Conflicting Reports of Russian Threats, Ban on City Immigration Laws Left Standing, Rep. Ryan Addresses Impact of Anti-Poverty Programs: P.M. Links

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(Alexander Komlik / Foter / CC BY-NC)
  • Peaceniks or interventionists? I'm confused.
    Credit: Alexander Komlik / Foter / CC BY-NC

    There were reports that Russia's Navy had given Ukrainian troops in Crimea a deadline of 5 a.m. (their time) Tuesday to surrender or face an assault. Officials with the Russian Black Sea Fleet say the ultimatum does not exist. President Barack Obama said that Russia is "on the wrong side of history" on Ukraine, showing how badly that worthless phrase needs to be retired.

  • The Supreme Court declined to get involved in a couple of immigration law cases, leaving to stand rulings that prohibit cities from barring landlords from renting to illegal immigrants and businesses from employing them, on the basis that such rules are the responsibility of the feds.
  • A new study by the House Budget Committee being touted by GOP Rep. Paul Ryan, the committee's chairman, criticizes America's massive $799 billion anti-poverty programs for focusing so much on means-testing for benefits that it discourages the poor from working to improve their financial situations.
  • The House is also expected to vote this week whether to eliminate the penalty for 2014 for not having health insurance as mandated by ObamaCare.
  • One of the witnesses in a Michigan lawsuit trying to strike down the state's ban on gay marriage recognition was rejected by the judge. He was there to defend the ban, but the judge ruled that as the witness is still a college student, he is not yet an expert.
  • The entire British National Health Service hospital patient database was uploaded to an online Google service, causing serious concerns about privacy.

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  1. The House is also expected to vote this week whether to eliminate the penalty for 2014 for not having health insurance as mandated by ObamaCare.

    Yawn.

    1. Episiarch

      That’s so 2013.

    2. Auric Demonocles

      Get out the “Republicans commit treason!” headlines.

    3. hamilton

      I thought the President already changed this by decree or something. Don’t tell me all of a sudden we’re back to passing laws and shit like that.

      1. RBS

        It’s hard to say these days.

      2. Auric Demonocles

        It depends on if we want to blame someone or not talk about it.

    4. Rufus J. Firefly

      Hello.

      Wow. 15 minutes late and the PM links are already on the next page.

      Whatevah.

      Something tells me Russia is serious.

      Until the U.S. is energy independent, there’s less leverage for foreign policy with bite since it’s oil trade is something that has to configure in their calculations.

      1. Zeb

        The US could be energy independent in a year if it had to be. There is loads of uranium, coal, oil and gas available. We don’t depend on foreign oil, it’s just more economically sensible to use some.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly

          I know. Plus Keystone.

          Just like the U.S. can eradicated its debts and deficit pretty fast if it so chooses.

          Mind you, some argue it’s past the point of no return.

        2. The USA is a net exporter today.

          1. Corning

            Thank god Obama shutdown nearly all oil/gas/coal production on federal property and shutdown the Keystone otherwise the US would not be.

            Right shrike?

            Right?

  2. db

    Guys, I don’t know what is going to happen in Ukraine, but I’m pretty sure it is going to suck donkey balls.

    1. Rufus J. Firefly

      Putin is a former KGB agent. Dude probably tortured and killed people.

      He’s the leader of a gigantic country with a proud character and strong army. They have their own geo-political interests and surrendering the Ukraine to anyone (the EU in particular) is not an option. Could it even spill into Poland?

      I see troubles.

      1. db

        Seriously, you have to wonder about what a KGB agent of Putin’s age and era would have to have done to earn his chops. Ruthless wouldn’t begin to describe it.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly

          I forget the story, but I saw a documentary once where Putin sat in front of a CEO and forced him to sign some papers. It was the scariest thing I’ve see since Henry Silva in ‘Trapped.’

        2. Putin came to power with a series of bangs… literally!

          Someone was bombing the living quarters of junior officers and their families. Yeltsin appointed Putin – from obscurity – to be the PM to root out and destroy the terrorists, and the bombings stopped.

          Putin maintains the bombings were the work of Chechen separatists. But I don’t think anyone was ever prosecuted or assassinated. They just… stopped.

          1. db

            Wouldn’t be surprised if his early KGB work involved managing agents provocateur.

          2. I think a lot of people in Checnya were killed.

      2. Episiarch

        Well, we are due for a huge war any time now.

        1. JW

          Don’t worry. We’ll send our troops is to stop it.

          What could possibly go wrong?

          1. db

            Over there!
            Over there!
            Send a word, send a prayer,
            Over there!

        2. Rufus J. Firefly

          You can’t negotiate with Putin. Medvedev was more rational, but Putin…that dude is bad ass.

          The other thing about Russia is I think they have a more long-term approach to foreign policy. Not so sure about the USA – especially under the last couple of administrations.

          One wonders if it’s a Johnson & Johnson conspiracy to sell more Band-Aids!

        3. Restoras

          I don’t think we’ll see Russia move on Eastern Europe. There’s no need to. It’s not like there is a competing power in Western Europe with the military resources and political will to do so that is threatening Russia’s ability to influence and dominate the region.

          That said, stay tuned for Russia/China in the next 10-15 years or so…

          1. Rufus J. Firefly

            Half of the Ukraine wants in the EU.

            Russia doesn’t want that.

