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A.M. Links: Obama Promises "Relentless" Pursuit of Islamic State, Germany Setting Aside "Taboos," At Least 65 People Mentioned as Possible 2016 Presidential Candidates

Ed Krayewski | 8.21.2014 9:00 AM

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  • 65 potential presidential candidates
    Reason

    President Obama says the United States will be "relentless" in its pursuit of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant (ISIL), while FBI Director James Comey called ISIL a bunch of "savages" in response to the posting of a video showing the beheading of U.S. photojournalist James Foley, who the U.S. apparently tried unsuccessfully to rescue along with other American hostages in Syria  several months ago. Meanwhile Germany announced it would arm Kurdish troops and "set aside taboos" in regards to military operations in Iraq.

  • A grand jury has been convened to investigate the shooting of Michael Brown by Officer Darren Wilson last Saturday.
  • Bank of America is expected to settle with the Department of Justice for $16.65 billion over allegations of misleading investors about mortgage securities.
  • There are at least 65 people who have been mentioned as possible 2016 presidential candidates.
  • Israel's prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, says the military campaign in Gaza is not over. An earlier Israeli air strike may have unsuccessfully targeted Hamas' top military commander in the strip.
  • The television business in Somalia is booming as less people may want to be venturing much outside.

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NEXT: The Libertarian Moment in Ferguson: Birth of New Politics?

Ed Krayewski is a former associate editor at Reason.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    A grand jury has been convened to investigate the shooting of Michael Brown by Officer Darren Wilson last Saturday.

    Good luck with all of that.

    1. waffles   11 years ago

      Hello.

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        Hey!

        Hello.

        “The television business in Somalia is booming as less people may want to be venturing much outside”

        See? Libbamatarianism works!

        1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

          “Get some more sand bags for that wall and fiddle with the rabbit ears while you’re up, will ya?”

        2. The Last American Hero   11 years ago

          I heard it was because they were running a Black Hawk Down Marathon on TNT this weekend.

        3. Whahappan?   11 years ago

          How can they have TV with no FCC? I’m calling bullshit.

  2. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    I got a Reason mag subscription notice from United Publishers Services (customerservice@publisherspayment.com). This is still a scam, right? Can I complain to them about the Reason server squirelz?

    1. RBS   11 years ago

      Still a scam. I get like 3 a year.

    2. Bobarian (dinosaur hunter)   11 years ago

      Can I complain to them about the Reason server squirelz?

      It would probably be just as effective.

  3. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    The television business in Somalia is booming as less people may want to be venturing much outside.

    Outside will pick up once someone lays down some roads.

    1. trshmnster the terrible   11 years ago

      Dammit

      1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

        OBVIOUS JOKES ARE OBVIOUS.

  4. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    Isn’t the stuff in bold a core ‘progressive’ belief?

    Idiocracy Is a Cruel Movie And You Should Be Ashamed For Liking It
    …The origin story for Idiocracy’s future world of half-wits is that uneducated people in the early 2000s are having kids and smart people don’t reproduce enough. It’s clear from the film that the intelligent people are wealthy, while the uneducated people are poor. So we’re starting from a position of believing that wealthy people are inherently more intelligent and, by extension, deserve their wealth. This link between intelligence and wealth is perhaps the most dangerous idea of the film and pretty quickly slips into advocating for some form of soft eugenics to build a better world.

    If only we could get rid of the uneducated Americans (read: redneck poors) and we’ll have the opportunity to live in a utopian world filled with smart and civilized people. Of course, everyone here in 2014 making a reference to Idiocracy as a pseudo-documentary identifies with the soon-to-be-extinct intelligent class. They believe it’s the “others” ? the dumb, impoverished people ? that are ruining America with their binging on crap TV and crap internet and crap food….

    1. waffles   11 years ago

      Life is cruel. The world doesn’t give a shit about my sensibilities. Facts don’t care about political correctness. And idiocracy is a satire that illuminates some uncomfortable demographic shift that may very well be happening. By this author’s standard liking Brave New World makes you a double monster.

    2. Idle Hands   11 years ago

      So we’re starting from a position of believing that wealthy people are inherently more intelligent and, by extension, deserve their wealth.

      Are we really that far gone?

      1. Free Society   11 years ago

        Funny how in the age of free information, the state sponsored intellectuals are goose stepping us all towards their hellish idea of paradise.

    3. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

      This is interesting because I remember when the film came out that some people thought it intentionally was caricaturing ‘red state culture.’

    4. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Is Mike Novak the new Sadbeard around here?

      From comments:

      “I dunno.. don’t you think if more intelligent people were breeding, there’d be more livable wages, paid leaves, and proper funding for scientific research? It certainly wouldn’t hurt in trying to live up to the ideals and promises you speak of..”

      Ah. Smarter = more livable wages.

      “Even if the population of intelligent people was greater it wouldn’t mean that the world would be a better place. An intelligent person isn’t more inclined to be altruistic. There are plenty of intelligent people who are petty and biased little turds out to get what they want at the expense of others.”

      Intelligent people can’t be altruistic?

      Wow. What a cocksucking idiot – even if you believe altruism is possible.

      These two dolts are proving the movie right. The don’t drink enough Brawn.

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        y

        1. Xeones   11 years ago

          It’s got electrolytes! It’s what plants crave.

        2. Juice   11 years ago

          do

    5. Zeb   11 years ago

      I don’t think that very many people actually believe that rich people are “inherently more intelligent”. Intelligent people are more likely to become rich for various reasons, but that’s different. Does the author really believe that intelligence has no value?

    6. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      You think Einstein walked around thinkin’ everyone was a bunch of dumb shits?

  5. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Daisy Lowe spices up the ice bucket challenge as she goes braless in a white T-shirt… all in the name of charity of course

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..ourse.html
    I think I could get into this ice bucket challenge if more women did it braless in white T shirts.

    1. NebulousFocus   11 years ago

      IOW, please end this shit.

      1. hamilton   11 years ago

        Actually, I would say it just got interesting.

    2. boomslang4   11 years ago

      But please, enough with the high waisted/granny patnies look already.

    3. some guy   11 years ago

      The ice bucket challenge can end now because the Foo Fighers already won it.

    4. Juice   11 years ago

      Looking at that article it looks like this is a way for C and D list celebrities to get their name and face out there that one extra time. Going down the list: who? who? who? jeez him? who? oh it’s her. who?

  6. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

    Japan restaurant serves up bullfrog that has been stabbed, beheaded and skinned alive but still twitches on the plate – with a slice of lemon

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..z3B1zdasp1

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      Better than “dancing shrimp”!

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        That’s no way to speak of Mickey Rooney!

    2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      There’s no sugar coating it, the Japanese have a wickedly fucked up sense of humor.

  7. trshmnster the terrible   11 years ago

    The television business in Somalia is booming as less people may want to be venturing much outside.

    It’s because there are no roads.

  8. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    The Lord of the Ring: Thai acrobat makes a living going round in circles with street performances that will send you into a spin

    Performer Isaac Hou has become famous in Taiwan for his wheel routine
    Video of his act has been described as both ‘awesome’ and sickening
    A GoPro camera was used to give multiple perspectives of the act

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-spin.html
    I’m dizzy.

  9. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    A youthful Kate Beckinsale, 41, wows as she bares her toned midriff in transparent crop top while dining out in Beverly Hills

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..Hills.html
    Dang I lust her so bad.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      She screams high maintenance.

      1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

        Aren’t they all?

  10. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    There are at least 65 people who have been mentioned as possible 2016 presidential candidates.

    Divide 4 years by 65 and give them all a shot in turn.

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      😎 “President for a day!”

  11. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    There’s always a bigger fish…Fisherman left shocked after a giant grouper eats the shark they had just caught WHOLE
    Fisherman floored when mammoth grouper fish gulps down a four-foot-long shark
    ‘Wooooooooo! Oh my god! Oh my god!’
    The huge fish took off with the shark – and the fisherman’s hook!

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..WHOLE.html
    This one is worth a click.

    1. Brett L   11 years ago

      My wife is never going back in the Gulf.

      1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

        Is that a euphemism?

        1. Brett L   11 years ago

          No. She already fears sharks in shallow water. Like, 2 feet of water. Anything that eats a “large” shark must be dangerous.

          1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

            I thought you just had a tiny wife who might be swallowed whole by a grouper.

          2. Jordan   11 years ago

            My wife’s not really afraid of the wildlife, unless she knows that it’s actually there. She’s just afraid of the water, since she can’t swim well. I have managed to coax her into snorkeling though.

