NASA Almost Ready to Find the Aliens, Horrific Comcast Service Call Raises Eyebrows, Cards Against Humanity Co-Creator Accused of Rape: A.M. Links

Israeli airstrikes against Palestinians resumed in the Gaza Strip on Wednesday after Hamas rejected a ceasefire agreement.


  • Cosmos
    NASA / Wikimedia Commons

    Israeli airstrikes against Palestinians resumed in the Gaza Strip on Wednesday after Hamas rejected a ceasefire agreement.

  • Some NASA astronomers are predicting the discovery of alien life in the universe within 20 years.
  • An unbelievably nightmarish Comcast service call is giving the company very bad PR at a time when it wants the federal government to approve its merger with Time Warner Cable. During the 10-minute call, a Comcast customer service representative abjectly refused to cancel a customer's cable and berated the customer for being insufficiently positive about Comcast's internet speeds.
  • For years, the University of California at Los Angeles has violated state law and continued to practice race-based affirmative action, according to a new book by a UCLA professor.
  • Max Temkin, one of the co-creators of the popular party game "Cards Against Humanity," was accused of rape by a woman he knew in college a decade ago. Temkin denied the charge, though the wording of his defense was criticized by some. CAH has faced its own share of criticism in recent weeks—designers removed cards that made fun of rape and transvestites after people complained about them.

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    1. Hello.

      “An unbelievably nightmarish Comcast service call is giving the company very bad PR”

      Yeah well, come to my local grocer. A couple of little young girls at the cash don’t seem to grasp the concept of professional courtesy.

      It’s not my job to initiate a greeting and nor do I appreciate being given the receipt with nothing but a forced smirk. Not for the amount of money I spend there.

      1. That’s why I love the self-checkout lanes. I don’t have to interact with anybody.

      2. If it weren’t a government enforced monopoly, I wouldn’t care about the merger. As it stands, I don’t want comcast taking over TWC

        1. TWC is bad enough as it is.

          1. Still, Comcast proves it can be worse.

      3. That’s what you get for talking to them in English.

      4. It’s not my job to initiate a greeting and nor do I appreciate being given the receipt with nothing but a forced smirk. Not for the amount of money I spend there.

        Maybe you need to think economically, Rufus. I suspect the reason you trade your money for their groceries is because you value the groceries more than you value the money. IOW, you are profitting by your exchange with the grocery store. (The alternative explanation is that your are insane for trading higher-valued cash for lesser-valued groceries.) So why is it their duty to treat you as a customer when they sell you groceries for cash and not your duty to treat them as a customer when you sell them cash for groceries?

        1. This reasoning ignores incentives.

        2. Because…we’re not robots and it’s not how you’re taught in a customer oriented industry? Hello?

          At the bank, they would reprimand you for stuff like that. My father in law spent a lifetime in the grocery profession and believed courteous behavior was KEY.

          1. Yeah, a consistently annoying experience can induce people to shop elsewhere where they have a more pleasant experience.

            1. And yet Rufus pays the price of putting up with crappy service in addition to the cash price of the groceries. If he thought that were too high a price to pay, he would shop somewhere else, no?

              1. I don’t understand this either. If you don’t like the experience, go somewhere else. I think he just likes her dead eyes staring through his soul.

                1. I DO go elsewhere for the major purchases. This place is very convenient is it’s literally 30 seconds away.

                  However, the manager is very courteous and the stock guys are awesome.

                  I’m talking about the CASHIER.

                2. Dead eyes, *black* eyes, like a dolls eys . . .

              2. I love you guys but I hope none of you are in a customer service related field.

                1. I used to work for a major coffee shop chain. If anyone would order their latte with an attitude, throw their money at me, or just be exceedingly difficult about their drink, their “double tall nonfat latte” would magically be made with decaf espresso and whole milk. They never batted an eye.

            2. Maybe the checkers are trying to drive customers away, so they don’t have to work so hard.

        3. The bigger question is, why is it anybody’s duty to initiate a greeting? This exchange is about cash for groceries. Why maintain this fa?ade that we care about anything other than that? I’m kind of with WTF on this one.

          1. Sheesh. You guys are special.

            A simple ‘hello, how are you, thank you.’

            I’m at a loss at how mechanical you’re all thinking.

            1. One other thing, for you it’s just a transaction sort, as I mentioned, my wife’s family has been in the grocery profession for decades in management and ownership and I can tell you they don’t see it this way – at all. Groceries to them is all PERSONAL.

              Just saying.

      5. It’s comment links all the way down.

    2. And if by some chance I ever happen to bump into him in person, I’m going to do the world a big favor and knock all of his teeth right out of his ****ing head.

    3. You seriously linked to a link to *another* page? WTF is wrong with you?

    4. “Longtorso, Johnny|7.16.14 @ 9:00AM|#

      Weigel, AKA Palin’s Buttplug, busted”

      Here’s the thing, though =

      1) Who cares about *either* of them?

      …For any reason? Nothing that comes out of either’s piehole is worth taking the slightest note of?

      2) See #1

      3) I forget, but there was probably a third thing too.

  1. New Zealand: Rape case shakeup on cards this election
    …Both major parties claim the current system is not upholding justice for victims, and are looking at changes that would effectively make it easier for prosecutors to obtain convictions.

    National wants to explore allowing a judge or jury to see an accused’s refusal to give evidence in a negative light, while Labour wants to shift the burden of proof of consent from the alleged victim to the accused….

    1. They never cease to amaze me how deep their derp and evil runs.

    2. Heard an interview about this on RNZ’s podcast (2 weeks back?). The interviewer asked the politician/policy person about changing the judicial system by placing burden of proof on the accused. I think the response was along the lines of, “Well, things aren’t working too well the way we do them.”

      Fuck. We need to start accusing all these fuckers of rape and making them prove their innocence.

      1. Left-wingers are always referring to history to excuse them for their contemporary policies. That is, we were uncivilized in the past ergo we’re more advanced because of our progressiveness.

        Yet, stuff like this sets us back to Medieval versions of law. Or how they used to accuse people of witches and they had to prove they weren’t.

        It’s stunning they can’t see why innocent until proven guilty is so important.

        1. According to a recent freakonomics podcast, some of the trials by ordeal worked well. The priests would rig the ordeal.

          Still not as good as the english system.

      2. This is helpful…..-the-world

  2. Meet The Man Who Apologized After Being Falsely Accused Of Rape
    …I will continue to be a feminist and an advocate for women’s rights to the best of my capacity.

    …You will not harass or threaten the woman making these claims. I am not looking for a mob of people carrying pitchforks on my behalf. If you harass her or go after her in any way, you are not a friend of mine, and you are not a friend of Cards Against Humanity….

    1. Holy shit, that’s pathetic.

      1. I know that when a black gay man robs me, my response will be to say we shouldn’t be mad at him, or you’re a homophobic racist.

        1. Omar comin’.

          1. +1 Honey Nut Cheerios

  3. White reporter suspended for speaking about ‘anti-cop mentality’ among fatherless young black men after slaying of New Jersey officer…..ended.html

    Bergin said in his report that the underlying cause of an anti-police mentality is young black men growing up without fathers.

    Or maybe it’s because the cops have earned it. I mean, when you call the cops for help and they treat you like a criminal, then refuse to do any crime investigation, it tends to give people an anti-cop mentality.

    1. Why do you hate our Heroes in Blue? They put their lives on the line for us. Every. Day.

      1. And the lives of our dogs, too.

    2. Related: Bloods out for, uh, blood.

      The violent street gang has threatened to “kill a Jersey City cop and not stop until the National Guard is called out,” a senior law enforcement source revealed.

      Police are even being warned that violent Bloods gang members may be traveling from out of state to target officers in New Jersey, according to an internal Port Authority advisory obtained by The Post.

      Or maybe it’s because the cops have earned it.

