White House Adviser Helped Insurers With Obamacare Bailout, Israel Blasts Gaza, EU Sanctions Russia: P.M. Links

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  1. Israeli forces are blasting all things Hamas in the Gaza Strip.

    In age-order I assume.

    1. Whoa! The Israelis and the Palis are killing each other?

      Does the commentariat know about this?

      1. Forget it, reason. It’s Arabtown.

        1. The Holy Land is my mother! (slap)
          My sister! (slap)
          My mother! (slap)
          My sister! (slap)

      2. We should just have them argue about circumcision instead.

        Or maybe deep-dish.

        1. You monster.

          1. Nicole would have come up with something much worse.

        2. I thought they agreed about circumcision.

      3. Apparently some have an incredible lust for blood.

        1. some really do, man. My money says they have never been to war.

    2. Hello.

      I say let Israel loose.

      1. lose! Israel can’t lose! Not with there Biblical stockpile of holy arms! You have yet to see 1% of 1% of the terrible wrath of Yahweh that shall rain down!

        1. Then what do they need US support for? If Yaweh could help them get control of the area before, he can do it again. Have they tried blowing trumpets and walking circles around Gaza yet?

      2. And when you came around
        You tried to tie me down
        I was such a clown
        You had to have it your way
        Well, I’m saying no way

        1. Wow, Loverboy. That’s not a group you hear about much. Probably with good reason, but since everything gets recycled anymore. . . .

      3. The Gaza Strip is about half the size of Singapore, with equally an advantageous position as a port near major seaways and with even better weather. And like Singapore does for China, Gaza could have acted as a clearing house for Israeli semiconductors and biotech, as one massive Free Trade Zone cum industrial park.

        What could have been.

        1. Heh, you said cum.

          It is pretty sad though, looking at all the places that are shitholes (or even just mediocre) that wouldn’t have to be if it weren’t for war, religious conflict, racism, government, and so on.

          1. Mostly government.

            1. Dude – can I bum a Red from you?

  2. The federal judge who invalidated the city’s ban on carrying firearms put his decision on hold for 90 days…

    “We’ve ignored the Bill of Rights for this long, people. What’s a little longer?”

    1. Fist wasn’t first?

      Dock that Chink a day’s pay for nappin on the job.

      1. SOMEONE ALREADY USED THAT JOKE.

        1. Well I don’t have all day to fuck around on here and see what people are going to post. I have, at best 8-10 hours a day for that.

        2. Mel Brooks?

          1. If you have to ask, you don’t belong here.

  3. DEAD GIVEAWAY

    Richard Dawkins is now bad, apparently.

    1. Loved him on Family Feud and Hogans Heroes!

      1. And the Running Man, amirite?

        1. “I live to see you eat that contract, but I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I’m going to ram it into your stomach and break your god-damn spin.”

          1. What’s the matter, steroids make you deaf?

            1. Ben Richards: [to Killian] Hello cutie pie, one of us is in deep trouble.
              [Sven enters]
              Damon Killian: [laughs] Sven, do you wanna talk to Mr. Richards?
              [long pause]
              Damon Killian: Well?
              Sven: I’ve got to score some steroids.
              [Sven leaves]

        2. And Match Game. He was fucking psychic. Seriously, watch his show. Randi should give his estate a million bucks.

      2. Survey says…

        1. Wasn’t there some issue with his always kissing all the female “Family Feud” contestants as their turns came up? I don’t remember what the problem was, maybe it was he was slipping them tongue or something like that.

          1. He married one of them, I think.

            Bob Barker was the sexual harasser.

    2. Dawkins has no idea the level of jimmie’s he rustled.

      1. He better pray to their god for forgiveness.

        1. A picture of Lorena Bobbitt?

    3. Now bad? He’s been bad for at least six months (I don’t keep detailed enough track to say — there was some dustup about a sarcastic letter he wrote criticizing Western feminists for not giving a shit about Muslim women).

      1. Yeah, they’ve been hatin’ on the Dawk for a while now. Ever since he said something mean to a chick at an Atheist convention.

        1. Plus, in the current timeline he doesn’t marry Mrs. Garrison.

      2. And apparently something about an elevator. Wasn’t that a long time ago?

        1. IIRC he in so many words told Rebecca Watson “don’t worry your pretty little head” wrt Elevatorgate and everyone flipped out.

