Reason.com - Free Minds and Free Markets
Reason logo Reason logo
  • Latest
  • Magazine
    • Current Issue
    • Archives
    • Subscribe
    • Crossword
  • Video
  • Podcasts
    • All Shows
    • The Reason Roundtable
    • The Reason Interview With Nick Gillespie
    • The Soho Forum Debates
    • Just Asking Questions
    • The Best of Reason Magazine
    • Why We Can't Have Nice Things
  • Volokh
  • Newsletters
  • Donate
    • Donate Online
    • Donate Crypto
    • Ways To Give To Reason Foundation
    • Torchbearer Society
    • Planned Giving
  • Subscribe
    • Reason Plus Subscription
    • Print Subscription
    • Gift Subscriptions
    • Subscriber Support

Login Form

Create new account
Forgot password

A.M. Links: Pro-Russian Activists in Ukraine Planning to Hold Autonomy Referendum, House Holds Former IRS Official in Contempt, White House Praises NSA Bill

Matthew Feeney | 5.8.2014 9:00 AM

Share on FacebookShare on XShare on RedditShare by emailPrint friendly versionCopy page URL
Media Contact & Reprint Requests
Large image on homepages | NSA/Wikimedia
(NSA/Wikimedia)
NSA
  • Pro-Russian activists in eastern Ukraine plan to go ahead with an autonomy referendum on Sunday despite Russian President Vladimir Putin calling for the vote to be postponed.
  • The House voted yesterday to hold Lois Lerner, the former head of the tax-exempt division at the IRS, in contempt. Lerner has twice invoke the Fifth Amendment at House Oversight Committee hearings.
  • Sylvia Mathews Burwell, President Obama's pick to replace Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, will appear before the first of two Senate confirmation hearings today.
  • The White House has praised a bill aimed at limiting the NSA's ability to collect records of telephone calls.
  • American military personnel will arrive in Nigeria in the coming days to assist in the search for hundreds of school girls kidnapped by the Islamist group Boko Haram.
  • An explosion, believed to have been caused by a rebel bomb, has destroyed a hotel and several other buildings in the northern Syrian city of Aleppo.

Follow Reason and Reason 24/7 on Twitter, and like us on Facebook. You can also get the top stories mailed to you—sign up here.

Start your day with Reason. Get a daily brief of the most important stories and trends every weekday morning when you subscribe to Reason Roundup.

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

NEXT: "Devastating" Sequester Cuts Cost a Total of One (1) Federal Job!

Matthew Feeney is a policy analyst at the Cato Institute.

Share on FacebookShare on XShare on RedditShare by emailPrint friendly versionCopy page URL
Media Contact & Reprint Requests

Hide Comments (444)

Editor's Note: As of February 29, 2024, commenting privileges on reason.com posts are limited to Reason Plus subscribers. Past commenters are grandfathered in for a temporary period. Subscribe here to preserve your ability to comment. Your Reason Plus subscription also gives you an ad-free version of reason.com, along with full access to the digital edition and archives of Reason magazine. We request that comments be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment and ban commenters for any reason at any time. Comments may only be edited within 5 minutes of posting. Report abuses.

  1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    The White House has praised a bill aimed at limiting the NSA's ability to collect records of telephone calls.

    As something that can easily be ignored.

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Hello.

    2. DJF   11 years ago

      """"limiting the NSA's ability to collect records of telephone calls.""'

      NSA will be limited to collecting records of telephone calls that they want to collect and no longer collect records that they don't want.

      1. Tim   11 years ago

        NSA will no longer make collect calls.

      2. Rich   11 years ago

        Define "ability".

    3. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

      The limit was only that they couldn't collect phone records of congress. All else is bau.

    4. Mokers   11 years ago

      Will the nsa actually limit anything or just lie about everything like they did before?

    5. BigT   11 years ago

      As something that the WH could have done on its own if it cared a whit.

      1. db   11 years ago

        And this.

    6. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

      A bill to force the administration to do something it could've done on its own is being praised by the administration?

      1. db   11 years ago

        This.

  2. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    The House voted yesterday to hold Lois Lerner, the former head of the tax-exempt division at the IRS, in contempt

    Ask Holder how devastating that is.

    1. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

      He may be smirking on the outside but he is crying on the inside.

    2. Rich   11 years ago

      Why bother? He doesn't know!

    3. BigT   11 years ago

      Does being held in contempt have ANY consequences? I would expect a hearing at least.

      1. db   11 years ago

        Technically the House can jail her until the end of the current Congressional term.

    4. Raven Nation   11 years ago

      Curious to hear people's thoughts: Lerner is clearly a tool of the administration. But is there a bad precedent here in charging someone with contempt if they are invoking the fifth?

      1. Night Elf Mohawk   11 years ago

        I believe the argument is that she waived her 5th amendment rights with her self-serving speech.

        1. robc   11 years ago

          This. Once you agree to testify, you dont get to pick and choose which questions to answer.

        2. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

          Government officials have the right to their constitutional rights, but there does have to be at least non-criminal consequences if your employment requires you to answer congressional inquiries. And yes, the argument definitely can be made that she waved the right by making a statement.

          1. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

            The argument can be made that she's a unicorn. That doesn't mean it's a good argument.

            1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

              The argument can be successfully made, in my opinion.

            2. Raven Nation   11 years ago

              Not looking to argue, just curious. I assume you're saying she didn't de facto waive her rights?

              Can you expand a little?

              1. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

                http://www.popehat.com/2014/03.....amendment/

                1. Raven Nation   11 years ago

                  OK, that's very helpful. So, a follow up if I may:

                  Say I'm being questioned by the cops and they read me my rights. I then start to answer questions but then part way through the interview, I decide to not answer any more. I assume because this is an interview, I can do that? I also assume that, in any subsequent court action, the cops could relate the whole process?

                  (Not that this would happen. If I've learned anything in the last few years is that I would not answer any question from any cop on any matter without a lawyer present).

                  1. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

                    1) IANAL
                    2) I would generally say yes, with the codecil that thanks to SOCTUS's craptacular ruling in Salina v. Texas that when you decide to stop answering, you need to very clearly state, "I AM GOING TO STOP ANSWERING YOUR QUESTIONS NOW BECAUSE I AM INVOKING MY FIFTH AMMENDMENT RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT"

                    1. Raven Nation   11 years ago

                      OK, thanks.

                2. Night Elf Mohawk   11 years ago

                  At a minimum, in my view it was reckless for her to make an opening statement if her genuine aim was to protect her Fifth Amendment rights, given the uncertainty of the law.

                  There is substantial, though not unanimous, case law that says she waived the hell out of her rights. If your opinion is that the didn't, that's fine, but to imply that this is some kind of unicorn argument is just bullshit.

                  1. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

                    There's also a substantial body of precedent for people appearing before congress to make a generic opening statement and then refusing to answer specific questions.

                    1. fuck you tulpa   11 years ago

                      In other words, there is a case there aqnd for some reason Stormy is being an asshole by trying ti imply otherwise.

          2. Illocust   11 years ago

            Yep, employers should be able to say testify or don't work here. You can voluntarily enter contracts that limit your right to freedom of speech, there should be no reason you can't do the same for the fifth.

        3. Raven Nation   11 years ago

          Right, forgot about that. Thanks.

        4. Furburguesa   11 years ago

          She works for us, she should have to answer all questions.

  3. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    This Guy May Get Sued Over an Amazon Review
    And he could he lose his case, if legal history shows us anything.

    In his review, which has since been edited, the man made several allegations, including that many of the positive reviews about the product on Amazon might be fake and that the router itself was "identical" to a router from a different company.

    If the man doesn't take down his review within three days, cease all Internet conversation about the product, and agrees to never buy the company's products again, the law firm will sue him, according to the letter. But by going to Reddit and not keeping quiet, the man might have already sealed his fate.

    Companies, it turns out, have every right to sue people who write reviews on websites that they may feel are libelous or defamatory.

    1. Jordan   11 years ago

      My wife bought a Medialink wireless router, and it is a piece of shit. I was baffled as to how it was rated so highly. Now I know.

      1. tarran   11 years ago

        Another company to avoid is D-Link. Some of their products are great. Others are so poorly designed that I can't believe the same company produced them.

        1. Carl ?s his privilege   11 years ago

          Others are so poorly designed that I can't believe the same company produced them.

          They probably weren't. Consumer-grade networking equipment is very often outsourced to ODMs.

          In fact, IIRC the Medialink router the suit involves was the same as a Tenda model.

      2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        I've been training myself to read reviews trying to separate the legit and fake ones. Sometimes the shilling is obvious. When it isn't, I look for patterns, language used, etc. to try and cut through it all.

        1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

          As good an excuse as any to revisit the Banana Slicer reviews

          1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

            Those are classics. Good find.

            "I tried the banana slicer and found it unacceptable. As shown in the picture, the slices is curved from left to right. All of my bananas are bent the other way."

          2. Jordan   11 years ago

            There's a Lego TSA set as well as a Predator UAV toy that both have hilarious reviews.

            1. robc   11 years ago

              Also the harry potter vibrating broom.

          3. Clich? Bandit   11 years ago

            I am still a 3 wolf moon fan.

        2. The Last American Hero   11 years ago

          Write an app to do this for people and you could become quite wealthy.

    2. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

      So prolly no jury then? Judges ruling. Judge with new Rolls in garage.

    3. Duke   11 years ago

      This Guy May Get Sued Over an Amazon Review. And he could he lose his case, if legal history shows us anything.

      According to Sevo and Callidisident from yesterday's free speech thread, this is perfectly fine since it's one private actor attempting to suppress the speech of another private actor. Free market, after all. Amiright?

      1. Jordan   11 years ago

        I don't know what you're referencing, but a lawsuit involves more than just private actors...

        1. Duke   11 years ago

          Their argument was that private parties are incapable of suppressing free speech, only government can do that. My point was that all free marker business interests are protected and viable because of government-protected contract and property rights. Lawsuits between private parties are just that, disputes among private parties. But yes, we do have government courts. As in, the places where your private mortgage is recorded.

  4. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Was she really a threat? Police officer with a history of fatal shootings guns down 93-year-old woman at her home after she 'brandished a firearm'
    Authorities say 93-year-old Pearlie Golden 'brandished a firearm' before she was shot by the officer
    Officer Stephen Stem, who shot Golden, was involved in another fatal shooting while on duty in 2012
    Golden had lived in her home in Hearne, Texas, for decades and was well-liked by all the residents
    Her nephew reportedly called police after she threatened him with the gun after he took her car keys
    Golden was no longer permitted to operate a vehicle
    When police arrived, Golden was standing in front of her house waving the gun in the air

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....rearm.html
    Failure to obey.

    1. Night Elf Mohawk   11 years ago

      Is her nephew a cop, too?

    2. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

      Meh, if she's actually waving a gun around, I can't really complain.

      1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

        The deadly 93 year old gunwoman was stopped, hurrah!

        If I followed your logic, I would have killed 5% of NE Afghanistan in 2004-2005.

        1. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

          1) having a gun and brandishing one are two different things. If someone points a gun at you, you don't have to until they actually start shooting to defend yourself

          2) with a gun, I don't see how the age is relevant. It's not like bullets move more slowly based on the decrepitude of the person pulling the trigger

          1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

            Failing to obey a command to drop a gun is not brandishing, but it will get you killed by a cop.

            Not for waving a gun around, but for failure to obey.

            Because failure to obey is a capital offense.

