Government Scientists Left Smallpox Lying Around, Obama Slammed Over Immigration Missteps, Paul Leads GOP Pack: P.M. Links


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  1. A few forgotten vials of the stuff were found in an unused storage room at the National Institutes of Health.

    Next to the Arc of the Covenant.

    1. That comment is a surprising twist to the story ark.

      1. It’s a transmitter! A radio for speaking to Skwerlz!

    2. Is that picture and the measles pic a few days back really necessary?

  2. A pox on everyone!

    1. idk about you guys, but THAT is some quality alt-text

      1. So is J D “2Chili”‘s better than Ed “Kray-kray”‘s alt-text from the AM Links? Where’s the voting thread?

    2. Reason, if you never show that picture again, I’m OK with that.

  3. Holy shit Brazil

    1. No shit. I was going to watch it and I was a bit late getting to a TV and it was already 2-0. WTF?

      1. They’re probably all jacked up for the impending re-release of Mein Kampf.

        1. You know who else scored a lot in Brazil?

          1. My godfather?

            1. This guy was your god father?


      2. I still have it on but it’s tough to watch. Brazil has no fucking idea what they are doing.

        1. Will the Brazilians now regret spending all that money on a f***** stadium?

        2. The conspiracy theories will be flying by halftime.

          I was just listening last night to an interview with a couple of Al Jazeera journalists who have lifted the lid on some serious Singapore-based match-fixing. Wrote a book about it called Kelong Kings. Their source was allegedly a major match fixer and had supposedly “predicted” the Croatia-Cameroon slaughter, complete with prediction of the 1st half red for Song.

        3. Deutschland Uber Alles! 5 more goals to tie the record.

        4. Now 6-0. Jesus, why are any Brazilians still at the stadium?

          1. Waiting for the post game riot.

            1. *Laughs nervously*

        5. Well, if you’re of Bavarian descent like me, that match was easy to watch. 🙂

          1. I’ve lived in Bavaria… close enough. I’m doing my happy dance 🙂

          2. You know who else was of Bavarian descent?

    2. After the third goal the camera showed a little Brazilian boy sobbing. Poignant sure, but disappointment really is the quintessential football experience.

      I’m laughing like a jackal, of course. Please God let us have Germany v Netherlands in the final, with the Dutch to win

      1. I may have laughed hysterically when I saw the sobbing boy.

        1. I know I did.

      2. Of course the krauts are winning, I was rooting for Brasil. Look out orange!

        1. The nazis who stayed are beating the ones who fled?

          1. I thought they went to Argentina and became Peronists?

      3. “disappointment really is the quintessential football experience”

        So many people don’t understand this, and it’s absolutely true, and it’s what makes the game wonderful, paradoxically.

        1. I thought Brazil was going to lose, anyway, but without Neymar, this game was looking to be over before it began.

          1. Neymar doesn’t keep the ball out of their net. That’s a shitty excuse. So is them missing Thiago Silva, even though he IS responsible for keeping the ball out of the net and is captain. Brazil just completely collapsed.

            1. It’s a pretty significant pair of losses, and let’s not forget that the inability to attack can result in a huge amount of pressure on your defense.

              1. It’s not a 5-goal loss in a semifinal. Don’t be silly. They’re completely gone mentally.

                The US only lost to Germany 1-0 despite having an almost total inability to attack.

                1. Many said the same thing about France.

                  1. Which thing? Being gone mentally or losing 1-0 despite having a complete inability to attack?

                    Still doesn’t explain 5-0 down at halftime.

                    1. Being mentally gone as the Wehrmacht rolled through France like a hot knife through soft, French cheese.

        2. I can’t find the article. It said that w/ its low scoring, Soccer is the sport where luck plays the biggest role. The more advanced the competition, the more evenly matched athletically the competitor are, and so luck plays a bigger role in major sporting events than smaller ones. Their evidence is how teams in various sports do against the spread.

          Put them together, and the World Cup is a crapshoot.

          1. Seems that article is completely and totally full of shit.

            8 countries have ever won. The one currently getting their faces beat in have won it 5 times (their opponents doing the beating have won it 3 times).

            Luck my fucking ass.

            1. It plays a role in any sport, but luck tends to wash out most upstarts before the final. For instance, the U.S. had an opportunity to beat Belgium. If it had, I rather suspect they’d have advanced no further. It’s a decent team (especially in goal), but not one that is likely to beat top teams consistently. Not quite yet.

            2. Here’s the article from NYTimes’s house libertarian, John Tierney:


              1. That’s all great, but in the aggregate, the best teams manage to always end up at the top. That’s not just luck.

                And there’s this from the article:

                That’s the paradox of skill in sports, business and most other competitions: As the overall level of skill rises and becomes more uniform, luck becomes more important. Mr. Mauboussin has calculated that luck matters less in English soccer’s Premier League than in the N.F.L. and in Major League Baseball, because the American leagues have evened the level of skill among teams by sharing revenue, imposing salary caps and giving better draft choices to the weaker teams.

          2. Single elimination baseball is way more of a crapshoot.

            Best of 7 is mostly a crapshoot.

            1. Much more so than the regular season, absolutely.

              1. That’s why the old way made more sense. Win the pennant, then play in the World Series. Even though that could go with some luck the “wrong” way, at least there wasn’t much question the two best teams overall were playing. Even the pre-wildcard system was better.

        3. Someone here justified their dislike of football by saying it was cruel and unfair. Feature, not bug. It really does out you through the emotional wringer. As a United fan, I have bizarrely really enjoyed the agony and ecstasy of the last three years almost as much as the relentless winning of the previous 20

          1. Ah, so you’ll be pleased to know I’m a City fan. 🙂

            1. Fuck everything in manchester. Unless you are playing liverpool.

            2. Coventry City? Leicester City? 😉

              (If I were going to root for any team in England, it would be Leicester City, because they had Kasey Keller the last time they were in the EPL, and because my sister used to live in Leicester, MA.)

    3. I think Brazil spent all their energy on singing the national anthem. The Germans better have arranged accommodation far away in the jungle before they play the final…

      1. Have they stabbed, quartered and beheaded anyone yet? I haven’t been paying much attention to the World Cup, but I might get invested if there was some good old fashioned beheading going on.

        1. They for sure will. This can get very ugly.

  4. Libertarian candidates show strength in roughly seven Senate races this year.


    1. Libertarian moment.

      Where’s Winston?

    2. Well, with that noted “more-libertarian-than-any-other” President in the White House, what would you expect?

      1. How long is it going to take Welch to live down that BS article?

        1. Forever seems about right.

        2. How long is it going to take Welch to live down that BS article?


        3. I don’t recall. Was Matt one of the Reasonistas who voted for Obama in ’08?

        4. Matt Welch seriously still things the government shutdown was a terrible mistake for the GOP and that-get ready folks-it lead to raising the debt ceiling. He actually said that. Welch and Suderman are idiots but at least Suderman has a sevant-like talent for doing policy analysis right.

    3. The Libertarian party is the party of the future. And, it always will be.

      1. I read it twice and realized this is funny. And, sadly, all too true.

  5. Libertarian candidates show strength in roughly seven Senate races this year. North Carolina’s Sean Haugh polls between 8 and 11 percent.

    But, but! Your votes belong to us! – Team Red

    1. If your votes always serve to put Team Blue into power, and they seem to, I would say your votes belong to Team Blue.

      1. Maybe Team Red needs to stop being so dismissive of the substantial libertarianesque minority within its ranks.

        1. I agree, but John’s point still stands.

          1. My “none-of-the-above” belongs to no one.

          2. Both parties are on a path to destruction. The Democrats just want to put rocket engines on the car.

            1. Sadly true.

      2. If your votes always serve to put Team Blue into power, and they seem to, I would say TEAM RED needs to work a lot harder for your votes belong to Team Blue.

        1. +1 vote for us cuz we suck less.