    2. Zeb

      I really want to know where Groovus is at. I’m pretty sure he’s not in one of the more troubled spots, but the whole thing could get pretty bad. Does he still think the Ukraine was the best choice?

      1. Rufus J. Firefly

        And Irish?

  3. President Barack Obama said that Russia is “on the wrong side of history” on Ukraine…

    We’re a world of men not laws.

    1. Obama = William Roper?

      1. Bobarian

        Obama = Mr. Roper.

    2. Rufus J. Firefly

      Given Obama’s take on history, I wouldn’t worry too much about what he says. Heard Kerry talk gibberish about Russia using 19th century tactics in the 21st century.

      Actually, and maybe military enthusiasts can perhaps concur, it’s a time honored tactic that goes back centuries.

      1. Anonymous Coward

        As opposed to the Progressive obsession with archaic methods of technology (Choos-choos, windmills, and parochialism [buy local] will save humanity!) and their even more archaic methods of governance (command and control)?

        1. PapayaSF

          Under governance, you forgot useless treaties and magical thinking.

      2. The Immaculate Trouser

        That really is a very silly thing for Kerry to have said.

        After all, didn’t Tsarist Russia’s 20th-century successor (USSR) do much the same to its neighbors?

      3. CE

        So, Kerry and Obama would have applauded Putin if he just enforced a no-fly zone in Crimea? It’s only his tactics they have a problem with?

  4. Pl?ya Manhattan.

    From the Reason SoCal Brunch.
    Baby Reason wants to be just like her daddy!

    1. The two of them have almost convinced me that having children is actually a thing people might actually enjoy doing.

      1. Pl?ya Manhattan.

        I left my kids at home for a reason.

        1. RBS

          I do not enjoy taking my son out to eat. He’s well behaved about 90% of the time, it’s just I never know when I;m going to get a 10%er.

          1. Rufus J. Firefly

            Ha, ha. Same here with my daughter. She’s nine but for me that percentage is down to 5% since you can reason with her. Still…if she’s in a foul mood or whatever…worse than digesting garlic.

          2. Pl?ya Manhattan.

            I can usually do 1 at a time, but when they are together, they just feed off each other.

            1. db

              Jesus, keep your child cannibal psychology experiments to yourself, Dr. Carter Nix.

      2. No, no. Making children is the fun part. Having them is “rewarding”.

        1. waffles

          How do you make children rewarding?

          1. Mad Scientist

            Bronze?

          2. No, no. Rewarding is one of those bullshit words you use to convince yourself that you haven’t fucked up really bad. Like “character-building”.

            1. waffles

              I’m going to describe my past jobs this way in every job interview.

            2. JW

              If my children don’t kill me in their adolescence, I’ll consider my parenting a success.

          3. hamilton

            Child slavery of course. How’d you get registered on this site again?

            1. Auric Demonocles

              He got Nick a case of suspiciously cheap ivory-framed monocles.

          4. Pl?ya Manhattan.

            Force them to do what you want.

            1. waffles

              So the NAP doesn’t apply to your own children?

              1. Noooo. Little Baby NK may want to touch the electrical cord but I’ll “aggress” to stop him from doing so.

              2. Pl?ya Manhattan.

                I don’t know. They always initiate the aggression against me first.

          5. How do you make children rewarding?

            Kidnap them?

      3. Fr?ulein Nikki

        The two of them have almost convinced me that having children is actually a thing people might actually enjoy doing.

        Right? Twisted, but true.

      4. Spoonman.

        I am fucking loving being a father so far.

    2. Episiarch

      Ken’s drinking a Shirley Temple?!? I KNEW IT.

    3. hamilton

      Why is she drinking ketchup? Were they out of artisinal mayonnaise?

      1. Auric Demonocles

        I think it’s more ironic if the mayo is in a ketchup bottle.

      2. It’s a virgin Bloody Mary.

    4. jesse.in.mb

      See, Brett, married straights with children can make time for Sunday day-drinking too. It’s just a matter of priorities.

      1. We dropped the kid off with grandma and got shit-hammered Friday night. You’re right. Totally a priorities thing.

        1. Pl?ya Manhattan.

          That’s the one thing that’s keeping me from moving from CA. I have free babysitting a mile away.

    5. Lady Bertrum

      Awwww, so cute. The babies, I mean. Sloopy and Banjos are attractive but cute is reserved for babies.

      1. Bobarian

        Banjos are attractive, but Sloopys are not.

    6. Baby Reason wants to be just like her daddy!

      That is an adorable picture.

      (bet you thought I would go all a-hole on you)

    7. Raven Nation

      Awesome!

    8. That is excellent – thanks for that!

    9. Corning

      Looks like my nightmares come alive.

  5. PD Scott

    “…but the judge ruled that as the witness is still a college student, he is not yet an expert.”

    Sorry, Bo.

    1. Episiarch

      Or is it…sorry Tulpy-Poo?

      1. Mad Scientist

        Tulpy Blue? Tulpy II? Tulpy Tulpy Doo?

        1. Episiarch

          All I know is that it’s Tulpariffic.

          1. RBS

            I still maintain that Tulpa is a woman. Or at least several of his sockpuppets are.

            1. Andrew S.

              I still maintain, based on the definition of Tulpa(e), that Tulpa is just somebody’s idea of a joke that’s gone on for a very long time.

  6. There were reports that Russia’s Navy had given Ukrainian troops in Crimea a deadline of 5 a.m. (their time) Tuesday to surrender or face an assault.