      The JCPD isn’t too bad in my experience, meter maids aside. That’s a town that has real crime to deal with and doesn’t harass the victims of spite and/or boredom.

  4. After criticizing White House over unaccompanied minors, Martin O’Malley said don’t send them to Maryland site

    After his strong criticism of the Obama administration’s plans to return thousands of young undocumented migrants back to Central America, Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley asked a top White House official that the children not be sent to a site that was under consideration in his home state, sources familiar with the conversation said.

    “He privately said ‘please don’t send these kids to Western Maryland,'” a Democratic source told CNN. The heated discussion between O’Malley and White House domestic policy adviser Cecilia Munoz occurred during a phone call late Friday evening, sources familiar with the conversation added.

    Not in my back yard?

    1. Yes, not in my backyard. I saw on Drudge where a Boston suburb, Lynn, Mass is being totally overwhelmed by them. Lynn is not the best Boston burb, but it isn’t Sommerville or Revere either. If this thing continues there are going to be a lot of upstanding liberal white people turning on the Democratic Party.

      1. I think you need to update your references. The Red Line extension has really gentrified a lot of Somerville.

        1. Somerville is the tits! An island of affordability in the SWPL ocean of unaffordable Greater Boston.

          1. Somerville prices aren’t really that much lower than Boston prices, unless you’re in the crappy eastern part that’s a lot more like the Slummerville of old that John is thinking of.

            Disclaimer: I live in the more expensive part of Somerville, and really like the western half of the city (despite the hipsters).

          2. It used to be one of the poorest and most dangerous areas of Boston. Back in the day, even the Irish from Southie didn’t go up there. Sommerville is where the Scotch Irish poor whites were. And even the Mics don’t fuck with them.

    2. From comments: “Another typical liberal demonstrating hypocrisy.

      Let me sound compassionate in public (which is really about making myself look good politically) but make sure that position doesn’t impact me (which he does privately)”

      That pretty much summarizes the progressive species.

      Their hands magically end up in their empty pockets when someone asks for money to help the children!

      1. But Dalmia claims this issue is going to open the borders after people realize how cute these kids are. Ah, not exactly. Kids are all cute right up until you have to pay to take care of them.

      2. No, their hands magically end up in other people’s pockets when someone asks for money to help the children.

    3. They should be sending them to all those “sanctuary” cities. And having the council members and all the advocacy group members take them into their homes.

      Maybe start with Santa Ana and Seattle.

      1. In Maryland, that would be the People’s Republic of Tacoma Park.…..story.html

        I also think the Gentry Liberals of Bethesda would like a few thousand young central americans housed at the NIH campus. [to mow their lawns]

        1. The gentry liberals in Bethesda are fascists. Bring those kids to Bethesda and the Monty county cops will be out busting heads before you can say Beunos Dias. The aging hippies and hipster retards in Tacoma Park, however, are retarded enough to invite them all in and then have no idea why the neighborhood got so bad when they have to relocate to Columbia Heights in a few years.

        2. Ah, but apparently Governor and Presidential Candidate For Real No I’m Not Kidding Stop Laughing At Me Martin O’Malley begged the feds to pass over at least one site in Maryland.

          This actually surprised me. The location being considered was in a rural Republican stronghold, and O’Malley’s favorite pastime is figuring out ways to punish the parts of his state that don’t vote properly.

      2. Santa Ana is already a shithole. There’s no way they would make it worse.

    4. yes, leftists are all about immigration until Jose, Maria and their 16 children move into the neighborhood. Then, the pearl-clutching intensifies.

      Leftists are blatant racists, who feel guilty about it, so they have that white man’s burden thing going on, which is why they always talk about “privilege” etc

      1. All of that and more. Only a doofus like the Jacket could think that letting millions of poor immigrants in the country is actually going to prove to be popular with the people already here. Immigration is like taxes and welfare. Liberals and a lot of proclaimed independents love to say how they support higher taxes and more welfare and help for poor people, just so long as they don’t pay the higher taxes and the poor people are not helped by moving them into their neighborhood. Liberal love immigration as long as it is immigration to somewhere else.

  5. Father freed after a decade in jail as daughter admits she lied about him raping her when she was 11 as she was ‘disappointed in him’
    A 23-year-old woman has told police she lied about her father raping her when she was 11 – accusations that put him behind bars for nine years.

    But Cassandra Kennedy, from Longview, Washington, will not be charged as prosecutors fear it could stop others from reporting sexual assaults….

    1. Shouldn’t that be

      “””fear it could stop others from reporting false sexual assaults….””

    2. Well, sure, it’s well-known that people being prosecuted for making false reports of robberies will prevent real victims of robberies from coming forward.

    3. That is a tough call Johnny. Morally, there is certainly one hell of a case for throwing the book at women who do this. The problem is if you do that women who finally come to their senses and want to do the right thing won’t because they will fear going to jail. If you do nothing, you run the risk of women not being deterred from making false accusations. If punish them, you run the risk of innocent men continuing to rot in jail because their lying accuser is afraid to do the right thing. I am not sure what the right answer is.

      1. If they knew they were likely to get prosecuted if they were lying, it would certainly act as a deterrent. This bullshit about giving only women a pass on giving false testimony on only this one issue is ridiculous. People also can lie about robbery, murder, assault, etc., but prosecuting them for perjury/false filing doesn’t seem to be an issue.

        1. Yes, it is ridiculous. And I would hope it would deter them, but I am not certain. It takes a special breed of crazy and evil to do that. I am not sure someone who is capable of doing that is that responsive to deterrence.

          1. But John, you could make that argument regarding false reporting of any crime. It doesn’t make sense that only false rape accusations get a pass, because the arguments would apply equally to most other types of false accusations.

          2. if you excuse false accusations for one type of crime, then someone is going to make the case for extending that. Laws either matter or they don’t. The immigration thing is similar – we either have laws or we don’t. Shouldn’t matter if they’re violated by cute little urchins or violent drug gangs.

            Just where does this father go to get his reputation back? The man’s life has been ruined. Sorry, but I don’t have much compassion for the accuser here.

      2. So there’s no way to make women accountable for their actions, we just have to hope they have a conscience. That’s tough, there are evil women out there and real victims too.

        1. there are evil women out there

          Seems appropriate

          Evil Woman

      3. The problem with leaving the door open indefinitely for “women who finally come to their senses” is that it also makes it progressively more difficult for the accused to defend themselves.

        It’s not complicated at all. If you knowing make a false accusation, you should be severely punished.

    4. He should sue her the way OJ got sued after he was cleared in criminal court.

      1. She committed the crime at age 11, so there’s that.

        1. Which should, perhaps, make us wonder about the wisdom of sending people to prison based solely on the accusations of children.

        2. This is the only mitigating factor in this whole thing.

          What about the prosecutor and police who failed to vet the accusation in the first place? I don’t know any of the details, but WTF?

  6. Some NASA astronomers are predicting the discovery of alien life in the universe within 20 years.

    And Obama will invite their young to the United States!

    1. And if you thought tuberculosis, typhoid, and polio were bad ….

    2. Knowing Obama, he probably just means to eat them.

      1. “To Serve Aliens” — they can only translate the title.

    3. Some baseball analysts are predicting that the Cubs will win the World Series within 20 years. So what?

      1. Forty years ago cancer was going to be cured in 20 years. So at least we have that. And didn’t Paul Erlich predict mass starvation in 20 years time in the late 60s/early 70s?

        1. I’m still waiting for the colossal thud when it hits the edge of the universe, just out there beyond the Oort cloud.

          1. sigh, replied to wrong post, I’m leaving now.

            1. No, no, it’d be better for everyone if we sent Paul Ehrlich to the Oort Cloud.

        2. “And didn’t Paul Erlich predict mass starvation in 20 years time in the late 60s/early 70s?”