          1. One could argue that choosing things that suck less is an important principle in life.

            1. Except for those things you wish would suck more.

      3. Sarvis helped Cuccinelli

        1. That one is “the exception that proves the rule.”


        1. ^^This is what assholes actually believe^^

          1. Do you also not understand how numbers work?

            1. Why yes I do know how numbers work. And ad hominem too!

      5. Because remember: Not giving is taking!

  6. So, it appears Germany is up 5-0 already.

  7. Nice photo, guys.

  8. Did somebody kidnap the Brazillian national team and replace them with people who’ve never seen a soccer ball before?

  9. I have a great idea for the whole kids-at-the-border problem: offer them citizenship for military service in our inevitable combat return to the Middle East.

    1. Child soldiers?

      1. Children’s Crusade 2.0

      2. More human shields than soldiers, really.

        Operation get behind the children.

        1. Have to make sure they’re stationed away from any blue helmets…

      3. Kids like playing video games. Recruit them as drone pilots.

    2. Mexicanisaries?

      1. Now that…that’s quality.

    3. I thought we were going to offer them citizenship in return for playing for the national soccer futbol team.

  10. President Obama is getting the business for his deer-caught-in-headlights response to the influx of tens of thousand of unaccompanied immigrant children in recent months.

    To be fair, he only just found out about it from the news.

  11. Holy Fuck, 0-5 GERMANY…

    1. I was not really rooting for one side or the other, but, damn, I cannot watch the game anymore.

      1. Is this all due to the fact that they lost their main striker and their captain was suspended?

        1. There’s no way it’s all down to that. They are, by several reckonings, including my own, the weakest of the semifinalists, but they’re not THAT bad.

          I think the pressure finally got to them.

          1. Germany has been looking better and better as the Cup goes on. I think they’re going to win it now, which I didn’t think earlier on.

            I just learned today that the Netherlands has never won it before, which surprised me.

      2. I really wanted Germany to win, but now I’m not even sure I want to watch this when I get home. I feel a weird sort of sympathy for Brazil, a team I have grown to dislike very much.

        1. I wonder if we’ll be seeing Hyperion around tonight or if his wife will accidentally kill him in a fit of rage?

          1. They’ll be too depressed to kill anyone. Unless they commit mass ritual suicide.

            The booing at the halftime whistle was epic.

        2. Same. I wanted Germany to win, but not like this! Not… not like this.

    2. You win.

  12. Holy fuck 5-0?

    1. By the transitory principle the US would be beating Brazil 4-0 right now?

      1. transitivity?

        1. transient?

          1. Tranny-tivity is when a dude plays Mary at Christmas. Coming to a town near you.

            1. T-Slur, please

          2. Transphobic

          3. Check your cis-privilege

  13. I think my mind has broken.

    5-0 and only just over a half hour in.

    1. “5-0 and only just over a half hour in.”

      So a field-goal and a safety? Ah, well.

  14. Paul is also teaming up with Sen Cory Booker (D-N.J.) on a proposal to make criminal sentencing around the country less draconian.

    Do we really want our next president to be soft on crime? Future President Booker?

  15. Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) and Hillary Clinton are the leading contenders for their parties’ respective presidential nominations, the latest poll says.

    Sheldon Adelson will primary Rand, and if he fails, will throw his resources behind Hillary.

    1. Yep, because Rand committed heresy by suggesting cutting foreign aid to Israel, and Adelson is an Israel-firster.

      1. One thing I missed while on vacation was Israel gearing up to blow the shit out of Gaza. I take it they got rocket attacked again?

        1. Yes. There has been another flare-up in the ongoing war between the landgrabbers and the displaced.

    1. I couldn’t get past this idiocy:

      “If we sit down to dinner at a restaurant, both order a pork chop and yours is twice as big as mine, I might go away unhappy,” a researcher says.

      1. Yeah, I was a bit perplexed by that as well… because meat isn’t sold by weight?

  16. Seriously, what’s happening?

    I had to reposition my XM antenna when it was still 1-0 up. By the time I got a decent signal, it was 5.

  17. Boy’s free library can stay, for now
    Oh, wonderful bureaucrats. Thank you for granting permission (temporarily, of course) to this kid, so he can keep his little structure up. All praise these great and wonderfully beneficent rulers!

    1. Nice, but I would have rather seen him sue the municipality and get a big FA smackdown on them.

    2. So these worthless fucks should only be tarred and feathered instead of beaten with 2×4’s?

  18. Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) and Hillary Clinton are the leading contenders for their parties’ respective presidential nominations, the latest poll says.

    I keep seeing Rand leading in a lot of different places, but a lot of major news outlets (including The Economist) don’t even include him in stories about 2016. Either they are afraid of him and don’t want to give him credibility, or think he is another version of his father and don’t think he has a reasonable chance.

    1. They’re sh scared. The duopoly game will be up when the people realize that they have a lot more to gain by limiting government.

  19. SJWs in the wild, Hobby Lobby edition:

    Upset about the Hobby Lobby ruling and all those poor employees? Go scatter stuff around and make them work harder.

    1. I see she’s fat.

      1. Complete with shitty tats.

        1. That was very nice of her to provide the photo for the “do not admit this woman to the store” flyer.

          I have to wonder what other ruling can make the proglodytes behave even more like pretentious bat-shit loons, stomping their feet in a screaming tantrum.

          1. I have to wonder what other ruling can make the proglodytes behave even more like pretentious bat-shit loons, stomping their feet in a screaming tantrum.

            Wait until Rand Paul carries 46 states over Hillary. I will bathe in their tears.

            1. I will bathe in their tears.

              You’ll have no choice, with all the flash-flooding.

        2. Fat, shitty-tatted, and smug about meaningless “subversive” activity that absolutely no one will give a shit about.

          1. Um, the feministing crowd seems very impressed by this. Not that they have any moral stature, of course, but they do have numbers.

            1. Ok, absolutely no one at Hobby Lobby or in any of the “enemy” circles will give a shit about.

    2. “I guess we *do* need birth control, with all these *dicks* around!”

      1. That woman has built in birth control.

    3. Someone may wish to point out to this activist that Hobby Lobby already does provide birth control pills to employees, no need for her to hand them a bag (which is also an illegal transfer of prescription medication, by the way).

      They provide 16 of 20 possible birth control options, but no need to let the facts get in the way of your trespassing to disturb private property!

      1. This isn’t about birth control. It is about choice….just not in the way the feministers say it is.

    4. Passive-aggressive, narcissistic, and completely counter-productive. You couldn’t parody these people if you tried.

    5. So if some prolifers do a similar thing at a firm that offers abortifacients, will it be some simple fun, or will it be a mean attack on women’s rights by intolerant uneducated bigots?

      1. When the correct people do it, it’s speaking truth to power. When the incorrect do it, it’s a hate crime.

        1. Goddammit PD, that phrase is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Just reading it, or worse, hearing someone say it, makes my hackles go up and my skin crawl.

          Truth to power. *shudder*

  20. President Obama is getting the business for his deer-caught-in-headlights response to the influx of tens of thousand of unaccompanied immigrant children in recent months.

    You know who else had a Katrina moment?

      1. Fist of Etiquette doesn’t care about French-Canadian people.

        1. She advocated looting. This was her most punk moment ever*.

          As appalling as her music is, I rather like Celine. She came from poverty to make a fortune which she’s used to support family and charity, is famously really nice, and has put up with a lot of public bagging for decades that would tip many lesser souls into a shooting spree.

          * yes i know looting is wrong

    1. The Czars?

    2. Chimpy McHitler?

    3. Stephen Cohen?

  21. ‘Remote control’ contraceptive chip available ‘by 2018’
    The chip is implanted under a woman’s skin, releasing a small dose of levonorgestrel, a hormone.

    This will happen every day for 16 years, but can be stopped at any time by using a wireless remote control.

    The project has been backed by Bill Gates, and will be submitted for pre-clinical testing in the US next year – and possibly go on sale by 2018…

    1. “Someone must have hacked my chip…I’m pregnant.”

    2. but can be stopped at any time by using a wireless remote control.