    You know who else annexed places under the pretense of protecting their own?

    1. The Borg?

    2. Bobarian

      Are we talking about Grenada, again?

    3. Drake

      So if the Ukrainian Army doesn’t surrender, the Russian Navy will…?

      I don’t get it.

  7. A 16-year-old Rockdale County middle school student was charged with statutory rape for having sex with a 14-year-old boy, according to police reports.

    According to the incident report obtained by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution from the Rockdale County Sheriff Office, Memorial Middle School officials saw video footage of the teens enter the boys’ bathroom together on Feb. 25, and emerge 10 minutes later.

    When school officials questioned the teens, both admitted to having consensual sex on the bathroom floor, authorities said.

    http://www.ajc.com/news/news/r…..oy-/nd4sL/

    Idiocy.

    1. Coeus

      Right? Use the damn stall.

    2. 16 and still in middle school?

      1. Coeus

        16 and lasted 10 minutes?

        1. The 14 yr old boy did. The girl is a felon now.

          1. Coeus

            I just assumed they were both buys, since there were charges filed. Most definitely this did not occur in California.

            1. I was wondering that at first, but hovered over the link, which clearly implies the 16-year-old is a girl.

        2. Auric Demonocles

          Maybe it was 9 minutes of foreplay and 30 seconds of clean up.

    3. Auric Demonocles

      This seems like they’re going through a lot of work just to give him his medal.

      Though this appears to be awful writing, or it’s a really messed up statute:

      According to Georgia state statute, a person commits statutory rape if the victim is at least 14 years old but less than 16 and the suspect is 18 years of age or younger and is no more than four years older than the victim.

      1. Matrix

        statuatory rape laws are often idiotic, and this is the perfect example of one.

        Sure, a 52 year old man does not need to be having sex with a 14 year old girl. But a 16 year old with a 14 year old and it is consentual between the two? Fuck the DA that decides the prosecute this. Fuck him/her with a red hot iron!

        I’ve seen similarly insane stuff with people who were only a few months apart, granted they were much younger (12 or 13). But when you’re talking about such a close age, it’s something for the families to handle, not the courts.

        1. The family of the “victim” could be pushing it.

      2. Anonymous Coward

        *Lights the Plopper signal*

    4. Matrix

      16 years old and in middle school?

      someone is certainly not an overachiever…

      1. C’mon, now. She has obviously figured out what her best quality is: Easy. Some girls never get that far.

      2. That’s an interseting question. I wonder why nobody else thought of it before.

      3. Rasilio

        The middle and high schools could share a campus.

  8. rts

    Drinking and driving law upheld by B.C. Court of Appeal

    The B.C. Civil Liberties Association had argued in court that automatic penalties under the drinking and driving law without a court process violated the right to be presumed innocent until proven guilty.

    But on Monday the B.C. Court of Appeal ruled the legislation does not replace the Criminal Code or lead to criminal punishment.

    “The legislation’s purpose and effect is to regulate highways and enhance public safety,” the court wrote.

    “The legislation does not create a criminal or quasi-criminal proceeding nor does it lead to true penal consequences and therefore, does not create an offence.”

    1. Pfft. We’re waaaay ahead of the Canucks on this. Try not cooperating with a sobriety test some time.

      1. Pl?ya Manhattan.

        “administrative suspension”

  9. Coeus

    Marcotte decided to be consistent the other day.

    Feminists are pissed. The general consensus appears to be that we should instead focus on instant and automatic conviction instead of all this court business.

    1. Anonymous Coward

      when we prosecute abusive men, what are we aiming to do?

      First of all, what’s this “we” shit? I am not the State. The State is not I.

      Second, abuse is a conclusion after findings of fact and a determination of the applicable law. A mere accusation does not a malfeasor make.

      Third, according to the CDC, there are more lesbians beating up women than men (46 percent vs 43 percent). So you should start where there is the greatest need.

      we want to minimize the harm that has come to the victim and we want to prevent the attacker from harming again (particularly by attacking in the same way as that is what’s relevant to the situation).

      No, we want to make sure that, prior to a deprivation of life, liberty, or property by the state, that the accused is guilty of the accusation beyond a reasonable doubt.

      Putting people in prison, depriving people of their liberty based on mere accusation is the easiest thing in the world. The Soviets did it all the time. Hell, the Jim Crow crowd would “prevent the attacker from harming” again by dangling from a noose sans messy, emotionally harmful trial. You don’t want to be like the Soviets and the racists, do you?

      1. Coeus

        You don’t want to be like the Soviets and the racists, do you?

        Since they’re feminist, I’m going with “yes”.

      2. JW

        No, we want to make sure that, prior to a deprivation of life, liberty, or property by the state, that the accused is guilty of the accusation beyond a reasonable doubt.

        Don’t you worry. They’ll get a fair trial and a first-class hanging.

      3. Calidissident

        “Third, according to the CDC, there are more lesbians beating up women than men (46 percent vs 43 percent). So you should start where there is the greatest need.”

        I agree with most of your post, but this is bad analysis. There are far more straight men than lesbians, so even if a slightly higher percentage of lesbians beat women, in terms of raw numbers it’s not even close. And the percentages don’t tell you how severe the harm done is.

    2. Fr?ulein Nikki

      I believe that most feminists would argue that we are seeking to stop or minimize harm. There are two elements to this: we want to minimize the harm that has come to the victim and we want to prevent the attacker from harming again (particularly by attacking in the same way as that is what’s relevant to the situation). Some people might suggest that punishment or justice is really important here, but it seems to me that the real emotions and hurt of the victims and potential future victims should come before our righteous fury.

