing bad could ever come of it.

      3. The Rotherham scandal benefits UKIP. Feeney is a Lib-Dem.

      4. The Rotherham scandal benefits UKIP. Feeney is a Lib-Dem.

  43. Chicago is spending millions to line streets where children walk to school with random adults.

    Talk about expensive human shields. Wouldn’t it be cheaper to just bring a few prisoners from the local Stalag?

    A voluntary moratorium on porn production has ended, after a test showing an adult-film actor to have HIV was revealed as a false positive.

    Whew! Dodged a bullet there…

    1. Maybe if Chicago would let people arm themselves and perhaps stop considering any male who takes any interest in a child not his own and sometimes even when it is his own a potential child molester, things might get a bit safer? I mean you create a disarmed and disconnected populace full of fatherless young men with few economic prospects, what could possibly go wrong?

      1. Re: John,

        I mean you create a disarmed and disconnected populace full of fatherless young men with few economic prospects, what could possibly go wrong?

        The best part is, a cadre of disenfranchised youths is not something exclusive of Chicago, yet as the news is spun to make it seem like the city is doing something to “protect the childrunz!”, in the Wild Wild West of concealed-carry cities, we don’t hear about children being escorted by yellow-vested bullet-stoppers.

        1. Last I looked there were some neighborhoods in Dallas and Houston where you wouldn’t want to welch on a pool bet, yet somehow they don’t seem to have the problems Chicago does.

        2. Since concealed carry was permitted in Chicago in early 2014 the number of murders has declined to the lowest in 50 years.

          1964: 390
          1965: 396
          1966: 512
          1967: 548
          1968: 645
          1969: 715
          1970: 810
          1971: 824
          1972: 711
          1973: 862
          1974: 970
          1975: 818
          1976: 814
          1977: 823
          1978: 787
          1979: 856
          1980: 863
          1981: 877
          1982: 668
          1983: 729
          1984: 741
          1985: 666
          1986: 744
          1987: 691
          1988: 660
          1989: 742
          1990: 851
          1991: 927
          1992: 943
          1993: 855
          1994: 931
          1995: 828
          1996: 796
          1997: 761
          1998: 704
          1999: 643
          2000: 633
          2001: 667
          2002: 656
          2003: 601
          2004: 453
          2005: 451
          2006: 471
          2007: 448
          2008: 513
          2009: 459
          2010: 439
          2011: 435
          2012: 516
          2013: 415

          Since Illinois started granting concealed carry permits this year, the number of robberies that have led to arrests in Chicago has declined 20 percent from last year, according to police department statistics. Reports of burglary and motor vehicle theft are down 20 percent and 26 percent, respectively. In the first quarter, the city’s homicide rate was at a 56-year low.

  44. I thought the training/procedure in this situation was to shoot to kill?

    Not when the “suspect” is actually dangerous.

    OFFICER SAFETY! requires them to seek a safe hiding place until they can move in with overwhelming force.

    1. Chicken considered a pecking threat.

      1. IT WAS COMING RIGHT AT HIM! PIT-CHICKEN!

      2. Chickens are fucking mean. I would have decapitated it had it pecked at me. Though it doesn’t sound like that is what happened.

    2. “I’m sorry it had to happen that way,” said Berger, adding that he didn’t intend to leave the severed chicken head in the yard to send a message to the homeowners. Berger said he thought the head was still attached to the chicken when he carried the carcass away.

    3. “The chicken was like a puppy dog to my son,” said Turnbull. “You wouldn’t do that to a puppy.”

      You wouldn’t, but a cop would.

  45. . Apple is looking into whether the hacker(s) obtained the photos from its cloud storage service, iCloud.

    When the data isn’t stored on a hard drive in your possession, you don’t own it.

    1. No Paul, you own it. You just don’t control it. And that is the problem. It is still my photo. If Apple had sold these pictures, Apple would be facing some huge liability over it. So Apple did not own the photos. Apple did, however, control them.

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