A.M. Links: Putin Approves Bill To Make Crimea Part of Russia, Journalist Barred From McConnell Event, Astronomers Detect Signal From Beginning of Time

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Credit: Norgler/wikimedia
  • Russian President Vladimir Putin has approved a draft bill that would make Crimea part of Russia. Speaking before Russia's parliament, Putin said that, "in people's heart of hearts, Crimea has always been part of Russia."
  • A Kentucky reporter claims that Jesse Benton, who is running the Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) re-election campaign, barred him from a news conference and threatened him with police action if he asked a question. Benton claims that the event was private and that the reporter was not invited.
  • Rep. Grace Meng (D-N.Y.) is the latest lawmaker to raise concerns about the almost 400 percent increase in State Department refusals of Israeli visa applications in the last few years.
  • China claims that there is no evidence that any of the Chinese nationals on the missing Malaysia Airlines flight have connections to terrorism.
  • United Nations human rights investigators have added names to their list of suspected war criminals linked to the ongoing civil war in Syria.
  • There is talk of Nobel Prizes being handed out in the wake of the news that astronomers detected a signal from shortly after the birth of the universe which could provide direct evidence of the universe's accelerated expansion very shortly after the Big Bang.

NEXT: In Defense of "Generation Selfie": Nick Gillespie at The Daily Beast

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  1. China claims that there is no evidence that any of the Chinese nationals on the missing Malaysia Airlines flight have connections to terrorism.

    Oh sure, that’s what they say now. Wait until the TSA gets involved.

    1. Hello.

      /kneels.

    2. Naturally the one day I get the first comment the whole commenting system shits the bed.

      1. Coincidence? I think not.

  2. Talked about pissed off!
    Gainesville man urinates on unsuspecting victims! The best part is the composite sketch.

    http://www.gainesville.com/art…..-urinator-

    1. Did he tell them it was raining?

    2. This reminds me of my favourite company name

      1. I once helped build a web site for a company that sold water trampolines and other floatables called globalwatersports.com.

        It was hard not to giggle every time we had a client meeting.

        1. Excellent! While we’re on this theme, my second favourite is Pen Island

          1. One company I work for does a lot of Internet advertising. for a recent campaign, they echoed Arrested Development and put up a banner called “Gothic Castle.”

          2. Then there was the Italian power company Gen Italia.

          3. Mightier than the sword

      2. Pst. I don’t mean to embarrass you, but you have a superfluous u in favorite.

        1. She’s incapable of shame. That’s why we love her.

    3. squirellz:

      Isn’t that sketch a lot like one of the characters on the Backyardigans?

  3. Benton claims that the event was private and that the reporter was not invited.

    Then stick him in a broom closet. Sheesh.

  4. Ahoy, mateys! Do not let yeselves be taken by yon imposter Rufuses. I be the real McCoy!

    1. Begone, we don’t need a third.

      1. The third, ye ballast pig? I was sendin’ swabs down the plank when these imitation Rufuses was still soilin’ they swaddlings!

      2. The third, ye ballast pig? I was sendin’ swabs down the plank when these imitation Rufuses was still soilin’ they swaddlings!

        1. Please allow me to introduce myself.

          I’m Rufus J.

          Only the elder statesmen can determine if ye be the original.

          I stake my claim as the original.

          /slips on long johns.

    2. I be the real McCoy!

      You’re not whining about the PQ or warning us about the Beibs being groomed for PM, so I suspect not.

    1. That better be directed at me.

  5. Can a stun gun cause a cardiac arrest?
    Um, duh? But I bet if an officer murdered someone by using his taser to force compliance, he’d just be “following procedures.”

  6. RI health exchange urges parents use dating, hookup apps to nag children into Obamacare

    “Help us get your kids insured by nagging them about health insurance where they least expect it,” reads the homepage for HealthSource RI’s “Nag Toolkit.”

    “Your kids don’t want to get health insurance. They also don’t want to get nagged. Let’s find out which one they want less.”

    The tool teaches parents how to stalk their children on the hookup app Tinder, in which users scroll through fellow users’ Facebook profile photos and select which ones they would like to hook up with.

    The “Nag Toolkit” tells parents to download the app, add a profile picture with a sign saying “Get health insurance,” and list the same interests as their children to increase their “Tinder compatibility.”

    1. Parents & the state vs. kids on social media. Hmm, wonder who wins that battle.

      1. Considering my kid fixed a laptop at 12 years old, and an iPod the next year…

      2. That’s definitely the blind leading the blind. It’s also creepy as fuck.

    2. “People who annoy you”
      N_ggers

      1. I’d like to buy a vowel!

    3. Wow!

      Way to violate Tinder’s Terms of Service!!!!

