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A.M. Links: Fifth Night of Protests in Ferguson, Mo., U.S. Says Yazidis Mostly Rescued From Mount Sinjar, Next Step Toward Robot Revolution Taken

Ed Krayewski | 8.15.2014 9:00 AM

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  • Robot Equal Rights Poster
    ufunk.net

    Protesters in Ferguson, Missouri demonstrated for a fifth straight night against the police shooting of 18-year-old Michael Brown over the weekend, with police remaining mostly calm. The State Highway Patrol has assumed responsibility for monitoring the protests and is also overseeing the local police force. Vigils were alo held for Michael Brown in 90 cities, with protests over Brown's killing, and local incidents of police brutality, in places like New York City, Washington, DC, and Baltimore. The Department of Justice has begun to interview witnesses to the shooting. The Ferguson Police Department plans on releasing the name of the cop who killed Brown later today. An "Anonymous" group on Twitter released a name yesterday, but it was of a police dispatcher in St. Ann, Missouri, whose stepmother now fears for his life.

  • Most of the Yazidis trapped by the Islamic State on Mount Sinjar in Iraq have escaped through a corridor set up by Kurdish and Yazidi fighters. After Special Forces conducted a recon mission at the mountain, the United States says there are less refugees left there than previously believed and said it was unlikely that the U.S. would launch a mission to rescue them. Yazidi leaders dispute this, saying there are at least 10,000 refugees left on the mountain. Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Al-Maliki, meanwhile, finally agreed to hand over power to his nominated successor.
  • Two leaders of the pro-Russian separatists in eastern Ukraine have resigned as Ukraine's armed forces appear to be gaining the upper hand in the conflict. A convoy from Russia purporting to carry humanitarian aid to Ukraine is parked on the Russian side of the border.
  • David Gregory will be replaced by Chuck Todd as host of NBC News' Meet the Press.
  • Major League Baseball's chief operations officer, Rob Manfred, was selected as baseball's newest commissioner.
  • Scientists at Harvard have developed miniature robots that can swarm by the thousands, displaying how simple complex self-organizing behavior can be.

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NEXT: Video: Ferguson, Police Militarization, and the Culture of Harassment

Ed Krayewski is a former associate editor at Reason.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    The Ferguson Police Department plans on releasing the name of the cop who killed Brown later today.

    "And that officer's name is... YOUR MOTHER!" [runs off]

    1. Los Doyers   11 years ago

      Been drinking from Epi's stash, I see.

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      "And that officer's name is... Hello."

      1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

        Annyong!

    3. Doctor Whom   11 years ago

      Shalom aleichem.

    4. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Hello.

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        Ha! Beat you to the punch! 😉

        1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

          Shouldn't you be a charred cinder by now? I guess it's down to the chainsword.

          1. Ted S.   11 years ago

            The gods don't smite people who dislike bagpiping.

    5. Game of Thrones fan   11 years ago

      His name is Robert Paulson. His name is Robert Paulson.

  2. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    FBI: 80 Percent Of Police Officers Are Overweight

    http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2014/0.....verweight/

    1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      See? They have an excuse for shooting first. They're too doughy to run after suspects.

    2. waffles   11 years ago

      according to the goog 75% of men and 60% of women are overweight. That is shocking that police departments which I thought had some kind of physical requirements have more overweight people than the general population.

      1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

        I think they have requirements for when you enter their departments, but unions have made any fitness standards after that a no-no.

        1. waffles   11 years ago

          That sounds like the union is hindering public safety and officer safety at the same time.

          1. Marshall Gill   11 years ago

            That sounds like the union is hindering public safety and officer safety at the same time.

            What do either of these things have to do with enriching the union leaders?

        2. Illocust   11 years ago

          Nope, there are fitness exams every so many years. Its just the standards for these exams are don't be morbidly obese.

          1. Xeones   11 years ago

            They can stand on a Segway, but they can't sit on a Rascal.

      2. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

        A friend was looking into going into law enforcement about 2 years ago. IIRC, the entrance test he was looking at involved being able to run 1.5 miles in 15 minutes.

        1. AdamJ   11 years ago

          Pretty sure I could walk 1.5 miles in 15 minutes.

          1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

            I'm presuming AD thinks it's a bad thing to answer my own question. I can run that distance in about 10:30 to 11 minutes. Less if I really push. So what they're saying is I can out run a cop for 1.5 miles.

            Rats. Wait. That's wrong. They have the great equalizer. Guns.

            1. PD Scott   11 years ago

              "You might outrun the motor cop but you can't outrun the Motorola."

          2. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

            It's certainly a lax standard, but 6 mph would be a very fast walk.

            1. Tonio   11 years ago

              Yeah, 4 mph is considered a standard walking pace on good trails/road/path.

        2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

          Are you saying this is a good or bad thing?

          1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

            I'm saying it's pathetically easy.

  3. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Seattle Woman, 33, Arrested After "Humping" Lawn Chairs, Exposing Self

    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/b.....per-576432

    1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

      Epietta?

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        I was thinking Morgan Fairchlld.

  4. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    WARMING STOPS WARMING

    ...Warming haults due to climate change...

    1. waffles   11 years ago

      There is nothing that climate change can't do. It is the satan to the god of Gaia locked in battle eternal for the soul of the planet.

      1. trshmnster the terrible   11 years ago

        Gaia sent her form of Jesus as one of those tree people, but all he got was a special on the discovery channel. We're so fucked!

        1. AdamJ   11 years ago

          Alright! Problem solved! Now can we move on to cops murdering teenagers? Kthnxbye!

