A.M. Links: Rand Paul Wants Drone Killing Memos Released, CHIP Saves a Chihuahua, Separatists Claim Victory for Independence in East Ukraine Vote


  • until we meet again

    In a New York Times op-ed, Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) says he will fight the nomination to a federal judgeship of David Barron, who wrote at least two of several Department of Justice memos on the legality of extrajudicial killings, until Barron "frankly discusses his opinions" with the Senate.

  • Visiting New Hampshire for the first time since the 2012 election, Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) says he's ready to be president and that if he decides to run he won't seek a second term in the senate.
  • Three years after a magnitude 5.8 earthquake hit the nation's capital, the Washington Monument is open again.
  • Pro-Russian separatists in Donetsk, Ukraine held a vote seeking approval for an "Act of Independence" by the self-styled People's Republic of Donetsk and say 89 percent voted in favor of it.
  • Running for re-election, Lithuania's incumbent president Dalia Grybauskaite asked for loyalty ahead of the run-off round of voting on May 25.
  • Here's a story about the California Highway Patrol and a dog that ends with everyone getting home safe.
  • Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling does an interview and apologizes.

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  1. Hello.

    1. Isn’t “Hello” being the first comment on the AM links one of the signs of the Apocalypse?

      Anyway, hello.

      1. Time Zonist.

        1. Check your Time Privilege!

  2. Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling does an interview and apologizes.

    More Sterling. MORE STERLING.

    1. Lebron wants them out of the league!

      Meanwhile, anti-gay and cracker slurs are a-okay, because NBA black.


    2. I’m still waiting for Cliven Bundy, John Derbyshire, Steve Sailer, and Charles Murray to apologize to the diversity gods.

      Tighten the thumb screws.

      1. I’m still waiting for the diversity gods to be cast down and forgotten, their worshippers slaughtered on the altar of practicality.

        1. Please, THIS.

    3. I hope the wife sues and ties it up in a long painful court battle. It is not her fault her husband is a doofus. Why should she have to sell her share?

      1. Yes, I love the supposed quotes from the players who say they will not play for any team owned by a Sterling. That’s fine. A few of you might get picked up by other teams. The rest can try your luck in Europe. Anyone who wants a paycheck can play. The hubris with these guys is amazing.

        1. I have lost a ton of respect for Doc Rivers over this. He wouldn’t say if he would be okay playing for the wife. He didn’t even have the balls to just come out and say it and instead stuck it on the players. I would have loved it if a reporter had asked him how many generations the “blood sin of Sterling” should extend. Should Sterlings grandchildren be allowed in the NBA? Great grandchildren?

      2. So Mrs. Sterling, your husband raised an objection, during a private telephone conversation, to having his rent-a-mistress show up at his place of business with negro and mulatto men at her side.

        No one can write an episode of Law of Order this juicy.

        1. On top of that they are in the process of divorcing. She is only still legally married to him because they can’t work out t he business details of the split. Yet, she is responsible for what this clown says to his mistress?

  3. America on the Move Becomes Stay-at-Home Nation for Millennials

    Ryan Yang could have taken a job in a New Jersey DNA sequencing laboratory after graduating from college last year. Instead, the 23-year-old lives with his family in Queens, New York, still unemployed and searching.

    With the expense of commuting or relocating, “I thought about it and it just didn’t seem right,” said Yang, a biology major who rejected the job 50 miles away in Piscataway to look for opportunities closer to home. “If I was previously living in New Jersey, I think I would have taken that job in a heartbeat.”

    Yang belongs to the age group, adults under 35, that’s traditionally the most mobile part of an American work force constantly on the move since the 19th century. Now, that’s changing as members of the millennial generation, the estimated 85 million born from 1981 through 2000, prove less restless than their forebears. The standstill may be holding back recovery in the labor and housing markets.

    1. Were I his parents, I would have booted him out the door the second I found out he turned the job down.

      1. “But you *said* I’d always have a home here!”

        *** locks self in room ***

        1. Home yes, room, no.

        2. I have never once said that to my kids.

          1. Whoa. Better hope CPS doesn’t get wind of that.

        3. My parents made it very clear that I was welcome at home, but if I moved more than one bag in, I was to find a job and pay rent. They hinted that 20% of whatever I made working full time at the local oil change/fast food/grocery store would be fine while I was looking for a forever job.

    2. OMFG. Little shit.

      Soooo glad I don’t have children.

      1. Well, who raised him?

          1. A village OF duh?

            Welcome to Village of Derp – incorporated, 2009?

            1. Either way, parents or the village, asshole kids didn’t raise themselves.

    3. The eldest of my brood had been playing with fire by holding out for a law intership in our home city and — he just got his dream position with a small prestigious firm here. He’ll be making what I make. I’m hoping to ride him to early retirement.

      1. I moved for a job, and the upshot is no one I left behind can try to mooch off of me!

        1. Oh, i’m sure the moochers can find you if need be!

          1. But that would take work, and they hate work, so it’s been effective at keeping them at bay for years now.

      2. He’ll be working much much harder than I would ever have considered doing, but still.

    4. So are these “Millennials” more mama’s boys (or girls) who can’t stand to be away from their families or children who don’t understand life isn’t perfectly laid out like you plan? I’m moving to NYC later this summer, not because I want to leave my family and friends or live in an uber prog city, but because it’s a good opportunity for me. Then again, I’m really more Gen X than Millenial.

      SLD: Collectivizing people, especially by DOB, is stupid.

      1. There’s been a major trend of kids moving back in with their parents after college because of the shitty economy. And apparently they don’t want to leave.

        1. Right, I understand moving back in because of no job. I am referring to staying there because you don’t want to change cities, even when there are no jobs you’re qualified for in your home city and/or people are offering you jobs in another. What makes people think that’s a desirable path? When you’re young is the best time to move around and experience different cities, IMO.