      7. Code of Conduct; Prohibited Activities
      In using Tinder, you must behave in a civil and respectful manner at all times. Further, you will not:

      [7.]1 Harass or stalk any other person;

      And then

      8 Content Restrictions
      You are solely responsible for the content that you publish or display (hereinafter, “post”) on the Service, or transmit to other Members. You will not post on the service, or transmit to other users, any defamatory, inaccurate, … harassing … material. … You will not provide inaccurate, misleading or false information to Tinder, Co. or to any other user. … The following is a partial list of content you maynotupload, post, or transmit (collectively, “submit”):

      [8.]2 harasses or advocates harassment of another person;

      [8.]7 involves the transmission of “junk mail”, “chain letters,” or unsolicited mass mailing or “spamming”;

      [8.]10 engages in commercial activities and/or sales without our prior written consent such as contests, sweepstakes, barter, advertising, and pyramid schemes;

    4. “Nag” is just the first step of bullying.

      1. These “kids” they’re talking about aren’t kids at all, but people who’re 26 or older (remember, up to 26 is covered under the parents’ policy), and these “kids” have already been bullied for over a decade (if they went to public school/ college). The nagging is just a friendly nudge that they’ll go to jail if they don’t submit.

  7. There is talk of Nobel Prizes being handed out in the wake of the news that astronomers detected a signal from shortly after the birth of the universe…

    The results on the next Maury.

  8. EAT CELEBRITY MEAT

    BiteLabs grows meat from celebrity tissue samples and uses it to make artisanal salami.

    Which celebrity would you eat?

    1. uses it to make artisanal salami.

      Maybe with a little artisanal mayo?

    2. Why hello, Clarice.

    3. I would eat Sigourney Weaver. No reason.

    4. Lucy Liu. Because she is the only woman who has never fallen out of my top 3.

  9. Woman Stabs Husband for “Worshipping Nascar,” Crashes Car Into Church

    A woman who claimed she had the devil inside her drove a car through the doors of a church, then stabbed her husband in the chest when he showed up to check on her. She said God told her to do it.

    Stephanie Hamman crashed through the Church Hill, Tenn. church at around 10 p.m., then called her husband, Stephen, for help. He found her lying in front of the altar with a large kitchen knife, which she planted in his chest.

    Stephen Hamman made it home, removed the knife, and called police for help.

    Officers caught up with his wife at a hospital, where she told them she had decided to live her life for God, who told her to stop smoking marijuana all day and night. According to God, she said, weed is only for relaxing in the evenings.

    “I love to smoke it,” she said, according to a police press release. “Sometimes when I do, I start seeing things that others don’t. Isn’t God good? He told me this would happen, and just look, I am okay.”

    She also said God told her she needed to “get in the church,” a command she apparently took very literally.

    As for why she stabbed her husband, she said she knifed him for “worshiping the NASCAR race at Bristol.”

    1. So you can have one of two tokes from this story. Either marijuana is the devil or some people are too stupid to live.

    2. which NASCAR race ought he have worshipped?

      1. Talladega 500.

      2. The Lady in Black, obviously.

      3. Talladega or Daytona.

    3. She must be an open wheel fan.

    4. Blasphemy! NASCAR is awesome! This shows the woman is not right in the head.

      1. It may be awesome, but it is truly worthy of worship?

        1. I wasn’t endorsing the worship of any non-God entity, but my suggestion is that this woman has more wrong with her than just NASCAR.

    5. Make up your mind, lady. Was it God or the Devil?

      God does seem to have a sensible policy on pot smoking.

      1. She’s probably merely crazy, but I have heard that people who “worship” the Devil evoke God, but not Jesus.

  10. Ron Paul: Crimea secedes. So what?

    What’s the big deal? Opponents of the Crimea vote like to point to the illegality of the referendum. But self-determination is a centerpiece of international law. Article I of the United Nations Charter points out clearly that the purpose of the U.N. is to “develop friendly relations among nations based on respect for the principle of equal rights and self-determination of peoples.”

    Why does the U.S. care which flag will be hoisted on a small piece of land thousands of miles away?

    Critics point to the Russian “occupation” of Crimea as evidence that no fair vote could have taken place. Where were these people when an election held in an Iraq occupied by U.S. troops was called a “triumph of democracy”?

    1. I like this Ron Paul guy.

      1. I like this Ron Paul guy.

        Me too. He is what got me interested in libertarianism (though still not one) and this site.

      2. Does he have a newsletter I could subscribe to?

    2. Where were these people when an election held in an Iraq occupied by U.S. troops was called a “triumph of democracy”?

      Where was RP on that issue? Seems to me being consistent for RP requires that neither election was legitimate.

      Oh wait, his position is: Why should I care about a flag on a small piece of land thousands of miles away?

      Okay. What size piece of land needs to be involved for you to care and at what distance?

      1. That’s weak sauce, Camping. The point being that the same people who trumpeted the Iraq election are naysaying the Crimean ones despite similar circumstances…*but you knew that already*

        1. The point being that the same people who trumpeted the Iraq election are naysaying the Crimean ones despite similar circumstances

          I know what his point was.

          And my point is the same person naysaying the Iraqi elections is now trumpeting the Crimean vote…*but you already knew that

          1. but he wasn’t *trumpeting* the Crimean vote. This is why you fail.

            1. but he wasn’t *trumpeting* the Crimean vote.

              “I strongly believe that Crimeans have every right to transfer sovereignty over their peninsula to Russia if they wish. The only question that remains is whether there will there be an honest election, and I don’t see any reason there can’t be.”

