A.M. Links: Hagel Admits Mistakes Were Made on Berghdahl, Rand Paul Pushing Immigration Reform, N.J. Shelling Out For Sixers

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  • talking about practice
    YouTube

    Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel says mistakes were made in the deal to swap Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl for five Guantanamo detainees.

  • Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) is joining the push for conservatives to participate in immigration reform.
  • The gunman who killed two police officers and another person in Las Vegas last night was shot and killed by police, not his partner.
  • New Jersey is offering $82 million in tax credits to get the Philadelphia 76ers to practice in Camden.
  • Iraq's prime minister, Nouri al-Maliki, would like the U.S. to conduct airstrikes against insurgents in the country.
  • Ukraine's new president says he's ready to talk to opponents in eastern Ukraine, is pro-Russian separatists lay down their arms.

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    1. And like so many sequels, it kinda sucks

      1. It’s what you put into it.

      2. Yo, IFH, I was reading my Hey… newsletter and they linked to an article about stupid classes you can take in college. There were myriad terms that made no sense to me. Could you translate the Aussie stuff please?
        1. Is college actually paid for by the government?
        2. What is an Intensive course?
        3. What the fuck are H1s and H2s and their difference?
        4. What the fuck does breadth mean?

        Any guidance to your foreign tongue would be appreciated.

        1. Hey CB, happy to help:

          1. There are a couple of private universities (not highly rated), but the vast majority are public. The Federal Government does fund them, but not enough to pay for everything. Universities can charge fees for undergraduate courses (currently capped, and not the true cost). Australian students pay for this by borrowing the money from the Federal Government, and repaying once their income hits a certain level. Overseas students pay upfront.

          Fees for post-grad courses are not capped. Universities have responded by turning traditionally undergrad degrees such as law and medicine into post-grad courses and charging what the market will bear.

          The Federal Government is trying to make students pay more of the true cost of their degree, and further deregulate fees.

          2, A semester’s worth of work crammed into six weeks over summer, designed for the impatient

          3. Sounds like First Class Honours and Second Class Honours. Undergrad degrees are usually 3 years – do an extra year writing a thesis and hey presto you’ve got an Honours degree.

          4. Broadness.

          1. thanks!
            1. wow! Us is similar.
            2. impatient or broke? I wonder if it is cheaper?
            3. ok, strange but ok. My school required a capstone but that was it.
            4. I know the word but in this context is it equivalent to Elective, a course outside your major but gives you credit anyways?

            1. 2. Don’t think it’s cheaper in terms of fees, but if you’re doing a coursework Masters (which usually means you’re working full-time and studying part-time) it can save you time otherwise sacrificed from your job and therefore money

              3. It comes from the English system. Evelyn Waugh said you should try to get either a First (which means you’re brilliant) or a Fourth (you were too cool to try), because Second and Third Class Honours are the stamp of mediocrity

              4. Never heard it used in this context. We call them Electives too. Maybe it’s a brand-new term. Give me a link so I can see it in context and work out WTF it means

  1. Iraq’s prime minister, Nouri al-Maliki, would like the U.S. to conduct airstrikes against insurgents in the country.

    Sounds like they should have let the CIA intall a tyrant like it wanted.

    1. Saddam would have done this himself. Hardly championing the guy but seems that, as usual, we traded one bad guy for another.

    2. Iraq had a perfectly good tyrant back in 2002.

    3. Who is going to call in the targets for these airstrikes? Iraqi armed forces personnel?

      Boy, I sure don’t see the potential for disaster, there. “Abdul, that blob of camel spit, still owes me 10 shekels. Maybe an American 500 lb bomb would encourage him…”

      In all seriousness, this trend was easy to call even before Bush left office. Insurgency was bound to gain strength when most US forces left, and the only question is how many cavalry will be sent in to protect our protege “democracy”.

  2. Man driving motorised beer cooler is arrested for drink-driving

    http://www.perthnow.com.au/new…..6948320437

    1. “Drink-driving”, eh?

      What do you call DUI marijuana over there?

      1. “A rarity”

    2. Yeah, in my state operation of any mode of transportation qualifies. It remains a case-by-case basis whether a drinker can be said to be operating a horse.