          “The battle to feed all of humanity is over. In the 1970s hundreds of millions of people will starve to death in spite of any crash programs embarked upon now. At this late date nothing can prevent a substantial increase in the world death rate,” he said. He predicted four billion deaths, including 65 million Americans.


          1. The Ghost of Norm Borlaug laughs at Ehrlich.

            1. The Ghost of Norm Borlaug laughs at shits on Ehrlich.


          2. And yet he is still widely respected

            1. And yet he is still widely respected

              That just says volumes about the left, doesn’t it?

            2. And Ehrlich is much, much more widely known than Borlaug. That’s several orders of magnitude beyond pathetic.

          3. Erlich is like the crazy uncle still spewing work he did 55 years ago that never panned out.

            Or Uncle Rico.

        3. 40 years ago we were all going to be under a giant ice sheet by now.

    4. Should be right around the time Voyager leaves the Solar System.

      1. Should be right about the time of Peak Oil.

      2. I have breaking news! Voyager has just left the solar system!

        Editor, please repeat this message each month until Voyager gets beyond the Oort cloud.

        1. By my calculations, Voyager won’t leave the solar system for several billion years. And at that point, it’s more like the solar system is leaving it.

          1. Yes, the solar system extends approximately 4.6 billion light years in every direction, within the influence of the sun’s gravitation. Our acknowledged and absolute hegemony is why, incidentally, no intelligences dare contact us or make their presences known. They cower in terror before the mighty and just legal claims of Sol.

      3. Can’t we just make the solar system end at Pluto’s orbit, like it did when I was a kid?

      1. Rent Seekers R’ Us

    5. I think 20 years is completely reasonable, though it won’t be intelligent alien life. It’ll be some microbes on Mars or in Enceladus’ ocean.

        1. Which will be boring, but if we do encounter intelligent life in the next 20 years we’re fucked.

          1. Kryptonians, Klingons, or Formics? Which would be worse?

            1. What kind of tech do we have? If we’re saying current tech, I’d have to say Klingons would be worse.

              1. Bugs. Bugs ala Klendathu. We’d be toast.

                1. Although, if it were bugs, I suppose we could deploy our vast stockpiles of nerve agents…oh, wait a sec…

          2. It’s the Fermi paradox, you fools! Actually a really interesting read.

            1. Unless we’re the first advanced civilization.

      1. This discussion is silly, because I see alien intelligences at work on this blog every day.

        1. I suspected that you thought of us mortals as strange and kind of sad, but I never guessed you thought of us as a different species.

        2. At first i assumed you were talking about Warty, but then i realized that you’d said “intelligences.”

          1. I use the term in its catholic sense.

        3. We’re just advanced, not alien.

    6. The universe is too big and the time spans are too vast. There almost certainly is (or has been) alien life, and it is unlikely that we will ever encounter it.

      1. So you’re a Great Filterist?

        1. I don’t know what this is and Google didn’t help me. So…maybe?

          1. Search “Nick Bostrom Great Filter”

    7. That has got to be the most intelligence-insulting, empty, ‘trust us’ budget-saving pitch I’ve ever heard.

      1. So you have never had anything to do with DoD then, I take it?

        1. uh, i’m sitting in my office in the 5-sided puzzle palace as I type this…
          And I still take NASA FTW.

          1. And you have seen DoD procurement?!!

            1. Unfortunately; waist deep in it. At least its (theoretically) traced back to an actual requirement.
              What NASA’s doing to preserve relevance, I struggle to come up with a useable DoD analogy for.

          2. You work in the Pentagon?

            Then I expect to see you at the meet up next Wednesday in Old Town.

  7. berated the customer for being insufficiently positive about Comcast’s internet speeds.

    We need net neutrality to defend our right to be ambivalent toward our internet speeds!

  8. Cop is suspended for brawl with aggressive speeding driver he pulled over who turned out to be a superior officer ‘trying to pull rank’… while the lieutenant is merely reassigned
    Miami police officer Marcel Jackson pulled over a speeder as his personal GoPro camera rolled
    Jackson approached the car and the door suddenly flung open and the man stepped out and appeared to argue with Jackson
    When the interaction turned physical, Jackson flung the man to the ground before learning he was Lieutenant David Ramras…..-rank.html
    Doesn’t say if the suspension was with or without pay. I’m guessing without. After all, he tried to enforce the law on another cop. That’s bad. Really bad. I’m surprised he wasn’t fired. Or shot.

    1. Miami, dude. They need to disband the entire force. This is the same group who have been in a pissing contest with the state troopers. I’m only sad the guy wasn’t shot for exiting his vehicle in a dangerous manner.

  9. Methane explosion? Meteorite crater? Scientists baffled by gigantic 262ft hole that has appeared at Siberia’s ‘End of The World’
    Enormous crater appears suddenly in part of Russia whose name translates as ‘the end of the world’
    Teams of scientists are rushing east to fathom the cause of this unusual – and rare – geographical occurrence
    One especially outlandish theory talks about a UFO landing as a possible cause of this colossal chasm in the earth…
    I blame Bush.

    1. One especially outlandish theory talks about a UFO landing

      Maybe NASA just had it’s timing wrong? (see link above)

    2. I blame the Fed. They thought they created that hole in secret. After all, all the money they are printing has to go somewhere.

      1. So they’re actually throwing money into Russia’s hole?

    3. The enormous crater could be caused by global warming

      Well of course. GW pretty much explains everything.

    4. Quit your bitching or Warty will come to your house instead of Siberia next time.

    5. After speaking with a top secret source I have come to this conclusion:

      It is a plausibility test for a dynamically opened missile silo. Imagine normal mining activity masking the assembly and placement of an icbm just underneath the surface. Shape charges that blow the “roof” off for launch. No way to track, monitor, or stop an ICBM hidden in such a way.

    6. Wow, at the other End of the World, in Mexico, they found cavemen eating elephants.


  10. Some NASA astronomers are predicting the discovery of alien life in the universe within 20 years.

    Sounds like they know about something that will render all predictions beyond twenty years pointless.

    1. Are they still tasked to help the Muslims?

  11. South Korean soldier ‘shot dead five comrades because they said he looked like SpongeBob SquarePants’
    The soldier, surnamed Yim, was detained last month after the incident
    Five soldiers were killed and seven were wounded at an army unit in June
    Yim shot himself in the abdomen during a massive manhunt, but survived…..mpage.html

    1. Does he look like SpongeBob?

      (The article doesn’t show any photos that allow us to make that decision.)

      1. I looked for evidence for that too.

        1. Film of soldier:


  12. ‘I’ve got your back’: Super fan shows support for baseball team by shaving player’s jersey number into his hairy back…..-back.html

  13. ‘Fat is not a bad word’: Teen accuses Instagram of size discrimination after her account was removed for underwear selfie
    Instagram has since apologized to Samm Newman, 19, saying it ‘wrongly removed’ her account
    A spokesperson for the social media platform explained the image was ‘flagged’ by fellow Instagram members…..elfie.html

    1. Being fat and out of shape is not an accomplishment to celebrate.

    2. Chillicothe, Ohio, man. Didn’t we go through this last night?

      1. Yeah, but I still had to put in on the Mourning Lynx.

  14. I was poor, but a GOP die-hard: How I finally left the politics of shame

    In 2010, I couldn’t support my own Tea Party candidate for Senate because Sharron Angle was an obvious lunatic. I instead sent money to the Rand Paul campaign. Immediately the Tea Party-led Congress pushed drastic cuts in government spending that prolonged the economic pain. The jobs crisis in my own city was exacerbated by the needless gutting of government employment. The people who crashed the economy ? bankers and business people ? screamed about government spending and exploited Tea Party outrage to get their own taxes lowered. Just months after the Tea Party victory, I realized my mistake, but I could only watch as the people I supported inflicted massive, unnecessary pain on the economy through government shutdowns, spending cuts and gleeful cruelty.