              1. uh, again, not “trumpeting”. your attempt at false equivalence is getting sadder.

                1. uh, again, not “trumpeting”.

                  Yeah, he doesn’t have an actual brass horn against his lips and I have to agree to meet the threshold of what you consider “trumpeting”, which you haven’t provided by example from “the same people who trumpeted the Iraq election”

      2. He’s been pretty consistent about arguing that we shouldn’t be involved in the affairs of other nations unless it directly threatens us, and I think his main point is that what is considered a “legitimate” election or not has more to do with the arbitrary media portrayals rather than the actual rule of law.

        Anyhow, Crimea breaking away from Ukraine was a foregone conclusion the minute Russia moved troops there. The “elections” might have been a joke, but the result certainly isn’t, and now it’s just a question of whether Russia’s going to try for more right away or let things settle down a while.

        1. He’s been pretty consistent about arguing that we shouldn’t be involved in the affairs of other nations unless it directly threatens us

          Yeah, I sort of get that, except Russia happens to still have missiles pointed in our direction. Maybe my definition of “direct threat” needs tweaking in order to understand when RP reaches the point of “caring”. Would RP be opposed to Russian missiles in Cuba?

    3. My prediction: Obama and the interventionists bumble us into WWIII, and once the ashes settle, the press and pundits point at Ron and Rand Paul, and other non-interventionist and proponents of diplomatic solutions, screaming that their delaying got us into a bigger war than necessary and blaming them for the outcome.

    4. Don’t be a lying weasel politician, Ron.

      There was no election in Crimea. Staying in Ukraine was not on the ballot, and there is no way in hell Crimea actually voted 97% in favor of secession with 83% turnout as the results were “reported”.

      That doesn’t mean the US should go being an intervening global champion of liberty instead of just a guardian of its own. But refusing to admit this was a seizure at gunpoint, not a choice by Crimeans, marks you as an idiot or disingenuous.

      1. Shit, you’ve even got me doing it. The 97% reported wasn’t in favor of secession, but union with Russia. The Crimea-becomes-independent option supposedly got only 3%.

  11. That’s not Kosher in an election year.

    1. Rep. Grace Meng (D-N.Y.) is the latest lawmaker to raise concerns about the almost 400 percent increase in State Department refusals of Israeli visa applications in the last few years.

      (Answer before the question, just like on Jeopardy!.)

      1. Or like the Amazing Karnak. Are you channeling Carson again?

        1. +1

          A: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday.
          Q: Name three things you won’t find in Los Angeles.

  12. City scopes houses for undocumented improvements, other cities wish they could do the same.

    “I’m not out to harm anybody,” Culpepper said. “I’m just out to make sure that all citizens are treated equally. It’s all about equity.”

    1. Equity and equality are not the same things, Janey.

    2. Peasants must be treated equally when their forced labor in taxes and fines are collected

      I bet however that the houses of the politically connected will be ignored

  13. Russian President Vladimir Putin has approved a draft bill that would make Crimea part of Russia.

    You know, Ukraine losing Crimea is a small price to pay for getting to watch Putin troll Obama.

    1. Wonder if Putin will send in state security to find the 2% who voted against secession?

      1. No, those 2% were security services, to lend the election an air of legitimacy.

  14. IFH gets to make fun of Kiwis again: Cat house neighbours offered traps

    Fed-up neighbours of an Invercargill property with three dozen cats are welcome to pick up traps from the city council to catch and then dispose of the felines, Invercargill City Council chief executive Richard King has suggested.

    […]

    Residents who had problems with cats were able to get cat traps from the council and use them, as long as they were returned without the cat inside, he said.

    “We don’t make inquiries about what has happened, as long as it is returned.”

    The radio report I heard even suggested the authorities wouldn’t have a problem with the cats being put down. 🙁

    1. Not what I thought of when I read “cat house.”

      1. Yeah, but OTOH it’s New Zealand.

    1. Your post didn’t come through.

      1. Check baby check baby one two three four.

      2. Weird! *I* can read it.

        1. Did someone say something?

          1. SF ? SF? You’re breaking up!

            1. Tell Warty I love him… [transcript ends]

              1. I laughed. Then I laughed some more.

  15. Intermittent posting problems, anyone?

    1. oh yeah, it’s out of control. Has been since yesterday.

      1. I think some new countermeasures against our weekend problems are being implemented.

        1. Sheesh! Just *drone* ’em!

        2. Ahh, that makes sense. Full disclosure: I totally ratted her out to Mike. Felt good too.

          1. Oooh, what happened?

          2. You should feel good. All she wants to do is shit on the rug and dance around it smiling.

            Could you mail me off list? sugarfreejay (at) gmail.com

        3. Here I thought it was an electronic immune response to your latest attempts at prose.

    2. I had some luck yesterday by logging out of Reason & then back in.

      1. Thanks, Raven – that worked for me.

    3. Reasons old interns locked in the basement powering the giant squirrel cage are wearing out and that is why they have been adverting for new ones.