  3. Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel says mistakes were made in the deal to swap Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl for five Guantanamo detainees.

    “Every administration gets one mistake, and this is Obama’s.”

    1. So what were all the others, fake scansals?

      1. STOP POLITICIZING EVERY LITTLE THING.

    2. NONSCANDALZ!!!1!1!

    3. Mistakes were made, but I’m sure procedures were followed, and that everyone involved will be receiving more training shortly.

      1. Medals for everyone!

      2. And let’s not forget – everyone made it home safely.

      3. mistakes were made

        By whom…Name names…

        1. Nope. Names destroy the comfort of the passive voice.

        2. By whom…Name names..

          The American electorate.

          1. +100 extra votes in an election of your choice

    4. The worst part about that whole affair is the White House said it was Hegal who made the final call. WTF? Is Hegal President now? Was the light worker out of cell coverage at the golf course when the decision needed to be made?

  4. The gunman who killed two police officers and another person in Las Vegas last night was shot and killed by police, not his partner.

    Yeah, except for this video that shows otherwise. But who are you going to believe, the cops or your lying eyes?

    The last seconds of the Nazi cop killers: Shocking surveillance video shows couple’s last stand inside a Walmart after slaughtering two police officers and a civilian
    WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT
    Video shows Jerad and Amanda Miller pointing handguns at each other as they hide for cover in a Walmart after killing three people
    Amanda appears to shoot her husband before turning the gun on herself
    Authorities say Jerad died from a .223 rifle round fired by a Las Vegas officer as police closed in
    Officers had contact with the Millers three times in the last five months – including just days before the rampage

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..alive.html

    1. Some excellent Facebook derp I saw related to this:

      So those cowards in Nevada had an anti government bent.

      I wonder which political party helped fuel their rhetoric?

      1. I wonder which political party helped fuel their rhetoric?

        Probably the one that keeps expanding government…

      2. “I wonder which political party helped fuel their rhetoric?”

        Perhaps, they couldn’t distinguish between them anymore…

  5. $82 million to practice? Are they going to recoup that in 5000 years of the players paying for parking?

    1. “We’re talking about practice. I mean listen, we’re sitting here talking about practice, not a game, not a game, not a game, but we’re talking about practice. Not the game that I go out there and die for and play every game like it’s my last but we’re talking about practice man.”

      1. +1 old whatshisname

          1. That’s it! Alan Iverson. Good times – good times…

            1. Not as good as the Pistons trading for him after he said it…

            2. And Ed switched the pic from the idiot SecDef to AI and the photo credit still reads “Department of Defense” heh.

              1. He was good on D, to be fair.

    2. To be fair, they are going to Camden. They may have to spend $82 million in security per season.

    3. What else would they spend it on? Schools? Police?

  6. Transgender woman handed receipt with ‘Gay b*****s’ printed on it accuses bar of discrimination and claims she was left humiliated by the way staff treated her

    Amira Gray has started legal action against Bistro 18 over slur
    Bar staff accused of treating Gray and her friends differently

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..d-her.html
    Boo fucking hoo.

    1. She should be more pissed at the “automatic gratuity”.

      1. Or paying 11 bucks for a shot of Jameo.

        1. SAY WHA!!?

    2. I just assumed it was a hoax.

      1. All of these are obvious bullshit.

        1. It’s almost like the more they are publicized, the more of them show up.

        2. Oh Warty, you gay bitch!

          1. *contacts the Daily Mail*

    3. ‘As a transgender woman I was extremely hurt, embarrassed, and upset,

      I hate the “as a insert special snowflake statues bullshit.

      1. Every additional adjective someone uses in a self-identifier makes me like them less.

    4. I wouldn’t start a lawsuit over it; of course, I’d have left without paying when it became obvious the waitstaff was refusing to serve my table.

    5. Let me see if I got this right…

      They go about as far as they can legally go to identify themselves as “different”… …and then get upset when somebody treats them differently???…

  7. The art of deceptive advertising: From brown shoe polish on burgers to hairspray for brighter ingredients, how commercials trick us into buying their products

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem…..ducts.html
    Teh core-pour-ray-shuns are ripping us off! Government save us from teh core-pour-ray-shuns!