    2. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

      phew... saved by our rascalness

  5. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    'Thanks Michelle!': Disgusted teens across the country pose alongside new healthy vending machines in their schools to protest the removal of their favorite treats
    First Lady has introduced new rules that saw companies limited in what products they could advertise on signs, vending machines, cups and menu boards on school grounds
    Food industry spent nearly $150 million in 2009 on marketing in schools, 93 percent was promoting drinks
    Schools now require drink companies to promote their diet sodas or water on signs and scoreboards, rather than full-calorie options like Coca-Cola and Pepsi
    Michelle Obama's Let's Move program is now in its fourth year

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....nacks.html
    From the comments:

    awakepatriot, Tucson, United States, 21 minutes ago

    That Michelle guy has to butt his head into everything. And he doesn't know the first thing about nutrition. I didn't see anything healthy in those machines. Also, there is absolutely NOTHING healthy about subway! Is yoga mat healthy to eat?

    1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

      So the anonybots on the Daily Fail comment boards are no better than the H&R ones?

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Let's hope they keep these anty-nannying attitudes into adulthood.

    3. gaijin   11 years ago

      First Lady has introduced new rules

      Remind me please, which part of the constitution elucidates the first lady's role in government and the law?

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        The 'Shrieking Eels' clause.

      2. trshmnster the terrible   11 years ago

        The right to bear arms.

        1. Rhywun   11 years ago

          The right to bear tear arms.

          FTFY.

      3. wareagle   11 years ago

        it's a little known component of the FYTW clause.

        1. RBS   11 years ago

          Yes, it's in the extra fine print.

          1. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

            Is that the invisible ink portion or the ultra-fine print?

            1. RBS   11 years ago

              Yes.

            2. Jerryskids   11 years ago

              The wookie-ese portion you thought was just a random ink smear.

    4. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      'That Michelle guy.'

      Give that person a show.

      Now.

    5. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      So part of the result of Michelle's unwelcome crusade is to give Snapple a monopoly in vending machines?

      Niiiice.

      1. tarran   11 years ago

        Hey, her bachelor's thesis was a long paper on how going to college changed people's feeling about being black.

        She's doing the best she can.

        1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

          I still have that bookmarked. I'm going to let my son plagiarize it if he needs a solid C- in the 3rd grade,

  6. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

    A father has defended his decision to allow his six-year-old son to dress up in a police uniform and go doorknocking on his own to sell rocks as false gold, saying his son "does weird stuff like that all the time".

    http://www.ntnews.com.au/news/.....7025475626

    1. trshmnster the terrible   11 years ago

      Somebody is going to have a lot of fetishes when he grows up

      (the dad... I'm talking about the dad)

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      "If the police can get away with breaking the law, why can't I?"

    3. Zeb   11 years ago

      The police uniform is pretty weird, but otherwise I think that kid is off to a good start.
      I guess the US doesn't have a monopoly on people fretting about unsupervised kids.

    4. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

      When we were 7 and 8, my brother and I would routinely go door to door and sell people,their mail.

      Most of them didn't seem to mind much.

      1. hamilton   11 years ago

        Two questions spring to mind:

        1. Did you tear it up in front of them if they didn't buy?

        2. Was there a special category for mail belonging to former astronauts?

        1. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

          1. They usually lectured us that we shouldn't be taking their mail, then smiled at us.

          2. Never had the chance, as there was no,mailbox,to,liberate it from.

      2. Zeb   11 years ago

        That's awesome. Though probably also a federal felony.

        1. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

          The local mailman fucked up mail all the time, so people were usually cool when we corrected his mistakes and took them the mail. He was a serious drunk and would routinely fire off all kinds of guns from his,back yard on holidays.

          We graduated to,selling pictures on the school playground that we had cut out of Playboy mags by fifth grade. That did not end as pleasantly.

          1. EDG reppin' LBC   11 years ago

            When I lived in Bloomington, IN, my house was toward the end of the mail route. Sometimes the mailman would show up at 2:50pm, and that day we got mail. If he didn't show up by 3:00, we knew where to find him; down the street at Buffalo Wild Wings. He would stop his route at 3 everyday. Whether he was finished or not. It was time for beer, and fuck mail delivery. He was nice enough, and we could go collect our mail. I think he played in a metal cover band, too. Big dude with long hair and a David Lee Roth attitude.

  7. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    5 Legal Rights Women Have That Men Don't
    ...In the US, citizens are free to exercise their constitutionally guaranteed right to democratically choose their own leaders through the process of casting a ballot in an election once they reach the age of 18. Women achieve this right by the simple act of surviving 18 years. Men may not actualize their basic rights as a citizen without first signing a Selective Service card, in which they agree that at the discretion of the democratically elected government, they will take up arms and die to defend their liberty and way of life. The draft. Men may vote if, and only if, they agree they will face death if required. Women have no such obligation, but they do get to vote for the governments that can potentially send men to meet death. Again, regardless of how you feel about the draft, women have the right to vote without agreeing to be drafted. Men don't....

    1. Doctor Whom   11 years ago

      Nice mansplaining, you patriarchal MRA. Registration with Selective Service is a responsibility, not a right, and therefore doesn't come under equal rights. This is what at least some feminists actually argue.

      1. hamilton   11 years ago

        From the comments:

        Most of the rest of this is simply stretching logic about practical biological differences between men and women.

        In short, loaded language.

        See, the biological differences argument is perfectly valid. Well, in one direction.

        1. $park? has had enough   11 years ago

          What. The. Fuck? Seriously.

    2. hamilton   11 years ago

      1. Women have the right to genital integrity

      I'm onto you. You just linked to this to start a circumcision thread.

    3. Zeb   11 years ago

      I don't recall ever having my selective service status checked when registering to vote. Is that really a requirement?