          1. Absolutely. I got a friend who’s 24, his degree is in sports management, he’s got some good experience, so he’s had offers. But nothing in town obviously, because that’s not the way the business works. You gotta chase the jobs in that field. But he doesn’t want to leave town. So he’s working a couple part time jobs and living at home.

    5. Yup. He’s out of my house if he’s stupid enough to turn that down. Those parents are morons.

  4. Daily Mail’s story of the cop saving the dog.
    From the comments:
    Arlene La Hera, Stuart, United States, 9 minutes ago
    We should round up all the good and decent police officers across the country, rent a small hall, and throw a party for them.

    1. My VFW hall could easily do the trick!

  5. Three years after a magnitude 5.8 earthquake hit the nation’s capital, the Washington Monument is open again.

    The Clinton Memorial found its Viagra.

  6. Was the CHIP Eric Estrada?

    1. Whenever I hear that name spoken, to my ear it sounds like Erica Strada.

  7. Canadian Man Faces Fines For Patching Up Potholes

    “I just got fed up because they had been here for quite some time and nobody looked like they were doing anything.”

    Defazio took matters into his own hands and fixed the potholes himself last Saturday. Locals, he said, were grateful.

    “I’ve had numerous people saying, ‘What you did was a good thing.’ I’ve never had anybody saying it was a bad thing,” he said.

    On Wednesday, however, the city’s deputy commissioner of transportation and environment services, Kevin Rice, called Defazio to tell him he’d broken the law and could face a fine.

    1. “How dare you make the community a better place and make the government look bad!”

    2. That’s what the daycare inspectors tell me: It ‘could happen’ whenever I challenge them to produce evidence for whatever it was they’re protecting society from. They never have an answer.

      But hey, we’re ‘anti-science’ and it comes from Top people so I’m seen as a shit disturber or…extremist…for being skeptical and asking for information.

    3. I hope he saved some road tar that he and the grateful locals could use on “deputy commissioner of transportation and environment services, Kevin Rice”

      #$%&ing; apparatchik.

    4. Was Defazio in cahoots with Matt Feeney?

      1. Oh, very nice.

        1. Give me any chance, I’ll take it.

    5. Rice told Defazio that he would have to cover the cost of a city crew coming to remove the gravel.

      Niiice. We can’t be arsed to come out and fix the damn potholes, but we got plenty of resources for digging them back out.

      The fact that a bureaucrat can pull this kind of shit and not find himself in the unemployment line within a week tells you everything you need to know about how well the system works.

  8. When You’re (nearly) Gone! Avril Lavigne comes close to losing her bikini bottoms as she frolics in the sea in Mexico on a break from her tour


    1. That girl is actually pretty cute, too bad she went and shitted up her porcelain skin with a bunch of ugly, trashy tats.

      Her music sucks.

  9. Newly-discovered active volcano could erupt underneath ice in Antarctica and add to effects of global warming, say scientists
    Researchers discover volcano underneath surface of the ice
    Volcanic activity recorded around 30 miles from existing volcano
    Burst of seismic activity found in January 2010 and March 2011
    Sub-glacial eruption could melt ice and speed up rate of ice sheet loss


    1. The same ice sheet loss that trapped two icebreakers in a row?

      1. That’s really no more evidence against global warming than a big hurricane is evidence for it.

        1. Is that not belied by the claim “and add to effects of global warming”?

    2. I presume they’ve tried to claim earthquakes are caused by “global warming” too?

      1. Nonsense, it’s hydrofracking, which also contributes to global warming in their book.

      2. Actually, yes they have…


    3. This is stupid. How can you blame a volcano on capitalism?

      1. Well, you *certainly* can’t blame it on *communism*, can you?

    4. Doesn’t increased vulcanism coincide with periods of cooling? I can’t keep this shit straight anymore.

      1. That would be “climate disruption” – totally different, in the same way.

        1. “AGW” – I am afraid your 9th edition of Newspeak is out of date.

          “Climate Change” – That would have worked, your 10th edition of Newspeak, but two weeks ago we changed to the 11th edition.

          “Climate Disruption” – plus good.

    5. While Humbert and her colleagues did not draw direct connections between this week’s calving event and climate change, other scientists, including marine geologists at the British Antarctic Survey, are investigating whether global warming is thinning Antarctica’s ice sheets and speeding up the glacier’s retreat.

      Yet, the flow of the Pine Island Glacier may be driven by other factors, Humbert said. The glacier flows to the Amundsen Sea at a rate of about 2.5 miles (4 km) per year. She says whether the flow speeds up or slows down is based more on changing wind directions in the Amundsen Sea, and less by rising air temperatures.

      “The wind now brings warm sea water beneath the shelf ice,” Humbert said. “Over time, this process means that the shelf ice melts from below, primarily at the so-called grounding line, the critical transition to the land ice.”

      Still, if the glacier’s flow speeds up, it could have serious consequences, the researchers said. The Pine Island Glacier currently acts as a plug, holding back part of the immense West Antarctic Ice Sheet whose melting ice contributes to rising sea levels.

      Buttplug is just a big rectum shaped icicle?

      1. It’s hilarious that these people think that the Earth is just going to stay exactly the same as they think they’ve known it despite it never having done so. Even the entirety of recorded history is an insignificant period in the history of the planet and its climate.

        1. They’re not even thinking that far.

          It’s all circular reasoning.

          The premise is that human activity is harming the planet, and the conclusion is that human activity is harming the planet.

          They don’t think any further than that.

  10. …until Barron “frankly discusses his opinions” with the Senate.

    If every confirmation is held up by candidates refusing to give substantive answers then nothing will get done.

    1. …until Barron “frankly discusses his opinions” with the Senate.

      His memos should answer any questions you have. Not fit to sit on a court.

    2. Go on …

  11. Florida Man never seems to learn:

    Florida man tries to have sex with beer can, ends up in hospital.

    The unnamed and rather embarrassed man from Barto reports to have been out in the town trying to find a lady friend to mate with, when he came home on his own, on Wednesday.

