A.M. Links: Senate Seeks to Limit NSA Spying, Boehner Refuses to Impeach Obama, Ebola Outbreak Worsens


Credit: White House / Flicker.com
  • House Speaker John Boehner has flatly refused to bring impeachment charges against President Barack Obama. "We have no plans to impeach the president. We have no future plans," Boehner declared.
  • A hospital in Germany has agreed to accept an Ebola patient from West Africa after receiving a special request to do so from the World Health Organization. To date, the current Ebola outbreak has killed more than 670 people.
  • "Israel killed at least 19 Palestinians sheltering in a school in Gaza's biggest refugee camp on Wednesday, a U.N. official said, as Egyptian mediators prepared a revised proposal to try to halt more than three weeks of fighting."
  • The general counsel of the National Labor Relations Board has ruled that the McDonald's Corporation may be held jointly liable in labor complaints made against its franchise operators. "This decision will have huge implications," labor lawyer Paul Millus told The Wall Street Journal. "It could make it possible for franchise workers to overcome the obstacle that the bargaining unit is limited to workers in single stores, making it much easier to unionize."

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  1. The U.S. Senate is seeking to place major limits on NSA surveillance.

    And by that we mean increase domestic spying.

    1. Who watches the Watchmen?

      1. A lot of people. It grossed $185 MM.

        1. Blue dick seems to sell in this country.

          1. Yeah, but only BIG blue dick

        2. I didn’t get very far into it when my wife was ready to turn to something else. I didn’t complain.

    2. increase domestic spying

      So, they can tell me the exact time and date when the kids have raided the cabinets for all the snacks

      1. No way in hell gop impeaches first black president.

        1. No idea how this ended up here instead of below.

    3. Hello.

      Impeaching Obama would be pure insanity. Why would they give that guy any ammunition? Just look at how he’s working it at the very idea of being impeached.

      1. If he unilaterally gives amnesty to the recent influx of refugees as has been the theory floated, if they didn’t it would mean the end of the republic.

        1. Right, but impeaching does nothing. It’s more of a ‘a-ha!’ and then nothing happens. Isn’t that how it went down with Clinton?

          1. pretty much.

          2. The Clinton circus morphed from “did he commit perjury under oath” to “is getting a clandestine blowjob from that gold-digging whore, Lewinski.. an impeachable offence?”, largely with the help of a complicit media. Ken Star should of been road hauled for fucking that case up soooo badly..

            1. What, precisely, was Starr’s fuck-up, in your world?

          3. Most people in the electorate don’t understand that fact though, sadly most people don’t even know that Clinton was impeached.

          4. Given the current make of the Senate, that would be the case. After the election, and an appropriate smoking gun, An impeachment could concievably be carried through to its end.

            President Joe Biden.

            If that doesn’t make your leg tingle, you are devoid of human emotion.

            1. Starting to sound better and better

            2. At least Biden would be good for a few laughs.

        2. News Flash:

          The republic has been dead for 70+ years.

          Tradition and inertia just kept the old form rumbling along, but Wickard and Korematsu clearly meant the end of constitutional limits on government power.

        3. Impeach him after the election.

          1. Now, *that’s* “compromise”.

  2. The U.S. has struck a $700 million dollar deal to sell 5,000 Hellfire missiles to Iraq.

    Which will promptly be seized by ISIS as the Iraqi army runs away.

    1. Yeah, what could possibly go wrong?

    2. This makes no damn sense. I looked on wikipedia and a couple of other places, and the estimates for the cost of a Hellfire missile run from about $60,000 to $110,000. Because I’m lazy, I’ll use $100,000 as a cost, multiply that by 5,000 and you get 500,000,000. So, what’s the other $200 million for? I think they are getting something other than missiles. Maybe stuff to launch them with? Special Gucci slings for fashionably carrying them?

      1. Graft for the delivery contractor.

      2. They are paying a premium to avoid background checks.

      3. They come in a really nice gold-plated case.

        1. Next week will be the announcement on the 50 Apache/Kiowa Warrior/Predator platform sale in order for the Iraqi military to be able to fire these ASMs.

      4. And the Iraqi government has $700 million to spend?

        1. Oil money and tourism, of course.

  3. The U.S. has struck a $700 million dollar deal to sell 5,000 Hellfire missiles to Iraq.

    I wonder who they’ll be firing those at.

    1. Just think of all the bombs we’ll have to buy for the next war. Need to make sure the other guy is well armed so the MIC can sell us more stuff to defeat them.

  4. Howdy!

    National and International Cats to Dogs ratios.

    Best eating joke gets a gold star.

    1. I’ll bite, it’s a cat eat dog world?

    2. A young Korean couple were lying in bed when the husband farted. The smell was so atrocious that the new wife couldn’t help but blurt out “That’s horrible!”

      The husband replied, “It was the dog.”

      The wife immediately retorted “That’s impossible. I cooked him perfectly!”

    3. But cat ladies skew the whole analysis.

    4. Not following your parameters, but…

      Areas with more cats have cops with better aim?

    5. I love dogs…

      but cats are easier to take care of. And if you get the “right” cat, they can be quite engaging little beasts.

  5. Some more of this garbage, but now Salonified:

    Secrets of the right-wing brain: New study proves it ? conservatives see a different, hostile world

    Conservative fears of nonexistent or overblown boogeymen ? Saddam’s WMD, Shariah law, voter fraud, Obama’s radical anti-colonial mind-set, Benghazi, etc. ? make it hard not to see conservatism’s prudent risk avoidance as having morphed into a state of near permanent paranoia, especially fueled by recurrent “moral panics,” a sociological phenomenon in which a group of “social entrepreneurs” whips up hysterical fears over a group of relatively powerless “folk devils” who are supposedly threatening the whole social order. Given that conservatism seems to be part of human nature ? just as liberalism is ? we’re going to need all the help we can get in figuring out how to live with it, without being dominated, controlled and crippled by it.

    1. War on women, Kochtopus, Citizens United, Teabagging racists, etc. etc.


      1. Not to mention their pants-shitting fear over innovations like Uber, Airbnb, etc. Oh, and their hysteria over people leaving their children unattended for 1 microsecond, or people owning guns, or TEH KOCHTOPUS.

        1. I think the kid thing cuts party lines, a third rail issue so to speak.

          1. Yeah, I haven’t seen any reason to believe that that is a particularly liberal or conservative issue. A lot of people here are a bit too eager to assume that liberals/Democrats/progressives are all of one mind.

            1. They are of one mind – greater state control on all matters. Oh, some are more focused on the environment, the poor, or racial issues, but the end game is still the same.

              1. They are of one mind – greater state control on all matters.

                I don’t think that that is true. I think it is about as sensible as saying that all libertarians are just republicans who want to smoke pot or that all conservatives want to impose a theocracy. Complete lack of subtlety and refusal to try to understand your opponents is a bad move in any debate.

        2. Fear of climate change, GMO, toy guns, and sugary drinks.

          1. And Hobby Lobby.

        3. Is it fear or protecting their friends in unions and the travel industry? I tend to think that the people who fret about the potential dangers of under-regulated ride services are just lying.

          1. It’s both. They genuinely fear anything that isn’t controlled by the government.

            1. Who is “they”? As far as I can see, there are loads of progressive city-dwellers who think Uber, etc. are wonderful services.