      Well, that is only like, the polar opposite of what anyone here believes.

  10. He was there to defend the ban, but the judge ruled that as the witness is still a college student, he is not yet an expert.

    You need to be an elected official or at least a bureaucrat to be an expert at banning things.

  11. db

    President Barack Obama said that Russia is “on the wrong side of history”

    How can that be? I thought that way.back in 2008 we had the.moment when the seas.began.to.recede and the ear5h.began to heal?

    1. I think it’s going to take a long time before the ear5h begins to heal.

    2. Raven Nation

      And there was that whole re-set thing.

      http://images.teamsugar.com/fi…..-Butto.jpg

      1. db

        Pressing the reset button with Russia was like thinking that the prophecy of Anakin Skywalker bringing balance to the force would be a good thing.

  12. PD Scott

    Before, after and way after photos of the US’s first public housing projects.

  13. The Supreme Court declined to get involved in a couple of immigration law cases, leaving to stand rulings that prohibit cities from barring landlords from renting to illegal immigrants and businesses from employing them, on the basis that such rules are the responsibility of the feds.

    Too bad it wasn’t because it unconstitutionally drafts private individuals into public service as ICE agents.

  14. Warty

    The Mysterious Disappearance of Target’s Plus Size Section, Explained

    ME NO GET MUUMUU??? JEZEBEL SMASH!

    1. Episiarch

      Let’s be honest: plus-sized customers are going to be the most loyal customers if you serve them well and the most vicious if you don’t, so a smart businesses will cater to them. Lane Bryant understands this well.

      1. Warty

        Oh yeah, definitely. That’s why I’m so excited to announce the spring line of Uncle Warty’s FattyFashions. Now with the all-new mega absorbency of WartyFabric!

      2. Rasilio

        Yeah but Lane Bryant doesn’t do a very good job of it either. Virtually all of the plus sized women I know hate Lane Bryant

        1. Episiarch

          Maybe they should try Uncle Warty’s FattyFashions, then. No offence.

          1. Warty

            We offer a full line of sizes from Mega-Extra-Fat to Gargantua-Sweatwhale. And for a limited time only, use the promo code GUNTFLAP to recieve 10% off your entire order and a complimentary reinforced toilet.

            1. What’s shipping look like costwise? Interested in that terlet.

              1. Warty

                Free shipping with the signature of an agreement to provide 1 kilogram of fetal material to WartyTech Industries Incorporated.

      3. gaijin

        Lame Giant

    2. The schizophrenia of having both an “obesity is an epidemic we need to fight” ethos, and a “how dare you not like my extreme body size” ethos never ceases to astonish me.

      1. Hate the fat but love the fatty?

      2. Fr?ulein Nikki

        Well then you’re in for a treat when Gawker’s Hamilton Nolan tries to tell them their doctor is probably not fat-shaming them.

    3. They did an actuarial study of how much it would cost to add fleets of Rascals in each store, and decided it wasn’t worth it.

    4. Episiarch

      “Yeah, if that dress had pockets, you’d look like a pool table. You should try my Tall & Fat stores. No offense.”

      1. Dr. Frankenstien

        + No Respect

      2. Marshall Gill

        “If you want to look thin, hang out with fat people!”

    5. Mad Scientist

      You can still get plus-sized clothing from Amazon.

      1. Pl?ya Manhattan.

        Nice one.

      2. Bobarian

        Stripes are slimming…

        Unless they’re in your underwear.

    6. Zeb

      I like the comments asking where women without enough money to shop at a higher end place are supposed to go now. How about fucking Walmart? I assume that all the land whales I see shopping in there also buy there clothes there.

      One thing Target has done brilliantly is to convince the sort of people who think that Walmart is evil that they are OK and kind of cool. It’s the same fucking thing with a slightly more aesthetically pleasing design.

      1. Episiarch

        Target: we’re a half step above WalMart…but it’s still something!

  15. PD Scott

    “The best” parodies of Ellen’s Oscar selfie.

    1. Zeb

      How the fuck is it a selfie if there are a bunch of other people in it? Why the fuck is “selfie” even a word? Get off my lawn! You fuckin’ kids go pee on your own lawn!

      1. PD Scott

        You’re correct, it should be known as a “groupie”.

    2. Corning

      nick cage parody needs more bees.

  16. Certified Public Asskicker

    How to Pay for School With No Student Debt

    Let’s get rid of student debt. Let’s replace it with a system where investors fund students’ full tuition in exchange for a piece of the students’ future earnings for some defined time period, say the next ten years. Here in Dubai at the S P Jain School of Global Management our graduates’ incomes triple on average as a result of our MBA program, so I doubt any would object to sharing, say 15% of their annual income with someone who paid for their tuition.

    1. Certified Public Asskicker

      Of course, Huffpo commenters are much smarter:

      Better idea. Reduce the military budget by 10 percent and make college free for everyone.

      1. Pl?ya Manhattan.

        Free? I’m adding that to the list of words that liberals have redefined.

        1. JW

          Taxes are just like background white noise.

        2. MJGreen

          Free gratis.

      2. gaijin

        make college free for everyone.

        That will certainly make free more expensive for everyone

        1. Certified Public Asskicker

          No, you missed the part where all we have to do is cut the military by 10%.