    The Florida man said that he was “extremely horny”. That’s when he grabbed an empty beer can, and began to “try to make love to it”.

    It was “about 2 pumps in” that he felt water dripping off of his private area, and he looked down to find that it was blood.

    1. I love you Natty Light!

    2. I just…he really…I mean…

      *shakes head and goes back to coffee and the rest of H&R*

    3. the hospital expects he will have a full recovery within a few weeks.

      How unfortunate.

    4. His name didn’t happen to be Theon did it?

      1. His name is Reek.

    5. Transplant!

  12. Man gets official warning from state for taking moose video

    A state Fish and Wildlife officer issued a written warning to a man who drove while his wife shot video of a moose running through a Wenatchee neighborhood.

    Enforcement Officer Graham Grant told The Wenatchee World the department wants to make a statement that it’s unlawful to do anything to harass a moose.

    He says the moose was obviously in distress last weekend and ran toward a parking lot and traffic because the car was following it.

    1. “A M??se once bit my sister … No realli! She was Karving her initials on the m??se with the sharpened …”

  13. Visiting New Hampshire for the first time since the 2012 election, Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) says he’s ready to be president…

    Of New Hampshire?

    1. I would quit my job today and move to New Hampshire if they seceded.

  14. CHIP Saves a Chihuahua

    and HORTON Hears a Who.

    1. I think they did it because mutant rat-dogs piss me off.

      1. Don’t you dare speak of “The Precious” that way!

    2. Am I the only one who thinks that entire photo looks just a bit staged?

  15. Three years after a magnitude 5.8 earthquake hit the nation’s capital, the Washington Monument is open again.

    Let’s hear it for that good old American “Can Do” spirit!

    1. The Natty Cathedral’s spires are still closed and scaffolded.

      1. Hope they get that fixed. That is actually a better view of the city than from the Monument.

        1. My ex’s brother and father worked there (stone carvers), so I got a really great tour a few years back from the brother. We went all the way up, saw the bell choir practice room – the whole schtick. It was really cool.

          1. It is a beautiful Cathedral. The only thing it lacks that the European ones have is a huge collection of paintings sculptures to go in it. It seems a bit sparse on the inside. I still like it. And they at least up until a couple of years ago had a gorgeous tuxedo cat that had taken up residence in the cathedral and gardens. She has her own set of post cards they sell at the book store.

    2. Great, now we can have a budget battle and the first thing the government will close is the Washington Monument as is traditional.

  16. US legal bubble can’t pop soon enough

    Much of the flight from law school reflects the brutal reality of the employment market for lawyers. The National Association for Law Placement reports that fewer than half of lawyers graduating in 2011 eventually landed jobs in a law firm. Only 65 percent found positions requiring passage of the bar exam. At a time when many law school graduates are shouldering student-loan debts of $125,000 or more, compensation has declined painfully ? the median starting salary for new lawyers in 2012 was just $61,000. And quite a few can’t find any work at all: Nine months after receiving their law degrees, 11.2 percent of the class of 2013 was unemployed.

    1. Single-payer law will solve this problem!

    2. the median starting salary for new lawyers in 2012 was just $61,000.

      This can’t be right, can it?

        1. That’s more than we pay them at the state. (Starting lawyers, I mean, if they’re stupid or incompetent enough to not find work elsewhere)

      1. I saw a chart somewhere – the big law firms skew the average upward. ie – there are two humps with most entry-level lawyers making 40kish… and then a smaller number making 100kish. (this is from memory and I’m too lazy to look it up)

          1. Jesus. Why the fuck is anyone becoming a lawyer?

            1. Because they could not get a job with an undergraduate degree so they decided to double down on their debt and not get a job with a law degree.

            2. Because they can’t do real work?

              Really, the sample of lawyers I know (too large in my opinion) shows them to be indecisive, scatterbrained and hesitant people incapable of being decisive or definitive. Very few lawyers are trial lawyers, most are uber-bureaucrats who simply process paperwork ad nausium.

              1. Maybe you should get to know more solo/small firm practitioners.

                1. Sadly that survey includes them. One was unable to cover his cost of living on the firm’s income, so he ran for judge.

              2. So that’s all lawyers then?

                1. I stated from the outset that the set described was ‘all lawyers I know’. There may be lawyers I don’t know who don’t fall into that profile, but I don’t have a massive reason grant to conduct a proper survey.

              3. Jury trials are more and more rare.


                1. Because no one can afford them.

        1. And then there’s this:
          A Law Blog analysis of the latest American Bar Association employment data paired with the most recent U.S. News & World Report rankings suggests the gulf between the top 50 schools and the rest of the bunch is huge.

          Article here.

          The unemployment rate for graduates from the top 50 is more than 60% lower than the unemployment rate for everybody else.

            1. Damn you and your nimble fingers!

            2. Sorry. It’s on the Wall Street Journal law blog, front page, or go here:


          1. “Article here”


        2. So your choice is 8 years of school, $125k in debt, for a job paying $60k or you could just go into computer programming, get out in 4 years and land a job paying $60k.

          Weren’t lawyers supposed to be smart?

          1. Lawyers need two things. The ability to memorize large amounts of data in time for the test, and to be a good arguer (don’t even have to be a good logical arguer, it’s possible to get by on emotional appeals). Anything more than that isn’t necessary, which is why the law career is so popular. Lawyer was the high paying prestigious job for people who couldn’t hack it as an engineer or doctor.

          2. Rasilio, you are assuming a law student could do computer programming. Most lawyers I know are in law because they did not excel in STEM.

  17. Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling does an interview and apologizes.

    What an indian-racist?

    1. “Everyone knows Blacks can’t take a joke!”