      1. Zeb   11 years ago

        A bit of Googling tells me that not registering for SS does not mean you can't vote.

        1. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

          It makes you a felon, though, and that might mean you can't vote.

          1. Zeb   11 years ago

            If you get charged and convicted, which almost never happens. No one has been charged with failure to register since 1986, according to Wikipedia.

            1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

              They do check when you apply to college though. You won't get financial aid if you aren't registered.

              1. Zeb   11 years ago

                Yes, I do remember that. That whole process is why I can remember my SSN.

                Apparently when they were charging people with failure to register, it actually cause fewer people to register. Much more effective just to withhold various federal government services.

                1. T   11 years ago

                  Haha! Suckers! I never registered and the government paid for college!

          2. Apatheist ?_??   11 years ago

            It also makes you ineligible for government student loans. While you don't have a right to subsidized loans, it certainly violates equal protection.

      2. Antilles   11 years ago

        I just got a job that requires a security clearance, and one of the things I had to provide was my Selective Service number. Fortunately, I had one. Not sure if I'd be disqualified without it, but they did ask for it.

    4. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

      Why skip the first on, Johnny?

      1. Women have the right to genital integrity

      1. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

        I wanted you to be the first to bring up genitals. See what I did there?

        1. $park? has had enough   11 years ago

          Does Nikki always bring up your genitals?

          1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

            Depends on the outfit.

  8. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    David Gregory will be replaced by Chuck Todd as host of NBC News' Meet the Press.

    Todd is thrilled to now be cleared to carry outlawed weapon mags in DC.

    1. AdamJ   11 years ago

      Phew. I thought for a second there that they might hire someone who hasn't been snuggle buddies with Barry O for the last 6 years. Bullet dodged.

  9. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Secret Service 'Aware' of Apparent ISIS Flag Photo in Front of the White House

    The Secret Service said it is "aware" of a photo that appeared to show an image of an ISIS flag in front of the White House.

    If authentic, the photo showed a hand holding up an image of a flag for ISIS (also known as ISIL or Islamic State), displayed on a smartphone, on Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the White House fence. That area, closed off to street traffic, is frequented by thousands of tourists every day.

    It was tweeted from an apparently pro-ISIS Twitter handle @sunna_rev on Aug. 9.

    ZOMG!

    1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

      It was a Clinton "depends on what the meaning of is, is" protest!

      h/t WTF

    2. trshmnster the terrible   11 years ago

      At least back in the day they had good pretense for war. A goaded bombing of a naval base. A ship that sinks from a boiler explosion that was "obviously sabotage", a torpedo to an ally ship that had some Americans aboard.

      Now you just hold a phone up with a picture of a flag and people foam at the mouth.

      1. gaijin   11 years ago

        just hold a phone up with a picture of a flag and people foam at the mouth.

        We're being Pavlov'd

        1. Ted S.   11 years ago

          We? Speak for yourself.

          1. gaijin   11 years ago

            Sorry, yes, I should have said it is an attempt to Pavlov 'us'.

            1. Jerryskids   11 years ago

              I saw that flag picture and I didn't think a thing about it.

              Although I did suddenly get a craving for a Diet Sprite and some carrot sticks and felt the irresistable urge to go tell my neighbor he's a fat tub of lard who needs to start eating healthier.

    3. Ted S.   11 years ago

      It could just as easily have been photoshopped.

      1. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

        that's what I was thinking too

    4. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      I know a hardcore redneck Democrat who had to take down his Gadsden flag when the tea party movement became popular.

    5. ant1sthenes   11 years ago

      You know, the 24th is the 200 year anniversary of the burning of Washington, DC. Maybe ISIS has plans to celebrate.

  10. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

    A 72-year old man from Gokwe died under mysterious circumstances a few minutes after a traditional healer (tsikamutanda) from Chipinge allegedly destroyed his goblin.

    Members of the Mhlanga family in Mhondogori, Gokwe are yet to come to terms with the death of Punish Mhlanga who died immediately after the alleged destruction of the goblin.

    http://www.bulawayo24.com/inde.....gbrqo.dpuf

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Punish Mhlanga? Well, I guess they gave him the ultimate punishment.

    2. $park? has had enough   11 years ago

      Everyone knows you don't just destroy a man's goblin for fuck's sake. What were they expecting to happen. Any word on whether they're going to sue to get the witch doctor's license revoked?

    3. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Why do I get the image of Steve Martin as being the witch doctor who performed the exorcist?

  11. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    'I am Charles Manson's wife'
    Afton Burton was 16 and living with her parents in Illinois when she discovered Charles Manson.

    Now, nine years later, her name is Star, she's 25 years old, and she considers herself Charles Manson's wife, even though it isn't official yet.

    "He filed for the first round of paperwork," says Star, who says she's in love with the 79-year-old convicted murderer. "I'm completely with him, and he's completely with me. It's what I was born for, you know. I don't know what else to say."...

    1. tarran   11 years ago

      "[Manson]'s not manipulative at all"

      Honey, you might want to read up on the shit he did. Manson manipulated *every* person who thought he cared about them.

      If he did care about you, why is he OK with you living in the dinky town where he is imprisoned instead of making something with your life?

      1. Mike Laursen   11 years ago

        Dinky? Then why are we Californians building a high-speed tail line that goes there? Answer that, smarty-pants.

    2. Doctor Whom   11 years ago

      "He's not manipulative at all," said or thought every manipulated person ever.

  12. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    An "Anonymous" group on Twitter released a name yesterday, but it was of a police dispatcher in St. Ann, Missouri, whose stepmother now fears for his life.

    Anonymous takes a credibility hit.

    1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

      Jack Frapp Rish Mo isn't gonna liek this. Maybe they should have jsut rolled with it.