            1. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

              If a non-cop had shot her (again assuming the waving the gun around thing is true) and I were on the jury, I'd vote to acquit.

  5. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Outrage as Portland police officers HANDCUFFED a nine-year-old girl, took her fingerprints and detained her for an hour over a children' fight

    Latoya Harris' 9-year-old daughter got into a fight April 26, 2013, with two other girls outside Boys & Girls club in Portland
    Mother of one of the girls called police and demanded that Harris' daughter be arrested for hitting her child in the face
    Officers David McCarthy and Matthew Huspek questioned the girl a week later and then arrested her on fourth-degree assault charge
    The girl was taken in handcuffs to police headquarters where she was fingerprinted and photographed while wearing a wet bathing suit
    Latoya Harris was not allowed to ride in the patrol car with her daughter
    The now-10-year-old girl had to change schools because of teasing and has been in counseling since last June

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....r-old.html

    'In my opinion, they were trying to scare and humiliate her,' Harris said.

    Well, yeah. They're cops. That's what they do.

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Meh, she was nine. We already had a Brickbat about an even younger child being handcuffed. 🙁

    2. Jordan   11 years ago

      The State is the biggest bully of all. Too bad she had to learn that lesson so early.

      1. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

        Hopefully she learned the right one for when she is old enough to vote.

      2. Ted S.   11 years ago

        The State is the biggest bully of all

        I'm glad to see my constant use of that line has rubbed off on somebody else.

    3. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      My kid is nine. I can just imagine her little body being put through that.

      Fucking pigs.

      1. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

        It would be worth it to punch the pig.

    4. Mercutio   11 years ago

      You may beat the rap, but you can't beat the ride.

  6. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

    The U.S. Treasury Department booked a $114 billion surplus in April, the largest for that month since 2008, according to the latest estimates from the Congressional Budget Office released Wednesday.

    For the first seven months of this fiscal year, which began on Oct. 1, the CBO estimates the country has racked up a $301 billion deficit, which is $187 billion lower than it was for the same period last year.

    Federal coffers saw a 7% increase in individual income taxes and payroll taxes, a 15% increase in corporate income taxes, and a 37% increase in money paid to Treasury by the Federal Reserve.

    http://money.cnn.com/2014/05/0.....?hpt=hp_t3

    1. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

      Hey Weigel.

      In Which Dave Weigel Forgets He Was a Member of JournoList
      ...Yeah, I saw him hanging around an Obamacare rally in DC and was kind of shocked by how he looks in person. Granted not everyone can have movie star looks, but he's pretty cocky for someone that's short, overweight, and has a bad complexion. He thinks he's cool but he's just cynical....

    2. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

      Hail to the King.

    3. BigT   11 years ago

      Hail the penal tax and other huge tax increases.

      F the state and their sycophants. That's you, plug.

    4. VG Zaytsev   11 years ago

      and a 37% increase in money paid to Treasury by the Federal Reserve.

      But QE isn't seigniorage.

      Nope, no way.

    5. Juice   11 years ago

      Why are you cheering the Federal Government confiscating ever more revenue?

    6. R C Dean   11 years ago

      Then why does debt to the penny tell me that the deficit for the fiscal year through May 1 is more like $500BB ( held by the public) or $1TT (total oustanding)?

      1. Red Rocks Rockin   11 years ago

        Because the $328 billion that Lew shell-gamed starting in March 2013 was never counted for either FY13 or current fiscal year spending.

  7. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Masturbation: the secret to a long life?
    Betty Dodson says self-love keeps her young. Now the 85-year-old has a new audience of fourth-wave feminists enrolling in workshops she first ran in the 1970s

    Betty Dodson is back. The pensioner once dubbed the "godmother of masturbation" thanks to her 1973 bestseller, Sex for One, is relaunching her masturbation masterclasses in New York. Now 85, Dodson wants to help the post-Sex and the City, post-Girls generation of women that she believes are not nearly as liberated as they think they are. "Most of them haven't even seen their genitals in a mirror. You show 'em and they go 'eek!' Or 'ugh!'"

    Her comeback has caused excitement among a new generation of American women, many of whom are seeking inspiration from the feminist thinkers of the 1970s in the face of renewed attacks on women's rights. "Yeah, I'm an overnight success at 85," says Dodson as she breaks into a chuckle and pours me a glass of vodka. "People now say THE Betty Dodson."

    1. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

      ERNEST BORGNINE - Secret to Old Age

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      "Learning to sex yourself,
      It is the greatest sex of all."

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        Sung to the tune of 'Greatest love of all.'

        1. Ted S.   11 years ago

          Yes, that was the point.

          Sometimes, when I've got the radio on and I'm a bit bored, I'll take the lyrics and substitute either "sex" or "hate", whichever seems more appropriate, for "love".

          1. db   11 years ago

            +1 Carlin:

            "Well, Sheriff, we're gonna kill fuck ya' now...but we're gonna kill fuck ya' slow.

          2. 110 Lean   11 years ago

            When I was in a road band we would try to find songs that could have just one word altered in a way that would completely change the meaning and yet still reaklly make sense. Eg.:

            My eyes deplored you,
            Though I never laid a hand on you,
            My eyes deplored you.

    3. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

      No one masterbated before 1973. They truely are the greatest generation.

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        No reference to 'master of your domain' yet.

        Tsk, tsk.

      2. Rich   11 years ago

        "Ninety percent of men masturbate; and the other ten percent are liars."

      3. Cyto   11 years ago

        No one masterbated before 1973. They truely are the greatest generation.

        One of my great discoveries during college was that people from "before the sexual revolution" were not the twin-bed inhabiting folks of black and white TV.

        A buddy of mine was a history major - specializing in ancient Greece. He had a couple of very cool coffee table sized books of artifacts from two to three thousand years ago. Included were a large number of sex toys for women. Women who apparently never knew how to masturbate or had orgasms before the 1970's.

        Then I learned that a major driving force behind the electrification of private homes was the production of electric vibrators. Old Sears and Roebuck catalogs carry pages of electric massagers for treatment of "hysteria".

        But yeah, we needed the 70's feminists to teach girls how to masturbate. And somehow there was supposed to be a controversy about "the female orgasm".

        I wasn't old enough to understand who the hucksters were at the time, so I don't have a clear picture about where they were coming from or who (if anyone) was taking them seriously. But even within the medical literature it didn't comport with publications from a century earlier.

    4. sarcasmic   11 years ago

      Wouldn't it just be wonderful, if you were to touch yourself.
      I'd like to take a photograph of you as you touch yourself.

  8. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    SWAT raids house looking for drugs, cash and weapons... but instead finds a stunned innocent family
    Heavily armed police burst into family property in Kalamazoo, Michigan
    They were searching for a suspected drug dealer known only as 'Chum'
    But the man they wanted had moved out the house more than a year ago
    Instead found terrified Jeremy and Becky Handley and their two children
    Aurora, eight, and Brenden, seven, hid in wardrobe out of fear during raid
    They have had ongoing nightmares about men with guns since the ordeal

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....amily.html

    Mr Handley now hopes the police will pay for his traumatised children to have counselling, as well as come up with the money for a new front door.

    Good luck with that.

    1. The Last American Hero   11 years ago

      That's some cracker jack investigative work there. Seriously, do they actually do any detective work before they just go cracking skulls?

  9. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    'Graphic, violent? arguably date rape': Father arrested for objecting to ninth-grade daughter's assigned reading of sexually explicit book says his family was 'violated'
    Attorney William Baer charged with disorderly conduct at meeting in New Hampshire between parents and the school board
    Mr Baer violated his 'two-minute speaking time' while discussing why his daughter should not have been given a book with sexual themes
    Gilford High School made Jodi Picoult's Nineteen Minutes required reading for class of 14-year-olds
    Book about school shooting has themes of bullying and sexual violence
    Passage includes the words: 'She could feel his erection, hot against her stomach.... Semen, sticky and hot, pooled on the carpet beneath her'
    Jodi Picoult tweeted: 'Another parent is challenging #19Minutes bc it contains a sex scene far more vague than anything on TV. Sad to focus on that & not bullying.'

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....lated.html

    Mr Baer expressed his outrage that his daughter had been assigned the reading material and when he asked to read the concerning passage aloud, the school board refused.
    'Sir, would you please be respectful of the other people?' a school board member asked.
    He replied: 'Like you're respectful of my daughter, right? And my children?'

    1. Idle Hands   11 years ago

      Best quote is right here:

      Immediately after his arrest his daughter, Marina, 14, railed against the school authorities. She told them: 'This just shows that you resort to force at the first turn of conflict. And I'm appalled. I don't trust you and I honestly don't feel safe around you people.'

      1. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

        Someone send that girl a brochure.

        1. hamilton   11 years ago

          God no. Don't expose her to the commentariat - this may just be our chance to see an Actual Female Libertarian in the wild.

          1. RBS   11 years ago

            For some reason this exchange reminded me of that scene in Jurassic Park when the big female raptor snatches that cage handler guy.

      2. Rich   11 years ago

        "YOU PEOPLE"?!

    2. Idle Hands   11 years ago

      Best quote is right here:

      Immediately after his arrest his daughter, Marina, 14, railed against the school authorities. She told them: 'This just shows that you resort to force at the first turn of conflict. And I'm appalled. I don't trust you and I honestly don't feel safe around you people.'

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        I think that quote was better here.

        1. Idle Hands   11 years ago

          I'm more partial to it's revised placement, in the thread.

    3. Mokers   11 years ago

      I don't like banning books, but I heavily endorse people making life difficult for school boards.

      1. CampingInYourPark   11 years ago

        Objecting to something being required to read isn't banning a book.

        1. Rich   11 years ago

          That's correct. As a matter of fact, he explicitly states that his protest is not about censorship.

        2. Rasilio   11 years ago

          This.

          I am not really into the whole social conservative protect your kids from any hint of sexuality till they are 25 thing but based on the brief descriptions of the offending passages I probably would have objected to my 14 year old being forced to read that as well

          1. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

            If only they objected more frequently to kids being forced to read really terrible shit, like Steinbeck.

            1. SugarFree   11 years ago

              I had to read The Mayor of Casterbridge. I wish I could have chosen waterboarding.

              1. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

                Still a thousand times better than Tess, dude.

                1. SugarFree   11 years ago

                  Jude The Obscure or GTFO.

                  Of course it has [gasp] sex and stuff.

                2. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

                  Tess of the D'Ubervilles? Oh god I hated that book. I think that's the worst book I've ever read in my entire life.

            2. Rasilio   11 years ago

              And while we are at it, can we possibly have our teens read something not depressing? Every single required reading book I had throughout High School was depressing as hell. I am the Cheese, Hiroshima, Grendel, The Stranger, Red Badge of Courage, Our Town, etc. every single one of them was frigging depressing enough to combine with normal teen angst and make suicide seem like a pretty good idea

              1. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

                "Life IS pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something."

    4. SugarFree   11 years ago

      He's upset because he had the only 14-year-old in the entire country that still thought babies arrived via storks and cabbage patches.

      1. Idle Hands   11 years ago

        I thought it was Santa that delivered the babies into mommies stomach? But I may be getting my mythos confused.

      2. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

        Considering all the pedophiles working as teachers they don't need any help. Hey Johnny, have you ever watched any gladiator movies?

      3. sarcasmic   11 years ago

        Not everyone shares your penis fascination.

        1. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

          A lot of 14-year-old girls do, though.