  18. The GOP problem: Voters think raising the minimum wage is more pro-growth than business tax cuts

    Despite the media obsession with income inequality, political candidates are smarter to frame their message around economic growth rather than narrowing the gap between the 1% and the 99%. According to a recent survey from GlobalStrategyGroup, voters prefer a candidate focused on “more economic growth” versus “less income inequality” by 80% to 16%. Likewise, voters prefer by 62% to 33% a candidate focused on “economic growth to provide more opportunities for everyone to succeed” versus one focused on “economic justice to level the playing field for middle and low-income Americans.”

    Now one might assume this finding should be good news for Republicans. But it might not be. If the GSG survey is correct, Democrats have been pretty successful in arguing that many of their old-fashioned redistributionist policies ? like raising the minimum wage and guaranteeing a minimum wage ? are actually growthier policies (see above and below chart) than GOP ideas such as business tax cuts or reducing top marginal income tax rates.The tradition supply-side message just isn’t selling the way it used to.

    1. Well, yeah. Of course raising minimum wage is pro-growth. It gives the workers more money to spend, and that grows the economy. Where does that money come from? Profits! It’s magic! It transfers wealth from the rich to the poor!

      1. Bastiat’s “That Which is Seen, and That Which is Not Seen” comes to mind.

    2. Making things more expensive always promotes growth!

      1. The more expensive something is, the better it is. Making things more expensive makes them better!

  19. Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling does an interview and apologizes.

    “Kid, have you rehabilitated yoreself?”

  20. In a New York Times op-ed, Sen. Rand Paul

    He wrote and wrote until he couldn’t hold his urine in any longer.

  21. Rand Paul isn’t the only one who is grieved over the President’s use of drone strikes.

  22. A tavern owner has won a First Amendment battle against a New Jersey city over his right to open a bar called “Buck Foston.”

    Article here.

    A federal jury this week found that the city of New Brunswick violated the constitutional rights of Larry Blatterfein by denying him a liquor license. In siding with the 61-year-old businessman, the jury concluded that the city held up the bar in red tape because it objected to its name, an off-color pun evoking the legendary rivalry between the Yankees and the Red Sox.

    1. an off-color pun evoking the legendary rivalry between the Yankees and the Red Sox.

      I was starting to worry that ESPN employees wouldn’t have a place to meet for happy hour.

      1. That’s not a pun, it’s a spoonerism.

        I remember hearing about this years ago.

      2. Given that they are all in Bristol Connecticut I’m not sure they’d be heading down to Jersey city very often

  23. Drinking Hornet Vomit Makes Me a Better Runner

    I’d been running for a few hours now. My peripheral vision took in the dying red sun behind the stunning cliffs of the Jurassic coast while the wind howled into my face and made my eyes stream. My quads and calves burned on the steep ascent and I was breathing deep into the very bottom of my lungs, but I was still strangely alert, still pounding strongly past the 20 mile-mark?a point when I’d usually be an aching, sweating carcass. I was light-headed. My brain trembled with endorphins and I felt like I could just keep going. Why? Because I’d drunk hornet vomit.

    A new wave of sports nutrition has legs. Six of them in fact, as well as a head, thorax, abdomen and quite often an antenna and wings. I’ve been experimenting with the delicately refined spew of the oosuzumebachi, otherwise known as the Japanese giant hornet or the giant sparrow bee. I buzzed up that final hill part man, tiny part giant hornet, feeling a tangible exhilaration from the Vespa amino acid mixture (VAAM) I had imported from Japan to help with my endurance running.

    1. I might try it just for the apparent increase in punning ability.

      1. “Bee Tagger turns to hornet puke for a buzz”

      2. Will it help me drink more?

    2. Yeah, endurance running just isn’t for me. Our society may glamorize fitness, but for some runners it’s a mental illness.

      1. It’s endorphin addiction, probably.

    3. Isn’t honey just bee vomit?

      1. Bees vomit honey; yeast pisses alcohol; Mead!

    4. That’s nice, honey.

  24. Pistorius has had an anxiety disorder since childhood and was “anxious” about violent crime

    If he’s been aware of it and didn’t, um, treat it, isn’t his shooting sort of like drinking and driving?

    Also, how long does this trial go on?

    1. I think he was eager, not anxious.

    2. Also, how long does this trial go on?

      OJ: How soon they forget.

    3. Until he pulls a Tyrion and demands trial by combat

  25. Hello.

    See, kids? This is why you play the same lottery numbers every week.

  26. Hillary and Me
    The 2008 campaign was a nightmare. Will 2016 be as bad?

    Like most ’08 veterans, I had sworn off covering Clinton ever again, never mind the looming 2016 presidential race and Clinton’s overwhelming perceived advantage. Then, a couple of months ago, I was teamed with my POLITICO colleague and fellow Hillary ’08 veteran Maggie Haberman to work on a story about Clinton’s long and rocky relationship with the political press. Here was a pretty straightforward and circumscribed assignment, and we had no trouble inducing people to flesh out the details of what we already knew: Clinton feels as if she’s been unfairly targeted by reporters over the years, was deeply hurt by the searing coverage of her personal life in the 1990s (conjured anew by Monica Lewinsky’s I-want-to-be-left-alone exhibitionist riff in Vanity Fair this month) and believes that the “scars” she’s earned were inflicted by a frivolous and vulpine media.

  27. The sex-obsessed world of Brunei.

    It’s the Post, but still, the Brunei royals seem like awesome dudes.

    Indeed, the Sultan and his equally decadent brother, Prince Jefri, were dubbed “constant companions in hedonism” in 2011 by Vanity Fair. He lives in a palace with 1,788 rooms, 257 bathrooms, five swimming pools, a mosque, a banquet hall that holds 5,000 people and a 110-car garage. When he turned 50, the Sultan built a stadium, invited Michael Jackson to perform in it and paid him $17 million for three concerts.

    Jefri, 59, maintains a separate pleasure palace and once owned a 152-foot yacht called “Tits”; he named its tenders “Nipple 1” and “Nipple 2” and could never understand why others often found that juvenile and crass. Here and abroad, the brothers are infamous for their sex parties and their harems composed mainly of underage girls.