              1. there are loads of progressive city-dwellers who think Uber, etc. are wonderful services

                Yep. But none of them are sitting on the city council.

                1. And the city counsel doesn’t fear Uber either. They just want to protect the taxi racket.

                  Making these broad generalizations about all of “the left”, or whatever is dumb. It’s right there with Democrats convincing people that everyone who is not one of them hates women and poor people or suffers from false consciousness.

              2. As far as I can see, there are loads of progressive city-dwellers who think Uber, etc. are wonderful services.

                Even progressive city-dwellers will embrace the free market if it can get their drunk ass home.

      2. I don’t know if it is projection or just lack of self awareness. It’s something that most people do to some extent.

      3. They instantly assume ALL rich people will build massive armies and enslave those around them given a chance.

          1. No kidding. With all those unproductive takers and self-entitled goofs lurking about?

            1. I enslaved those around me and then used them as my massive army. Cheaper that way.

        1. Slavery is such a negative term, lets say provide protection in return for their undying loyalty and servcice.

    2. This is the real Salon, and not the Salondotcom Twitter parody? It’s so tough to keep the two straight.

    3. Starting off with a John Stuart Mill quote is just libertarian trolling. I’ll give them credit for that.

    4. Perhaps Democrats are actually conservatives. Check this out – most Dems take the “conservative” position on most of these issues.

      “The policy issues were “support for military spending, warrantless searches, the death penalty, the Patriot Act, obedience, patriotism, the Iraq War, school prayer, and Biblical truth; and opposition to pacifism, immigration, gun control, foreign aid, compromise, premarital sex, gay marriage, abortion rights, and pornography.””

    5. Othering. Look at that. I am Jack’s enlarged spleen.

  6. The general counsel of the National Labor Relations Board has ruled that the McDonald’s Corporation may be held jointly liable in labor complaints made against its franchise operators.

    I look forward to entering my menu choices onto a touchscreen.

      1. That was fun.

        1. seconded

      2. Question is…are those employees getting paid $15 an hour? I mean, you see what they go thru?

    1. “Welcome to Arch Screen 1.0, please enter your order below…. pick up is from the dispenser on the right.”

      1. “Karl’s Junior has determined that you are an unfit mother. Fuck you, I’m eating.”

        1. I was flipping through the channels once, and saw Idiotocracy on Comedy Central. Edited for content, of course.

          I don’t quite know what the point was of doing that.

          1. Dude, they cut out all the swear words in ‘Goodfellas.’

            I ask, how can you watch Goodfellas without hearing Joe Pesci swear like an animal?

            1. You can and it was a huge hit it’s called home alone I and II.

      2. you forgot the obligatory *BEEP*

    2. I look forward to entering my menu choices onto a touchscreen

      This really can’t be that far off.

      1. Then the NLRB will try to unionize the touchscreens. Democrat politicians will nod approvingly.

      2. It will be much better than trying to communicate with the low-skill nitwits who barely speak English and screw up your order half the time.

        1. Ordering fast food is like working with a contractor. You have to carefully communicate what you want them to do and monitor every step of the process. Be polite, but don’t be afraid to ask them to correct mistakes. Patience is key. Always know that if they screw up too badly there’s a dozen others waiting to do their job.

          1. No kidding. A big chicken chain near my house constantly fucks up orders. It’s at the point we open up all the bags and boxes before leaving whenever we go.

            1. Since he was already mentioned, see Joe Pesci, but in Lethal Weapon 3? 4?

              “You always get fucked at the drive thru!”

              1. I like his ‘they fuck you’ rant with Chris Rock about phones in 4 or 5 I think.

            2. I wonder if it ever occurs to the “raise the minimum wage” nitwits that raising the minimum wage will make hiring the low-skilled people currently occupying those jobs less likely, as the higher wage will attract better workers and end up costing the no-skill/low-skill workers their employment.

              1. Yep. If you have to pay $15/hr you either automate or hire someone who’s actually worth $15/hr.

                1. “hire someone who’s actually worth $15/hr.”

                  even a perfect order taker is probably not going to be worth that much

              2. As long as the intentions are “proper”, the results don’t matter.

              3. come on, WTF, you know the answer to that. The wage hike proponents are all about the feelz, the appearance of having done something, and as usual, ignoring the foreseeable consequences.

                1. Yeah, they will just blame the foreseeable consequences on the evil corporations.

    3. The NLRB really is straight out of Atlas Shrugged. It’s the tip of the spear, the vanguard, the harbinger of our destruction.

      1. the harbinger of our destruction.

        Not until they can assume direct control.

        1. This hurts you.

          1. I kept killing that guy’s avatars, but he wouldn’t shut up. Well, until later.

            1. Yeah. He wouldn’t shut up until I killed his ghost God-child father thing.

        2. +1 calibration

    4. I look forward to entering my menu choices onto a touchscreen.

      I may have mentioned this before, but 20 years ago when I worked in Marietta (Atlanta) I ate lunch every day at Taco Bell because it was the only place you could get in and out of quickly at lunchtime when you had a hundred thousand or so people all going to lunch at the same time.

      They had a serpentine queue with kiosks set up along the line where you put in your own order and the machine spit out a receipt telling you your total. The line was simply the line of people handing money to a single cashier while about 20 people in the back made the food. It moved fast, faster than any fast food place I’ve ever seen. Here’s some money, here’s your change, here’s your food, go away.

      I asked the manager about the system, it was a test program and the machines were made by a local company. 20 years ago, the machines did not take electronic payments and IIRC the controls were buttons beside the screen, not touchscreen, and I think the system was too expensive to be used in all but the busiest of stores. But it worked well.

      1. When I worked in Tokyo my lunch place was sort of like that. The outside of the shop had a couple of menu boards, you pressed the button for the dish you wanted and paid. The machine spit out a receipt and you brought it in gave it to a clerk who got your order.

        The shop also didn’t have any chairs. Just a bunch of skinny bar tops. You stood at it and slurped your noodles down as fast as you could and got the hell out.

      2. Royal Farms (in Maryland) works this way. Enter your sandwich/chicken/whatever order on a touchscreen, it prints out a receipt for you and an order slip for the worker, who uses it to make your food. You take your receipt to the cashier and pay. Easy and less error prone.

      3. Grocery store delis are starting to switch to this around here. You enter in your meat/cheese cuts you want, go about the rest of your shopping then come back to pick it up out of basket when you are done.

        They also do the whole order system at the massive Buc-ee’s gas stations for everything from breakfast tacos to beef jerkey to sandwiches.

  7. China Removes Crosses From Two More Churches in Crackdown

    In another sign of the authorities’ efforts to contain one of China’s fastest-growing religions, a government demolition campaign against public symbols of the Christian faith has toppled crosses at two more churches in the coastal province of Zhejiang, according to residents there.

    On Monday, public security officials in the city of Wenzhou used a crane and blowtorch to cut loose the red, 10-foot crucifix that had adorned the Longgang Township Gratitude Church, witnesses said. Unlike in previous confrontations between the police and parishioners that have unfolded in recent months, the congregants did not offer resistance.

    1. It would be more interesting if they were fucking with churches in Cracktown.

  8. “We have no plans to impeach the president. We have no future plans,” Boehner declared.

    That means he has a plan.

    1. Well, it’s not called the Stupid Party for nothing.

      1. “We have no future plans.”