  13. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

    German police rescue man who spent more than three days trapped in handcuffs after 'autoerotic accident'

    It's cool, no cannibalism was involved

    1. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

      'autoerotic accident' would be a great band name

      1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

        seconded.

      2. Brett L   11 years ago

        "David Carradine and Autoerotic Accident"

      3. Reverend Mayhem   11 years ago

        Nah -- album title.

    2. toolkien   11 years ago

      I now have a desire to watch Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory...

  14. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Japanese Women Don't Want To See Man Nipples

    In a report published on Huffington Post Japan, a recent poll asked 750 adult women, ranging from their 20s to 60s, if it was okay if you could see men's nipples through their shirts. Only 15.7 percent said it was, with the remaining 84.3 percent saying it was totally not okay.

    Many said seeing nipples through shirts was "unpleasant" and that they wanted men to wear undershirts. Being able to see a man's nipples meant, for some of those polled, that the man wasn't properly dressed! "It's gross," said one 20-something year-old woman. "It's like they're showing them off on purpose." Or maybe, it's the middle of summer, and it's hot, and they don't want to wear layers of t-shirts as not to nipple offend people? However, even among those polled, some of them were willing to give men a nipple pass, if the dudes were models or actors or a guy they liked.

    1. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

      Yes, mens' nipples are the weirdest thing you will see in all of Japan.

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        Well, the Japanese people are probably used to the Japanese things we find weird.

    2. Jordan   11 years ago

      Could have fooled me, considering how much time they spend playing with them in Japanese pr0n. I don't know how a country with such beautiful women could produce such awful porn.

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        Doesn't Japan have some weird laws dealing with what porn may and may not show?

        1. Jordan   11 years ago

          Other than the blurring of genitalia, I'm not aware of anything. Wouldn't surprise me though.

          1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

            Blurred Genitalia would be a great name for a band

            1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

              Playing their smash hit "Pixellated Hoohah"!

              1. SugarFree   11 years ago

                I approve. Swiss Servator is my designated stand-in while I'm away next week.

    3. waffles   11 years ago

      Isn't this kind of like asking if you want women to wear bras? For every woman I want to see braless there are many that should be strapped down. I put the ratio at at least 15.7 : 84.3

      1. T   11 years ago

        You've spent a lot of time on this to get down to the tenth. Well done!

    4. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

      I'm not Japanese, but yeah, it's gross. Wear an undershirt.

      1. hamilton   11 years ago

        QUIT SLUTSHAMING US NIKKI.

    5. lap83   11 years ago

      Men's nipples through clothes are always disturbing. Exhibit A: Batman & Robin

      If young George Clooney can't get away with it, nobody can.

  15. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Major League Baseball's chief operations officer, Rob Manfred, was selected as baseball's newest commissioner.

    Let's see if he's blinded by the light from the instant replay monitors.

    1. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

      Or if he's revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night

      1. F. Stupidity, Jr.   11 years ago

        Or if he's revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night

        You misspelled "douche".

        1. gaijin   11 years ago

          You misspelled "douche".

          hah! That's what I always heard when that song played

    2. toolkien   11 years ago

      I was hoping for Harvey Manfredjinsinjin myself...

      1. Reverend Mayhem   11 years ago

        My father was in the Secret Service, Mr. Manfredjinsinjin, and I know perfectly well that you don't keep the general public informed when you are debriefing KGB defectors in a safe house.

  16. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

    After setting sail a month ago, an old boat full of taxidermied animals has arrived inside Shanghai's Power Station of Art.

    1. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

      So The Stones are on tour again?

      1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

        *applause*

      2. sarcasmic   11 years ago

        This time it's the Steel Wheelchair Tour.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

          I've come to your geriatric rescue...

          1. Jerryskids   11 years ago

            Paint it black, then get the hell off my lawn.

            1. Jerryskids   11 years ago

              (The "hey, hey, you, you, get offa my lawn" was too obvious.)

        2. PD Scott   11 years ago

          "Start me up! No, really, get the defibrillator!"

          1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

            "Let's take a nap together"

            "Here comes your 19th hip replacement"

            "You can't always chew what you want"

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Shanghai's Power Station of Art.

      Some Rike It Hot

      1. hamilton   11 years ago

        No nipples = Japan-approved!

      2. $park? has had enough   11 years ago

        Lacist!

  17. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    a friend of Epi?

    Seattle Woman, 33, Arrested After "Humping" Lawn Chairs, Exposing Self

    After grinding on the lawn chairs, Hans allegedly "exposed her vagina," and then "smacked" her genitals "with her hand multiple times." Additionally, the witnesses reported that Hans relieved herself on the lawn and "bent over and exposed her bottom."

    Cops who confronted Hans reported that she was "extremely intoxicated" and "displaying erratic behavior." She was "wearing a short dress with no underwear," noted Officer Nicolas Olsen, who arrested Hans for indecent exposure.

    oh wait, Epi doesn't have any friends

    1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

      "The Seattle Lawn Chair Humper"

      Not exactly right up their with Son of Sam, Jack the Ripper or the Zodiac Killer.

      1. Spoonman.   11 years ago

        Same caliber as the Philadelphia Swiss Cheese Pervert, though.

  18. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

    Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Al-Maliki, meanwhile, finally agreed to hand over power to his nominated successor.

    He's decided he'd rather not be around when ISIS gets there with their neck-chopping swords.

    1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

      Heading to Southern France with a few suitcases of cash did suddenly appeal quite a bit more.

  19. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Scientists at Harvard have developed miniature robots that can swarm by the thousands...

    Matt Drudge is ready to post subtly racist links when they converge on a convenience store.