          1. waffles

            It’s like they live in a world where everything they could possibly want is available to just give away but the evil capitalist war machine has to deny them to keep them being a good worker bee.

        2. Zeb

          And make college more useless.

    2. Andrew S.

      In theory, as a voluntary thing on both sides, that’s not the worst idea in the world.

      However, it would be about two seconds after graduation where there would be calls, both from the graduated students and from others, that having to give 15% of their annual income to a “One percenter” is ridiculously unfair, followed by proposed legislation to ban having to give over the portion of their income (without having to repay the $$$ paid for school).

      1. Certified Public Asskicker

        Yeah, the Huffpo readers are shitting their pants already over the idea.

    3. Warty

      So instead of paying back a loan, they want to indenture themselves for a set time period. I’m not seeing the improvement.

      1. Mad Scientist

        This is simple. They’ll set it up so the debt is forgiven if it’s not paid back within X number of years. Then they’ll spend X number of years touring Europe and working on their music.

        1. waffles

          Who would make such a shitty investment then?

          1. Mad Scientist

            You will! Or, rather, the federal government will “invest” in our glorious future for you! Everyone wins!

            1. Rufus J. Firefly

              No wonder the bond market has sucked for so long!

          2. gaijin

            The financial services firms administering Obama’s myRA accounts?

      2. Episiarch

        I’m not seeing the fucking difference. In fact, with the debt, you have total freedom as long as you’re paying it back. With the indenture, you’re stuck. So wouldn’t it be way fucking worse?

        1. Warty

          Of course it would, but it sounds more fair. Or something. I don’t know, how do you expect me to understand what profound idiots are thinking?

          1. Episiarch

            Aren’t you the Profound Idiot Whisperer? You understand them at a cellular level?

            1. Fr?ulein Nikki

              No, Epi, he can rape them at a cellular level.

              1. Episiarch

                Of course, of course. I should have realized that. You know what, nicole? Today, you aren’t the worst. You can thank Tulpa for that. Or don’t, I don’t really care.

                1. Warty

                  Wait. A. Minute. How do we know nicole’s not another one of Tulpa’s sockpuppets? How do we know???

                  1. Nicole writes posts that are normal and not peevish.

                    Tulpa never managed to get his peevishness below 11…. ever.

                  2. Fr?ulein Nikki

                    We know because he doesn’t talk to me.

          2. Certified Public Asskicker

            Definitely more fair. I mean, what if we had a system where people might actually have to work in order to pay for their school. Can you imagine the chaos!?

      3. This was my idea–bring back indentured servitude. Most of them still need to learn a trade, anyway.

        1. Warty

          Isn’t it time we explored the merits of reintroducing serfdom? I mean, some of these idiots obviously could benefit from being told what to do, and they’d love the whole prima nocte thing besides.

          1. Episiarch

            No, you love the prima nocte thing. What was it you said to me? Oh yeah: “it’s not as ultrarapey as I usually like but it’ll do in a pinch.”

          2. Of course, prima nocte is a myth, but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t be introduced in the modern version of serfdom.

            Manorialism is a perfectly fine way of doing things, provided that you are not a serf.

    4. Auric Demonocles

      That’s not really much different than having debt, it’s just that you’re paying a percentage instead of a fixed cost. It’d be an awful choice for people going to actually productive programs.

    5. Rasilio

      Err

      The average college grad in the US makes about $55,000 a year and over the course of 10 years they will probably on average get up to about $75,000.

      That comes out to roughly $97500 on average.

      If you assume that they had to borrow $50,000 you are only looking at about an average of a 6% rate of return on a 15 year investment (20 years if they go to Grad school), one that I should add has a VERY large chance of not panning out.

      Even among the kids who successfully graduate half the investors will earn less than 6% but given the percentage of students who never graduate somewhere around half of all investors will actually lose money

      1. 2ndClassProle

        At the plant we have several young people on the CNC’s making 16 dollars and hour, which around thirty two thousand a year. I always tell them they are starting out good. Plus with bennies and cost of living in Oklahoma, they will do well.

    6. Raven Nation

      Some U.S. states are already doing this with financial aid.

  17. jesse.in.mb

    There were reports that Russia’s Navy had given Ukrainian troops in Crimea a deadline of 5 a.m. (their time) Tuesday to surrender or face an assault. Officials with the Russian Black Sea Fleet say the ultimatum does not exist. President Barack Obama said that Russia is “on the wrong side of history” on Ukraine, showing how badly that worthless phrase needs to be retired.

    RT bringing the facts on the Crimea situation.

    Don’t worry, Ted, it’s a still image, not a gif or gallery.

    1. You think I can’t tell that from the .png extension? 😉

      Now, if you’d like me to complain, I could point out that PNG is a less effecient encoding scheme for distributing images on the internet than JPG.

      1. For photographs. For line art, PNG is far superior to JPG.

        1. gaijin

          +1 red line art

        2. Gah; I meant to say “photographic images”.

      2. jesse.in.mb

        I could point out that PNG is a less effecient encoding scheme for distributing images on the internet than JPG.

        I seem to remember a web design friend wishing that png files were the standard because of how they encode color, but this was back when you were still likely to get really bad color banding. I think png was 16-bit and jpg was 8-bit by default. I’m not sure how he’d feel now.

    2. Red Rocks Rockin

      President Barack Obama said that Russia is “on the wrong side of history” on Ukraine, showing how badly that worthless phrase needs to be retired.

