A.M. Links: CDC Scientists Botch Anthrax Transfer, New York Approves Some Medical Marijuana, Americans Don't Trust Media

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  1. I am putting AM Links on hiatus until further notice.

    1. Hello.

      “Suarez is not a world class player”. England manager Roy Hodgson.

      “We’re a better team”. Steven Gerrard prior to the Italy game.

      Ha! /Edna Krabappel

      How splendidly parochial.

      1. Was Suarez the guy who bit an opponent’s ear?

        1. Yup. He’s a rather unbecoming character but a clinical striker.

        2. Used the n-word to a black player too. Great player, but such a punchable smarmy prick

          1. Yeah but that incident is far more nuanced. There was a cultural and lost in translation angle to that.

            Listen to South American soccer announcers. They’re always using that word and it’s not necessarily meant to be derogatory – at least from what I read and was told.

            1. For awhile there, players were throwing “raaacist!!” accusations around left and right. Funny how it pretty much died down after one of them get caught out lying about it and the ref who supposedly committed the “crime” was exonerated.

      2. England are always the best team to go home early. Hopefully, by 2018 they’ll recruit an actual defense.

        1. Brett, their problems run deeper than that. They’re the only major soccer nation without a world class development academy and facility.

          Germany, Holland, France, Spain and Italy all have them. Look at the results, say, since 1970 for these countries.

          Now look at England.

          1. They have the best funded professional league in the world, many of which have minor academies associated. If they can’t recruit four defenders and a goal-keeper capable of not shitting the bed twice a tournament, I don’t think a national team academy is going to fix that. The US has historically done the same thing. Even to England last WC. I still expect Howard and the defense to give up an early goal we can’t afford to Portugal on Sunday.

            1. It’s just that they’ve never mentally recovered from the Hand of God. Seriously.

              1. One wonders if the US have recovered from the Hand of Thorsten Frings.

                1. Ted, have Toronto FC?

              2. Man, England acts as if they’re the only country to suffer bad breaks.

                Plenty have. The list of grievances is long. Get in line!

                1. There are bad breaks and then there’s Diego Maradona and the Falklands. I mean it’s completely retarded but that’s nationalism for you eh?

                  1. The Argies, arrrggghh!

                    People forget how great a tourney Gary Lineker had in 1986.

                2. Ask Germany about the England “goal” in 1966.

                  England has gotten its fair share of breaks too.

            2. Spain, Italy and Germany are well financed and funded as well with the same academies.

              A national academy on the level of Coverciano and Clairefontaine, I think, could go a long way to fixing it. They learn how to play as a true unit, multiple tactics, and so on.

              England doesn’t have that. They were supposed to have built one but corruption got in the way and never happened.

              1. It’s not just the defenders the problem either. They complete 74% of their passes. That’s dreadful. This suggests to me there are major technical issues at play here as well as tactical.

                Look at the giants – Germany, Brazil, Argentina, Italy – always over 85% on the low-end and 90-93% on the upper-end. Same with Holland, Spain and even France.

                1. 74% in the Uruguay game.

                  Soccernomics got it all wrong on some level in my view.

                2. Oh, sure. But seriously, 74% of the 26% that were missed were in England’s half and fell right to a Uruguayan. The US has the same problem. I’d be surprised if 50% of their passes found a man in red against Ghana. Portugal and Germany will score 20 each if that keeps up. In some ways, England were just unlucky, but they always seem to be unlucky in the same way.

                  1. USA has learned to play without the ball. That’s a great sign and obviously has something to do with Klinsmann.

                    I agree, though, their first touch passing should improve.

                    England has been ‘unlucky’ since 1967. Not buying it.

            3. They do actually have talented players, but Hodgson is a moron.

              If he was smart, he’d be playing a 4-3-3, with Sturridge, Sterling and Rooney up front. Before the World Cup began, the cry was for England to “play like Liverpool”. They are… just the pathetic version of LFC that was on display when Hodgson managed there.

            4. If they can’t recruit four defenders and a goal-keeper capable of not shitting the bed twice a tournament

              They’re capable of shitting the bed three times this tourney. Wait until Costa Rica goes all CONCACAF on them.

        2. England are always overrated. I don’t know that “best team” ever refers to England.

          1. Yes. It is mostly that the British press are completely unrealistic. And England then played below even my expectations.

            1. The press doesn’t help for sure. England’s record at the WC isn’t that bad but nowhere near confirming their belief they sit with the big boys.

              1. If they’re getting their ass kicked by the Germans and Italians, perhaps we should launch an amphibious strike on those soccer academies.

            2. Fuck England. Fuck ’em in the ear. Even though we’re both going home early, at least Australia is getting a few compliments

              1. Your ‘Roos showed great heart against the Dutch, and probably the prettiest volley goal anyone has hit this tournament. I hope you guys jump up and down on Spain’s nuts as a consolation prize.

                1. IFH is Aussie?

                  Cahill’s strike was sweet but hard to beat Van Persie’s hit. Both were wonderful.

  2. Confidence in the U.S. media is at or tied with record lows, according to a new poll from Gallup.

    They probably shouldn’t have reported that poll.

    1. I’m having trouble believing it considering the source.

    2. I’m sure there is some ideological split here. Liberals don’t trust “Faux” news, and conservatives don’t trust MSNBC, CNN, NPR, CBS, ABC, Comedy Central, etc.

      1. Actually one of the polls showed that even libs trust MSNBC even less than they do Fox, it was funny (though the other left end sources rated higher in that demographic than Fox)

        1. Maybe they realized that any network who thought it was a good idea to employ Martin Bashir and al Sharpton actually shouldn’t be trusted.

          Or they’re mad that Joe Scarborough is allowed to express a conservative viewpoint.

          1. “..Or they’re mad that Joe Scarborough is allowed to express a conservative viewpoint.”

