Obama Declares Plans for Iraq, Supreme Court Limits Idea-Based Patents, Ron Paul to Appear in Atlas Shrugged: P.M. Links


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  1. Today’s lunch conversation:

    Friend #1: if you had to get rid of one constitutional amendment, which one would it be?
    Friend #2: the 2nd amendment.
    Friend #3: modify the 2nd as suggested by Justice Stevens. Don’t get rid of it.
    Me: the 16th amendment.


    Friend #1: what is the 16th amendment?
    Friend #2: yeah, what is the 16th amendment?
    Friend #3: wow. Are you serious?

    Luckily for me, it was time to calculate the tip and split the bill. I’m sure the conversation will continue at a later date. In hindsight, I wish I hadn’t opened my mouth though. Most of my friends are committed leftists.

    1. Get some new friends; you’re running with a bad crowd and it’ll end badly.

    2. Are these guys also Indians? Every Indian I’ve ever talked to about guns seems incapable of understanding why anyone would want a weapon. I don’t get it.

      1. Gandhi envy.

      2. Yeah, it’s not like there’s any rape problem in India or anything.

      3. Warty, you basically just accused him of being sticky rice.

        1. Basically?

      4. Still relying on bows and arrows are they?

        1. Don’t diss Arjuna, man.

      5. Next time, point out that India and America were both tyrannized by the Brits. One country was armed to the teeth, the other one delegated security to warrior castes. The historical result will hopefully show them.

        1. The historical result will hopefully show them.

          Right. India had to wait until England was too polite to keep exploiting them.

      6. Are these guys also Indians?

        Nope. All white guys.

        1. All white guys.

          I hate those fuckers.

        2. They’re the worst. After Nikki, of course.

    3. In hindsight, I wish I hadn’t opened my mouth though. Most of my friends are committed leftists.

      You could have been sooooo much more inflammatory. This was a mere brush with depressing reality. Good luck with your pals.

      1. I was surprised that 2 of the 3 did not know what the 16th amendment is. Which makes me wonder why only immigrants are required to pass an exam for citizenship.

        1. It wouldn’t bother me a bit if everyone who wanted to vote had to take the test. The assumption, of course, is that if you were born here you were exposed to all the necessary civics courses, etc. in school, or that it’s just not right to deprive the uninformed and uneducated of the right to vote.

          Like many assumptions, it’s incorrect, like the civics instructor (it was a TA, not someone tenured) in college who said the famous “fire in a crowded theater” case was from someone shouting fire in a crowded theater.

          1. The assumption, of course, is that if you were born here you were exposed to all the necessary civics courses, etc. in school

            Huh. I thought the assumption was that if you were born here it’s your country (as much as anyone else’s anyway) and therefore your right to have a say in how you are governed.
            Anything like a test to be allowed to vote is going to rely on TOP MEN running things who are honest and not trying to gain some advantage and we all know how that turns out.
            The only real solution is to make government (and therefore voting) less important and more limited in scope.

            1. There are techniques that don’t rely on corruptible test administrators:

              – No party labels on ballots. You want to vote for TEAM X, you better remember who TEAM X’s candidate is.
              – No names at all, use UUIDs.
              – Write in only.
              – Fake candidates thrown in to confuse the weak-minded (maybe old incumbents, just to really mess things up).

              1. Why I remember, back in the heady days of the b652463a-7d0e-451c-8d2f-8b08b76621c0 administration, …

            2. The only real solution is to make government (and therefore voting) less important and more limited in scope.

              Well said. Bastiat wrote about this in “The Law” when he talks about universal suffrage. He basically said that it us better to limit the law because that will have a better impact than expanding suffrage.

        2. why only immigrants are required to pass an exam for citizenship

          It’s hard to get newborn infants to take an exam.

          I actually wouldn’t care about people’s ignorance of laws and how government works and things like that if they didn’t insist on having political opinions anyway. There are much better things to do with your time. I often regret giving as much of a fuck as I do and wasting my time getting worked up about this kind of stuff.

    4. Anyone who would repeal the bill of rights is a fascist. That said, besides the 16th, I would repeal the 19th.

      1. WAR ON WIMMINS!!1!11ELEVEN!!

      2. This is why… something something. Oh “pancakes”.

    5. “we really need to get rid of people’s right to self defense”!

      (silent nods)

      “How about we let people actually maintain their earned income”?


    6. easy, 17th. No difference between house and senate these days.

    7. Even if you repeal the 16th, the courts have said that it was merely a clarification of a power that the government already had.

      1. So amend the 16th to prohibit an income tax.

        1. The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes on incomes, from whatever source derived, without apportionment among the several States, and without regard to any census or enumeration, not.

        2. The Congress shall go panhandle at every major street in America to get revenue.

    8. I’ve been opposed to the Seventeenth Amendment for some time now. Popular election of Senators sounds all nice and democratic, but it was blatantly a massive power grab by the Feds to neutralize the influence of individual states.

      1. I know better who should represent my state than my state legislature.

        1. Respectfully, you don’t know which hand to wipe your ass with.

        2. Not a surprise, Bo, as you seem to know better about everything.

          1. So, which statement is more compatible with liberty:

            (1) The individual knows better who should represent his interests; or

            (2) The legislature knows better than the individual who should represent said individual’s interests.

            Sorry, Bo is right.

            1. I’m eagerly awaiting your dissertation on why we should abolish the Electoral College. Same logic.

              1. We should abolish all state colleges.

              2. Are you then against referendum and initiative, based on similar logic?

            2. But sort of misses the point. And you missed what he said a bit. He said “represent my state” not “represent me”. The whole debate here is whether Senators should represent the states or the individual citizens of the states.