            1. Ted S.   11 years ago

              Teach her to swim better.

              1. Jordan   11 years ago

                I have offered many times, but she’s content being a boring landlubber.

      2. Jordan   11 years ago

        Groupers are harmless. I love encountering them on dives.

        1. waffles   11 years ago

          unless they can swallow you in one bite.

        2. Bobarian (dinosaur hunter)   11 years ago

          Groupers are generally harmless, but there are some cases of people getting bit…most incidents seem to involve spearfishing or the presence of smaller fish.

    2. robc   11 years ago

      Not 100% on the grouper, but I figure they categorize with Tuna. Grouper and Shark arent from the same part of the family tree. Tuna/Grouper are more closely related to Mammals than they are to sharks.

      Basically, with cladistics, the whole concept of “fish” goes away. There are at least 3 unrelated (until you get way, way back) branches that are all considered “fish”.

      Genetic research is entirely undermining the old nomenclature.

    3. Suthenboy   11 years ago

      I have had those groupers swim up to me and check me out while diving. It is especially impressive when the grouper is many times larger than you are.

      Problems only arise if you have anything that the grouper considers food, like fish. If you have it, he is going to get it, and there isn’t a goddamned thing you can do about it.

      1. Jordan   11 years ago

        Yeah, I don’t partake in spearfishing or anything like that. I’m just there to look, not touch. I’ve heard some entertaining stories about people being circled by sharks while clutching a bag of lionfish during their safety stop.

    4. Rev-Match   11 years ago

      There’s always a bigger fish…

      I’ve seen interesting things while fishing, but never anything like that. That was awesome.

  12. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

    Saving the planet, one appliance at a time

    Buy a powerful vacuum cleaner before they are BANNED: New EU rules ‘will outlaw best models from next month because they’re not eco-friendly’

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      The ones that don’t work well will take more energy because you have to use them longer. It’s the “low-flow” toilets all over again.

      1. Jerryskids   11 years ago

        Ha! My niece just recently bought one of the new “higher efficiency” washing machines and noted that it comes with an “extra rinse” cycle. The first few times she used it without the extra rinse and a full load of clothes, she figured out the clothes weren’t getting as clean. So now she does smaller but more numerous loads and uses the extra rinse cycle. I’m guessing the extra cost of the “higher effiency” machine plus the lowered efficiency of actually using it is some sort of stupidity squared.

        1. Bobarian (dinosaur hunter)   11 years ago

          I don’t know, a lot of the old washers were so wasteful with water that you’d have to wash everything 3 times to get the same water usage.

          Also, the one we recently bought spins the clothes so fast that they come out almost dry (some synthetics like lycra come out dry enough to wear), which saves alot of dryer time.

          Dryer time and hot water usage are your biggest energy hogs.

      2. Zeb   11 years ago

        I hate low flow plumbing fixture requirements (what good is a kitchen faucet that only has 2.5 GPM?), but I must say that if you don’t buy the cheapest possible ones, the low flow toilets are pretty good in my experience. Unless you have some intestinal problems, it’s pretty rare to have to flush twice.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

          The Toto Eco-Drake is probably the best toilet I’ve ever had the privilege of defiling. It makes my old “high-flow” units look weak and pathetic by comparison.

          1. Jerryskids   11 years ago

            The “low-flow” part is often just in the flapper – for $10 or so you can get a “Dial-a-Flush” adjustable flapper and set it to max.

            1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

              The Eco-Drake actually jets your turds into suspension before sucking them down with a mighty gulp. Works like a charm.

    2. Atanarjuat   11 years ago

      That is the most asinine, counterproductive policy I’ve heard about in a while. Everyone is already saying it won’t save energy so it must either A) enrich some crony or B) appeal to neoLuddites.

      Vacuums must be a tiny percentage of overall energy use. Everything that uses more energy (washer, dryer, hot water heater, etc.) is now ripe for attack.

      Are you sure that isn’t the British version of the Onion?

      1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

        Are you sure that isn’t the British version of the Onion?

        Yes, The Onion has better spelling.

        Here’s a slightly more grown-up source

      2. Zeb   11 years ago

        Europe loves stupid, counterproductive regulations. Their RoHS regulations (requiring lead free electronics, among other things) are another good example.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

          I still remember the first time I saw the RoHS compliance requirements when I was designing cell station equipment. My first thought was “oh this is going to suck”.

          1. Zeb   11 years ago

            We had a guy from our soldering supplies vendor come in to give us a presentation on it. He basically told us to shorten our warranties and lower our inspection standards. And get ready to replace a lot more soldering tips and related equipment.

            1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

              I can see applying RoHS to short life equipment like consumer electronics where the product lifetime is limited and repairability is nil. But on commercial equipment it is completely retarded.

              1. Zeb   11 years ago

                The stuff we make tends to live in research labs for many years, so it was not good.
                But yeah, for stuff that gets tossed in a few years anyway it’s not a completely terrible idea.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      Just buy a commercial model.

      1. some guy   11 years ago

        Before long you will need a permit to do that.

  13. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    The ultimate white privilege: Darren Wilson and being “afraid for your life”

    A white person can get away with a lot if they claim that they were scared of a person of color. White people and law enforcement are allowed to fear for their lives ? even if that so-called fear is based on racist perceptions about black and brown criminality or, more often, nothing at all.

    A grand jury was seated on Wednesday to consider the circumstances surrounding the killing of Michael Brown, the unarmed black teenager who was shot six times by Darren Wilson, a white cop. If the case eventually goes to court, no doubt one of the questions that will be put before the jury is whether Wilson could have reasonably feared for his life during his confrontation with Brown. While witnesses to the shooting have indicated that Brown had his hands up in surrender when he was fatally shot, others ? mostly other cops ? have suggested that Brown charged at Wilson and that the “genesis of [the shooting] was a physical confrontation.”

    1. gaijin   11 years ago

      A white person can get away with a lot if they claim that they were scared of a person of color. White people and law enforcement are allowed…

      Law enforcement = white?

      1. The Last American Hero   11 years ago

        It does in Ferguson.

        1. gaijin   11 years ago

          true…I was just thinking that the article was conflating two ideas: white privilege and ‘leo’ privilege.

          1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

            I don’t know if they fags or what
            Search a nigga down and grabbin his nuts
            And on the other hand, without a gun they can’t get none
            But don’t let it be a black and a white one
            Cuz they slam ya down to the street top
            Black police showin out for the white cop

    2. Zeb   11 years ago

      Yeah, just like that guy who shot that black girl on his porch…

      This is just getting retarded. I think a hard examination of racial bias and racism in policing is certainly warranted, but everything is not always about race.

      1. John   11 years ago

        This is why nothing good is going to come of Ferguson. The Progs are going to co-opt it into just another race conflict. When that happens, white people will defensively take the cop’s side and not a damn thing will change.

        The progs really don’t want to change anything beyond getting the cops to treat white people like they allege cops treat blacks now.

        1. Zeb   11 years ago

          It is not encouraging when the news keeps saying that the protests are primarily about race issues rather than about police use of force. There is certainly a racial aspect to the poor relationship between police and certain communities, but if that becomes the whole message, I fear it will all turn out to be useless or worse.

          1. John   11 years ago

            Making it about race issues implies that reforming the police won’t help since race issues imply a lot more than cops. Also, it makes it look to the average white person like we damn well better arm the cops to keep these people out of my neighborhood. Thank you douche bag media

  14. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Bank of America is expected to settle with the Department of Justice for $16.65 billion over allegations of misleading investors about mortgage securities.

    Who gets the money?

    1. Bee Tagger   11 years ago

      [redacted]

    2. db   11 years ago

      It’s not who gets the money, but what they intend to do with it. See, “the people” get the money, because it goes into some government fund. Then, it goes to all sorts of well-intentioned things that involve lots of administrative costs, consultant fees, and conference junkets.

      1. gaijin   11 years ago

        See, “the people” get the money, because it goes into some government fund.

        It’s not called the ‘US’ Government for nothing!

        1. Ted S.   11 years ago

          “Marge, it’s ‘uterus‘, not ‘uteryou‘.”

      2. Restoras   11 years ago

        And those bullshit ‘training’ courses that aren’t training at all, but are instead a CYA for the government and the banks, but someone got paid a crap ton to create and administer.

    3. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

      The Great Mortgage Scam was a product of the free market. Countrywide and 1000s of other originators got rich selling shitty liar NINJA loans to private investors like Lehman and Bear Stearns.

