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A.M. Links: Obama Defends Prisoner Swap, New NSA Chief Doubts Snowden a Spy, NASA Releases Picture of Universe

Ed Krayewski | 6.4.2014 9:00 AM

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Large image on homepages | NASA
(NASA)
  • everywhere else
    NASA

    While in Poland, President Obama defended his decision to trade prisoners with the Taliban in order to secure the release of a soldier captured in Afghanistan, saying that it's what happens when wars wind down. Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, however, was never listed as a prisoner of war. Obama will also meet with Ukraine's president elect, Petro Poroshenko, while in Poland.

  • Adm. Michael Rogers, the new head of the National Security Agency, says whistleblower Edward Snowden is probably not a Russian spy.
  • According to contract documents, the Secret Service is purchasing software that can detect sarcasm on the Internet. Great idea guys!
  • The results of the Mississippi Republican Senate primary, between the six-term senator Thad Cochrane and Chris McDaniel, a Tea Party challenger,  remain too close to call.
  • Former Egyptian army chief Abdel-Fattah al-Sisi won the presidential election with 96 percent of the vote, according to the country's electoral authority.
  • NASA released a new panorama composite photo of the universe taken by the Hubble Space Telescope that includes ultraviolet light for the first time.
  • The pharmacologist who helped popularize MDMA, Alexander Shulgin, is dead at 88.

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NEXT: Talking Drug War Craziness with Scott Horton on the Radio

Ed Krayewski is a former associate editor at Reason.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    I say we boycott reason until they stop unfixing commenting. WHO'S WITH ME?

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Hello.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      Given that they can't keep the regular commenting system working for a desktop environment, I have no hope for the craptacular mobile interface.

  2. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    NASA released a new panorama composite photo of the universe taken by the Hubble Space Telescope that includes ultraviolet light for the first time.

    1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      No vampires in space?

      1. SugarFree   11 years ago

        There are space vampires, and they don't wear clothes.

        1. Slammer   11 years ago

          Go on...

          1. SugarFree   11 years ago

            Lifeforce

        2. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

          I saw that movie, and it was..... awesome.

          1. Rich   11 years ago

            It does appear to be one *mighty fine* film.

            1. Rich   11 years ago

              Am I being sarcastic?

              1. gaijin   11 years ago

                Am I being sarcastic?

                Secret Service shakes new magic 8 ball...and the answer is...maybe.

  3. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

    According to contract documents, the Secret Service is purchasing software that can detect sarcasm on the Internet. Great idea guys!

    And they're using the H&R comments for their beta run.

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      This commentariat is *far* beyond whatever these clowns can come up with.

      Am I being sarcastic?

      1. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

        No, you don't post enough babes from the Daily Fail.

        1. Rich   11 years ago

          Right, like their detector can pick out *typos*!

    2. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      Good luck, I make many sarcastic threats against public officials which I am in no way responsible for should some unstable fanatic carry them out.

    3. Jensen   11 years ago

      Having read a couple months of this stuff I believe their sarcasm machine may explode.

    4. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

      "Great idea guys!" Nice:)

    5. MJGreen   11 years ago

      Will we be compensated?

  4. Slammer   11 years ago

    Teacher charged with raping student flipped out over prom date

    Their relationship escalated and got physical on June 5, 2013 when Morsi brought the teen into a closet in the school's gym exposed her breast to him, performed oral sex and had intercourse, according to court documents.
    Prosecutors said the teacher and student had sex more than 20 times in the school last year in various places, including the basement and gymnasium, prosecutors said.

    Yep. Very rapey.

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      She brought joy.

      I'd bang that.

      1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

        The Daily Mail with more pictures:

        http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....-year.html

        We had a few teacher sex scandals when I was in high school. I was not a part of any unfortunately.

      2. Mock-star   11 years ago

        Yeah for 39 she looks really good.

        Also, thats one helluva weight loss program for wrestlers. ....Thanks Common Core??

      3. JW   11 years ago

        That, poor, poor boy. My dick heart goes out to him.

        1. Trouser-Pod   11 years ago

          My dick heart goes out to him.

          OK, the idea of "My dick goes out to him." even being a possible saying is quite hilarious. Sounds like a saying people in the future would think we used now, a la Demolition Man

          1. Slammer   11 years ago

            Hitchens and Rushdie literature jokes

            1. Slammer   11 years ago

              ^^^ This is the wrong video. I wanted the one where they took all the classics with HEART in the title and said DICK instead. This is still funny, though.

    2. Virginian   11 years ago

      Oh her husband works at the same school. So....yeah.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      "This defendant violated the teacher-student trust,"

      What? Maybe the parent-teacher trust, but I don't think the student is really complaining.

    4. SugarFree   11 years ago

      I think the real story here is that there is a female gym teacher somewhere out there that isn't a mannish lesbian.

    5. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

      Yes. It's extremmely difficulyt for a woman to find a man of legal age willing to have sex with them.

      1. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

        Going to have to find out where the local high school teachers go for happy hour. Almost typed girls instead of teachers:)

        1. gimmeasammich   11 years ago

          Internet search habit?

          Also +1 Dazed and Confused

    6. DesigNate   11 years ago

      What kind of wrestler couldn't man handle that teacher. I call shenanigans!

  5. waffles   11 years ago

    software that can detect sarcasm on the Internet.

    Life imitates Futurama?

    1. BiMonSciFiCon   11 years ago

      And the Simpsons, IIRC

      1. waffles   11 years ago

        Oops. It's comic book guy. How could I forget?

    2. gaijin   11 years ago

      software that can detect sarcasm on the Internet.

      Maybe something Eric Holder's crew could use?

      Holder announces task force on 'homegrown' terrorists

      ""Now -- as the nature of the threat we face evolves to include the possibility of individual radicalization via the Internet -- it is critical that we return our focus to potential extremists here at home," Holder said."

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        How much you want to bet it fails to find the thousands of terrorists with badges roaming the streets.

  6. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Utah high school teacher, 34, accused of having sex with 16-year-old student claims SHE is the victim after teen boy 'wore down her defenses'
    Brianne Altice, 34, was a teacher at Davis High School in Kaysville, Utah
    She has been charged with rape after police investigated three counts of unlawful sexual activity with a minor
    The teen was able to accurately describe her tattoos to police and layout of her home
    16-year-old boy admitted to investigators he had sex with Altice at least three times in 2013

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....enses.html
    I wouldn't mind wearing down her defenses.

    1. waffles   11 years ago

      I wouldn't mind wearing down her defenses

      nice

    2. Drake   11 years ago

      Wow. You will go far young man!

    3. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Not bad.

      I never seem to catch the vulnerable ones.

    4. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

      She looks good all dolled up, but that mug shot is pretty scary.

    5. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Could you imagine if a 34-year-old man accused of having sex with a 16-year-old girl tried this defense?

      1. WDATPDIM?!   11 years ago

        I think Mac tried it in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Didn't go over so well....

      2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        Saw the movie suggestions last night. Grazie, sir.

        1. Ted S.   11 years ago

          If you like Aldo Ray in The Marrying Kind, a movie of his that might be more up your alley is Nightfall. And then you can go watch Anne Bancroft in The Slender Thread.

    6. WDATPDIM?!   11 years ago

      Who usually brings these teenage-boy + female-teacher relationships to light?

      1. Slammer   11 years ago

        Another student. Lesson to be learned: Don't fucking brag...to anyone.

        1. WDATPDIM?!   11 years ago

          Ah yes.

      2. mr simple   11 years ago

        I don't get why they go along with it, even if someone else makes the accusation. It says he accurately described her tattoos and house to prove the allegation. Why not just stay silent, if not lie.