    1. Speaking of underage girls:

      Texas man arrested for suspected premarital sex with 16-year-old wife

      “Hah! Ma wife won’t testifah agin me!”

      1. Ilich Guardiola, who also works as a voice actor in Japanese animations, was pulled over in a traffic stop in the Houston suburb of Spring Valley last month and later questioned about his relationship with the teen riding with him, police said.

        Well that makes the story more complete.

    2. After the Ottomans got rid of the practice of the oldest son of the Sultan killing all of his younger brothers right after his father died, they would take them and put them in something called “the cage”. It was a place in the palace where the guy was basically locked in a gelded prison with various women to him entertained and make sure he had no desire to start any civil wars trying to take the throne.

      It wasn’t such a bad deal. The only problem was a couple of times the Sultan died without an heir and they had to go dig the guy out of the cage to rule. The few times they did this it didn’t turn out very well since living that sort of life made him into a seriously deranged and stunted pervert.

      1. “Gelded prison.”

        John, you are a National Treasure!

        1. I have to admit, that one was intentional. it shouldn’t count but it was just too tempting not to do.

      2. I always thought it was fascinating that the Ottomans, who had a ten-generation run of powerful, vigorous rulers who almost never married, began their decline because Suleiman the Magnificent decided to marry one of his harem slaves and murdered his presumptive heir in favor of Roxelana’s son.

        1. There were a lot of reason why they fell on hard times. Most of all, the had a strict guild system that continued on into the modern era and prevented them from keeping up economically with Europe. The other problem is that the Jansisaries became their own guild and refused to update their doctrine and tactics as Europe got better and better. The Ottomans pretty much owned the field up through the 16th Century. But then the Europeans had the 30 years war and the innovations of Gustavus Adolphus of Sweden. The Ottomans never caught up. The next time they went to bat against the Europeans was in 1683 before Vienna and they got their asses handed to them and it was all down hill from there.

          1. It’s actually surprising how long a truly strong empire can survive even horrific leadership and internal social rot.

            Gibbon traced the beginning of Rome’s downfall from the death of Marcus Aurelius–but even then, the empire lasted in some official form for another 300 years, many Roman administrative institutions throughout the west remained structurally intact through Charlemagne, and the Byzantines carried on the cultural mantle for nearly another millennia after that. It took a world war and a once-in-a-century leader like Ataturk to finally eliminate the final remnants of the sultans 230 years after Vienna.

            Strong nations don’t necessarily seem to collapse so much as evolve. When we finally croak, I suspect we’ll still retain many of the trappings of constitutional governement for a long time.

            1. When we finally croak, I suspect we’ll still retain many of the trappings of constitutional governement for a long time.

              Oh I think we’re well on the way already.

            2. It is amazing how long things can last and how little wisdom it takes to fuck up something. Having read Gibbon and John Julius Norwich’s three volume history of Byzantium that came out back in the 1990s, the lesson I take is that empires fall as much as anything when their population lose their belief and optimism. Time and again, Byzantium was beset by horrible misfortune and leadership and yet still came back. It wasn’t until their population lost their optimism and will to overcome that it died.

              Another example of what I mean is England in the middle ages. England post conquest only had two great kings (Henry II and Edward II), the rest of them were either successful but left the country bankrupt or without an heir at their death (Edward I, Henry I) or they were poor to outright disasters for the country. England suffered from an horrific civil war about every century or so. Yet, it continued to grow and advance because its population never lost its belief and optimism.

              To me the worst thing liberals have done to this country is not their policies, which are plenty horrific, it is the constant beating of the country down and robbing it of its optimism and will to overcome. That will do more damage than even bankruptcy over the long term.

              1. I think you mean Edward III. Edward II is widely regarded as a weak failure.

                1. Yeah. I mean Edward III. I forgot an I.

    3. When they let the people drink alcohol, then we can talk about them being awesome.

      1. I bet they let themselves drink alcohol and I am certain that that is all they care about.

      2. I keep forgetting that sarcasm isn’t as obvious through text.

    4. Wasn’t it the Sultan of Brunei who knocked up an 8 year old and then knocked up her daughter creating the youngest grandmother in history?

  28. Woman accused of running over fiance twice

    Deputies said 37-year-old Heather Johnson hopped in her red Eclipse during an argument with her fianc? and backed over him.

    Deputies said Johnson then put the car into drive and ran over him again, before taking off.

    When deputies got to the scene, they said they found the fianc? with lacerations to his torso and what appeared to be a disfigured arm.

    When they caught up with Johnson, deputies said she told them her fianc? took her keys at one point and wasn’t letting her leave.

    She then demanded he too be arrested.

    1. She looks great for 37. I can see how he got caught on the wrong side of the hot/crazy line.

    1. I dunno. It was here at HyR that I learned some (weird) men don’t like anal.

      1. Maybe they just need moar rum (and maybe a lash or two)?

        1. My ex was obsessed with rum and anal. But he was Greek, so…..

        2. “Lash or two”?

          A full set of fakes AND mascasa, honey!

      2. How is it weird to not want excrement involved in your intercourse?

        1. You don’t get turned on waiting for your lover to scrub their colon clean for your pleasure?

        2. Next I suppose you’ll claim it is *not* a natural lubricant?

        3. Apparently if you don’t have a poop fetish you’re weird.

        4. I remember there being a picture from an anime (or maybe H) subtitled that said something like, “How can you say you love her if you won’t let her poop on you?”

      3. It’s weird not to want anybody putting things up my ass?

        1. does that include the TSA medical profession?

          1. Did you like having some middle-aged guy and his man-hands squeeze your scrotum to test for a hernia? Sure, I get the point of it, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy it.

            1. When I was a twenty-something, I got a job at a software house doing support. Since this company was owned by a large manufacturing firm, I had to take a physical. Which was done at a local med-center by two women.