              What we really need is lots more House members representation. Like thousands more. 2 people from a state really isn’t very representative anyway, whether elected by popular vote or by a legislature.

              1. But, you are assuming that there is some kind of special magic to that which the original mercantilists wrought, you know the Hamiltons and Washingtons et al who, in violation of the Articles of Confederation, decided to create a LEVIATHAN.

              2. What we really need is lots more House members representation. Like thousands more.

                I can see your point, but I’m worried that adding to the congressional head count will diminish the already waning power of Congress in relation to the Executive branch. It will hasten the path to an imperial presidency, which we already seem to be moving towards. How about changing the presidency to a presidential council of 3 or more presidents? It was one of the ideas thrown around during the time of the constitutional convention if I remember it right.

            3. Considering what has happened to the size and nature of the federal government since that amendment was passed, I don’t see how you could be a libertarian and think that.

              State legislators nominating Senators was an integral part of what made the country a Republic. Individuals are represented by Congress. To have Senators elected by popular vote has been a predictable disaster for freedom.

              1. Post ergo propter hoc

              2. No, the constitution has been a disaster for liberty.

              3. By that logic, we ought to constitutionally ban airplanes. Look what has happened to the size and nature of the federal government since they were invented!

            4. Except that the Representative is supposed to represent the individuals interests.

              The Senator is supposed to represent the state’s interests.

        3. How do you know that?

          Also, that’s why there is a House of Representatives.

          1. Are we according some kind of genius to the founding fathers? Not prepared to do that.

            1. You’re right, better to listen to the “progressive” nitwits who came up with the idea of direct election of Senators.

              1. Yeah, like an anarcho-free enterprise-individualist like me would listen to a progressive.

            2. No, I don’t really assume that. I just think that the original constitutional order was better than what it has turned into. That is not to say that it is perfect or even the best one could hope for.

              I’m pretty philosophically anarchist, but I think there is still some point (or amusement at least) in engaging in debates about practical politics. Government is always an evil, but probably is inevitable.

              1. Hard to argue with your point that the original constitutional order was better than what it has become.

                Believe me, I do enjoy engaging in debate within the realm of practical politics and the existing state of the law. Wouldn’t almost all of us here be included in that group?

          2. How do I know that I know what’s best for me or my state than my state legislature?

            I guess you’d have to know my state legislature.

            1. Please note, I’m not just declaring you wrong here. But I think there is a good argument to be made against popular election of senators. There are also compelling arguments for it. I just wish it mattered less in either case. It should matter about as much as who gets elected Town Clerk or Fence Viewer. No one I vote for ever wins anyway.

        4. Which is not the issue.

          It is that Senators were envisioned as representing the government of a state. Popular election of Senators means that there is no check on them from the constituency whose interests they theoretically represent

    9. Most of my friends are committed leftists.

      My recommendation:

      Fix them or get rid of them.

      1. Outside of politics which I rarely discuss with them, they’re great friends. Was it Thomas Paine that said, “Society unites us, government DIVIDES us”?

        1. In the South, back in the day, you’d never discuss politics or religion, not because you figured that everyone agreed with you but because there was a good case that they didn’t, and it would be a shame to ruin perfectly fine relationships over such things. Besides, if they disagree with you, they’re going to be burning in Hell for eternity, so why not be nice to them now?

        2. I jest.

          But seriously, I personally don’t have any close liberal friends. It’s a personal decision and obviously not for everyone. I just can’t see having a relationship with someone I’m that diametrically opposed to.

          What would we talk about when we got drunk?

          And most of my conservative friends “lean” libertarian or are in the process of being converted. 😉

        3. Or, what Ten Bears and Josey Wales said.

          1. There is iron in your words of death for all Comanche to see, and so there is iron in your words of life. No signed paper can hold the iron. It must come from men.

            1. You, sir, just posted three of the greatest sentences ever uttered in cinematic history.

              That movie is just a masterpiece.

    10. 16th. I like your answer but I think I would have to go with the 17th.

    11. I wish I hadn’t opened my mouth though.

      Good advice. I just nod and smile when politics comes up.

      There’s no upside to being honest about it, at all.

  2. Ron Paul will be appearing in the third chapter of the film adaptation of Atlas Shrugged, as will Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity.


    1. You know, you may want to take it upon yourself to reflect on why they want to appear in it and consider they may be (imperfect) *friends*.

      1. Huh? No I mean stop trying to convert Atlas Shrugged into a movie series. They should never have made part two.

        Also, I don’t think Hannity is a friend perfect or otherwise.

        1. Dude, really? It’s a troll.

          I don’t care either, about the movies, which are dreadful and based on a dreadful novel.

          1. Speaking of trolls, where’s FoE? While Injun and I managed to get perfect 4:30s in, it just isn’t gratifying when FoE isn’t here.

            1. I was attending a Pirates game, but it’s nice to be thought of.

              1. I thought for sure the Bucs were going to lose after the rain delay. I didnt know you were a yinzer.

          2. A troll? No, Tonio. Not hardly.

            If you don’t care, then stop caring.