      What a chump. This is a country whose sympathizers in the Culture War brought that very phrase into use right here in the US. Does Obama really think Putin’s going to be shamed with a bunch of Alinskyite rhetoric?

      Hell, at least Reagan knew to play to their egos by calling the Soviet Union the Evil Empire.

  18. rts

    What makes an aggressive dog, and how you can spot one

    A dog’s breed is only one of many factors that influence its capacity for aggression, according to a new study published recently in the journal Applied Animal Behaviour Science.

    More telling clues to aggression might be the age of the owner, the training the dog has received, the place the dog was obtained and the gender of the dog, the researchers found.

    1. PD Scott

      If the dog is so much as looking at a cop, it’s aggressive and needs to be put down immediately.

      1. hamilton

        That behavioral descriptor pretty much fits the protocol for any perpetrator, not just the canine variety.

      2. Auric Demonocles

        Also, if the dog is looking away from the cop, it’s trying to reach for a hidden gun.

        1. PD Scott

          Or trying to fool the cop into thinking someone is sneaking up on him so the cop will look away right before launching at his throat.

          Damnably clever, those aggressive dogs.

    2. db

      Somebody paid for a study on this? Jeez, just ask a cop. All dogs are aggressive, and like “civilians,” exist at the pleasure of cops.

  19. Coeus

    Accidentally Gay

    For some transgender men, there is a real loss of community because as a straight man, they don’t fit the lesbian scene anymore. Yet, they are still the T, in the LGBT, and that loss of community is disconcerting.

    I find myself on the opposite side of that, in that I have been married to the same man for 21 years, and now that I’m transitioning, I’m not just shifting the gender the world sees, but also my relationship status.

    I have always been very fluid in my sexuality, but my husband is mostly straight. We joke he is just “gay enough” to stay with me and accept me now that my exterior is matching my interior. However, it does mean I accidentally made him gay for all intents and purposes in how we are perceived in public.

    1. jesse.in.mb

      I’d argue they’re over-thinking it a bit, but that’s actually really sweet that he’s being supportive like that. Not everyone is.

      1. Coeus

        You wouldn’t expect them to be.

        1. Coeus

          Scratch that, shouldn’t expect them to be.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            Agreed. Which is why I’ve got warm and fuzzies that this guy is being a mensch about it.

  20. PD Scott

    Does this mean honeycomb will have to be recycled? Some bees have started using plastic as a building material
    FTA:
    The team considered the possibility of the bees using the plastic by accident, but a few clues suggest intention on the part of the insects. Not only did the bees use the plastic when the leaves were available ? they left a different set of teeth markings on the synthetic stuff. Maclvor notes that, “bee naivet? does not appear to be the cause for the use of plastic.” In fact, he suggests sudden abundance of plastic could create a new branch in the evolutionary tree separating city-dwelling bees who have learned to work with the material from their country cousins

    1. Matrix

      So will these bees become pretentious, elitist, and vote Democrat?

      Well, then they’d probably get lazy, stop working and demand subsidies for their hive projects, unionize, and decide to only produce 1/4 of the amount of honey they used to at triple their “wages” whatever those may be.

      1. PD Scott

        You forgot about them insisting on artisanal pollen.

    2. SIV

      COSMOBEES

  21. Coeus

    This is what passes for feminist humor.

    1. You’re not getting me to click on that link. I bet it’s really a link to deep-dish photos.

      1. PapayaSF

        No, but they are remarkably unfunny.

        1. mr simple

          That is incredibly dull, especially for all the press it seems to have gotten.

  22. PD Scott

    You’d think they’d buy just one or two models to make the logistics easier: Cop cars of Dubai you wish you could drive

    1. PD Scott

      One of them is a Brabus SUV, btw, though not as “nice” as the one we were discussing the other day.

  23. Whole Foods’ customers are assholes. I agree. Assholes like me, who park in the spaces up front reserved for electric vehicles. Because why the fuck should a bunch of idiots buying 19th century technology get a special space?

    1. db

      There are so.many protected.classes for parking spaces now it.is ridiculous. What the fuck are theybgoing to do.about.it anyway?

      1. I knew I loved my wife when she said almost exactly the same thing as she swung into the front row spot. “Hybrid my ass, those fuckers can walk like everyone else. What are they going to do about it? Leave me an angry note?”

        1. db

          Let’s see how fuckg great your gas mileage is on two.flat tires, fuckhead.

          1. Please. As if they know enough about cars to flatten two tires. They probably think the wee demons in their hood just require smaller sacrifices than the fire demons under my hood.

            1. db

              No, I meant that’s what you say to them as they back out over the caltrops you carelessly dropped while crossing behind.them.

              1. Ah. Okay. Yes. Because I will drive all 47 miles behind a fully charged Volt with two flat tires if necessary in the opposite scenario.

                1. db

                  Why would you stay behind.it when you can.overtake and run it.off the road?

        2. I’m reminded of the Seinfeld episode where a bunch of people vandalize the group’s car for parking in a handicapped spot.

        3. Mad Scientist

          They could start a drum circle around your car. You’ll never get that smell out!

      2. Mickey Rat

        Whole Foods could have your car towed?

    2. PD Scott

      My car runs on gasoline, which is an alternative fuel to coal or whale oil, so why shouldn’t I park in the alternative fuel spaces?