              The turn and cough portion was done by the more attractive of the two – a red-head… who had no idea how to handle the tackle. I spent the rest of the day walking with a limp.

            2. This is why my GP is a small woman with small fingers.

      4. Pitching or catching?

  29. Elderly man with walker accused of holding up Florida bank with knife

    Police say a foul-mouthed 77-year-old armed with a knife and a walker scooted his way up to a Florida bank teller’s window and demanded everything she’s got.

    Russell Cooper was arrested outside the Boynton Beach PNC Bank last week after the astonishing hold up which ended in police officers disarming him with a stun gun, USA Today reported.

    Surveillance video taken inside the bank on May 2 shows the hunched, elderly man being escorted up to a teller’s window by a manager whom he allegedly took as a hostage after an argument over his lack of finances.

  30. My brain trembled with endorphins and I felt like I could just keep going. Why? Because I’d drunk hornet vomit.


  31. It was here at HyR that I learned some (weird) men don’t like anal.

    Whatever. Maybe you should squat do kegels more.

  32. Boko Haram leader claims captives converted to Islam

    “Praise be to Allah, the lord of the world,” the girls in the video chant.

    Hey, what is Abubakar Shekau, chopped liver?

    1. When you have militants pointing kalashnikovs at your head, any ‘conversion’ is illegitimate, becuase it’s either naked coersion or stockholm syndrome (hidden coercion).

    2. Am I the only person on this continent who doesn’t care about this story?

      1. I can’t even care enough to comment.

      2. I posted on my FB page over the weekend a few articles by Teju Cole and other Nigerian writers. They emphasize that BH has been doing a lot worse than kidnapping girls for a damn long time – but then, the Nigerian government in reprisals has been slaughtering civilians wholesale also. The’re a serious concern that western intervention will ignore all the background and history and basically empower a corrupt, bloodthirsty government in the name of stopping terror, all the while undermining the careful efforts of the actual Nigerian dissidents and thinkers to try to develop democratic change from within without everyone getting killed.

        My wall discussion went… poorly.

        1. western intervention will ignore all the background and history and basically empower a corrupt, bloodthirsty government in the name of stopping terror

          This has all happened before, it will all happen again…

        2. How dare you bring nuance and fact to an emotional discussion!

          The only correct position to take is AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!

        3. I did some reading about that too. BH should have been murdered by the Nigerian people by now, except that the Nigerian government has managed to be almost as bad.

        4. Lemme guess, consensus was that you hate Nigerian girls?

          1. Well, of course. Why do I hate the WAR ON WIMMINZ!!!1!1! and all that.

            Oh, and of course: RACIST! But that kinda goes without saying.

            1. Let me guess:

              They othered you as a *white* indian (dot not feather). Right?

              1. Oddly, my FB friends seem to forget about the indian part, and wonder why I post so often about brown children getting killed in western-driven conflicts.

                If I weren’t libertarian I could totally work the oppressed minority shit. I can really see the appeal.

        5. Bring back our grills!

      3. At least you didn’t make a “Whiter Shade of Pale” joke.

  33. This weekend’s results kept alive my hopes for an all Original Six playoff road for the Bruins.

    1. Don’t you just kind of for old time’s sake want the Bruins to lose to the Canadians in some impossible and ridiculously heartbreaking way? It would be kind of a return to normalcy for Bruins fans.

      1. That wouldn’t really work unless they had first rights to all the Canadian players too.

        1. True. For all of the bitching and moaning Red Sox fans do, Bruins fans up until they won the cup a couple of years ago really had it bad. They had some loses to the Canadians that were just bizarre over the years.

  34. http://hotair.com/archives/201…..time-ever/

    Brookings Institute: More businesses dying than be created for the first time ever.

    Liberals have always denied the existence of creative destruction. I guess they have finally decided that they can make reality conform to the ideology.

  35. So, if I understand things correctly the NFL is extremely homophobic because Sam, the second best DE on his own team, was drafted about where he should have been?

    1. Don Jones, who tweeted “OMG” and “Horrible” is the most homophobic person to ever walk the earth!

      1. Since NPR is doing pledging I listened to the rock station morning show. The topic was how kissing your boyfriend on national television will not help Sam be known as “Sam the footbal player” instead of “Sam the gay football player”.


        1. I thought him kissing the boyfriend was pretty damned great. The only reason ESPN was covering him so much is because he was gay. If they want to cover him so much because of the novelty of him being gay, then he was totally right to have the boyfriend there and do a little makeout session on camera. I would bet anything ESPN did not bargain for that and the producers choked on their coffee the moment it happened. Good for Sam.

          1. The kiss was fine, but why the cake smashing*?

            *And actually, I am not 100% clear on the details. When did the weird cake smash/eat cake out of each other’s mouth happen?

            1. I thought the cake thing was a joke on the radio. If they did that then great! No half measures.

            2. The cake smashing was totally gratuitous and over the top. I liked that even better. Again, I felt like the whole thing was kind of insulting to Sam and gays in general. It was just making a spectacle out of him because he is gay. If ESPN wanted a spectacle, Sam gave them one. I generally loath any player who plays for Missouri, being from Kansas and all. I have to admit, I like Sam a lot more than I did after this weekend.

              1. It was also the seventh round of the draft. If you are upset by men kissing, why are you also not upset that you are wasting time watching the seventh round*?

                *Second disclaimer, I do like the draft, but after the 3rd round I can’t watch anymore.

                1. I am not upset by men kissing CPA but I bet the ESPN programing execs were not too happy about it. That is why I thought it was funny.

              2. You’re from Kansas? Another Brownbacker?

                That explains a lot.

                1. Yeah Shreek, you are from Georgia and that explains why you are the only overt and unapologetic white supremacist and racist on here.

                  Why don’t you try not being racist, since you can’t fix retard, before you worry about accusing others.

    2. They are homophobic because a guy with average athleticism and a good but not great college career went exactly where he probably should have gone in the draft.