      I give it a week after they’re released before somebody grabs a hold of one of the chips, reverse engineers the remote control, and uses it for mischief. And baby creation.

      1. Wah, wah.

        1. Look, I told the The IAEA that the Vatican couldn’t be trusted with EMPs, but NO. Now the Italians have no TV, no radio and no birth control chips. What else are they going to do?

          Three generations of Italians are enough!

  22. You Can’t Blame Fracking for Every Natural Disaster
    I’m seeing a lot of stories about the link between injection wells and induced earthquakes in Oklahoma, but most of them make the same error. This study had nothing to do with fracking. The injection wells in Oklahoma causing the swarms of small-magnitude earthquakes are actually used for getting rid of wastewater….

    1. Oh, and I’ll bet you think that earthquake in Big Bear the other day had nothing to do with fracking, either.

    2. Why not? That tactic has been working well for warmists.

  23. You know who else got out to early leads against opponents with lightening speed?

    1. The hare in the fable of the tortoise and the hare?

    2. Guerra-rel?mpago!

    3. People on the Atkins diet?

    4. Billie Jean King?

  24. that picture is mesmerizing.

  25. ?@Salondotcom 5m
    How Germany’s blitzkrieg-like scoring aggression against Brazil could foreshadow a Fourth Reich

    (though after that Salon article about how we should nationalize Google and Amazon, it’s clear that they can’t be parodied)

    1. There’s no way that’s serious. Is it?

      1. @Salondotcom is a parody account that makes up fake headlines. However, sometimes they just retweet actual articles. It’s sometimes very difficult to tell the difference between parody and reality.

        1. Sometimes the internets confuse me.

          Thanks for the update.

          1. Follow

            WHITE Castle? Winn-DIXIE: How neoconfederates are winning the branding war

        1. ” @Salondotcom ? 22h
          Do teams with light-colored jerseys tend to win World Cup games because of white privilege?”

          Yep, there some gold in them thar tweets.

        2. retweeted from from original on the parody site:

          Let’s nationalize Amazon and Google: Publicly funded technology built Big Tech — time to make them utilities

          It can’t be a parody when the real thing is bat shit insane as-is.

          Slightly alternate history twitter?

      2. Well, actually, I was thinking we might see German nationalism on the rise if the officials denied them the win, but that seems less likely now.

        1. So they’re like Wookiees. Just…let them win.

          1. Apparently, that’s what Brazil is thinking.


    Let’s nationalize Amazon and Google: Publicly funded technology built Big Tech

    They’re huge and ruthless and define our lives. They’re close to monopolies. Let’s make them public utilities

    I’m just going to have to break down and buy a good rifle. Any suggestions?

    1. Let’s nationalize Salon first. They use the same technology. Minimum wage for their writers.

    2. I was going to post that. But …. holy fucking hell.

    3. Buy it

    4. The people at Salon hire extremely effective troll writers, I’ll give them that. Judging by the comments, the article was exclusively read by pissed-off conservatives.

    5. I recommend a punt gun. Just to be sure.…..3_1280.jpg

    6. Who wants to take a bite out of that Apple?

    7. PTR91?

      Google it.

      1. thanks

    8. Let’s nationalize Amazon and Google: Publicly funded technology built Big Tech

      They’re huge and ruthless and define our lives. They’re close to monopolies. Let’s make them public utilities

      Let’s nationalize privatize Amazon and Google: the FAA and VA: Publicly funded technology built Big Tech Incompetent organizations.

      They’re huge and ruthless and define our lives. They’re close to monopolies. Let’s make them public Private, competent, utilities that give choice to their customers.

    9. There are lots of good rifles, it just depends on how much money you want to spend and what you want it for (hunting, self-protection, etc.). If you specifically want an M-16/AR-15/M-4 type rifle/carbine there are a great many to choose from at different price points. If you are living under the bootheel of government repression, you might have to get a cosmetically different one or you could buy a nice bolt or lever action rifle – which have the advantage of looking less scary and therefore less confiscatable but have the disadvantage in terms of magazine capacity and accessories.

    10. Mini-14 or Mini-30. Reliable, rugged and ammo is available cheaply.

      Saiga12. Get buckshot by the truck load.

      Invest in some good 20 rd mags for the rifle and 10 rd’ers for the shotgun.

      1. thanks

        1. Consider looking into the Molot Vepr instead of the Saiga-12. It’s also based on the AK, but tends to be a bit cheaper and has a magazine well instead of being rock&lock;. It also has a bolt-hold open.

          Military Arms Channel on Youtube has detailed video regarding the VEPR12

    11. I’m just going to have to break down and buy a good rifle.

      Make sure you have spares. If the wife won’t shoot, she can at least reload for you.

    12. I’m just going to have to break down and buy a good rifle. Any suggestions?

      Rugar Mini-14 Ranch rifle.

      Shoots 223 and NATO rounds looks like a “normal” less scary rifle, cheap, available at Walmart, and semi-auto just like an AR.

  27. Some minimum wage derp-fraud from the Washington Post.…..verything/

    1. I can’t be too hard on the guy who wrote the article, but what the hell is up with the WaPo editorial staff that they’d publish this? In what way is this a meaningful contribution to the discussion about the minimum wage other than to implicitly paint anyone opposing min. wage hikes as heartless monsters who want this man’s family to starve?

      1. The whole article sounds like a fraud to me. It was obviously ghost-written at best, and probably 99% creative writing at worst.

        1. You can do a google search for California state employees salaries and find the government directory – state employees salaries are public record. There’s no record for a “Raul Meza” but going through the list and finding some with the ‘custodian’ title indicates they make 28k or so.

  28. Russian Orthodox Priest Says Football Is Gay ? Because of Its Shoes

    Priest Alexander Shumsky seems to have taken particular exception to the brightly colored footwear on display in Brazil, writing in his column on Christian website Russian People’s Line that players who wear green, yellow, pink or blue shoes helped promote the “gay rainbow.”

    “Wearing pink or blue shoes, [the players] might as well wear women’s panties or a bra,” Shumsky wrote, adding that he was also offended by the “unthinkable” hairstyles of some of the players in Brazil.


    “The liberal ideology of globalism clearly wants to oppose Christianity with football. I’m sure of it. Therefore I am glad that the Russian players have failed and, by the grace of God, no longer participate in this homosexual abomination,” the priest wrote in his online column.

    I just like that Russia is a massive Schadenfreude factory, or would it be Fremdscham?

    1. Considering the “Soccer popularity proves Europe right so raise taxes” articles that pop up, are the Russkies wrong?

    2. Soccer boots should be black. Period.

      1. You almost can’t find black ones anymore. It’s very, very annoying.

        1. As if we needed any more evidence of the racism inherent in the system

    3. Ann “Adams Apple” Coulter agrees.

    4. All I know about Russia is that Russian prison is apparently a total blast.

      1. Obviously you’ve never seen that Russia’s Toughest Prisons documentary (it’s on Netflix). Terrified me. Especially that Black Dolphin Prison.

        1. Sigh. Just go to 12 minutes in and enjoy the Bon Jovi polka cover.

          1. THAT is why I come to Hit n’ Run. The James Bond theme instrumental break really made the song.

    5. “Football” something was lost in translation.

    6. “Football” is certainly gay, but the shoes are only a small part of it.

    7. Team sports are all gay. All those dudes with hair styles showering together and slapping each other’s bottoms. Gay.

  29. Silicon Valley’s next target of destruction: Fast food fry cooks

    San Francisco start-up Momentum Machines boasts a bold “value proposition.” The company plans to “launch the first restaurant chain that profitably sells gourmet hamburgers at fast food prices.” How do they plan to do this? By mechanizing the production process to the point where no line cooks are necessary at all. Details are scarce about the technology but the website promises 360 burgers per hour via a machine that “does everything employees can do except better”:

    The labor savings allow a restaurant to spend approximately twice as much on high quality ingredients and the gourmet cooking techniques make the ingredients taste that much better.