            Believing that Scarborough actually has a truly conservative viewpoint, assumes facts not entered into evidence…

    3. I would love to see these numbers dating further back than 2004. My guess is that they’d peak after Watergate and the unraveling of the Vietnam War, and that otherwise they’d be relatively low. Certainly, for much of US history, most news sources were understood to be biased.

      Ultimately, I see the low numbers as a positive. Nothing positive comes out of blind trust in ANY institution.

      1. I’m going to say they started going down after 24 hour cable news and really continued after the internet. Not that cable news made them untrustworthy, but that alternate voices applied to news events showed a lot of people the gatekeepers had been feeding everyone false narratives.

    4. What more can they do to show people how great they are? They already put Obama’s latest scandal above the fold on page 18.

    1. I’m moving to Greenland.

    2. I can’t make out the one for Mexico. Is that chupacabra?

      1. Cirrhosis of the Liver.

      2. Probably lead poisoning

        1. I see what you did there…

    3. Unpossible, I’ve been told Heart Disease doesn’t exist in Japan due to their heart healthy diet

  3. researchers at a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention laboratory in Atlanta failed to properly inactivate the toxic bacteria before sending it along to a another federal science lab.

    The dog fucking has spread to sheep.

  4. Cleveland police officer lets city down one more time.

    1. “Capt. Brian Betley, Fraternal Order of Police president, said the FOP would represent Baker during any police disciplinary hearings.”

    2. Whoa. Unpaid suspension. Isn’t that a violation of his civil rights?

      1. Not just his civil rights, but the rights of the entire community and even threatens the very fabric of society.

      2. He’ll probably get back pay after getting let off.

        1. Including overtime. Don’t forget the overtime.

  5. …researchers at a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention laboratory in Atlanta failed to properly inactivate the toxic bacteria before sending it along to a another federal science lab.

    You do realize this is how the zombie apocalypse is going to begin, right?

    1. Or, it could be like the beginning of Stephen King’s The Stand.

      1. Or perhaps a more current reference. Like mine.

        1. Or perhaps a less cliched reference?

          1. There is nothing more cliched than The Stand.

            1. What about Hamlet? It’s full of cliches!

              /not my joke but I won’t look up the first teller of it.

    2. Checklists, guys. Checklists.

      1. Checklists are for wives at the supermarket.

    1. Hilarious or sad? You be the judge.

      1. it’s funny because they assume somebody is watching.

      2. Hilarious, because they don’t know anything about the word they hate so much.

      3. Hilarious or sad? You be the judge.

        The correct answer is yes!

        The saddest part of this is a push poll, supposedly to select the Redskins’ new name did not include The Washington Police State.

    2. if progtards did not exist, they would have to be invented if only for the lulz. Downside is, some of them move into positions of influence and that’s where the humor ends.

    3. I read Reilly’s article that was linked.

      Lends perspective to this madness.

      1. this has to be the first time anybody has said that sentence.

        1. I assume Reilly is a reference to Rick Reilly? If so I really don’t want to read it.

          1. correct and that article has made me question my stance on this particular position more than anything else I’ve read or heard on the subject due to the fact I happened to have agreed with nearly every word.

        2. I know. Pains me to say but he made some decent points.

    4. NFL coaches should just refuse to name media outlets.

    5. I humbly submit to you: “the Washington R-words”.

    6. “Redskins” just doesn’t seem like a slur to me. Maybe it once was, but no one says that today with any ill intentions. If someone says “redskins” you think of the football team, not some offensive stereotype of an Indian.

      1. It started out as a term they came up with to distinguish themselves from the newcomers.

        1. Then it’s even dumber.

          I wonder how many actual American Indians actually give a shit about this? Seems likely that it’s mostly professional activists looking for attention and cash.

          1. 8%?

          2. I wonder how many actual American Indians actually give a shit about this?

            All they need to do if find one.

          3. I wonder how many actual American Indians actually give a shit about this? Seems likely that it’s mostly professional activists looking for attention and cash.

            Almost none. It is the activists who are pushing this. Then we can move on to Eskimo Pies. I mean Eskimos are lactose intolerant, and it is not real Eskimo ice cream.

            1. And if you are in Canada, Eskimo is apparently a highly offensive term.

              1. And Eskimo is preferred over Inuit in the US as Inuit is offensive.

                1. It’s borderline cultlike adoration of these groups. “Thou shalt not speak our name or the wrath of Prog will be upon you!!”

                2. None are applicable. It’s Dene now.

                  But the Edmonton Eskimos continue to exist!

                  1. None are applicable. It’s Dene now.

                    Maybe in Canada. I still refer to myself as Eskimo, Yup’ik to be exact.

          4. The only poll anyone has conducted said 9%. It’s from ’04 and didn’t verify people’s self identification, but that’s the only polling we have to go on.

  6. Confidence in the U.S. media is at or tied with record lows, according to a new poll from Gallup.

    There’s no reason, at this point, that they shouldn’t do a job swap with Congress, then.

  7. These are the ten best metal bands of all time?

    http://www.theguardian.com/cul…..nbury-rock

    1. No. Led Zeppelin is not metal.

      1. They’re often considered or referred to the ‘first metal band’.

        1. Metal bands go back to at least the brass bands of the early 1800s. Or is brass no longer a metal? 😉

          1. Ah, to be given a chance to sit at Ted’s dinner table.

        2. I thought that was Blue Cheer.

        3. Then they’re often wrongly referred to as that. Zepplin is hard blues rock. The first true metal band is Black Sabbath and I don’t see how anyone can dispute that. It’s still considered metal today, while bands like Deep Purple and Iron Butterfly are not.