  20. Obama's Buttplug   11 years ago

    FBI: 80 Percent Of Police Officers Are Overweight

    1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      Does that count the roided up ones?

      1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

        If they end up with "Barry Bonds Head", yes.

  21. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    'It's hurtful': Online spat breaks out over Facebook page ridiculing Iowa State Fair-goers as locals call for removal

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....moval.html

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      I wonder what they'd think of the Will Rogers version of State Fair

  22. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Ferguson's Imaginary Gun Problem

    In this situation, it was the state that behaved as if it had been deployed for war, not the majority of protestors. Most civilians don't use guns recklessly in these situations (or any, for that matter) for reasons of self-preservation and more vitally ? and this may surprise some people ? because most people have absolutely no desire to shoot at the police. Even protesting civilians. Even angry protesting civilians.

    So a more appropriate observation might be: Isn't it amazing that in a country with over 250 million guns in circulation, violent political protests are almost nonexistent?

    1. Zeb   11 years ago

      most people have absolutely no desire to shoot at the police

      Or at least have the good sense to realize that it will work out very poorly for them if they do.

  23. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Al-Maliki, meanwhile, finally agreed to hand over power to his nominated successor.

    He's taken the position of the new prime minister of ISIS.

  24. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    This Queasy Love: How Having Frequent Diarrhea as a Child Shapes Your Adult Mate Choice

    The basic idea is easy enough to follow: recurring childhood experiences with illness (and here, we're talking diarrhea) stamp an indelible warning upon a developing human brain: You're lucky to get out of your childhood alive in this disease-ridden place with those flimsy genes of yours; your offspring may not be so fortunate. Actually, it's not so much a stamp as it is a neurocognitive tweak, one that equips you with a cognitive bias uniquely tailored to the deleterious context in which you live?and into which you're children will probably also be born. This would have been especially true, the researchers argue, under conditions in which rates of communicable diseases (or "pathogen stress" in the official jargon) remained fairly stable across time. Predictable cycles of viral infection go hand-in-hand with cultural and geographical aspects that endure over many generations in circumscribed human populations, involving factors such as food-preparation practices, water source, religious rituals, outsider contacts, weather patterns, hygiene standards, and so on.

    1. waffles   11 years ago

      "That's nice," you're probably saying to yourself. "But where does diarrhea come into it?" I thought you'd never ask.

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Actually, it's not so much a stamp as it is a neurocognitive tweak, one that equips you with a cognitive bias uniquely tailored to the deleterious context in which you live?and into which you're children will probably also be born.

      How does not recognizing the difference between "your" and "you're" affect one's mate choice?

      1. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

        You are children. You are the world.

        1. Zeb   11 years ago

          You are the one who makes a brighter day.

  25. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    The State Highway Patrol has assumed responsibility for monitoring the protests and is also overseeing the local police force.

    I have a feeling that Highway Patrol captain is going to be getting a lot of job offers after this.

  26. Los Doyers   11 years ago

    Well, here I am, actually awake for these links. So....................PENIS.

  27. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Barack Obama's 'vacation from hell'

    On the eve of his departure late last week, Obama authorized airstrikes in Iraq to beat back Islamist militants from committing genocide. Then as he wrapped up his first round of golf on the Massachusetts island Saturday night, The Atlantic interview with Hillary Clinton hit the Web, sparking days of speculation about the fraying Clinton-Obama relationship.

    The White House thought it might get beyond the frenzy du jour on Wednesday night when it released much-anticipated details of their interaction at a birthday party ? they toasted the guest of honor and even sat close to each other!

    But by midnight, as protests over a fatal police shooting in Ferguson, Missouri, spun out of control, a White House spokesman posted on Twitter that Obama had been briefed on the situation. And early Thursday afternoon, Obama was back in front of the cameras, delivering his fourth statement on chaotic world events since his vacation began.

    poor guy just can't seem to catch a break!

    1. Jordan   11 years ago

      Awwwww, his half-dozenth taxpayer funded vacation of the year might be cut short. How does the poor guy manage?

      1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

        Golf therapy.

        1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

          So golf possesses healing properties? No wonder so many doctors play it!

      2. gaijin   11 years ago

        The world disappoints him repeatedly.

        1. T   11 years ago

          The feeling is decidedly mutual.

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      "Vacation from hell" = "Week alone with Michelle"

    3. Rhywun   11 years ago

      His annus horribilis.

  28. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Putin to Meet Finnish President as Threat of Cold War Grows

    Finnish President Sauli Niinistoe will meet with Russia's Vladimir Putin today in an effort to defuse tensions he said risk dragging the world into a new cold war.

    The two will meet in the southern Russian town of Sochi following an invitation from Putin first made a year ago, Niinistoe told reporters in Helsinki yesterday. The encounter will mark Putin's first meeting with a European leader or head of state since he spoke with German ChancellorAngela Merkel in Brazil during the World Cup in July.

    You know who else once met with the Finnish president?

    1. F. Stupidity, Jr.   11 years ago

      Benjamin Disraeli?

    2. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      Fellow bathers at the sauna?

    3. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

      Selina Meyer?

    4. BardMetal   11 years ago

      Will they be raising wooden pints?

      1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

        Full of Thompson's Water Seal?

        1. BardMetal   11 years ago

          Not a Korpiklaani fan?

          1. Ted S.   11 years ago

            Full of salmiakki-flavored vodka.

    5. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Bloomberg can't hanlde the ??

      Seriously, in this dayand age of computerization, I don't understand why websites won't handle ISO-8859-1(5) (or some other coding scheme if the website is dealing with, say, Eastern Europe).

    6. lap83   11 years ago

      Conan O'Brien?

  29. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    from the prev post:

    A Cop Is Killed Every 58 Hours
    Law-enforcement officers across the country risk their lives every day.