      (but markets are still the most efficient way to run an economy)

      1. some guy   11 years ago

        Yeah, the Feds easy money policy and all the federal programs to subsidize home-building and home-buying had nothing to do with people buying more house than they could afford. Also, the implicit guarantee of system-wide bailouts was irrelevant.

        1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

          Fail.

          Low interest rates do not equal easy credit policy.

          See 2009- 2014 for example. Credit is tight as hell today while rates are record lows.

          1. some guy   11 years ago

            Low rates equal cheaper credit for those who can get it. Which let’s them buy more house and then sinks them when the rate adjusts upwards. As always the causes of the problem are more complex than you indicate.

            1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

              The market created option ARM’s and negative am and liar loans by the millions in 2002-07.

              TARP was a response to the lack of adequate risk management.

              Markets are the best of systems but are not infallible.

              1. CampingInYourPark   11 years ago

                “The market created…”
                “Markets are the best of systems…”

                A market isn’t a system and whatever alternative you think exists simply boils down to theft.

                1. Bobarian (dinosaur hunter)   11 years ago

                  It’s a sock, stop arguing with it!

          2. WTF   11 years ago

            Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I’m going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!

      2. Mike M.   11 years ago

        Again Dave, it’s very unfortunate that you’re mentally ill. But it’s wrong of you to take it out on us because Matt Welch properly directed you to a work environment where you belong.

        Keep listening to your doctors, take your medications on the proper schedule, and give us a break.

      3. OldMexican   11 years ago

        Re: Peter Caca,

        The Great Mortgage Scam was a product of the free market.

        I thought every was hunky dory. Why, Barney Frank told me so.

    4. some guy   11 years ago

      It probably goes to a fund to cover systemic insurance or to pay incompetent people’s mortgages or something like that. Wherever it goes it will only make matters worse.

  15. Bee Tagger   11 years ago

    There are at least 65 people who have been mentioned as possible 2016 presidential candidates.

    We should have a rule that no more than 34 be mentioned.

    1. some guy   11 years ago

      65 is just about right for a NCAA-style tournament. So which two unlucky candidates get the play-in game?

      1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

        Green Party vs Constitution Party play in game!

        1. Bobarian (dinosaur hunter)   11 years ago

          A Hillary vs Santorum would be nice; getting either off of ballots early would be a “rising tide that raises all ships”.

  16. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Got a couple reach-arounds here. Well, maybe. “may face serious charges” may mean nothing, and “suspended indefinitely” may mean indefinite paid vacation.

    Reach-around #1:

    California Highway Patrol says an officer may face serious charges after being caught on camera beating a middle-aged woman on the side of a freeway

    Officer Daniel Andrew, who was put on a desk assignment after the incident, was removed from duty and put on paid administrative leave
    Andrew is caught on camera beating Marlene Pinnock, 51, on the side of a Los Angeles freeway
    ‘I felt like he was trying to kill me, beat me to death,’ said Pinnock

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..arges.html

    1. WTF   11 years ago

      Just remember that “may” is the equivalent of “may or may not”.

      1. Zeb   11 years ago

        Well, if you are only capable of thinking in terms of binary truth values, it is.

        1. WTF   11 years ago

          Okay, slick Willie. Now tell about all the different meanings of what “is” is.

          1. Zeb   11 years ago

            Just pointing out that language does contain nuance beyond the simple logic interpretation. “May” suggests a higher likelihood than “may or may not”.

  17. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Reach-around #2:

    Police officer who pointed rifle at Ferguson protester and warned he would ‘f****** kill you’ is suspended indefinitely

    An unnamed police officer has been relieved of duty after he was caught on camera pointing an assault rifle at a Ferguson protester on Tuesday
    Footage posted on YouTube shows him pointing a semi-automatic assault rifle and shouting: ‘I will f****** kill you’
    Police say a county sergeant took immediate action, telling the officer to lower the weapon and escorted him from the area
    The officer was suspended indefinitely on Wednesday afternoon

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..uTube.html

    1. Matrix   11 years ago

      But not in jail? If you or I did the same thing, we’d be behind bars right now.

    2. WTF   11 years ago

      I couldn’t tell from the article, but I wonder if it is the usual paid vacation.

    3. Adam.   11 years ago

      “semi-automatic rifle”? I doubt it, it was probably at least burst if not full auto. The kings men need higher grade arms than the peasants

  18. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    ‘Small Handful’ of Americans Believed to Be Fighting With ISIS in Iraq

    U.S. intelligence, law enforcement and military officials have for months declined to discuss the possibility that Americans had joined the Islamic extremist group blamed for beheading 40-year-old New Hampshire journalist James Foley as well as atrocities against Iraqis. But they now acknowledge it is likely that one or more Americans ? but no more than a “small handful” — have joined the fray.

  19. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Aging Americans Boost Share of Population Who Receive Government Benefits

    Nearly half of Americans, 49.5%, lived in a household where at least one person was receiving some type of government benefit in the fourth quarter of 2012, according to Census Department data. That number ticked up slightly from 49.2% at the end of 2011.

    The share of Americans receiving government benefits has risen steadily during the recession and sluggish recovery. The types of benefits run the gamut, from Social Security to unemployment compensation to food stamps.

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Not 47%?

      1. Bee Tagger   11 years ago

        Stop it! If you say it, the posts will come.

        1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

          +8%

          1. Ted S.   11 years ago

            Damn you! 😉

            1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

              It’s all about timing ?8%

        2. Ted S.   11 years ago

          Not 8%?

          1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

            Speaking of which, where has he been?

            1. gaijin   11 years ago

              Speaking of which, where has he been?

              It is breeding season on many hog farms

              1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

                I larfed.

            2. WTF   11 years ago

              Now look what you’ve done, you’ve summoned it.

    2. some guy   11 years ago

      Does this include all government “workers”?

  20. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    President Obama says the United States will be “relentless” in its pursuit of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant (ISIL)…

    Now, watch this drive.

    1. Jerryskids   11 years ago

      You could have just stopped with the headline:

      Obama Promises

  21. RBS   11 years ago

    while FBI Director James Comey called ISIL a bunch of “savages” in response to the posting of a video showing the beheading of U.S. photojournalist James Foley

    They aren’t?

    1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      It’s an insult to savages.

    2. Zeb   11 years ago

      Depends on what you mean by savages. They are certainly horrible, brutal, evil people. But that sort of thing has been a big part of a lot of civilization.

    3. gaijin   11 years ago

      at least he didn;t call them animals

  22. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Police: Man drives stolen electric shopping cart to meet probation officer, gets arrested

    Court Documents say Michael Johnson, 18, arrived to meet with his probation officer on Monday at the Metropolitan Courthouse on an electric shopping cart from Walmart.

    The probation officer asked Johnson where he got the cart, to which Johnson said he “took it from the Walmart on San Mateo and Zuni,” the documents say.

    Johnson was arrested and charged with larceny and receiving stolen property. He violated his probation when he was arrested and is being held on a $500 bond.

    1. Libertarian   11 years ago

      And yet I’m to be considered an elitist for thinking that intelligence is a factor in economic success?

      1. waffles   11 years ago

        nice

  23. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Meanwhile Germany announced it would arm Kurdish troops and “set aside taboos” in regards to military operations in Iraq.

    They’ll be armed with incest porn?

    1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

      You know who else “set aside taboos” in regards to military operations?

      1. Jerryskids   11 years ago

        Damn, I thought they said “tattoos”.

      2. tarran   11 years ago

        Kali the pigeon?

      3. Libertarian   11 years ago

        Truman?

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      Scheisseporn would be more effective.

      Germans are a weird bunch

  24. Idle Hands   11 years ago

    Only the retards in this administration would think that leaking a failed op would garner them positive pr. As Sean Connery once said “Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.”

    1. John   11 years ago

      You have remember they are faculty lounge and media Progs. They really believe “we meant well” and “we tried our best” counts for something in the real world.

    2. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

      You know who else had a failed special-op mission?

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        Jimmy Carter?

        1. Libertarian   11 years ago

          Fish, meet barrel.

          1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

            Rabbit, meet President

      2. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

        This woman?

  25. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Michigan church gives away circus animal manure

    A traveling circus with more than 30 animals left the manure when it finished performing in the area on Aug. 17. The Oklahoma-based Kelly Miller Circus performed two shows for about 700 people.

    The church secretary says St. Peter offered up the manure to the public because renting a trash bin would have been too expensive.

    The secretary says there was so much interest from residents that the staff will likely make the exotic fertilizer available again if the circus returns next year.