        That sounded pretty final to me. I’m assuming it extends indefinitely.

        1. Does sound about right…

        2. He didn’t say they wouldn’t have plans in the future, just that they aren’t already planning to do it in the future. No point worrying about it until and unless they lock down the Senate.

          1. I wasn’t talking about “plans to impeach.” I was talking about “plans in general”. They’re just coasting.

      2. You know, I keep hearing how dumb it would be to impeach, but isn’t that conceding yet another check on power? I mean, what the heck is left?

        Obama and a good number of his officials have done many things over the years that each are impeachable offenses. But we’re so far gone than even many around here only see the political calculus and not the fact that impeachment is beyond justified at this point. Use it or lose it.

        1. If your goal is to generate a massive Democratic voter turnout in 2014, then impeachment is a great tool for doing that.

          Impeachment might be warranted, but since he won’t be convicted in Harry Reid’s personal Senate, it just generates a lot of talking points for the lickspittle media.

          1. I can see waiting until the GOP controls the Senate next year–I’ll concede that much to politics–but they won’t do it then, either. I’m afraid they won’t even impeach lower officials, which makes no sense at all.

    2. the future is now?

    3. Hopefully his plan is better than the one Ronald D. Moore had.

  9. This is a continuation of the off-topic discussion started here.

    I got back to that thread after it was pretty much abandoned by the commentariat, but the suggestion of the name Dr Rudra has stuck in my mind, and I have to ask HM if it’s all right to actually use it (as he did come up with the name). If not, I’ll find another moniker for the character that’s been developing in my mind. He gets a role in the B plot of “Dirge of Carcosa” (the third book of the series) as a villian trying to find a way to fight a grudge match against someone who’s already dead. (It’s a superhero universe, so the idea isn’t as far fetched as it might sound).

    Being of Gold/Silver age inspiration, the defining character moment for Dr Rudra in my mental draft has him playing a Pyrophone the size of a collosal pipe organ in a half-ruined gothic cathedral with acoustic weapondry turning the notes into a sonic barrage against the heroes. This is not his primary power, just a ‘softening-up’ tactic before the fight proper.

    So, Heroic Mulatto, can I use the name without having to worry about you coming to lay claim to the finished product?

    1. Carcosa? Yellow king? True detective?! Take off your mask.

      1. I wear no mask.

        Tangent –

        In his big fight scene in the first book, Masquerade was quoting “The King in Yellow”, but no one seems to have noticed. (He also partially summons a Great Old One during that fight). When deprived of his powers (by being unmasked) he goes through the lament “No mask? No mask!”

  10. University to Offer ‘Gender-Open’ Restrooms

    Northwestern University will offer “gender-open restrooms” to its students this fall.

    “We are trying to be responsive to the needs of all of our students and to be inclusive,” campus spokesman Bob Rowley said in an email to The College Fix. “This is becoming a common occurrence on campuses across the U.S.”

    At Northwestern, the two sex-segregated bathrooms to be changed will simply have their front door placards replaced to reflect the transition ? no major renovations are planned. The bathrooms are located on the third floor of the university’s main building that serves as the campus hub.

    1. Nothing is more inclusive than doing something that 90% of students will feel incredibly uncomfortable about for the sake of 0.05% feeling more comfortable.

      1. My prediction is open gendered restrooms will become women’s auxiliary restrooms. When the ladies room is full the chicks will go there and the men will keep to the shorter wait men’s room.

        1. Not to mention that the due process free response taking over many universities to accusations of sexual harassment or rape will ensure that any man using the toilet at the same time as a wymyn will be a sitting duck for false accusations.

        2. Sexual harassment attorneys: Start your billing!

    2. We are trying to be responsive to the needs of all desires of a small confused minority of our students and to be inclusive head off any potential lawsuits.

    3. They should just set up a bunch of troughs.

      1. Nope just a bunch of Korean floor toilets


        1. Bah, just let ’em use the bushes outside. Ought to be a real treat in January.

    4. At the University of Sydney’s great quadrangle there is a ladies’ loo and a unisex one, but no men’s loo as far as I could tell. Not that I went looking for one. But it is total bullshit – I’m sure plenty of blokes would like a separate space, if only to play piss games in the trough

      1. Never cross the streams

      2. I don’t think many men give a shit about the separate space as much as the fact that women take a lot longer and having to share will slow down the whole process. I bet using the urinal in the unisex bathroom will be discouraged.

        1. I bet using the urinal in the unisex bathroom will be discouraged.

          Just until they get around to removing them completely.

          1. and men will be required to sit down to pee.

    5. We had that in the 1980s at GT.

      In the basement lounge of my dorm there was only one bathroom. It had both a urinal and a couch.

      And if you were stupid enough to sit on the couch, you deserved whatever disease you got.

    6. Meh. Who cares? I lived in a coed dorm with a coed bathroom in college and everyone managed to survive.

      I guess I’m more relaxed about this than most people, but the only problem I see with non-sex-specific bathrooms is the loss of efficiency of men’s rooms.

  11. “Israel killed at least 19 Palestinians sheltering in a school in Gaza’s biggest refugee camp on Wednesday, a U.N. official said…


    1. Next up, orphanage strikes, hospital levelings and playground blastings.

      Won’t hit a single target other than those.

  12. House Speaker John Boehner has flatly refused to bring impeachment charges against President Barack Obama. “We have no plans to impeach the president. We have no future plans,” Boehner declared.

    Right politically, wrong morally. Skipping alt-text is wrong in both fields.

    1. I think Boehner is probably trying to take a little wind out of the democrats sails since they are using threat of impeachment for fundraising and get-out-the-vote. Like you said, right politically.

      1. It’s right politically for that reason but mainly because the Democrats are already in a nosedive, changing the dynamic right now would be foolish

        1. changing the dynamic right now would be foolish

          Which is why they will do it?

          1. Yeah, never count out the Stupid Party to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

      2. So do you think he will slam down an impeachment vote the moment the midterm votes are in? Or does it depend on which way the Senate goes?

        1. It would still be politically pointless. You need a 2/3 vote in the senate to convict and they aren’t going to get that.

    1. So he was above the Mendoza Line….wait, wrong sport.

  13. Hamas using tunnels to carry out hit and run raids in Israeli – an act of war.

    But the current conflict is all about 3 kidnapped and murdered kids and should be treated solely as a criminal matter.

    1. And any incursion into enemy territory is not defensive and therefore immoral.

    2. Whoa. Easy there fella. The tunnels are for food!

      So says Kmele.

    3. “using tunnels to carry out hit and run raids in Israeli – an act of war.”

      You mean during this…war?

    4. both sides at fault, no one every exonerated Hamas. But I think punishing all residents of Gaza is short-sighted and will not help to restore peace. Think what you want, I don’t care for your race-based collectivist politics. I simply am honest enough to admit that there is wrongdoing on both sides, even if not at the same level. Are you?

      1. No, the Isreali government is faultless, after all they say so and why would any libertarian have reason to not take that as good enough?

        1. hail state! hail state! lol fuck me, I must be a dirty anti-Semite, right?

          “You cannot question the Israeli state, if you do so, you are a disgusting racist piece of trash”

          “But dat Obama doh, lemme tell you about the Kenyan Muslim Socialist (KSM).. this gov’t is so corrupt…” etc/

          The mental gymnastics, they are impressive.