    It is encouraging to hear optimism expressed about the possibility of training displaced line cooks to become robot design engineers…

    But as for the confidence that “technology like ours actually causes an increase in employment”? Certainly that’s been true for a long time, but as the sophistication and pace of technological change continue to accelerate, at least a few economists are now beginning to wonder whether old axioms still hold true. One thing that’s certainly not in doubt ? disrupting the fast food industry and erasing countless jobs will provide a direct test of this thesis!

    1. Fast food will finally be sanitary!

      1. Do you frequently get Hep A when you go to McDonald’s?

        1. You don’t know me!

    2. A $15/hr minimum wage should test that thesis pretty damn fast.

      1. Yep, automation will come all the faster with an artificially high wage for unskilled/slightly skilled labor.

      2. Speaking of $15/hr sanitation……..verything/

        1. Can’t a guy who can write an article about the minimum wage get paid more. Who are these people who get a job at 8 bucks and hour and are like “Yup, that’s the life I want”? Hasn’t this guy heard of looking for work?

          1. You think the janitor actually wrote that article? I’d bet the guy barely speaks English and his 4-year old doesn’t actually mind his father going to work.

    3. So they’re against technology and change, and yet call themselves “progressive”. This sort of Luddite resistance should get you branded a “regressive”, but unfortunately, that monicker is reserved for those who want freer markets, efficiency and competition.

    4. It is encouraging to hear optimism expressed about the possibility of training displaced line cooks to become robot design engineers…

      HAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yep, because *most* people can be “trained” to be “robot engineers”. ESPECIALLY people who chose the career path “cook” first. So many transferable skills, aptitudes and qualities….

      Can I “train” some of them to be just “controls engineers”, cause that’s what we REALLY need at my company for about the next 20 years. We buy the robots OK – we need controls engrs to make everything RUN.

      1. Holy shit, was that bit serious? I imagined it could only be sarcasm.

        1. Can’t tell id serious – hope they are, cause that’s waaaaay funnier!

        2. PS we really do need good controls engrs, so if you have any lying around…

          1. I’ll grab up some bums, teach them how to tune a PID controller, and send them your way.

            1. Um….does anyone ELSE have any Controls Engineers lying about that they could spare? Anyone else?

              1. Jesus. What do you want, someone who spent 4 years in school or something? Good fucking luck. I’ll give you even more bums, and I’ll even throw in a few minutes of instruction about pole placement controllers. You won’t get a better offer.

                1. “Good Afternoon – this is Warty-temps, home of the trained hobo labor force!”

                  jesse – sounds like Adorphan has some competition brewing!

                  1. Nicole will just turn them into hoboscuitto. It’s what she does.

                    Why would you hire smelly, drunk hobos when you can hire high quality orphans orphans. Although I’ve often used hobo delirium tremens to great effect at my shyster Reiki healing center.

                    Really, Nikki’s Orphan Bargain Barn will be hardest hit by Warty entering the hobo labor market.

          2. I know my way around a SLC-500 but that’s about it.

            1. I do know a guy…don’t know if he’d be interested in moving though.

  30. Make up your minds, progs, are cupcakes poisoning our children or is the attack on cupcakes part of the War on Women?

    “The cupcake backlash has been going on for years. In 2013, the The Wire called cupcakes “prissy” and a “widely, vocally despised food.” Going further, a psychotherapist told the Washington Post in 2012 that cupcake lovers are narcissistic. “The popularity of cupcakes directly tracks the rise in cultural narcissism that has resulted from the Internet’s impact on our individual and cultural psyche,” Dr. Paul Hokemeyer said. A Jezebel writer simply wrote: “fuck cupcakes.”…

    “Prissy, narcissistic. These are words that are frequently used to belittle women and the things they enjoy. Foods that are considered masculine?bourbon, bacon, beer?are also considered cool, as are women who like them. But a delicious pink cocktail? Too girly! And, as we know from our fear of little girls loving princess stuff, “girly” is not good.”…..ign=buffer

    1. A Jezebel writer simply wrote: “fuck cupcakes.”…

      What kind of soulless monster doesn’t like artisanal cupcakes?

      1. A Jezebel writer simply wrote: “fuck cupcakes.”…

        Ha, ha–yeah, I’m sure she’s saying that as she’s shoving them in her mouth.

    2. Someone needs to keep Salon on their toes in the endless game of “who is Lord of the Retard?”

    3. Make up your minds, progs, are cupcakes poisoning our children or is the attack on cupcakes part of the War on Women?

      It’s neither. It really is the cultural appropriation of cupcakes from the liberal elite by the unwashed masses. Once that happened, cupcakes became uncool.

    4. “…are cupcakes poisoning our children or is the attack on cupcakes part of the War on Women??..


  31. There is an official “one a day” limit to gross pictures of human skin diseases.

    2Chili, FOUL!!!RED CARD!!!

    1. Yeah, this one is *disturbing* to me.

      Partly because that looks like the Feral Kid from “The Road Warrior”.

      All those bumps….yech.

  32. Tennessee couple separates in order to keep health insurance

    As they described first to The Tennessean and to HuffPost Live on Tuesday, the couple falls into their state’s “coverage gap” because their income is too high to qualify for TennCare, Tennessee’s public insurance program, and too low to qualify for federal subsidies under Obamacare.

    After Larry opted for early retirement last fall, the Drains were told that his retirement benefits surpassed the limit on unearned income. That set off a domino effect. Larry’s retirement check eliminated Linda’s SSI benefits, and without those she was ineligible for TennCare. Linda would also be disqualified from TennCare if the couple had monthly income higher than $85, so another job for Larry wouldn’t fix anything. The couple would have been covered if Tennessee expanded its Medicaid program under the Affordable Care Act, but the state has elected not to do so.


    Linda is now living with her mother in an effort to keep her household income low enough to regain her SSI while she looks for a new residence, with little success.

    If you like your marriage you can keep your marriage. But I guess this is being reported because it’s the Republicans fault.

    1. But I guess this is being reported because it’s the Republicans fault.
      That’s how the comments see it.

  33. WOW. Was I wrong about Germany not throttling Brazil!

  34. People who say soccer is boring because of the lack of goals arent watching todays game.

    The 2nd half is going to be a complete snoozer.

    1. Brazil is in damage control mode right now. Mostly because they don’t want their bus to be firebombed on its way out of the stadium by crazed fans.

    2. Yeah, this will probably get incredibly boring.

      If Brazil decides “fuck it!” then it could get very interesting for all the wrong reasons. Low needs to sub out Mueller, Lahm, and one of Ozil, Schweinsteiger, or Kroos right the fuck now.

      1. Yeah. Just like in any sport the team getting a beat down will look to save face any which way they can.

      2. WTF? You bring off Klose, and not Mueller? Are you trying to get your best scorer killed?

    3. First half had more goals than the average of the NHL.

  35. 2016 Republican convention will be in Cleveland. Bad idea. The protests here will be ugly.

    1. They can party with Manzel.

      1. A young George W Bush can think of nothing more fun.

    2. Sounds like a mistake by the lake.

  36. More (Idiotic) Thoughts on the Evils of the Gay Whopper

    Regardless, even the “we are all the same inside” concept itself feels poorly conceived. We shouldn’t have to prove that we’re “all the same inside” in order to obtain equal rights and respect. Instead we should all learn to value that even people who are different from us are worthy of humane treatment. Also, do you really wanna think about what’s inside a Whopper? If one adds fries to that calorically-dense sandwich, one could exceed one’s entire daily allotment of fat and saturated fat in a single sitting while consuming almost nothing of nutritional value!

    As I wrote in the Chick-Fil-A piece, what can distinguish queer politics from mainstream politics is that our “outsider” status should enable us to more readily question dominant culture and advocate for disenfranchised and mistreated humans (and animals). The fast food industry is one of the most exploitative industries in the history of the world, and Burger King itself has been the subject of many lawsuits and campaigns for offenses including serving carcinogen-containing grilled chicken, selling beef that contained horse meat and patronizing a dairy farm that tortured its animals.