    1. A fool and his money ought to be parted.

      1. So you’ve seen me play poker then, have you?

      2. They were lucky to get together in the first place.

    2. The article says nothing about the government stepping in. Sheese, now people can’t even criticize saintly businessmen?

  8. Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel says mistakes were made in the deal to swap Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl for five Guantanamo detainees.

    I suppose the SecDef “takes full responsibility”?

    1. And in the grand tradition of the Lightworker’s Administration, this “acceptance of responsibility” will not involve firing, resignation, censure, reprimand, loss of pay, suspension of benefits, or anything at all.

      1. or anything at all.

        This. We won’t even get anyone to say who made the mistakes for which responsibility is being accepted.

      2. To be fair to the current administration, it’s been a long time since a Government worker “taking responsibility” has actually resulted in consequences.

        It’s long been a public relations catch phrase like “leaving to spend more time with my family”, or “I’m sorry, and entering treatment”.

  9. Man driving motorised beer cooler is arrested for drink-driving

    1. Again? or a different guy?

    2. Two of them in one day? Why, it’s an epidemic!

      1. You know it’s the goddamn squirrelz, smartarses

        1. The squirrelz is drink-webbing?

    3. “Woman frequenting American blog is arrested for drink-posting”

  10. The woman who wants to look just like Jessica Rabbit: Two rounds of surgery has boosted her breasts to an O cup and she squeezes into a TINY corset 23 hours a day
    Penny has been obsessed by Jessica Rabbit since childhood
    Began transforming her body to emulate cartoon by wearing a corset
    Kept constricting corset on all the time for first four months
    Continues to wear it for 23 hours every day, though it is so tight she can barely sit down or eat
    Says she is unconcerned that practice has been shown to rearrange organs
    Has had two breast enhancements in two years taking her from an H to an O cup
    Despite her bust now being 2 times size of her waist says she won’t stop

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem…..s-day.html
    John says “Sha-wing!”

    1. Why?

      1. cuz she is an unhappy fat girl looking for attention

        1. Looks happy to me

    2. she gonna have to lose weight if she wants to meet her goal LOL

    3. If she wanted more of an hourglass figure it’d probably have been cheaper, easier, and healthier to diet instead.

    4. I am disappoint. I’ve seen cos-play bitches who do much, much better.

      I will NOT be in my bunk!

    5. She’s not bad.She’s just surgically enhanced that way.

    6. Are thigh-corsets a thing?

    7. More like Jessica Whale.

  11. Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) is joining the push for conservatives to participate in immigration reform.

    Otherwise you’re going to get an immigration mandate that the IRS will oversee.

    1. Here is Rand’s golden opportunity to be primaried by an anti-immigration candidate.

      1. He’s got a couple years before he’s up.

    2. stop Rand. This is way down the list of national priorities. And if you don’t address the welfare state, the immigration debate is pointless.

      1. That and he’s just wasting his time. Nothing is going to happen before the election.

        1. I want an ammendment where any acts passed after the election but before the seating of the new legislature must be ratified by 2/3rds of the new legislature before they can come into effect. Just so lame ducks don’t throw one last ‘screw you’ after being kicked out.

  12. ‘This is the second worst day of my life’: Cop who caught his wife and father having sex before pistol whipping his dad is suspended for four years for violent reaction
    Former sheriff’s deputy Timothy John ‘TJ’ Brewer pleaded guilty to two counts of assault after allegedly finding his wife and father having sex
    Received two-year suspended sentence and 24 months probation
    Beat his fire chief father Wesley ‘Corky’ Brewer after allegedly finding him in bed with his wife Logan in their son’s bed
    Wesley Brewer stabbed himself twice after the confrontation

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..nsion.html
    When his wife didn’t come back from putting the kids to bed, he goes upstairs and finds her riding his dad on his son’s bed. That’s fucked up.

    1. I am with the cop for once on that one. But I am not sure I would have reacted violently. That is just so fucked up and weird, I would probably have been in too much shock to do much of anything.