          1. “You cannot question the Israeli state, if you do so, you are a disgusting racist piece of trash”

            “But dat Obama doh, lemme tell you about the Kenyan Muslim Socialist (KSM).. this gov’t is so corrupt…” etc/

            The mental gymnastics, they are impressive.

            Who are you quoting? Someone here?

            1. pretty much my convo with Cyto, WTF and others (I think including you) yesterday. Also, just par for the course when talking to pro-war Israeli supporters.

      2. “But I think punishing all residents of Gaza is short-sighted and will not help to restore peace.”

        Yeah, Hamas should stop intentionally setting up command pasts and missile batteries civilian in hospitals, schools, and apartment blocs.. in order to maximize civilian casualties.. It is short-sighted and will not help to restore peace a prolonged cease-fire…

        1. again, you ppl misread. I never once said “Hamas is a beacon of freedom and should be commended”/

          My whole point is that all of Gaza is not Hamas. I think that is collectivist thinking at its worst and leads to calls for outright extermination- something the Jews should be very cognizant of, seeing as they were on the receiving end…

          1. And you misread my point… Hamas is punishing the people of Gaza, more so if not rather than Israel. Their deliberate actions are intended to maximize the misery and bloodshed of their fellow Gazans for international tongue clucking and hand wringing… The media empowers this strategy.

            1. those goddamn Israeli bombs that Hamas keeps throwing at its own people! Man! /derp

              of course Hamas is bad for Gaza, I’m saying Israel’s bombing of power stations, civilian neighborhoods etc punishes people who are Hamas as well as people who are not Hamas.

              1. And you’re apparently too fucking stupid to understand why that is Hamas’ fault.

              2. those goddamn its own people that Hamas keeps throwing at Israeli bombs! Man! /derp


      3. Are you?
        Yup, unless you can point to any indication from me anywhere that indicates otherwise.

        1. name three wrongdoings of the Israeli govt against Palestinians. I’m not looking for a Che Guevara t-shirt wearing leftist diatribe, I mean verifiable facts. They exist, but ppl here criticizing my claim that Israel bears at least an ounce of blame seem to think that history can just be washed away.

          1. I never made any claim that Israel is blameless, nor have I leveled criticism at you for pointing out that Israel bears part of the responsibility for the ongoing conflict.

            1. then I’m not referring to you. But that position has certainly been expressed on this site (comments) in the last few weeks.

              1. So you claim. Then you hand wave a t a few people and produce nothing of actual substance.

                You’re a provocateur, nothing more.

    …Christian theologians ? of all denominations ? appeared to regard the promotion of the war as their sacred duty. Their appeal for sacrifice and martyrdom was communicated in a language that makes some contemporary jihadists appear moderate by comparison. In 1915, Arthur F Winnington-Ingram, the Anglican bishop of London, declared that it was the nation’s duty to mobilise for ‘a holy war’. In one of his sermons he urged British soldiers to ‘kill Germans ? do kill them; not for the sake of killing, but to save the world, to kill the good as well as the bad, to kill the young as well as the old, to kill those who have shown kindness to our wounded as well as those fiends? As I have said a thousand times, I look upon it as a war for purity, I look upon everyone who died in it as a martyr.’…

    1. Humans have always been really good at coming up with reasons to kill the tribe on the other side of the mountain range.

      1. like Israelis? 😉

        1. Sure! Jews are human like everyone else and subject to the same foibles.

          1. holy crap, honesty. That’s all I ever sought. Israelis are humans, their govt is shit like all govts, there we go. Mutual understanding.

            1. Not exactly, you’re an equivalency drawing moron. He’s just humoring you.

    2. Lawrence of Arabia is an overrated movie.

      1. My second will be around shortly. Swords, pistols or howitzers?

      2. I can’t make out whether you’re bloody bad-mannered or just half-witted.

        1. Forget it Scruff. It’s Tedtown

        2. Erich von Stroheim would have come up with those desert shots 40 years earlier in Greed if wide-screen cameras had been around in the early 1920s.

          1. I’ll have to check that out.

            The train scene in Lawrence is still one of my all-time favorites.

            1. The problem with Greed is that von Stroheim made a nine-hour movie. Seriously. The bosses had to edit it down, and while the subject material could have made a good 140-minute movie (which is what was eventually released) if that was the original script, having to edit a nine-plus hour movie down to two-plus is going to be a mess.

              And then some idiots found a lot of production stills and used those to “reconstruct” a four-hour version of the movie, which is an even bigger mess.

      3. Relative to what? It’s a great movie.

        1. Relative to Bridge on the River Kwai for starters.

          As for David Lean movies, don’t get me started on Doctor Zhivago.

          1. I’d certainly rate Dr. Zhivago lower than the other two, but Lawrence is a fine film.

            1. I only said “overrated”, not “bad”. I don’t think it deserves to show up on Top 10 of All Time lists and such. Ditto Vertigo.

              1. yeah I didn’t care for Vertigo.

              2. Overrated is a tough term. In some ways, Shakespeare is overrated. Or, say, Michael Jordan. Both are awesome, but the praise can get out of hand, even for the truly great.

    3. Meh.

      Jihad is a religious term that describes a war for conquest in the name of a truly militant religion. There is no analog in Christian texts. Of course, 19th Century social gospel, a secular-oriented version of Christianity, did advance the Progressive political doctrine, and made ridiculous justifications for war to achieve its ends.

    4. Don’t have time to read right now. But, IF he’s ignoring nationalism and the progressive idea that the “Great War” would purge violence from humanity in general then he’s missing a lot.

  15. Smarter than Thou
    Neil deGrasse Tyson and America’s nerd problem

    One part insecure hipsterism, one part unwarranted condescension, the two defining characteristics of self-professed nerds are (a) the belief that one can discover all of the secrets of human experience through differential equations and (b) the unlovely tendency to presume themselves to be smarter than everybody else in the world. Prominent examples include MSNBC’s Melissa Harris-Perry, Rachel Maddow, Steve Kornacki, and Chris Hayes; Vox’s Ezra Klein, Dylan Matthews, and Matt Yglesias; the sabermetrician Nate Silver; the economist Paul Krugman; the atheist Richard Dawkins; former vice president Al Gore; celebrity scientist Bill Nye; and, really, anybody who conforms to the Left’s social and moral precepts while wearing glasses and babbling about statistics.

    The pose is, of course, little more than a ruse ? our professional “nerds” being, like Mrs. Doubtfire, stereotypical facsimiles of the real thing. They have the patois but not the passion; the clothes but not the style; the posture but not the imprimatur. Theirs is the nerd-dom of Star Wars, not Star Trek; of Mario Kart and not World of Warcraft; of the latest X-Men movie rather than the comics themselves.

    1. burn!

    2. MHP is a nerd? The woman is a dimwit.

      1. Of course she is. The point is that her pose is one of an intellectual, despite the fact that she has the functional intelligence of a garden slug.

        1. Yes, I would actually include her and most other media types in this group:

          Thus do we see unexceptional liberal-arts students lecturing other people about things they don’t understand themselves and terming the dissenters “flat-earthers.” Thus do we see people who have never in their lives read a single academic paper clinging to the mantle of “science” as might Albert Einstein. Thus do we see residents of Brooklyn who are unable to tell you at what temperature water boils rolling their eyes at Bj?rn Lomborg or Roger Pielke Jr. because he disagrees with Harry Reid on climate change.