          1. Fuck the -gate suffix.

            (This isn’t directed specifically at you.)

            1. I used to feel the same way, but in the end, it gets the point across.

              1. It’s comment-gate!1!1!

              2. “I used to feel the same way, but in the end, it gets the point across.”

                Well, it is a wake-up call to think outside the box, so it is what it is.

                1. At the end of the day, that is.

                  1. I actually did worry as I was writing that some weirdo would pester me for using “in the end”.

    4. I thought he’s been bad since at least elevatorgate.

      1. This is why Nicole is the worst.

  4. Emails reveal intervention by White House adviser Valerie Jarrett on behalf of the health insurance industry when executives voiced concern about Obamacare-related costs.

    And yet she couldn’t engineer the Olympics to Chicago to get her property values raised.

    1. Astonishing that there are people more corrupt than Chicago politicians, isn’t it?

      Either that, or the IOC just wanted to go someplace better than Chicago on their junket.

    2. Health insurance exec: “Hey, we like that you are mandating people do business with us, but the way you’re doing it is going to distroy the health insurance market.”

      Uncle Sugar: “Okay, here’s an open-ended promise to give you buttloads of money.”

      Exec: “Okey dokey.”

  5. Israeli forces are blasting all things Hamas in the Gaza Strip.

    Seems kind of like a war at this point. After years of lobbing rockets, it’s finally a war.

    1. It’s only a War when officially declared by the legislature. Until then its a kinetic military action, or something.

  6. Possible executive actions on immigration by President Obama may be effectively immune to challenge no matter their constitutionality.

    To be fair, the actions of pretty much all the executives in the recent past have been effectively immune to challenge. Which is the best kind of immune.

    1. Fuck that. How is any unconstitutional action immune to challenge? I mean, come on, there’s no way anyone can rationally say that’s a valid argument under the U.S. Constitution. Irrationally, sure. The Court goes there frequently.

      1. Peons don’t have standing to second guess topmen

      2. Effectively immune. When you’re challenged and your response is “fuck you come make me stop” and they don’t – and you knew that they wouldn’t, and you get to the point where you don’t even make a show of responding – then you’re immune.

  7. With the situation in Ukraine getting nastier, the European Union announced a first round of sanctions against Russia.

    Good luck heating your homes, Europe.

    1. Hah! Its both (a) August and (b) August (or will be soon enough).

      Not only is it warm out so they don’t need to heat their homes, they’re all on vacation, so nobody’s home anyway!

      Those clever Euros. Always one step ahead.

      1. And now that Iceland has recovered, it’s *geothermal* all around!

      2. Fuck it, U.S. as an exporter it is. Open the floodgates!

  8. Possible executive actions on immigration by President Obama may be effectively immune to challenge no matter their constitutionality.

    Because they’re taxes.

    1. Besides, how many divisions does the Supreme Court have, anyway?

  9. Microsoft finds China’s cronyism, arbitrary legal system, and pervasive corruption a tad difficult to navigate.

    Now they know what any company that’s tried to figure out their volume licensing feels like.

    1. It’s ridiculous how corrupt and protectionist the PRC is, when you start reading about the goings-on over there. It almost makes me feel sorry for MS.

  10. Asshole cop actually does the right thing.

    http://www.ajc.com/news/news/d…..rma/ngpxr/

    1. The right thing would be shooting himself.

      And why is the word friendly in quotes in HTML title?

      1. Because we can’t take,the owners,word,for,it.

        In a sane world, the following would have been FTA:
        “Officer Pitts stated the k9 “ran” towards his direction in an “aggressive” manner showing teeth and growling at him,” said the police incident report. “At this time Officer Pitts felt “in fear” of his life and discharged his duty weapon two times at the “aggressive” k9 to stop the threat.”

    2. FTA:
      “DeKalb officers shot at 16 dogs in 2013 and Conroy said he believed that Doctor was the ninth dog this year. The department makes a report whether the dog is hit or not, he said.”

      At this pace we’ll beat last year’s record by Thanksgiving.

      1. PAINT ANOTHER HOUND SILHOUETTE ON THE CROWN VIC, BOYS, CUZ I JUST BAGGED ANOTHER ONE!

    1. Super Bowl Shuffle sucked more.

    2. It’s surprising to see the phrase “FSU rap” not followed by “sheet”.

      1. Speaking of college football teams that usually have a few felony convictions each year, how do your Buckeyes look this season?