      1. Sarc’s synopsis makes it sound like she wasn’t even concerned about hiding it.

        1. Yeah. It makes me wonder if there isn’t more to the story. I wonder if maybe him and his wife had planned on her doing it as some kind of freaky fantasy and then when it really happened he couldn’t handle it and freaked out. You are right, unless she thought he was going to be into it, why would she have been so brazen?

          1. unless she they thought he was going to be into it, why would she they have been so brazen?

            FIFY.

            1. Fair enough. He thought he was going to be into it until he saw it. What a bunch of freaks.

              1. Well, considering the father tried to kill himself afterwards, I’m not so convinced this is fantasy gone wrong.

                Rather than they’re all freaks, it’s more likely both the wife and father get off on doing something so risky, mixed in perhaps with a slug of pure contempt for the husband.

                1. IFH,

                  That could be as well. Man, that is some serious contempt for the husband. Banging his dad? In the house while his kids are in bed asleep? Wow.

                  1. “In the house while his kids are in bed asleep?”

                    While whose kids were asleep?

            2. Beat his fire chief father

              cops vs. firefighters!…interservice rivalry is thicker than blood!

              1. I wonder how many of the four kids are actually second cousins…

                1. That’s child’s play. This family is more of a challenge

                  1. I thought that kind of thing only happened in Tasmania. 🙂

                  2. In an earlier life I used to do paternity tests. We had one court ordered test come through where the suspected fathers were her four brothers and her father. Apparently this had been going on for generations. It turned out they were all so interrelated that we couldn’t tell which one was the father, after testing blood type, HLA type and protein analysis. We even did some cutting edge (at the time in the 80’s) DNA polymorphism analysis. No luck. They were essentially as inbred as lab rats.

    2. Geez, what was his worst day?

      1. Seeing his wife and father doing it was the worst day; getting punished for what he did to them was the second worst day.

  13. Emmy Rossum’s golden moment: Actress stuns in a metallic gown as she attends an exclusive party in New York City

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..-City.html
    Damn I lust her, and I have no idea why.

    1. I agree with you on that one. She is hot. I think she looks like a less angular and prettier Ann Hathaway. Her face is a little funky but she is still pretty and has a fabulous body and smile.

      1. That hair style and eye make-up don’t do her justice. She’s beautiful. These are her bad pics.

  14. Excellent pictures of drunk Japanese salarymen

  15. EXCLUSIVE PICTURES – From brunette high school angel to saucy wannabe model: Pamela Anderson before she turned plastic peroxide princess
    Former boyfriend reveals never-before-seen treasure trove of pictures
    Includes first picture of Pamela at 14 – age she was allegedly gang-raped
    Startling array of risque modelling shots she sent to her boyfriend at the time while he was working away

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..ncess.html
    If you don’t want to see Pamela Anderson’s titties when she was 18, then for fuck’s sake do not click that link!

    1. I always thought she was hot when she was the Tool Time Girl. She stopped being so once she started with the plastic surgery.

      1. She was far hotter as the Tool Time girl.

  16. These chaps are DEFINITELY missing their stop! Photos of Japanese ‘salarymen’ in various drunken poses on the train after having one too many at the work party
    Sight of passed-out workers has become commonplace in Japan
    Custom in country means they can’t turn down drinks with bosses
    The tradition leads many businessmen to drink to excess and pass out
    A collection of pictures of the so-called ‘salarymen’ has now been put online

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..train.html

    1. Japanese culture does have its virtues.

    2. One time, riding a late train home from central Tokyo, there was a drunk salaryman trying to hold himself up and half leaning over the end of the bench seat. After drooling on some poor girl who quickly abandoned that seat he was drunkenly flailing around with the hand he wasn’t precariously supporting himself on.

      He was really causing everybody around him more trouble than he was worth so at one stop along the way I escorted him off the train onto the platform – telling him (in Japanese – as if I was the conductor) that we were at the end of the line. The rest of the passengers were relieved to be rid of him.

  17. What colour can YOU see? Dizzying optical illusion creates a different shade for every viewer – but no-one knows why
    Illusion named Benham’s top after Essex-born toymaker Charles Benham
    Some people see green, a few yellow or red and other see no colour at all
    Exactly why illusion looks different to different people is still a mystery
    Benham’s top is being researched for use as a tool to identify eye disease

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sci…..s-why.html
    Some of the lines looked kinda brown to me.