      1. Steve G

        Because those spots have been given to postpartum (within 6 months) women

        1. gaijin

          and able bodied people who have special stickers

        2. PD Scott

          You’re supposed to eat the afterbirth, not turn it into biofuel.

    3. Episiarch

      In the garage for my club, the electric car spaces are relegated to about as far away from the doors as you can get. No need to steal their spots. I like that.

    4. A couple of months back I saw a photo posted to one of those newspaper “post your own photo” forums of a BMW parked next to a sign saying “For low-emission vehicles”. Some wag pointed out that a parked car isn’t emitting any CO2. 🙂

    5. Pl?ya Manhattan.

      I have been hit by cars, twice, in the Whole Foods parking lot. Both times by Priuses, the second time while I was carrying a baby in the crosswalk.

      1. jesse.in.mb

        So they’re ineffective at killing off the enemies of their tribe. At least that’s promising.

    6. Andrew S.

      That all being said, I rented a hybrid car when traveling over Christmas. Given the length of my commute, I’m without a doubt buying a hybrid as my next car. Don’t give a shit about smugness, care about how much gas money it’ll save me.

      1. Pl?ya Manhattan.

        I have no problem with the Lexus RX400h. I actually like driving the one I borrow from time to time.

      2. I’m still not sold on TCO. YMMV. The batteries are a big whatif.

        1. Pl?ya Manhattan.

          I haven’t really crunched the numbers. How does leasing hold up?

          1. Never looked at leasing. Probably not a bad idea if you can keep it within the mileage. I’m not a great candidate for that.

      3. JW

        Don’t give a shit about smugness, care about how much gas money it’ll save me.

        Do your man card a favor and get a turbo-diesel.

  24. Steve G

    Completely amused at the amount of socon FB friends who are liking/sharing conservative pundits expressing their approval of McConaughey thanking god in his acceptance speech. Naturally I felt the need to troll w/ this:

    1. Catholic dogma on condom use results in the needless death of millions of Africans.
    2. Matthew McConaughey wins Oscar portraying an anti-establishment AIDS warrior.
    3. Prominent Catholics shamelessly gush over his acceptance speech because he thanks God.
    Un-believable.

    No one’s taken the bait yet.

    1. gaijin

      Naturally I felt the need to troll w/ this:

      Plus he’s a Texas alum.

    2. Notorious G.K.C.

      Africans who comply with Catholic doctrine and reserve sex for marriage with someone of the opposite sex are simply killing each other off with cooties!

      1. jesse.in.mb

        I’m actually with EvH on this, unless you’re in a place that’s so thoroughly Catholic that condoms aren’t available, you have no right to complain about Catholic doctrine on condoms unless you’re in a rigorously enforced monogamous heterosexual marriage.

    3. Steve G

      set the hook:
      “End of the day, Catholics have choice on what they choose to do judged by God. Funny, I don’t c the atheist organizations provide care like the roman Catholic church who BTW, is largest caregiver in the world for AIDS. As for mathew mc, lots of Christians praised him for thanking God going against Hollywood anti-establishment. Good for him. Portraying anti-establishment doesn’t make u anti-christian.”

    4. Oh, that’s why he won. I was really beginning to suspect I’d fallen through some interdimensional rift into a universe where he’s a good actor.

      1. mr simple

        I don’t know if I’ve seen much Matt besides a chick flick I was forced to watch by some ex, but I’ve been amazed by the amount of people crying about Leo getting stiffed. I usually prefer my leading men to be able to, I don’t know, show emotion and act to be able to win an award. In what world is Leo a good actor?

        1. He’s okay in some roles, but I agree completely–not some disrespected great actor. No clue why Scorsese has latched on to him.

  25. Damned Fool

    Jesus, you fail to read two articles?

    For those who were paying attention:

    a) What did Tulpa do last night beyond the usual pedantic sophistry? And who is Rollo?

    b) What is up with the buttplug and 8%?

    I don’t really feel like searching for the original references, so help would be much appreciated.

    1. PD Scott

      a)Tulpa was commenting on something and forgot to logout as Rollo, i.e. Rollo is one of his sockpuppets.
      b)He posted a poll about satisfaction w Obamacare – he left in the stat that only 8% like it the way it is.

      1. RBS

        Tulpa also compared itself to Paris Hilton.

        1. They’re both diseased sluts?

          With apologies to Paris Hilton, of course.

      2. Auric Demonocles

        To expand slightly on b: He was trying to make the point that Obamacare is popular.

    2. I cited a poll in which a new low of 31% want to repeal O-care.

      In the same poll only 8% like the law exactly as it is now.

      So the Peanuts used the 8% number to attack the ACA. Fine with me. It is truthful.

      But also the truth – a new low want full repeal.

      1. 2ndClassProle

        100% CUNT!!!

        1. Episiarch

          Careful, guys…you’re chapping Tulpa’s ass here.

        2. Sarah Palin? I agree.

          The bitch is so fucking stupid her cunt outsmarts that Alaska-baked brain.

          1. 2ndClassProle

            So stupid she was correct about Russia, and so was Romney. Too, bad we do not have Republicans in the majority, they would set this country straight.

            1. Mike M.

              She has more brains in her fingernail than Weigel the vermin here has in that pile of shit between his ears.

    3. Rasilio

      “And who is Rollo?”

      Why he is Ragnar Lothbrok’s brother of course

      1. It’s the name of the lead character in Graham Green’s The Third Man. Carol Reed changed it to “Holly Martins” because Rollo sounded too gay.