    1. The derp is strong with this one.

    2. We shouldn’t have to prove that we’re “all the same inside” in order to obtain equal rights and respect.

      Look lady (or dude, I’m not sure), if you’re not made mostly of carbon and water with a smattering of other things thrown in you’re probably not going to get equal rights and respect. Unless of course we meet a silica based intelligence and I’m forced to revise this, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

      1. Plus – Whoppers are DELICIOUS, yo!

        1. Check below. Jesse isn’t allowed to like Whoppers. Or In N’ Out. Or 5 Guys. Or KFC.

          Because it apparently goes against the homo agenda, according to the lady who wrote the above article.

          1. GILMORE or someone banned me from having delicious BK food cause I made a naughty and mean comment on another thread. I haz a sad 🙁

            1. Oh, poor baby. You can have all the homoburgers you want. Just no more gerbils in your pooper.

    3. Well, it started off well. But went downhill fast.

    4. Shorter version: Fuck you for supporting me

  37. “Why Democrats Are So Confident

    “Republicans are trending against a growing cultural majority, while Democrats are in tune with it….

    “Veteran pollster Stanley B. Greenberg captures this almost unprecedented Democratic assurance when he declares flatly: “Republicans are on the losing side of all of these trends.””

    But before saying “SoCon that, SoCons!” look at this:

    “Beyond contraception and immigration, the parties are escalating their conflicts over a broad suite of issues that divide the electorate along cultural lines, including *gun control,* gay rights, abortion, and *climate change* (which politically pivots on trust in science). Combined, these confrontations are stamping the GOP as what I’ve called a “Coalition of Restoration” primarily representing older, white, religiously devout, and nonurban voters who fear that hurtling change is undermining traditional American values. Democrats in turn are championing a younger, more urbanized, diverse, and secular “Coalition of Transformation” that welcomes the evolution in America’s racial composition and cultural mores. [emphasis added]…

    “The result is that amid public unease over Obama’s economic and foreign policy record, cultural affinity has become the Democrats’ most powerful electoral weapon.”…

    1. Hmmm, try this link:…..t-20140702

      1. There is some truth there. A lot of what Democrats have going for them is the sense that they are “hip” and “modern.” Of course it’s a lot more complicated than that, but your typical low-info voter isn’t going to look any deeper.

    2. the parties are escalating their conflicts over a broad suite of issues that divide the electorate along cultural lines, including *gun control,* gay rights, abortion, and *climate change* (which politically pivots on trust in science).

      I’m pretty sure the proggies and their Dem allies are on the short end of the poll results on most or all of those.

    3. And yet the GOP has more control over state-level government than it ever has and they’re probably going to womp the Dems and take the Senate later this year. And gun rights continue to march forward.

    4. What’s telling is that our most serious problems are economic, political, and relate to foreign policy. All this cultural crap is almost total ghafla.

  38. Because I’m feeling especially contemptuous of humanity today: Lindy West reviews ‘Forrest Gump’

    Featuring huh-larious passages like:

    Small Gump goes to the doctor with his mom (Sally Field, who apparently gave birth to him when she was 10) to get fitted with some leg braces, because “his back’s as crooked as a politician.” Gump reminisces about his ancestral namesake, General Nathan Bedford Forrest, who was the first Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. Fortunately, Gump, much like that dirty feather, is too innocent to understand what racism is, so he thinks that the Klan was a sort of slumber party club where “they’d even put bedsheets on they horses and ride around.”

    Now, I guess that little rhetorical loophole (which serves the twofold goals of emphasizing Gump’s naivet? and keeping this feelgood movie max digestible) is better than just not addressing how fucking racist Alabama was in the 1950s, but I can’t help feeling like Gump was AGGRESSIVELY failed by the system. Like, no, he’s not a brainiac, but he’s CAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING BASIC CONCEPTS. If he can follow the rules of ping-pong to the letter, he can grasp the idea that some white people think they’re better than black people. Instead, apparently everyone just tapped out hard on Forrest’s education, like, “Oh, he’s a little slow. Let’s NEVER TELL HIM ANYTHING.”

    1. Hey, I like that movie. And I refuse to let Lindy West ruin it for me, so I shall read no more of her derp.

      So THERE, Lindy West!

      Stupid is as stupid does…

      1. I’ve never seen the movie, but I feel like i have.

        1. So that’s all you’ve got to say about that…

          1. I don’t know why I felt the need to share that. Similarly puzzling is the fact that people are still writing reviews of Forest Gump.

    2. She’s had 20 years to write that review and it’s still less funny than a sobbing Brazilian boy

      1. HAHA! Yes!

    3. “Oh, he’s a little slow. Let’s NEVER TELL HIM ANYTHING.”

      Lindy finished writing that sentence ans sat and stared at the wall, trying to decide why that scenario seemed so familiar. Nothing. She thought harder. Nothing. She ate another piece of cake.

      1. *stands to begin thunderous applause*

        Bravo! Bravo!

  39. Today is ‘Prove John Haidt right about liberals focus on Sanctity Degradation wrt food. First up:

    Walmart could corrupt organic food… by selling organic food to the dirty, nasty poors!

    When Walmart announced plans to open a new line of super-cheap organic foods, Smallwood’s reaction was mixed. Like many Smallwood recognized the potential for Walmart–the nation’s biggest grocer– to expand the organic foods model. But, while some food justice advocates have welcomed the move as it promises to make organic foods available to the masses, Smallwood says there is a good reason organics are priced the way they are. He fears lowering the price of organic foods would fail to reflect their true production costs, and Walmart organics could ultimately threaten the greater organic farming world.

    Paul says while OCA welcomes the greater distribution of organic produce, they caution against the race to the bottom when it comes to pricing.

    “Walmart has a history of driving down price to the lowest in the market,” she said. “This has proven to be not conducive to producing products the right way, or paying fair wages to those who do produce products using high-quality ingredients and processes.”

    Fuck the poor, let them starve. Progs are evil

    1. “This has proven to be not conducive to producing products the right way, or paying fair wages to those who do produce products using high-quality ingredients and processes.”

      Lying bitch lies.

      1. Yeah. It was just over the character limit, but in the next sentence she said, “n order for organic farmers to survive, prices for organic produce should reflect what it actually costs to grow and distribute their food.”

        So basically bitch doesn’t understand economics either.

        There’s also some yellow peril fear mongering in the article that Walmart will get organic produce from CHINA! Which apparently doesn’t have our rigorous (read: bullshit, stupid, and expensive) organic standards.

    2. “food justice advocates”

      “So what is it, exactly, that you *do* here?”

      “I advocate for food justice, duh! Can’t you people see that? What’s wrong with you people?”

    3. Well, maybe it will help people realize that organic is sort of bullshit.

    4. Food snobs.

      The amazing thing to me is how the poor and the upper-middle class snobbish seem to have both lined up for Team Blue. Parasites survive best on willing hosts, I guess.

      1. Not just snobs.

        They are seriously saying that organic food (which they believe that everyone should eat, and eating anything else is intentionally poisoning yourself) should not become cheaper.

        In their ideal world, the only food would be organic… which would be too expensive for the poor to afford, or take a HUGE chunk out of a poor person’s budget.

        They do the same with fast food- bitching that it’s too cheap and tasty.

        If you read between the lines, they are upper middle class people who WANT POOR PEOPLE TO DIE OF STARVATION.

  40. ‘Conservative’ columnist at Huffington Post explains why Uber is UNAMERICAN. Short story: by lobbying to evade crony-capitalist regulations, Uber is in fact engaging in crony capitalism!…

  41. Dear Prudence: Help! My wife accidentally shits the bed during sex

    Q. Pooping During Intercourse: My lovely wife and I have (and always have had) a very active sex life. The only problem is, since the birth of our child, she has had a problem with controlling her orgasms. She routinely accidentally passes gas, and occasionally actually accidentally defecates. I never act like it bothers me at all, and to be honest it rarely does, but she gets so embarrassed and mortified by it that she often has to stop?at least temporarily. It was one thing with the gas, but the poop is a show stopper. I don’t want to make the problem worse by saying something, and I fear that the recent downturn in our sex lives (down to about three times a week) is related to her anxiety about this. It’s important to me that sex is fulfilling and enjoyable for both of us, and I’m in a bit of a pickle here as to what to do. Is this sort of thing normal? I don’t even know if it’s related to the childbirth process she went through a couple of years ago.