            1. Tone, were you formerly known as NLK?

              1. Yes. This name amuses me more.

          3. Isn’t it the former Randian?

    2. And *Kate Upton*, jesse.


      1. Wait, what?

        Anytime someone references Kate Upton I can’t help but think “Boooooobs in Spaaaaaaace

        1. In space, it might as well be Kate Downton.

          [insert Abbey quip of choice]

        2. I need no reference to think about boobs in space.

    3. It must be a gay porn parody version.


    4. Appearing in the movie could be as simple as having their shows on the backgrounds of some shot. Ron could appear in a news feed.

      1. Probably doing a “realistic newscast/tv program” as part of the movie, as we’ve seen a lot of CNN reporters doing in all sorts of films lately. I’m certain they are not acting as characters.

        But what would you see them doing if they really had roles, and by that if they could actually act?

        If Hannity actually had acting talent, perhaps he could pull off being John Galt. Beck could be one of the asshole government types who implements all the “emergency” directives that seem so much like Obama’s “I’ve got a pen” crap.

    5. So are Beck and Hannity playing Rand villains, because they certainly don’t represent anything remotely Objectivist?

  3. Question for you attorneys out there. I am an engineer with 15 years’ experience, mainly in chemical process design, operation, and testing, with a smattering of EE and Mechanical experience. Industries have included water treatment, power generation, and specialty chemicals.

    If I were to pursue a law degree, what areas of law would be most suitable and lucrative and mesh well with my experience? What kind of opportunities are out there? pitfalls? And are we talking low, mid, or high six figures for compensation (not going to make a move for less than about $200k a year)?

    Or am I dreaming?

    1. 3 years of your life down the shitter, for probably nothing. How does that sound?

    2. Patent law.

      1. I was afraid I’d get this answer as many times as it has been suggested. Seems soul crushing.

        1. Fortunately, as part of the process of receiving a law degree, the soul is removed.

    3. IANAL, but I work in a closely-related field. Your most lucrative thing would be the expert witness gig. Basically, you ho yourelf out as someone who is an expert in both engineering and law. Those people rake in huge bucks.

      You’re welcome. Buy me a beer.

      1. To be clear, the best expert witnesses have degrees in law as well as another field. Pick a field of law which dovetails with that, like corporate. General law also works. Avoid family. Criminal is a good fall-back.

        There are agencies (private, like movie stars have agents) who handle the gig-finding.

        Does involve a lot of travel.

      2. I know some folks through Dr. Girlfriend who do the expert witness thing and they do.make serious bank. But it seems like it would be soul crushing.

        1. And dweebish. Don’t forget dweebish.

          Also, in addition to expert witness, there is special master. Basically you sub for the judge during the hyper-technical parts. Judges don’t like using these since that means admitting they are out of their element and lawyers hate that.

          1. I’ve done a bunch of expert witness gigs for med mal cases, and they do pay extremely well. But the last time, a few years ago, plaintiff’s attorney was this unbelievable prick who kept me on the witness stand a full day (and an equal amount before that, in deposition) doing nothing but challenging my education, work history, every scholarly article I’d ever written, etc, etc — all with a sneer and trying to insinuate that I was some no-talent fraud who was lucky to have a job.

            I understand the attorney’s role includes that they have to try to undermine the expert witness’ credibility, but this was just beyond. I’ve turned down every offer since. There is not enough money in the world for me to go through that experience again.

            1. That is an unfortunate feature of the legal system. The optimistic view is that with that level of detail everyone gets something of a fair trial. The pessimistic view is it’s just a racket for slick talkers with good formal logic skills.

          2. Hey, what about forensic investigation?

            1. Put in a call to Exponent, Inc. They’re the top of the food chain.

            2. If you are in the mountain states or CA, Water Rights law is awesome. First, it is big money. But second, it depends on all sorts of absurd old customs, leases, promises and other paper that has been going since the 1600’s

    4. Don’t fucking do it. My wife graduated #1 in her class, and it took her 2 years to break 6 figures. She was one of the lucky ones.

      1. You’re welcome. Buy me a beer, not Tonio.

      2. But was she also degreed in another professional field like medicine or engineering?

        1. Biochemist. She hated it.

          1. Damn, dude. Respect.

          2. Jebus. She keeps you around as some kind of pet, right?

            1. A ridiculously good looking sex pet, yes.

    5. I don’t know. You’re lucky to be at that point career-wise. I have floundered and stumbled in the 5 years since undergrad and that is with an engineering degree. Do you really hate your job? Pittsburgh? Do you think doing an intensely boring thing like patent law for more money would make you happy?

      I just want an income that let’s me live the way I want when I’m not at work. If I had kids it’d be different I guess.

      1. I want the same thing, and generally have been fortunate enough in the compensation arena. But 8-10 hours a day working for someone else doesn’t leave much time for living the way I want to live. Some people say that they live and work their passion, but I am losing my passion for engineering, at least in the public corporate world. Maybe a private company that could make decisions not guided primarily by stock price considerations would be a better fit for me.

        But I almost feel like the guy from the Monty Python sketch who is an accountant, and wants to make a jump to Lion Taming. Of course, he’s only suited for accountancy.

        1. I feel the exact same way about engineering. I knew it before I even graduated. I’m not a natural engineer. I’m talented, but not interested. Law school has been great for me so far.

          Here’s a few things to do:
          -Take the LSAT and see whether you’re close to 180. If you score in the 140s, you have a TON of work to do to get into a school that is worth it.

          -Don’t go unless they pay part or most of your tuition. It’s not worth it if you have to pay sticker.

          -Talk with local lawyers about where your experience would be useful. The short answer is patents, patents, and more patents. If you’re not interested in IP, get ready for a pay cut back to entry-level when you graduate. Law is generally super competitive, and unless you’re in the top of the class, you’re making 45-60k coming out.