    I finally “got it.” In 2012, I shunned my self-destructive voting habits and supported Obama. I only wished there were a major party more liberal than the Democrats for whom I could vote. Even as I saw the folly of my own lifelong voting record, many of my friends and family moved further into the Tea Party embrace, even as conservative policies made their lives worse.

    Plenty of Derp for your enjoyment.

    1. I instead sent money to the Rand Paul campaign.

      Riiiggghhhttt. Sure you did.

    2. Cliff Notes version: My poor life choices have left me dependent on free stuff.

    3. 0% chance this is real.

      1. My favorite liberal sockpuppets are the “lifetime gun owners” who have left the GOP and the NRA because they have become so radical and won’t agree to common sense reforms. Go to the comment section of any major media article about gun control and you will find this sock puppet. There are apparently millions of “lifetime” gun owners owners out there just all butt hurt because the government doesn’t control them enough.

        1. This is the actual meaning of concern troll, isn’t it?

          1. Yes it is. It is pretending to be from the other side and then explaining why you just can’t agree with them anymore because they have gotten so bad, even someone like you who supports them has come to the conclusion that they must support the other side.

            1. It makes my head hurt just reading that. But I am not a sociopath so I would be completely incapable of pulling that off.

              1. David Brooks has made a career doing it.

        2. Go to the comment section of any major media article about gun control

          I’d rather rip my teeth out one by one without Novocaine.

        3. Just like how everyone in France claimed to be part of la resistance.

      2. I never thought this would happen to me….

        1. It looked like it was going to be just another night at my midwestern voting booth when the curtain parted and the election judge and her hot friend the poll watcher walked in …

          1. And they were even Libertarian (now we know it’s a fantasy)

      3. Hey, if he gave money to Paul, there’s got to be a record of it, right? Can’t just have people funding political speech willy nilly with no oversight. Of course, if there is no such record, I guess someone would have to notify the authorities…

    4. Yes, the conservative, low spending era of 2010.

      1. I remember those times, when I had to fight off runners and clickers with a leadpipe just to get to the grocery store, which had no food, anyway.

        1. Pro Libertate, come out any plaaayyy….

          *clicks bottles together*

          1. For any who don’t know what I’m referring to, it’s the PS3 game, The Last of Us, which I just completed. I really liked it, but I like a good story and characters.

    5. This person isn’t real. Total false flag operation. Well, there’s always cocktail parties to go to.

    6. No joke, same guy wrote “I left the Libertarian Party and Became a Democrat” on Dec. 28, 2013.

      Google it, I’m not even kidding.

      1. So many lies and force needed to make the rest of us accept their views. Truly, deception and coercion are the hallmarks of self-evident truths, are they not?

  15. The Stupidest Article About Guns You Will Ever Read
    …The “types of guns most often recovered from crime scenes and/or used in murders”? Amazingly, they are exactly the same types of guns most often used in defense of one’s person, property, family or nation. Here is the Rolling Stone List of Death:
    Revolvers (also handguns)
    Shotguns and?
    In other words, all guns. Plus Derringers, just for good measure. …

    1. There’s no peak stupid. I’m sure somebody can come up with stupider.

    2. The description of a pistol is comical. Journalists don’t even try to understand the topics they write about anymore.

      1. To make it worse, they think they understand it better than everyone else.

      2. “Its a metal and wood explode-y thing that throws copkillerdeathbulletsofharm.”

      3. “It’s an 88 magnum, it shoots through schools.”

    3. and guns have been around for centuries…

      you could outlaw them all today, but they really aren’t that difficult to make. Not that I would want to fire a homemade blunderbuss…

      1. A couple thousand dollars worth of machine shop equipment and you can make perfectly good revolvers.

        1. A lathe, a mill, a heat treating furnace and some decent steel, and I could make the first one in ten days, the second one in five days, and then one every 2-3 days after that.

          1. Black powder would be even easier.

    4. So no fully automatic assault rifles on the list? The system works!

  16. Connecticut man arrested after stabbing watermelon

    Police say the woman had gone to police on July 4 to report finding drugs, including marijuana, in Cervellino’s tool box. He was not arrested.

    They say she later returned home to find the watermelon on the counter with a butcher’s knife in it. She reported that Cervellino then entered the room and began carving the watermelon. She called the incident passive-aggressive and menacing.

    1. You know who else was passive-aggressive and menacing?

      1. Dennis the Menace?

      2. Me, every time I see a link that was posted previously? 🙂

      3. Porky Pig?

        1. Are there childhood issues you want to discuss?

          1. /drops head.

    2. I was so hoping to read that the watermelon he stabbed was Al Gore.

  17. “CAH has faced its own share of criticism in recent weeks?designers removed cards that made fun of rape and transvestites after people complained about them.”
    This is a crime against humanity. Seriously? the game is literally supposed to offend people ALL people or people who aren’t dead inside.

    1. Basically they’re trying to turn it back into Apples to Apples (aka the boring version for kids).

    2. “Jonah captioned the picture “DEATH TO TRANSPHOBIA.

      The Tumblr post exploded online, amassing tens of thousands of notes. (It was at more than 50,000 at press time.)
      “CAH cards are a lot of terrible things ? racist, sexist, anti-semitic, etc.,” wrote Jonah, who said he is Jewish himself, in a follow-up post. But “laughing at cross-dressers (especially while using an outdated/slur word) is inherently transphobic as well.””

      I’ve heard about this Tumblr thing, and how they love to collectively express outrage.

      I’ve also heard tell that they are a population of pathetic ‘socially-awkward lunatic shut-ins’ and that they are incapable of anything other than outrage, including outrage over their own fecklessness and utter irrelevance to the remainder of the human race.

    3. Does this mean that if you own an uncensored version of CAH it’ll be worth more as a collectors item?

  18. From the linked Jezebel article: The game is especially popular with young nerds who consider themselves liberal…


    1. ie, reddit

    2. Translation: “If they were real liberals they would be humorless scolds addicted to fake outrage like us.”

  19. Thank god porpoises don’t wear tighty-whities:

    Gang of murderous dolphins off the coast of Wales have wildlife officials on alert after four attacks on porpoises

    Bottlenose dolphins off the coast of Wales are in an extra-murderous mood lately, according to concerned volunteers at a wildlife centre who last week watched three of the playful mammals spend 20 minutes ganging up on a porpoise.

    “Although we were close by, they took no notice of us, intent on the attack,” researcher Milly Metcalfe told the BBC, recounting how the dolphins repeatedly pushed the porpoise underwater before throwing it into the air.

    By the time the team from Cardigan Bay Marine Wildlife Centre pulled the battered porpoise aboard it was bleeding from the mouth, suggesting the attack had caused internal injuries.

    1. c-c-c-colors

    2. I assume we will be dispatching John Kerry to broker a peace deal? With backing from the USN.

    3. Dolphins are assholes. Male dolphins will also kill baby dolphins produced by other males.

      1. Never knew. What about porpoises. Is there no good guy in this conflict.

        1. I’ve never heard anything bad about porpoises, but who knows…

          1. for all intents and porpoises….

    4. Wildlife officials on alert…for what? To intervene?
      I’ve often wondered if this is the natural extension of vegan philosophy: if us eating meat is unkind/immoral, then getting between animal predators and prey is the next logical step. No more gazelles for lions; here have some lion chow.

    5. I’m pretty sure a few minutes investigation will show that the dolphins are reacting to stress caused by global warming.

  20. Recycled Ploys: Lois Lerner’s Former Co-Worker at the FEC Also Had Her Hard Drive Recycled During an Inquiry
    “Mr. Bond, we have a saying in Chicago: Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence. The third time it’s enemy action.”

    1. My grandfather liked to say, “The first time is funny; the second time is silly; the third time, you get a spanking.”

      1. It’s funnier in German?

        1. When some of my German relatives came over to visit back in 1985, Grandpa’s “German” was more like a mish-mash of German and English.