      2. Careful – that’s the nation’s preeminent intellectual you’re talking about, accorading to Ta-Nehisi Coates.

    3. I doubt that more three of the people listed could even give a single example of a differential equation, much less provide a coherent definition of this branch a mathematics.

      The guy gives these people too much credit.

      1. The problem is that these people give themselves too much credit too

      2. I would expect Krugman learned that at one time. His Nobel Prize was on some very technical analysis. Nate Silver, probably.

  16. House Speaker John Boehner has flatly refused to bring impeachment charges against President Barack Obama.

    The next DNC fundraising email is going to have to be rewritten.

    1. He flatly refused to bring impeachment charges that day.

    2. No it’s not; they’ll just keep repeating the same shit over and over as long as it keeps the donations coming in.

    3. The next DNC fundraising email is going to have to be rewritten.

      You mistakenly assume honesty has anything to do with it.

      1. “So give today to help us stop Boehner and the Koch brothers secret plan….”

  17. Germany performed the most penis enlargements in the world last year

    Clearly bratwurst plays more than just one key role in German culture: According to the International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, Germany performed the most penis enlargements in the world in 2013 ? 2,786 of more than 15,000 across the globe, or nearly a fifth of the world’s total. In comparison, runner-up Venezuela performed just 473 penis enhancements, while Iran ? the country with the lowest number ? performed a mere 12.

    ISAPS also looked into the other 23 million surgical and non-surgical cosmetic procedures performed internationally in 2013, ranking the U.S. the top country for “work” of all kinds. Breast augmentation and liposuction were the top two procedures, with more than 1.6 million procedures performed each. Botox and other fillers beat the top two plastic surgery procedures by a long shot, coming in at a combined 8.2 million injections.

    insert wienerschnitzel joke here

    1. At least they’ll stop invading their neighbors as compensation.

    2. Huh. I read something years ago about penis size generally correlating to height. Germans are taller than average, are they not? Maybe it’s not Germans getting the procedure but rather giving it?

      1. read something years ago about penis size

        just some innocent research, eh?

        1. I was considering a reduction, true.

      2. A gay friend told me that his non-exhaustive research on the subject was that arm span to middle finger and waist circumference were the two best correlating factors.

    1. My first thought on this is that if a woman isn’t in the mood to have sex, she also isn’t in the mood to let you put her in the mood via foreplay (at least in my experience).

      Second, why is it considered obvious that the man must “pay attention to [his wife’s] needs and things will work out”, but thinking that the wife should pay attention to his sexual needs is this awful, misogynistic viewpoint? If the man shouldn’t be able to expect sex, the woman shouldn’t be able to expect affection, or going to a play, or whatever it is that she wants.

      1. but thinking that the wife should pay attention to his sexual needs is this awful, misogynistic viewpoint?

        Patriarchy! Rape Culture!

      2. Because women are parasites that only take, so it is against the natural order to ask them to give a man anything.
        /runs from room, locks door.

    2. Where’s the antecedent?

      1. If you’re talking about the spreadsheet thing, it was on reddit but the wife deleted it after a lot of people pointed out that she probably wasn’t telling the whole story. Here’s an article on it, which includes the original spreadsheet and a link to the remaining comments on Reddit.

        1. “Her” doesn’t seem to refer to anything in that tagline.

          1. Did you read the article? It’s a generic “her”.

  18. That’s cheeky! Bikini-clad Kylie Minogue, 46, shows off her playful side as she bares her bottom to mirror famous Coppertone Suntan ad on cover of GQ Italy

    Dang she looks good for 46.

    1. Can’t get her out of my head

    2. I’d like to see what the unretouched pics looked like first.

      1. “a little makeup and paint will make a girl what she jolly well ain’t”

  19. Led Zeppelin to release previously unheard version of Stairway to Heaven

    There was a time in my life when I would have cared. That time has passed.

    1. The “DJ needs to take a shit” song.

      1. Along with “American Pie” and “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

      2. The full version of “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” allows for longer, more fulfilling shits.

        1. In the Garden of Eden baby,
          Don’t you know that I always love you

          (Well, not you, DEG….)

    2. Maybe they can release a good song for once.

      1. What is this, Ted Hates Good Stuff Day?

        1. No; it’s “Freak Out Over Ted’s Heterodox Tastes Day”.

        2. Ted is grumpy cat..

  20. Woman walked on the beach topless with her shorts pulled down after three shots of vodka

    Cheap date.

    1. Happened in Florida? Let me dust off my shocked face.

      1. I couldn’t live anywhere else. The lack of chaos would put me in a boredom coma.

      2. When I see articles like this, and see that it was perpetrated by a Floridian, I relax in knowing that all is well.. and everything in the universe is proportionally correct..

        I love Florida.

    2. Only three shots? How little did she weigh?

      1. Those shots were just an excuse. She wasn’t actually that drunk, I bet.

        1. Cheeky bastard.

  21. Best post-baby body ever? Olivia Wilde shows off trim figure in skinny jeans just three months after giving birth to son Otis

    I lust her so bad.

    1. Her and that actress from the Wolf of Wall Street.

      1. Leonardo di Caprio?

      2. I’ve been in lust with Wilde since House. Skimmed the cast for that movie and no names jumped out at me.

        1. Margot Robbie the Australian minx. Also my future 5th ex-wife.

        2. “I’ve been in lust with Wilde since House.”
          Oh yeah, well I lusted her since Bickford Shmeckler’s Cool Ideas.

  22. The U.S. has struck a $700 million dollar deal to sell 5,000 Hellfire missiles to Iraq.

    “Hellfire” should be renamed. I know its origin, but the name is, um, needlessness inflammatory. I propose: “Tickler” missile.

    1. Mrs. Doubtfire missile. With an image of Robin Williams’ dopey-faced grin on the nose.

      1. 😎

        “My first day ? and I’m getting hot flashes!”

    2. They should use the same process that pharmaceutical companies use to come up with drug names.

      1. Some of those drug names seem pretty intimidating.

        It’s hard to tell the difference between some of these drugs and and evil alien home planet.

      2. Burnatrex? Meltabutrion? Singium?

        1. Incinitrex, Bysplatia, Explosvox?

  23. Paying Ransoms, Europe Bankrolls Qaeda Terror

    Officially, Germany had budgeted the money as humanitarian aid for the poor, landlocked nation of Mali.

    In truth, all sides understood that the cash was bound for an obscure group of Islamic extremists who were holding 32 European hostages, according to six senior diplomats directly involved in the exchange.

    The suitcases were loaded onto pickup trucks and driven hundreds of miles north into the Sahara, where the bearded fighters, who would soon become an official arm of Al Qaeda, counted the money on a blanket thrown on the sand. The 2003 episode was a learning experience for both sides. Eleven years later, the handoff in Bamako has become a well-rehearsed ritual, one of dozens of such transactions repeated all over the world.

    1. Millions for tribute, not one cent for defense!


      1. They are willful satrapies these days.

    2. You should read what Willy Brandt did with the terrorists that did the Munich Olympics hostage-taking and murders.

  24. Trigger warning, smugness.

    J. Herbert Nelson joins workers and faith leaders in demanding better jobs for federal workers
    The Rev. J. Herbert Nelson, the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) director for public witness, this morning joined with workers and other leaders in the faith community, including Presbyterian minister the Rev. Michael Livingston of Interfaith Worker Justice and the Rev. S?kinah Hamlin of the Ecumenical Poverty Initiative (formerly National Council of Churches Poverty Initiative), in an action of nonviolent civil disobedience to urge President Obama to improve jobs for millions of workers.