          -Get a feel for the work/life balance. It’s generally worse than engineering.

          1. “Take the LSAT”

            Take a practice LSAT.

            1. As someone who has always found standardized tests to be fun and easy this sounds like an excellent rainy day activity.

              1. I found prepping for and taking the LSAT to be fun and easy, and very good for my ego. Law school was generally fun, too, though not always. Practicing law was dreary, dreadful, and filled me with loathing.

                1. Just loathing, or fear and loathing?

              2. Yep, same here. I enjoyed studying for the LSAT. Granted, I didn’t study for 6 months like many people.

          2. Don’t get me wrong, I love engineering. Maybe I.just don’t like the way my current employer does engineering. But I also have a tendency to get bored every 5-6 years and make a move to a new industry. This.time it’s coming on faster. Maybe.I.just need to call.a.headhunter.

            1. The engineering itself is never the issue. You wouldn’t have made it through undergrad if it were. The issue is invariably the fact that there is some set of obstacles keeping you from sitting there and doing the job you were trained for. I’ve never found a project any larger than intern-sized that was running efficiently and without obstacles.

          3. Work life balance is a huge concern for me. I’m not looking to add to time spent at the.office.

            1. Even if you start out at the best firm, you won’t be making more than $160k /yr, and you’ll be working more than 8-10 hours a day.

              I’m in corporate law at a big firm, and basically you are at the beck and call of partners. Maybe there are firms out there that good to work for, but for a work/life balance, big law is not where it’s at (but where the $$ is at).

              But if you can turn your expertise into an expert witness job, maybe going to law school and the working as a litigator for a couple years is the way to go. I have not considered that route so I can’t advise.

            2. Dude, you won’t have any life balance as an attorney.

              Unless you hangout your own shingle or go corporate counsel, you will be a billing machine for the firm. When I was at Hogan & Hartson, lawyers had to bill a minimum of 2000 hours per year.

              One lawyer I knew was going to make partner the next year, where the big money is. He quit to go work as corporate counsel.

              And, it’s crushingly, soul-searingly, dull. Stay in engineering and find a way to make it work for you.

          4. Graduating first in your class and passing the patent bar is not, in my experience, enough qualification to actually do IP.

            Same thing with a girl who had a PhD in…biochem I think? She’s doing corporate stuff mostly, not much IP.

            Law school is where your career hopes go to die.

    6. Don’t.

    7. If that’s what you’re expecting, unless you have a lot of contacts, I wouldn’t go through with it

      There are IP opportunities out there, but getting them is another matter.

    8. Your engineering experience would make patent law the best field. That used to be lucrative but I am not so sure anymore. The question if do you really want to do patent law? I think I would rather be an engineer. But that is just me.

      1. Easy for you to say mister lawyer. As an engineer I suffer from “something else is always better”. But you’re right it can be good to just be an engineer.

      2. Patent law also seems soul crushing. But I’m getting tired of the publicly held corporate world too.

        The.other.major option I.am considering is hanging out a consulting shingle, but I’m not sure about.my contacts list. I’m at a point where I want to do something different, but am a bit too timid.

        1. I am about to do something radically different. You only live once, man.

          1. A new haircut? Don’t leave us hanging!

            1. line of work…going to do something for myself. We’ll see how it works out but I’m enthused about it.

              1. I did that once. Worked out really well. I’m never doing it again in CA, though. It’s just not worth it anymore.

          2. I took my law degree and became a farmer. I didn’t have your engineering background, though, so YMMV.

            1. I have actually thought about that. I’d love to pick your brain sometime.

        2. Patents are evil. Don’t be evil.

          1. Be google? But google has patents. So google is evil. But google says don’t be evil!?

        3. Honestly, patent law is boring for a lot of people but it seems less soul crushing than just about any other area of law.

          My advice is to look into working for the patent office as an examiner. The pay isn’t *amazing*, but you should get in at a decent level and after a few years you can get up to 120-130k as a GS-14. Great hours/flex time, you’re in charge of your own docket, if you want you can go to law school in the evening and either go to a patent law firm later or stay at the PTO.

      3. “That used to be lucrative but I am not so sure anymore.”

        It still is. I have 3 years software engineering experience, and one year of evening law school experience (not even through all my 1L classes). I’m quitting my engineering job partly because a law firm offered me nearly double what I make now in order to be an “advisor” for the next 3 years until I graduate.

    9. Patent or porn law. My recommendation is to not go to law school, though, as the opportunities aren’t what they once were. Unless you just crave the career or something. Also, STATE SCHOOL. Do not blow your money on a private school.

      1. My hand was shaking as I wrote the checks.

      2. BTW, Cholula released a new flavor. Not sure how I feel about it yet. Why mess with perfection?

        1. That’s fine so long as they don’t touch the original. There’s been a chipotle and garlic variety for a while. Not as good, so I don’t get those.


          1. I have one in my cupboard. I got the package deal from amazon that comes with the funnel.

            The new one is green pepper, including poblano. I love poblano, so it could be good.

            1. I like trying new hot sauces, so I’ll probably pick some up at some point.

        2. I tried the chili lime version. Meh. I’ll still with original.

          … Hobbit

          1. Ditto. I use the garlic only occasionally.

      3. There was an article in the Pittsburgh Business Times about Pitt and Duquesne winning awards for “best value” in law schools. Thoughts?

        1. Are you married to this area? Because I’m still trying to pass the Pittsburgh intelligence test.

          1. you run up the middle on 2nd and 3rd and short. then punt.