    1. Started out brown gray and black, then moved to brown and black after it changed speeds.

    2. Green, blue, black.

  18. The gunman who killed two police officers and another person in Las Vegas last night was shot and killed by police, not his partner.

    So the cops actually managed to shoot the right person for once. Now that is a man bites dog story if there ever was one.

    1. Video says otherwise. I’ve got a link above.

      1. Like I said, it is a man bites dog story, meaning it is unlikely.

  19. New Jersey is offering $82 million in tax credits to get the Philadelphia 76ers to practice in Camden.

    This is the worst sentence I’ve ever read.

    1. that laughing sound came from Alan Iverson’s house.

    2. I am pretty happy with the pic/alt-text change though.

  20. The gunman who killed two police officers and another person in Las Vegas last night was shot and killed by police, not his partner.

    Put enough rounds in the air, and one might go where you want it to.

  21. I’m a Philadelphia native and a 76ers fan. I love the team and I willingly saw them in person this year. And yet: They are historically awful. Their aura of shame and failure is palpable. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU GIVE UP MONEY TO BRING THEM CLOSER TO YOU.

    1. Because you are Camden and you can only go up, that is why.

      I was an NBA fan growing up. I am really sorry to see the Celtics and the 76ers have such a hard time attracting free agents. Those are two great basketball cities and the league is worse for their franchises not being consistently good.

      1. Yeah but Boston and Philly are cold and don’t have enough cluuuuubs!

        1. That is right. You don’t recruit the player anymore in free agency. You recruit the posse. And posses don’t like the cold.

      2. Philly was a good basketball city. It hasn’t really been a thing there for a while. Philly is a Football and Hockey town.

        1. It still has the big five. It still produces a ton of great high school players. It just doesn’t follow pro ball anymore because the 76ers are so lousy.

          It is like Washington Dc. Washington Dc is a great basketball town. But you wouldn’t know it because the team is so bad.

    2. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer

    3. The management of the 76ers is actually a conspiracy between the management of the Eagles and the Flyers to keep Philly fans from fully realizing how fucked up their personnel decisions are.

      1. The old 76ers management was.

        I like the new management. Hinkie realized that being mediocre is the worst thing to be. It’s better to suck completely to get the high draft picks and improve. The reigning rookie of the year and the man who would’ve been the #1 pick last year if he wasn’t injured, and two top-10 picks in the best draft in a decade? That’s how you make yourself a winner.

        Now the Phillies management? That’s where the conspiracy is.

        1. That is the only way to be. I am actually optimistic about the Celtics in the long term. They robbed the Nets in the Pierce Garnett deal. They have four Nets first round draft picks over the next five years and the right to flip picks with them in the fifth year. They also picked up two first rounders from the Clippers in return for Doc Rivers. I am so hoping Sterling drags that out and sues for a lot of reasons. But one of the better reasons is the hope that the entire league refuses to play for him and those draft picks end up being lottery picks. Basically Ainge traded a decent but overrated coach and two stars way past their prime to make a bet that either or both of the Clippers and the Nets will suck over the next five years. That sounds like a solid bet to me.

        2. Now the Phillies management? That’s where the conspiracy is.

          Is incompetence a conspiracy? Although maybe Ruben Amaro’s got some incriminating pictures of someone.

  22. “Obama cousin blasts the president…

    “”They say you cannot choose your family, but one thing you can do is choose to rise up and stop your family from destroying America,” [Milton] Wolf, a Republican, said on CNN on Thursday. “Look, it’s nothing personal, but I think Barack Obama is the worst president in our lifetime. In fact, I think he may be the worst president in our country’s history. I’m running for the United States Senate to put a stop to his failed policies.””

    http://www.politico.com/story/…..07772.html

  23. Wheat Enters Bear Market as Corn Drops on Supply Outlook

    http://www.bloomberg.com/news/…..eport.html

    INFLATION! BUY YER GOLD BOYS!

    1. And what happens to your stocks in a deflationary environment?

  24. As I posted in another thread before the AM Links were posted:

    NZ Cop ruled to use excessive force in tasing speeder… but of course he won’t be disciplined

    The article is full of fiskable material:

    On Christmas Day, 2011, police attempted to pull over Mark Smillie as he was driving along Arawa Road, in Whakatane.

