Brickbat: If You Have Nothing to Hide

The FBI and other law enforcement agencies stopped all vehicles entering and leaving Armada, Michigan, recorded their license plate numbers and marked the hands of their occupants with an X. The blockade was apparently part of an investigation into the recent disappearance of a teenage girl.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

No, it's so they could get back into the club that is Armada, Michigan.

[antisocial-ist]

Maybe they were all too young to drink.

[Florida Man]

I would be fine with a check point for an abducted person if it was a quick question and a peek in the window, but why write down all the license plates?

[UnCivilServant]

Because it's not about the excuse. They're doing it because they can.

And by quick question, do you mean: "Excuse me ma'am, do you by chance have an abductee in your trunk?"

[WTF]

"Trunk? No, not in the trunk."

[Florida Man]

Basically have you seen anything strange? It it is a mom with kids wave them through. If it is a sweaty, twitchy guy, ask a few more in depth questions. Ask to see in the trunk. Listen for muffled cries.

[UnCivilServant]

Don't you know the old saying "The family that slays together stays together?" I wouldn't rule out the soccer moms.

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

Stop othering sweaty, twitchy guys

[Florida Man]

A sweaty, twitchy guy slept with my mom and I've had it out for ALL of them since then.

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

Well, you are from Florida. Sweaty and twitchy seems to be the norm in most of the state.

[UnCivilServant]

Anyone in Florida who isn't sweating is a lizard person.

[Florida Man]

Yeah...
/splashes cup of water on self to appear sweaty

[mr lizard]

Yes but we make up for it by being extra twitchy

[Ted S.]

That's some way to treat your father.

[GroundTruth]

Hey America, had enough yet?

[WTF]

Apparently not.

[John Galt]

Not at all. We're just getting started.

[Doctor Whom]

The police action comes one week after two joggers found the body of 14-year-old April Millsap in a drainage ditch with her dog, Penny, a border collie she'd left to walk on the Macomb Orchard Trail hours earlier, standing guard. [emphasis added]

Um ... okay.

Anyone who is not paranoid and wants to help a catch a child killer should comply. If you don't have anything to hide, I am going to guess you will be fine....

Sweet baby Baphomet, I beseech Thee, let that be trolling or sarcasm, not what that person actually believes.

[antisocial-ist]

Given the timing here I think what's happening is this.

The cops can't find their ass with both hands, and they know it. They have no leads, no suspects, nothing. But people in the community are shocked/scared/outraged. They demand the cops "do something". Cops being the clueless ass hats that they are couldn't come up with anything better than this.

[WTF]

Probably a pretty good guess.
"We have to do something. This is something."

[Atanarjuat]

Bingo.

[Geoff Nathan]

+1
People near there (like the whole of Michigan) are indeed freaked out by this murder, so the Monty Python line applies perfectly. But you left out the last sentence:
"Therefore it must be done."
And it was.
It's kinda like the random backpack checks in the NY Subway. Apparently some people went out of their way to show the cops their backpacks. (h.t. to Bruce Schneier for that info.) Derpitude all round.

[Robert]

Oh, you want us to do something, huh? OK, we're going to make your lives hell.

[Ted S.]

Obviously she was killed by a cop, since they're the only ones who would kill the dog, too.

[Auric Demonocles]

I got the impression the dog was alive, since it was standing guard.

[Bean Counter]

That's right, the dog is alive, which exonerates the cops. Of the murder, not of being overpaid, useless ass-hats.

[Doghouse Reilly]

COMPLY. OBEY. THE INNOCENT HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR.

[WTF]

OT: "Obama just decimated the freakin' Constitution, so I don't give a damn. If he doesn't follow the Constitution, we don't have to," responds the cop, brazenly violating the oath he swore to uphold the Constitution.

[Doctor Whom]

Some of the commenters are blaming the Koch brothers or anarchy. We shall never reach Peak Derp.

[WTF]

James ? 6 minutes ago

can you hear me ? 2002 THE GOP GAVE BUSH UNLIMITED POWER ! NOW MAKE FALSE CLAIMS AGAINST PRESIDENT OBAMA ! HE CAN USE THOSE SAME POWERS THE GOP CONGRESS GAVE BUSH !!! THE COUNTRY IS RECOVERING POOR PEOPLE EVEN HAVE AFFORDABLE ACCESS TO INSURANCE ! IF THEY CAN HAND $ 2,25 BILLION TO ISRAEL THEY CAN SPEND THE SAME ON AMERICANS FOR MEDICAL INSURANCE !!!!!!!!!

Yup, peak derp is impossible.

[Lord Humungus]

Someday we will reach the Peak Derp Horizon Event, and then the world will collapse into a black hole of hurr-de-durr.

[SugarFree]

tulpa thinks this is a great idea.

[WTF]

tulpa thinks...

Um, no.

[Lord Humungus]

and Rollo - lol.

[SugarFree]

"They" have their lube out, just waiting for one of these offenders to make a furtive movement.

Imagine if the cops get to shoot up a food truck. He'd probably jizz so hard his nuts would spurt out of his tiny, crooked dick.

[perlhaqr]

*takes a super-sized swig from the bottle of brain bleach*

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

It's the Tulpa Safety Dance

[WTF]

tul-tul-tul-tul
pa-pa-pa-pa
dance-dance-dance-dance

[Pope Jimbo]

The Tulpa Safety Search?

I say, we can search, we can search
Everything's out of control
We can search, we can search
We're doing it from prole to prole
We can search, we can search
Everybody look in your cars
We can search, we can search
Everybody's taking the cavity search

[Auric Demonocles]

Where do you hide the alt-text?

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

Enver Hoxa's security apparatus took it!

[The Late P Brooks]

J Edgar Hoover would be proud.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

"...I am going to guess you will be fine...."

Guess?

[BigT]

...marked the hands of their occupants with an X

Should use numbers like good Nazis.... er ... Government Heroes.