    Together, workers and faith leaders asked the President to sign a Good Jobs Executive Order that will ensure that the federal government only does business with companies that pay a living wage and provide good benefits, follow wage, hour, and safety laws, allow workers to bargain collectively, and limit overspending on CEO pay….

    1. “Render unto Caesar….everything”

    2. Fire them and let them get paid more in the private sector.

  25. Breast-feeding moms take over Oklahoma park

    People walking through a Tulsa park Monday might have gotten a bit of a surprise: nearly 30 moms breast-feeding their babies right out in the open. But the fact that it may have surprised them is why the moms were there in the first place.

    “Get with it. Let’s realize that this is going to be normal,” says organizer Carrie Fulgencio.

    She’s a photographer who arranged for the women to get together in the park so she could take pictures of them with their babies. But it’s not your average playdate or photoshoot. They were there to breast-feed ? out in the open.

    1. My wife is actually going to one of these things with our baby on Saturday because a friend who isn’t very comfortable breastfeeding her baby asked her to. It surprises me that there are people who aren’t comfortable with it, but whatever.

    2. Next step: Open Carry Moms Openly Breastfeeding

  26. Just read the McDonalds story – a 1099 subcontractor has to meet certain requirements to be considered not an employee of a business and that makes sense, I’m thinking that if McDonalds franchises were looked at in the same way nobody would conclude that each McDonalds is actually independently owned and operated. Franchise owners really own only a license to operate the business, but the business gets operated by the rules set by McDonalds. Try operating “your” McDonalds franchise in an independent manner and see how fast your license gets yanked.

    1. I think it would make sense to treat any complaints which come directly from McDonalds requirements as joint, but no others

      1. But who is liable if an employee breaks a law, or if the building isn’t up to code, or if a customer gets food poisoning? Does any of that liability transfer up to corporate McDonalds?

        Honest question.

        1. Who’s got the biggest pile of money?

        2. Well, in the famous hot coffee liability case it was McDonalds that was sued and lost, I’m guessing because the product was produced under their directions

      2. Pay is so variable across franchises that it clearly has nothing to do with corporate.

  27. 300 in brawl at New Jersey wedding; 2 arrested

    Two off-duty police officers were working the reception as security when they were alerted to a fight. As the officers attempted to break up the fight, they say the crowd swelled to about 80 people. The were pushing and shoving each other while screaming and yelling.

    The officers radioed for additional help to break up the crowd. As Middletown police officers attempted to gain control of the situation approximately 300 people became involved in the brawl.

    Police say that along with the fighting, yelling and screaming, people refused to leave the area.

    1. It was no Dothraki wedding.

      1. A New Jersey wedding without at least three arrests is considered a dull affair.

        So, no, it didn’t even meet New Jersey standards.

    2. That’s some wedding that needs security at the reception.

    3. Not surprised this happened in the Jerze.

    4. Sunday wedding. I’d be pissed too.

      Two off-duty police officers were working the reception as security when they were alerted to a fight. As the officers attempted to break up the fight, they say the crowd swelled to about 80 people. The were pushing and shoving each other while screaming and yelling.

      I’m aware that weddings in NJ tend to be a bit more of an event than in other parts of the country, but who the hell hires security for one? Seems to me that the families knew something was going to go down.

      1. but who the hell hires security for one?

        Not certain, but probably a requirement for whatever hall they rented?

        1. Possible, but I don’t think it’s likely. I’ve been to a crapload of weddings throughout this state over the last five years, and this is the first I’ve heard of such a thing. And for a Sunday wedding I doubt the hall had several receptions to keep sorted.

        2. Mine did. It was an insurance requirement for place we rented out for the reception.

    5. It has nothing… nothing on Serbian weddings.

    1. And neither will the *FAA*.

    2. Maybe if the drones are made out of bacon…

  28. Like a Virgin
    A new MTV show shows virgins in a different light.

    The show follows a similar format to True Life. It relies heavily on “confessionals” or young adults talking directly to the camera. Each participant has a loose story that involves the quest either to lose his or her virginity or to remain a virgin. Mikaela and Kyle become nervous around the opposite sex, so much so that they are in their early twenties and have never had relations. Luke and Dominique are virgins by choice and are attempting to refrain from sex until they are married.

    Virgin Territory has its faults. The show could really benefit from, say, a thirty-year-old virgin. But it is refreshing that, for once, boys and girls who aren’t participating in the hook-up culture are shown as actually being human. The virgins are not a stereotype. It is surprising that beautiful, tattooed, party-girl Mikaela and handsome cowboy Luke, who admits to having done everything other than sex, could be virgins. Luke, a Christian who has Bible verses tattooed on his body, admits to having run away from situations where sex was imminent because his faith tells him to remain a virgin until marriage.

    Come into the light…

    1. MTV knows it’s won the culture war. They can safely cover virginity as one of many quaint and curious options on the sexual smorgasboard.

      1. Virginity’s days were numbered once people had a chance for the alternative

        1. OK, then, when did people first have the chance to avoid virginity? 1969?

          1. How did the human species manage to perpetuate itself, back in the days when virginity was the only option?

    2. It is surprising that beautiful, tattooed, party-girl Mikaela and handsome cowboy Luke, who admits to having done everything other than sex, could be virgins. Luke, a Christian who has Bible verses tattooed on his body,

      Good-looking and tattoos don’t go together.

      1. He really should get laid so he’s got something better to do than put religious post-it notes on his skin

    3. Luke, a Christian who has Bible verses tattooed on his body

      Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.

      -Leviticus 19:28

      1. That’s the Jew Bible, not the important part dictated by baby Jesus in the King’s English.

        1. “Da Bible is GAWD”S LITERAL WORD, ‘cept for the parts I don’t like.”

          1. I always wondered where people go the idea that the gathered books of people across a couple of thousand years was Teh Literal Word of Gawd. That is a Muslim position on the Koran, fer Buddah’s sake.

            1. The Torah is held to have been told directly to Moses by God and that Moses wrote it exactly as was told to him via divine inspiration. It makes sense to extended that origin to the New Testament as well. The issue arises when you consider that the NT has never had the same sort of informational control applied to it like the Torah.

        2. Gentiles arent under jewish law.

      2. Do you think they get that tattooed on them as well?

        1. I doubt they have that ironic of a sense of humor.

          1. I would applaud them if they did, my aversion to tattoos notwithstanding.

          2. You know, that means no temporary tattoos, either. Or stamps for going into bars, events, Chuck E. Cheese.

            1. No tattoos, no bacon, no cheeseburgers.

              Being a jew would suck. Although Im fine with the no tattoo thing.

              1. No shrimp or lobster, either. As far as religions go, that’s way down on my list of ones I’d want to join.

  29. Border Patrol Agent Charged In $60,000 Money-Laundering Scheme

    When Border Patrol Agent Raimundo Borjas pulled into the Wilcox border check point along Arizona’s deserted Highway 80 at 11:45 p.m., March 21, 2013, he likely assumed his colleagues would quickly wave him through.

    Instead, the Customs and Border Protection Agents at the check point took the 10-year CBP into custody.