    4. Yes. Since yesterday.

    5. huh – I could start posting again once I started another Mozilla session with no extra tabs.

      1. Test #7 – trying Lord Humungus’ solution – new mozilla session, one tab, H&R only.

      2. Okay, I got a different result with that method, but it didn’t appear to post right away – thought I get get a comment ID.

        1. It’s showing up after several minutes, but every so often I get the blank white screen of “the squirrels ate that post”

      3. it appears to have just been a coincidence

    6. Intermittent? Only about 1 in 10 tries results in an.actual post for.me.

      1. A blank preview tells me the comment will die.

        Is anyone at Reason on this?

  16. Robert Shrum: Democrats Must Run on Obamacare in November

    Democrats have to stop allowing Republicans to define the election as an up or down vote on an abstraction called Obamacare. Instead of running away from health reform, they have to run on it -? in the right way. The key is to denominate the choice in terms of specific provisions of the law, which are overwhelmingly popular in survey after survey.

    Pound away at a Republican candidate for proposing, and a Republican House incumbent for voting 51 times, to permit insurance companies to deny coverage for pre- existing conditions; 65% of Americans disagree with that in the Bloomberg data. Assail Republicans for opposing a ban on lifetime limits, so policies can’t be canceled when patients are sickest and need them most; 53% of Americans support the ban. And go after Republicans for favoring or voting for a bill to deprive children up to the age of 26 of the chance to stay on their parents’ health insurance policy. Here Democrats are in sync with 73% of the country.

    1. Good luck with that Robert. Here is the thing. People only give a shit about other people’s children’s health care and people with pre-existing conditions when they think someone else is going to pay to help them. The problem with using those issues now is that Obamacare has finally caused to rubes to wake up and realize that they are paying for all of these great things liberals want.

    2. Please do. Don’t abandon that sinking ship.

    3. Up to five million enrollments. It will fade away by November.

      Still not worth it though.

    4. and people think Bob Schrum just had bad luck with the multiple Dem presidential campaigns he ran. And lost.

    5. Given that Shrum is batting .000, I am betting that he did this on purpose to make sure they didn’t run on Obamacare.

      1. Yeah. If I were a dem pol I’d hire Shrum and then do the opposite of what he advises. 60% of the time it works every time.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwud6EuxXew

  17. Russian President Vladimir Putin has approved a draft bill that would make Crimea part of Russia.

    Next up – Alaska!

    1. “in people’s heart of hearts, Crimea Alaska has always been part of Russia

    1. I can only assume this means Venice wants to legalize slavery.

  18. L’Wren Scott dead at 49: Designer and Mick Jagger girlfriend found hanged in apparent suicide as records show she was $6M in debt

    Scott was found hanging from a doorknob Monday morning, and police said they believed her death was a suicide. ‘Everyone thought she had a perfect life but when you would chat to her it was clear her life was far from it,’ a close friend of hers told The Daily News. Mick Jagger is said to be ‘completely shocked and devastated’ by her death. Rolling Stones cancelled Wednesday show in Perth, Australia.

    1. Mick could have paid her debts out of petty cash. Of course, something tells me that he has probably done that a few times in the past and this woman still managed to get back into debt. Very sad.

      1. I knew a guy. A successful lawyer and millionaire. Very powerful guy. His ex-wife was an interior decorator and did a great job making herself look like she was making money. Well, doesn’t she go ahead and cheat on the guy and next thing we find out, he was constantly bailing her out of her bad business deals.

        She never made a cent.

        How do we know all this? The girl is my sister’s best friend. It gets more sordid than this. Let’s just say he’s forever indebted to my sister.

        1. Did you mean to say “solicitor”?

          1. Seems to.me I’ve read that story.

        2. She may never have asked. And a lot of very troubled people mask it by pretending they have money they don’t.

          Again, a very sad story.

  19. Teacher faked cancer to get close to student’s mum

    A teacher who pretended to be dying of cancer to form an inappropriate relationship with a student’s mother has been de-registered by the Teachers’ Disciplinary Tribunal.

    In a decision published today, the tribunal censured the female teacher, cancelled her registration, and ordered her to pay 40 per cent of the complainant’s costs.

    […]

    In June 2012 the teacher met with her “crush” ? a year 13 student’s mother – and the student, to tell them both she was dying of cancer, the tribunal’s decision said.

    For seven months she “maintained and embellished” lies about terminal bladder and lung cancer to get sympathy and attention from the student and the student’s mother.

    The teacher told the student she loved her, and had chosen to seek treatment for her sake, the decision said.

    During school time the teacher would text the student, confide in her, and speak about suicide.

    She would harm herself – including overdosing and causing her throat to bleed – in order to elicit physical comfort and, in one case, resuscitation.

  20. Video: Dem’s Nazi Salute Leads to Outrage, Resignation

    During a March 5 meeting, Marcia Radosevich made the Nazi gesture in response to a proposal that would give the village’s planning and engineering staff the authority to approve new projects without the committee’s authorization.

    “Wow, wow, that’s rather . . . that’s a bit over the top, I think,” other members can be heard saying on a video of the meeting. Radosevich said she made the salute as a result of “complete and utter frustration trying to work with the staff.”