          The second time they visited for my sister’s wedding in 1988, they were amazed that I knew who Franz Beckenbauer was. (See, I’ve been following Fu?ball longer than you all think.)

          1. Heh. Then you should have known AC Milan rules. ;

            1. Keep living in the past, Rufus.

          2. I have no idea what happened to the second part of my comment which was:

            Bavaria is on my list of places to visit.

          3. a mish-mash of German and English.

            So Germlish, then?

    2. Fool me once, shame on you. . . .

  21. It’s not just Cards Against Humanity, but Austrlian camper vans:

    Petitioning John Webb ? the founder of Wicked Campers, Paula wrote, “My 11 year old daughter was with her grandfather in the Blue Mountains a few days ago, when she read the slogan: ‘In every princess, there’s a little slut who wants to try it just once’ on the back of a Wicked Camper van.”

    There are some great photos at the link.

    1. That’s pretty awesome. Although I don’t know what a bugger is.

        1. I don’t care if I moused over the link and saw it’s safe, I’m still not trusting you people when you say a link is SFW.

  22. Health survey gives government its first large-scale data on gay, bisexual population

    The National Health Interview Survey, which is the government’s premier tool for annually assessing Americans’ health and behaviors, found that 1.6 percent of adults self-identify as gay or lesbian, and 0.7 percent consider themselves bisexual.

    The overwhelming majority of adults, 96.6 percent, labeled themselves as straight in the 2013 survey. An additional 1.1 percent declined to answer, responded “I don’t know the answer” or said they were “something else.”

    1. “something else.”

      Hopefully it was “why are you wasting my tax dollars on this garbage!!!!!”

    2. In online dating, it’s got to be about half the women listed at bisexual who spend their first paragraph complaining about how they aren’t bi, they’re “queer” (but they do like both men and women).

      1. If they’re under 30, it’s more likely they’re “experimenting”.

        1. I knew a lesbian-turned-bisexual in her mid-20s who met the right guy and decided she wasn’t gay after all. And she was one of those who identified gay in her teens. Anyway, she and her husband are awesome people.

          1. I do think women are more “fluid” than men. It has certainly been more accepted in society for them to be. I doubt you will ever find a male who identified as gay in his teens “changing his mind”.

    3. Seriously…I thought gay was supposed to be 10% of the population or so? Is this suggesting that 7.4% of gay americans don;t admit it to survey-ists?

      1. No. It just shows that the number of actual gays is way overestimated. There are very few people who are gay or bi, as in only are attracted to the same sex or are equally attracted to both such that they will have a relationship with either.

        What often happens is people who maybe had one experience when they were young or women who had a threesome once to please their b/fs but otherwise have no interest in the same sex are classified as gay or bi to make the numbers look larger than they are.

      2. I thought the 10% number was based on research done back in the 1950s (?) Can’t remember the guy’s name now. Since largely discredited.

        1. I think Masters and Johnson who were – as a lot of medical researchers did and do – conducting research on prisoners. Not exactly a random cross-section of the general population.

          1. There was also some guy who was quietly gay himself and conducted research in gay bars. I think I’m remembering that correctly.

      3. it’s the oppressive gay-shaming society!

        On the serious side, I have a gay friend who is really into the lifestyle. She goes on womyn-only camping meet-ups, and is always being invited to yet another party. She has a busy social life.

        I said to my wife, “Damn, wish I was gay just for the social aspects. It’s more than a lifestyle…”

        1. One of my friends from college finally came out as gay recently. I went to a party he had before moving out of his old apartment, and it was literally me, a friend I brought, the host’s brother, a girl that worked with the brother, and 25 gay guys.

          Actually, my new (gay) roommate was annoyed that I didn’t specify that the party was full of gay dudes when I invited him and he declined.

      4. I think it’s higher than 1.6 percent and lower than 10 percent. No way does everyone answer these surveys honestly.

        Not sure why it matters – even 1.6 percent is a lot of people.

    4. Furries man, furries and otherkin. I’ve seen things that make the LBQTWTFBBQ alphabet soup seem like Mister Rodger’s neighborhood. Well, I did meet Mr. McFeely once and he did give off a weird vibe.

      1. Furries just got through with their convention in Pittsburgh. Anthrocon. Just google the pictures, if you dare.

        Otherkin are just a bunch of edgy teenagers who are trying to be the most special snowflakes they can be.

        1. Oh, I went to Anthrocon. It was actually a blast. But I definitely felt like a sexual minority there.

          1. So… we have a Brony and now an admitted Furry.

            What kind of hive of scum and villainy have I fallen into?

            1. You don’t have to be a furry to go to anthrocon. NTTAWWT.

              1. Fly free, waffles! You can come out of the furry closet if you want to. 😉

                1. I did tell people I was a deer named phenix all weekend and enjoyed it. And if that makes me a furry then I am out and proud!

  23. Ok,,we’ve waited long,enough. It’s time to put,together a legit DC Reasonoid meetup.

    I’m thinking next Wednesday to give us all a week to free up the time. Don’t really care where, so we’re open to suggestions. And if nobody comes up with one, I’ll suggest O’Shaugnessys in old town Alexandria. That place is ok, just ask Los Doyers.

    So free up your calendars next Wednesday evening.

    1. I am going to be out of town starting Sunday for three weeks. I am a complete lame social slug. Life never fails to be poorly times. I sit on my ass and do nothing for months. Then you move here and there is a possibility of an actual Washington reasonoid meetup and all hell breaks lose.

      1. Weak!

    2. Count me in, I have not been to O’Shaugnessy’s yet, but I am willing to try it. What time should the meet n drink Guinness start? 7 or so?

      1. 7 works for me.*

        *Because I will have been there for two hours already.

        1. Ha, ok then. And is there going to be a signal or something? Maybe a Libertarian spotlight out front? If so, I imagine it would function pretty well and use minimal power, but most people wouldn’t understand how it works.

          1. It’s a small place so I don’t think you’ll have a hard time figuring out who is with us.

            I’ll be the one smoking a cigar and drinking straight from the pitcher.

    3. *picks up pencil and calendar

    4. Also, any of you can feel free to email me so we can firm it all up. in case you can’t figure out how to open it from my user ID.

  24. I made my husband try a sex robot

    People, specifically male people, tend to think that it must be awesome being married to a sex writer. All the free Tengas and lube and porn, oh my! Indeed, sometimes I tease my husband, Christopher, that he has it so rough when, for example, I tell him that I need to give him an “orgasmic meditation blow job” ? for work. But then there are the less glamorous moments, like when an Autoblow2 arrives in the mail and I ask him to insert his most precious member into a piece of machinery that, in his words, “looks like a coffee grinder.”

    The Autoblow2, which was released today, is, according to its website, “THE CROWDFUNDED BLOWJOB ROBOT EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT!” Picture a Fleshlight, that infamous pleasure tube with the fake labia on one end. Now imagine that inside the Fleshlight is deafeningly loud machinery that causes a pair of rings to grip the artificial-skin sleeve and move up and down at varying speeds. In other words, imagine a Fleshlight that does the work for you. Sounds brilliant, sounds awesome, sounds like THE FUTURE ? until the future is on your genitals, sounding like it might spontaneously combust.

    1. You “made” your husband do it? If so, that’s rape.

    2. Ew.

      /teenage girl

    3. what, no vacuum motor?

    4. “looks like a coffee grinder.”

      Let’s put that one in the ad!

  25. Did you know you’re being sexist when you sit on the train without taking up the minimum space possible, or talk loudly (though if the author does it it’s just being a jerk?)? How about when a 5 year old refuses to share?

    This guy might be a bigger wuss than the guy Johnny mentioned apologizing for being a victim of perjury.

    1. you’re being sexist an asshole when you sit on the train without taking up the minimum space possible


      Guess what ladies, not all men are assholes.