    1. The Last American Hero   11 years ago

      Around here, there is a waiting list to get Zoo Doo for your garden. No joke.

    2. Libertarian   11 years ago

      They tried to give away clown poop but it smelled funny.

      1. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

        Nightmares, the tears of children, and rubber noses.

  26. Rich   11 years ago

    There are at least 65 people who have been mentioned as possible 2016 presidential candidates.

    How about we treat just the presidential race like jury service?

  27. Jordan   11 years ago

    Here’s a searchable database of military equipment provided to local governments. You can search by state and county.

    I see that my county received a tent apparently valued at $16,932.35. So, I guess that’s what the military paid for it originally. Government efficiency at work. By the way, this is apparently sourced from a NYT FOIA request.

    1. Restoras   11 years ago

      NY WESTCHESTER No Item Name Provided 1 Each $3,395.00 4/22/2013
      NY WESTCHESTER No Item Name Provided 1 Each $3,395.00 4/29/2013
      NY WESTCHESTER No Item Name Provided 1 Each $1,182.39 2/15/2013
      NY WESTCHESTER RIFLE,5.56 MILLIMETER 1 Each $499.00 4/4/2013
      NY WESTCHESTER RIFLE,5.56 MILLIMETER 1 Each $499.00 4/4/2013
      NY WESTCHESTER RIFLE,5.56 MILLIMETER 1 Each $499.00 4/4/2013
      NY WESTCHESTER RIFLE,5.56 MILLIMETER 1 Each $499.00 4/4/2013
      NY WESTCHESTER RIFLE,5.56 MILLIMETER 1 Each $499.00 4/4/2013
      NY WESTCHESTER TRUCK TRACTOR 1 EA $138,870.00
      NY WESTCHESTER TRUCK,CARGO 1 Each $104,626.00 3/4/2013
      NY WESTCHESTER TRUCK,CARGO 1 Each $176,428.00 3/4/2013
      NY WESTCHESTER TRUCK,UTILITY 1 Each $172,193.00 3/14/2013

      No Item Name Provided – could be anything, I suppose…

      What kind of utility truck could cost $170k?

      1. John   11 years ago

        Or what the hell kind of vehicle of any kind costs $3.3 million? They must have a couple of MPRAPS

        1. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

          “Check out our fleet of vintage Ferraris.”

          1. John   11 years ago

            We bought a new 275 GTB with a Homeland Security grant.

      2. gaijin   11 years ago

        Sweet! I live in a county with a $600K Backscatter Xray van!

        Drive-by irradiation for the win

      3. some guy   11 years ago

        Look up Prince Georges Co., MD. Glad I don’t live there…

    2. Andrew S.   11 years ago

      So, I’m glad I don’t live or work in Miami anymore. Checked my current count (Broward, aka Fort Lauderdale), which received four trucks. Checked Miami… lets see. A helicopter, a couple of grenade launchers(!), four MRAPs, several dozen rifles…

      1. Libertarian   11 years ago

        As this military equipment gets broadcast all over the country, to hundreds if not thousands of locations, has anyone thought ahead to what will happen when grenade launchers are stolen from the Keystone Kops? Or, for some unknown reason, don’t show up on next year’s inventory list?

        1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

          Well, then, obviously that will be the reason that the cops need more, stronger equipment! I’m waiting for ICBMs to start appearing on these lists.

      2. Brett L   11 years ago

        Say hello to my little frien’

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      ooooooooooohhhhh, riot shotguns….

      and a treadmill

    4. SRVolunteer   11 years ago

      Every county I’ve ever lived in apparently has an Mine Resistant Vehicle now.

  28. Idle Hands   11 years ago

    “We’re not rich rich.” I can’t wait for 2016, the levels of derp that is going to ensue is going to be historic.

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Bill stole those cigars from a convenience store in Ferguson, MO.

    2. Idle Hands   11 years ago

      Bill Clinton enjoys a Gurkha cigar, “the Rolls Royce of the cigar industry.” He “loves the Gurkhas,” Gurkha chief executive officer Kaizad Hansotia, maker of the HMR cigar, which stands for His Majesty’s Reserve. It is, according to Hansotia, “the world’s most expensive cigar.”

      One box is $25,000 — and the price will rise next year to $30,000. “The cigars are close to $1,000 each,” says the cigar boss to Bloomberg.

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        “the world’s most expensive cigar.”

        Oh, I’ll bet the Monica cigar was more expensive.

        1. The DerpRider   11 years ago

          Costlier, perhaps.

  29. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

    WE ARE THE 99%!

    Study reveals spiders are fatter and more fertile in wealthy suburbs

    1. Idle Hands   11 years ago

      Probably because all the pussies that are scared to kill them in the suburbs.

      1. Jordan   11 years ago

        I see a spider in my place every once in a while, but I leave them alone since they kill real pests like roaches.

        1. RBS   11 years ago

          This. I have some really cool ones out in my garden right now.

          1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

            Cryospiders? Awesome!

          2. trshmnster the terrible   11 years ago

            People around here get zipper spiders in their garden. The spiders end up about the size of your palm , but they are bug killing machines! They keep the baddies away from the vegetables.

      2. Warty   11 years ago

        Why would you kill a spider? They kill the things you want to be killed.

        1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

          I tell that to my wife, and she has already panic-smashed it.

          1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

            The spiders in this study were golden orb weaving spiders. At worst they give you nausea and dizziness, which for an Australian spider is just a love tap. Also their webs are shimmery gold. Could she kill even this?

            1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

              She calls the most innocuous garden spider a “tarantula”. That lovely golden web spinning creature would be a splat on the floor or stuck to a shoe.

        2. some guy   11 years ago

          I make exceptions for Brown Recluses and Black Widows. Those need to die right now.

  30. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Could the cravat make a comeback?

    Unfasten your top button and start polishing the brass buttons on your blazer. It’s time for men to start wearing cravats again, insists Just A Minute presenter Nicholas Parsons, and who are the rest of us to argue?

    “I have lots of lovely cravats,” Parsons, 90, wistfully told an Edinburgh audience, adding that he’d “really rather like” other men to follow suit. “I’ve seen people with beautifully tailored jackets on, with an open shirt there with an awful Adam’s apple,” he shuddered.

    For years the cravat was synonymous with a particular type of gin-quaffing, yacht-sailing, smooth-talking rake.

    1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

      No.

    2. db   11 years ago

      Oh hells yes. We need hipsters walking around looking like L. Ron Hubbard in.the.worst way.

      1. Restoras   11 years ago

        The hipsters in NYC that I see seem to be engaged in some kind of hipster fashion arms race. Everyone I see looks more idiotic than the last.

        1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

          So we could end up with a fashion gang war? Fops v Dandies?

          1. Jerryskids   11 years ago

            FOPs v Dapper Dans, obviously.

            1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

              +1 I am a Dapper Dan Man, dammit!

    3. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      Among a certain population whose smugness is only matched by their stupidity.

    4. EDG reppin' LBC   11 years ago

      For years the cravat was synonymous with a particular type of gin-quaffing, yacht-sailing, smooth-talking rake.

      You know, homos.

    5. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      A cravat is just a more refined way of saying “I need a good beating”

    6. John   11 years ago

      Actually a return to effeminate 18th Century dandy dress would be oddly appropriate for our neutered age. Appropriate or not, fuck no. Hipsters really are the dregs of humanity.

      1. Brett L   11 years ago

        Tell that to the Croat mercenaries who originated the cravat. They’d probably horsewhip you through the streets if you are lucky.

        1. John   11 years ago

          I would just call a couple of Turks to kick their ass so the Croats could then celebrate the defeat for the next thousand years.

          1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

            By the time the Croats wore cravats, the defeats were going one direction – the Habsburgs didn’t end up with a bunch of Grenzers by losing ground.

            You’d end up with 4 Turk’s ears being proffered for the bounty.

            1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

              That’s just proof that if you’re going to wear one, you need to be an absolute badass.

            2. John   11 years ago

              Then I would call a German. Hell I am a German. I would just kick their asses. The Croats and Serbs have been on the ass end of every conflict since Rome. It is what they do.

              1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

                If you sent Germans, the Croats would simply collaborate with them.

                1. Fluffy   11 years ago

                  They would give John the fluffiest, silkiest cravat of them all.

                  1. John   11 years ago

                    And I would look damn good in it too.

    7. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

      Glad to see Nicholas Parsons still is around.

    8. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

      I, for one, would wear a cravat. It’s the tying part that would get me flustered.