    The National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund (NLEOMF) reports that a total of 1,501 law-enforcement officers died in the line of duty during the past ten years, an average of one death every 58 hours, or 150 per year. These include local and state police officers, federal officers, correctional officers, and military law-enforcement officers.

    Fact: Last year, 100 law-enforcement officers were killed. On average, over the past decade, there have been 58,261 assaults against law enforcement each year, resulting in 15,658 injuries.

    Fact: New York City has lost more officers in the line of duty than any other department, with 697 deaths. Texas has lost 1,675 officers, more than any other state.

    1. Jordan   11 years ago

      Malkin... sigh. Is she including traffic accidents?

      1. Zeb   11 years ago

        Yes.

      2. Ted S.   11 years ago

        Most of which were caused by the cops, I presume.

    2. trshmnster the terrible   11 years ago

      I can hear the slurping sound from here. Somebody get a towel, this is gonna be a messy one!

      1. Jordan   11 years ago

        I have those fantasies about Michelle Malkin too.

        1. Idle Hands   11 years ago

          Find me a cisgender man who doesn't, and I'll show you a liar.

          1. BardMetal   11 years ago

            What on Earth does the word cisgender mean?

            1. WTF   11 years ago

              It means 'normal', stated in a way that tries to make it seem 'abnormal' or just another kink.

            2. Ted S.   11 years ago

              "Cis" is the opposite of "trans".

            3. Idle Hands   11 years ago

              Trust me you don't want to know, as it will ruin your already bleak outlook on humanity.

          2. Zeb   11 years ago

            Gay men are generally cisgender. Come on, get your ridiculous PC gender terms straight!

            1. F. Stupidity, Jr.   11 years ago

              I think his point was that even gay men fantasize about Michelle Malkin.

              1. Idle Hands   11 years ago

                No Zeb is right I am a terrible naval gazer.

              2. Rhywun   11 years ago

                Um, no.

          3. ant1sthenes   11 years ago

            Are you misusing the term just to annoy me and thereby prove that there's a little SJW in me? Or is there a darker purpose?

    3. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      No mention of the fact that Police Rolls are grossly bloated with perople. Go for fatalies per 1000 people, and compare with other jobs. Copdom is safe.

      1. WTF   11 years ago

        Cops are not even in the top 20 for on the job mortality. Even sanitation workers have a higher mortality rate than cops.

    4. F. Stupidity, Jr.   11 years ago

      Law-enforcement officers across the country risk their lives every day.

      ...despite signing up for a job with no apparent risks.

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        They risk our lives too, but don't give a shit about that.

    5. Ed   11 years ago

      This list includes cops who die in accidents, including those where they were at fault, heart attack (if it was on shift), and even electrocution (yes this happened). They shouldn't be surprise that when they try to muddle the issue and make every DoC officer who had a heart attack while working at the jail as some hero who "died in the line of duty," people become even more skeptical of their profession

      1. BardMetal   11 years ago

        So if I do some research, and find out a lot of people die in my line of work, will the feds send me an APC, and some other military hardware too?

        1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

          My old profession had lots of people die in the line of duty, and we had all that military stuff...

          1. T   11 years ago

            I haven't looked at the per capita stats lately, but last time I checked garbageman was a more dangerous job than cop. Just a handy factoid next time this 'thin blue line' crap comes up IRL.

            1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

              Commercial fisherman, lumberjack both spring to mind as way more dangerous than cop.

              1. WTF   11 years ago

                Those are actually one and two on the list for on the job mortality rate. Caps don't even make the top 20.

                1. WTF   11 years ago

                  'Caps'='Cops'

            2. Zeb   11 years ago

              From Forbes.com:

              1. Logging workers
              2. Fishers and related fishing workers
              3. Aircraft pilot and flight engineers
              4. Roofers
              5. Structural iron and steel workers
              6. Refuse and recyclable material collectors
              7. Electrical power-line installers and repairers
              8. Drivers/sales workers and truck drivers
              9. Farmers, ranchers, and other agricultural managers
              10. Construction laborers

              Cops don't even make the top 10. And I am pretty sure they don't come close to the top of jobs where you are likely to be murdered either.

      2. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

        And add bagpipes, huge funeral and thumbsucker articles in the local paper.

    6. BardMetal   11 years ago

      A cop is killed every 58 hours... and this matters why exactly?

      1. RBS   11 years ago

        It should be a cop dies every 58 hours, but it still doesn't really matter.

      2. Shirley Knott   11 years ago

        The death rate for cops is exactly the same as it is for everyone else.
        100%
        1 death per person, same as it ever was.

        1. F. Stupidity, Jr.   11 years ago

          Cowards have a much higher death rate than the valiant, according to Shakespeare.

    7. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

      I'd click on the link but I'm afraid the bagpipe music would auto load. And I'm not in the mood for that shit.

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        Watch out, UCS is going to come after you.

        1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

          AND I WILL HELP HIM!

    8. $park? has had enough   11 years ago

      Fucking statistics, how do they work? Every person who makes a statement like this should be killed for the good of humanity.

    9. hamilton   11 years ago

      an average of one death every 58 hours, or 150 per year.

      Number of people killed by police in 2012: 426. Or one death every 20 hours. Just for comparison.

      1. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

        But like, those were probably people up to no good.
        -p1

        1. Jordan   11 years ago

          But like, those were probably obviously people up to no good.
          -p1

    10. Brian D   11 years ago

      http://www.nleomf.org/facts/of.....auses.html

      548 were shot
      434 were from car crashes
      186 were from job-related illnesses
      136 were struck by a vehicle
      No other category at or above 100 deaths in ten years. The highest was 70 motorcycle crashes.