        1. Now you’ve done it.

        2. Miller is looking good in practice apparently.

          As,for,arrests, we had that Sprinkle dumbass get posted in a melee in Lorain. But in his defense, there’s not much to do in Lorain but fight and do coke.

          O-line is the big question mark this year. But fuck, ONLY 32 days until the season starts in Baltimore…and I’ll be there.

          1. Lorain is a worse shithole than Toledo. And that’s saying something.

            Took a trip through there when I lived in Avon. Made me appreciate Avon a whoooollllle lot more.

            1. Hey Almanian!, you should email me. I have candy in my van.

              1. Hah! You can’t fool me. Candy’s got her own car.

          2. ONLY 32 days until the season starts in Baltimore

            And only 33 days until it’s over.

        3. By the way, we didn’t even make the top 15 in arrests.

          http://bleacherreport.com/arti…..014-season

          1. Whoops. Wrong link.

            http://bleacherreport.com/arti…..al-trouble

            TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!! SLIDESHOW AHEAD!!!!!!

            1. It just took Meyer a couple of years to get the entire Columbus PD on the OSU payroll.

              1. I remember my first joke.

  11. Emails reveal intervention by White House adviser Valerie Jarrett

    I call bullshit. Uncrashed copies of emails from *Valerie Jarrett*, indeed!

  12. Microsoft finds China’s cronyism, arbitrary legal system, and pervasive corruption a tad difficult to navigate.

    Well, Microsoft has always struggled with complex systems, so this is no surprise.

  13. It’s time for legislators to take seriously cow control.

    Cow attack at B.C. farm kills N.W.T. man

    But Gord Molendyk, spokesperson for the RCMP in Vernon, B.C., said deaths from livestock attacks are more common than some may think.?

    “Canadian Cattlemen put out an article on aggressive cattle and one of the stats in there is over a 15-year period in Canada, 23 people were killed by cows, and this is generally dealing with the beef industry,” he said.?

    1. Even if people think they never happen, happening 1.5 times a year doesn’t seem like anything to even bother thinking about.

      1. If it just saves one life we should think about it. Are you saying your against saving lives?

        1. Q: How’d the Newfie die drinking milk?

          A: Cow fell over on him

    2. Seems appropriate:

      Jimmy: Uhh, Mr. McClure? I have a crazy friend who says its wrong to eat meat. Is he crazy?

      Troy: Nooo, just ignorant. You see your crazy friend never heard of “The Food Chain”. [Flash to a picture of “Food Chain”, with all animals and arrows pointing to a silhouette of a
      human.] Just ask this scientician.
      Scientician: [Looking up from a microscope.] Uhhh…

      Troy: He’ll tell you that, in nature, one creature invariably eats another creature to survive. [Images of various wild carnivores attacking and eating
      others appear.] Don’t kid yourself Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about! [Image of a cow quietly chewing cud.]

      Jimmy: Wow, Mr. McClure. I was a grade A moron to ever question eating meat.

      Troy: [Laughs.] Yes you were Jimmy, yes you were. [Briskly rubs his hand on Jimmy’s head.]

      1. I miss Phil Hartman on The Simpsons

  14. Holland’s prime minister asked for a cease fire around the site of the MH17 crash so that investigators can reach the scene.

    Nuke it from orbit.

    1. I was wondering why nothing like this existed yet. Good.

      1. Well, the games are from EA, so…

        Anyway, there is/will be PlayStation Now as well, which I believe is similar. And I think OnLive might be the same model, but I’m not sure.

        1. I just want them to pressure Steam to come out with something similar.

          1. I don’t think Steam is the chokepoint, I think it’s Microsoft.

        2. When does the Wii U version come out?

          1. It’s fine if you’re too filthy of a casual to become part of the PC Master Race. But Wii U, really?

            1. Also, a joke about how you could buy the entire library of Wii U games for $30 anyway, or something.

            2. PC gamers? What, you mean like flight simulators and Doom?

      2. Doesn’t Gamefly still exist?

        1. That would be the Qwikster for games… heh.

        2. I got so much value out of a 7-8 month subscription to that in college.

      3. Sounds like GameFly, except streaming.

  15. Android crypto blunder exposes users to highly privileged malware

    Oh, FFS! Is there *anything* like “cyber-security” anymore? 8-(

    1. Is there *anything* like “cyber-security” anymore? 8-(

      “Anymore?” It has always been this way, we’re just using computers for more stuff, and connecting everything to “the cloud”.