    Smillie accelerated away and pulled into his property at “high speed”.

    The officer followed Smillie and advised him he was under arrest for failing to stop and was required to undertake a breath screening test.

    I instinctively question the “at high speed”. But the guy got home and you still tased him? Sounds like a cop pissed that somebody didn’t RESPECK MAH AUTHORITUH!!!111!!!

    And, of course, the policeman isn’t named.

    There’s also an audio interview at Radio New Zealand (4:40, ~1.7MB) that’s equally maddening.

  25. OT: Oh, Rick, really?

    Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) on Wednesday defended his state party’s recent embrace of “reparative therapy” for gays, saying that homosexuality is a choice…”I may have the genetic coding that I’m inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way.”

    I find I have no words.

    1. Perry should be in a really good position to get out in front of the growing populist revolt. But then he just can’t help himself from doing stupid shit to ruin it.

      1. No more presidents from Texass! LBJ and Dumbya are our low water marks.

        1. Really? You can’t think of a more recent low water mark than Dumbya?

          1. Dumbya may be our most recent American-born president.

      2. Gov. Perry is Exhibit A in why the Republican Party is the Stupid Party. The man’s an idiot.

        1. He really is. He has one of the easiest jobs in all of politics and is in a perfect position to stand in opposition to what is going on in Washington and he still manages to fuck it up. If he had even Obama level intelligence he would be the front runner for President right now.

          1. Pre-2012 I was positive he was going to be the Republican nominee. He had everything going for him. He managed to fuck it up completely, and, if anything, he’s gotten dumber since.

    2. They never fucking drop it. They can’t help themselves. They’re incapable of not ramming their heads into the wall again and again. (Not the gays.)

    3. Alcohol and homosexuality. How that takes me back to the old fraternity days.

    4. Perry does good governance pretty well, then drops crap like this, and the stupid remark a while back that Texas schools “teach creationism”, which, outside of a few charter schools, don’t. I just don’t see this guy as national candidate at all.

    5. I think homosexuality will largely disappear once there is a good genetic test for it, so in a sense it will be a “choice”.

    1. The daughter’s not trapped in the closet?

      1. More along the lines that she didn’t want to be pissed on.

    2. If I were him I’d be pissssed…

  26. Cracked.com hates the second amendment:

    http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-…..-chipotle/

    1. Not really seeing that from the article. The author himself says he has a ccw – he is against the needless agitation caused by the open carry movement in Texas. And I kind of agree with him and his mockery – and I have a CCW as well, so don’t paint me as Tony or some shit like that…

      1. I’m being a little facetious 🙂

        1. I’ll recalibrate my sarc-meter

          *furiously twisting knobs*

          1. Not all girls care for that.

            1. Not THAT knob!!! Get your mind out of the gutter!

              1. “Get your mind out of the gutter!”

                You do realize who you are addressing, yes?

              2. Just when he was getting comfortable…

    2. I assume that this being Cracked, even though it’s only five items, the list still runs to two pages, right?

      1. Sometimes three. Once I think I saw them go five for five (one page per item.)

      2. Yeah, but it beats Reason’s two sentences on page two.

    3. “Some of that may have something to do with the fact that the poster boys for the “open carry” movement have an uncanny ability to look utterly absurd while carrying machine guns

      I see an AR, and I see a Simonov (completely defiled by Tapco), a 91/30 slung by supermans older fatter and somewhat weaker cousin, and what appears to be a pair of OA-93 knockoffs, which are swelling with patriotic mucus, and worn as fashion accessories… but no “machine guns”

    1. It was an attempted rejection. Putting one honest guy in the House isn’t exactly going to end corruption.

      1. Putting one honest guy in the House isn’t exactly going to end corruption.

        It was just a primary, right? Or is that the same as a general election win in that part of VA?

        1. Yes. they haven’t even done that yet, though Brat will likely win the general.

        2. IIRC, it’s the most Republican district in the state.

  27. The woman who wants to look just like Jessica Rabbit: Two rounds of surgery has boosted her breasts to an O cup and she squeezes into a TINY corset 23 hours a day
    Penny has been obsessed by Jessica Rabbit since childhood

    Less destructive than emulating Woodrow Wilson.