          1. hamilton   11 years ago

            Wait four years, then go on....

          2. SugarFree   11 years ago

            I wonder if Baer's daughter has "gifted" her virginity to him yet at a purity ball. Because only your dad owning your hymen can stop underage sex.

            1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

              Do you play the penis game?

              1. SugarFree   11 years ago

                Do you play the penis game?

                You sure are spending a lot of time thinking about penises this morning. Getting all worked up about gay marriage again?

                1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

                  You sure are spending a lot of time thinking about penises this morning.

                  I'm not the one who writes chapter after chapter about the subject.

                  1. SugarFree   11 years ago

                    I'm not the one who writes chapter after chapter about the subject.

                    But I'm not the one that thinks gay men all want him. Or is that hopes?

                    1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

                      But I'm not the one that thinks gay men all want him.

                      I'm way to out of shape to think that.

            2. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

              There is also a free market solution - Purity Bonds. That way we can all own it temporarily and she gets some capital to invest

              1. RBS   11 years ago

                She should just sell it to the highest bidder.

              2. robc   11 years ago

                They didnt cover that in the unincorporated man. Does a woman have to get approval of a majority of her shareholders before losing her virginity?

                1. SugarFree   11 years ago

                  Does a woman have to get approval of a majority of her shareholders before losing her virginity?

                  I don't think so, but she would have to equitably disperse any funds she received.

            3. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

              I saw footage of this on cable news and he was so not creepy enough for that.

              I actually liked him because as he was being hauled away in handcuffs he was very insistent on finding out what he was being arrested for. He scoffed pretty hard when the cop said disorderly conduct.

          3. Carl ?s his privilege   11 years ago

            A lot of 14-year-old girls do, though.

            If only I had understood this when I was 14.

      4. VG Zaytsev   11 years ago

        The passage in the book is an extended graphic depiction of date rape (rape rape at that) after which the raped girl thanks the attacker for raping her.

        It's clearly not appropriate for 9th graders.

      5. lap83   11 years ago

        So if you don't want your 14 year old forced to read books with sexual themes, you must be an ignorant puritan?

        1. SugarFree   11 years ago

          Pretty much. Of course he shouldn't have been arrested and he had all the right in the world to complain... but that doesn't make me stop thinking he's probably just yet another prudish asshole.

          1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

            I think "ignorant puritan" is a bit much. Its one thing, me letting my kids watch or read stuff that might be a bit age "inappropriate", but to have the school mandate it and argue anyone who objects is some sort of prude/dolt/etc...gah.

            1. SugarFree   11 years ago

              I'm not going to say that my time spent working in a public library hasn't colored my perceptions of the sort of people who are so outraged by a book that they feel the need to get it banned/taken off a reading list/etc.

              Spittle-flecked screaming is usually the mild end of the reactions. It goes all the away up to a librarian getting bitten on the face. (I am not kidding.)

              1. fuck you tulpa   11 years ago

                Well, to be frank, you're acting like an asshole about it.

                Like, the kind of asshole that isn't funny or making a point anymore, but just being an asshole.

  10. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Sylvia Mathews Burwell, President Obama's pick to replace Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, will appear before the first of two Senate confirmation hearings today.

    With a ready-made, Obama admin-tested excuse: the previous guy did it.

  11. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Georgia May Jagger opts for effortless elegance in a midnight blue thigh-split pencil dress as she attends charity gala

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....-gala.html
    Nice bod, but fix those fucking teeth!

    1. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

      And ruin her branding? I think not.

      1. SugarFree   11 years ago

        The gap-tooth and man-eyebrow trends cannot end soon enough.

  12. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Woman Swerves To Avoid Squirrel, Truck Plunges Off Bridge

    Officials at the scene said the woman, who was alone in her pickup truck, swerved to miss a squirrel that was in the road, and lost control of the truck, which ran into the side of the bridge.

    The truck veered over the concrete side of the bridge and overturned, landing in the creek below.

    The woman's injuries were not life-threatening.

    I think the little bastards do this on purpose...

    1. Drake   11 years ago

      I swerve to hit squirrels.

      1. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

        I'm thinking about equiping a drone with a gun to take out birds. I hate birds more than squirrels.

        1. DontShootMe   11 years ago

          We have a bird feeder in the middle of the backyard. Birds spill the seeds all over the ground. Squirrels coming running to look through the grass for seeds to eat. Hawk swoops down and carries away the occasional hapless squirrel. I laugh, and laugh.

          It's better than TV.

      2. Raven Nation   11 years ago

        Even better (jumpy to about 0:45 after commercial opening):

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rm3hd1pxHME

    2. Tejicano   11 years ago

      Heck, I haven't had to choose yet but I'm sure I would just run the silly buggers over. I think it is best to remove from their gene pool whatever DNA that pushes them to sit in the middle of a busy road while objects several thousand times their body mass churn around them. Whatever it is that makes them do that does not belong in the 21st century.

      1. R C Dean   11 years ago

        Never, ever swerve to avoid an animal unless the collision will require bodywork.

  13. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    The former Obamacare czar wants to make single-payer happen

    Don Berwick's last job was running Obamacare's implementation at the Department of Health and Human Services, where Republicans berated the former doctor for supporting the British health service.

    His next goal: bringing single-payer health care to Massachusetts.

    The former Medicare administrator is the only candidate in the Massachusetts governor race running on a single-payer platform. He says he settled on the idea when he was thinking through the different goals he wanted to achieve ? slower health care cost growth, better quality care ?all seemed most attainable when the government was the one paying everybody's health care costs.

    1. SugarFree   11 years ago

      Tell that to all the people the VA let die in Arizona.

    2. mr simple   11 years ago

      Proof that you don't have to be good at math to be a doctor.

    3. BigT   11 years ago

      A good counter to this is to remind folks that single payer is a monopoly. That characterization never occurs to these idiots, but can wake the few who are not brain dead.

      1. tarran   11 years ago

        Actually, it combines the worst aspects of monopoly and monopsony (only one customer you are forced to sell to).

    4. VG Zaytsev   11 years ago

      He says he settled on the idea when he was thinking through the different goals he wanted to achieve

      Clearly, his wants are the only ones that matter.

  14. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    House Republicans find 10% of tea party donors audited by IRS
    Despite assurances to the contrary, the IRS didn't destroy all of the donor lists scooped up in its tea party targeting ? and a check of those lists reveals that the tax agency audited 10 percent of those donors, much higher than the audit rate for average Americans, House Republicans revealed Wednesday....

    1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

      "House Republicans" shot their wad on their miserably inept report that only 67% of ACA sign-ups had paid. The insurers said yesterday 85-90% had.

      IOW - I'll wait for a better source.

      1. John   11 years ago

        Like media matters. Go die in a fire you pathetic little retard.

      2. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

        Hey Weigel.

      3. R C Dean   11 years ago

        only 67% of ACA sign-ups had paid.

        True, when said. Their only scewup was in the timing.

        Prediction: if we ever manage to get good data on the actual coverage through the HIEs, it will be under 80% of signups. Of course, the administration, which could easily get that data, refuses to do so. That should give you a clue how bad it will be.

  15. Mokers   11 years ago

    Npr: Climate change could lead to malnutrition

    Not for those of us eating our gmo crops!

    1. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

      Is there anything climate change can't do. Climate change + commerce clause = fytw.

      1. Matrix   11 years ago

        Here's a list of problems that are blamed on global warming

        1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

          It seems coprehensive, and yet deep dish pizza doesn't make the list

          1. DontShootMe   11 years ago

            deep dish pizza isn't caused by global warming. Deep disk pizza causes global warming.

            1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

              I will see both of you on a field of honor, at dawn!

              *sharpens sabre and checks pistol flintlock*

              1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

                If you're challenging then I get to choose weapons. I choose these

                1. SugarFree   11 years ago

                  Not these?

                  (possibly NSFW)

                  1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

                    A bit difficult to use them at 20 paces. If we were doing a whore-off then they would be perfectly acceptable, of course

                2. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

                  Hmmm... ifh, that might take a while to deliver a wound that satisfies honor...you may win by simply outwaiting my wrath.

                  *mutters to self, walks off looking for a Lou Malnati's*

                  http://www.loumalnatis.com/

                  1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

                    Outfoxed so easily, eh? Where is the foeman worthy of my steel?

  16. Rich   11 years ago

    The legislation also limits the number of "hops" away from a terror suspect the government can investigate

    Define "investigate".

    *** dons Grammar Nazi hat ***

    MAY investigate!

    *** doffs Grammar Nazi hat ***

  17. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    OK, no more stories of Civil War re-enactors. Here's a husband-and-wife team of *Revolutionary War* re-enactors.

    "Marilyn, 75, portrays an officer's wife, a woman traveling with the Army or an 18th century prostitute."

    http://www.gazettextra.com/art...../140429729

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      75-year-old prostitutes? Um, no thank you.

      1. The Last American Hero   11 years ago

        War is hell.

      2. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

        71 year old prostitutes on the other hand...

        1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

          Dutch treat.

        2. Tejicano   11 years ago

          The "oldest" profession.

        3. Ted S.   11 years ago

          355,000 men over 50 years? That comes out to nine a day, every single day including weekends and holidays.

          1. Matrix   11 years ago

            Is that accounting for Leap Years?

  18. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Rare megamouth shark captured off Japan
    'Alien shark' was hauled from a depth of 2,600 feet; only 58 known sightings

    The FMNH website lists only 53 confirmed sightings of the megamouth shark. Either the site has not been updated or the museum lists only sightings that were 100 percent confirmed.

    Sightings have been made around the world, but most?at least 13?were made off the coast of Japan.

    The megamouth, believed to reach a maximum length of 17 feet, resides mostly at great depths, but rises toward the surface at night to feed.

    Never get out of the boat.

    1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

      If you are a krill, then you might be in danger, but I doubt that thing would come up to the surface and try to filter feed on you.

      1. SugarFree   11 years ago

        That's just the sort of shark-pandering that gets people eaten.

        1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

          Its...its...true!

          I AM A TOOL OF BIG SHARK.

          *sobs*

          They pay so well...in sharktooth necklaces!

          *runs away in shame*

          1. SugarFree   11 years ago

            AH-HA! I KNEW IT!

          2. Clich? Bandit   11 years ago

            I was watching about Deborah Scaling Kiley and her story of their boat sinking. Damn crazy stuff and yeah, never get out of the boat.

          3. Cdr Lytton   11 years ago

            How do you say "candygram" in Swiss?

      2. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

        I'm not going to fall for that trick.

        1. Lurking Shark   11 years ago

          ....damn....

          *slowly swims away*

          1. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

            I larfed (nice link too)

    2. Andrew S.   11 years ago

      It's a collosal-mouth bass!

  19. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Let Us Pray
    The Supreme Court gives its blessing for prayer at town meetings. Get ready for a lot more Jesus in your life.

    There will be a good deal of bitterness in the coming days among members of religious minorities and majorities who believe that the Town of Greece decision is just or unjust depending largely on how they feel about sectarian Christian prayers. But stepping back from the specific arguments of the plurality and dissent, it's fascinating to see how Kennedy and Justice Samuel Alito relentlessly characterize religion as an essentially peaceful, civilizing, lofty influence that seems to have more to do with social politeness than religious zeal. Kennedy's majority opinion contains the complete text of four prayers, presumably to calm and unify his stressed-out reader, and he writes lovingly of prayer that is "solemn and respectful in tone, that invites lawmakers to reflect upon shared ideals and common ends before they embark on the fractious business of governing." He seems unaware that for every solemn and respectful prayer, America offers up dozens of fiery, judgmental, even violent ones.