    3. The NFL Channel’s obsession with the Player Who Sleeps With Men, and practically saying screw you to all the other late-round draft prospects, was rather repulsive if you ask me.

      1. +1 historic moment

      2. NFL Channel? ESPN showed the cake-smearing French kissing well after the initial pick.

        It is like showing lions fucking on PBS or something similar. Only cringeworthy because it is rare.

    4. I just hope that Mike Sam ends up playing Will.

      1. *narrows gaze*

        Don’t think we didn’t see what you did there…

      2. I heard he used to play Tight End but doesn’t anymore

    5. If he’s gonna cry like that, he should wear a dress, no matter what his sexual orientation. That scene looked like something out of a Lifetime movie made up by people who only know gay cliches.

  36. Steyn takes on the subject of police shooting citizens.
    From one of the letters he quotes:

    With the most extreme examples of excessive police force you, and other Libertarian-leaning commentators, cite, you are promoting (very influentially I must add) the dangerous notion that the police officers all around us are consumed with megalomania and bloodlust.

    1. Maybe the police officers ought to consider not giving evil Libertarian leaners like Steyn so much evidence for their claims?

  37. I just got done reading (and responding) to possibly the dumbest thread I’ve ever participated in during my 3 or so years on HnR. Really, only mtrueman can give Ken competition when he breaks and goes full retard.

    I just don’t even, look here as Ken goes off the fucking rails.

  38. Headline: Get Ready To Be Horrified At What Schools Are Telling Kids About Sex

    CPA: Oh, what are they telling the kids?

    Article: Some states, NOTHING. FREAK OUT!

    1. Sex education seems to be predicated on the idea that the kids are going to do it anyway, so we’d better teach them to do it safely — and if you don’t agree with this, you’re some sort of evil monster.

      But when it comes to alcohol, the kids are going to drink anyway, so we ought to create a culture where they can do it safely, or where it’s not going to be a forbidden fruit. Suggest treating alcohol education the same as sex education, though, and you’re that evil monster.

      1. Sex education should never happen in public schools. Sex education should be left to the parents. Parents should be able to teach their kids whatever they want without having the state intervene.

    2. I say we just give all kids a turn on a farm between ages 12 and 14. All of their questions will be answered, and they’ll have a pretty good idea about the risks involved.

  39. Tim Geithner Asked Dinesh D’Souza “How It Felt To Be Such A Dick”

    Former Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, who steered the U.S. economy through some of its most perilous moments, spent little of his life in partisan politics before his 2009 appointment by President Barack Obama.

    But he had an early tangle with one of Obama’s most ardent and controversial foes while only in college: the conservative author and filmmaker Dinesh D’Souza.


  40. you, and other Libertarian-leaning commentators, cite, you are promoting (very influentially I must add) the dangerous notion that the police officers all around us are consumed with megalomania and bloodlust.


    1. Dangerous to whom?

  41. bFormer Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, who steered the U.S. economy through some of its most perilous moments

    *outright, prolonged laughter*

    1. Americans lost $14 trillion in 2008, old man. It was not a good time.

      1. They didn’t lose $14 trillion because it never existed in the first place.

        To lost something, you actually have to have it first.

      2. “Americans lost $14 trillion in 2008, old man. It was not a good time.”

        Americans realized that they were overvaluing assets to the tune of $14 trillion in 2008, old man. It was not a good time.


  42. Tags are hsrd.

  43. The NFL Channel’s obsession with the Player Who Sleeps With Men, and practically saying screw you to all the other late-round draft prospects, was rather repulsive if you ask me.

    That guy’s agent is a fucking GENIUS. “Look, all you have to do is tell everybody you’re gay, and you’re guaranteed to get drafted. Otherwise, you’ll probably end up getting the shit kicked out of you at some free agent camp.”

    1. It’s the next step after Manti Te’o.

      Next year we’ll have the first F-M transsexual draftee.

      1. Not that I’m super sure on how the terminology works, but I think it’d be M-F if you’re trying to be remotely serious.

        1. Female-to-male.

          Then after that we’ll have the first natural-born female player – probably a kicker.

          Then we’ll have the first female QB.

          Then we’ll have the first….

          1. Then after that we’ll have the first natural-born female player – probably a kicker.

            Already done at the college level.


            1. We’re talking about using your personal life as publicity to get drafted by an NFL team.

              1. We’re talking about using your personal life as publicity to get drafted by an NFL team.

                You mean like being a natural born female kicker? I was just pointing out that college had one, who claimed she was raped (the only reason I remembered her).

                1. who claimed she was raped

                  Right, but she didn’t go to the police, even though she can easily identify the alleged rapist. Instead she rides around the country telling her “story of survival”, slandering the members of the Colorado football team by refusing to name the perpetrator of the crime.

                  It’s most likely fucking bullshit.

          2. So I was right. You should have gone male-to-female. Then he’d still be big and strong enough to play.

          3. “Then we’ll have the first female QB.”

            Are you forgetting Tony Romo?

            1. As a Cowboy fan . . . I can’t take offense at that.

      2. Can’t, the hormone suppliments are steroids.

        1. You don’t think the NFL would be bullied by progs into making an exception for such a “historic moment”, and that the players will be bullied into going along with it?

    2. I’ve felt for several years that the first guy or two to come out is going to make a ton of extra money for doing it. Even if it turns off a lot of people (which I doubt it will), having 10% of the fanbase devoutly loyal to you is amazing for the non-elite level guys.

      1. His jersey is already a big seller and he has endorsements. Smart move for a guy who probably doesn’t have the skills to excel in the NFL long term.

        1. Jersey sales are huge revenue. I’d like to know how much Sam’s generate.

    3. It got Jason Collins an extra contract didn’t it?

      And yeah, he is totally genius. No way does he get cut either. He is guaranteed at least one year in the NFL.

      1. If he actually does get cut, it will be a complete shock. He’s got too many people white-knighting him in the media for the Rams to take that kind of P.R. risk.