    Forty-five minutes later, Borjas was in the custody of the Federal Bureau of Investigation as part of an investigation into an alleged money-laundering scheme originating in the Mexican city of Agua Prieta, which is essentially controlled by the Sinaloa drug cartel.

    1. They were pissed that he was taking all the asset forfeiture assets for himself.

  30. California Health Insurance Rates Rise Up to 88% in ’14

    Health-care insurance premiums for individuals in California rose between 22 percent and 88 percent in 2014 from last year, even after the federal health-care overhaul, the state’s insurance commissioner said.

    The rate increases, with variation for geography and age, were masked by federal subsidies that the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act provides to 88 percent of the 1.4 million Californians who purchased health care through the state’s exchange, Insurance Commissioner Dave Jones said.

    1. Those god damned Republicans!

    2. See, they’re controlling costs, just controlling them in an upwards direction

    3. But because they were subsidized, it doesn’t matter.


    4. California was mostly signing people up who couldn’t afford to pay. This is an obvious outcome. Wait until they get that expanded Medicare bill.

  31. Taxpayers have forked out close to $330,000, including $800 for a doorknob, for a border protection media briefing room that hasn’t been used since its completion 10 months ago.


    1. Are they going through the Defense Department?

      1. Of course not. How do you think they kept costs down?

    2. Don’t get me started on this, furry.

      Stainless-steel toilet seats on warships and highway cold-water restrooms makes sense. I mean in a Dilbert level engineering sense.

  32. The U.S. has struck a $700 million dollar deal to sell 5,000 Hellfire missiles to Iraq.

    AM Links 2015: Thousands of Hellfire missiles used by the Islamic State of Iraq rain down on Saudi Arabia, Iran and Israel.

    Because not giving the missiles would be ‘isolationism’.

    1. The ISI are allied with Saudi Arabia, so I doubt they’ll be used there unless there is a civil war between the secular and the fundamentalist wings of the royal family.

      1. There will be when they want control of the Holy Cities.

      2. They’re allied against their mutual enemies. And a civil war would be conflict between two factions of the same institution, not two different states. And the Caliphate’s goal is regional domination, which could easily be construed as the Arabian peninsula.

    2. AM Links 2015: Thousands of Hellfire missiles used by the Islamic State of Iraq rain down on Saudi Arabia, Iran and Israel.

      These are precision, laser guided, anti-armor, air to surface missiles.

      They’re not Scuds.

      1. So what if they’re not Scuds? Does that mean they can only be used by whomever the US wishes to use them? They’re extremely versatile weapons that can be operated by every platform from aircraft to techies.

        1. When you say “rain down” you imply some sort of ballistic missile that falls from the sky into populated areas. These are anti-armor missiles. They don’t “rain down” on anything.

          1. Unless you have drones. I’ve seen 24, I know what these things can do in the hands of terrorists.

          2. So Hellfire missiles don’t succumb to gravity once launched? Their targets are not on the surface of the planet?

            1. It’s like the difference between a mortar and an RPG. Mortars “rain down” on their targets. RPGs are used to take out armored vehicles or blast through walls. They generally aren’t lobbed at a target. Hellfires are like RPGs. They’re generally not lobbed. Whatever. Think whatever makes you feel good. I’m done trying to cure your willful ignorance.

              1. Willful ignorance? I mean see that you made some semantic inferences all of your own accord, but thanks for trying to help poor little me. You are so noble.

        2. They may not be that easy to improvise a launching AND actively use the guidance system.

          Just sayin’.

          1. If the Lebanese can use them I think the defected or captured technicians of the Iraqi army can too.

    1. Muhammad Ali? Kareem Abdul Jabar? Ahmed Zewail? Fazlur Kahn?

      1. Thanks, Bo. I should have made it clearer that I was asking Mr. Obama.

        1. Obama: “Well, I became president and passed a sweeping healthcare law. Heh, heh, I kid.”

          1. Threadwinner.

      2. You named a scientist and an architect. Those are valid. Sports figures don’t count, since they’re essentially worthless or at least as valuable as the monkey I chained up in my garage to dance for party guests while we throw peanut shells at him.

        1. “Sports figures don’t count, since they’re essentially worthless or at least as valuable as the monkey I chained up in my garage to dance for party guests while we throw peanut shells at him.”

          I might have phrased it differently, but yours certainly was the way more entertaining way of putting it.

        2. I’m glad you know which occupations are of worth and which are not

          1. Entertainment facilitates capital consumption, not capital accumulation. And I love entertainment, it makes life better. Like the entertainment I get from offending people’s sports nationalism.

            1. And the only thing of value is capital accumulation? People are thankfully free to decide their own value and worth of things without regard to your universal truths on the issue

              1. It’s funny that you cite an individual’s prerogative to place their own value on things, but you vehemently deny my own ability to do so. Is somebody a wee bit butthurt?

                1. The difference between realizing value is subjective and not

                  1. Where on the doll did the offensive man touch you?

                    1. Ah, I see, just trolling. You’ll have to continue this conversation as you likely do many things, by yourself

                    2. I find that the subjective value of a conversation with you is found in the butthurt you feel when your strawman arguments don’t work as planned.

              2. Bo you are just being obtuse here.

                Entertainment has value but Obama did not thank Muslim Americans for the value they provided to the country, they were thanked for achievements and contributions adding to the fabric of our country. The problem with entertainment is it’s value is ephemeral and this is especially true of sports. Once the game is over there is no lasting impact on our culture so for an athlete to qualify he or she has to have far greater cultural significance than merely their athletic achievements and very very few athletes have that.

                Now in fairness Muhammad Ali actually does so in reality it is only Kareem Adbul Jabbar who is irrelivant from your list

                1. Kareem Abdul Jabbar was in Airplane! which means he may still be entertaining people 100 years from now, while no one will be watching old timey basketball matches. So there’s that…

      3. when you are born Cassius Clay or Lewis Alcindor, in non-Muslim households, you are not a muslim-american. Adopting the faith after you are in the public eye does not change that. It just makes you an American who is a Muslim.

        1. Talk about semantics

          1. not semantics, facts. Neither is a Muslim-American. Both are Americans who converted to Islam. See if you can spot the distinction.

            1. I can’t spot one that makes a difference, but given that there have been people of note named that fit your definition it’s really a moot point

              1. if you can’t spot one, that does not speak well of you. The hyphen in terms tends to mean having been rooted in something: Asian-Americans, Africa-Americans, Polish-Americans, etc. The pair you mention has no foundation in Islam. It’s not that complicated.

                1. That’s idiosyncratic, since Aftican American is not usually confined to people ‘rooted’ in Africa.

      4. Whatever became of Cassius Clay and Lew Alcindor? I thought they would have had good careers in their respective sports.

    2. Making it more difficult to buy pressure cookers?

    3. Kareem Abdul Jabbar (the basketball player) is Muslim.

      Muhammed Ali (the boxer) is Muslim.

      Oh… you’re asking Obama, not me. He probably wouldn’t know those things. Beneath him and all that.

      1. Oops… too slow

      2. both converted to Islam after they were known quantities, so the question still stands.

        1. And both went on to accomplish great achievements after converting

          1. one was heavyweight champion prior to converting and the other was a three-time NCAA player of the year, also prior to converting. They are no more Muslim-Americans that Lewis Farrakhan. They are Americans who converted to Islam.