    1. See – this right here? THIS is why I love Reason. Stuff like this right here. You don’t get this at the WaPo or HuffPo or wherever.

      But you DO get it at HyR. Fuckin’ A!

    2. Kegels, Fascinator Throe (mildly NSFW), pre-made enema kits from her local drugstore.


    3. The Activia commercials have taught me that pooping is a super important thing to ladies that they have lots of problems with.

      And that for some reason women eschew whole milk, which given the whole osteoporosis thing, makes no goddamn sense.

      1. Didn’t you say you were talking about *women*?


        1. … and therefore, expecting anything to ‘make sense’ is a dangerous error on your part

          1. Wow. I bet you have really funny things to say about blacks and Jews too

            1. Blacks and Jews are both shitty tippers. So there’s that.

            2. Black and Jewish *women*?

              1. Also, you need to scream RACIST!!!in all-caps when making backhanded accusations. otherwise no one notices, and the rampant racism just goes on unabated.

                1. All caps are more your style, along with collectivist thinking

                  1. Yessssssss….. racist *collectivist*….. now = why stop there? surely you can find further labels to slap on. Imperialist? Homophobe? Torture-Apologist? *Ableist*?

                    1. Maybe you need some cranberry juice.

      2. A recent study found that people who drink skim milk actually gain more weight than people who drink whole milk.

        1. I am not supposed to drink milk but I can’t have my coffee without SOMETHING so My doc said “if ya gotta then use heavy cream” I said “FUCKIN ALRIGHT!”

      3. I don’t know what you’re going on about. I’m one and done. Regular like a Nazi area train.

  42. Not that anyone cares, but I was in the bedroom of a prominent Defense Distributed member last week. Not while he was in it, but his pictures and articles were on the wall. It’s where he crashes when visiting his folks, who are downsizing and selling the place. Awesome view, but it’s still AR so I’ve got to take that into account. Trying to decide whether to fish or cut bait: resign myself to living here and get the “forever” house or get back on the application process and get out of this GFS. NTSB is hiring but I’m not sure DC is any better than Arkansas. In fact in some ways I know it’s much worse.

    1. Doesn’t Arkansas have Sasquatches? You would have to be insane to move to DC and miss out on Squatching.

      1. Warty, for an expert on rape, you seem to often forget that STEVE SMITH’s natural habitat is OH GOD, LOOK BEHIND YOU, HE’S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!

        I bet you got your doctorate in rapeology at a second right school like Brown.

      2. Might have Skunk Apes instead.

      3. Indeed it does. There’s the Fouke Monster in southwest Arkansas. STEVE SMITH runs a used car dealership in northwest Arkansas, so I assume he at least has a part time home somewhere in the Ozarks.

  43. Gay People MUST hate fast food

    It’s more or less impossible to eat any kind of fast food ethically.It’s not a secret that fast food remains an incredibly lucrative business,and that the corporations who supply food to the stores and the stores themselves spend a lot of money in the political arena to maintain their wealth and dominance,very little of which goes towards anything in your best interest.I mean really, where do we begin?

    The food service industry loves Republicans,a party that generally supports the industry’s policies of paying workers minimum wage with few benefits and eschewing nutritional and food safety standards

    You’re probably aware that fast food is literally killing us, and the allegedly healthier Chick-fil-A is not exempt from that assessment

    So,what do we do with all this information?Well,part of what distinguishes queer politics from mainstream politics is our position outside of the mainstream,a position which enables us to question dominant culture and fight for the rights of all outsiders and disenfranchised or mistreated citizens.The fast food industry is an inexorable element of that dominant culture.For many of us,giving up fast food altogether is impractical and expensive, but it’s silly to act like there’s anything exalted about patronizing fast food restaurants in the first place

    1. I take a certain amount of pleasure in seeing them sniping at each other, for when one half declares themselves far too culturally enlightened to eat “fast food”, the other declares themselves Vegan and calls the others a bunch of queer-philistines.

      Burger King, I salute you. You fagged up a burger and the world freaked out.

      1. Well, there’s also the soap boxing about how “some people can ONLY afford to eat fast food.”

        So, eating fast food is a sign that you lack the privilege to eat better, so you win in Idiot Feminist Land. Also, you’re probably fat, which is bonus points.

        1. Can anyone explain that to me? Fast food is expensive.

          1. Not as expensive as Whole Foods prepared meals.

            1. I can shop at whole foods and buy a nice meal I have to prepare for myself for less than a McDs. (not saying I would, I only buy the expensive shit at wholefoods)

              This has given me an idea…I had a friend live on a dollar a day for a month (and he was running marathons) I bet I can eat WF for the same price as two McDs meals every day.

    2. You’re probably aware that fast food is literally killing us, and the allegedly healthier Chick-fil-A is not exempt from that assessment

      I eat Chick-fil-A infrequently not because of the politics, but because some of my coworkers started eating there at least 4 times per week and put on a frightening amount of weight very very quickly.

      The fast food industry is an inexorable element of that dominant culture.

      Bitch, please. So is driving a car in LA. Should I give that up in exchange for flitting everywhere with gossamer fairy wings? This article is making me regret making a salad at home and bringing it to work.

      1. Should I give that up in exchange for flitting everywhere with gossamer fairy wings?

        Given the option, I’d go with the fairy wings.

        1. I suppose it would be a good way to avoid LA traffic.

          1. Starchild’s 2008 NatCon outfit was an exquisite pair of wings and shorts that he shouldn’t have worn even ten years ago.

      2. The article was originally in response to the Chick-Fil-A boycott and HRC promoting the idea of going to more ‘gay friendly’ fast food places. So that’s why Chick-Fil-A comes up so much.

        Then again, it’s Autostraddle. Independently run Queer Feminist site. It puts Jezebel to shame. They basically are constantly bitching that gay politics has stopped being as ‘radical’ (ie socialist and feminist) as they used to be in the 70s and 80s.

      3. flitting everywhere with gossamer fairy wings

        Don’t be ridiculous. Saddle up your rainbow flying unicorn and eat a steak while you’re at it

    3. “You’re probably aware that fast food is literally killing us,”

      In this guy’s case, we can only hope.

    4. part of what distinguishes queer politics from mainstream politics is our position outside of the mainstream

      Someone wrote this and thought they were profound.

      1. Since when is the democratic party not mainstream?

        1. Like I said, they thought they were profound. We can’t derp ourselves down to understand obvious logic and contradiction.

    5. So its arguing that gays arent just like evetyone else but gay?

  44. Florida teens rescue man who attempted kill gator with his bare hands

    Two teenagers from Mulberry say they rescued a man from an alligator — after the man tried to wrestle it.

    “I don’t know what was going through his head because I would never even attempt a thing like that,” said 18-year-old Daniel Butler. “I just can’t believe he actually tried to wrestle a gator.”

    Thats right: Daniel and his friend, 16-year-old Ryan Stromsnes, say they saw the man they rescued attack an alligator — not the other way around.

    Daniel and Ryan were hanging out near the shore line at Loyce E. Harpe Park in Mulberry when it happened.

    That’s where they ran across 29-year-old Matthew Pope, who claimed his dog was just eaten by an alligator, and he was looking for revenge.

    So he jumped in the water.

    “He tried to grab the gator by its snout and that’s when the gator got upset and broke free from his grip and proceeded to bite the man in the right arm,” Daniel said.

    And it got worse.

    “The gator dragged him under and he was gone for a few seconds. He came up screaming,” Daniel added.

    They helped Pope out of the water, but his arm was bad shape.