  26. At Dinner Tables, a Restless Obama Finds an Intellectual Escape

    President Obama had just disembarked from Air Force One and was still on the tarmac in Rome when he turned to his host, John R. Phillips, the American ambassador to Italy, with an unexpected request: How about a dinner party tomorrow night?

    Over the next 24 hours, the startled Mr. Phillips and his wife, the former Obama aide Linda Douglass, scrambled to gather some of Italy’s intellettuali.

    The architect Renzo Piano flew in from Genoa. The particle physicist Fabiola Gianotti arrived from Geneva. John Elkann, the chairman of Fiat and an owner of the Italian soccer club Juventus, came, too, as did his sister, Ginevra, a film director. Over a 2006 Brunello, grilled rib-eye and three pasta dishes ? cacio e pepe, all’arrabbiata and Bolognese ? at Villa Taverna, the 15th-century manor that serves as the ambassador’s residence, the group talked until close to midnight about “the importance of understanding science, the future of the universe, how sports brings people together, and many other things,” Ms. Douglass said.

    1. The Idiot King must remain above the troubles of his position on this earth

    2. And this clown claims to care about the environment. I wonder what the carbon footprint of that dinner party was.

      Seriously, every oil and coal company in America ought to be pillorying him in their local media outlets on this alone.

    3. Jesus, under Obama I think the news industry has pretty much lost the small amount credibility at had and article like this comes out everyday, meanwhile most people are just scrapping by. I mean how many articles like this did Bush get? Oh right 0.

    4. his sister, Ginevra, a film director

      I think half of Italy qualifies as film directors.

      1. as long as their daughters look like Giada I don;t care.

    5. If it wouldn’t have made him look like a failure, he probably wouldn’t have run again in 2012. He really doesn’t like the job of being president.

    6. It amazes me how shallow and immature he is. I have done as much drinking and talking shit with smart people as the next person. It is a great hobby of mine. That said, after I hit about 25 or so, I realized that there was more to life than that and the real world was usually more interesting than talking about it. The guy is the fucking President. He has one of the most stressful and interesting jobs in all of the world. And he would rather sit around at boring dinner parties and let people blow smoke up his ass than actually go out and do his job. Pathetic.

      1. He’s a rock star.

        Not a president.

        Sheesh, John.

        Snap, snap.

      2. I think Obama has thrown in the towel already, and he still has another 2 years left. If he hates being the Top Man, then quit already,go back to Chicago and play golf everyday.

        On another note, has anyone else noticed how little time BO has spent w/ his wife and kids this year? Does that seem odd to anyone else? I’ve often wondered if BO has been playing the field recently and MO found out about it. If so, that would just be salacious and pretty amazing.

        1. Being President requires understanding your opposition and compromising with them. Obama lacks the intellectual capacity and imagination to do that. So the job of President no doubt puzzles him and frustrates him to no end.

          1. Well, BO is a classic narcissist, which means he’s never wrong about anything. And when people challenge his authoritah or disagree with him about anything, he can’t handle it. Terrible traits to have for anyone in charge of pretty much anything, and they are the traits of the most powerful person on Earth right now. Ugh.

            1. He is. Regardless of what you think of his ideology, there has never been a person so unsuited to be President to ever hold the office. He could be a Libertarian and he would still be a miserable failure. You can’t succeed as a leader, let alone the President in a government with three co-equal branches unless you possess a tremendous amount of empathy and understanding of your opponents. Obama, being a narcisist possess little if any empathy. He has few political and personal skills beyond a sort of feral intelligence of being able to pick out weak people and tell them what they want to hear. That skill will get you far. But it doesn’t work when you are President since your opponents are not going to want more than lip service.

    7. Any guesses whether, after traveling hundreds of kilometers to have a dinner party, they discussed the evils of global warming?

    8. And despite this, he still insisted on pronouncing Juventus, ‘Jew-ventus.”

      1. JOOOOOS!!11!!!

  27. Hello. I’ve been a regular reader of HR and the comments for a while now, but it wasn’t until recently that I became bored enough to actually create an account and join in. I hope to be shown the same amount of respect you seem to show one another: very, very little.…..-disgrace/

    That said, I enjoyed this article on everyone’s favorite economic antagonist and his less than heralded exit from Princeton. Did not see it in the links, so here it is.

    1. Pauly Krugnuts is a much better name than Krugtron the Invincible.

      1. I prefer to refer to him as the former Enron adviser.

    2. I hope to be shown the same amount of respect you seem to show one another

      Well, you can jolly well hope all you want, but deserves got nothing to do with it.

      1. Since when do we show each other any respect at all?

        1. Well, he did say “very, very little”.

          1. So he’s obviously been lurking for quite a while.

    3. Krugman, perversely standing with Nixon, takes a reactionary, not progressive, position. The readers of the New York Times really deserve better.

      they won’t get it.

    4. Paul Krugman being derided can not happen enough.

      I hope to be shown the same amount of respect you seem to show one another: very, very little.

      [inappropriate comment about boobs and/or moobs deleted by the NSA]

      1. Did you read the Nial Ferguson takedown? I don’t always agree with Ferguson, but agree or disagree with him, Ferguson is a very smart guy and a serious historian. He absolutely destroyed Krugman. It was like one of those pro wrestling matches where the good guy comes out of the locker room and takes on the villain who just picked on one of the ring babes or something. It was just one long brutal intellectual beating. Ferguson went for the folding chair and used it on Krugman’s head, about 30 times.

        1. I didn’t read the Ferguson piece but you are right: he is one smart cookie. Unfortunately, he tends to fall into that British “Great Nation” kind of thinking. But he is quite the iconoclast when it comes to history.

          Also, on a completely unrelated note, he dumped his wife to marry Aayan Hirsi Ali.

          1. Wow. I didn’t know that. Go and read the Ferguson piece. They are great. Sure, Krugman is an easy target, but he was a fat target who deserved it. And even though Krugman is an easy target, Freguson does a magnificent job and runs up the score.

        2. I read it. Krugman almost got what he deserved. As brutal as Ferguson was, he didn’t go quite far enough. In my opinion, anyway.

          1. In fairness, I don’t think you could publish the beating the Krugman deserves in a g-rated publication.

            1. A guy can dream, can’t he?

        3. Ferguson disappointed me greatly for completely ignoring Renaissance Italy in its role in capitalism during one of his history docs. Not even a mention. I know the Brits have problems with Italian history but that was ridiculous.

          1. The best British Historian right now for my money is John Julius Norwich followed by Paul Johnson. Ferguson is at best a distant third. But he is still pretty good.

          2. How can you ignore all those banks? Many people don’t realize that’s what made the Medici the Medici. Their political power only came after they achieved insane wealth. For a good while, I believe they owned the biggest banking operation in Europe.

            In other words, some of the greatest art ever produced was commissioned by a bank.

          3. A great book was Medici Money. An awesome accounting of how Cosimo built a 2 century empire in banking. We use many of the same banking techniques today. He also said “Never lend to the king”. Which is grandson didnt heed and that started the fall.

          4. What are you talking about?

            I love Ferguson…and his amazing book The Ascent of Money spends chapters detailing the importance of the Medici family’s banking roots and of Italian banking in general.

            It’s…the scaffolding of the whole work. Amazing book. One of my favorites. You must be complaining about a time/editing thing. He certainly knows and recognizes the importance of the Italian contribution to finance.

    5. Suki?

    6. To be accepted, you must first read all of the Chronicles of Warty, and then give your positions on deep dish pizza, circumcision, abortion, and beer crafting.

      After that, you have to wrestle STEVE SMITH.