            1. And both went on to accomplish great achievements after converting

              1. One made some goals of one kind or another and the other punched people real good. Their graves will undoubtedly be marked with an eternal flame.

              2. So, in the nature of pedantic quibbling, does this make most US citizens ‘christian-americans’?

    4. Jawed Karim who co-founded YouTube
      Ahmet Erteg?n who founded Atlantic Records
      Ahmed Zewail who won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry

      And the usual bunch of rappers, sports stars, and Muhammad Ali

      1. Let’s not forget the Iron Sheik.

    5. His timing, as usual, is impeccable.

    6. Champeen of the Woild and G.O.A.T.: Muhammed Ali

  33. House Speaker John Boehner has flatly refused to bring impeachment charges against President Barack Obama. “We have no plans to impeach the president. We have no future plans,” Boehner declared.



    ONE OF US!

  34. We have no future plans,” Boehner declared.

    My first reaction: Speaking for everyone in Congress, eh, Johnny?

    Second reaction: Except for those ‘getting re-elected plans’ right?

    1. Technically, he runs the House, so he should be able to speak for his Republican colleagues.

      Obviously the Democrats have no plans to impeach Obama.

  35. House Speaker John Boehner has flatly refused to bring impeachment charges against President Barack Obama. “We have no plans to impeach the president. We have no future plans,” Boehner declared.

    Obama is not Nixionian enough. Obama might run secret wars, ferret through his political enemy’s tax returns, make executive decisions untethered to his authority, and record your phone calls, but his saving grace is that he won’t break into your motel room.

    1. You don’t think the NSA doesn’t talk to the IRS? The IRS sits on the same intelligence committees with the NSA. Remember, IRS is also law enforcement and works with the FBI and the intel community on counter terror.

      1. Given the rank incompetence demonstrated nearly continuously by so many in this administration, does anyone think a serious investigation wouldn’t turn up enough to impeach? Really? To date, the big weapon in the prosecution arsenal, finding a little guy who can be sent away for his offenses who knows about the bigger guys, hasn’t even been loaded.

  36. Rep. Schakowsky: Legalizing Illegals ‘Would Raise the Wages, Really, of All Workers’

    “In so many ways it would help our economy, help American, Native American workers, and be a plus for all of us.”

    Next up, further improving the economy by granting citizenship to the Palestinians.

    1. Economies are dynamic not zero sum

      1. They’re *kinetic*, too.

      2. ^ this. But the lot of fucking quasi-fascists I see commenting here are still stuck in this us vs them bullshit.

      3. So dynamic that the law of supply and demand ceases to function when unemployment gets sufficiently high.

    2. If more of something is available, this leads to higher prices for it, right?!

      /Rep Schakowsky


    In another example of how the Department of Homeland Security has expanded far outside the purview of its original function, six vehicles full of DHS agents were required to seize a Land Rover from a couple in Statesville, N.C. due to the fact that the vehicle allegedly violates EPA emission standards.

    1. That is Customs enforcement. They are not enforcing EPA rules. They are enforcing the ban on importing cars that don’t comply with EPA rules.

    2. I’m glad we don’t have emissions testing here in Michigan. Surprised the EPA hasn’t tried to make this mandatory at a Federal level.

  38. “All my life I’ve felt like a black person trapped in a white person’s body.”

    FatBot discusses transracial surgery, pausing only to wipe her Cheeto-encrusted fingers off on her rancid t-shirt that is filled with five years of night farts.

    1. Where’d that line come from?

      It’s actually not a wholly objectionable article, mostly because she doesn’t try to be funny or talk about bumping uglies with her boyfriend

      1. I’m just pointing out when all tolerance for this will jump the shark for the left.


        1. Micheal Jackson bleached himself white. How long before some guilty white person turns themselves black?

          1. but blackface is raccisst!!

        2. I was hoping it came from your next masterpiece

    2. Sheesh, who’s setting all these body traps?

    3. Isn’t that just surgical black face? You can’t “make yourself black”. If you could, black face wouldn’t be offensive, right?

    4. Why bother with the surgery? Just declare yourself to be pre-op black. It works for sex change, pre-op woman and men.

      1. Say it loud – “I’m black and I’m proud!” James Brown would approve.

    5. Tracy Turnblad: Oh, Link, I wish I had dark skin.

      Link Larkin: Tracy, our souls are black, though our skin is white.

    1. Well, I obviously know how to use the internet:


      1. What a fucking mouthbreathing idiot.

        1. I like money.

    2. Surprised it took this them long. Anyone making fun of the poor and the stupid is taking dead aim at their base.

      1. Also, the movie implicitly/accidentally points out that all of this “free” healthcare/unicorn pony bullshit might lead to some unfortunate circumstances.


        1. It’s Mike Judge, pretty sure it’s meant to be implicit.

      2. I’d have thought their opinion was that it was making fun of the TEAM RED hicks and yokels.

        1. They need those hick and rednecks now, as cannon fodder for the inequality tack.

  39. Orlando Bloom Threw a Punch at Justin Bieber in Ibiza Last Night

    It doesn’t say he actually connected, the big fop

    1. He’s all CGI anyway.

      1. Why do I think this fight went like this:

        J: Hey Orlando, honey! I been wearing your beard.

        O: Shut up you bitch! People have seen pictures of me with your old beard!

        J: But people think I’m much more butch than you, you fancy elf!

        O: I’ll scratth your eyes out, you great flaming song-bird! Hold my grass-hopper, Elijah!

    2. IFH: any shit on the fan after the Wikileaks announcement?

      1. As everyone is bound by the order in Australia, the reporting here has been very roundabout and circumspect – although the underlying principle is annoying a few people. Those people are frequently in favour of restraints on speech that wouldn’t affect them personally, so let’s not pretend this is high principle.

        I daresay behind the scenes there is a massive investigation into who leaked this, but there are also no details publicly available about this either.

        This – and the Underbelly injunction some years ago – really highlight the need to reform our contempt and similar laws. Which won’t happen any time soon, of course.

        1. Thanks for the insight. I assume everyone who wants to is downloading the doc anyway?

          1. heh, yep! And reading the overseas reports. I do enjoy the wide-eyed astonishment from Yanks who see some story like this from Oz and ask about our First Amendment. Such sheltered lives they lead…

  40. I finally finished Dance with Dragons last night.

    Wow, there are some, ummm, twists* I didnt expect. After languishing along for a bit, it really kicked into gear late.

    ***SPOILER ALERT*** Do not read ***SPOILER ALERT***

    I loved Arya’s method of execution for her first official kill as a faceless man.

    ***END SPOILER***

    *read: deaths

    1. I was kind of pissed

      SPOILER ALERT MOTHER &*^(*&^(*&^

      Roose Bolton was not (yet?) murdered by the ghost of Rob Stark wielding that machine gun from Commando.


      End Spoiler


  41. A hospital in Germany has agreed to accept an Ebola patient from West Africa after receiving a special request to do so from the World Health Organization.

    White guy?

    1. educated white guy. I guess he’s like an Ebola expert or something. According to some interwebs claims

  42. The U.S. has struck a $700 million dollar deal to sell 5,000 Hellfire missiles to Iraq.

    Stoking an arms race.

  43. Proposed alt text for the picture above.

    “Johnnie’s plan for the talent show involved a racially insensitive ventriloquist act”

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