      2. Zep isn’t ‘metal’ by current standards but at the time was most certainly heavy metal.

      3. They aren’t metal, but they sort of are the godfathers of metal.

    2. No. Rush is not metal.

      *slap!*

      1. Agree, but it’s funny how those labels have changed over time. Once upon a time my ninth grade friends insisted Black Sabbath and Rush were heavy metal. Now they are classic rock or progressive rock…or something.

        1. Compared to the bands or sounds of the time, they were ‘metal.’

        2. Old Black Sabbath, even back to 1970, is still metal. Listen to it, shit. It’s all palm muted power chords and minor scale arpeggios. It’s unmistakably metal. They fucking invented it. I mean, listen to any of their early albums. It’s still metal. Listen to the song Black Sabbath. It’s slow and simple, but the minor scale, distortion, heavy bass line, gloomy lyrics, etc. add up to metal, period. Then go listen to Into the Void or the whole Sabotage album and tell me it’s not classic metal and just classic rock.

      2. *slap!*

      3. A lot of their ’70s albums could be called metal. Especially in the context of the time. Bands like Deep Purple and Steppin Wolf were some of the first to be called “Heavy Metal” and early Rush was heavier than that in lots of ways.

        1. early Rush was heavier than that in lots of ways

          Indeed. I’d go so far as to characterize Caress of Steel as ploddingly heavy…

      4. Depends on which period you are talking about. Their first 2 albums were most decidedly early Metal. After that they evolved into prog rock

    3. There are ten good metal bands?

      1. Ooh, I don’t think Warty is going to like that.

        1. Me either. Don’t get me started. If I get going with the extreme metal links I won’t stop. Here’s one. Listen to the scream at 3:40.

      2. My favorite of the current definition of metal is Tyr, though I don’t know what sub-heading they fall under. I like a lot of other metal music, but once the gutteral vocals kick in I am done.

    4. The picture they use for Voivod is Buckethead?????

    5. No Iron Maiden?

      Bullshit.

  8. MOTHER ACCUSED OF FATALLY POISONING SON WITH SODIUM
    …A young mother who documented her 5-year-old son’s persistent illness on social media was arrested Tuesday, accused of fatally poisoning him with sodium.

    …Investigators say Lacey Spears was desperate for attention and used her son as a tool to make it happen by publicly documenting his condition. …

    …Lacey documented her son’s various health problems using a public blog. And five months ago, investigators became curious and looked into her son’s death, and that’s when they started gathering mountains of evidence. Finally, a grand jury granted the indictment. …

    1. What a sick, sick person.

    2. Pregnant Czech woman poisoned with disinfectant

      She was getting a test for gestational diabetes, and instead of giving her a glucose solution, the clinic gave her disinfectant.

      1. Lends new meaning to cleanliness is next to godliness.

      2. How do they keep any of that straight in Czech? Surprising stuff like that doesn’t happen all the time:

        http://jakubmarian.com/is-czec…..ages-hard/

        1. Meh. I don’t believe any one language is any “harder” than another.

    3. Munchausen by proxy syndrome. Yes, it’s a real thing. Basically, the mothers like the attention that comes from being the parent of a seriously ill child.

      1. Kinda ties in with the victim = privilege threads from yesterday

    4. I spent the morning reading this article about parents who have forgotten their kids in cars and come back to find them dead. It is just gut-wrenching. I’m going to make part of my routine for getting out of the car to look in the car seat, even if I know I don’t have the kiddo in there.

      1. Good idea to make checking an automatic process, but make sure another part of your routine is stopping and taking a deep breath to refocus as well. The smell of a stressed Brett L could kill anyone within a 100 metre radius

      2. I remember being left in the car a lot. But that was in a time an place where you left your doors unlocked and windows down if it didn’t look like rain. And not in Florida.

        1. This isn’t, “I’m running into the store for eggs and milk.” These people go into work or to bed and don’t come out for 4-12 hours. In modern cars where everyone has AC, the windows are usually up. The stories of these parents realizing what they’ve done is just heartbreaking.

          1. Yeah, that’s bad. As a non-parent, I can’t speak from experience, but how do you forget that you have the kid with you? I guess there are a lot of pretty inattentive parents out there.

            1. It just happens. The kid is quiet, you’re at work. Obviously, you must have stopped at daycare. 99 times out of 100, your brain says, “Oh Shit! We drove right past the daycare!” And probably in 99 of 100 cases of that other 1%, you get a phone call or someone says something that triggers your brain, but I guess over 20 million kids, 15-25 a year just get distracted. I left my car running after coming back from lunch one time. Couldn’t find my keys when it was time to go home, walked out to the car, and it was just idling away… four hours later. I totally understand how it could happen to 2 dozen people a year.

              1. My kids are too damn loud in the back seat to ignore or forget. But a few years ago we had a yellow lab who went to doggy daycare 1x a week to burn off excess lab energy. One bleary morning, I managed to drive right past daycare on my way to work and was just about to walk away from the car when I noticed her curled up on the back seat. It was a cold day so the only real danger would have been to my upholstery, but it is crazy how easy it could have been to leave her in there all day by accident.

            2. I’ve done it. There was a disruption to our normal routine and I had to take my son to school where my wife usually did.

              On the way out he fell asleep in the car and I zoned out listening to the radio went right past the exit where his school was and got halfway to work before he asked me a question about what they were talking about on the radio.

              If he were a year or two younger and just fallen asleep I never would have realized he was there as I went about my day.

      3. It’s absolutely horrible! One thing that would seem to help is to store your stuff in the trunk. Don’t put it in the passenger seat, leave it all the way in the back so that you have to walk right by the car seat to get it.

    5. So what’s next, is she gonna go Barium?

  9. Fun (not quite true) links of science facts.

    And another fun, fake story about two guys in suburban Houston going Jed Clampett.