    7. tarran   11 years ago

      Ugh. You know she'd set your cat on fire and take a sledgehammer to your car during the break up

      1. JWatts   11 years ago

        Cat's have a short life span anyway and the car's got a lot of mileage on it. You only live once and that's a story and memory that will be with you for decades.

        Just sayin'

    8. Virginian   11 years ago

      Notice the motto of the school "defend the tradition"

    9. DesigNate   11 years ago

      Nice!

  7. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Adm. Michael Rogers, the new head of the National Security Agency, says whistleblower Edward Snowden is probably not a Russian spy.

    But definitely not a whistleblower?

    1. gaijin   11 years ago

      But definitely not a whistleblower?

      Until they are able to throw him into a pond, hands bound, and see if he floats, there will always be uncertainty.

  8. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

    The pharmacologist who helped popularize MDMA, Alexander Shulgin, is dead at 88.

    Ever noticed 88 is a palindrome? Trippy, dude.

    1. Slammer   11 years ago

      You know who else liked the number 88?

      1. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

        Charles Messier?

      2. Doctor Whom   11 years ago

        The people in charge of the Ronald Reagan Memorial Tollway?

        1. 110 Lean   11 years ago

          If there really is a Ronald Reagan Memorial Tollway, that's pretty fucking ironic.

          1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

            I-88, in IL

      3. Rich   11 years ago

        Herman Cain?

      4. Ted S.   11 years ago

        Piano makers?

      5. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

        Patrick Kane?

        1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

          TOO SOON!

          *sobs*

      6. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        Skinheads?

        1. Slammer   11 years ago

          *ding ding ding* Nazi Skinheads!

          1. VicRattlehead   11 years ago

            +1 Blood and Honor lol

      7. sarcasmic   11 years ago

        Quentin Tarantino?

      8. EDG reppin' LBC   11 years ago

        Michael Irvin?

      9. 110 Lean   11 years ago

        Phillip Booth?

      10. mr simple   11 years ago

        Dale Earnhardt Jr.

      11. NealAppeal   11 years ago

        The fat motorcycle twins?

      12. The Original Jason   11 years ago

        David Kaufman?

      13. Corning   11 years ago

        Bush Sr

  9. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    Anybody who questions Obama's methods or motivations is a RACIST.

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      *** DING DING DING DING ***

      SARCASM DETECTED!!

      1. Agammamon   11 years ago

        This is what happens when you specify an 1/20 false positive rate is acceptable.

  10. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Former police officer faces NINE YEARS in jail for killing community's beloved wild elk
    Boulder cop Sam Carter was found guilty Tuesday of illegally killing Big Boy last year and could face up to nine years jail time
    Carter's attorney argued he was protecting area dogs from the 'menace' ruminant
    Big Boy's slaying has inspired a folk song and mourning Boulder community members are planning to install a memorial bench

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....-case.html
    He should have killed a person. Then nothing else would have happened.

    1. Steve G   11 years ago

      Yeah, uh, taking the trophy pic w/ the animal doesn't really help your case there guy.

    2. KDN   11 years ago

      Carter argued that the elk had become dangerously domesticated and was scaring local dogs.

      Cop claiming that he was trying to protect the local dogs? That's some nice chutzpah, Sam.

    3. Agammamon   11 years ago

      Two things here.

      1. If he was 'protecting the dogs', who gave the order to shoot the animal? I certainly hope individual cops aren't allowed to exercise that much discretion. If no-one ordered him to shoot it then he overstepped his authority.

      2. Its fucking ridiculous that a person could face NINE YEARS for shooting a moose.

    4. R C Dean   11 years ago

      Well, its six years in the text of the article.

      The charges against Carter included three felonies ? forgery, tampering with evidence, and attempting to influence a public official.

      Misdemeanor counts against him included misconduct, illegal possession of a trophy elk, conspiracy to commit illegal possession of wildlife, unlawfully taking a big game animal out of season, and unlawful use of an electronic communication device to unlawfully take wildlife.

      The misdemeanors all relate to the elk. The felonies all relate to abuse of his authority. Sounds about right, to me.

      One question: why no firearms charges? Sure looks to me like he illegally discharged a firearm. So, yeah, if you're looking for a double standard, its still there. A "civilian" would have been treated even more harshly.

  11. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Cause of GWAR frontman's death revealed: Shock rocker Dave Brockie AKA 'Oderus Urungus' overdosed on heroin
    The 50-year-old singer was found dead on March 23 at this Richmond, Virginia home
    Local medical examiners ruled Tuesday that Brockie died of accidental acute heroin toxicity

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....eroin.html

    1. Virginian   11 years ago

      Wow that's a shock. Not.

      They're going to open a GWARbar though. I heard there's a Kickstarter.

    2. gaijin   11 years ago

      Wait, so 'Spider Bite' is the new code for heroin overdose?

      1. gaijin   11 years ago

        oh, that was Slayer...my bad.

    3. John   11 years ago

      Cause of GWAR frontman's death revealed: Shock rocker Dave Brockie AKA 'Oderus Urungus' overdosed on heroin

      At least he died a proper rock star death. I think choking on his own vomit would have been more appropriate but that still counts as dying with his boots on.

      1. EDG reppin' LBC   11 years ago

        Choking on someone else's vomit. Now that's rock n roll.

    4. Azathoth!!   11 years ago

      Come, we all know what happened. Oderus evacuated the host body. The resulting toxic shock brought on by decades of maintaining an alien biochenistry caused the host to cease functioning.

      A new host will be found although Oderus will have to answer for failing to have disposal creatures on site to eat the husk.

    5. VicRattlehead   11 years ago

      He also enjoyed dropping LSD and sticking his head in the bass drum because it sounds cool
      Any cause of death except natural wouldn't have shocked me he is Oderus
      the intergalactic correspondent to earth.

  12. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Run for your lives! Hilarious video shows passersby scream in terror as huge 'T-Rex' bursts out of woods in elaborate prank

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....prank.html

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Um, in the last bit shouldn't the mother's first instinct have been to pick up her youngest daughter? She pulled a Costanza.

      Funny prank though. He did a good job of easing into people and not spazzing.

      1. Corning   11 years ago

        She pulled a Costanza.

        Nah she ran around her helpless daughter.

        Costanza would have stomped right over her.

    2. C. Anacreon   11 years ago

      They didn't show the clip where the elderly guy went into cardiac arrest from the shock.

  13. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Cops respond to home after its alarm system is activated and shoot Bullet the family dog FIVE times, killing him
    Police in Round Rock, Texas responded to the home after its owners' granddaughter forgot to shut the front door, triggering the alarm
    The owner, Russell Lane, managed to deactivate it from his cell but police went to the address anyway
    Surveillance footage shows them cautiously entering the home
    Inside, they shot dead the eight-year-old Rottweiler, claiming he acted aggressively towards them
    But the heartbroken family said he had never been aggressive to anyone

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....y-dog.html

    1. WDATPDIM?!   11 years ago

      How come your C&Ps; don't have any periods?

      1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

        .................................................

        1. db   11 years ago

          Poser.

          1. Steve G   11 years ago

            lo.l.

      2. Agammamon   11 years ago

        They take the pill for birth control?

    2. Virginian   11 years ago

      Fucking cops.

  14. widget   11 years ago

    From a few days ago. Beyond the speed of light.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2014/05.....-data.html

    1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

      They're trying to prove Einstein was wrong. That's not science. The science is settled. There's a consensus. They're just deniers and heretics. True science takes a vote and declares everything to be settled.

      1. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

        Clearly anti-science anti-Semites. And probably virulent SoCons.

    2. widget   11 years ago

      You're not thinking about the demise of Comcast with enough enthusiasm.

    3. John   11 years ago

      That has been known for a while. Two quantum particles can sometimes be linked in some mysterious way such that if you change the spin of one, the other changes at the exact same time in the exact same way regardless of distance. It is pretty wild.