      1. Don’t forget Epi’s mom

        1. I’m still trying to forget.

      2. Oh, also he should give his opinion on posting the same thing someone else just said…

        1. Your list was better than mine.

          1. So you’re saying it’s better to be the best than the fastest?

      3. – Deep-Dish Pizza

        its not real (or if it was, its definitely not a food. I suspect its some strange midwestern sex-act)

        – Circumcision

        no thanks

        – Abortion

        I barely escaped

        – Beer crafting

        Beer is for drinking, not for talking and beard-stroking

    7. First you need to tell us your opinion on the important issues:

      abortion, deepdish pizza, circumcision, threaded comments, registration, alt-text, diabetics, nicole’s worstness

    8. You a Brown’s fan?

  28. Pilot mistake means pingpong balls rain on highway

    A pilot who dropped 3,000 pingpong balls that were redeemable for prizes missed a crowd assembled for the stunt and instead hit a nearby interstate.

    Organizers immediately called off the contest. Aaron Moon and helpers on Saturday told revelers at Blackfoot Pride Days not to risk retrieving the pingpong balls amid high-speed traffic because organizes still planned to pass out the prizes.

    Moon says a new pilot attempted the drop this year, but apparently didn’t understand that pingpong balls lose speed quickly and drop straight down.

    1. “As God is my witness, I though ping pong balls could fly”?

    2. Huh. Was Captain Kangaroo there?

        1. I am a disciple of him and, of course, Mr. Greenjeans.

    3. “…And that how the Blackfoot Massacre of ’14 began. It ended with a 38 car pileup”

  29. 67 giant African snails, meant for human consumption, seized at LAX

    Two picnic baskets packed with 67 live giant African snails were seized by federal authorities at Los Angeles International Airport, authorities said Monday.

    The snails, which weighed a total of more than 35 pounds and reportedly were intended for human consumption, was apparently the largest seizure at LAX of the mollusks, which are sometimes fried and served as a snack.

    1. “We’re gonna need a shitload of butter. And all the garlic you have.”

    2. You can argue for escargot, but I still don’t understand wanting to consume a snail that can eat through plaster and whose slime causes gastro-intestinal cysts.

      1. I had a pasta a few months ago served with a sauce involving squid ink, lobster, and, surprisingly, escargots. It was delicious.

        1. escargot is not the giant african snail, which is why I said you could argue for escargot. The eight inch gastropod that eats through walls is a different monster.

          1. BIG SNAIL, BIG FLAVOR!

            /Gastropod Grocery, Inc.

          2. Speaking of that, I found a horse conch while at the beach here. Friggin’ huge and freaky looking. Anyway, I found out while at a nature museum down in South Florida that horse conchs prey on other mollusks, using their freakiness to drag other mollusks out of their shell.

  30. Police try to cover up a beating. DoJ charges them with violation of civil rights.…..b2370.html

    Oddly enough, the internal investigation done by the beater’s co-workers showed that the officers all after properly. Like they always do.

    1. Charged doesn’t mean convicted. They’ll walk. They always do.

      1. Baby steps. At least the DOJ is doing its job for once.

    1. They should play Wagner. After a few minutes his rich and menacing tones will have NSA spies wishing for Beiber.

      1. Hey! Wagner is better than he sounds!

        1. I enjoy Wagner.

          1. His operas are an acquired taste, but once you acquire it, you realize why he is such a big deal. They have grown on me.

          2. “A beautiful sunset that was mistaken for a dawn.”

            – Debussy on Richard Wagner

            1. Verdi and Wagner delighted the crowds
              With their highly original sound
              The pianos they played are still working
              But they’re both six feet underground

              They’re decomposing composers
              There’s less of them every year
              You can say what you like to Debussy
              But there’s not much of him left to hear

    2. I wish someone would explain to Reason that our government spying on other governments is what they are supposed to do. I am all for going after the NSA. But I wish we would not kill them for the one time they seem to have actually done their jobs.

      1. But they’re doing it so very badly.

        And, of course, the whole Germany thing blew up in the NSA’s face because of their illegal domestic spying. They’ve done nothing well here.

  31. Having trouble picking up women? Well, become a cop and investigate violent crimes. The victims of those crimes are often low-hanging fruit according to this enterprising Frisco, Texas cop.…..trials.ece

    1. Cops actually investigate crimes? I thought they just filled out paperwork and then waited for the phone to ring.

      1. Hmm, kind of the way most reporters write stories?

      2. Looks like his investigations only went as far as getting the victims phone number and sending her pictures of his night stick.

  32. Holder: America Should Be ‘Color Brave,’ Not Color Blind

    With all due respect, exactly WTF is it that he keeps going on about? Lord knows, I’ve even checked my privilege, and I still don’t understand.

    1. Color brave means America being brave enough to let Obama do anything he wants.

    2. This man needs to be taken out and whipped.

      1. I know righ…. oh, wait

    3. He means, if people don’t talk about race, then it’s a lot harder to find the heretics, and you can’t burn the heretics if you can’t find them.

  33. Holder: America Should Be ‘Color Brave,’ Not Color Blind

    As it stands, our society is not yet colorblind; nor should it be, given the disparities that still afflict and divide us. We must be color brave and must never forget that all are made better and more prosperous if all are given equal opportunities…

    We must take into account not only the considerable steps forward we’ve seen over the last 50 years, but the entirety of the experience that people of color have faced. And we must never hesitate to confront the fact, the undeniable truth, that in too many places across this nation that I love ? and have served throughout my life ? that the echoes of injustices stretching back nearly four centuries continue to reverberate. These echoes from times past are still heard by too many.


      1. America should be ‘refresh brave,’ not refresh blind.

    1. Your post was an echo

    2. It took 9/11 to put a stop to all the blathering about “reparations” last time. We are DOOOOMED.

  34. Sqaw on warpath, says government shutdown was all about birth control.

    “Remember last year’s government shutdown that nearly tanked our economy?” Warren asked. “That fight started with a GOP effort to hold the whole operation of the federal government hostage in order to try to force Democrats and the president to let employers deny workers access to birth control.”

    “Well, we rejected the hostage-taking. Democrats said ‘no.’ The president said ‘no.’ The American people said ‘no’ to this offensive idea.”…..h-control/

    I thought it was because the racist Republicans wanted to deprive the first black President of his signature achievement. Now she tells me.

    1. “Remember last year’s government shutdown that nearly tanked our economy?”

      No, I don’t. I remember a week or so that had little effect on most people, except for government-sector workers who thought not getting their gravy train was going to be the end of the world.

      1. Warren is so stupid and unpleasant, she makes Obama seem serious, competent and likable by comparison.

        1. I usually think that leftists are more evil than stupid – but in this case I may have to make an exception.

      2. I remember the “shutdown” that demonstrated how little our economy actually needs the government at all.

      3. As i recall, the takeaway was that even the most virulently statist national government since at least the 40s found 2/3 of federal jobs to be nonessential.

    2. Warren beat war drum. Warren no smokem peace pipe with fork-tongued white devils.

    3. Let’s go ahead and accept that this is what actually happened and that not buying something for someone is denying them access…

      Considering that you just lost in the Supreme Court, doesn’t that mean that you were holding the whole operation of the federal government hostage for a fight that you were going to lose anyway?

    4. So, women shut down the entire government just to ensure they could some fairly inexpensive shit for free? Maybe this whole 19th amendment thing wasn’t such a good idea.

  35. “A California man who fell off a cliff while drunk can sue two acquaintances who brought him there, a state appeals court has ruled.”…..ere_to_wa/

    1. Unless they brought him there drunk as some kind of a prank, this is California finally just abandoning tort law and deciding that liability doesn’t depend on negligence and duty of care and such but instead is just about proximity and the need to hold somebody liable for everything.

      1. I’m okay with this. They created their own duty by knowingly bringing him there drunk. Duty (created by their own actions), breach (created when they didn’t mitigate their own actions), causation (goes with the first two), damages (he fell off a cliff). Four basic prongs of negligence hit.

        This also doesn’t hit on what percentage of fault a jury would put on the drunk man (though I’m not sure what contributory negligence theory that California uses).