    2. Cis white male malware???!!

  16. Emails reveal intervention by White House adviser Valerie Jarrett on behalf of the health insurance industry when executives voiced concern about Obamacare-related costs.

    I’m shocked, shocked to find strong arming going on in the White House.

    1. These aren’t the price hikes your looking for.

    2. Why? I know you’ve seen what FLOTUS wears.

      1. ::golf clap::

    3. The insurance companies have captured the White House.

      All they have to say is “rate hikes” and the Obama Administration will instantly raise subsidies, all to keep his legacy afloat.

      The only question is what will the next administration do?

      1. Oh, but that’s Faux News. We can call it hate speech and ignore it.

        /prog logic

  17. Last surviving Enola Gay crew member dies in Stone Mountain, GA.

    Theodore “Dutch” Van Kirk, 93, was the navigator on the Aug. 6, 1945 flight that dropped the “Little Boy” atomic bomb.
    With the 2010 death of Morris Jeppson, Van Kirk became the only one of the dozen crew members left.
    A native of Pennsylvania, Van Kirk joined the Army Air Corps before Pearl Harbor, and became a navigator after washing out as a pilot.

    1. Was he the one who lost his mind due to guilt? One of them went on a game show with some Hiroshima survivors. I can’t find anything about it right now, though.

      1. One of them went on a game show with some Hiroshima survivors.

        Did hilarity ensue?

      2. This Is Your Life!. And it wasn’t the same guy.

        1. Thanks. I’m pretty sure Jesse posted it at some point.

  18. “This notion of extending DACA [Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals] to parents, who were the ones who consciously violated the law, strikes me as ridiculous,” said Ting, now a law professor at Temple University. Obama “has defaulted on his constitutional obligation to faithfully execute the laws.”

    I wonder if the parents/guardians of these ‘Childhood Arrivals’ will be picked up by Child Protective Service agencies. You know, leaving your kid alone to play in a park for a couple of hours is just as wrong as having him cross Mexico alone.

  19. Except the police chief already issued instructions not to arrest for carrying a gun in many cases.

    1. You can be sure that those instructions are going to be rescinded and disseminated faster than the instructions not to arrest.

  20. The Abbott government: it’s better than just repealing carbon tax!

    They introduced (but have not yet passed?) a budget that has thousands marching because it raises the pension age and cuts some bennies.

    http://www.news.com.au/nationa…..6979562419

    They’ve given the go-ahead to what will be the largest coal mine in Australia and possibly the world. Guardian article is as slanted as you’d expect.

    http://www.theguardian.com/env…..l-go-ahead

    1. They’re also building submarines and better yet doing it cheaper by outsourcing.

      http://uk.reuters.com/article/…..EB20140728

      He also refuses to bail out companies.

      http://www.smh.com.au/federal-…..2zlhr.html

      If he would just get smarter on guns and drugs it would be the perfecta.

      1. When I was there in May, seniors (aided and abetted by the media) were going ape-shit crazy that there were going to have to pay $7 out of pocket for doctor visits.

  21. Heard Tom Petty on his Sirius the other day. In one part of what otherwise was an interesting interview he was all dopey-derpy about the 1% and how they ‘need to care for the other 99%.’

    Even the losers get lucky sometimes and get in the 1%, right Tom?

    1. Tom was just runnin down a dream he wasnt some corporate fat cat, don’t do him like that.

      1. He won’t back down.

        1. He’s learning to fly, because it’s good to be king.

          His last dance with Mary Jane left him free fallin’.

          So, be easy on him, because you don’t know how it feels.

        2. Jeez, Hamilton. Yer so bad. Those 99%ers are just runnin down a dream and you want to put walls up with your insider buddies.

          I hope you have a change of heart someday.

          1. I’m pretty sure Tom Petty’s really an American girl. Pussy.

          2. Yeah well, I hope he don’t come around here no more.

            1. Something something…live like a refugee.

              1. You wreck me, baby

    2. Saying that the 0.01%’ers are getting richer while the rest ride along or get relatively poorer would be more accurate, but for the lack of a catchy slogan.