      1. Protagoronus   11 years ago

        So far everyone that has teleported information was unable to retrieve said information without communicating using classical physics between the two points (limited by light speed). This article really drops the ball in explaining how anything has changed.

        1. John   11 years ago

          Yes. The hope is that you could use it for instantaneous and completely secure communication. But no one has been able to perfect that. This phenomena has been known about since the 70s. It was one of the main justifications used for string theory. Yet, to my knowledge no one has made any progress figuring out what is going on or how to use it for anything productive. It still is just in the realm of really weird shit no one seems to be able to explain.

          1. Protagoronus   11 years ago

            Absolutely. I for one really hope D-Wave is actually using quantum entanglement.

            1. VicRattlehead   11 years ago

              Pssh we've had quantum entangler comms for years on the SR2 Normandy

          2. Shmenge   11 years ago

            Actually it's been known since 1935. Einstein first proposed it when he presented the EPR paradox.

      2. The Last American Hero   11 years ago

        It's kinda like how certain TEAM players change their spin to align with their principals.

      3. Overt   11 years ago

        if you change the spin of one, the other changes at the exact same tim

        That isn't accurate. It's that if you MEASURE a property of one entangled particle, you now know the same property of the partner.

        This is why Quantum Physics annoys the shit out of me. Essentially, these particles are so small that you can't make measurements without changing them- I can't measure the speed of a proton without some sort of tool that- in the process of taking that measurement- changes the speed. This leads to all sorts of problems like I can only measure one property at a time, and therefore only know one property at a time.

        Entanglement happens when you treat two particles exactly the same so that they should have the same (or exactly opposing) properties. So if you measure one, you now know the other without having to measure (and therefore change) the property of the other.

        The problem is that Quantum Physics has gone from saying "We can't know this property until it is measured" to saying "The property doesn't actually exist in any state until we measure it". And because of that symantic difference, suddenly the Measurement "causes" the new property to take shape.

    4. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      Do you have a link that doesn't go to the NY Times? We have a bit of an adversarial relationship, and I can't read their articles.

    5. Corning   11 years ago

      Thus proving that the big bang is bullshit.

  15. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    According to contract documents, the Secret Service is purchasing software that can detect sarcasm on the Internet. Great idea guys!

    Those guys are geniuses.

    1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      A sarcasm detector? Yeah, that's real useful.

      1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

        I could beat it.

        1. VicRattlehead   11 years ago

          I can beat it too, but what does that have to do with a sarcasm detector?

  16. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

    http://slate.me/1nLtbWa

    How you'll die by state.

    1. Jordan   11 years ago

      Florida = accidents. There's a shocker.

      1. db   11 years ago

        When an alligator eats you, it's not an.accident to the alligator.

        1. DontShootMe   11 years ago

          Finally, the motto for my coat of arms.

          Cum ad alligator comedat te, id est, non ad alligator an.accident.

          Not the greatest translation, likely, but it will do for a start.

          1. db   11 years ago

            Definitely leave the periods in.

    2. Spartacus   11 years ago

      There are a lot of states where "septicemia" is disproportionately large as a cause of death (third graphic). Way more than I expected. Maybe those are the states with the most VA hospitals.

  17. 110 Lean   11 years ago

    It's about fucking time.

    Company plans to have first flying cars ready in two years...

    1. DJF   11 years ago

      I won't believe it until I read it in Popular Mechanics.

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        I won't beleive it until the FAA bans it.

      2. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

        or Car and Flyer.

    2. db   11 years ago

      Skies.to.begin raining idiots shortly thereafter.

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        Next up - "Self-flying car!"

    3. db   11 years ago

      Flying cars will not happen for a number of reasons entirely independent of regulation:

      1. Instrument meteorological conditions.
      Inadvertent flight into IMC is one of the top leading causes of aviation fatalities. Drivers are not equipped with the required skills to avoid disorientation in IMC, not to mention the hazard they would create to other aircraft.

      2. Choppy air. 80% of drivers and their passengers won't be able to handle the bumps especially near the surface.

      2. Obstructions.
      Basically flying cars are a cool idea but even if they became a reality, few would adopt them because of the.serious issues of training required (leaving aside.regulatory requirements) to use them safely.

      1. John   11 years ago

        The other reason is physics. To get lift, you have to have speed. There is no where for cars to get that kind of speed. What are you going to do, run up to 80 in your driveway?

        Also, the driving mechanisms for moving on land don't work very well in the air and vice versa. You can't drive your jet powered car down the street without barbequing the guy behind you. And if switching from conventional wheels to a prop or a jet were practical, we would have long since had flying cars.

        Until they develop some kind of Jetson like anti-gravity propulsion, we are never having flying cars.

        1. db   11 years ago

          Even with antigravity

          1. db   11 years ago

            Even with antigravity, the other considerations will kill it as a transport method absent complete automation..

            1. John   11 years ago

              Yes. And anti gravity only gets you airborne. It doesn't get you moving horizontally. You would still need some kind of propulsion to do that. Also, short of a Back to the Future Mr. Fusion, where the hell are you going to get the power to move the weight of a car airborne and forward?

              1. Virginian   11 years ago

                Well if you have full gravity manipulation, then anything is possible basically. Mass constraints essentially disappear.

                Hell, slap an AG unit inside a Nimitz class carrier and boom... Marvel comics is real.

                Slap one inside an SSN, instant spaceship.

                1. tarran   11 years ago

                  SSN's are good at keeping pressure out, not necessarily in keeping in contained...

                  1. Virginian   11 years ago

                    So wrap on a shitload of reinforcement. You can flip the switch and make gravity go away, it's no problem.

                    Shit with antigrav tech we could all move to orbit.

            2. JW   11 years ago

              Look, you dumb-dumbs, solar roads are going to obsolesce all of this.

              1. tarran   11 years ago

                Will they have LED lane markers?

                1. Corning   11 years ago

                  It will look like friggin tron

                2. Timon 19   11 years ago

                  In Turkey, they have solar-powered LED centerline and lane markers at intersections of their inter-city two-lane highways (and at important/dangerous curves). They're useful, because when you're away from the cities, there's NO light.

        2. trshmnster the terrible   11 years ago

          You can't drive your jet powered car down the street without barbequing the guy behind you.

          Au contraire Chrysler Turbine Car, STP Turbine Car

          Granted, your point still stands about jet turbines for aviation.

          1. Agammamon   11 years ago

            Don't tailgate.

        3. DontShootMe   11 years ago

          You can't drive your jet powered car down the street without barbequing the guy behind you.

          Feature, not bug.

        4. Anon E. Mouse   11 years ago

          "The other reason is physics. To get lift, you have to have speed. There is no where for cars to get that kind of speed. "

          I'll be sure and let the pilot know that what he's doing is in violation of the laws of physics the next time I ride in a helicopter.

          1. db   11 years ago

            You, of course, know, that helicopters develop lift by spinning little wings in a circle to obtain the airflow over the airfoil that airplanes generate by.moving forward in a straight line, right?

          2. R C Dean   11 years ago

            I'll be sure and let the pilot know that what he's doing is in violation of the laws of physics the next time I ride in a helicopter balloon.

            1. JW   11 years ago

              My hovercraft is full of eels.

            2. John   11 years ago

              Yes, you can get lift from lighter than air gas. But I was operating under the assumption we are talking about heavier than air flight here. And for that you need lift and speed either in the form of a rotating wing or horizontal movement creating airflow over a wing.

              If lighter than air flying cars were practical, I am pretty sure we would have them by now just like we would if putting rotors on cars was practical.

      2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        .db debbie.downer.