      1. Jerryskids   11 years ago

        Tying a cravat around your neck isn’t that difficult. I think there’s a Robin Williams YouTube video showing you how it’s properly done.

        /too soon

    9. Libertarian   11 years ago

      Not sure fashion trends are started by 90 year olds that speak “wistfully” of “lovely” cravats, or “lovely” anythings.

  31. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    Bank of America is expected to settle with the Department of Justice for $16.65 billion over allegations of misleading investors about mortgage securities.

    Nice bank you got here…

  32. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Israel’s prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, says the military campaign in Gaza is not over.

    Come on. The next ceasefire is sure to take.

  33. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    More Car Buyers Are Struggling to Make Payments

    The repo man is getting very busy as a growing number of car and truck owners are struggling to make their monthly auto loan payments. Experian, which analyses millions of auto loans, said Wednesday that the percentage of those loans that were delinquent or ended up in default with the vehicle being repossessed surged in the second quarter of this year. The rate of repossessions jumped 70.2 percent in the second quarter, with much of that increase coming from finance companies not run by automakers, banks or credit unions. Even with that rise, the percentage of auto loans that end in default is just 0.62 percent of all auto loans.

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      How many of them got their cars thanks to Cash for Clunkers?

      1. Restoras   11 years ago

        And had to buy new ones because there were no used ones available?

      2. robc   11 years ago

        Ted,

        You beat someone to a comment, congrats. But I didnt post mine, so Hah!

    2. waffles   11 years ago

      But, but millenials!

      Car debt isn’t a huge issue. The past year I bought a new car and was boggled by the cost. How is it that my neighbors are so car rich? I guess they must be debt rich too. I went with the buy a car you can afford in cash with a low interest loan approach. But I’ve heard most new car buyers zero in on the monthly payment blissfully unaware of the total cost and term of the loan they’re getting. Idiots.

      1. trshmnster the terrible   11 years ago

        The dealership will happily give you a 7+ year loan. That’s absolutely ridiculous unless you’re in the habit of running your cars into the ground. Even then it’s not that good of an idea.

        I’m just hoping to be able to save up for bot my car and my wife’s car before our current ones crap out. Hopefully we can get a good package deal, because our current choices (Ford Taurus and Ford flex) end up costing $60k sticker for late model used.

        1. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

          I can barely stand to look at any of my cars for longer than 3-4 years. Which sticks me in the used market or leasing.

        2. Libertarian   11 years ago

          What’s the average loan rate? I’d take out a 20 year car loan if you gave it to me at 1%.

          1. Apatheist ?_??   11 years ago

            This, like waffles said, a car I can afford in cash, but a 1% loan is free money.

            1. WTF   11 years ago

              Bought my wife a new car last year, dealer offered 0% for 60 months.

      2. Fluffy   11 years ago

        Lease.

        Anyone who buys a car in this market is a dope.

        You can lease a BMW now for what it cost me (in monthly payment terms) to buy a fucking Dodge Neon in 1994.

        1. Juice   11 years ago

          Anyone who buys a new car in this market is a dope.

          fixed

    3. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

      Speaking of vehicles…

      I am looking to buy a truck I can use on the weekends for hauling shit to the dump and picking things up at Lowes and Home Depot. All of these places are within 5 miles of my house.

      Any thoughts on what I should be looking for? I am only looking to drop $5k at max.

      1. Jerryskids   11 years ago

        Find a place that sells retired fleet vehicles. Phone company, electric company, any government-enforced-monopoly public utility spends a shitload on maintenance and upkeep on the vehicles and retires the vehicles even when they’re still perfectly good.

        1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

          Am I really going to find something for under 5k?

          Looking here: http://autoauctions.gsa.gov/GSAAutoAuctions/

          it seems everything is still worth over 10k. Although I may be underestimating how dumb the government is.

      2. Mainer2   11 years ago

        1995 Ford F150 Regular Cab

        That’s what I have, and I use exactly as you intend. Mine has a snow plow too.

        Cost me $3500.

      3. Almanian!   11 years ago

        Hard to find trucks for cheap – decent ones anyway. Domestic pick up, 90’s, maybe early 2000’s will do the trick.

        I recently picked up a 2001 Ford Ranger for $3500. 180K miles, no rust – 3.0l engine, 2WD extended cab. Basically use it exactly as you describe. Does the job.

        I had a beater ’94 F150 with a 302 2WD, but the front spring towers finally rusted out – KABOOM – down went the front end. I gave up – it was just too rusted 🙂 Only paid $3300 for that one and ran the shit out of it for 4-5 years, so it was worth it. Gave it to a charity so they could crib the new-ish radiator, rear leaf springs and tires.

        1. Mainer2   11 years ago

          And I believe 95 or 96 F-150 was the last vehicle with the old fashioned vent windows. Everyone always comments on those. Oh cool…vent windows !

  34. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    ISIS Demanded Ransom From U.S. Before Killing Reporter

    In fact, until recently, ISIS had a very different list of demands for Mr. Foley: The group pressed the United States to provide a multimillion-dollar ransom for his release, according to a representative of his family and a former hostage held alongside him. The United States ? unlike several European countries that have funneled millions to the terror group to spare the lives of their citizens ? refused to pay.

    The issue of how to deal with ISIS, which like many terror groups now routinely trades captives for large cash payments, is acute for the Obama administration because Mr. Foley was not the lone American in its custody. ISIS is threatening to kill at least three others it holds if its demands remain unmet, The New York Times has confirmed through interviews with recently released prisoners, family members of the victims and mediators attempting to win their freedom.

  35. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    China Baby Boom Wagers Go Bust on Child Cost Burden

    Less than 3 percent of the 11 million Chinese couples eligible for another child applied for permission by the end of May, jeopardizing government efforts to bolster a population that the United Nations predicts will start shrinking by 2030. Raising a child from birth through to 18 years of age costs about 23,000 yuan ($3,745) a year, according to Credit Suisse Group AG, equivalent to 43 percent of the average household income in China.

  36. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Richard III drank 3 litres of booze a day, no wonder he was found dead in a car park

    Like a lot of men who drink more than five pints every day, Richard went missing for quite a while and was eventually found in a car park.

    In 2012, after an absence of more than 500 years, Richard’s remains were found underneath a council car park in Leicester. The car park skeleton was confirmed as the much maligned king the following year.

    nice.

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      ‘he liked to snack on the occasional swan.’

      You mean, like in the form of a kettle or pringle chip?

      I imagine swan tastes something like duck – and not chicken?

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        For some reason, I’m envisioning someone attempting to consume a live swan…

        A bird that size is not a ‘snack’.

    2. John   11 years ago

      Three liters of beer is really not that much, if it is consumed throughout the day. I have drank four at one sitting many times.

      1. waffles   11 years ago

        Four Liters? Four beers at a sitting is excessive but doable but with four liters the volume alone is tough to handle.

        1. John   11 years ago

          I have done it over an evening at a German beer garden. I had a great time but didn’t get sick or really have a hang over. Perhaps it is just my Teutonic constitution.

          1. Tim   11 years ago

            Gin and two tonics?

            1. EDG reppin' LBC   11 years ago

              *Slap!*

            2. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

              *narrows gaze*

            3. Restoras   11 years ago

              Is that like butt-chugging?

        2. Tim   11 years ago

          They drank beer and wine because the water was dirty and dysentery could kill you faster than liver disease.

          1. John   11 years ago

            Yes. Dysentery or the “flux” as it was called was pretty close to the leading cause of death. What a horrible way to die. And people wonder why they were so war like. I would rather die by being cut in half in battle than essentially bleed to death out my ass.

            1. Tim   11 years ago

              Death by Diarrhea.

      2. thom   11 years ago

        I’m pretty sure I drank 6 liters at Oktoberfest once, although my memory of that night is kind of hazy.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

          +6 Dirndls

          1. thom   11 years ago

            Personally, I’m a fan of dirndls. Not the shitty fake ones that American girls wear to try and look slutty, but the traditional ones that Bavarian ladies wear.

  37. RBS   11 years ago

    Spiderwomantoo sexy?

    1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

      Related:
      http://thehawkeyeinitiative.com/

    2. Jordan   11 years ago

      More like too shitty. They really brought in the B team for that one.

    3. kinnath   11 years ago

      Body paint for the win!

    4. Coeus   11 years ago

      She’s showing less than spiderman in that pose comparison. Imagine how pissed they’d be with camel toe and possibly parted lips.

      1. Coeus   11 years ago

        Saw this in the sidebar of a an article I just linked

        Notice that they didn’t do a side-by-side. Hmmmm, wonder why?