  10. New York is set to become the 23rd state to legalize medical marijuana?but only in non-smokable forms.

    Didn’t we just get a edible scare? Maureen Dowd is going to totally lose her shit next time she eats a whole cookie.

    1. People will be shooting it up!!!!

    2. She should write about her trial and tribulations of opening and applying a condom.

  11. Do not hire smackheads as hitmen

    http://www.theguardian.com/law…..qi-cardiff

    1. Jaysus. Its like something straight out of a black comedy.

    2. Paging Piers Morgan. Murder committed in the UK. No guns involved. Gasp!

    3. Thanks for depressing me this morning. About to go for a run.

      1. And thanks for depressing me this morning. I was just sitting here thinking about how I will have to skip my workout today so I can leave early to go to a wedding that I have no interest in going to.

        1. I’m here to encourage.

          1. At least it’s Friday and the bar will be open for many, many hours. Basically the opposite of working out.

  12. Ukrainian forces have closed off the country’s eastern border with Russia.

    And only just in time!

  13. Silly cosmologists think “data trumps models” in debate over whether Inflation signal was found in the BICEP data. These guys are never going to hobnob with royalty in swank retreats at this rate.

    Prof Marc Kamionkowski, from Johns Hopkins University, commented that what we were witnessing currently was “science in action”.

    “If it was not such an exciting result, you would not be hearing so much about it,” he said in a phone conversation last week.

    “We’re going to need confirmation by independent groups. That’s the way things work in science. We don’t believe things because somebody says they’re true; we believe them because different people make the measurements independently and find the same results.”

    1. No, no, no. We believe things because the group says they’re true!

    2. is there a consensus on that point of view? Because one thing we have all learned is that science is not really science without consensus.

    3. Wait, did he take a vote? Because I have it Tony’s word that science is done by consensus, not by testing and observation!

    4. Whether data trumps models or models trump data depends on which direction the grant money flows.

      If the models support more government, then models trump because that’s the way the money flows.

  14. California, progressive bastion, still carrying the eugenics banner? Some things never change.

    1. I’m surprised it was only 25% that were without consent.

    1. Think rule 34 will be applicable when he gets older?

      1. It looks too flaccid for that.

    2. Ignorance is bliss.

    3. They call that “long” in India? I qualify as at least a demigod by that standard.

      1. And Warty would be the God of Gods.

  15. Washington cop beats his kid to the point that he has to go to the hospital. Is actually charged.

    FTA: Bellard’s attorney argued there is case law that allows a parent to discipline their child.

    “My client is a very good family man. He’s been a very good police officer over the years. I’m not going to get into the defense of this case, but he will have his day in court,” attorney Terry Kennedy said.

    Sounds like he’s a perfect cop!

    TRIGGER WARNING: Autoplay video at the link.

  16. Workers forced to say ‘I love you’ or be fired

    http://www.torontosun.com/2014…..=pulsenews

    1. ‘i love you’ , IFH

      1. “but I’m not in love with you.”

        1. Slammer, you may work for another week. Go slop out the orphans’ quarters.

          Auric, you’re fired. Please turn in your golden budgie smugglers at the door

          1. Now I don’t even love you.

    2. “Welcome to Costco, I love you.”

      1. Ha! I even had the link!

    3. practice a spiritual belief system called Onionhead while on the job

      Seriously? Reality eclipses parody.

      1. Yeah, I had to search those company names just to make sure this wasn’t from the Onion*.

        *I suppose Onionhead is a little too on-the-nose for them, but, go figure.

    4. Here’s another unforced *slap!*

  17. A Little Blue Book

    Five things they don’t tell you about economics

    My fav: Economics is not a science

    1. Economic arguments are often justification for what politicians want to do anyway

      Agreed. This completely explains why Keynes is so popular with pols. It’s a school of economics that argues that an active Government is essential for a functioning economy. Keynesianism always presents politicians with a course of action so that they can pursue, so they can look purposeful and powerful.

      1. Sadly, I think a great deal of actual ‘science’ is also being co-opted to the same purposes.

      2. “Practical men who believe themselves to be quite exempt from any intellectual influence, are usually the slaves of some defunct economist. Madmen in authority, who hear voices in the air, are distilling their frenzy from some academic scribbler of a few years back.”
        -John Maynard Keynes

    1. Inflation doesn’t exist, but BUY GOLD NOW anyway, Peanuts! DERP-POOPING!

  18. Maryland police officer pleads guilty to second degree assault. Is still on the job.

    FTA: The Police Chief Mark Magaw said in a press release, “Our officers are held to the highest standard, whether they are on or off duty. Any behavior that betrays the trust of our community will not be tolerated and is not acceptable.”

    Except, you know, for the fact that they are tolerated and are acceptable.

  19. The worst reasons ever to support a higher gas tax?

    1. We have to pay for roads and bridges somehow.
    2. Alternatives to a higher gas tax are worse.
    3. You might not even notice.

    1. I was thinking about the horrible proposals to have the gov monitor your miles traveled in order to charge user fees.

      If we’re going to move away from gas taxes, why not just have your miles recorded when your car is inspected and then you get a bill based on miles traveled and the weight of your car? Of course, not all states have inspections.

      SLD: ROADZ

      1. But then they can’t see where those miles were!

    2. If the price of gas goes up and the money winds up in the pockets of the oil companies, that’s just evil.

      If the price of gas goes up and the money winds up in the pockets of the government sector, it suddenly, magically become virtuous.