    1. Night Elf Mohawk   11 years ago

      All of which is irrelevant.

      Is a prayer at a town hall meeting Congress (or the state, if you like incorporation) making a law respecting establishment of religion? No? We're done here.

    2. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

      He seems unaware that for every solemn and respectful prayer, America offers up dozens of fiery, judgmental, even violent ones.

      You know, first of all, fuck Slate, and fuck whoever wrote this because based on this paragraph its a misinterpretation or misrepresentation of the ruling, etc. That said, why the fuck is your idiotic argument against the "ceremonial prayer" issue that some people have "violent" prayers, and not that some people don't find "solemn and respectful" prayers solemn and respectful at all, because they're fucking prayers?

      Some ally, Slate.

      1. John   11 years ago

        Elected officials have the right to say what they want at public meetings. If some guy wants to pray, that is his right. If the voters don't like it, that is a valid reason to vote him out of office.

        I really don't think we want to go down the road of "well some things just can't be said at public meetings by public officials." That won't end well. Of course the assholes at Slate would totally love to go down that road and have the government controlling what people can say at public meetings.

        1. tarran   11 years ago

          Actually, we could do with some violent churchy events... it would get the kids in.

        2. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

          Well, things public officials say really have nothing to do with this case, which I think was correctly decided based on precedent. I just think Slate has a completely absurd argument against such prayers. They're okay as long as they're touchy-feely? What kind of standard is that?

          1. John   11 years ago

            It isn't. The other thing is Slate would be up in arms if a court said a city official couldn't call anyone who questions global warming worse than a slave owner. Harsh language is only a problem when Slate doesn't like who is using it.

      2. tarran   11 years ago

        fiery, judgmental, even violent ones

        My goodness! Somehow I seem to only attend the solemn, respectful ones!

        1. BigT   11 years ago

          "I say goddamn, goddamn America" Very respectful.

  20. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

    The essential guide to this year's Eurovision

    http://www.popbitch.com/articl.....on2014.pdf

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      I've posted it before, but Here's an entry from Eurovision 2013.

      1. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

        This "It's My Life" is much.......better?

        1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

          Both squashed like tiny bugs by this "It's my life"

  21. Rich   11 years ago

    Harvard Will Host 'Reenactment' of Satanic Mass

    "While Black Masses are supposed to utilize a consecrated host, ours is merely representative of a consecrated host," Greaves told CNSNews.com. "It is not consecrated. We neither believe in nor invoke the supernatural."

    You a funny guy, Greaves.

    1. John   11 years ago

      The one take away from that article is what a tedious asshole Grieves is. It would be one thing if he actually believed in anything. He doesn't and just uses "Satanism" as an excuse to fuck with people and be a pain in the ass.

    2. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      "Our purpose is not to denigrate any religion or faith, which would be repugnant to our educational purposes but instead to learn and experience the history of different cultural practices. The performance is part of a larger effort to explore religious facts that continue to influence contemporary culture."

      http://www.breitbart.com/Big-G.....-Satanists

    3. R C Dean   11 years ago

      We neither believe in nor invoke the supernatural.

      I think what matters is whether the supernatural believes in you.

  22. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Rob Ford: 'Rehab Is Amazing'

    Mayor Rob Ford of Toronto is loving rehab. "Rehab is amazing. It reminds me of football camp. Kind of like the Washington Redskins camp I went to as a kid," he told the Toronto Sun. In a wide-ranging interview, the crack-smoking mayor also insisted that he will be running for mayor. "Of course, I am coming back and I am going to kick butt," he said. Ford would not say where the rehab center was, or address reports that he was turned away at the U.S. border. "I do feel bad about what happened, but it might have been the best thing that happened because I am working on getting better." Best of luck.

    1. Tim   11 years ago

      "You know, we're just not reaching that guy."

      http://www.cardcow.com/429732/.....-cartoons/

    2. Bam!   11 years ago

      Rehabs tend to have good drugs.

    3. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

      Is he sure that he isn't actually at football camp?

  23. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    ah-so...

    Law Students Push to License Dead Chinese Attorney

    In a decision still studied in law schools as a 19th century lesson in bigotry, the California Supreme Court in 1890 denied Hong Yeng Chang's application to practice law solely because he was Chinese.

    Now, students at a Northern California law school are working to right that ancient wrong. They hope to persuade the current court to reverse its 124-year-old decision.

    Students at the University of California, Davis, School of Law's Asian Pacific American Law Students Association and two professors have submitted an application to practice law to the State Bar of California on behalf of Chang. It is a first step before approaching the high court, which licenses California's attorneys.

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      Well, I'll say much for licensing a dead guy as a lawyer - no thefts from client accounts, no frivolous lawsuits...on the other hand, clients will have trouble getting their calls returned.

      1. tarran   11 years ago

        So kind of like having a lawyer who signs up for Comcast's business phone services?

      2. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

        On the other hand, it's kinda textbook ineffective assistance of counsel.

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Fuck the licensing laws.

    3. Apatheist ?_??   11 years ago

      Is he going to work for Morecombe, Slant & Honeyplace?

  24. John   11 years ago

    http://www.breitbart.com/Big-H.....y-abortion

    The fascist mob shows up again. The only response to this is for everyone to now boycott HGTV because they rolled to the mob. We can now wage our political and culture wars on home improvement shows. Politicizing every single fucking thing in life is just so great isn't it?

    1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

      Eh, the Breitbart headline seems a little misleading. HGTV didn't say why they pulled the show, but it appears it is mostly because of their views on gay marriage and homosexuality, not their anti-abortion views.

      1. John   11 years ago

        but it appears it is mostly because of their views on gay marriage and homosexuality,

        And that makes any difference? How about we stop giving a shit about what people's political views are when deciding to hire them to do something non political?

        1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

          I agree, I was just pointing out a minor detail.

          Not to mention, due some background work before you start filming a show.

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      HGTV should be avoided regardless of their beliefs.

      1. Night Elf Mohawk   11 years ago

        It's staged as hell, but Househunters International contains some decent info.

      2. Idle Hands   11 years ago

        I don't know what it is about house hunters but it manages to draw me in everytime.

    3. mr simple   11 years ago

      It's a good thing we have the mob to tell us what to think and purge anyone who gets out of line. Diversity of thought is dangerous.

  25. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    Sylvia Mathews Burwell, President Obama's pick to replace Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, will appear before the first of two Senate confirmation hearings today.

    Where a rigorous examination of her job skills and qualifications will be conducted.

    1. hamilton   11 years ago

      "What is your experience with large-scale e-commerce sites?"

      "Do you know Java?"

      "What format do you prefer for daily scrums?"

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        Excellent.

      2. DontShootMe   11 years ago

        The daily scrums should be easy, since every user story ends with "FYTW"

  26. hamilton   11 years ago

    Well, the Nigerian kidnapping thing is now finally being addressed with a proper foreign policy response from the White House - the First Lady's has Tweeted about it.

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      Now they're shaking in their shoes.

    2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      What the heck was that?

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        #WDATPDIM

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

          Seriously, how much more infantile can you get? You're running the most powerful nation on earth ACT LIKE IT!

          1. hamilton   11 years ago

            Why so butthurt? This one action essentially characterizes the entire foreign policy strategy of the administration from day one.

            1. Rich   11 years ago

              "Well, Bush lined up the UN first!"

        2. db   11 years ago

          What the fuck is the first "D" for?

          1. R C Dean   11 years ago

            Dog whistle?

          2. db   11 years ago

            Oh, "difference." Brain cart.

  27. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Now who hasn't done this?

    Worcester Man Allegedly Caught Riding On Top of Moving Train While Wearing a Sombrero

    According to Transit Police officers, over the weekend a Worcester man was apprehended after he was allegedly caught riding on top of a moving Commuter Rail train bound for his hometown, while wearing a sombrero and a poncho.

    Officers said they responded to the Southborough Commuter Rail station on Saturday, May 3, at 9:45 p.m., where officials from the Southborough and Ashland Police Departments had detained the suspect in question. Officers said in a report that the sombrero-wearing individual appeared intoxicated upon arrival.

    "The man wore a sombrero and poncho and said he wasn't going to lie. The man admitted to drinking a large quantity of alcoholic beverages during a pub crawl in Boston," police said.

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      And the guy made it all the way from Boston to Woostah?

    2. Tejicano   11 years ago

      Beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy - but - Tequila is proof that the devil wants you to hear his side of the story.

      1. R C Dean   11 years ago

        Sweet. Totally stealing that.

        Although I'm doing more of a mezcal thing these days for sipping booze. Like Scotch, only made from cactus. Perfect for Tucson.

  28. Jordan   11 years ago

    Outstanding news out of Minnesota!

    In a big win for property rights and due process, Minnesota Gov. Mark Dayton signed a bill yesterday to curb an abusive?and little known?police practice called civil forfeiture. Unlike criminal forfeiture, under civil forfeiture someone does not have to be convicted of a crime, or even charged with one, to permanently lose his or her cash, car or home.

    The newly signed legislation, SF 874, corrects that injustice. Now the government can only take property if it obtains a criminal conviction or its equivalent, like if a property owner pleads guilty to a crime or becomes an informant.

    1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

      Except that local police departments will just partner with the feds to get at what they want, just like they do in other places where the state or locality doesn't allow it.

      1. Jordan   11 years ago

        Yes, it will still occur at the federal level. However, the Feds just don't have the resources to be everywhere. This will put a huge dent in the ability of the local PD to fuck people over.

    2. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

      What, you mean due process? I thought that went away with other archaic practices.

  29. John   11 years ago

    The John Doe Probes in Wisconsin end, but they served their purpose.

    The Wisconsin Club for Growth spent some $8 million on advertising or grants to other groups in 2012 during the recall campaign against Mr. Walker. In 2013 it spent $1.7 million but has been silent since the John Doe subpoenas hit in October.

    http://online.wsj.com/news/art.....0710504208

    The Left are full on fascist. They are not even pretending anymore.

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      Obama warned of "a self-fulfilling prophesy" during a midterm election year where "people who have the most at stake in a government that works opt out of the system; those who don't believe government can do anything are empowered; gridlock reigns, and we got this downward spiral of even more cynicism and more dysfunction. And we have to break out of that cycle ...."

      So, when will the round-ups begin in earnest?

      1. John   11 years ago

        At 30% of the country and 90% of the media are masturbating at the thought.

      2. tarran   11 years ago

        My daughter's orthodontist told me he and his wife were forced to purchase pediatric dental coverage for their kids. His wife is a pediatric dentist - one of the best in Metrowest Boston, in fact.

        I missed my chance to remind him that he should be grateful for a government that works.

      3. Lady Bertrum   11 years ago

        People opting out - So, wreckers and hoarders then?

        1. Tejicano   11 years ago

          You forgot the Kulaks. Somehow I doubt they will.

      4. R C Dean   11 years ago

        So, when will the round-ups begin in earnest?

        The day they do, will be the day I keep the M1A loaded with a spare clip within arms reach when I go to bed at night.

  30. Bardas Phocas   11 years ago

    In days-old holocaust denial news -
    http://www.sbsun.com/social-af.....assignment
    Eighth-grade teachers will undergo sensitivity training at the Museum of Tolerance
    Haha. Take that anomous eighth-grade teachers!