      1. The reciprocal, “We are the 99.99%’ers” doesn’t fly well either.

    3. Would you ask Tom Petty that question?

      1. Don’t do me like that.

  22. his Sirius channel.

  23. Obama nominates Colonel Sanders to the position of Ambassador At Large for Henhouse Guarding:

    http://www.lifenews.com/2014/0…..ign=buffer

    1. Ambassador at Large for International Religious Freedom at the State Department

      W.T.F?

      1. Seriously? This isn’t a paid position, is it?

        What is “international” about “religious freedom” anyway?

        Dude ought to visit the USG’s good friends at the House of Saud. You know, the monarch to whom Obama makes obeisance and his crew.

    2. That’s nothing, the director of U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services’s last name is Rodriguez.

    3. Kerry also introduced him …, saying that religious freedom is an “integral part of our global diplomatic engagement.”

      So, I suppose we can expect the good Rabbi to visit Tehran in the not-too-distant future.

      1. Probably ought to visit the anti-Assad rebels that Kerry was so anxious to support since they are busy crucifying Nazarenes and chopping of the heads of sundry infidels.

  24. Is there some sense of justice in the world? Perhaps Kern County, CA will lead the way.

    http://www.bakersfieldnow.com/…..l?mobile=y

    1. Of course, they’re gonna have to start prosecuting cops for murdering underage drinkers as well. But this is a start.

    2. Kern County Sheriff’s Deputy John Swearengin

      I wonder if he is any relation to Al?

  25. I didn’t see anything posted upthread – does it bother no one else that the gun in the pic appears to have no mag in it? THAT BOTHERS ME! What good is a fucking semi auto without a mag? A FULL mag? About as good as my single shot Winchester .22!

    PUT A MAG IN THAT FUCKING GUN BEFORE YOU HOLSTER IT AND TAKE A PICTURE, OR DON’T BOTHER TAKING A PICTURE!

    That is all.

    1. Speaking of not seeing anything posted upthread, you should email me. I still have candy in my van.

      1. You’re still not fooling me. Candy still has her own car!

        1. Put,on the glasses”

    2. Dude’s wearing Rustlers. So what you’re basically saying is that you want to arm all retarded people.

      Stay classy, Almanian.

      1. Your eye is sharper than mine, sloopy…

        1. and, evidently, focused on his ass…NTTAWWT

    3. you’re extremely stupid.

  26. Seattle area Reasonoids: I’m booking a work trip to a database conference in early November. Any suggestions for bars, restaurants, or general stuff to check out in the downtown area?

    1. No. Don’t give your money to commies.

      1. The conference in Galt’s Gulch was already booked solid.

        1. Well, then, by all means, continue to finance your own destruction.

    2. There’s not much that great stuff in Downtown proper, mostly chain restaurants or really expensive upscale places. Capitol Hill or Pioneer Square are nearby and are much better destinations for that sort of thing.

      Look up a restaurant in Pioneer Square called Delicatus, it has what are probably the most amazing sandwiches ever, that’s where I take people I’m trying to impress.

      The bar scene on Capitol Hill is pretty amazing and has just about anything you could ever want, so much so it’s difficult to give recommendations without knowing what you’re looking for. I’m fond of a place called Tango that’s located on Pike, really close to Downtown.

      1. We enjoyed the gilhooly glass museum at the foot of the Space Needle.

  27. I’ve been reading the Internetz today. This is almost always a bad idea.

    At a place like Google, the cost of paid maternity leave was less than the cost of recruiting another highly skilled employee. At low-skilled jobs, though, the calculus shifts, because workers are more easily replaceable. That has led to increased inequality, because high-skilled workers tend to have paid leave while low-skilled ones do not.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07…..=eta1&_r=0

    You see folks, the dearth of pregnant women roofers, is caused calculation shifts made by roofing contractors.

  28. Okay, spamming the evening threads because I have become unreliable about checking H&R due to work and baby. Austin area Reasonoids: My wife and I will be in your town Labor Day weekend (Sunday thru Tuesday night). I know Negroni Please and entropy_factor had expressed a desire to plan a meetup, probably Sunday night. My handle now has an email address I check. Email me if you have any interest. And if not, she and I will just eat good food, drink a lot and find ways to entertain ourselves. Last time we were in Austin we came home with a fetus. Help a brother out, give us something else to do.

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