      1. Government is god, therefore higher gas tax is just tithing. (Of course, tithing, by definition, means 10% of your fruits of labor, but don’t let that get in the way of them confiscating 60% in the name of their god)

    3. Honestly, I don’t think 1 and 2 are terrible reasons. As far as taxes go, gas taxes are pretty reasonable (assuming they get spent on roads like they are supposed to) as they are close to a user fee. And if any tax rise is justified, gas tax probably is as it doesn’t automatically increase with inflation.
      I suppose tolls or a mileage based fee would be fairer in some ways, but those both open a lot of opportunities for monitoring peoples movements. I’d rather pay for roads anonymously. For the same reason, I sort of like the idea of some sort of sales tax or VAT as an alternative to income tax (only if income tax is completely abolished). Collecting information about everyone’s income is a major invasion of privacy and a huge load on employers.

    4. I support tolerate gas taxes ONLY if they are exclusively used for roads and other automobile infrastructure.

  20. Is this what would happen if cannabis was legal in Britain? Suicides, killings and toddlers in hospital with overdoses – TOM LEONARD visits Colorado, where marijuana has just been legalised

    Peter Williams says he can make $1billion in three years growing the drug
    Drug baron is trying to make his business into ‘McDonald’s of marijuana’
    Since January 1, more than 200 dispensaries have been set up in Denver

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..lised.html
    Derpaliscious!

    1. I agree: no subjunctive = derp.

    2. Yeah, none of those things ever happen where pot is illegal. Shouldn’t be surprising from the DM, I guess.

      1. When those things happen and drugs are involved, then drugs were the sole cause.

        Remember that if a speeder runs a red light and smashes into a stoned driver, it was a drug related accident caused by the stoned driver.

  21. U.S. falls behind Benin, Haiti and Bangladesh as it slips outside the top 100 most peaceful countries because of rampant gun ownership and terrorism fears

    Boston Marathon bombing contributes to decline in U.S. peace ranking
    U.S. now closely trails Benin, Haiti and Bangladesh while Syria least peaceful
    Iceland, Denmark and Austria ranked the top three most peaceful countries

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..fears.html
    Gun ownership makes a country less peaceful. Because guns just get up and do violent things all by themselves.

    1. How do we rank in measures of actual violence?

      1. No idea. But according to this if we rank equal with regards to violence with another country that has disarmed its population, then we are less peaceful. Because guns.

    2. So, people owning small arms (not using them) and the military having a nuclear arsenal (which has been used only twice, 70 years ago) count toward being a more violent country? OK.

      1. Less peaceful. I guess irrational fear makes a place less peaceful, even if it is less violent.

      2. Well, US biological weaponry was used to terrorize the US civilian population back in 2001.

        There’s that, too.

    3. Must be why all those American refugees are showing up in Bangledesh and Haiti.

    4. The Marathon bombings were a terrible event, yes….

      But I really doubt that fewer than 100 people were killed/(mostly)injured in Benin, Haiti, and Bangladesh over the year due to violence.

    1. Translation: I hope I don’t get fired like John Morse, Angela Giron, or an forced to “resign” like Evie Hudak.

      1. “I am shocked and dismayed that actions I undertook to bolster my polls worked exactly the opposite way. The people who advised me during that period have been fired. Please don’t send me back to be a nobody!”

  22. Are you brave enough to take on Goliath? Six Flags open world’s tallest, steepest and fastest wooden roller coaster

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..aster.html
    I might if it wasn’t made of wood.

    1. I watched a show about roller coaster design once and the lead designer of (at the time) largest wooden coaster said “If it doesn’t shake it will break”. Not that this should make it seem any safer.

    2. That’s not a wooden roller coaster. Well, not like any I’ve seen. I check the manufacturer, Rocky Mountain Construction. They’ve done some cool things with steel on wood structures, kind of a hybrid coaster. Iron Rattler in New Mexico is another goodie from them. If the ride is smooth, and stays smooth in 5-10 years I imagine there will be more to come from them.

  23. Taking the plunge! Keri Russell sets pulses racing in risque low-cut gown at Critics’ Choice Awards

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..wards.html
    Not her best look, but no way I’d kick her out of bed either.

    1. There was no change in my pulse.

      1. Like I said, not her best look.

      2. Stop fapping and get your heart rate down to its base before looking at the photo.

    2. She has aged very, very nicely.

  24. Now that is one huge drive down the fairway! Police launch investigation after three police cars rampage through crowded golf course in pursuit of suspect

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..spect.html
    What do the cops care? The courts will force the guy they were chasing to fix anything they destroyed.

  25. He’s brave! Man wearing a suit made of Mentos is dumped into a pool of Diet Coke… with explosive results

    Made by YouTube channel Epic Meal Time to promote upcoming TV show
    Shows man in ‘Mentos suit’ falling in vat of Diet Coke with explosive effect
    The reaction is believed to be a result of nucleation, whereby pores on Mentos catalyze the release of carbon dioxide in the Diet Coke

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..sults.html

    1. The fate of the testee remains unclear

      Awesome!

    2. It doesn’t matter what comes
      Fresh goes better with life
      With Mentos fresh and full of life

  26. “It’s Not How It Looks”: Murder Suspect Defends Selfie With Corpse

    Today in news that reads like bad satire aimed at amoral millennials: the tale of Kirsty Edmondson, a 23-year-old sex worker who allegedly killed a former teacher with a lethal heroin dose, took a selfie with his body, and lived in his apartment with the corpse for a week.

    OMG u guis, teach iz totes ded!!!

    1. bad satire aimed at amoral millennials BSAAAM

      Nice band name.

      1. Speaking of nice band names, Warty made this statement yesterday in the P.M. Links:

        So it’s a merkin with an uncomfortable anus attachment.

        Which raises the question: Is Uncomfortable Anus Attachment a nice band name, or a Freudian diagnosis?

        Or, maybe both???

  27. What a great guy. Cop’s three year old daughter accidentally kills herself with his weapon at home. A year later, it turns out that he was fucking a 17 year old volunteer at the station.

    Way to use your head there, supercop.

    1. 1) What is the age of consent there?

      2) What kind of freak 17 year old volunteers for the cops?