      How many innocents were killed by police actions over the last ten years, Michelle?

      1. Zeb   11 years ago

        I wonder how many of the 548 shot were shot by other cops? Given their propensity to empty their guns at any perceived threat, I imagine there must be some.

    11. Brett L   11 years ago

      The National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund (NLEOMF) reports that a total of 1,501 law-enforcement officers died in the line of duty during the past ten years, an average of one death every 58 hours, or 150 per year. These include local and state police officers, federal officers, correctional officers, and military law-enforcement officers.

      Fact: Last year, 100 law-enforcement officers were killed.

      Uh, one of these things is not like the other.

  30. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Police: Man drags stolen safe behind car, arrested after passing officer

    Investigators said 22-year-old Ryan Mullins, of Swansboro, smashed in a window at the pharmacy's drive-through to enter the building. Mullins then tied a nylon rope around a 100-pound safe containing prescription drugs and drove about two miles with the safe dragging behind his vehicle, Swansboro Police said.

    By 7:30 a.m. Tuesday, a Swansboro police officer pulled out in front of Mullins and saw in his rear view mirror that there was something swinging behind Mullins' vehicle, investigators said. The police officer pulled over to let Mullins pass, then saw the safe being dragged. The officer immediately pulled Mullins over.

    1. tarran   11 years ago

      Ah yes the advanced crime detection technique called "looking out the window"....

      That was the technique the chief of police of the town of Armonk NY used to detect Dave Barry when he was passed out on the chief's lawn many years ago.

  31. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

    Remember when the NYPD cops claimed a person ran into their parked car, fell backwards and died from hitting his head (even though all evidence and witnesses said they ran over him)? And when they sent his mother a bill for $710 to repair their cruiser?

    Well, they've (rather,the taxpayers have) paid out $2M in what their legal department calls a "fair settlement". And nothing else happened.

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelli.....llion.html

    1. trshmnster the terrible   11 years ago

      THIN BLUE LINEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

      THEY SACRIFICE SO MUCH AND PUT THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE FOR YOU!!

      /official press release from NYPD

    2. BardMetal   11 years ago

      What kind of psychopath sends a mother a bill after killing their son?

      1. Jordan   11 years ago

        The State.

      2. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

        All I can think,of,is the Chinese government,the NoRK government...and the NYPD.

        Maybe, just maybe, Saddam did while he was still around. But I'm not sure if even he was as psychotic as the NYPD

      3. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

        A psychopathic psychopath?

    3. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

      Former Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes opened an investigation into the crash shortly after it happened, but, so far, the inquiry hasn't led to any consequences for the NYPD.

      As if it ever will.

  32. Jensen   11 years ago

    The peasants petition the King to control his Men-At-Arms.

    1. WTF   11 years ago

      If only comrade Stalin knew about this!

  33. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

    New Jersey cop violently assaults woman at courthouse,mid only charged with misdemeanors (even though it was all on video) and is fined $125 and cannot work as a cop again.* taxpayers hardest hit.

    http://www.thedailyjournal.com...../13669977/

    Nothing else happens.

    *Until his union gets to arbitrate his case once his probation period ends.

    1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

      Do you think he'll get back pay when he's rehired?

  34. Warren   11 years ago

    Scientists at Harvard have developed miniature robots that can swarm by the thousands, displaying how simple complex self-organizing behavior can be.

    Did you mean"...how complex, simple self-organizing behavior..."

    1. BardMetal   11 years ago

      Isn't this how the Geth were created?

    2. Zeb   11 years ago

      I think the sentence needs more words in either case to really say what it wants to say.

  35. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

    Oklahoma cop accused of raping a motorist. Is given a vacation.

    But don't worry,his boss says he'll look into it and won't tolerate it.

    http://www.kjrh.com/news/local.....le-on-duty

    1. BardMetal   11 years ago

      He'll just say he was looking for hidden drugs in her vag or something.

      1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

        Meat probing for "contraband"

        1. $park? has had enough   11 years ago

          Cuntraband.

          1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

            Nice.

  36. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    on an unrelated note - I've been buying lots of uncleaned Roman coins. They're still pretty cheap. A bit of fun for the kids too.
    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wi....._coins.jpg

    Cleaning methods vary. Nah, they aren't very valuable but it is cool to hold an object that is 1600-1700 years old and was used every day to purchase slaves food and whatnot.

    Also started buying Silver American Eagle coins - in fairly small qtys so far. Just a little backstop if the world goes to shit.

    1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      Those low denomination coins were never used for the slave trade. You don't want the slave you can buy for a few fols.

      1. T   11 years ago

        What, they didn't make change? All prices in whole denarii?

        1. Swiss Servator, spare a franc?   11 years ago

          2 talents of silver for that exotic Gaul slave girl!

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Watch out for the ones that are dated BC.

    3. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

      I have a few Roman coins--very cool.

    4. BakedPenguin   11 years ago

      That's pretty cool. I didn't realize there were so many still available.

      1. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

        Ebay - search under "Roman coin lot".

        Generally speaking you get what you pay for. The coins that don't have a lot of detail generally won't even after cleaning.

    5. Raymond Q. Smuckles   11 years ago

      I bought a bunch of those when I was teaching middle-school Latin. I gave them out as prizes, and the kids really appreciated the tangible link to history.

  37. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Under siege? Actor Steven Seagal tours Russian arms fair days after concert in newly-annexed Crimea

    Action star Seagal inspected rifles, pistols and machine guns at exhibiton
    Oboronexpo-2014 event was held near Moscow and featured tank displays
    Seagal met Russian deputy prime minister Dmitry Rogozin at the event
    Had just finished fending off criticism after playing music in annexed Crimea
    Performed 'old-fashioned blues' in Sevastopol to separatists on Sunday

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....rimea.html
    Playing in a concert? Er, what?