    1. Jordan   11 years ago

      Eighth-grade teachers will undergo sensitivity training at the Museum of Tolerance

      Holy shit. That's really a thing? I need to go rewatch that South Park episode.

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Take that anomous eighth-grade teachers!

      Did you mean "anonymous" or "amorous"?

      Or maybe "venomous"?

    3. Juice   11 years ago

      Here, intolerance will not be tolerated!

  31. KB Check Release   11 years ago

    Warty...

    Who's it gonna be for the Dawgs tonight?

    I'm hoping Sammy Watkins but thinking it's going to be Johnny football. So much bust potential there.

    1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

      They'd be better off taking Watkins at 4 (if he's there) and hoping that Bridgewater falls to 26.

      There are a lot of rumors that Manziel will fall to 16 and the Cowboys will take him. As an Eagles fan, that would be the greatest thing ever.

      1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

        Because Chip Kelly also has a boner for Manziel and he might also be tempted?

        1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

          Chip doesn't want Johnny Football.

          I want Marquise Lee at 22.

          1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

            I am a Ravens fan, so I will stay up to see them trade out of the first.

    2. hamilton   11 years ago

      hamilton's rules of the NFL draft:

      1. Never, ever, ever take a receiver or running back in the first round.

      2. When in doubt, take the best available OL or DL. In that order.

      1. Warty   11 years ago

        This is good advice. The one Browns game a year I go to, I pretty much just watch Joe Thomas the whole game. That way I can pretend the rest of the team is as good as him.

        1. hamilton   11 years ago

          I totally do not understand why the Browns (or other teams) don't follow this. And actually, I'd even add a corollary: if there isn't a quarterback that you absolutely love and think is going to be amazing, don't take a first round quarterback. Even if you suck. Just. Don't. Do. It. Take a bunch of top OL prospects, get yourself a damn good line, put a free agent QB and RB with a few years' each of experience behind it, and you'll be shocked at the improvement in your offense.

          1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

            The Browns do have a good line, just no one to throw and run the ball.

            I disagree with the WR advice, if they take Watkins to go with Morgan and Cameron, then any qb they do take should have enough options to look competent.

          2. Rasilio   11 years ago

            This is solid advice.

            I think you can take WR's in the 1st round but it should be in the 2nd half of it and you should probably avoid taking a CB in the top 10 but there are probably rare exceptions.

            As far as QB's go, yeah you occasionally get a Luck/Griffin year where there are legitimate can't miss prospects where their floor is average 10 year starter that you take a QB early but this year lacks that and the seperation between the best and the 5th best QB in the draft is so small you're better off waiting till the 2nd round.

            For the Browns, If Mack or Clowney somehow slip to 4 you take them. If not you see what you can get in trade with Watkins being the backup option if you can't get a good enough deal.

            For my team, The Pats, I hope they trade back out of the 1st, pick up an extra pick or two next year, then grab a WR and either DL or DB in the 2nd. I also wouldn't be too upset if instead they drafted a developmental QB in the 2nd cause Brady clearly showed declining skills last year and probably only has 2 - 3 years left in him at most.

            1. John   11 years ago

              I would be terrified to draft Clowny. Yes, he is a physical freak of freaks. The problem is that he is so gifted I don't think he has ever had to learn any technique or play particularly hard. He will have to do both to be a great player in the NFL. If you draft him you are betting that he can do that. I am not sure that is a good bet.

      2. KB Check Release   11 years ago

        The problem though hamilton, is that I really don't think the Browns need either O line or D line help that badly.

        Another linebacker...yes

        Another Corner...yes

        1. hamilton   11 years ago

          LB's and CB's do not break my rule; OL and DL are just my defaults. Another way of thinking about it: I think a 3rd-5th round draft pick at a skill position with two years' of actual NFL experience is more valuable that a 1st-2nd with zero.

      3. KDN   11 years ago

        1 should be modified: never take a short receiver in the first round. Some really fast slot guy gets picked way too high every year because of his 40 time and ends up as a punt returner after failing to live up to his supposed potential.

        This year it will be Brandin Cooks to the Jets and I will cry because they really don't need another Jeremy Kerley, especially since they already signed one this offseason.

    3. Warty   11 years ago

      I kind of want it to be Johnny Football. Sure, he'll be a huge failure, but he'll be an entertaining huge failure. None of this Weeden throwing huge bombs to the other team shit, I want to see Manziel running around all crazy for 20 seconds, then throwing the ball to the other team.

      As for what I want? I dunno. Watkins at 4 and whichever QB is left at 26 sounds good to me.

      1. John   11 years ago

        I don't think he will be a huge failure. I think he is as good as Russel Wilson. He seems very coachable. He came off winning the Heisman and got better. His throwing was much better last year and will continue to get better.

        He also played on a terrible team with a terrible coach that had no defense and gave him no margin for error yet never once complained about it. He is an obnoxious little shit but you watch he is going to do well.

        1. Warty   11 years ago

          Maybe, but I'm not about to be optimistic. After years of valiant effort, I stopped having any hope for the impostor Browns during the time of Brady Quinn. It's better this way.

          The circus he brings to town would be entertaining, too. Some star power in this place would be nice.

          1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

            Warty,

            Need advice on starting to do squats - I have been deadlifting for a little bit now and like the gains I have made and want to add squats (people that do them regularly seem to have much more back comfort, etc) - how much should I start out trying to do, number of reps reps, etc. Any advice for this noob is appreciated.

            1. Warty   11 years ago

              Put the bar wherever it's comfortable on your back. Lower is better in the sense that it improves your leverages, but it's not that big of a deal. Unrack the bar, take a step back. Take a moderately deep breath, tighten your midsection and especially your lower back. Descend until you can't descend any more without unlocking your back or otherwise relaxing, then come back up. Your hips will want to rise faster than your chest, so don't let your chest collapse. Shove your knees out hard to make room for your belly. Keep your weight balanced on your mid-foot, i.e., don't let your heels come up off the ground. Don't look up. Stare at a dot on the wall in front of you.

              There are two dirty mnemonics I tell people who ask me how to squat.
              1: Don't shit on your feet, shit on the floor.
              2: Show the guy behind you your ass. Show the guy in front of you your tits and your dick.

              Do sets of 5 for now. Start with the empty bar and go up in 10-20 pound jumps until it starts to feel hard. After you've found that weight, call it a day. Next time you come back, warm up with progressively heavier weights, then go to the weight you ended on last time and do 3-5 sets of 5. The next time, warm up and do 3-5 sets of 5 with 10 pounds more. Continue this until you can't any more.

              Don't squat in running shoes. Use Sambas or Chuck Taylors or Olympic lifting shoes or no shoes at all.

              That's pretty much it. Send me an email and I can go into more detail.

              1. John   11 years ago

                Warty,

                What do you think about Mark Riptoe? Instapundit is always shilling for him. He seems to believe in heavy lifting and squats and reject any kind of repetitive endurance work.

                1. Warty   11 years ago

                  Rip is who I want to be when I grow up. His books are great. He's more dogmatic than me, but I think that's because he's old and crotchety and he's tired of answering the same questions.

                2. RBS   11 years ago

                  I like Rip for what he his, a highly opinionated, ornery as fuck old school lifter. His training advice is great for novices and intermediates to a point (which is really all he claims anyway). Just don't be the guy still doing SS 3 years from now, microloading with .25lb plates...

                  1. Warty   11 years ago

                    Just don't be the guy still doing SS 3 years from now, microloading with .25lb plates...

                    These people demonstrate a lack of understanding. Do the linear progression for a while, then pick one of Bill Starr's programs and do it for many years.

              2. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

                Thanks! You will forgive me if I try to come up with my own mnemonics? I will start with that - if I need more, I will email.

            2. Warty   11 years ago

              Two videos to emulate. They're different styles, but both are perfect.

              one

              two

              1. John   11 years ago

                I need to look into that. My problem is that I am stuck taking an Army PT test twice a year. I have to be able to do pushups, situps and run two miles. I find I can be in great shape but not be that good at those three things unless I practice those things. It limits my workouts a bit.

                1. Tejicano   11 years ago

                  Push-ups - do them 3 to 4 time a week. Work up until you are doing 50 in one set without a break. Then do a 50 rep set 3 to 4 times a week. Ramp it up a month before the APFT and you will max for your age.

                  Sit-ups - get used to doing GHD sit-ups in a Roman Chair. Work up until you can do 25-30 in one set. Do that 3 to 4 times a week. A month before the APFT start doing two-minute drills of Army sit-ups.

                  Running is running - very different for each individual and lots of advice on-line. (I personally think box jumps are great for building fast twitch muscle = speed)

                  I'm 55 and almost maxed the APFT last year. My current lifestyle constrains my workout time to 0600-0645 (AM). Sux but it's do-able.

        2. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

          I get that people hate him because he is a cocky asshole, but I don't understand why everyone thinks he will fail.

          1. Warty   11 years ago

            I don't know if he'll fail, necessarily, but if the impostor Browns take him, I know that his failure is guaranteed. Thanks for stealing the real Browns, you fuck. This is all your fault.

            1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

              🙁

              At least we both hate the Steelers?

              1. Warty   11 years ago

                Everyone hates the Steelers.

                1. Lord at War   11 years ago

                  Yup.

                  They hate the Steelers so much that the Steelers will have 20-30 thousand fans in their home stadium.

          2. John   11 years ago

            Me either. Did you watch the A&M Alabama game last year? He played a nearly perfect game. He made one mistake where he under threw a fade and got intercepted in the end zone. That was it. But A&M's defense was so terrible making even one mistake was too many.

            1. Night Elf Mohawk   11 years ago

              Did you watch the LSU game? Yeah, he played well against Alabama but he made his stats on the Stephen F Austins of the world. Against actual defenses, even with a pretty good receiver and probably 3 first round O linemen, he wasn't much.

              1. John   11 years ago

                He was a lot against Alabama and they had last I looked a pretty good defense. And he played in the SEC and had two of the greatest statistical seasons in history. Yes, the SEC is overall very overrated, but it isn't that overrated. He was a hell of a player in college.

                1. Night Elf Mohawk   11 years ago

                  I guess you missed it the first time.

                  Take SMU, South Carolina State, Louisiana Tech, and Sam Houston State out of his "greatest statistical season in history."

                  1. John   11 years ago

                    NEM,

                    Every college team has easy teams on their schedule. So every other player's season statistics are boosted in the same way. So Manziel's season long stats still are comparable. It is not like everyone else never had an easy game.

            2. Warty   11 years ago

              Another reason to like him is his utter contempt for the NCAA's bullshit rules. Didn't he get rich in college by creating some sort of sham corporation that A&M donors bought $500 tshirts or something from? Fuck it, I definitely want him now.

              1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                I can see you and him hanging out in the offseason in Cleveland, kind of like Murtaugh and Riggs. You being too old for this shit. He starts off great, but then a horribly sordid scandal ends his career. You're to blame, but the press ignores your involvement.

                1. Warty   11 years ago

                  Do you really wanna jump? Do you wanna? Well then, that's fine with me. Let's do it, asshole!

                  1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

                    I'll send you a check if the Browns draft him and you get him to do that. Will you get him heavily into Three Stooges' behavior? I mean, like on the field?

          3. Rasilio   11 years ago

            Lots of reasons.

            First off is the long record of cocky asshole college QB's who came into the NFL and did just that.

            Second, he is a running QB who is smaller than a lot of WR's, even if his talent level is off the charts the odds of him being healthy more than 10 -12 games a season is small.