      1. 1) Not relevant with all the “position of authority” statutes on the books.

        2) An idiot.

      2. One who wants to fuck a cop?

        1. Rule 34

        2. Or perhaps she wanted something else from the cop and was just using sex to get it.

      3. Who among us would have gotten laid in high school without the stupidity of other teenagers?

        1. **raises hand**

          Didn’t everybody get to have sex with a 20 year old while on their college visits?

      4. It’s California; it’s illegal for anyone to have sex with anyone under 18, no exceptions.

    2. How in the fuck did he not get fired, let alone arrested, for his daughter killing herself with his gun? Fucking A, that pisses me off far more than the sex with a minor.

  28. What an amateur. Didn’t they teach this cop at the academy to always carry a drop gun!

    Note his fellow officers that lied in their report were merely demoted. They’ll hopefully learn their lesson and make sure to plant evidence the next time they participate in a fucking murder.

    1. I wonder how many cops will show up at his trial? To offer support you know.

  29. White House beginning to consider conflicts in Syria and Iraq as single challenge

    Ya think? For a Muslim, O sure is slow to connect the historical dots of his faith. /sarc

    1. Huh. Maybe the “Iraq and Syria” in the ISIS name…

      1. Are we not doing phrasing anymore?

  30. Woman reeks of desperation, can’t figure out why guy doesn’t call her back.

    Much like the happenings of Allan Kaprow, a hangout leaves a person feeling somewhat unsettled and largely confused. Why are the women in nests? Why was there jam involved? Or, why did he pay for dinner, if it wasn’t a date? Why touch my leg if merely in pursuit of theological exegesis? We briefly texted each other in the coming days, but there was no follow-through on the plans he had eagerly proposed.

    1. Uh, maybe becasue he didn’t like you?

    2. It also sounds like she sat around waiting for him to ask her out too. If she really wanted to go out and he hadn’t asked, she should just do it. Then she’ll get her answer immediately, too.

      1. As a guy raised to be unfailingly polite, I know exactly how this happens. If you invite a girl out, you pay for her meal and pay attention to her and observe the proper etiquette (like holding the umbrella). So yeah, she had a trial run with a well-mannered guy who didn’t want to go further. This is what happens when the average dude is a Philistine.

        1. I wish I was willing to split the check when I didn’t plan on asking for a second date. I’d have saved a lot of money over the past 2 years.

    3. Holy shit, if her conversation is anything like her writing, she should be thankful men don’t run screaming after spending 15 minutes with her.

    1. While blaring a Lou Reed song about the Ground Zero Mosque.

        1. We’re retooling. And retraining staff to post on time.

    1. I love the fat ass cat hanging out in the first picture.

    2. A +2 two-handed sword! Always wanted one of those…how many gold pieces?

      1. Poseur. Holy Avenger or Vorpal Blade, or go home.

        1. +4 Giant Slayer.

    3. For some reason, that makes me happy.

      It won’t last.

    4. Stainless Steel Bokken

      A bokken is a wooden sword, so I’m not sure what is meant here.

      Still, neat stuff.

    5. Who’s the fag holding the Thunder Cats sword?

      1. Lion-OH!!!

        /Here all week, folks.

    6. “Beard Armor… because why not?”

  31. Obamas Want Daughters To Get Taste Of Life On Minimum Wage

    The president scooped ice cream at Baskin-Robbins, waited tables at an assisted-living facility for seniors and also worked as a painter. The first lady worked at a book binding shop.

    “I think every kid needs to get a taste of what it’s like to do that real hard work,” Michelle Obama said in an interview with Parade magazine, slated to run on Sunday.

    “We are looking for opportunities for them to feel as if going to work and getting a paycheck is not always fun, not always stimulating, not always fair,” the president said. “But that’s what most folks go through every single day.”

    But only if the minimum wage is $20/hour.

    1. Just a taste, though. Then it’s back to the silver spoon.

    2. If they want the kids to get a taste of the real world, they should take 40% of their pocket money, use it to buy spinach, and force them to eat it. Or give the money to a renewable energy company or something

      1. You mean, take back 40%, set it on fire in front of them, and laugh in their faces.

      2. Ooh, I like this idea. Then Obama should lecture them about how they aren’t paying their fair share and they didn’t build that.

      3. By the way, IFH, what did we do to you Aussies that you felt the need to inflict Iggy Azalea on us? I apologize for whatever injustice we may have committed.

        1. Don’t blame us – she had to go to the US to get famous.

          1. But seriously, I think we should take her and Beiber’s eggs and fuse them to make someone capable of producing the worst music on the planet.

            1. Silence, fool! Baby Beibazalea could be weaponised and wipe out all life on earth! HAVE YOU NO CONSCIENCE?

              1. Global ultradeath is preferable to their music.

      4. They want her to live like common people? They want her to see whatever common people see?

      5. That’s what I used to do with my kids. I gave them $5/week allowance and made them give me $2 back for taxes.

        1. That’s a bit steep, but hey they did get free health care.

    3. “But that’s what most folks go through every single day.”

      By “most folks,” this idiot means about 5% of the workforce.

      I swear, he’s a fucking idiot. And the media lets him get away with this scare-mongering bullshit every time he opens his mouth and spouts another lie in his little game of class-warfare. Fuck him and fuck his adoring media sycophants. Fuck all of them.

      1. this idiot means about 5% of the workforce

        And half of them are teenagers or college students.

        1. And an unspecified number are waiters who get tips.

      2. On top of it being a pointless exercise in class consciousness, it will also be expensive as well.

        That is unless Obama is willing to let his little snowflakes “scoop ice cream at Baskin Robbins” without their Secret Services minders in constant attendance.

        In fact given how expensive it is for anyone in that family to go anywhere, as far as I’m concerned they all should be locked in the White House for the duration of his term.