    1. PD Scott   11 years ago

      He is a man of many talents, martial artist, "actor", LEO, musician...

  38. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

    You say "discretion", I say "double-standard". Let's call the whole thing off.

    Cop gets three day mini-vacation for letting other cop who was twice the legal limit skate on DUI. Offending officer was pulled over later by state trooper and charged.

    But they hold themselves to a higher standard than "civilians". That's what dunphy said.

    http://www.wkyc.com/story/news...../13629515/

    1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      Higher standard of Proof, Sloopy. Higher standard of proof.

  39. tarran   11 years ago

    Former staffer of Ted Kennedy found murdered in a suitcase in the trunk of cab in Bali. Her daughter and the daughter's boyfriend who were observed putting the trunk into the cab, and then fleeing are likely to be charged with capital murder.

    He added that other evidence included fingerprints on the silver suitcase in which her body was found and the fact that the couple had fled out through the rear part of the hotel after depositing the suitcase in a waiting taxi.
    Police allege the pair had also used Mrs Mack's credit card to pay for their room at the Risata Bali resort and spa, a short distance from the airport, where they were arrested on Wednesday.
    The pair told investigators that von Wiese-Mack was killed by robbers while they managed to escape, the police chief for Bali's provincial capital of Denpasar, Col. Djoko Hari Utomo said.
    ...
    Back in the U.S., where all three lived in an upscale Chicago suburb, authorities examined records of 86 incidents in which police were called to the family's home.
    The calls started in 2004 and ended in June 2013, around the time the family moved out, according to village of Oak Park spokesman David Powers.
    The bulk of the calls were missing-person reports, and others included domestic problems and theft, but none resulted in arrests, he said.

    Lovely.

    1. Idle Hands   11 years ago

      Should have just driven the car into a local body of water, isn't that how this is supposed to be done? Oh, that only works if your a Kennedy, my bad.

      1. Jensen   11 years ago

        "Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys!"

    2. Jordan   11 years ago

      So Ted even manages to snuff 'em out from beyond the grave. I wonder if witnesses heard the daughter mysteriously speaking with a Haaaavaaaad accent prior to the killing.

  40. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

    Florida cop in embattled department will just be suspended after sexually assaulting a 16 year old (by kissing her against her will on multiple occasions). I guess he was just such a good cop that they had to keep him...although he will no longer be a part of the Explorer,program that works with area youths.

    Or,maybe they kept him because they're short-staffed after one cop offed himself and another resigned after they were to be arrested for raping a woman at a party.

    http://www.heraldtribune.com/a...../140809752

    1. Jordan   11 years ago

      one cop offed himself

      Progress. But what the hell was the guy thinking? If he actually thought he was going to get into any sort of trouble, he's even dumber than the average baboon cop.

      1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

        They get into trouble when they do things out of uniform. But when they've got that uniform on they can rape, pillage and plunder to their hearts' content.

  41. Sevo   11 years ago

    Judge calls enviros on most of their BS:

    "Judge dismisses most of a suit against EPA pesticide approvals"
    http://www.sfgate.com/default/.....689391.php

  42. Sevo   11 years ago

    Guy finds something in the ground; the government hasn't stolen it! (yet):

    "Man pulls 73 kg mammoth tusk out of Alaska river 22 years after mother found ancient elephant fossil"
    [...]
    "Andrew Harrelson found the three-and-a-half-metre fossilized tusk on Sunday in a bend of the Fish River near his home village of White Mountain about 100 kilometres east of Nome, the Alaska Dispatch News reported Wednesday.
    [...]
    Prospective buyers have been calling Harrelson to inquire about the tusk. The couple want to buy a home in Nome.
    "I'm pretty sure he's going to try to use the money for down payment for a house," Daniel Harrelson said."
    http://news.nationalpost.com/2.....nt-fossil/

  43. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

    This is my last AM Links for a while. I'll be back from my hike in mid-September. Talk to you assholes later. Please keep fighting the alt-text fight in my absence!

    1. EDG reppin' LBC   11 years ago

      Have fun, be safe, and most importantly; have fun!

    2. tarran   11 years ago

      You'll be back?

      How?

      Bear poop is incapable of using the Internet.

      1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

        I've never realized how much people are scared of the woods until I was planning this trip.

    3. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

      beware of STEVE SMITH

    4. hamilton   11 years ago

      Be safe. Let us know if you need an emergency monocle airlift. Or food, I guess. Have a blast.

      1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

        I do have extra motivation to walk quickly: I'll probably have to watch the Miami game a day late.

    5. Brett L   11 years ago

      Good luck. And remember, shitting yourself and hoping you smell too bad to eat is apparently a poor strategy for dealing with bear attacks.

    6. Tonio   11 years ago

      Have fun and good luck, Auric.

  44. robc   11 years ago

    The wife gave me some early bday gifts last: a bomber of Stone RuinTen and 2 bottles of Bells Mars.

    1. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

      you sound drunk already

      1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

        Nobody was drunk before noon back when Postrel was in charge!

      2. robc   11 years ago

        Havent touched them yet. Going to have the RuinTen tonight. 22oz of 10.8% abv.

        1. robc   11 years ago

          Equivalent to 3.96 12 ouncers of 5% abv. Not crazy.

  45. amir   11 years ago

    I heard a lot about Robert Paulson, one of the good guys.

  46. avner   10 years ago

    Florida police found new leads in connection with the shooting of Michael Brown. The local police does not exclude information on the subject to prevent demonstrations in New York City residents.
    http://www.betweenthewallss.02.....rc=1253408

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