            I don't see very much risk of him being a total waste of a draft pick like Ryan Leaf or Jamarcus Russell, I think reasonable projections will show him to have a career somewhere between Michael Vick and Vince Young which would be good value for a late 1st or early 2nd round pick but not worth a top 10 pick in the draft.

            1. John   11 years ago

              He will be a lot better than Young. Young was a knucklehead in a way Manziel isn't and Young is really stupid, as in low IQ too dumb to understand the offensive system stupid, which Manziel is not.

              Manziel is significantly bigger and a better passer than Vick. Vick is a lot faster than Manziel. That said, Vick has been a very good quarterback for the most part. He only has had injury issues since he came back from prison. He was very reliable before that. I doubt Manziel will end up in prison.

              If Manziel is another Micheal Vick, sans dog killing, he should be the top pick in the draft.

              1. Rasilio   11 years ago

                Vick is listed at 6' 215 lbs, Manziel is listed at 6'1" 209.

                They are basically the exact same size

                Johnny Manziel 40 time - 4.68
                Michael Vick 40 time - 4.25

                So Vick is a bit faster and Manziel is probably a bit better of a passer but ultimately they are similar players.

                Also while Vince Young was too screwed up in the head to have a long career he did have a pretty good 5 year stretch to start it so using him as the worst case scenario still makes Manziel pretty good.

                Where I disagree with you is the claim that a player who would mirror Michael Vick without the dog fighting conviction is a slam dunk #1 overall pick. Even with perfect foreknowledge I would not take that guy #1 overall as I would rather have Clowney, Robinsion, Mack, and Watkins over him because that playing style will make having a quality backup a necessity and require me to way overspend on the qb position relative to the rest of my team

                1. John   11 years ago

                  Vick was an all pro who won multiple playoff games as a started. It is a quarterback driven league. If the draft fairy visited the Texans this afternoon and told them with 100% certainty that Manziel would make all pro and lead them to multiple playoff wins, they would draft him number 1.

                  1. Rasilio   11 years ago

                    Matt Hasselback was an All Pro and won multiple playoff games, does that mean that a player guaranteed to have his career should be #1 overall?

        3. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

          He was great in college, but I'm uncomfortable with his pro prospects. I don't think he will be a bust, but I have a feeling he's going to have a problem with turnovers. He might pan out, but I'm not going to be thrilled if the Bucs take him.

          One thing he had in college that a team drafting him better have is a stellar line and jump-ball receivers.

          1. BigT   11 years ago

            Manzel won't outrun the pro DLs. He'll get hurt or wash out in a couple years.

            1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

              I tend to think so, too. It depends, really, on where he ends up. A great line and big receivers could work with him.

              Of course, I also still think the same could be said of Tebow, though he requires even a more specialized offense.

  32. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Charlie Crist didn't leave the Republican party because of racism. He left it because he couldn't win a primary.

    Having closely covered the 2010 Senate race, Crist's assertion that the Republican party's views on race -- and, in particular, its views on President Obama -- are what led him to leave the party doesn't jibe with what actually happened. "He was happy as a Republican when the polls showed him leading Marco Rubio by 20 points," said Adam Smith, the political editor at the Tampa Bay Times. "Apparently he discovered racism in the party after the polls showed him trailing Rubio by 20 points."

    1. John   11 years ago

      He just couldn't take it how those racist Republicans wanted to nominate a Cuban guy.

      1. VG Zaytsev   11 years ago

        Maybe he thinks they're racist for opposing an uber white guy like Charlie Crisp.

    2. Warty   11 years ago

      It's too bad his career fizzled out. I would have liked to live in a world where Lionel Hutz was president.

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        "Works on contingency? No, money down!"

      2. Lady Bertrum   11 years ago

        I see him more as the Saul Goodman of politics.

        1. BakedPenguin   11 years ago

          Saul was nowhere near as socio- / psychopathic as Crist. The way he was played, you could tell he had actual human emotions.

          I could see Crist having the exact same phony smile whether he was having sex, talking to a crowd, or choking an infant to death.

          1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

            I now have an image of him doing all three simultaneously. Thanks BP!

          2. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

            How anyone could vote for him is beyond comprehension. I bet Charlie even votes for Scott when he gets in the booth ("I'm pretty dangerous, maybe it would be better for the world if I didn't win. Besides, my tan is fading.")

  33. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    Senator Hatch-et man denounces possible Obama clemency decrees as unconstitutional:

    http://www.pardonpower.com/201.....wg.twitter

    1. John   11 years ago

      Another fucker that needs to be primaried.

    2. Juice   11 years ago

      Even though it's not Hatch's dumb argument, the constitution does seem to limit the pardon power to federal cases.

      ...and he shall have Power to grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offences against the United States...

      but I don't like to go around saying that out loud.

      1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

        Oh, I certainly agree, but Hatch goes further, He yammers:

        "In the face of this most basic constitutional requirement, the President has apparently instead decided to use?or, rather, abuse?the clemency power in an attempt to rewrite sentencing law unilaterally. His invocation of clemency is merely a fig leaf to disguise a blatant effort to usurp legislative authority."

        I would contrast this with Kathleen Dean Moore's study of the actual practice of pardons, you know, in the real world:

        "the accumulated weight of pardons can drive reform, focusing attention on the unjust law and bringing pressure to bear against it."

        http://www.amazon.com/Pardons-.....c+interest

        1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

          But the Hatch section of the R party is doubling down on the stupid, attacking a just and necessary - and constitutional - exercise of Presidential power (at least a *predicted* exercise of Pres power).

          And when a Rep president is in the White House, then Hatch will be defending any pardon he may choose to grant.

  34. Andrew S.   11 years ago

    http://appalachianareanews.com.....eve-drugs/

    In case the link itself isn't bad enough:

    The documents go on to say that the officer threw him to the ground, cuffed him and pepper-sprayed him. The autopsy report also found that the teens neck was restrained.

    The Smith family lawsuit claims police told paramedics the 17-year-old swallowed a bag of drugs.

    In an effort to retrieve the alleged bag, the lawsuit says police had to shove a sharp object into the teenagers throat. Lawyers for the Smiths say drugs were never found in his throat or stomach.

    The autopsy report confirms this, stating that there was no indication of anything unusual found in the teens body.

    1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

      stating that there was no indication of anything unusual found in the teens body.

      Apart from the sharp object shoved into his throat, of course

    2. Juice   11 years ago

      Looks like the taxpayers are really going to pay this time.

    3. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

      They had to kill him in order to save him from the dangerous scourge of drugzzzzzzz

  35. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Woman With Printer Shows the Digital Ease of Bogus Cash

    Tarshema Brice hardly ranks among the world's elite counterfeiters. But with the help of modern consumer technology, she developed an exacting system for crafting fake U.S. greenbacks.

    First, the 34-year-old hairstylist and janitor took $5 bills with a specific watermark and soaked them with "Purple Power" degreaser. Next, she scrubbed off the ink with a toothbrush. After drying the now-blank notes with a hair dryer, she fed them through a Hewlett-Packard (HPQ) Co. 3-in-1 inkjet printer that emblazoned them with scanned images of $50 or $100 bills.

    The counterfeits looked and felt real and could pass any rudimentary test by a retail clerk. Brice, who pleaded guilty to counterfeiting last month in federal court, admits she produced between $10,000 and $20,000 in fake bills over two years before her scam unraveled in September.

    Needs more To Live and Die in L.A. soundtrack.

    1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

      Obviously we need to ban home printers.

      1. Clich? Bandit   11 years ago

        Ya know...as far as I KNOW you can't print gold/silver...well maybe you can but in order to print it you need the gold/silver first...just saying.

    2. John   11 years ago

      She must have gotten really greedy and stupid or she wouldn't have gotten caught. First, do it with $20s not $50s. The twenties are much less noticeable to clerks. Second, just print enough of them for a few luxuries. Do that and I bet you would never get caught.

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        She was engaging in quantitative easing.

        Also, I'm reminded of Mister 880.

        1. John   11 years ago

          I always laugh about concerns over North Korea counterfeiting US Bills. Suppose they made a billion $100 bills. The ged does that in like a week.

    3. Bam!   11 years ago

      Ironically, the Feds constant changing of the designs over the past 10 years in the name of counter-counterfeiting has made it easier to pass poorly made counterfeit bills, as people are less familiar with the subtleties of the real designs.

    4. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

      It's because of the paper stock. You can fake ink colors but it's hard to fake the stock used (which has fiber in it). And pens that test for counterfeit bills are testing the paper.

  36. Rich   11 years ago

    If the Yellowstone supervolcano erupts then millions of U.S. citizens could end up in Brazil, Australia, or Argentina.

    ifh, do you know anything about this?

    1. Drake   11 years ago

      But they will still have to pay the IRS.

    2. John   11 years ago

      It erupts every 600,0000 years or so. It has been 640,000 or so years since the last eruption. When it does erupt it will pretty much wipe out the Rocky Mountains and plains. No one knows when.

      When you consider the scale of time involved, we could be comparatively a hair breath away from the next eruption and it still not happen for a couple of thousand years.

      1. Isaac Bartram   11 years ago

        And to think there are people worried about Global WarmingClimate Change which even the most alarmist predictions call for the some places to have temperature increases of less than 2^C.

        Between the Yellowstone caldera blowing its stack and the New Madrid
        Fault suddenly shifting I think there are a shitload of things people need to be worrying about way more.

        Of course, if any of those tings happen, not to mention the inevitable typically historical hurricane, they will find a way to blame it on Climate Change.

        1. Lord at War   11 years ago

          Not to mention a stray asteroid or comet...

    3. Tim   11 years ago

      Just another Doomsday thing.

    4. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

      Well I'll put a couple of you up on my sofas in an emergency, but I control the remote and you can't eat mandarins. Cool?

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        Even if I bring our own mandarins? Are you allergic or something?

        1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

          Just hate the smell, is all. That and hard-boiled eggs. If you're bringing anything, bring some Scotch

          1. Rich   11 years ago

            OK!

          2. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

            You have a deal!

            Dalwhinnie 15 year old OK?

            1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

              aaah it's mother's milk

            2. Clich? Bandit   11 years ago

              I will bring Cardhu, Balvenie Doublewood, and Laphroig, does that mean I get my own shelf in the fridge?

              1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

                Until they've all been drunk, yes. After that you're on bin duty.

                1. Clich? Bandit   11 years ago

                  You don't require we eat vegemite do you...cause that may be a deal breaker. I will sleep on Uluru before I eat that shit.

          3. Rasilio   11 years ago

            would Scotch Eggs be ok?

            1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

              sorry Rasilio, you'll have to buddy up to a Brazilian or take your chances with the lava

              1. Rasilio   11 years ago

                If it's that Brazilian chick who was auctioning off her virginity last year I won't complain

      2. hamilton   11 years ago

        What do you have against the Chinese?

    5. Jordan   11 years ago

      Bring it. I'll gladly relocate to Australia. Goddamn amazing SCUBA diving.

    6. PD Scott   11 years ago

      "South Africa will not be part of the plan, because there is a risk that millions of white Americans could be sent to South Africa in an emergency situation and that this would pose a risk to black national culture identity," Dr. Siph Matwetwe, spokesman for the Department of Foreign Affairs, is quoted as saying.

      Racist.

      1. Redmanfms   11 years ago

        I'm almost certain this story is abject bullshit.

        I searched for this Dr. Siph Matwetwe character and the only hits are reprints of this story on nutter websites.