    Wildlife officers trapped and killed gator. And it turns out the dog tale may have been just that — a tale.

    “We heard later he probably didn’t have a dog. He was just trying to get the gator,” Ryan said.

    1. Gator Man gonna gator, yo

      1. “Wrestle?” I suspect he had other, more disturbing ambitions.

    2. Two teenagers from Mulberry say they rescued a man from an alligator — after the man tried to wrestle it.

      Or did they save the alligator from him?

      1. That’s probably the story he tells his friends.

    3. So how big was the gator?

      3 feet? meh.

      12 feet? That’s different.

  45. I happened to notice that one of the Brazilian players had a Star of David tattoo.

    Now it all makes perfect sense.

    1. *claps slowly, rises*

    2. Which one? I’m guessing….Bernard or Fred.

      1. Bernard I believe.

        Even more reason that the Neymar injury was such a bad omen.

    3. Doesnt that prevent a jewish burial or something?

      1. Not sure how the rabbis treat that in the modern era, but I know that in 1930’s Germany it was redeemable for a free cremation.

        1. *narrows gaze*

          Mutters something about seeing what he did there…wanders off shaking head.

      2. It’s supposed to. I saw a clip of a Jewish comedian on the Hugh Hefner talk show in the ’60s. He got a tattoo and his mother freaked out about it. He told her “Ma. Just have them cut off my arm and toss it out and bury the rest of me in the Jewish cemetery!”

        A college friend of mine going to Jew school had some Hebrew scrawled on his arm, so it may not be as big a deal.

        1. had some Hebrew scrawled on his arm


          Hebrew words all have corresponding numbers…

          Which means he had a number scrawled on his arm.

  46. Minnesota girl turns marijuana growing parents into the police

    A young girl ratted out her own pot-growing parents to police after getting worried that the smoke was making herself and her dogs sick.

    The 9-year-old reportedly walked into a Barnesville, Minn., police station to tell cops that her mom and dad were growing the drug under their house.

    She also revealed that they were selling the marijuana to others, as well as smoking it themselves.

    “She was a very brave, very smart, very articulate little girl,” officer Ryan Beattie told the StarTribune.

    “It was almost like interviewing an adult. She appeared to have intelligence far above a normal little girl,” he said.

    “[AND] she gave some pretty specific information about things, like types of drug paraphernalia, that no young person ought to have knowledge about,” he added.

    Cops raided the property last week.

    They reportedly found seven marijuana plants growing under the house, drug paraphernalia and a substance that field-tested positive for meth.

    Charges have not yet been filed.

    Somewhere Pavlik Morozov is smiling. That girl is going to be a politician someday.

    1. Hmm, that cop that turned in his daughter in law after his grandkid died could adopt her.

    2. We are very nearly there…

      You know who else supported turning in your family to the authorities?

    3. Who would have given her the idea to do that? Teacher? Other family member?

      Straight outta 1984.

      1. Something she picked up at school, I’d bet. DARE or some such evil bullshit.

    4. That was posted by Reason a day ago.

      1. Woops wrong story.

    5. With those children, he thought, that wretched woman must lead a life of terror. Another year, two years, and they would be watching her night and day for symptoms of unorthodoxy. Nearly all children nowadays were horrible. What was worst of all was that by means of such organizations as the Spies they were systematically turned into ungovernable little savages, and yet this produced in them no tendency whatever to rebel against the discipline of the Party. On the contrary, they adored the Party and everything connected with it. The songs, the processions, the banners, the hiking, the drilling with dummy rifles, the yelling of slogans, the worship of Big Brother–it was all a sort of glorious game to them. All their ferocity was turned outwards, against the enemies of the State, against foreigners, traitors, saboteurs, thought-criminals. It was almost normal for people over thirty to be frightened of their own children. And with good reason, for hardly a week passed in which ‘The Times’ did not carry a paragraph describing how some eavesdropping little sneak–‘child hero’ was the phrase generally used–had overheard some compromising remark and denounced its parents to the Thought Police.

    6. Well, I hate to wish ill on a child, but I wouldn’t feel bad for her if she showed up again in a news story on the terrible state of our foster parenting system.

      1. Yeah, not sure she really thought this one out. She’ll be in foster care for the next 9 years, but at least she’s safe from the demon weed.

        1. Honestly, I expect her grandparents to take her in.

          Although I’m not sure how excited they would be about having the rat who put their child in prison hanging around the house.

        2. Should it be up to the kids to know the consequences of their parents illegal activities, or should the parents refrain from doing those if it affects the kids? I know I’m not going to be popular, but good parents don’t jeopardize their family to get high. It doesn’t matter if it “should” be legal or not.

    7. Somehow I doubt this will ultimately work out in her or her dogs favor.

  47. According to the radio, Brazil is trying to get back into the game by shamelessly diving in the box.

    That’s not going to work.

    1. Five penalty kicks later. . . .

  48. Oh, BTW…

    LA Reasonoids, I may finally be able to see y’all at the next meetup devised. Provided that it’s not ungodly fare from SFV. Any thoughts?

    1. Any thoughts?

      Move someplace better…

      There was some rumbling about socializing but I’ve been lazy, Playa and Sudden have had busy work schedules, and Serious has been wooing his lady love.

      How far is “ungodly” far in your book?

    2. Oh, and shoot me an email. I think you did already and I tried to find it when we did the last event, but failed because I’m disorganized and as previously mentioned, lazy.

    3. I could be persuaded to swing through the valley on my way to LA, but only if the next meetup is not planned during rush hour again, and all the way down in Torrance. Why don’t you bums come slum it on the north side?

      1. Why don’t you bums come slum it on the north side?

        The slumming part.

        A few of us have made it as far north as DTLA, but it was treacherous and we lost people along the way. RannedPall was so traumatized he had to become Los Doyers and then moved to *shudder* DC.

  49. It’s 6-0 now.

    Brazil are an embarrassment right now.

    1. The broadcasters have run out of space to list the scorers at once and now have to scroll through them. And there’s still 20 minutes to go

    2. Brazil are? CANADIAN INFILTRATOR!

      1. I guess Akron is sorta close to the land of “eh?”.

        1. I like soccer, too, but I refuse to adopt other forms of English.

  50. Six!

  51. Internet pays man $50,000 to make potato salad. Not to sell them potato salad, just to make some for himself:…../12300217/

    And damnit, now I really want some potato salad.


  53. I told everyone: stop with the Brazil hype. They’re not ready nor mature enough for another World Cup trophy yet. Their defense was just too sloppy, and it has been for some time. Maybe in four years, assuming they qualify.
    Also I’d like to remind everyone: the USA lost to Germany by a score of 1-0. 1-0….

    1. I don’t think anyone is hyping Brazil at this time.

      1. Mark my words: the this will all be blamed on them losing Neymar and Tiago Silva. And JESUS CHRIST SCHURRLE WHAT A GOAL.

        1. I guess maybe losing those players had some massive psychological impact on Brazil, but this much? I was thinking Germany was going to clobber Brazil, anyway, but not like this.

    2. No one is surprised germany is winning. 2-0 wouldnt gave surprised me. This is pathetic and hilarious.

  54. There will be riots in Brazil. Like, burn shit riots.

    Also, if I were a German player, I would want to know how well protected my embassy was right about now, because I may need to be hiding there soon.

    I could see Brazil taking this VERY badly. Especially as the score climbs.

    1. 7-0.

      7 bloody 0.

      Am I high?

      1. The Germans in Brazil have lost their will for crushing all opponents.

        1. Aw, that was nice, they gave them one.

  55. And now comes the part of the game where Brazil starts trying to purposefully injure German players. How was he not sent off?

  56. “Just to recap, you are watching Brazil’s worst defeat for 94 years.”
    “I’ve got to give the crowd credit. They’re still here.”

    I like these announcers.

  57. 7-0

    Mother of Christ…

  58. SEVEN!

    1. Wow, my streaming is at least lagging by a minute then.

      Thanks for the spoiler there dudes.