    You know who else liked to salute?

    1. Am I missing something or was this guy right? It seems that the engineering staff wanted to just take over and spend money and do things without the approval of the elected representatives. Assuming he meant the gesture sarcastically, I agree with him.

      1. No. No room for nuance or sarcasm. If you make a Nazi salute, it means you are a Nazi. There is no other interpretation permitted.

  21. And now the little scofflaw has been charged with drawing a picture of a trident. You know who else liked tridents?

    1. Aquaman?

    2. Admiral Donitz?

  22. I disagree…

    We’re young, but we aren’t stupid

    Obamacare leaves the average 27 year old facing a gender-averaged 47.5 percent premium increase, according to Forbes. Even after subsidies, that’s an expense that many Millennials can’t afford.

    Perversely, such high costs make it even harder for us to purchase health insurance in the future, when we can afford it. By not signing up for expensive plans now, insurance rates will increase as soon as next year ? for everyone. That leaves us with two choices: Buy an unaffordable plan now, or wait and buy an unaffordable plan later.

    Our only remaining option is to opt out of Obamacare entirely. If the latest numbers are any indication, that’s exactly what Millennials in Nevada are doing. We know a bad deal when we see one ?and we’re not as dumb as Obamacare’s marketers seem to think.

    1. Hey! This Millennial didn’t vote for Obama.

      Of course, most of my peers think I’m a racist teabagger who hates poor people.

  23. 24 Mind-Blowing Facts About Marijuana Production in America

    You thought your pot came from environmentally conscious hippies? Think again. The way marijuana is grown in America, it turns out, is anything but sustainable and organic. Check out these mind-blowing stats, and while you’re at it, read Josh Harkinson’s feature story, “The Landscape-Scarring, Energy-Sucking, Wildlife-Killing Reality of Pot Farming.”

    1. When Leftists take off the mask entirely.

    2. Yes, none of that has ever been reported in the news before.

      It might also just have a little bit to do with prohibition.

    3. You thought your pot came from environmentally conscious hippies

      Uh, no. I assume it comes from underground farms using all kinds of electricity to make a plant that would grow perfectly fine outdoors grow indoors.

    4. I only vaporize fair-trade, organic bud.

  24. And the Nobel in Physics goes to … Barack Obama!

  25. wooosh….

    Fed Links Low Rates to “Persistent Headwinds” in Economy

    Minutes of the Fed’s January policy meeting show that a couple of Fed officials ? likely from its camp of inflation-wary policy hawks ? argued that traditional policy rules, using the economy’s performance during normal times as a metric, showed rates needed to start rising. They lost the argument because others successfully used the persistent headwinds argument. “Various factors,” including the “lingering effects of the financial crisis,” meant the economy couldn’t bear the level of rates that were normal in the past, this argument went, according to the minutes.

    The economy is not getting back to normal, officials like Mr. Dudley are essentially arguing. It’s just getting to something a little less vulnerable. Watch out for the persistent headwinds argument in the Fed’s policy statement Wednesday or in Fed Chairwoman Janet Yellen’s press conference. It is the linchpin to the Fed’s assurance that rates won’t rise much in the next couple of years, even after they start inching up from zero. It is also one of the next battlegrounds in the Fed’s policy debates.

  26. Our only remaining option is to opt out of Obamacare entirely. If the latest numbers are any indication, that’s exactly what Millennials in Nevada are doing. We know a bad deal when we see one ?and we’re not as dumb as Obamacare’s marketers seem to think.

    I eagerly await proof.

  27. Warty Hugeman and The Doomcock of Doom

    Chapter Six

    “Hoogemoan? What is this creature?”

    “I have no idea, Sven.” Warty watched as a securitybot crackling with taser nodes rolled forward. The creature back-handed the robot into a giant pink flamingo that burst into flames and screamed obscenities as it tried to flap away.

    The thief stirred at his feet and Warty stamped down his arm, breaking it and pinning it to the floor. Warty reached down and pulled the hood off while the creature fought off more bots.

    “You little fucking shit,” Warty said. It was the Time Institute stooge from earlier, but maybe 25 years younger. Warty picked him up and shook him like a ragdoll.

    “Where’s The Hydra?” The stooge gaped like a dying fish, but managed to point with his crushed arm. Warty realized his beautiful seven-headed Futurecock was currently being used by a shaved nightmare to beat in the netgun of a securitybot.

    Warty threw the stooge back on the ground. “Stay,” he ordered. “Or I’ll pull out your tibia and fuck you with it.”

    “If that thing manages to breach The Hydra’s energy cells it will kill everyone on this moon,” Warty said. A wild grin spread across Sven’s face.

    “I will go, Hoogemoan! It will be a good death!” The TechnoViking let out a manly scream and rushed forward before Warty could stop him.