            1. Well there’s that but it mostly goes like “if you still live here, you failed”.

          2. I’m not opposed to moving, but we just bought a nice new house and Dr. Girlfriend’s work is here, and she makes more than I do.

        2. How did they determine “value”?

          Always keep in mind: Every law school lies about their graduates’ starting salaries. They lie through their teeth.

          1. Good question.

        3. “best value” for law school is like saying “best defender of liberty” at a Congressional Progressive Caucus meeting. It don’t mean much.


    11. I can’t speak to how lucrative it is but here’s some more positive advice than that above. Several of my wife’s coworkers (all mechanical engineers) have left to work in patent law firms as engineers. If they stay a couple years and like it the law firm will pay for them to attend weekend/night lawschool. Seems like a good way to see if you like it first and then stay out of debt.

      I also have a friend who was an EE undergrad and is now a patent lawyer and he seems fine. From when I last spoke with him part of his compensation was on commission which is a little weird for a lawyer. I think it’s the same for the engineers mentioned above who aren’t lawyers yet. As far as pay I think it was a lateral move for them coming from the O&G industry.

    12. Two guys I know who faced the same problem.

      #1 quit engineering and became a gunsmith. Not much money but he did what he loved for 40 years. Now he has retired from that and owns a restaurant.

      #2 quit engineering and became a fiddle/mandolin/guitar maker.
      No shit.
      No stress, no money, but does what he loves and is drowning in female attention. Apparently John Cougar was correct.

      Most I know who went to law school say that if they had to do it over they would not.

  4. “Let me be clear. Those, uh, combat troops will, uh, not face combat.”

  5. Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.)


    1. Cronifornication?

    2. R in CA is D anywhere else.

      1. reverse in Tx. Most of our dems sound a lot like Chris Christie et al

        1. I’m not sure which is worse.

    3. It must be a pod-person.

    4. Well, he’s from Bakersfield, which is basically Tulsa with better Basque food.

  6. A march for “traditional marriage” (as in, no gays) drew the likes of former Sen. Rick Santorum and former Gov. Mike Huckabee to Washington, D.C., but not, apparently, large crowds.

    Who’s with me??? Follow me!!! Yeah!!!

    1. Obligatory: “Santorum!” [snickers]

      1. What’s funny is that I’d snicker even without the secondary meaning. Or primary meaning, depending on your viewpoint, I guess.

    2. Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

  7. As many as 75 scientists working in government laboratories may have been exposed to live anthrax bacteria, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said on Thursday. The scientists are being offered treatment to prevent infection.

    “Out of an abundance of caution, CDC is taking aggressive steps to protect the health of all involved, including protective courses of antibiotics for potentially exposed staff,” spokesman Tom Skinner said in a statement. “Based on most of the potential exposure scenarios, the risk of infection is very low.”


    1. I’d estimate their chance of survival at about 8%.

      1. I am waiting for the official denial that zombies have been seen at CDC buildings

    2. They then transferred the samples to lower-security CDC labs not equipped to handle live anthrax.

      Was the transfer by any chance via first-class mail?

    3. They’re going to be sitting in quarantine for a while…

      1. If it’s skin anthrax, it’s not that big a deal. They’ll all live.

  8. Ron Paul will be appearing in the third chapter of the film adaptation of Atlas Shrugged, as will Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity.

    That’s kinda fucked up.

    1. If it brings more people to the work who cares.

      1. Perhaps, some may get de-Hanitized.

      2. “Barack Obama will be appearing in the third chapter of the film adaptation of Atlas Shrugged, as will Ron Paul, Glenn Beck, and Sean Hannity.”

  9. “President Barack Obama announced that he was dispatching 300 military “advisers” to Iraq”

    Can’t they give advice over the phone?

    1. (LCpl Bob) *in bad Arabic* Hello, thank you for calling the US military help line. My name is Ahmed, how may I help you sir, or maam?

      1. “You say you installed democratic institutions without first installing a proper civil society infrastructure? I feel for you, sir, we tried that ourselves, but it does not work.

        “Have you tried pressing the ‘drone bombing’ button? Keep pressing it until it produces results, have a nice day, sir.” [click]

  10. Do you really need 300 people to give the advice ‘stop throwing down your weapons and running?’

    1. Well, to be frank, there really aren’t that many people in the world who.can offer good advice on how to.comport yourself while having your head sawn off by barbaric religious fanatics.

    2. Good question. Unless they are there to guide in JDAMS, I don’t see what they are going to accomplish being get themselves killed or taken hostage.

      1. Are they going to hold the Iraqi soldier’s hand as fires his gun, pisses himself, and runs away?

        1. Maybe they might hold another part of the Iraqi soldier’s anatomy.

    3. Well, that’s what we did in Vietnam. Sent a few hundred advisers.

      1. We do seem to be going backwards, don’t we? Carter-era stagflation, Kennedy-era military advisors, Boss Tweed-era corruption….

        1. My chronometer is running. . .backwards, sir.

          1. And my corn is less popped than ever…

  11. Iran has sentenced a professor to 18 months in prison for the crime of questioning the wisdom of the country’s nuclear program.

    Here they’d just slap the guy with an espionage charge.