    4. mr simple   11 years ago

      Seems more like a driving plane than a flying car.

      1. db   11 years ago

        It would almost have to be. You have to start with the most specialized systems required and design from there, which guarantees what you say.

  18. Rufus J. Fisk   11 years ago

    heard Norm Macdonald tell this joke to Carl Reiner the other day. Let me know if you have heard it before.

    Hitler did one good thing in his life.....He killed Hitler!!!

    1. gimmeasammich   11 years ago

      Do you know who else tried to... Oh, never mind.

  19. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    You know else went into Poland and then tried to make lame excuses for his behavior?

    1. Drake   11 years ago

      The Polish?

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Justin Bieber?

    3. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      That's easy.

      Obama.

    4. Corning   11 years ago

      The Golden Horde

  20. Slammer   11 years ago

    Obama snapped pumping iron at hotel gym

    Pussy. Do some squats.

    1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

      That is hilarious.

      1. Virginian   11 years ago

        Putin would squat about 150 kg.

        1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

          Bah. Thanks to Uncle Warty's Squat Program for Great Justice and Might, I could squat two Putins tied to a bar!

          1. Warty   11 years ago

            You laugh, but Slavs seem fond of that exercise. Especially the smart ones.

            1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

              I am not laughing - I am getting noticeably stronger. I appreciate the advice you gave, although I would curse you for putting that mnemonic in my head (the one about form...gah!).

              1. gimmeasammich   11 years ago

                What was the mnemonic?

                BOAGYA? Bend Over And Grab Your Ankles?

                1. Warty   11 years ago

                  Shit on the floor, don't shit on your feet.

      2. gaijin   11 years ago

        hah! Looks like he's using those shake weights...with cooling spray!

        South Park Shake Weights

        1. The Original Jason   11 years ago

          Less lame link.

    2. Warty   11 years ago

      Oh my fucking god. Cheated hammer curls with about 10kg dumbbells. For fuck's sake. It's bad enough that we're ruled by a huge asshole, but to be ruled by a huge asshole who has the physique of a 16 year old anorexic girl? Humiliating.

      1. VicRattlehead   11 years ago

        he lacks the doomcock

    3. db   11 years ago

      I read that and my first thought was that the stress and embarrassment finally got the best of him and he lit into reporters or reamed out a subordinate in public at a gym.

  21. Rich   11 years ago

    Exclusive: The story you haven't yet heard about Bowe Bergdahl's desertion

    Mark my words: The Dems lose the Senate this fall.

    1. John   11 years ago

      I think Bo is right. I honestly think that Obama and the White House staff are so out of touch and stupid that they didn't understand trading Taliban leaders for a deserter would be a problem. It really is another Obama "as God is my witness I thought Turkeys could fly" moment.

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        Ah, Les, Herb and Mr. Carlson.

        God bless 'em all.

        1. John   11 years ago

          Jay Carney kind of is Less Nessman when you think about it. Valarie Jerrett is sort of like Carlson's mother who owned the station.

          1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

            Chi Chi Rodriquez and swimming meeting.

            1. John   11 years ago

              Don't forget those little dogs from Mexico "Chi hua huas."

      2. VicRattlehead   11 years ago

        turkeys can fly though?

    2. John   11 years ago

      The other thing is there is no way they will be able to shut up the guys who served with him and know the truth. NOTHING lasts longer than a grudge that arose during combat.

      1. gaijin   11 years ago

        Berghazi! Fake scandal!

        1. C. Anacreon   11 years ago

          Swift Boats.

    3. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Fuck Disqus.

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        Yeah, sorry 'bout that.

        Am I being sarcastic?

        1. Steve G   11 years ago

          processing...processing...

          /USSS

    4. widget   11 years ago

      I'll be the devil's advocate here. If we're bugging out of Afghanistan why not take him with us? It's a lost cause and has been for many years.

      Except for the 10,000 troops the Prez wants to leave there. You can't have it both ways, dude.

      1. John   11 years ago

        Maybe you do, but you don't give up anything or anyone of value to do so.

      2. Virginian   11 years ago

        If we're bugging out of Afghanistan why not take him with us

        He's not worth it. He deserted, from all accounts. You move heaven and earth, and kick in the gates of hell to retrieve a POW. You let deserters deal with the consequences of their own decisions.

    5. 110 Lean   11 years ago

      Mark my words: The Dems lose the Senate this fall.

      And that's exactly what they want. If the GOP controls both houses, anything that gets passed will be vetoed. The media and the Dems will continually lambaste the GOP for passing stupid shit. The Dems will say that in order to do what America desperately needs, the electorate must elect a Dem president in 2016 and turn both the senate and the house Dem too. It's a long-term strategy. Lose a battle, win the war.

      1. John   11 years ago

        I don't think so. Controlling the Senate allows Reid to keep politically embarassing issues like fixing or repealing Obamacare from ever coming to a vote. This allows Democrats in the Senate to have it both ways. They can claim to be for doing something but never have to actually piss off their base by casting a vote for it. Take away the majority and Reid no longer can keep things from coming to a vote. That means Democratic Senators will have to vote yeah or neah on a lot of issues they don't want to deal with.

        The media can only claim it is Congress being unreasonable as long as only Republicans are voting for it. Once a few Democratic Senators break and vote for a bill, and they will if they lose the Senate, it is bi-partisan and the old "its just the evil obstructionist Republicans again" Jedi mind trick no longer works.

        Losing the Senate would make things very difficult for the Democrats in the Senate up for re-election in 2016. They would either have to make really unpopular votes or create a very visible divide in the Democratic Party that even the media couldn't ignore.

      2. MJGreen   11 years ago

        I doubt these guys think that far ahead. There's waaaay too much uncertainty for anyone to think it's worth giving up power.

    6. Corning   11 years ago

      Mark my words: The Dems lose the Senate this fall.

      If anything this drew away attention from the VA scandal which has closer links with Senate democrats.

      This new scandal is also a perfect chance for Senate democrats to distance themselves from Obama without actually going against any of his core party policies.

  22. John   11 years ago

    http://www.techdirt.com/articl.....ping.shtml

    We followed the back and forth situation earlier this year, in which there were some legal questions over whether or not the NSA needed to hang onto surveillance data at issue in various lawsuits, or destroy it as per the laws concerning retention of data. Unfortunately, in the process, it became clear that the DOJ misled FISA court Judge Reggie Walton, withholding key information. In response, the DOJ apologized, insisting that it didn't think the data was relevant -- but also very strongly hinting that it used that opportunity to destroy a ton of evidence. However, this appeared to be just the latest in a long history of the NSA/DOJ willfully destroying evidence that was under a preservation order.

    The key case where this evidence was destroyed was the EFF's long running Jewel v. NSA case, and the EFF has now told the court about the destruction of evidence, and asked the court to thus assume that the evidence proves, in fact, that EFF's clients were victims of unlawful surveillance. The DOJ/NSA have insisted that they thought that the EFF's lawsuit only covered programs issued under executive authority, rather than programs approved by the FISA Court, but the record in the case shows that the DOJ seems to be making this claim up.

    Forget Obama, Eric Holder needs to be impeached and indicted.

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      The password is "escrow".

    2. Rich   11 years ago

      Careful, John -- You're starting to sound like a homegrown extremist.

      Am I being sarcastic?

      1. John   11 years ago

        I saw that. It sounds like the right thing to do. I mean who doesn't want to go after the assholes who shoot up Jewish Community Centers. But then you realize Holder is talking about anyone who isn't reliably Democrat.

  23. Spartacus   11 years ago

    Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, however, was never listed as a prisoner of war.

    If I recall correctly, neither were the Gitmo detainees.