    4. I wonder if they’ll get a taste of what it’s like to to get a cushy sinecure at a hospital based solely on political patronage?

    5. I wish Obama would give his daughters a taste if life as ENTREPRENEURS. you come up with a cool idea, take big risks, and when you succeed, watch vampire government sucking your life’s work in the name of “good”. But then, what do expect from a “community organizer”?

    6. “We are looking for opportunities for them to feel as if going to work and getting a paycheck is not always fun, not always stimulating, not always fair,” the president said.

      But no way in hell are we going to subject them to a government school to see where schooling is not fun, stimulating, or fair.

    1. For once, your link works…unfortunately.

    2. Hovering was enough.

      1. That’s how pee ends up all over the seat, Lana.

      2. That was enough to showed it’s for those poop fetishers and not me.

    3. I read that yesterday in Vice. And am still having flashbacks

    4. “Sure, it’s disturbing, but it also speaks to how bored we become with sexual images and how quickly we become desensitized to them, always looking for another peak when we plateau at a favorite scene.”

      That’s why I devoted an entire essay to it.

      “The fact that as more and more pornographic images become readily available, it takes much more to scratch one’s sexual itch. And sometimes, that leads to the necessity for extremism. Even when it comes at the expense of the performers.

      It’s a better world when people are not allowed to make non-violent, consensual decisions for themselves.

      1. The fact that as more and more pornographic images become readily available, it takes much more to scratch one’s sexual itch.

        SF, how about just cutting to the chase and releasing the *ultimate* image?

        1. A Serbian Film beat me to it. 🙁

        2. Here you go:

          http://kenisu.webs.com/01. Welcome To Duckburg.jpg

          1. Try this:

            http://img.gawkerassets.com/im…..xlarge.jpg

    5. A modern exploration of Citizen Kane’s most ambiguous quote?

    6. Isn’t this a Pink Sock?

      1. I think if I had any interest at all in anal, it is now officially gone.

        1. Anal doesn’t result in that unless you are trying to do it. Or you are fooling around with one of those horse dildos.

          Also, never vaginally or anally masturbate with a bottle. The suction can cause these sort of results.

          1. Also, never vaginally or anally masturbate with a bottle. The suction can cause these sort of results.

            I imagined this line being delivered by some Hollywood celebrity on one of those ‘Now you know’ PSAs.

            1. I imagined this line being delivered by some Hollywood celebrity on one of those ‘Now you know’ PSAs.

              “I’m Hal Holbrook. Never put a bottle in your ass. Or your in pink party parts for you young ladies out there. Am I really supposed to be read this? Is that camera on?”

          2. Some guy in my gym class said he did that to a girl with his penis I thought at the time it was implausible, now being older and wiser I feel the same way.

          3. I know, but I still think I will stick with boring vaginas.

            Although, my wife is 8 months pregnant and I have a two year old. I should be less picky when it comes to sex.

        2. Don’t let these freaks ruin your fun, CPA.

          If I didn’t let All Creatures Great and Small ruin…any sex…I mean, really.

    7. Oh my motherfucking god, Sug.

      1. The worst part? I already knew all this. I made a rosebud joke on here like four years ago.

        If you can manage the comments, see if you can spot the agent provocateur troll.

        1. Jesus, I couldn’t manage the article. Fuck the comments.

  32. “Stanford professor Paul Ehrlich made headlines last month when he told journalists that overpopulation and resource scarcity would eventually drive hungry humans to cannibalism. Sensational as that sounds, it’s an old idea: Anthropologist Marvin Harris argued in his 1977 Cannibals and Kings that cannibalism has historically facilitated human population expansion by providing an important source of protein.”

    http://www.newrepublic.com/art…..ign=buffer

    1. When dinner varies from person to person.

    2. This douche is still around and taken seriously? Holy shit.

    3. Does anybody listen credibly to Paul Ehrlich? He’s been wrong in the same direction for 40 years.

    4. That’s his story and he’s sticking with it…til he dies…and becomes food. Seriously, the guy watched Soylent Green and didn’t realize it was fiction.

      1. He also watched [SPOILER ALERT] Fried Green Tomatoes.

    5. the fact that this huckster has a job at all at this point makes me hungry for the flesh of the people who hired him.

      1. They probably taste like shit.

        1. Cannibals claim that human flesh tastes like salty pork.

          Sounds delicious to me.

            1. “Never much cared for it, myself”

              /Woodhouse

              1. Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his neighbor in the forest?

                1. Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his neighbor in the forest?

                  I assume you mean he shat him out.

                  Q) Know what the definition of trust is?

                  A) Gay cannibal.

                  Q) Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?

                  A) They taste funny.

                  That’s it. I’m tapped out of cannibal jokes.

    6. Ehrlich should be president-for-life of the “Why does anyone listen to this asshole” club.

  33. Pope opposes drug legalization.

    http://www.cnn.com/2014/06/20/…..?hpt=hp_t2

    1. This Pope is starting to lose his charm.

      He says legalization policies “fail to produce the desired effects”.

      That assumes a lot. I’d say they quite effectively achieve the desired effect of no longer punishing people for things that never should have been crimes in the first place.

    2. Francis, you broke my heart bong.

  34. New York is set to become the 23rd state to legalize medical marijuana?but only in non-smokable forms.

    Eli Lilly rejoices.

  35. Today I have 4.5 hours of meetings between 9 and 1. Fortunately they’re mostly conference calls so I’m hanging out on HnR anyway.

    1. Doing the same. “Sizing” a project Agile style. Not exactly sure how losing four whole days to meetings makes me a more effective developer. But I am assured that it makes it easier to get more funding out of clients after we lowball to get ourselves in the door. So hooray for us.

      1. I am assured that it makes it easier to get more funding out of clients after we lowball to get ourselves in the door.