  28. Quiz: Are you a spornosexual?

    Seriously, who makes this crap up?

    1. Not. Clicking.

      NO.

      1. No shyte. You couldn’t pay me to click that.

  29. BAGHDAD (AP) ? The al-Qaida-inspired group that captured two key Sunni-dominated cities in Iraq this week vowed on Thursday to march on to Baghdad, raising fears about the Shiite-led government’s ability to slow the assault following the insurgents’ lightning gains.

    Fighters from the militant group known as the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant took Saddam Hussein’s hometown of Tikrit on Wednesday as soldiers and security forces abandoned their posts and yielded ground once controlled by U.S. troops.

    Bush “You mean they is TWO kinds of Muslims?”

    I am enjoying the fake right-wing butthurt on this debacle.

    1. Here, have a beer, Shriek.

      *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHHHHHHH*

      1. Man, the Sunni-Shia War in Iraq has the potential to make Syria look like a warm-up.

        AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM, BOYS!

        1. So you don’t know what American exceptionalism means. Not that I’m surprised.

          1. Didn’t we cover this a few days ago? It was like a mini Derpmaggedon as I recall.

          2. No, I am mocking you fucking idiots who think the rest of the world gives a fuck about “American Exceptionalism”.

            1. What in the flying fuck would you know about the rest of the world anyway you backwater shit-for-brains?

            2. So you still don’t know what American exceptionalism means.

              1. No, you were spot on when this first came up. He truly doesn’t understand the concept of liberty. The file’s just not on the hard drive and as a result the concept of American Exceptionalism doesn’t compute.

                1. America invented liberty? FUCK YEAH!

                  1. Why don’t you put your reality where your mouth is and leave the country for a few years? Live in another country, another culture, another language for a few years – then come back and tell me what you think about it.

                    I’ve done it (no, not just in the military living on a base somewhere – although I’ve done that too) so I’m not just talking trash.

                    1. Nothing to say now huh buttplug?

                      Fuck you, I’m going to bed.

        2. God, you are such an American-hating dick who always brings up such obvious trolly shit…

          1. yeah, I hate America because I opposed the idiots who wanted to nation-build in Iraq.

            This is just like 2004.

            WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA? SUPPORT THE TROOPS! BUSH 2004!

      2. Hey Almanian, do you sprinkle sugar on the floor to teach the cockroaches who is boss?

    2. Fast and Furious for the win.

      1. Now you’re thinking.

        You want to see some true fucking derp from a conservative “leader” – Horowtiz?

        The Fruit of Obama’s Abandonment of Iraq

        His actions have been equally inept, based as they have been on his calculation of political advantage, and his reflexive blame-America internationalism.

        http://www.frontpagemag.com/20…..t-of-iraq/

        these idiots want to invade Iraq AGAIN – and of course the whole clusterfuck is Obama’s fault.

        1. Yeah, real mainstream conservative “leader” there. Can’t go a day without him being quoted by some TEATHUGLICAN!!!

    1. I didn’t know PB was an Aussie.

    2. Wooh, that’s movie material right there.
      The raids found 38 adults and children living in filthy caravans and tin sheds without electricity, town water or any plumbing. They were the result of four generations from grandparents who were brother and sister.

      1. +1 Uncle Daddy

      2. I’m thinking reality show on TLC.

      3. Targaryens?

    3. And as a side note on the same page, a stellar example of the smashing success of the Aussie gun control model, in all its glory

    1. Make sure to tell the planning commission not to build the bypass.

    2. Expect the Weyland corporation to use this in a way that jeopardizes human civilization.

    3. Cool physics. But McConaghey stinking up one sci fi movie about interstellar travel was enough for me.

  30. I watched the Independents last night. It didn’t completely suck.

    1. They need to move to HBO so they don’t have to edit out the Kennedy topless scenes.

      1. Wow, I found a topless Kennedy photo:

        http://www.ebay.com/itm/Very-H…..0632503973

        1. Somewhere there’s a b&w photo of a young Caroline Kennedy in a sheer top without a bra, but I can’t find it right now. It’s a very nice picture.