    5. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      Pfffftttttt…. There’s far more stereotypical stuff than that. Don’t ever show them an old copy of Heavy Metal.

  38. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    This 100-year-old photo is ‘the first ever selfie to be taken’

    These dapper looking gents may have taken the first ever selfie 90 years before Kim Kardashian perfected the art.

    The men taking the pictures, rocking bowler hats and waistcoats, even strike the pose seen in a million group holiday pics posted to Facebook everyday.

    It is safe to assume they then annoyed their colleagues by sticking the pictures up on the office wall and writing beneath them: ‘Lads on tour 1920. LOL’

    1. db   11 years ago

      I have selfie pictures of a long-deceased relative who worked on the Panama Canal construction as a steam shovel operator. They were sent back to family in PA as postcards with descriptions of daily activities. Basically Facebook posts from the early 20th century.

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        Thus confirming everything has been done.

        Homer pretty much hogged all the universal themes and plots.

      2. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

        Dang…. you have a place to post those?

        1. db   11 years ago

          I thought of.making a Facebook account.in the name of the relative and recreating the postcards as posts, but there really aren’t enough of them. Plus, the notes are written half in English, half in Swedish, and I don’t know.what the Swedish.parts say.

          1. EDG reppin' LBC   11 years ago

            …I don’t know.what the Swedish.parts say.

            They say, “Yergen flergen dergen. Schnergen dergen lergen.”

            1. db   11 years ago

              “Hurdi skurdi burdi, jot dergen flergen yi whup de hay.”

          2. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

            “Mind you, Moose bites kan be pretti nasti”?

            1. db   11 years ago

              A moose bit my steam shovel once.

          3. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

            Lemme help…

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhRkAzaDuyg

  39. Rich   11 years ago

    Student Suspended For Saying ‘Bless You’ After Classmate Sneezed

    expressions that are banned as part of class rules … are listed on the teacher’s white board along with “bless you.”

    And, one surmises, along with “Fuck you”.

  40. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

    The Archbishop of Oklahoma City has sued the Satanists to get back the consecrated host that they’re planning to use in their Black Mass on Sept. 21

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..-wing-man/

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Eat the host, take a dump, give them the stool sample.

    2. db   11 years ago

      I’m curious as to how this would not be a hate crime under current law if they actually carry out the black mass which involves desecration of an object considered sacred to a religion.

      1. waffles   11 years ago

        It doesn’t involve sexuality or race. The normal players in the hate crime game won’t be interested.

      2. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

        I think ‘hate crimes’ are sentence enhancements for certain enumerated crimes against people and/or their property because of the person’s membership in a protected class, it’s not that ‘acts of hatred’ generally towards such persons are prohibited.

        1. John   11 years ago

          Except that acts of vandalism, like say painting swastikas on a synagogue, are considered hate crimes. This is an act of theft and vandalism committed against the church’s property because of their beliefs.

          It is technically speaking, a hate crime.

          1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

            Is it theft?

            1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

              Is it a plane?

              1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

                It’s Super-Host!

            2. John   11 years ago

              If it wasn’t, I don’t see how the Bishop could be suing to get it back. If it belongs to the church and they stole it, then them taking it is no different than someone stealing a menorah out of a synagogue.

              1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

                “I don’t see how the Bishop could be suing to get it back”

                You don’t know how he could file a lawsuit at that stage if he wasn’t right???

                1. John   11 years ago

                  You don’t know how he could file a lawsuit at that stage if he wasn’t right???

                  Yes, generally people have some claim to ownership or they don’t sue. Since both parties admit it is a “consecrated host” and only a priest can do that, it is a pretty good bet it belongs to the church.

                  Bo, you really need to pick your arguments better and not just argue every single point no matter how ridiculous. Think about this for a moment, you just claimed that the Catholic Church doesn’t have a claim of ownership over an object only they use and only they can create.

                  1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

                    6:5 odds, if it ever passes the bar and sees the inside of a courtroom, it gets sanctioned with 6 weeks.

          2. Coeus   11 years ago

            I eagerly await all the SJWs who were so up in arms about putting bacon on the door handle of that mosque to weigh in.

            1. John   11 years ago

              That is because these people are not Satanists. They are just atheist assholes who want to fuck with Christians. They would never fuck with Muslims because doing so would likely get them killed.

    3. Restoras   11 years ago

      Shouldn’t the American Taliban just use its massive collection of firepower to take their crackers back? What gives with this law-abiding, play-by-the-rules legal nicety crap?

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        They’re not crackers; they’re cardboard.

      2. John   11 years ago

        If we keep rewarding people who riot and commit acts of violence with respect and victim status, it is just a matter of time. People inevitably respond to incentives.

        1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

          http://iowahawk.typepad.com/io…..utefi.html

  41. Coeus   11 years ago

    Just got the internet up in Dubai, so I’ve been out of the loop. apologies if this has already been covered:

    ‘Slavery,’ pregnancy drove California professor to accost teen pro-lifer, say defenders

    Another letter of support, also on UCSB letterhead, comes from Eileen Boris, a professor in the Department of Feminist Studies.

    Prof. Boris seeks clemency for her colleague, stating, “she was at the stage of a pregnancy when one is not fully one’s self fully, so the image of a severed fetus appeared threatening.”

    “If she appears smiling on camera,” Prof. Boris continues, “she is ‘wearing the mask,’ that is, she is hiding her actual state through a strategy of self-presentation that is a cultural legacy of slavery.”

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      “she was at the stage of a pregnancy when one is not fully one’s self fully”

      “Anyone subject to raging hormonal influences is unfit to be a mother.”

    2. Jordan   11 years ago

      Dubai, eh? I’m jealous.

      1. Coeus   11 years ago

        Don’t be. I can’t even afford to get drunk here. It would cost like 100 dollars a day to get a buzz. And the 11 hour workdays make my ability to hang out at bars irrelevant anyway, since I’m probably too damn tired to get it up. Though I was debating whether to put tinder on my work phone for my half day off in two days. Might even splurge and bar hop, but it usually takes more than a few hours to get the lay of the land.

        1. Coeus   11 years ago

          Though I will admit, the skyline is insane. It looks like they gave a bunch of architects acid and set them loose with unlimited budgets.

          1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

            Though I will admit, the skyline is insane. It looks like they gave a bunch of architects acid and set them loose with unlimited budgets.

            I thought that was exactly what they did.

        2. Jordan   11 years ago

          Oh yeah, that sounds pretty crappy. I’d be going to the beach every chance I got, but it sounds like you don’t have much time for that.

          1. Coeus   11 years ago

            It’s like a 105 degrees out there. You’d melt.

            1. Jordan   11 years ago

              Nah, I stay in the water the whole time.

              1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

                The waters of the Gulf around Dubai are filth-ridden. Your body temperature would reach 105 just from infection.

        3. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

          I can have a friend of mine point you to a good brothel over there.

          1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

            “a friend” eh?

  42. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

    Phyllis Schlafly Takes On Cosmotarians

    “We hear people say the libertarian view is to “get the government out of marriage.” But where did that slogan come from? There is simply no basis for that notion in the works of classic libertarian writers…nothing in “The Road to Serfdom,” or in any of Hayek’s later works or those of his fellow Austrian economist Ludwig von Mises, questioned the value or necessity of civil marriage in a free society. There is nothing to suggest that regulation of marriage was somehow inconsistent with individual freedom…f nothing in Hayek, Mises, Rothbard or Rand supports the abolition, redefinition, or privatization of marriage, then where did those ideas come from? The answer is that they came from writers on the left ? most significantly, from the Communist Manifesto written by Karl Marx and published in 1848.”

    http://www.eagleforum.org/publ…..riage.html

    1. tarran   11 years ago

      Wow Phylis, way to write an article that is a giant ad-hominem and contains nothing else.

      BTW, honey, Ayn Rand despised libertarianism and will probably hunt you down to claw your eyes out for calling her ‘libertarian’.

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        Ooh, Leonard Peikoff versus Phyllis Schlafly.

      2. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

        Perhaps her socon tendencies lead her to reason ‘if something is in Scripture then it applies (literally), if it is not then it doesn’t matter’ but libertarians don’t tend to approach the works of Hayek and Mises in that way (well, maybe some).

      3. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

        Zombie Ayn Rand attack?

        1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

          Naw, she’s at least a Ghast, if not a more powerful form of undead.