    1. John   11 years ago

      Some were. The ones who found to be in organized units fighting for the Taliban government of Afghanistan were rightfully declared POWs. The ones like KSM and many others who didn't fight in organized units and were just terrorists with government supporter were and are rightfully not considered POWs.

      1. Spartacus   11 years ago

        That makes sense (until you get to the part where "if they are not POWs then what are they?"). I was under the impression that actual Taliban POWs went to a different prison.

        1. John   11 years ago

          The ones who were found to be Taliban and POWs were sent back to Afghanistan and the new Afghanistan government dealt with them.

          If they are not POWs, they are just criminals like Tim McVeigh or any other terrorist. What they should have done was tried them under the rules of Nuremberg, which is still good law, and sentenced them accordingly.

          Indeed, they did one military tribunal on Bin Ladin's chauffeur and they ended up giving him time served. The military tribunals were not and did not have to be kangaroo courts. To me one of the bigger mistakes Bush made was letting the Left bully him out of running full on tribunals down there and deciding all of those cases. As it was, he did nothing and we ended up with a bunch of guys sitting there without any consistent legal justification for keeping them.

  24. Rich   11 years ago

    How using a smartphone or tablet could make you FAT: Blue light emitted by devices 'increases hunger'

    Ha! K-Mart did it first!

    Well, actually *the sky* did it first.

    1. John   11 years ago

      Oddly, my weight seems to depend on how much and what kinds of food I eat and how much I exercise these days just like it did back in the days before smart phones. I guess I am immune.

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        I could stand to lose some weight (or more accurately replace some fat with muscle), and I rarely use a smartphone.

      2. widget   11 years ago

        Make an exercise app. There's some appurtenance you can buy with the Samsung Galaxy series that monitors your heartbeat and respiration. Yankee marketing at its finest. Buy this and get fit.

      3. gaijin   11 years ago

        ^Agree. I began tracking my calories using an app and it is interesting what a difference just paying attention can make in weight management.

        As to K mart's blue light--creating demand or providing supply?

    2. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

      I think it could have an effect, but it's more about interrupting sleep cycle, thereby creating more stress, etc.

      [quote]In agreement with [every other study], blue but not red light suppressed melatonin. But it appears as though both sources of light, or just "light" in general, enhanced cortisol [modestly]? odd, somewhat, because visually, red light should be more similar to darkness:[/quote]

    3. Corning   11 years ago

      Those poor hungry sailors.

  25. Virginian   11 years ago

    http://www.theblaze.com/storie.....ew-movie/#

    Well played.

    1. John   11 years ago

      When you have lost Mad Magazine. It seems impossible to believe, but I think at least some in the media and mass culture may be starting to turn on him.

      1. waffles   11 years ago

        Well Bush was pretty much mud from 2006-2008. Why should Obama be any different?

        1. John   11 years ago

          He is a Democrat and black. The media hated Bush pretty much the whole time. I thought the media would eventually turn on Obama but frankly have given up all hope. They just have too much invested in him. I may, however, be wrong.

          1. Slammer   11 years ago

            Mad has always ripped everyone.

          2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

            This latest move is mind-numbingly bizarre not sure what the advantage is. It's like he's playing chess using Connect Four strategy. And will this lead to a "ransom" strategy by terrorists?

            Also, not sure using the Israeli example of them swapping for prisoners is the same.

            1. John   11 years ago

              A wise man once said "people don't just one day become depraved". What other bizarre things is he going to do? Forget fucking up as President. The country has survived plenty of bad Presidents. I am starting to worry Obama isn't just bad, he may be dangerous.

              1. wareagle   11 years ago

                only starting to worry? I've long held that once you exhaust all the possible reasons for things going bad - lousy advice, hiring the wrong people, bad decisions, etc - you have start considering the heretofore impossible. Like malice. Fundamental transformation; it's not a bumper sticker slogan.

      2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        They've actually spoofed Obama more I think.

    2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      I read that Reid was happy about this because Republicans won't close down Gitmo.

      He's mental.

      1. John   11 years ago

        He really is mental. Did you catch the "I have been told that not telling Congress was legal". Really Harry? By whom? The Gnome that lives in the trunk of your car?

        1. Slammer   11 years ago

          Who in the hell keeps VOTING for him? I don't get it. He's obviously unhinged.

          1. John   11 years ago

            I think he is pretty much a front for the Mormon Mafia and the Casino Unions out there. Apparently, their members still take orders.

            1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

              Mormon Mafia?

              1. John   11 years ago

                I didn't think there was such a thing, but Harry Reid seems to be proving me wrong. Every other group has a mafia. Hell if the Amish have one why wouldn't the Mormons? And if anyone is a front for the Mormon Mafia, it is Harry Reid.

                1. Corning   11 years ago

                  Mormons are almost all conservatives.

                  Would not be surprised if most Mormons in NV did not vote for him.

            2. Virginian   11 years ago

              Who in the hell keeps VOTING for him?

              It's not who votes that counts, it's who counts the votes. The Reids own Clark County. Something like 75% of the people in Nevada live in Clark County. Reid can do whatever he wants, there's no chance he loses an election.

              1. Aloysious   11 years ago

                ^ding. Right on the money.

              2. WTF   11 years ago

                A character in the film Casino ("Senator Harrison Roberts") is based on real-life Latter-day Saint politician Senator Harry Reid, who served as a Nevada state senator at the time period depicted in "Casino,

                1. John   11 years ago

                  I thought of that movie when this subject came up. I loved Joe Bob Briggs as the hick fuck up employee.

                  "How did you not know you were being scammed after the second jackpot? The odds of that are trillions to one. It can't happen"

                  "Well sir, somebody has to win".

        2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

          Yes. Ignorance is not a defense but for these guys it is.

          Frightening as it is disturbing as it is sad.

  26. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    it became clear that the DOJ misled FISA court Judge Reggie Walton

    Imposserous.

  27. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    1 in 5 Children Live in Poverty in U.S.

    http://cnsnews.com/news/articl.....poverty-us
    That's what happens when you define poverty as the bottom quintile. Duh.

    1. Virginian   11 years ago

      Yep. I once had a really fun time trying to explain to a prog that if we define poverty as "the ten percent of a group with the fewest money" then you can find "poverty" in a room full of CEOs.

    2. Steve G   11 years ago

      The thresholds reflect crude estimates of the amount of money individuals or families, of various size and composition, need per year to purchase a basket of goods and services deemed as 'minimally adequate,' according to the living standards of the early 1960s

      Although I would question the validity of living standards of the 1960s and how much of those in poverty receive govt food assistance, I'm not seeing where they define poverty by the bottom quintile. I miss something?

      1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

        I was being semi-sarcastic.

        1. Steve G   11 years ago

          Rog..

          *closes secret service job application tab*

          1. Agammamon   11 years ago

            Steve man, the good news is that the Secret Service has new software to help people like you. SO open up that application again and get ready to start your new life as an agent of oppression!

    3. The Original Jason   11 years ago

      No matter how many minimum wage increases we pass and increases in welfare we institute, 1 in 5 Americans are still in the bottom quintile!

  28. DEG   11 years ago

    CNN/Money article on the wealthy buying second citizenships or buying permanent residencies. Comments are what you would expect for CNN/Money.

    http://money.cnn.com/2014/06/0.....ce=cnn_bin

  29. Virginian   11 years ago

    http://www.nationalreview.com/.....na-johnson

    MetroCon Weekly thinks this is a controversial statement:

    In one exchange, McDaniel discussed the possibility of paying reparations to the descendants of slaves. "If they pass reparations, and my taxes are going up, I ain't paying taxes,"

    1. John   11 years ago

      In some quarters I suppose it is. But Progs might want to consider that statement. I would imagine McDaniel is not the only guy who thinks that. Do Progs really want millions of Americans saying fuck you, I am not paying? I don't think that will work out so well for them.