  12. Thong too much for you? Meet the C-string.

    1. I dare *anyone* to wear “the guy version”.

    2. Why not just go nude?

      1. I’ve been wondering that all afternoon.

        1. It’s for those times when you want to look sexy despite the herpes breakout.

          1. Nailed it Correct.

    3. That just looks creepy.

    4. So it’s a merkin with an uncomfortable anus attachment.

      1. Didn’t you RTFA, Warty? It’s “like a magical Maxi Pad”.

        1. Right, like I said.

          1. *** slinks away, abashed by Warty’s depth of experience ***

      2. Versus the “comfortable anus attachment”?

    5. They already use something like that on movie sets.

      Regardless, it’s very unattractive.

    6. Why not just wear a butt plug attached to a codpiece?

      1. Don’t give Shrike any more ideas.

    7. Why is it called a “C-string”?

      1. Don’t you dare summon Ken Schulz by saying the C-word.

      2. If you put her on her side it makes a letter c.

      3. Because Ass-Clasp was already trademarked. As was Snatch-Patch.

  13. The Swiss Cheese Pervert pleads guilty.

    In the incidents, all but one occurring on Frankford Avenue in Mayfair, Pagano pulled alongside women while driving. He exposed himself and asked them to take part in a sex act involving a slice of Swiss cheese.

    When women rejected his overture, said Cho, Pagano sometimes shadowed them for blocks.

    1. When women rejected his overture, said Cho, Pagano sometimes shadowed them for blocks.

      …while jerking off into Swiss Cheese.

    2. A slice? Why not a whole wheel of cheese?

      1. I don’t think he could afford a wheel.

    3. I cheddar to think about this guy being on the loose.

      1. I wish I had rotten vegetables and a teleporter right now.

      2. I thought his story was full of holes.

    4. “take part in a sex act involving a slice of Swiss cheese.”


      Inquiring minds want to know.

      1. More info

        We’ve been hearing reports that the Swiss Cheese Pervert has been around for some time on dating sites like OkCupid. The Daily News spoke with a Bridesburg resident and OkCupid user named, um, Gabby Chest, who told the paper that the Swiss Cheese Pervert said he was “looking for someone to perform masturbation on him with cheese…”

        The Daily News also published the following excerpt from a message allegedly sent by the Swiss Cheese Pervert to Chest:

        I started to compare girls to cheese due to their milky complections [sic], girls are soft, smooth feeling and tend to like dairy products more. That and typical advertising, always using a girl to advertise dairy products. So cheese is what I started to use as a replacement for having sex with girls.

        Police continue to investigate, and a Special Victims Unit source told the paper that the man in question appeared to have a “major sexual cheese fetish.”

        1. He just needed a queso cutie!

          1. Come to Butthead, my little quesadilla.

        2. “major sexual cheese fetish”

          As opposed to a “minor sexual cheese fetish” like using Cheez Whiz.

      2. Hsst. Ask *Warty*.

      3. You idiots! It’s Swiss cheese! You’d use a different kind of cheese? That’s just crazy!

  14. Iran has sentenced a professor to 18 months in prison for the crime of questioning the wisdom of the country’s nuclear program.

    Iran to Professor: Now if you were a Professor of Constitutional Law, we would have elected you our President!

  15. Burmese Rohingyan Muslims face repression at the hands of Rakhine Buddhists.


    Read on and the Rakhine chauvinists sound like a parody of the borderites in America.

    1. As usual, the journalist chose to begin the story in media res, neglecting to report that Burmese sentiment toward the Rohingya only started to turn sour after certain Rohingya groups, egged on by radical elements in Bangladesh, began their irridentist campaign with a orgy of targeted rape of Buddhist women, maiming and looting and destruction of Buddhist temples.

      1. An ‘orgy’ of rape and destruction? I’ve heard of reports of mutual violence but most of it seems to come from the Rakhines.

        Radical elements in Bangladesh? Maybe, but that country’s more socialist than anything and its Islamofascists of the ’70s were recently sentenced to death.

    1. I loved Penn Radio. Why did he quit?

      1. I forget exactly, but didn’t he say it took too much of his time? Penn’s Sunday School is almost as much fun, though.

  16. I saw my mate the other day
    He said he saw the white Pele
    I asked my mate who is he
    He goes by the name Wayne Rooney

    1. If only the defense could keep up.

  17. OK, I gotta ask–How, with Reasonable, do you add a custom avatar?

    Warty’s Hypno-toad is beckoning.

    1. You need to put an email address in your name link and create a Gravatar account that uses that address. I wish it didn’t require an email address, because I miss linking to my poem.

    2. Log in to Gravatar.com with the email address you use on here. Set picture.

      1. Except Gravatar doesn’t work with handles as short as two characters regardless of the.email address. Boo.

    3. Use gravatar

    4. Email, huh? Weeeellll….shit.

      Still, thanks for the info, all of you.

      1. I think if you have an email and a website linked the website wins out, but you still get Gravitar-ey goodness.

        Give me a second and I’ll experiment.

        1. I think I experimented with that before and it doesn’t. Of course, I could be wrong, like always.

          1. As someone who is frequently wrong myself, I feel your pain.

            Is there a picture of me looking like a beardy thug while holding a crepe and does my name link to a picture of Kate Upton in zero-g?

            Then we have success. If not, fail.


              1. Too bad I can’t hear the synth-drone to go with your avatar as I read that.

            2. That used to work, because it’s what I used to do. It stopped at some point. That’s why I don’t link my blog anymore.

              I want to say it changed with registration.

        2. Either way, thanks for the enlightenment. I’ll just stay lo-tech, I think.

    5. Speaking of Reasonable, I’ve been fooling around today with a Greasemonkey script to clean up Reason. I’m just trying to get a little JS experience, because I’ve maybe devoted 20 hours over my entire life to picking up web development, and I want to start accruing those skills.