        1. He got drafted, so he probably would have made the team anyway. You never know. He might be a real stud. Lots of guys taken in the later rounds of the draft are or end up having long careers as rotation or back up players.

          1. But the Rams are also stacked at that position.

            1. Yeah, they took Howie Long’s kid a few years ago and a couple of others since.

              His problem is that he is not a good enough athlete to play much on special teams. So, he will have to make his living as a backup or specialist, which is really tough to do if you don’t bring a lot to special teams.

          2. Yeah, he could end up having a long career. But the odds are really against that–just look at the history of late-round draft picks. Most of them don’t last a year or two before they’re cut.

            Being openly gay in the NFL is going to be his real legacy. But I suspect his actual playing career will end after 2-3 years and injuries, like it is for most 7th-round draft picks. And it’s going to be the same circus all over again when it happens.

          3. He got drafted, so he probably would have made the team anyway.

            Outside of the first round, its my impression most don’t make the team. Not seeing anything one way or the other on teh Google.

            1. The top three rounds are virtually guaranteed. They only have a seven round draft now. Nearly every player drafted these days at least makes the practice squad.

  44. Massive rat caught on NZ island sanctuary

    A huge rat has been captured and killed on predator-free [sic] Motuarohia Island in the Bay of Islands.

    The nearly half-kilogram male Norway rat was caught and killed on April 30 on private land at the western end of the island, also known as Roberton Island.

    Motuarohia Island is the western-most island of the pest-free archipelago making up Project Island Song.

    Department of Conservation ranger Andrew Blanshard and his rodent-hunting dog stalked the rat for four weeks as it was too big to fit into a traditional trap.

    “It was an enormous animal, more than 400 grams,” he said.

    400 grams is something like 14 ounces. Yikes.

    1. predator-free [sic] Motuarohia Island ”

      A rodent-hunting dog is not a predator?

      1. That rat was the apex predator.

    2. Rats are predators… or do they mean free of rat-eating preditors?

      1. A lot of islands in the pacific have no predators against the indigenous birds. There are no snakes, rats, or dogs or anything to feed on the birds. This is why flightless birds like the Kiwi live on those islands and no where else. Because of international trade, invasive predators have wiped out the bird populations of more than a few Pacific Islands. The best known example of this is the snake that invaded Guam after World War II.

        This Island appears to be one of those places and the New Zealand government is trying to keep it so.

    3. I wonder what kind of dog those are.

    4. 1 lb is a big rat? Squirrels are bigger than that. A large rat would be the size of a small possum, not a squirrel.

  45. The Oaktown gov’t and unions get together for a really thrilling screw-up!:

    “For the A’s, it was a chance to play hometown heroes.
    Both the A’s and Good Tidings figured getting the city approvals would be no problem, because they had worked with Parks and Rec in the past.
    The city, which mows the outfield once a month, couldn’t afford the extra attention the infield needed – but labor rules prevented it from simply outsourcing the job to Little League.
    Oakland finally consented to letting Little League cut the grass – but only if it used a push mower, because of the potential liability involving power mowers.”

    Hey, those kids don’t vote!

    1. There is something oddly compelling about mowing the grass in a perfectly flat and green area like a sports field. When I retire someday, I would love to go Forest Gump and be the guy who mows and keeps the grass at some high school football field. Sadly, even the high schools seem to be going artificial these days.

  46. Has Rubio done anything other than take up space in the senate?

  47. Obama’s corporate tax cut denied by GOP – now causing Pfizer to possibly relocate to London.


      Got it; get lost.

    2. I thought all tax cuts were giveaways to the super rich. Oh, you mean it depends on who proposes the cut? Oh yeah. Principals, not principles.

  48. This is the most hipster thing I’ve seen today.

    Weird venue? Check.
    Food trucks? Check.
    Old-timey games that have been appropriated by urban “youths”? Check.

    1. Oh, for fuck’s sake. At what point does this violate the NAP?

    2. I saw a couple of guys in kickball t-shirts this weekend. Why the hell do these idiots play children’s games? Softball I get. Bowling, I get. There is nothing wrong with adult rec sports. But why play a dumbed down game designed for 8 year old children? And then wear a T-shirt to advertise it?

      Maybe I am just not fit for this world. Am I the only one who sees those shirts and thinks “douchebag”?

      1. Kids can’t play kickball anymore. So these folks might as well play as adults.

      2. I saw a couple of guys in kickball t-shirts this weekend.

        It’s co-ed. Good way to meet chicks. Basketball with the guys, kickball on Sundays followed by beer on a good bar with a patio.

        Or you know, I could just get off your lawn.

        1. Yeah get off my lawn. Can’t you just buy a motorcycle or a fast car and meet chicks that way? I like getting laid just as much as the next guy but if I were single and the only way I could meet chicks was to play kickball, I am thinking self abuse might not look to bad.

          Good for you if it gets you laid. Who am I to judge that? It is not like I didn’t do plenty of humiliating and stupid things in pursuit of getting laid. I just don’t think I could do it.

      3. I am having a hard time understanding the distinction you are making between softball and kickball.

        1. Bingo. Kickball and softball are the same freaking thing. A dumbed down version of baseball for kids or women.

          1. If he was complaining about dodgeball or tag but not softball I could see it.

            1. Softball is baseball dumbed down for a reason, very few people can pitch effectively and with any control. They do have adult baseball leagues. They are generally filled with people with a lot of experience playing it because it can be so dangerous if your pitching is bad.

              I am not a fan of softball, but I wouldn’t put it on the level of kick ball.

  49. Anyone see this gem from the Mercatus Center?

  50. Haha I made a couple Excel sheets years ago with that data on it, to send to libs bitching about Citizens United. But now it comes in a nice graph, because math is hard.

  51. Almost forgot to troll this morning.

    Here’s a couple of Civil War re-enactors who try to do something about the fact that there aren’t enough activities for children at the encampments.


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