      1. Virginian   11 years ago

        In some quarters I suppose it is.

        Which was my point. The only places "slave reparations" are taken as a serious policy idea is in retarded leftist enclaves. The vast majority of the country thinks it's crazy. NR wringing their manicured hands as though that's a controversial position to take shows the Beltway Bubble for what it is.

        1. John   11 years ago

          I feel pretty confident in saying that we will never have slavery reparations in this country short of some kind of left wing dictatorship doing it. I can't understand for the life of me why the Left, when they are on the run anyway, want to bring it up. It is a dead loser. Worse, it is nothing but an invitation for Hispanics to vote Republicans. I can't imagine any support for reparations in the Hispanic community.

          They really have gone insane.

          1. R C Dean   11 years ago

            I feel pretty confident in saying that we will never have slavery reparations in this country short of some kind of left wing dictatorship doing it.

            Sometime in Obama's third term, then?

            1. John   11 years ago

              Yes RC, maybe then.

            2. Cdr Lytton   11 years ago

              The 22nd only says he can't be elected to more than two terms. Nothing in there about serving a third (or more) term.

              1. John   11 years ago

                And the 22nd can be waived just like any other law.

      2. robc   11 years ago

        Another reason progs hate small business that I never considered. Self employed can more easily practice tax avoision. Due to withholding, employees cant.

        1. John   11 years ago

          Yup. It is also why they hate cash so much. Progs are in love with the idea of a "cashless society". Without cash, everyone has to depend on the banks, which the Progs know they can control.

          1. Virginian   11 years ago

            And why they're going apeshit over BitCoin. It scares the hell out of them.

            1. John   11 years ago

              They don't give a shit about drug dealers and terrorists using it. They are terrified of people really being able to go Gault and check out of the regular economy. If that ever happens, they are fucked. Like the movie says "no bucks, no Buck Rodgers".

              1. Virginian   11 years ago

                Especially with more and more people going to an ad hoc employment model. Like me. A little part time work, a little work for cash, a little tutoring, a little bit of this and that, etc. Of course I always file every dime of income, like a good citizen does. But not all are so honest.

      3. lap83   11 years ago

        They probably assume only racist teabaggers wouldn't pay, so they'd finally have an excuse to throw them in jail.

      4. The Original Jason   11 years ago

        It worked out okay for FDR...

    2. Drake   11 years ago

      Many of my Irish and English ancestors were slaves. How much do I get?

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        New Chains.

  30. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    This morning, on Bloomberg, they asked the question, "Is China better off now than they were before Tienanmen Square?"

    What a headscratcher.

  31. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    I once had a really fun time trying to explain to a prog that if we define poverty as "the ten percent of a group with the fewest money" then you can find "poverty" in a room full of CEOs.

    For every winner there must be one or more losers.

    THE SUM IS ALWAYS ZERO.

    1. waffles   11 years ago

      But then they extend that same line of thinking to wealth. The sum is always zero, right? So how much poverty can we alleviate with all the wealth in that room full of CEOs?

  32. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    Full Disclosure: Lefty Catholics hold an anti-libertarian conference in Washington DC and a top Vatican cardinal is a keynote speaker

    http://iprcua.com/2014/06/03/e.....tarianism/

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      More:

      http://ncronline.org/blogs/dis.....rtarianism

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      The guest speaker list says more than anything else:

      Richard Trumka, AFL-CIO
      Mark Shields
      Maria Elena Durazo, Los Angeles Federation of Labor, Latinos, Labor & Solidarity

      The Catholic Church just wants to be included as part of the power structure.

      1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

        It's lefty American Catholics with a boost from a Vatican official.

        I thought I'd acknowledge it so nobody could spring it on me later.

    3. John   11 years ago

      Sometimes I get a soft spot for the Catholic Church. They haven't sold out in many ways nearly as much as the main line Protestant Churches have. Then I see things like this that remind me why I will never be a Catholic.

      1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

        Don't forget Tom Woods and the Acton Institute.

        In his day, Fr. John Courtney Murray was suspected by the higher-ups, until at Vatican II they turned to him for theological advice.

        They haven't made a declaration against free-market ideas. They haven't even censored Woods and the others they way did Murray.

        So let's not jump to conclusions about what the Church will end up deciding. It's still open to debate.

        1. EDG reppin' LBC   11 years ago

          Don't forget this guy: Fr. Thomas J. Hagerty.

        2. John   11 years ago

          I think if I ever decided that I just had to join a church, I might do the Eastern Orthodox. Despite a ton of effort, I still don't fully understand the split between them and the Catholics regarding the nature of Christ and I agree with them about the Bishop of Rome just being another Bishop.

          1. Whahappan?   11 years ago

            Plus you can get shit-faced at church events!

            1. John   11 years ago

              There is that.

          2. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

            I suspect that the theological quarrels were often secondary to political rivalries and bitterness.

            And while of course you'll find Orthodox hard-liners whose Catholic-baiting makes Ian Paisley look mild, on the other hand lots of Orthodox and Catholics have kept the lines of communication open...and the Pope and the Orthodox Patriarch recently got together in Jerusalem.

            1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

              http://myocn.net/live-ecumenic.....sepulcher/

  33. Jensen   11 years ago

    Only possible way a government funded sarcasm detector would go.

    Also, why the hell does Canada want a military presence of several dozen guys in Eastern Europe?

    1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      Because several dozen Canukistani berzerkers are worth their number in tanks.

      1. gimmeasammich   11 years ago

        +1 Leo Major

        http://www.badassoftheweek.com.....8548116863

    2. WTF   11 years ago

      How else will NATO beat the Russkis at hockey?

    3. DontShootMe   11 years ago

      OMG, Canada is sending over half their armed forces to Eastern Europe?

    4. Corning   11 years ago

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3CzYw5-qdA

  34. Drake   11 years ago

    40th Anniversary of 10-Cent Beer night.

    http://fox8.com/2014/06/04/10-.....ars-later/

    1. John   11 years ago

      When I was living in San Antonio, one of the local radio guys told the story of some Spurs game in the early 80s he attended. It was ten cent beer night and before the days when they cut off beer after the third quarter. The game ended up being one of the longest NBA games ever played. It went something like four overtimes. He said he has never seen so many drunk people in his life and never been as drunk himself before or since.

  35. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    "If they pass reparations, and my taxes are going up, I ain't paying taxes,"

    Unfortunately, nobody sys, "I they raise my taxes to hire more cops to terrorize the city, I ain't gonna pay."

    1. Virginian   11 years ago

      That's simple self preservation.

  36. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Uber driver 'kidnapped drunk woman and took her to motel planning to sexually assault her'

    Woman, 26, was picked up from a nightclub in West Hollywood on Sunday
    But when she woke the next day she was in a motel room 17 miles away
    Police found Frederick Dencer, 32, still in the room after she dialled 911
    Uber driver arrested on suspicion of kidnap for purpose of sexual assault
    Police: 'There was some fondling through her clothes... She said no'
    Car service app launched in 2010 and is thought to give 800,000 rides a week

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....t-her.html
    See? See? There's proof that these non-traditional taxi services must be shut down! See?

    1. Steve G   11 years ago

      picked up from nightclub..woke the next day. There seems to be a LOT of missing data there lady. Can ruffies be absorbed from a car seat through osmosis?

      1. db   11 years ago

        Regardless, even if she did do something willingly, the driver would have to have been a complete and utter moron to.do.anything but take her to her stated destination. Even.if.she insisted, he would be in.breach of.simple common sense to have engaged in any sexual.activity.with her.

        If I were an Uber or Lyft driver, I don't care.if it were Emily Deschanel coming on to.me, I would have absolutely nothing.to do with her sexually in conjunction.with our professional transportation arrangement. The risks are.simply too high.

