You can tell South Dakota Rep. Steve Hickey (R-Sioux Falls) is quite proud of the analogy he made in a recent anti–anal sex screed, titled "A One Way Alley for the Garbage Truck." Edgy! After submitting the letter to the Argus Leader, South Dakota's largest newspaper, Hickey also posted it to Facebook. "We'll see if they reprint it," he wrote. "Kristen hates the title. You probably will too. Doubt they use it…"
And yet, clearly, he found the garbage truck comparison just too good to pass up. He's also sure that more doctors would speak out against homosexuality if they didn't feel "silenced and intimidated."
"Certainly there are board-certified doctors in our state who will attest to what seems self-evident to so many: gay sex is not good for the body or mind. Pardon a crude comparison but regarding men with men, we are talking about a one-way alley meant only for the garbage truck to go down. Frankly, I'd question the judgment of doctor who says it's all fine."
Frankly, I'd question the judgment of a lawmaker who refers to his anus as an alley and his poop as a garbage truck. But different strokes…
Hickey goes on to tell South Dakota doctors that it's time "to come out of the closet and give your professional opinion on this matter like you capably and responsibly do on all the others." This belies perhaps the most amazing thing about Hickey's letter—he is utterly convinced that doctors must agree with him, and the only reason we hear that "eating at McDonald's will kill us but the gay lifestyle" won't is because no one's properly encouraged them in a strongly worded letter-to-the-editor yet.
"Truth be told it seems self-evident the list of side effects would read far longer than anything we hear on a Cialis commercial," writes Hickey. Translation: Come on, guys, butt sex has to be more dangerous than my boner meds!
After a few paragraphs lamenting the existence of transgender teens, Hickey concludes by "issu(ing) a call to the medical and psychological communities and associations to weigh in publicly and timely on the matter of homosexuality and the human body, psyche and family, particular kids." Here, Rep. Hickey, LMGTFY…