  37. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Boko Haram and the Isolationists

    Perhaps it is too much to ask people to be consistent. But the isolationists who want no part of the global war being waged on the West by Islamist terrorists need to remember that the consequences of our indifference to their crimes are serious. The U.S. may not be able to solve every problem in the world or be its policeman. Yet neither can we pretend that the horrors perpetrated by these Islamists have nothing to do with us. Anyone expressing outrage about Nigeria should remember that the U.S. has made a conscious decision to ignore crimes just as bad in Syria and have set in motion a train of events that may lead to even worse in Afghanistan.

    1. SugarFree   11 years ago

      The U.S. may not be able to solve every problem in the world or be its policeman.

      "But, dammit, we have to try!"

    2. Sevo   11 years ago

      "Yet neither can we pretend that the horrors perpetrated by these Islamists have nothing to do with us."

      OK, how about the Norks? Why not them?
      Sorry, there are people who are directly affected and need to get off their butts.

    3. Rasilio   11 years ago

      Didn't France have a military unit, stationed right up the road in Chad, designed for just this type of work?

  38. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    Worcester man was apprehended after he was allegedly caught riding on top of a moving Commuter Rail train bound for his hometown, while wearing a sombrero and a poncho.

    If he tried that little stunt in Arizona, he'd he shot by an ICE sniper hanging out the side door of a helicopter.

    Also, did he have a pair of low slung shiny toy six shooters, and bandoliers across his chest?

    1. Lord at War   11 years ago

      ?Ay yi yi yi,
      I am the Frito bandito.?

      (Yup. I'm probably as old as you.)

  39. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Obama Unleashes the Left
    How the government created a federal hunting license for the far left.

    In the Harvard Crimson, recently, an undergraduate columnist wrote: "Let's give up on academic freedom in favor of justice." How would that work? "When an academic community observes research promoting or justifying oppression, it should ensure that this research does not continue." She explicitly cited for suppression the work of conservative Harvard government professor Harvey Mansfield.

    It's obvious that the far left has decided there are no longer constraints on what it can do to anyone who disagrees with it. How did this happen? Who let the dogs out?

    The answer is not university presidents. The answer is that the Obama administration let the dogs out.

    1. John   11 years ago

      As I said above, they are a full on fascist mob.

      1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

        "Does Government Professor Harvey Mansfield have the legal right to publish a book in which he claims that "to resist rape a woman needs ? a certain ladylike modesty?" Probably. Do I think he should do that? No, and I would happily organize with other feminists on campus to stop him from publishing further sexist commentary under the authority of a Harvard faculty position. "Academic freedom" might permit such an offensive view of rape to be published; academic justice would not."

        http://www.thecrimson.com/colu.....m-justice/

        1. John   11 years ago

          Does he have a "right to do that"? Sure. Of course I will happily organize a mob to ensure he loses his job and if necessary burn down his house to ensure he doesn't publish it.

          Yeah, that sounds so much better when she puts it that way.

          Ultimately, the only thing to do is create new institutions to destroy and ultimately replace the colleges. The leftists' have gotten their fangs in too deep for them to be saved.

          1. Bardas Phocas   11 years ago

            Agree.
            They own the academy now, so just walk away. And when they object to the lose of the massive public subsidies being cut, usually with a lot of noise about "academic freedom" - remind them that it's really about "academic justice".

            Also, replace colleges with cyborgs.

          2. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

            Exactly - like private companies replacing the U.S. Postal Service - don't wait for bad institutions to reform itself, just work around them and make them increasingly irrelevant.

          3. mr simple   11 years ago

            But think of how many jobs will be created at the Ministry of Truth.

          4. R C Dean   11 years ago

            At some point in the mid-term future, hundreds to thousands of colleges will close.

            The "elite" nomenklatura colleges will survive, as will, I believe some of the third-tier schools, but most of the second tier will either be gone or drastically downsized.

            Its what happens when bubbles pop.

    2. WDATPDIM?!   11 years ago

      In Unlearning Liberty, Lukianoff (the FIRE guy) argues that 30 years of campus culture have created this.

      1. John   11 years ago

        The comments at the Daily Princeton to the guy who wrote the "Check my Privilege" article were scary and depressing. These were Princeton students and they were incapable of making a coherent argument or having anything but an emotional and childish reaction to anyone making a point they didn't like. It is learned ignorance and hatred all around. It is the death of the Enlightenment.

        1. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

          They weren't all from Princeton kids. The one I was so disturbed by said he went to Stanford.

          1. John   11 years ago

            Just think Nikki, that little bastard will probably be working for the State Department right out of college. We are Doomed!!

        2. Drake   11 years ago

          Ah, the Woodrow Wilson School of Government.

  40. WDATPDIM?!   11 years ago

    The House voted yesterday to hold Lois Lerner, the former head of the tax-exempt division at the IRS, in contempt.

    THIS WHOLE CONGRESS IS OUT OF ORDER!!

    1. Jordan   11 years ago

      YOU NEED ME ON THAT WALL!

    2. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      MY NOTES ARE OUT OF ORDER! THE VENDING MACHINE IN THE LOBBY IS OUT OF ORDER! MEMENTO IS OUT OF ORDER!

  41. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

    A dinosaur throws a better first pitch than the President.

    1. Jordan   11 years ago

      Nobody will ever top this first pitch (South Korean rhythmic gymnast hotness ahead).

      1. Carl ?s his privilege   11 years ago

        Whoa, those stands are practically empty.

        1. hamilton   11 years ago

          There were stands in that video?

        2. Clich? Bandit   11 years ago

          I almost chocked watching that...She is one smoking hot chick and evidently 'flexible"

      2. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

        The first pitch is a stupid tradition (IMO) but more attractive women throwing it out would make it better.

        1. Ted S.   11 years ago

          Not as stupid as singing the national anthem before the game.

          1. Jordan   11 years ago

            How about having jets fly over?

            1. Ted S.   11 years ago

              747s, or military jets?

      3. Ted S.   11 years ago

        Rhythmic gymnasts are hot? I thought they were emaciated to the point that even sarcasmic wouldn't want them.

        1. Jordan   11 years ago

          DAT ASS doesn't lie.

        2. SugarFree   11 years ago

          Rhythmic gymnasts are generally ballerinas whose boobs got too big. I see nothing wrong with that as a body type.

          1. R C Dean   11 years ago

            Rhythmic gymnasts are generally ballerinas whose boobs got too big. I see nothing wrong with that as a body type.

    2. RBS   11 years ago

      You'd think the president would practice a little before taking the mound.

    3. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

      And this is "developing news" on MSNBC?

  42. Rich   11 years ago

    "Life on Earth in all its diversity is encoded by only two pairs of DNA bases, A-T and C-G. And what we've made is an organism that stably contains those two plus a third, unnatural pair of bases."

    Note to self: Re-watch "I Am Legend".

  43. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    "In case you haven't heard about Rep. John Conyers', D-Mich., problems, his primary opponent is trying to get him thrown off the ballot. And it might work. The problem is that Conyers only just barely handed in enough valid petition signatures to make the ballot. Hundreds of those may now be thrown out because they were gathered by people who weren't registered to vote.

    "So the story just got a lot weirder today. It turns out one of Conyers' signature gatherers wasn't just a non-voter ? he was actually a fugitive. Daniel Pennington was convicted of felony home invasion two years ago and sentenced to a year in jail. Then he just plain didn't show up at the jail to serve his sentence. Instead, he was out visiting hundreds of homes, gathering signatures for Conyers at 75 cents a pop."

    http://www.conservativeintel.c.....-sentence/

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      "Then he just plain didn't show up at the jail to serve his sentence. Instead, he was out visiting hundreds of homes, gathering signatures for Conyers at 75 cents a pop."

      LOL

      1. John   11 years ago

        What is wrong with Conyers giving a man a second chance?

        1. R C Dean   11 years ago

          Nothing.

          After he serves his sentence.

  44. Old Johnnie Goggabie   11 years ago

    ...and the Cosmotarians all cried bitter tears.

    1. Jordan   11 years ago

      Derp

  45. Carl ?s his privilege   11 years ago

    At risk of Sug accusing me of using HampR as an "OkCupid chatroom" again: tarran, would you care to email me?

    1. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

      Wait, you guys are sleeping together?

      1. Carl ?s his privilege   11 years ago

        He isn't Asian or Sasha Roiz, is he?

        Then probably not.

        1. SugarFree   11 years ago

          All we know about taran for true is that he has exquisite nipples for a man.

    2. tarran   11 years ago

      again: tarran, would you care to email me?

      Out of curiosity, why?

      1. Carl ?s his privilege   11 years ago

        To ask a question about your educational background.

        1. tarran   11 years ago

          Just ask! You don't need email for that. 🙂

          1. Carl ?s his privilege   11 years ago

            I appreciate it, but I would prefer to conduct the conversation over email so as to not reveal too much about myself.

  46. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

    My boss used the words "good-time buddies" this morning. As in "The Big Boss gave logins to some of his good-time buddies and all the licenses were taken, so you didn't get an account". Reminded me of of some rumpled 1940's PI.

    How is everybody here? I've been in Obamaland Big Idea/No Execution Hell. Dear Leader's "good-time buddies" are driving us all up a wall. I yearn for the days when our Big Bosses were career technocrats with no ideas.

    1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

      I'm going to pretend "good-time buddies" is a euphemism.

      1. Ken Shultz   11 years ago

        It really does have that kinda ring to it.

      2. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

        As you're pretending, think of the Big Boss as resembling Deliverance-era Ned Beatty

      3. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

        What else would it be?

    2. tarran   11 years ago

      Soooooo, any other consulates you know of that don't have a website? Other than the Benghazi one? 😉

  47. robc   11 years ago

    As of yesterday, i own no property. I guess i cant vote now.

    1. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

      I own land but no house. Can I still vote?

    2. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

      Isn't that a weird feeling? I'm renting now, and mostly fine with it, but ownership is a different feeling.

    3. Juice   11 years ago

      Got No Bread, No Milk, No Money, But We Sure Got a Lot of Love

    4. SugarFree   11 years ago

      You own yourself. Live free, brother.

      1. robc   11 years ago

        My wife might claim otherwise.

  48. Ken Shultz   11 years ago

    "The White House has praised a bill aimed at limiting the NSA's ability to collect records of telephone calls."

    We already have something better. It's called the Fourth Amendment, and any government employee who willfully violates our Fourth Amendment rights should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

    1. Jordan   11 years ago

      The Constitutional-Scholar-In-Chief slept through that part of Law School.

      1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

        He had to dream of his father

      2. Ken Shultz   11 years ago

        That would be a good reform-law for the NSA!

        If you willfully violate someone's Fourth Amendment rights, you get to spend x number of years in a federal prison.

    2. Rich   11 years ago

      prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

      IOW, not at all?

      1. Ken Shultz   11 years ago

        Civil Rights violations are an FBI thing.

        If they haven't been investigating this, they should have started years ago.

        http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/in.....lor_of_law

        I'm not a lawyer, but it seems like this is especially relevant:

        Title 18 U.S. Code ? 242 - Deprivation of rights under color of law

        "Whoever, under color of any law, statute, ordinance, regulation, or custom, willfully subjects any person in any State, Territory, Commonwealth, Possession, or District to the deprivation of any rights, privileges, or immunities secured or protected by the Constitution or laws of the United States, or to different punishments, pains, or penalties, on account of such person being an alien, or by reason of his color, or race, than are prescribed for the punishment of citizens, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than one year, or both"

        http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/242

        If I understand it properly, this is, for example, for government officials who claim to be acting in a capacity that is part of their legal job--but actually is willfully violating someone's civil rights.