    Continue reading

    1. By comparison the Stainless Steel Rat books are deep.

      1. It’s upsetting to hear that someone is holding a gun to your head and making you read this filth.

        1. Trust me. I did not click the link. Despite your waving that disgusting thing in my face, I will not click it.

    2. Did you break the ability to post?

    3. I eagerly await the after-school special version.

      “Next, on a very special episode of Doomcock…”

    4. Truly the greatest story ever told. When is the kickstarter? Will there be a pop up version?

  28. Fast-food protests to spotlight ‘wage theft’
    Fast-food protests nationwide to spotlight ‘wage theft’; comes after workers sue McDonald’s

    http://news.yahoo.com/fast-foo…..NlYwNzcg–

    “The lawsuits that were filed last week put McDonald’s on notice that fast food workers are aware that they’re getting their money stolen,” said Kendall Fells, who works for the Service Employees International Union but said he was “on loan” to the campaign for higher wages.

    Not giving is taking and not taking is giving.

    1. Apparently the union is claiming that if you put your McDonald’s uniform in with the rest of your laundry, you should be on the clock for the time when your washer and dryer are running.

      I shit you not.

      1. If you put your McDonald’s uniform in with the rest of your laundry, all of your clothes are going to stink like grease.

      2. I never thought of that. I’m expected to wear reasonably clean and presentable clothes to work. I’m getting ripped off.

        1. I’m expected to wear reasonably clean and presentable clothes to work.

          We have no formal dress code, but then again, we don’t have to interact with the public. I choose to wear clean out of my last shred of self-respect.

      3. Last summer the SEIU also threatened to make the “victimized” workers contaminate food if demands weren’t met.

        1. Like they aren’t doing that already.

    2. They should call the cops, or something.

  29. Some refreshing honesty here from the President of the Florida Senate

    The quote that says it all. Though to be perfectly fair, I almost feel like I have to respect the fact that he’s willing to come out and admit this, talking about his failure to get rid of idiotic laws that restrict craft brewers in Florida (and proposing laws with even more restrictions).

    While that sounds at odds with his principles, Gaetz acknowledged he will support whatever Anheuser-Busch InBev distributor Lewis Bear tells him to support.

    “I’m with the beer distributors in my district,” Gaetz said recently. “That’s a very important issue because one of my very best friends is an Anheuser-Busch distributor and he never talks to me about his business. It’s always about what are we going to do for disabled children, what are we going to do for the arts, what are we going to do for economic development. But this time he’s talking about growlers.”

  30. Testes… One… Two… Testes…

  31. High School Senior is jailed, kicked out of school, and will likely lose his dream of joining the Army because the school he attended found a pocketknife in his car.

    ZERO TOLERANCE IS THE GREATEST THING EVER!

    1. In his fucking car?

      I had a knife in my pocket every day of school from when I was about 8. What happened?

    2. “The knife, which Wiser said is part of his first responder’s kit and can be used for slicing an accident victim’s seatbelt, was found tucked inside his EMT medical vest in the trunk of the car.”

      He’s obviously a deranged psychopath.

  32. U.S. TV pitchman Trudeau sentenced to 10 years in prison

    Trudeau was found guilty last November of violating a 2004 federal court settlement with the Federal Trade Commission that barred him from misrepresenting the contents of his books in advertisements.

    A jury found he violated the agreement while marketing his book, “The Weight Loss Cure ‘They’ Don’t Want You To Know About,” in infomercials made in 2006 and 2007 that aired about 32,000 times.

    Trudeau told viewers in the infomercials that the “cure” to obesity was not a diet and did not require exercise, but the book instructed readers to walk an hour each day and to limit intake to 500 calories.

    1. That guy was an asshole of the first order, and I’d kick him in the junk if I ever met him, but since when is lying a crime? And if it is, can we use the precedent to jail everyone in Washington, DC?

      1. When you use deception to get someone to purchase a product that’s fraud, is it not?

        The difference between a private actor and the jokers in Washington DC is that private actors must persuade you to purchase their products while politicians force you to purchase their products. Since they’re already using force, the fraud doesn’t really count.

        1. while politicians force you to purchase their products.

          Wouldn’t the fraud be in voting for them. If they promise to do A, and instead to anti-A, then wouldn’t that be fraud?

          1. Not since everyone knows politicians lie…

            1. That does not make it not-fraud. If everyone know Bob is a molester, does that make it not-rape?

  33. The Cook Report: You Don’t Need a Weatherman

    The House is pretty much sorted out, and minimal change can be expected. Republicans look likely to pick up a handful of seats.

    But because Republicans won so many governorships?23?in 2010, they should be prepared to lose seats this year. The only question that remains is to what extent the seasonal partisan winds and the GOP’s midterm-election-turnout edge will offset a scenario otherwise favorable to Democrats. Right now, Cook Political Report Senior Editor Jennifer Duffy (who oversees both gubernatorial and senatorial coverage) predicts Democrats will net two to four governorships.

    Both seasonal and cyclical forces are working against Senate Democrats, suggesting a really bad year for the party in the upper chamber. Duffy currently sees Republicans picking up four to six Senate seats. A bigger gain of seven or more seats is more likely for Senate Republicans this election than a smaller gain of three or fewer.