      Any recommendations for good features to code into the commenting system (besides edit button, which I doubt I could do client side)?

      1. Electric shocks for placing more than 5 Os next to each other increasing in voltage for each additional O.

          1. Boooooooooooooooosh!

      2. I just wish they would implement more of a forum than article comments. If there were a forum with a new thread created for each article, then some of the good conversations would go on much longer.

  18. Anybody know of a good alternative rock station that streams over the interwebs? My 2 local stations just play hipster shit like Bastille and Imagine Dragons.

    1. Check out internet-radio.com, iheart.com, jango.com, aolradio.slacker.com, songza.com (playlists, so not exactly radio), and many more.

    2. Shell out for Google Play Music unlimited, you cheap bastard. They create their radio stations based on people’s Youtube music habits and the results are spectacular.

  19. “A march for “traditional marriage” (as in, no gays)”

    What do we want?
    Why do we want them?

    Ok, Let’s try that again!

  20. Atlas Shrugged is too didactic to be made into a movie. It’s like adapting a biochemistry textbook into a movie. It’s never going to work unless you cut it down to basic plot elements.

    1. I’ve suggested this before: Take the plot and characters and reboot them ? la The Stars My Destination and The Count of Monte Cristo. In other words, tell a similar story, but in a wholly different setting and with different names, scenes, etc.

      Personally, I think it would work best in a science fiction setting. I mean more science fictiony that the original.

      1. John Galt designs new starship engines?

      2. They did that already. It was called Iron Man 2.

        1. Not really. I’m thinking something a little closer to the source material, though not too close and much shorter.

    2. “It’s like adapting a biochemistry textbook into a movie.”

      Is that the one with Gwyneth Paltrow?

      1. Hmmmm…..my bio sure has good chemistry with Gwyneth.

    3. Only one director can make AS work – Paul Thomas Anderson.

      1. the porn director?

    4. There are a lot of great books that just should not be made into movies, and then people try anyway and only succeed in proving the point. Hitchhiker’s Guide and Cloud Atlas come to mind.

      1. Cloud Atlas was an awesome movie.

        1. You really think so? I’m glad then. I wondered if maybe I loved the book too much for any movie version to succeed for me.

          1. I was seriously pissed it did not get a best picture nomination because it was by far the best movie of 2012.

      2. I dont disagree with you about the failure of the movie, but it is interesting that Hitchhikers’ Guide was originally a radio play — so it shouldn’t really have created the same problem as excessively wordy texts.

        1. Yep, and the BBC series was excellent. If HBO wanted to make all 5 books of the increasingly inaccurately named trilogy into a series, I’d watch. But cutting any of it into a 2-hour movie made it plot-heavy which is sort of beside the point.

  21. Wait…I just realized…Obama’s 300 ‘military advisors’…he’s setting up the modern re-telling of300! Except 300 was awesome but this is awful.*

    *The sequel is really good and much better than the first, believe it or not.

    1. *The sequel is really good and much better than the first, believe it or not.

      You lie.

      1. No I’m serious. Artemesis was one the best female antagonists I’ve seen.

        1. Still not as good as the first.

          1. Actually much better. Better antagonist and character development in general. Less slow-mo and other Zack Snyder silliness.

  22. Steven Gerrard to be made honorary citizen of Uruguay.

    1. Well, it was a great header to his teammate…

      (yeah, that was bad, Still love the man as much as it’s possible to love a sports figure.)

  23. Here’s how you make

    1. Oops, it cut off my response.

      Basically, here’s how you make Atlas Shrugged

      Director: JJ Abrams
      Screenwriter: Michael Arndt
      Dagny Taggar: Scarlet Johansson
      Francisco d’Anconia: Chris Hemsworth
      John Galt: Robert Downey, Jr.

      1. No, no no, stupid.

        Director: Michael Bay
        Screenwriter: John Milius
        Dagny Taggart: Alison Brie
        Francisco d’Anconia: The Rock
        John Galt: Arnold Schwarzenegger
        Henry Rearden: Sylvester Stallone

        1. Director: Uwe Boll
          Screenwriter: George Lucas
          Dagny Taggart: Jennifer Lawrence
          F. d’Anconia: Jonah Hill
          John Galt: Harrison Ford
          Henry Rearden: Samuel L. Jackson

          1. You guys are all stupid. Make it Jean Galt, and play up the sex appeal x2. (sorry jesse, the money’s in boobs)

            1. I clearly don’t have a problem with that.

              Actually they should make sure that Dagny stays a lady and that they pass the shit out of the Bechdel test just to make proggies uncomfortable.

              1. Just to be clear, even the gayest monster in Gaytown wants to motorboat Kate Upton, right?

                1. Epi isn’t here to answer that, is he?

                  I wouldn’t go out of my way to do it, but I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity if it were there. I feel like “Fuck off, I motorboated Kate Upton” is an instant argument winner in most circles.

                  1. I don’t think she’s nearly hot enough for all the attention she gets, but, still, TITS. Everyone loves tits.

                    1. Legs, Legs, Legs.

                      Some ripped up abs don’t hurt.

        2. Director: Michael Bay

          Epi bait?

        3. The Expendables Shrugged

          Fuck. Yes.