        1. Ken Shultz   11 years ago

          Maybe that just applies to "being an alien, color, or race", but it shouldn't.

          Why would it be okay to violate someone's civil rights--just so long as they're not a minority?

        2. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

          Ken, government officials that do as you describe in violating constitutional rights have long been liable for several federal suits. Lots of these cases are filed. The problem is the courts have circumscribed what is a violation of constitutional rights and/or blessed broad immunity.

  49. Sevo   11 years ago

    Some people have a high tolerance for liars:

    "Obama, new tech A-listers align"
    http://www.sfgate.com/politics.....461411.php

    Yes, Obo and entourage are here to fuck up traffic in the Bay Area today.

  50. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    Ted Cruz defends the right of businesses not to serve gays. Or to put it another way:

    "Ted Cruz Champions Nuremberg-Style Laws for Gays and Lesbians...

    "If all this seems eerily and disturbingly familiar, it should. It was the Nazis who said, "Don't Buy from Jews!" (Kauf nicht bei Juden!). The Religious Right is saying, "Don't Sell to Gays!""

    http://www.politicususa.com/20.....bians.html

    1. Sevo   11 years ago

      ""If all this seems eerily and disturbingly familiar, it should. It was the Nazis who said, "Don't Buy from Jews!" (Kauf nicht bei Juden!). The Religious Right is saying, "Don't Sell to Gays!""

      I'm sure he just sort of forgot that the Nazis didn't just "say" that.

      1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

        As if there used to be a legal requirement to buy from Jews, and the National Socialists repealed that law!

        No, before the National Socialists cam along, consumers could *decide for themselves* whether or not to buy from Jews. The National Socialists sought to take away that freedom.

    2. MJGreen   11 years ago

      Disgusting. Ted Cruz is dangerous.

      Anyway, remember not to buy from people against gay marriage! Make sure such people can't get jobs!

  51. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    I've been in Obamaland Big Idea/No Execution Hell.

    There's nothing like a good slug of the Tears of the Innocent to cheer me up.

    Thanks. I'm feeling much better now.

  52. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

    I stayed in the Baron Hotel in Aleppo. That place would have fallen over in a stiff breeze, never mind a bomb. It's too bad about Syria - it was a nice-ish country with lots of pretty castles and ancient buildings if you could stand the creep factor of Assad's eyes and picture being literally everywhere. They could do so much tourist business if they weren't populated with such backward-thinking assholes.

    1. RBS   11 years ago

      They could do so much tourist business if they weren't populated with such backward-thinking assholes.

      I think that describes most of that region

      1. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

        Lebanon used to do good tourist business. For some reason, Israel continues to have lots of tourists. Jordan does a good business also. Syria has never really managed to rake in the cash that comes with a warm climate and beaches.

        1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

          From what I understand Lebanon, especially Beirut, was attractive for very libertarian reasons: it did not have the harsh, oppressive law that kept nightspots from operating and so it was a haven for middle easterners from more repressive regimes to come party.

          Of course, stability matters too, and when Israel invaded to get at the Palestinians using the area as a staging ground for attacks, they got an insurgent group (Hezballah) and civil strife, making it less attractive.

          1. John   11 years ago

            One of my neighbors did a semester abroad in Beirut in the early 70s. She said it was the most beautiful, relaxed and free place she has ever been. Lebanon is one of the most beautiful and temperate places on earth. It is just tragic that it is no longer what it was.

            1. Isaac Bartram   11 years ago

              Lebanon was called the Switzerland of the Middle East at one time.

              That time is past.

  53. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

    No alt-text in the AM Links?

  54. AuH20   11 years ago

    So last night it was suggested that a "blame the Kochs" meme be created. I love this idea. I've encountered a lot of liberal who go "thanks Obama" or I blame Obama"in response to minor,ridiculous problems. This has the effect of lumping in all opposition with the most crazy people. Turbln about is a bitch.

    1. John   11 years ago

      I like it too. The "I blame global warming" meme has done a lot to make the global warming cult look like the buffoons they are.

      Let me start right now, if Donald Sterling hasn't sold the Clippers by June, I blame the Kochs.

      If Johnny Manziel falls out of the top five of tonight's NFL draft, I blame the Kochs.

      1. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

        If I don't get laid tonight, I will blame the Kochs.

        1. Rasilio   11 years ago

          You're female. You can get laid any night. Not necessarily by someone you'd want doing the deed but it is a safe bet that you could walk into most any bar in the country and find someone to go home (or at least to the bathroom) with before closing time

        2. Clich? Bandit   11 years ago

          What Rasillio said is true but your joke, which he missed, was funnier.

          1. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

            Danke!

      2. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

        I am surprised there is still so much talk of Manziel going so high. He seems to have all the liabilities of someone like Russell Wilson without the pluses. I guess we will see when he actually plays.

        But I blame the Koch's for how far running backs have fallen.

        1. John   11 years ago

          He has all of the pluses of Wilson. He is really more athletic than Wilson. The dings on Manziel are the same as they were on Wilson; he is too short and doesn't have a perfect throwing motion. Wilson fell to the third round for a reason. He didn't fit the profile even more so than Manziel.

          1. robc   11 years ago

            I have nothing to back this on, but Wilson at NC St (and then Wisconsin) just SEEMED like a more pro-type QB than Manziel.

            I know Manziel won the Heisman and all, but based solely on freshman seasons, I would have put Wilson higher for NFL potention.

            1. John   11 years ago

              I would too, but I loved Wilson in college. I couldn't believe he fell out of the first round.

              I think Wilson is the closest comparison to Manziel. Is Wilson better? Probably. But Wilson is one of the top five or six QBs in football in only his second year. If Manziel is 80% the player Wilson is, he will have a nice career.

    2. db   11 years ago

      Big Pharma's conspiracy to suppress life-saving medicine is preventing Harry Reid from getting treatment for dementia. #blamethekochs

  55. Spoonman.   11 years ago

    Listed my house on Monday. So far we have gotten one expression of interest each day - two people will go to the open house on Sunday, one made an appointment for Saturday. So apparently the price the agent suggested that I thought was insanely high is not so bad.

    1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

      Doubtlessly if PB were here, he would cite that as proof of the Obamacovery.

    2. robc   11 years ago

      My house was on the market for 12 days.

      1. R C Dean   11 years ago

        Last year, my house sat on the market with almost no interest for three months.

        Then, we got two offers (super-clean for the asking price, and with conditions for more than asking price) on the same day.

  56. John   11 years ago

    I don't think they will be able to do this. But we are one supreme court justice dying or retiring from them being able to do this. We are as close to becoming a full on fascist police state as we have ever been.

    Government officials, reacting to the growing voice of conservative news outlets, especially on the internet, are angling to curtail the media's exemption from federal election laws governing political organizations, a potentially chilling intervention that the chairman of the Federal Election Commission is vowing to fight.

    ...

    All media has long benefited from an exemption from FEC rules, thereby allowing outlets to pick favorites in elections and promote them without any limits or disclosure requirements like political action committees.

    But Goodman cited several examples where the FEC has considered regulating conservative media, including Sean Hannity's radio show and Citizens United's movie division. Those efforts to lift the media exemption died in split votes at the politically evenly divided board, often with Democrats seeking regulation.

    ...

    "The picking and choosing has started to occur," said Goodman. "There are some in this building that think we can actually regulate" media, added Goodman, a Republican whose chairmanship lasts through December. And if that occurs, he said, "then I am concerned about disparate treatment of conservative media."

    http://ace.mu.nu/archives/349013.php

    1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

      Media outlets are free to endorse any candidate they want, as long as the candidate is a progressive.

    2. SugarFree   11 years ago

      Because that could never com back and bite them in the ass.

      Actually, a future where there is a constant scrutiny of every news story to see if it an endorsement or condemnation of a candidate, politician or political position is just the sort of chaos I'd like to see. If the news can't be balanced, then let it be all-out war.

    3. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

      Well, there is a perverse and unusual honesty about it. Usually they want to restrict campaign finance but have no answer to the question 'what about media outlets?' Now they are saying 'oh yeah, glad you brought that up, let's restrict them too.'

      1. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

        Can anyone point to specific proposals before the FEC to do this? This seemed kinda self-serving to me: Republican FEC Nominees tells Republicans how important it is that he be renominated. "I'm the only thing between you and those evil Democrats taking away your Drudge Report and Rush Limbaugh!"

  57. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    If the news can't be balanced, then let it be all-out war.

    And then see what they have to say about anonymity.

  58. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    As of yesterday, i own no property. I guess i cant vote now.

    Three fifths.

  59. 110 Lean   11 years ago

    American military personnel will arrive in Nigeria in the coming days to assist in the search for hundreds of school girls kidnapped by the Islamist group Boko Haram, a terrorist group funded by the Koch brothers.

    1. John   11 years ago

      If it turns out to be a one off help the government save these girls and right a real wrong, I don't see the problem here.

      If murderous lunatics kidnapped a bunch of school children in the US and the US government was unable to on its own do anything about it, I would be happy to see a foreign military come in and help with the situation.

      1. 110 Lean   11 years ago

        I was just promoting the meme suggested by someone here yesterday, that everything bad that happens is to be blamed on the Koch brothers.

        1. John   11 years ago

          My mistake. I was just being dense.

    2. Sevo   11 years ago

      US out of Nigeria NOW!

      1. califernian   11 years ago

        Why not just buy the girls? I doubt the price is very high

  60. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

    Tied down by permafrost?

Please log in to post comments

Mute this user?

  • Mute User
  • Cancel

Ban this user?

  • Ban User
  • Cancel

Un-ban this user?

  • Un-ban User
  • Cancel

Nuke this user?

  • Nuke User
  • Cancel

Un-nuke this user?

  • Un-nuke User
  • Cancel

Flag this comment?

  • Flag Comment
  • Cancel

Un-flag this comment?

  • Un-flag Comment
  • Cancel

Latest

Brickbat: Gone Fishing

Charles Oliver | 7.16.2025 4:00 AM

Federal Officials Won't Admit the Real Reason for Ditching the TSA's Shoe Rule

Jacob Sullum | 7.16.2025 12:01 AM

Barack Obama Wants Democrats To Be the YIMBY Party. That's Easier Said Than Done.

Christian Britschgi | 7.15.2025 3:30 PM

Why a Trump-Appointed Judge Is Torching His Own Court's Approach to Qualified Immunity

Billy Binion | 7.15.2025 3:08 PM

D.C. Finally Moves To Implement Ranked Choice Voting After 3–1 Voter Approval

Joe Lancaster | 7.15.2025 2:05 PM

Recommended

  • About
  • Browse Topics
  • Events
  • Staff
  • Jobs
  • Donate
  • Advertise
  • Subscribe
  • Contact
  • Media
  • Shop
  • Amazon
Reason Facebook@reason on XReason InstagramReason TikTokReason YoutubeApple PodcastsReason on FlipboardReason RSS

© 2024 Reason Foundation | Accessibility | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

r

Do you care about free minds and free markets? Sign up to get the biggest stories from Reason in your inbox every afternoon.

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

This modal will close in 10

Reason Plus

Special Offer!

  • Full digital edition access
  • No ads
  • Commenting privileges

Just $25 per year

Join Today!