  34. What the heck, I’ll give it another shot.

    “Various factors,” including the “lingering effects of the financial crisis,” meant the economy couldn’t bear the level of rates that were normal in the past, this argument went, according to the minutes.

    “Various factors” also include debt service for our completely unsustainable borrowing and spending.

    But don’t look behind the curtain.

  35. “Let’s find out which one they want less.”

    Spoken like a true extortionist

    [Since I can’t post a reply to the Obamacare story I have to go all Brooksian and shit]

  36. http://www.businessweek.com/ap…..-to-russia

    Because nothing says “we’re serious” more than sending creepy ass Joe Biden-tard to Poland. Unless it’s maybe freezing the Amercian assets of Russian officals who don’t have any Amercian assets.

  37. The New Overtime Rule’s Effect on Wages and Employment Will Be Trivial, and Economists Know It

    By contrast, the “employment-contract” theory is that employers will simply reduce base pay to make up for the higher overtime wages. There would be no long-term changes in total wages or employment.

    Barkume found much more empirical support for the employment-contract theory than for the labor-demand theory. All else equal, working more overtime is associated with a lower wage rate, and the lower base pay is enough to cancel out most of the legally mandated overtime wage premium. Since the employment-contract model seems to prevail, total wages and employment should be only minimally affected by the new overtime rule.

    1. It’s all about making President Hope-and-Change look like a compassionate human being. Forget all that nonsense about him droning a 16-year old kid from Denver. That’s an inappropriate right-wing thoughtcrime.

  38. Chelsea Clinton’s advice: Have a date night

    “Even when I’m working very hard and my husband, Marc, is working very hard, we prioritize time together,” Clinton said during a segment of “Mondays with Marlo,” hosted by actress and activist Marlo Thomas.

    “Sometimes that means there are weeks where we don’t really see our friends, but we ensure that every week at least we have one date night. And we ensure that if we’re really tired one night, we don’t talk about our days. That’s OK, but we never have two days where we don’t talk about our days.”

    1. They must use a lot of paper bags

      1. Maybe her husband has some sort of giant teeth fetish.

  39. Testing…

    1. Holy shit. It actually worked. FUCK YOU SQUIRRELS!

      1. Don’t antagonize them!

  40. I haven’t really paid much attention to this whole GM recall story; “GM cars suck, and you should have known better,” is my default response.

    But- Do I recall correctly that the “rescue” of GM rolled all product liability into the Old GM entity (the one with no assets of any value)? This may provide a bit of additional courtroom drama when this stuff makes it to the trial phase (as it surely will). Maybe that smarmy little shit Rattner will get subpoenaed.

    “Please tell the court, Mister Rattner, was the President updated on these decisions?”

    1. Here is the important part of that story. Toyota really didn’t have any issues really. Nearly all of the cases of unintended acceleration were later proven to be driver error. Yet, because Toyota is non union, the Administration beat the living hell out of Toyota over it.

      Meanwhile, GM does appear to have a real problem. There are hundreds of cases of people’s cars just shutting off without warning. Yet, since GM is unionized, the Administration hasn’t said boo about it and let GM cover up the defect long after it knew it to exist.

  41. Commenting still FUBAR. Google Chrome running on Win7.

    1. Testing…was having trouble replying earlier, logged out and cleared cache then was able to post the above.

      1. fascinating.

  42. It’s all about making President Hope-and-Change look like a compassionate human being. Forget all that nonsense about him droning a 16-year old kid from Denver. That’s an inappropriate right-wing thoughtcrime.

  43. More tales from the patriarchy. Understand getting a tenured track liberal arts professor job is about as difficult as getting a part in a major movie or network sitcom. So this women philosophy professor actually gets an offer. She, however, decides she needs to lean forward and let the world hear her roar and makes the following demands.

    1) An increase of my starting salary to $65,000, which is more in line with what assistant professors in philosophy have been getting in the last few years.

    2) An official semester of maternity leave.

    3) A pre-tenure sabbatical at some point during the bottom half of my tenure clock.

    4) No more than three new class preps per year for the first three years.

    5) A start date of academic year 2015 so I can complete my postdoc.

    The university unsurprisingly told her to go fuck herself. She now has street creed with other feminists though because their failure to meet her demands is clearly the result of sexism. She didn’t get that because she was a woman.

    http://pjmedia.com/drhelen/201…..le-stupid/

    1. Holy crap! Where the hell do starting assistant profs of philosophy get $65k?

      Points 4 & 5 aren’t completely out of bounds and could be part of hiring negotiations. Point 3, no way, although you might be able to negotiate a reduced teaching load for a semester or two.

      Point 2: kind of a weird request unless she was already pregnant.

      1. Delaying until you complete your post doc is in the university’s interests. They want their profs to be more qualified and have more credentials. I am not sure about the class load demand. She clearly wants it so she can publish enough to get tenure. But as you said, it doesn’t seem too unreasonable.

        But by demanding salary bump and the pre-tenure sabbatical she might as well have just pissed on the head of the Department’s desk.

      2. #2 sounds like she wants more free paid time off. She would already be eligible for 12 weeks of FMLA. How much time off does she need for a pregnancy?