        1. John   11 years ago

          I am pretty sure I would risk prison for a night with either of the Deschanel sisters, but that is just my poor impulse control. Otherwise, you make a good point. Using Uber to pick up women is a very bad idea.

    2. Drake   11 years ago

      "But when she woke..."

      There seems to be a serious gape in her story. If I got really drunk, left a bar and then told the police "but when I woke..." they would have a great laugh.

      1. Steve G   11 years ago

        lol, you said gape

        1. Drake   11 years ago

          Oh damn! That might have been the case.

    3. widget   11 years ago

      Waking up in a motel room in Panorama City with a half-naked man es no bueno. Running to the 7/11 and calling 911 only compounds the problem.

  37. Warty   11 years ago

    Oh, CPA, I saw your pullups question long after that thread died. You should be concerned, because if you can't do pullups, it means you're weak, fat, or injured, none of which are good. So, yeah, get less weak and/or get less fat. And you know my advice about that.

    1. John   11 years ago

      I can do a few pullups, but I am definitely weak and fat. But I can do pushups pretty well and can squat and dead lift a pretty good amount of weight. So there is that. But I haven't been good at pullups since I was in high school and weighed about 170 lbs and could crank out about 20 of them.

      1. Warty   11 years ago

        The best thing I've ever found to increase my pullups ability is just to do a shitload of them all the time. Like, set up a pullup bar in a doorway and do 5 every time you walk through that door. When you do 100+ in a day you start noticing good things.

        1. John   11 years ago

          Those assisted pullup machines are pretty good too. If there was one home exercise machine I would like to buy, it is one of those. You can play with the assist and just crank them out and get stronger and stronger. When I get out of the military and don't have to give a shit about doing pushups and situps and running anymore, I think I might buy one of those and a really good elliptical for cardio work and call it a day.

  38. Warty   11 years ago

    Mastodon

  39. Sevo   11 years ago

    Amazon must be forced to sell goods, since maker of goods makes "art":

    "Hachette is in business to make money, of course, but it's also in business to make art."
    http://www.sfgate.com/entertai.....526140.php

    It's listed under "entertainment" but the slimeball makes the same claims as Stewart; he's a humorist when he gets caught BSing, when he gets away with it, he's a serious critic!

    1. John   11 years ago

      So if Amazon decided that it wasn't going to sell books by authors it deemed "homophobic" like Orson Scott Card or Michelle Malkin, I am sure the SF Gate would be outraged. Right?

      1. widget   11 years ago

        It's worse than that.

        http://twain.lib.virginia.edu/.....edman.html

      2. Sevo   11 years ago

        John,
        The Chron's response to the O-care disaster was to bury short articles and run edi-cartoons about how if the GOP just quit thinking bad thoughts, everything would be fine.
        This morning, the coverage of the swapped guy was an editorial saying Obo prolly blew it. NOTHING else.

        1. John   11 years ago

          When even they have to admit Obama fucked up, the Bergdahl thing must be an epic disaster.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      Fucking artists

  40. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    OW, my head!

    A woman has died from injuries she suffered when she walked into a spinning airplane propeller at a southwest Ohio skydiving business.

    Twenty-four-year-old Sarah Rhoads died Tuesday at a Dayton hospital, where she had been flown after Sunday's accident in Middletown. Authorities said she suffered severe head injuries.

    She had been office manager for three years at Start Skydiving. It operates near Middletown Regional Airport.

    Owner John Hart says it's the first time the business has had such an accident. He says it can be difficult to see fast-spinning propeller blades.

    Hart said Rhoads was like family and called the accident the "worst nightmare of my life," WHIO.com reported.

    "It's hard," he said. He told the station that he suspects she walked out to the Nouvel Air airplane to see if the pilot needed any food.

    The Federal Aviation Administration says it will investigate the accident.

    Gene Newsome, a manager at the business who was vacationing during the accident, described Rhoads as an employee who "worked at 100 miles per hour."

    "She was awesome," he told FoxNews.com

    1. Virginian   11 years ago

      Authorities said she suffered severe head injuries.

      Walked into a spinning prop? I bet. I'm surprised she even made it to the hospital.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      I knew someone who got hit by a prop. He was a retired Air Force flight instructor and tough as nails. The prop opened his back shoulder up like a huge flap of meat and he still drove himself to the hospital while his buddy puked.

      Unfortunately, he got seriously screwed up while testing a float plane in Canada. Fuel blockage cut the engine while he was at low altitude and he went into the trees. He survived, but lost an eye and broke his back in multiple places.

    3. John   11 years ago

      I have no idea if this is true, but when I was a kid a friend of my father's took me up in his Cessna. He told me that if you stair at a moving propeller too long you can get hypnotized and walk right into it and that there are cases reasonably often where people do just that.

      It never maid sense to me, but the guy was a former Marine F4 pilot and had been flying his own plane for ever 20 years at that point. Maybe he was just trying to scare the kid into staying the hell out of the prop. But he seemed serious and certainly knew what he was talking about otherwise.

      1. tarran   11 years ago

        It is a true phenomenon. As a motorcyclist you are probably aware of the phenomenon of 'Target Fixation'.

        1. John   11 years ago

          Hypnotism is an odd thing. But everyone is unacceptable to it in some circumstances.

          1. tarran   11 years ago

            Dude!

            That's not even a homonym! WTF?!?

            1. John   11 years ago

              I had a root canal yesterday. The mind is a bit goofy today. Not sure where that came from.

            2. db   11 years ago

              John + spellcheck = chaos

              1. Slammer   11 years ago

                John's priceless

          2. lap83   11 years ago

            I like the implication of hypnotism being a sentient being who becomes easily displeased with humans.

        2. JW   11 years ago

          It is a true phenomenon. As a motorcyclist you are probably aware of the phenomenon of 'Target Fixation'.

          There's a telephone pole in Annapolis, near Church Circle, that almost had my name on it. My bike just slid up on the low curb, like some kind of black magic, and I had to force myself to look away to miss it.

          I salute that pole every time I drive by it.

      2. db   11 years ago

        I totally want to paint my plane's prop with a spiral hypnopattern now.

    4. db   11 years ago

      Spinning props are really hard to see, and people get hit by them.occasionally, but I wonder how people can just miss the engine and blade pass noise. It has to just be an effect of the brain's unconscious path-selection algorithms looking for most efficient paths and seeing no obvious obstacle, regardless of other.sensory.inputs.

      It is possibly why "body positioning" is commonly a major.factor in.industrial accidents.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

        People just forget their environment. Props don't look like a drooling bear waiting to rip your head off. After being around them for a while, you forget how dangerous they are.

        Tail rotors are probably the worst.

    5. Warty   11 years ago

      There was a model who did this a couple years ago. And if you read WW2 pilots' accounts, you hear about this happening occasionally. I remember one B-24 pilot writing about the Ploesti raid, which started out with the bad omen of the squadron's mascot dog running out on the runway and being bisected by a propeller.

      1. John   11 years ago

        The other thing that will happen is once in a while a ground crew will walk too close to a jet with wing mounted engines and get sucked in. It is basically like being fed through a giant food processor.

        One of the most dangerous jobs in the world is the guys who work on the decks of an aircraft carrier. They are constantly a few steps away from being julienned alive.

        1. The Original Jason   11 years ago

          Guy gets sucked into jet engine aboard aircraft carrier and lives

          He wasn't in front of the engine?

          And someone not so lucky (seriously NSFW and graphic)

          (They're going to have to line up the airport crew and see who's missing to identify the remains?)

    6. Sevo   11 years ago

      "A woman has died from injuries she suffered when she walked into a spinning airplane propeller at a southwest Ohio skydiving business."