          1. I read somewhere that Neil Diamond wrote the song Sweet Caroline after seeing a picture of a then 13 year old Caroline Kennedy. It is the ultimate creepy old man song.

            1. “Touching meeeeee, Touching yoooouuuuuuuuu!” 😀

              The only way to make it more creepy is to have Gary Glitter do a cover of it.

    1. JOO-DISH-ALL AKTAVIZUM!!1!

    2. Maybe it is because another raw milk seller here was acquitted by a jury?

      http://www.businessweek.com/ap…..milk-trial

      Could I hope that people are coming to their senses here in Sunny Minnesota?

  31. “Abolish the Week!

    “It’s unnatural. It’s unnecessary. Why the seven-day week has got to go….

    “As for the spiritual logic for the seven-day week, I’ll abstain from making metaphysical claims, and stick to empirical ones. While some still keep the Sabbath by going to church, it’s clear Americans and Europeans no longer observe it religiously. Survey data has long showed that only about 40 percent of Americans report attending worship services weekly, and the actual level of attendance is more like half that because many respondents lie about how often they attend church. The numbers are lower in Europe: Only 3 percent of Danes, for example, reported weekly church attendance in 2004….

    “It’s hard to say what, if anything, should replace our seven-day cycle. Unlike the day, with its biological basis, there’s probably no universal need for weeks. In the end, a Silicon Valley week, a Brooklyn week, a school week, a Christian week, and maybe even Shark Week could happily coexist with no weeks at all, and people could attune their lives to the cycles that met their needs.”

    http://www.slate.com/articles/…..riods.html

    1. I’m convinced that Salon and Slate are in a competition to see who can post the most insane shit before somebody realizes they’re actually troll sites.

      1. Me too. Their business model seems to be to put up the most idiotic shit possible in hopes that will generate ad revenue by people coming to the site to be outraged or gawk at the idiocy. It is what I like to call train wreck journalism.

        1. I celebrate NO SLATE WEEK every week.

          1. Me too, though I get Dear Prudence via email. Emily Yoffe is always worth reading. The rest of them are just fucking retarded.

    2. When France tried to introduce the Metric Week during the revolution, the peasants went apeshit. The seven day tradition is culturally ingrained and a fairly decent compromise between work and leasure.

    3. The height of stupidity is criticizing something without : a) having a point about what is wrong with it and b) providing a reasonable alternative.

      This shipdit author could at least have come up with the Babylonian calendar or something else from antiquity but I guess that would have required either knowledge or thought – a bridge too far in this case it seems.

      1. There are certainly a lot of problems in the world. I am not really seeing how having a seven day week is one of them. We have to mark the times some way. And everyone seems to like doing it with seven day weeks.

      2. The earliest ancient sources record a seven-day week in ancient Babylon prior to 600 BCE

        The Babylonian Calendar would still have given them seven days.

        1. I can’t say if it was before or after that but at some point the Babylonians had a calendar with 12 months of 30 days each with 5 six-day-weeks. They rounded out the year with 4 or 5 festival days which were outside the monthly cycle.

          I would expect that should such a system come to pass we would only get one day off for every five days we worked. I see no upside in that.

    4. Typical progressive thinking. Something is traditional so we must change it even though we have no idea what we would replace it with that or why the replacement would be better but change for it’s own sake is good so we must do this.

  32. Guess who is going to be a referee for tonight’s Game 4 of the NBA finals? That’s right, Joey Fucking Crawford:

    http://www.nba.com/news/referee.html

    This means that the Heat are assured of a victory. I mean, the only thing that could prevent that from happening is if LeBron James blows out his knee on the opening possession. Anything short of that equals a Heat victory.

  33. Aussie government rakes in money after it lowers the threshold for when it can seize idle bank accounts.

    http://www.smh.com.au/federal-…..39t7p.html

    1. Even five years was too short.

      There’s no grounds for them to just steal idle funds.

  34. “Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel says mistakes were made in the deal to swap Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl for five Guantanamo detainees.”

    Obama says he has nothing to apologize for.

    He has other people do that for him.

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