        1. Did he want to go? Was he obviously drunk? If so, then yes.

          1. Well, that’s for a jury to decide, isn’t it? And on summary judgment, the facts are looked at in the best possible light for the person not making the motion, so I can agree why this should go to a jury. Says nothing about the facts of the case or whether the guy deserves a dime, but I do agree with the judge that this should go to a jury.

            1. I know that. I am just wondering what set of facts would cause me to declare them liable. I disagree with the idea of comparative negligence. If you contribute at all to your own injury, you should be out of luck.

              If you are drunk and insist on going rock climbing, do I have a duty to stop you? I don’t think so. But with comparative negligence I effectively do.

  36. Happy Birthday to Phoebe Cates!
    I expended a lot sexual energy for/at her.

    1. I didn’t know you were Judge Reinhold.

    2. and by expend, you mean your Purity of Essence?

  37. This was highlighted in a Brickbat today, but seems to have been overlooked:

    Fundamental pillars of the criminal justice system may be eroded whichever party wins the election this year, as both National’s and Labour’s proposals would look into changing the right to silence or the presumption of innocence in rape cases.


    Auckland University law professor Warren Brookbanks said both policies challenged two fundamental principles: the right to silence, and the presumption of innocence, which are both protected in the Bill of Rights Act.

    That is some terrifying shit.

    1. “If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear.”

      1. This law goes to 11.

  38. “Finding aliens” is misleading. What will be found will probably be biological markers in the atmospheres of extrasolar planets. Things like molecular oxygen that are not 100% definitive signs of life, but that are very very suggestive.

    Twenty years seems a bit optimistic to me. Maybe if we get lucky and find the right planetary system. To have a really good chance, we’ll need nextgen telescopes, which will probably take more than 20 years to build. I’d bet lots of money that it will happen within my lifetime, though (let’s say 40-50 years).

    1. Yeah I think suggestive evidence is all we can hope for until a warp drive or FTL communication becomes possible. Hitler’s Olympics have barely spread in a 200 light year radius around us which is like a pinprick sized hole on a map of the galaxy painted on your bedroom wall.

      1. You don’t have to wait for those technologies (assuming they are even physically possible). You just have to commit to multi-generational missions. Based on the statistics that we know now, it isn’t crazy to think that a planet with biosignatures can be found within 10s of light years from Earth. There are theoretical propulsion methods based on sound physics that could make a trip like that possible on the timescale of 100s of years. So an unmanned probe could visit such a planet and then send back the information it finds. It would require a lot of tech development, but it’s not outlandish.

        1. It’s not outlandish but humans have a relatively short time preference. I do think FTL communication is possible. While quantum entanglement could likely never be used for communication purposes (observer effects randomizes the binary data), it does show that there are shortcuts around the speed of light that are within the laws of nature.

    2. I suspect we’ll encounter some life in the solar system before much longer. Mars remains a possibility, and several moons have liquid water.

      1. Realistically, I think the most you’ll find on Mars are fossils. But I agree that Europa is a real possibility for finding a functioning ecosystem. There are others, but they haven’t been studied as well. And a robotic mission to Europa’s oceans is absolutely feasible.

        1. All these worlds are yours, except Europa. Attempt no landings there.


          1. You know, I’d like to have a monolith for my office. Desk-sized, but in the perfectly exact proportions of 1:4:9.

        2. I bet you a blink tag that we find subsurface life on Mars.

  39. An unbelievably nightmarish Comcast service call is giving the company very bad PR at a time when it wants the federal government to approve its merger with Time Warner Cable

    At a time when a bunch of dumbfucks are clamoring to enact “net neutrality” legislation to cartelize the industry. I beleive it was Thomas Jefferson who said “At any given moment, we are less than a cunt hair from tyranny.”

    1. My second favorite Presidential quote, right behind Abraham Lincoln’s “Anything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough”

      1. That sounds like something ole Anal Abe would say.

    2. How the hell can you further cartelize the telecom industry short of outright nationalizing it?

      1. You can codify anti-competitive laws that forbid the existence of other telecoms for example. Or the FCC can dictate how much bandwidth each customer is allowed to have etc. There’s lots of ways. Statists are creative, in a sociopathic rights violating kind of way.

      2. In fact just go look up the contents of the last “net neutrality” bill floated through congress and you’ll probably find a thousand pages full of ways to further cartelize the industry. Kind of a ridiculous question really.

  40. For years, the University of California at Los Angeles has violated state law and continued to practice race-based affirmative action

    These clandestine racists are the worst.

    1. Oh you don’t think certain racial/ethnic groups should be given privileges on the basis of their phenotype? You sir, are a racist. /progspeak

    2. These clandestine racists are the worst.

      Not having read the story, am I to assume that this is not about the fact that if the University System of California did not practice race-based affirmative action to let in some white folks that the system would be about 95% Asian-American?

  41. From the Max Temkin link, I posit that this is the greatest comment ever posted to Jezebel:…..1605362116

  42. No inflation here, Hershey raising prices.…..d=HP_River

    1. That is about 60 times normal awesomeness.

      1. oops – meant that for the comment above re: Jezebel comments.

        Hershey raising prices? Meh – their chocolate sucks and I won’t eat it any more. My money goes to creamy, smooth, delicious Dove and Godiva now…

        1. Spoken like a true America hating commu-nazi.

  43. The P1 story on a kid who killed a police dog during a break-in and received a sentence 23x longer than the cop that executed Oscar Grant…and infinitely longer than those who murdered Kelly Thomas.…..tired-K-9/

    The comments call for everything from summary execution to a desire for this person to be raped repeatedly. And these are the people leftist a say are the only ones qualified to own guns.

    1. WILL. NOT. CLICK.

      I don’t want to go to my meeting in a rage.

    2. I hate that website and every worthless fuck in the commentariat. You read those comments? People hailing a 23 year sentence for killing a cop’s dog, while cops doing the EXACT same thing to other people’s animals, that is illegally entering their home and shooting their dog get absolutely no punishment at all.

      This is why I hate cops. This is why the statist system can never be transformed into a system founded on principles of liberty and justice.

    3. Police illegally enter your property and break into your home and kill your dog… procedures were followed, or more training will be given out. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENS!

      A private citizen does this at a cop’s house, and he gets 23 years in jail? I’m not saying the guy does not deserve to be punished, but let’s be equitable about doling out punishment.

      1. Equitable: this perp gets a six month taxpayer-funded vacation while his buddies look into what he did long enough for “civilians” to stop,paying attention.

        That kind of equitable?

        1. Is there any other kind of equity?

  44. Kitty vs. Alligator. “That’s my food, bro!”

    1. “Yeah, you *better* run! Come back any time if you want some more!”

      1. Yeah, just so everyone knows this in advance, alligators prey on cats and dogs when they encounter them. They have warnings in the Everglades about not walking your pets in certain areas. Ditto for the handful of crocodiles.

        1. Its meant to be cute, not factually accurate!

          1. I just don’t want anyone complaining when Florida eats their pets. Did I mention the pythons? The guide in the ‘Glades said they estimate there are 100,000 living down there. Waiting. Watching. Judging.

  45. “The way in which our representative communicated with him is unacceptable and not consistent with how we train our customer service representatives.’


    Its *exactly* how you train them – you just don’t realize that that is what you’re doing. You give a couple of quick classroom lectures and figure the training is done. Except the training is never done.

    Now these guys get to their phones and are told by the office manager that they need to reduce the numbers of customers cancelling (because *he’s* getting pressured by *his* boss to work the problem) so they get trained to read between the lines and implement these sorts of things ‘on their own’ (to allow deniability to the company CoC).

    If they don’t learn they get fired – its all evolution in action.

    As libertarians like to say, ‘incentives matter’.

  46. Yeah, a consistently annoying experience can induce people to shop elsewhere where they have a more pleasant experience.
    Let’s go ahead and accept that this is what actually happened and that not buying something for someone is denying them access…

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