          1. I also like the idea of Magic Mike Shrugged.

        4. Make it a Firefly movie.

          1. My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.

            1. You’re right. Let’s politically cleanse the Star Trek franchise and set it there.

            2. Or, kind of along the lines you set out above, set it in a nation near Cimmeria. Galt the Cimmerian!

              1. Starship Troopers Shrugged

                1. Wait, what am I thinking? Dr. Zaius Shrugged.

                  1. Can I play the piano anymore?

                    1. Not on your life, my Hindu friend!

                    2. Ah, ha! Atlas Shrugged: The Musical!

                    3. Make it a rock opera: The Who’s John Galt

                  2. That was the equation! (seizes Warty) Existence! Survival must cancel out programming.

                    Excellent. A planet where apes evolved from looters.

                  3. Zardoz Shrugged.

                    1. Why not Zardoz on the Planet of the Apes, um, shrugging? In musical form.

        5. Director: Luc Besson
          Screenwriter: Harold Ramis
          Danny Taggart: Milla Jovovic
          Henry Rearden: Russel Crowe
          Francisco D’Anconia: Johnny Depp
          John Galt: Neil Patrick Harris
          Ragnar Danneskjold: Bruce Willis
          James Taggart: Ron Jeremy
          Wesley Mouch: William Atherton
          Lillian Rearden: Jenny McCarthy

          1. The 5th Atlas?

            1. An Austin Powers sequel? Atlas Shagged? Really, why not a comedy? Rand was too Russian in that regard–not funny.

              1. Come to think of it, Idiocracy plays nicely as Objectivist allegory, doesn’t it?

      2. Director: Jason Priestley
        Screenwriter: Jason Priestley
        Dagny Taggart: Tiffani-Amber Thiessen
        Francisco d’Anconia: Ian Ziering
        John Galt: Luke Perry
        Henry Rearden: Joe E. Tata

      3. Trey Parker and Matt Stone, and they do it entirely with marionettes ala Team America.

        1. I’d watch this.

        2. Marionettes and several musical numbers.

      4. Dagny Taggar…

        I just realized this is where Martin got the name for Dany Targaryen.

        1. Doubtful. He’s a progressive.

          Unless that’s foreshadowing as to what he has in mind for the Mother of Dragons.

          1. And yet Dany had a shitty older brother who destroyed himself out of jealousy and inflated self worth just like Dagny did.

            He may be a progressive (even if true i doubt it goes very deep) but he is also a huge consumer and fan of Science Fiction.

            Also he is well known for putting historical and literary references in his work.

            1. Good point, hadn’t thought about that.

              I used to read his personal blog, and he’d regularly whine about progressive stuff. Republicans evil, etc. etc.

              John Galt = Jon Snow??!?!?

              1. John Galt = Jon Snow??!?!?


                I think he took the name and the tragic relationship between Dany and her brother from Atlas Shrugged…

                I don’t think the whole GoT series is a rewriting of Atlas Shrugged.

                I also think Dany’s naturalist “noble savage” aversion to slavery is taken from Huck Finn and her 10,000 unsullied was taken from Xenophon’s 10,000.

                1. Mostly kidding, as evidenced by the multiple ?s and !s.

                  Black Supper/Red Wedding, obviously.

  24. A march for “traditional marriage” (as in, no gays) drew the likes of former Sen. Rick Santorum and former Gov. Mike Huckabee to Washington, D.C., but not, apparently, large crowds.


    1. In Hollywood, they call that “bombing at the box office”. I wonder, do they read anything in that at all?

      There are plenty of traditionally conservative ideas they could be spending all that energy on, too–that really might sell.

      Gun rights, fiscal conservatism, lower taxation, anti-Obamacare–they could pick any other issue and not look nearly so fuckwit to the average swing voter.

  25. “President Barack Obama announced that he was dispatching 300 military “advisers” to Iraq to try to help fight the insurgency there, but would not be sending troops to the country.”

    Plus John Kerry! THREE-HUNDRED-AND-ONE!! (I’m reminded of the punchline to an old joke)

  26. Why marijuana should be illegal – searching for it helps us catch terrorists:


  27. Ron Paul will be appearing in the third chapter of the film adaptation of Atlas Shrugged, as will Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity.

    One libertarian and two statists. What a combination.

    1. This is very unfair to Beck.

  28. “President Barack Obama announced that he was dispatching 300 military “advisers” to Iraq to try to help fight the insurgency there, but would not be sending troops to the country. He said he’d consider more “targeted” action in the country, so watch the skies for drones in Iraq and avoid weddings and funerals.”

    Yeah, there are midterms coming up, and everything, and the president can’t let people say he isn’t doing anything in Iraq (and then watch Iran do all the heavy lifting) –so obviously someone has to die.

    Obama’s behavior is more disgraceful than Clinton executing a retard just to show that he was tough on crime. Avoid weddings and funerals, indeed. Barack Obama has killed more children than Adam Lanza, and that number’s about to go up.

  29. President Barack Obama announced that he was dispatching 300 military “advisers” to Iraq

    Here they are.

      1. Due to budget cuts, they cannot afford uniforms, or clothes of any kind.

  30. We typically post nut punches involving cops beating someone, murdering people and pets… but sometimes a cop does the unexpected. Just hope he does not get corrupted by his “brothers in blue” or by the authoritay given by the state.

    1. “Cop reverse-confiscates cash from citizen”

  31. Well, I mentioned in the previous post about a seemingly “good cop” being corrupted…
    Cop who shot handcuffed man in jail is the same cop who gave a homeless man boots.
    Keep your immortal soul safe. Do not become a cop!

    1. My soul is incorruptible, but I have no interest in being a cop.

  32. OK wow there is a dude that knows what time it is.


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