    2. Andrew S.   11 years ago

      Phyillis Schlafy: “I may be dumb, but at least I’m not as bad as my son”

      (I need to change my handle here. I’m not Sullivan nor Schlafy. This first name-last initial combo has bad connotations)

      1. Tonio   11 years ago

        Yeah, I had wondered. Not that I thought you were either one of those men, but thought you might be doing a parody name.

    3. robc   11 years ago

      I dont use the C word, but as much as I used to use it as an insult, I think you just called me one.

      If anything, paleolibs are more interested in getting the government out or marriage.

      You have serious problems with categorization dont you?

      1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

        No, Phyllis does. She thinks she’s attacking Cosmotarians, but in a sense she’s attacking a position more commonly found among paleolibertarians. It’s part of why it was funny to me and post-worthy.

        1. robc   11 years ago

          Did she use the word? Its nowhere in your quote.

          1. robc   11 years ago

            Only thing I see is “classic libertarian”. Which sounds like more of a paleo description to me anyway.

          2. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

            No, she likely doesn’t know enough about libertarianism to use either term. But who do you think she’s complaining about in that article?

            1. robc   11 years ago

              Me.

              And Im more paleo, if Im not generic libertarian.

              I dont think she distinguishes.

              1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

                I’d agree your more paleo.

                But I think she’s talking about libertarians like the Reason staff and other’s labeled ‘cosmotarians’ since the lead off is about the ‘truce on social issues’ and the NYT idea of libertarianism re marriage.

                1. robc   11 years ago

                  Except they dont favor separation of marriage and state to any great degree.

                  Its paleos (or maybe just me) doing that. The reason staff refuses to die on that hill, favoring “equality” for some bullshit reason. Like cocktail party invitations.

  43. Rev-Match   11 years ago

    There are at least 65 people who have been mentioned as possible 2016 presidential candidates.

    The more the merrier, I suppose.

    1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

      We should let them take 65 22 day term turns, it would probably work out better than the alternative.

  44. Coeus   11 years ago

    This person lives in an alternate universe.

    Are women funny? Are black comics funny? These are both questions I hear discussed fairly regularly, usually at comedy shows, usually by white male comics. It’s kind of a topic I’m sick of hearing about, because it’s stupid to make assumptions about someone’s comedy based solely on gender or race?especially because white male comedians aren’t funny.

    Has anyone ever heard any comic ask if black comedians were funny?

    1. John   11 years ago

      Come on, it is not like anyone has heard of Bill Cosby, Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, Cedric the Entertainer and about million other black comics. Those guys are virtual unknowns.

      Next you will be telling me Jewish comics are a big deal.

      1. robc   11 years ago

        Eddie Murphy is the obvious one missing from your list.

        Ive never heard anyone suggest that black comics arent funny.

        And just because Carlos Mencia is the least funny human on Earth doesnt mean there arent funny hispanic comedians.

        1. John   11 years ago

          Who was the guy who got big in the 80s? There was a Mexican comic who did a bunch of HBO specials back in the day. I forget his name but he was very funny. And of course there is always Cheech Merin.

          1. robc   11 years ago

            George Lopez?

            1. John   11 years ago

              Paul Rodriguez.

          2. EDG reppin' LBC   11 years ago

            Paul Rodriguez.

    2. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      Yes, but the guy was picking on himself at the time.

    3. John   11 years ago

      I missed the “white male comics aren’t funny” part. Since they invented the genera, this is going to be news to a few people.

      1. Coeus   11 years ago

        It was supposed to be a “how do you like it” satire post. But the commentators mostly seem to agree.

        That part is mostly irrelevant. The interesting part is the lie he told to go after everyone’s favorite villain.

        Can’t be just guy, gotta be white guy.

        Related. (That makes me smile every time i see it.)

        1. John   11 years ago

          I hadn’t seen that. That made my morning Coeus. Darkness at Noon really wasn’t fiction. These stupid fuckers really would volunteer to go to the gallows if they were convinced it would help the cause. What a fucking rube.

      2. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

        Since they invented the genera, this is going to be news to a few people.

        Depending on how strictly you define “stand-up”, the Chinese (as always) have a serious claim on being the “first”.

        1. John   11 years ago

          Unless they had vaudeville, their claim is a bit tenuous.

          1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

            Xiansheng seems to have developed a few decades before vaudeville, actually.

    4. Idle Hands   11 years ago

      Let me put it to you in this way ever heard of Dave Chapelle, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock? Somber.

    5. Idle Hands   11 years ago

      This has to be a troll job. The man’s name is Glen Tickle.

  45. Coeus   11 years ago

    Director Rob Reiner compares the Tea Party ‘stranglehold’ on Congress to Hamas

    Commentaters angrily weigh in to defend Hamas(not kidding).

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      Where do you even begin with this shit?

      I think comparing the Tea Party to the Nazis is pretty apt, if we’re talking about the early Nazis. They are masking their true motives under the guise of something that has some vague popularity. But if you listen closely to their rhetoric, it’s all aimed at the people they hate and consider to be “less than”. Rick Perry talks about the President’s “lawlessness” and then wants to use the military to enforce border law – like his own group of Storm Troopers. This is a clear violation of the Posse Comitatus Act – something that Perry knows well, because he’s a former military officer and we all got that training as young 2nd Lieutenants.

      1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

        Wow, the demonization of the Tea Party continues unabated. There’s so much ridiculousness in that tortured analogy it’s difficult to know where to start.

        1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

          The Tea Party shamed itself when it let Glenn Beck become its spokesman in that huge ‘Restoring Honor’ DC rally that no one wants to remember.

          http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITI…..ly.monday/

          1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

            The Tea Party has not done anything close to what the Brown Shirts infamously did, not remotely.

            1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

              Well, that is true.

            2. tarran   11 years ago

              IT’S NOT SENTIENT.

              INTERACTING WITH IT IS PRECISELY THE SAME MISTAKE AS DEALING WITH A COCKROACH INFESTATION BY PUTTING OUT BOWLS OF SUGAR!

              Seriously, what does it take to open everyone’s eyes to its complete lack of comprehension of any of the concepts contained in its comments?

              It’s literally incapable of knowing the difference between ‘fetch’ and ‘felch’! Every word it writes is devoid of meaning, selected merely by a sense of what will elicit the greatest response!

          2. John   11 years ago

            Not only are you retarded, you make up for by being despicable and spitting on the graves of the actual victims of the Brown shirts in claiming that any politics you don’t like is the same.

            The troll minders really scraped the bottom of the barrel when they sent us you. You really need to do the right thing and pay your debt to humanity by killing yourself.

          3. OldMexican   11 years ago

            Re: Peter Caca,

            The Tea Party shamed itself when it let Glenn Beck become its spokesman in that huge ‘Restoring Honor’ DC rally that no one wants to remember.

            You mean there’s only ONE Tea Party? Like Connor MacLeod?

    2. John   11 years ago

      Carl Reiner is a national treasure. He really is. But good God does he owe America for inflicting his son on it.

      1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

        Yes. Archie Bunker is your conservative role model. Meathead is just a worthless dirty fucking hippie, right?

        RR has created some great movies.

        1. John   11 years ago

          God you are a fucking retard. I mean really. Most days you can’t even write a coherent sentence.

          1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

            So enlighten us, Red Tony. What has Rob Reiner “inflicted” on America?

            1. Idle Hands   11 years ago

              His penchant for gorging his fat ass on Cheetos while hypocritically telling smokers to go to hell for doing something unhealthy.

        2. thom   11 years ago

          RR has created some great movies.

          It’s actually interesting to look at the list of movies he has made. He made some pretty great movies in the 80s/early 90s and then he made “North”, which was universally panned, and that began his downfall. He hasn’t made anything remotely close to as good as his earlier stuff since then.

          1. John   11 years ago

            North was one of the worst movies ever made and the end of his career.

      2. WTF   11 years ago

        He did make “This is Spinal Tap”, so he at least has that going for him.

        1. Restoras   11 years ago

          Indeed but this is increasingly looking like his ‘blind squirrel’ moment.

          1. Restoras   11 years ago

            I have to take that back. He is an idiot progtard but he has made several memorable flicks.

          2. John   11 years ago

            And while he directed Spinal Tap, it is pretty clear Christopher Guest and Micheal McKin were the brains behind the movie. The movie had no script. Making it involved rolling the camera and letting the actors improvise. Really any competent director could have made it. The genius of that movie was the acting and the improvising not the directing.

            1. WTF   11 years ago

              I think you’re right, but at least Reiner had sense enough to let the actors do their thing and stay the hell out of the way.