        That’ll never backfire on you.

        1. Just as long as I understand that the “Agile” that has swept my department is the Project Manager version of Agile, not writing software according to the principles laid out in the Agile Manifesto, I will be fine. Its the junior guys who think that this is going to change the traditional consulting model whereby the sales guys make bids that are about 2/3rds of the actual work we estimated, and then it will be up to us, the developers, to try to work hard enough that we get 85% of the way there and hopefully the client will be stuck having to buy the rest.

          Did I mention I’m feeling very cynical about the whole process lately? After 15 years, I know that my estimates are going to be closer than the sales guy’s. But most clients want to tell you about a $500k system, then shit themselves when you quote that to them. Because they have no clue what custom software costs. Non-custom software costs between $50 and $25000. Adding 20x to it gets their attention.

          1. My (new to the company) manager keeps trying to get me to be more involved with the sales part. I can’t seem to get it through his head that junior consultants are supposed to do the billable work. If he wants me to sell more, promote me (and therefore give me a raise). Then I’ll deal with that crap.

            1. Sales guys are always talking about upselling and onselling and basically selling any time you have a conversation with a client. Because you’ve “wasted an opportunity” if you don’t.

              1. Whenever I am in a room with a salesman, my initial reaction is to automatically distrust everything he or she says. It is just ingrained in me that whenever someone I just met is trying to be my best buddy, there is some angle they want to establish, and I never give it to them. I think salespeople hate me, and that is OK with me.

                1. I sit on the same floor as sales guys (they’re only in the office a couple time each quarter) and it’s amazing how fake they are, even with their coworkers. I’ve never been around so much smalltalk between strangers disguised as best friends seeing each other after a short time apart.

          2. We had an “Agile coach” on premises this week. Agile is like CrossFit or Paleo. There are some good things in all of those, if you tailor it to your style. The acolytes, however, are insane.

            1. Agree 100%. Its the part where the PMs have re-ossified an anti-system into a system that is killing me.

    2. That’s most of when I’m on H&R.

  36. Taxes do not matter to businesses! States with high taxes don’t lose businesses to states with low taxes! No business leaves CA because of high taxes!

    “Showing them the money: California awarded tens of millions of dollars in tax credits Thursday to companies looking to expand or relocate in the state and hire more people.”
    http://www.sfgate.com/business…..565977.php

  37. 2nd officer suspended in slitting of dog’s throat

    […]

    Court documents say Officer Thomas Schmidt held the dog down while a fellow officer cut the animal’s throat on Saturday. Schmidt has been suspended with pay during the investigation, Baltimore Police spokesman Jeremy Silbert said.

    […]

    The officer accused of slitting the dog’s throat, 49-year-old Jeffrey Bolger, faces trial next month on animal cruelty charges. He’s free on his own recognizance and has been suspended without pay.

    […]

    According to charging documents, witnesses told detectives that Bolger cut the dog’s throat with a knife after saying he would “gut this thing.” Authorities said the knife he used wasn’t department-issued.

    —-

    None of that namby-pamby shooting of dogs for Officer Bolger; he went for the personal touch.

    1. The dog was killed three months after another officer was accused of beating and choking his girlfriend’s puppy to death and texting her a photo of the dead dog. That officer was charged with aggravated animal cruelty.

      Fucking coward.

  38. As male helicopter pilots they fought it out to get the best shot of OJ Simpson’s police chase, now they have BOTH become women (and best friends)

    Dirk Vahle and Bob Tur were rival male TV helicopter pilots in California
    Fought over who was first to spot OJ Simpson car chase in June 1994
    But pair are now friends after becoming women, Dana Vahle and Zoey Tur

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..women.html

    1. No, they didn’t.

      1. You can’t turn an X into a Y.

        1. Sure you can. Just erase that part in the lower right quadrant.

          1. d
            e
            r
            p

            1. Oh, piss off. Your simple, pat answers to complicated questions about biology and psychology of gender identity are at least as derpy.

      2. You know what they mean.

    2. “Dirk Vahle?” The man was born with a porn star name and he threw it away.

    3. I smell a sitcom!

      1. I’m thinking they both live with a loveable, but decidedly boyish male roommate and they engage in all sorts of hijinx that imply but never quite come out and say that all three are sleeping together.

    1. Inevitably, an Onion story

      1. Hey nice pommie smackdown above.

        Still celebrating State of Origin?

        1. Watched SoO, got elated, and then by 4am was deflated after the Netherlands game, and haven’t quite recovered yet. Also, not enough biff. But I love Loz Daley and am so pleased he took the Blues to victory, so once I’m over these World Cup blues I’ll recommence the celebrations.

          Have you been watching the Socceroos?

          1. Yeah, it’s been great. Their games are on in the middle of the day and since it’s summer, I can watch them. Was pretty worried after the Chile game. Can’t lay everything on the goal-keeping b/c the defense was all over the place early on in that game. But Maty Ryan came out for the ball on the first goal and didn’t get it which is cardinal error. But, that said, they looked completely out of their depth for the first 20-30 minutes or so.

            But they have been a lot better since. Hoping for a good result against Spain.

            And for the Americans commenting on England above, there’s a reason they’re almost universally referred to as “pommie whingers.”

    2. So am I wrong in reading this and thinking that it sounds EXACTLY like a person saying, “A lot of people I valued told me I was drinking too much, I became very involved in sobriety and caused a lot of other people to question their drinking. I have gone back to drinking, hurting some people who care about me deeply because they fear drinking will cause me harm?”

      Don’t misunderstand, I don’t think drinking a lot is a wrong in itself, even if it results in liver disease or early death, and I don’t really like the 12 Step model of addiction as being an all or nothing thing that people either have or don’t.

      1. It sounds that way to me. Drinking presents certain risks, gay sex presents certain risks.

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