      1. Yeah, mine too. My Brazilian friend in Rio keeps messaging me a minute before Germany scores. She’s crying, I think. I told her to start drinking.

  59. Holy shit. 7-0. It’s a fucking football game. At least Germany didn’t go for the two-point conversion to further humiliate the Brazilians.

    1. I hope whatever German fans are still in public places scurry back to their hotels ASAP.

      1. I wonder how pissed they’ll be at the Germans? It’s not like everyone in Brazil was happy to be hosting the event.

        1. It sounds to me like the crowd is sarcastically cheering for the Germans. That sounds like a bad sign.

          1. Wonder what the new government of Brazil is going to look like?

            1. More Hitler-clonish.

              1. Say, those boys were from Brazil, weren’t they?

          2. The German fans were doing the “ole” for a while. I think they thought better of it.

            1. Yes, time for some stoic Teutonic faces and silence.

              1. I suspect they’re going to be quietly putting on their Canadian faces. “Ze Deutsche? Nien! Ve haf alvays been
                die Kanadierin! Go Mapleleifen!”

          3. Just had a nice shot of some Brazilians getting drunk and happy, God love ’em

      2. I’m pretty sure the Brazilian fans have started cheering on the Germans. At least that’s what the commentators are saying.

        1. I’m not watching, but possible Brazil might send their team to North Korea for more “training?”

    2. They’ll go for it.

  60. Brazil is letting Brazil down.

    1. Yes, this is a Cleveland-level failure. Is someone from Cleveland involved with the Brazilian national team?

      1. I have a Brazilian friend here. Well, I did before he moved away. That must be the problem.


          1. Johnny Futbol.

            1. Only John Anthony Brooks gets that name.

  61. The German team should just annex Brazil’s end of the field.

    1. Sounds like they already did.

  62. Brazil now has a negative goal diff for the world cup. When was the last time that happened? 66?

    1. And back to even. 7-1.

  63. Should have been 8, poor finish.

    1. Damn, I know how much a clean sheet means to a keeper. Poor Neuer. Sloppy defending.

  64. Ok. Well since Brazil is done, I, and the rest of Latin America, sincerely hope the Netherlands gives Argentina a good thrashing.

  65. Iraq says, ISIS controls chemical weapons dump

    US, aware that this makes our initial effort to invade that country to ensure said materials were ‘under control’, decides to downplay the significance of the issue =

    …”U.S. Defense Department spokesman Rear Admiral John Kirby said last month that the United States’ best understanding was that “whatever material was kept there is pretty old and not likely to be able to be accessed or used against anyone right now.”

    “We aren’t viewing this particular site and their holding it as a major issue at this point,” Kirby said. “Should they even be able to access the materials, frankly, it would likely be more of a threat to them than anyone else.”

    Makes perfect sense. Its not dangerous! But its probably going to kill some of them. Win-Win.

    1. Well, as long as it isn’t dangerous to us. Which would be an easy conclusion to come if not for the hundreds of military folk Obama sent over there to ‘advise’ the Iraqis.

      1. And if it weren’t for the existence of ships and airplanes.

    2. WTF is a chemical weapons dump still doing in Iraq? We were there for years, under a headline justification of WMDs, and this shit is still around?

      1. It’s a chemical weapons dump in the sense that a scrap yard is a car dealership.

  66. Somehow scoring just one goal in garbage time makes it even more embarrassing than simply rolling over and getting shut out.

    1. I always appreciate when my team scores some meaningless touchdowns to make that 31-3 score a respectable 31-17. Good for Brazil.

      1. Final score: Beverly Hilly 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.

  67. 7-1

    Ozil apparently misses on purpose and Brazil scores 30 seconds later, 90+ minutes from the start of the game.

    1. Four of them from back passes to the goalie

    2. I was hoping they would score 92 more goals so I could make some Nena jokes.

  68. Hearing from the commentators that the German fans have been asked to stay in the stadium, and will be escorted out. Party time.

    1. I can’t believe the Brazilians would be violent right now having just been broken by the Germans. They should be demoralized in passivity. Are the BRs as uppity IRL as they are said to be online?

        1. Yeah, I don’t feel bad for the ref at all. He murdered someone in a crowd.

          Now, in the US, no one would have done shit. Brazil knows how to roll.

      1. Yes.

  69. What must Gilberto Silva be thinking?

    Will Bob Ley find him hanging from the rafters of his panic room in Rio?

  70. Cops caught on video beating a man. They lie and he spends 9 months in jail

    A judge finds the police were lying and used excessive force and had him released.

    Cops still serving and protecting the people of Honolulu.

    1. Book ’em Fuck ’em up, Dano.

    2. A judge finds the police were lying and used excessive force

      Once again, multiple felonies are no match for the fat blue line.

      1. Seems very malicious on the part of the cops. Multiple witnesses on the scene saying he wasn’t the one, but they ruthlessly prosecute him and lie under oath. How can this kind of shit EVER be tolerated in a rule of law society?

        1. In a rule of law society, it wouldn’t be. But this is Honolulu.

  71. There is small pox then there left in a vial for decades and likely dead small pox.

    Then again i just assume most viruses can’t live very long outside of a living host without a whole lot of work.

    1. Most viruses can’t survive outside the body for more than a few days to a few weeks, but there are some exceptions, some viruses are remarkably durable and can live for many years outside the body. Anthrax is one of them. Smallpox is another.

      1. Anthrax is a bacteria…

        Which makes me think you don’t know what you are talking about.

        Note: Anthrax is actually the disease caused by Bacillus anthracis…but everyone just calls the bacteria anthrax.

        1. CNN:

          On Monday, law enforcement agencies transferred the vials to the CDC’s high-containment facility in Atlanta. Testing confirmed that there was variola virus DNA in the vials. Scientists will do some more testing to see if it could grow in tissue culture. Once the tests are done, the CDC will destroy the samples.

          I’d be curious if this was a very carefully temperature controlled storeroom or if it was just stored in a great stabilizing medium. I’ll also be really surprised if any of the samples are viable.

  72. Osterholm [,director of the Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy at the University of Minnesota,] says it’s not totally surprising to find smallpox in an unused storage area.


    *** crosses visiting Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy at the University of Minnesota off “bucket list” ***

    1. Maybe you should just put it right at the bottom of the bucket list.

    2. University of MN, eh? Wonder if Myers is going to say anything about that.

  73. How does posting the rather shocking image of that suffering little girl serve any purpose?

    You all are made of stronger stuff than me; this is one reason why you are the Libertarians and I am the muddle headed softy. (I can hear the faint “fuck off slaver” even now)

    But I am just saddened that her potentially deforming illness was used for joke fodder.

  74. Ricky Gervais: This won’t be the first time that thousands of Germans will have to lie low in Brazil for a while for their own safety.

    1. OK… that one was good enough to pass muster.

  75. Stay out of the shithole that is New Jersey
    Woman is arrested and being prosecuted for entering the state with a loaded gun and carry permit

    Despite the fact that Shaneen Allen possesses a License to Carry Firearms issued by the City of Philadelphia?
    Despite the fact that Allen has been trained in firearm safety and passed an NRA handgun safety course?
    Despite the fact that Allen voluntarily presented her carry license to the police in conjunction with a routine traffic stop, as per her training?
    New Jersey is doing its best to turn Shaneen Allen into a convicted felon facing a State Prison term of a minimum-mandatory 3-5 years with no chance of parole.

    1. Obviously her training wasn’t very damn good if she thought a Philadelphia carry permit was valid worldwide.

  76. Another reason to stay out of the shithole of New Jersey
    Cops beat and sic dog on man for filming them beating a woman at a laundromat

    But at least those heroes went home safely to beat their wives and children at home.

  77. I just watched that horror show after getting home from work.

    I intensely dislike this Brazil team in particular. I expected Germany to win. But holy shit, not even knowing the result, not even having listened to the game on the radio…nothing prepared me for what I just saw.

    That. Was. Terrible.

    I have no more words. Naive. Gutless. Shambolic. None of those cover it.

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