    2. Leaving aside the diahretic “women aren’t getting what they deserve!” bullshit of the article, it seems Nazareth had her pegged:

      It was determined that on the whole these provisions indicate an interest in teaching at a research university and not at a college, like ours, that is both teaching and student centered.

      So basically, the college realized that she wouldn’t fit in with the academic mission of the school and withdrew the offer. Contrary to Slate’s typical shitlib hysterics, there’s nothing out of the ordinary about not hiring someone whose professional goals are different than what the employer is looking for.

      1. But Red Rocks, she is a woman. That means it is their job to cater to her goals and needs.

        This is what the idiots who write and read Slate actually think. The idea that an employer could tell anyone but an evil white male, “hey we need you to confirm to our needs and wants” is just not something that is done in polite company.

  44. DOOOOOOOOM

    American science, long a source of national power and pride, is increasingly becoming a private enterprise.

    In Washington, budget cuts have left the nation’s research complex reeling. Labs are closing. Scientists are being laid off. Projects are being put on the shelf, especially in the risky, freewheeling realm of basic research. Yet from Silicon Valley to Wall Street, science philanthropy is hot, as many of the richest Americans seek to reinvent themselves as patrons of social progress through science research.

    The result is a new calculus of influence and priorities that the scientific community views with a mix of gratitude and trepidation.

    “For better or worse,” said Steven A. Edwards, a policy analyst at the American Association for the Advancement of Science, “the practice of science in the 21st century is becoming shaped less by national priorities or by peer-review groups and more by the particular preferences of individuals with huge amounts of money.”

    1. Instead of politicians spending other peoples’ money, rich people are spending their own money?

      Oh, the horror! It’s not true research unless the money was appropriated by force!

    2. Hey, does anyone remember when private enterprise itself was our source of “national power and pride”?

  45. More:

    Fundamentally at stake, the critics say, is the social contract that cultivates science for the common good. They worry that the philanthropic billions tend to enrich elite universities at the expense of poor ones, while undermining political support for federally sponsored research and its efforts to foster a greater diversity of opportunity ? geographic, economic, racial ? among the nation’s scientific investigators.

    Bioethics! Social Contract!

    Those crazy billionaires can’t be trusted. They should give all that money to a science charity administered by the New York Times editorial board.

  46. OT: Austin, Texas. What’s that like? I am thinking of planning a visit there someday, and I am wondering if any knowledgeable reason H and R commenters know things about it.

    1. I lived in San Antonio and Killeen (which is 65 miles northwest of Austin) for nearly seven years.

      Austin is a very fun town, if a bit overrated. The thing to remember with Austin is that it is still really just a big college town. It is really not that long on high culture or much of anything beyond some good reasonably priced food and a lot of glorified beer joints.

      That said, Austin is tremendous for what it is. Go to Stubbs Barbeque or if you want to stand in line forever Franklin barbeque. Go out on Sixth Street on a Friday night and go drinking and listening the music. The music scene there is not quite what it was when it got famous, but it is still good. You can pretty much walk into any of the known places there and hear a very good band on any weekend. The famous one that is still left is on South Congress, the Continental Club. It is IMHO a very good beer joint.

      I would advise going in March or April or October or November. The weather in those months is usually perfect. The summers are brutal and the winters are a bit hit and miss. It can be gorgeous or can be surprisingly cold.

    2. A little Blue State Nirvana in the middle of a Red State Hell
      /prog

  47. Slap Daddy Fap Fap isn’t going to like this at all, man!

    notoneofmybestjokesbutitwilldo.com

  48. “Separate-Gender Classrooms Under Fire

    “Citing the ‘harmful’ effects of gender stereotypes, the ACLU is pressuring school districts across the country to end programs that recognize differences in the way boys and girls learn….

    “According to the ACLU, examples of these “harmful sex stereotypes” include teachers addressing boys in a louder voice and more directly than they would female students or girls being allowed to take tests without time limits because they allegedly do not perform well under stress….

    “However, Middleton Superintendent Richard Bauscher said his district’s experience with single-gender classes, which are only in place at Heights Elementary School and in which participation is optional, is that students in these classrooms do better academically than those in mixed classrooms. The program has been so successful, he said, that it has a waiting list.”

    http://www.ncregister.com/dail…..2014-03-18 09:49:01

    1. Don’t a lot of feminists support single sex education? They certainly love their women’s colleges. And I am pretty sure they like all girls’ science classes too, since little snowflakes apparently are intimidated from participating if there are any boys around.

      If the ACLU is going to kill single gender classrooms, I am pretty sure that counts as prog on prog violence.

      1. I thought the new thing was “what’s wrong with boys” and girls were doing better in the classroom now. Can’t people just make up their minds?

        1. That is the narrative on even numbered days Zeb. On odd numbered days, girls are so oppressed that they need everyone’s help.

          1. Why can’t it be both, John? Libs always want to have their cake and eat it too.

            1. Schr?dinger’s classroom.

  49. Alaskan cops shoot a guy for fleeing, suspected of drunk driving:

    http://www.reuters.com/article…..LD20140314

  50. Hmm, interesting

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