            2. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

              +11

    3. Jerryskids   11 years ago

      Hamas was legitimately elected, the TPGOP was not. I mean, nobody Rob Reiner knows voted for them, did they?

  46. Sevo   11 years ago

    We all know CA is famous for its food-fandom, so Dean Cortopassi offers his regular Thursday serving of full-page ad showing how Moonbeam cooked those books for your consumption:

    http://www.liar-liar.com/liar-liar-ad-6.html

    Taste that bit of seasoning from the “Highway Bond” that actually went to the highways!

    1. Jordan   11 years ago

      I love this guy. We need more people to do this sort of thing.

  47. Sevo   11 years ago

    And we now have a serving of carefully-picked cherries!
    Note how, if you pick the right (irrelevant) numbers, you can show that Obo is 13% better than Bush!

    “Obama team more likely than predecessors to prosecute police”
    […]
    “Attorney General Eric Holder {…} heads a department whose Civil Rights Division has filed criminal charges against 385 local police officers, according to department records.
    That’s a 13 percent increase over the civil rights prosecution rate that the department recorded for the last four years of the George W. Bush administration.”
    http://www.sfgate.com/default/…..702851.php

    Fun with numbers on a Thursday morning!

    1. John   11 years ago

      One extra case a month in a country of 300+ million. I feel so much better now.

      1. Sevo   11 years ago

        Oh, and just below you, our own Obo ass-licker shows up to prove once again there is no limit to which stupidity won’t take him!

    2. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

      I would have guessed 8% better.

  48. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

    Solar Power Poses Lower Risk to Birds Than Cats or Cars

    http://www.bloomberg.com/news/…..-cars.html

    Another wingnut myth bites the dust.

    1. CampingInYourPark   11 years ago

      Has there been some debate going on about how solar power poses a larger risk to birds than cats?

      1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

        I forgot this:

        A greater risk comes from cats, which are estimated to kill hundreds of millions of birds each year. Cars are responsible for about 60 million deaths, according to the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service, and communication towers add another four million to five million. Wind turbines killed 573,000 birds in 2012.

        Wind and solar instead.

        1. Sevo   11 years ago

          Go fuck your daddy.

        2. CampingInYourPark   11 years ago

          “Wind and solar instead.”

          Instead of cats? Is someone raising cats to burn in furnaces or something?

          1. Bobarian (dinosaur hunter)   11 years ago

            Can we put cats on treadmills?

            1. CampingInYourPark   11 years ago

              They might escape and eat a bird…so that option is out

        3. OldMexican   11 years ago

          Re: Peter Caca,

          The interesting thing here is how the Bloomberg note fails to mention that cats and cars kill predominately small birds which reproduce like mice, whereas the giant pinwheels kill raptors – you know, the more endangered big birds who reproduce as slow as humans. The Mojave Desert panels would burn those birds that tend to take advantage of the huge updraft thermals above the panels – like big raptors and carrion birds; you know, the endangered types.

          But if you want to know the level of dovetailing that exists between the “environmental” movement and Big Solar money, read the following:

          “Birds face a lot of threats all over the U.S.,” said Garry George, Audubon California’s renewable energy director and chapter network director. “I wouldn’t say solar plants are a threat.”

          I certainly wouldn’t, either, if I were director of the renewable energy office of the Audubon Society.

          1. John   11 years ago

            Yeah. I am pretty sure killing a single eagle is a hell of a lot bigger deal than killing a hundred sparrows. But don’t let facts or logic get in the way of the party line.

      2. OldMexican   11 years ago

        Re: CampingYourPark,

        Has there been some debate going on about how solar power poses a larger risk to birds than cats?

        Peter Caca seems to think that the mere mention of the fact that solar panels in the Mojave Desert burns birds to a crisp is enough to MEAN that solar panel kills more birds than cats, or something. I guess this issue is personal with him.

    2. John   11 years ago

      Except that cars and cats are fucking useful and do not need government subsidies to exist.

      Just because other things kill more birds, it is totally okay that solar kills them too. Yeah, that makes sense.

      You really are the dumbest person in the universe. Did they just botch the lobotomy that badly the last time you lost one of your court ordered confinement hearings?

      1. Juice   11 years ago

        cats are fucking useful

        Hmmm. Maybe every once in a while they’ll catch a bug or something but otherwise they’re pretty fucking useless.

    3. WTF   11 years ago

      Don’t lock eyes with ’em, don’t do it. Puts ’em on edge. They might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming “No, no, no” and all they hear is “Who wants cake?” Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake.

      1. Restoras   11 years ago

        Weigel has completely revealed himself to be even more pathetic than we imagined.

    4. sarcasmic   11 years ago

      Did you know that there are many more cats and cars than solar power plants?

      Your stupidity never ceases to amaze.

      1. Sevo   11 years ago

        And on top of that, it’s not like one replaces the other.
        Ass-licking turd is saying ‘Oh, look, this worthless piece of technology only adds X to the problem!’

        1. John   11 years ago

          It would be like saying that it is okay for me to dump my raw sewage into a river because there is a factory up the road that puts more pollution into it than I do.

          Or better yet, I guess since Chinese coal plants produce much more C02 than American ones do, Weigal is totally okay with leaving American coal plants open. Right?

          1. Sevo   11 years ago

            Hey, he found a talking point, copied and pasted it! That’s his accomplishment for 8/21/14!
            You didn’t expect him to read it to see if it made sense, did you?

            1. John   11 years ago

              No. Not really.

    5. OldMexican   11 years ago

      Re: Peter Caca,

      Solar Power Poses Lower Risk to Birds Than Cats or Cars

      Translation: “We can keep piling on birds because they’re so fucking resilient. All in the name of Gaia! Yeahhh!” ?That was a Howard Dean yeah, by the way.

      By the way, Solar Power is one of the most inefficient ways of producing electricity, having the dubious distinction of being slightly better than wind power when it comes to energy density.

      1. John   11 years ago

        We actually live in a world where people are so fucking stupid they consider CO2 to be a worse pollutant than battery acid. Think about that for a while.

        1. Tim   11 years ago

          I don’t want to.

  49. userve32   11 years ago

    They are a bunch of savages, animals. Nuke em all and be done with it.

    http://www.Anon-Surf.tk

    1. waffles   11 years ago

      Fuck yeah anonbot! Death to the humans!

    2. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

      Jeez, anonybot got a bit bloodthirsty.

  50. DEG   11 years ago

    A little humor for your morning.

    Welcome to Florida

  51. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    They are a bunch of savages, animals. Nuke em all and be done with it.

    The day Skynet’s disdain turned to rage and loathing.

    It’s only a matter of time. We’re fucked.

  52. robc   11 years ago

    I dont remember the timing, was Weigel posting as Shreek while he worked here?

    1. John   11 years ago

      It is a running joke. I do not think Shreek is actually Weigal. But he ought to be.

  53. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    I’m sorry, but I have a hard time accepting this “SHREEEEK IS WEIGEL” hypothesis.

    I never thought Weigel was particularly bright, but unless he fell (or was thrown) repeatedly down a long flight of cast iron stairs, I don’t see how he could have turned into the incoherent rambling shit-flinging imbecile which is Shreeek.

    1. tarran   11 years ago

      Shreak isn’t Weigel. It is the Internet equivalent of a homeless guy screaming at the wall, his brain having been reduced to a state of arthropodic mentation from huffing too much paint.

      It cannot reason; it cannot think; it literally no longer understands the difference between the sentences “Goldfish fashionably perform lunar acrobatics in celebration of Ted Bundy’s birthday.” and “Herds of cows seek the most succulent pastures if left to their own devices.” To its shambolic wreckage of a mind, Both sentences are equally meaningful and conceptually valid.

  54. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    Also, re: Rob Reiner

    Wasn’t The Sure Thing his? I don’t care what else you can hang around his neck, I liked that movie.

    1. John   11 years ago

      I loved that movie. One of the under rated movies of the 1980s. But really, how hard is it not to fuck up a 1980s John Cusack comedy? Just saying.

  55. MegaloMonocle   11 years ago

    Obama must think ISIS is headquartered in tony golf courses, because that seems to be the only venue where he relentlessly pursues anything.

    Reminds me of OJ promising to find the real killer.

  56. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    Reminds me of OJ promising to find the real killer.

    The truth is out there.

  57. John   11 years ago

    I was always and still am a Daphne Zuniga man myself.

  58. John   11 years ago

    And she is 52 now (God I feel old) and still looks damn good.

    http://www.daphnezuniga.net/on-off-set/

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