      If you're ever around WWII aircraft, you'll notice all the multis have big yellow stripes on the fuselage.
      If someone doesn't know why they're there, they shouldn't be near the plane.

    7. Agammamon   11 years ago

      . . . described Rhoads as an employee who "worked at 100 miles per hour."

      She died like she lived.

  41. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    if you can't do pullups, it means you're weak, fat, or injured

    My shoulders are fucked. I probably couldn't do a pullup if somebody was shooting at me.

    1. Warty   11 years ago

      Fucked shoulders are terrible. Probably only a fucked back is worse.

      1. John   11 years ago

        Back is the worst but having fucked up legs sucks too. You don't realize how much your walk and stand until it hurts to do so.

        As far as short term injuries, the worst I ever had was a severely bruised tailbone once in high school. It was horrible. The only time I was only in bad pain versus horrible almost unbearable pain was laying flat on my stomach. Any other position or movement was torture.

        1. Warty   11 years ago

          Fucked up legs are awful, but hip and knee replacements are pretty easy nowadays. There's not really a whole lot they can do for a truly fucked-up shoulder.

          I herniated a disk once when I was younger, and that was pretty bad. Making my back stronger pretty much did away with most of the pain and sciatica, but still. That sucked.

          1. tarran   11 years ago

            There's not really a whole lot they can do for a truly fucked-up shoulder.

            Which is why the way movies treat a gunshot wound to the shoulder so cavalierly as a short term partially incapactiating injury rather than a life changing event annoys the piss out of me.

            1. John   11 years ago

              And no one ever goes into shock in the movies. When someone is shot anywhere on their body, one of the biggest initial dangers is their bodies going into shock. The closest I ever came to seeing someone actually die was a guy who was shot in the hand and went into shock before the medics got there. He made it, but it was a hell of a lot closer call than you would ever think being shot in the hand would be.

              1. db   11 years ago

                I was helping a friend a few weeks ago.and.another helper shot himself through the hand with a nail gun. He went into pretty much immediate shock.

                1. John   11 years ago

                  Damn, that must have been brutal. I think I would rather get shot than take a nail thought the hand. Ouch.

                  1. Slammer   11 years ago

                    Was his name Jes?s?

                  2. db   11 years ago

                    I wasn't actually there when.it happened, we were driving back from the.old.location to the new one.where.it.happened. but we saw him shortly after the EMTs showed.up and he was looking bad.

                    1. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

                      I took a nail through the foot, working concrete, stepped on a form, went all the way through boot and out the other side. It wasn't the worst thing that ever happened to me, certainly way better than getting shot I imagine.

                    2. John   11 years ago

                      I am not so sure about that Snark. Unless the bullet tumbles or its a hollow point, it will go in one side and out the other and leaves a smaller hole than that nail did.

          2. John   11 years ago

            Strength is the best thing you can do for your back. I had a doctor tell me once that the reason why a muscle spasms is because it is weak. The way to stop it from doing that is make it stronger.

          3. John   11 years ago

            The other thing about having a fucked up anything is that it causes you to change your gate and movement which then injures other parts of your body. You see this all of the time in athletes who try to come back too early from an injury. They often don't re-injure the initial injury but instead create a new injury because their body is compensating for the old one.

        2. db   11 years ago

          Yeah, coccyx injuries are brutal. There is nothing to do other than wait them out.

      2. Steve G   11 years ago

        Shoulders (like knees/backs) are remarkably (non-surgically) fixable...
        http://breakingmuscle.com/inte.....kettlebell

        I personally get great results from wall-walks and "self-wheelbarrows" with those ab wheels you can strap your feet into and hand-walk out and back 25 yds. There's much goodness in stablizer work around the shoulder joint.

        1. Warty   11 years ago

          Sure, you can fix most joints by strengthening the muscle around it. Unless we're talking about a bone or cartilage injury. If you have bone spurs and no cartilage left in your shoulder, stabilizer work isn't going to do a whole lot for you.

          1. Steve G   11 years ago

            Well, yeah, but a lot of people I've worked with are in the category of Martone: they think their {pick a joint} is too far gone, but really they need to skip the compound lifts and/or bodybuilding lifts and do stabilization work first. Even I thought my knees and back were beyond help 6 yrs ago...until I learned to squat correctly and reverse 35 years of misuse.

  42. Agammamon   11 years ago

    According to contract documents, the Secret Service is purchasing software that can detect sarcasm on the Internet. Great idea guys!

    Look, we have super-powerful *government* software that detects sarcasm and it didn't send up an alert - therefore he *must* have been serious.

  43. BigT   11 years ago

    Faux Activism: Recruiting Anti-Chevron Protesters for $85 a Head

    Several dozen demonstrators gathered outside the Permian Basin Petroleum Museum in Midland to condemn Chevron. To fill out the ranks of the demonstration, a Los Angeles-based production company offered local residents $85 apiece to serve as what the firm described in a recruiting e-mail as "extras/background people."

    Julieta Gilbert, executive producer of DFLA Films, said in the e-mail that the company "need to get a group of people to help us document this event. ? We will pay each one of them $85. They will be there for a couple of hours (8am to 12 pm). We need ethically [sic] diverse people."

    http://mobile.businessweek.com.....-85-a-head

    1. Sevo   11 years ago

      "extras/background people."

      Uh, "SHILLS"; let's be honest.

    2. Libertarian   11 years ago

      Are we sure that that "sic" belongs there?

    3. Agammamon   11 years ago

      We need ethically [sic] diverse people.

      That 'ethically' wasn't a mistake.

  44. Alan Vanneman   11 years ago

    Never listed as a POW? According to the link "Reason" provided, that's because the Pentagon doesn't do that any more. Instead, he was listed as "missing/captured."

    1. Warty   11 years ago

      ALAN VANNEMAN

    2. widget   11 years ago

      I believe the period in "missing/captured." should go after the ending quotation mark in this case.

  45. trshmnster the terrible   11 years ago

    I just got word from the alma mater that they're looking to renovate one of the end zones of the football stadium and put in premium seating (suites and other similar stuff). Who in the heck would buy a friggin end zone suite? That's like the worst view in the entire stadium!

    1. Slammer   11 years ago

      You're assuming people who buy luxury suites actually watch the games.

    2. John   11 years ago

      Not in a million years. I don't understand how they sell out most NFL games. Give me a good seat between the 20s and not too high, sure I would love to go. But give me an end zone or one of the nose bleed seats, and I wouldn't go if you gave me the tickets. I would rather watch it at home in high def. Yet, people continue to buy those sorts of seats for big money. I don't get it.

      1. db   11 years ago

        It's where they take clients to impress them and transact business. They don't give a rat's sphincter about th3 game.

        1. John   11 years ago

          Yeah. I would be a bad client because I would not be impressed with a luxury box that gave me a shitty view of the game. But I am actually a fan of football, something that seems to be rare these days.

      2. Rhywun   11 years ago

        At least in soccer that's where the Ultras go, if one is into that sort of thing. Otherwise ITA.

        1. John   11 years ago

          I have friends who go to the Redskins games and they tell me the crowd has gotten increasingly rough. The only people they can sell the cheap seats too are people who go there to drink and cause trouble.

          1. Rhywun   11 years ago

            The only people they can sell the cheap seats too are people who go there to drink and cause trouble.

            So it's like soccer, then.

    3. B.P.   11 years ago

      Ha. So you get e-mails from the University of Colorado, too? Season ticket holder?

  46. John   11 years ago

    They don't have a Jennifer or a Bailey. And this is one of the better reasons to hate them.

  47. Cdr Lytton   11 years ago

    Jen Psaki

    (but not as smart as Jennifer)

  48. Shmenge   11 years ago

    Bailey Jennifer

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