  26. Coeus

    Krugman rides again

    If spending had tracked what happened under Bush II, discretionary spending would be about a third ? or more than 2 percent of GDP ? higher. Since there is good reason to believe that the multiplier is 1.5 or more, this would mean real GDP 3-plus percent higher, closing much if not most of the output gap, and probably an unemployment rate below 5.5 percent. In short, we would have had a vastly healthier economy but for the de facto victory of disastrous austerity policies.

    1. Coeus

      Roger McKinney Broken Arrow, OK Yesterday
      All government spending boosts aggregate demand according to Keynes, Mr. Krugman’s hero. So there is no economic reason for fixating on discretionary spending. At the same time, discretionary spending is a very small part of the federal budget. BTW, there is no good reason to think the multiplier is 1.5. Better estimates put it at less than 1. rdmckinney.blogspot.com

      Most succinct rebuttal I’ve ever seen of Krugman. It’s usually hard to unravel his obfuscations that plainly.

    2. Krugby is mad the GOP used most of the stimulus 2001-09.

    3. Auric Demonocles

      Ah yes, the terrible, crippling austerity of the highest spending 6 year period in history.

      1. gaijin

        Since there is good reason to believe

        Krugman, the high priest of the Keynesian religion. Seriously, if what they said was true, why wouldn;t they advocate for handing out trillions to every man, woman and child…to create GDP growth of eleventy percent?

      2. Rufus J. Firefly

        Eight years of Bush ruined the history of mankind.

        8 years into thousands of years of civilization.

        I think a case can be made he led to the death of Socrates and Cicero.

  27. jesse.in.mb

    Robert Mugabe surprised to learn there are homos in his country. Vows to investigate:

    I understand we have a group of homosexuals in this country. I didn’t know until I was told the day before yesterday. So we want to check on who is in that group.

    Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition gay rights groups to exist in your country!

    The human right you have as a man is to marry another woman not to get another man to marry, we refuse that

    And a chunk of our commentariate agrees.

    Mugabe has said in the past:

    If you take men and lock them in a house for five years and tell them to come up with two children and they fail to do that, then we will chop off their heads. This thing (homosexuality) seeks to destroy our lineage by saying John and John should wed, Maria and Maria should wed.

    Let’s just hope he’s being hyperbolic, but ya know TIA!

    1. Andrew S.

      For many, many reasons, the day Mugabe dies is going to be a very bright day for humanity.

      1. Invisible Finger

        Wonder why the US isn’t going after this piece of shit.

    2. PD Scott

      “Surely we’ve starved them to death before now, right?” Mugabe wondered aloud.

    3. Warty

      How Tulpical of him.

      1. JW

        Mugabe is occasionally ruling under a different name and acting like a bigger cunt, so he can help his countrymen understand how lucky they are to have him?

    4. Episiarch

      Considering everything else he’s done to that country, I don’t think he’s being hyperbolic. I mean, is their inflation hyperbolic?

      1. jesse.in.mb

        Considering everything else he’s done to that country, I don’t think he’s being hyperbolic. I mean, is their inflation hyperbolic? I’m Zimbabweans will be prime for a scapegoating witch hunt.

        1. Episiarch

          Well, that’s the point, isn’t it? A tactic as old as time, or maybe the Jews. Wait, were there homos before Jews? No, right?

          1. Warty

            I thought homos are Jews. Or are Jews homos? Fuck. I can’t keep all these homo Jews straight.

            1. Corning

              You are both wrong.

              The British are the homos.

              1. jesse.in.mb

                The British are the homos.

                Only when it’s convenient, they’re drunk, one of their friends is offering to trade handies, or it’s raining someplace in the former British empire.

                So always.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            Wait, were there homos before Jews? No, right?

            You weren’t supposed to figure it out, but we’re actually all animated by a bit of Talmudic script on our tongues. We’re a clever attempt to distract the world from Jew hate, which is why we fill a similar hate niche like stealing good Christian babies and turning them into homos instead of matzoh.

            1. Mad Scientist

              A homo stole my baby!

            2. Episiarch

              Golems are homosexual?!? Oh my god, the Golem of Prague makes sense now!

              1. jesse.in.mb

                All homos are golems, not all golems are homos. It’s one of those square:rectangle::homos:golems things.

                1. PD Scott

                  Idea for a weird country/Jewish mysticism song: “Rabbis, don’t let your golems grow up to be homos”

                  1. Episiarch

                    I like the way you think, Scott.

                  2. jesse.in.mb

                    Look, if you can get a klezmer/bluegrass fusion band to play a song about gay golems, I guarantee maximum youtube virality.

                    1. “a klezmer/bluegrass fusion band”

                      Wha…?!

                    2. jesse.in.mb

                      Wha…?!

                      Clearly someone would have to form a klezmer/bluegrass fusion band first, but it would be the greatest hipster-baiting caper EVER. Besides both are fiddle heavy. I’m sure it can be pulled off. Throw some sidelocks on some hill people and some overalls on some Eastern European Jews…

                2. So was Golem in Lord of the Rings a homo? Because if he was, I don’t see why he couldn’t have lasted til the end when all the guys were hugging, kissing and crying near the boat.

                  But then, maybe I just don’t understand cinema.

                  1. Warty

                    What do you think the ring symbolized, you fool? I mean, he sticks his finger in it and then he gets covered in hot goo. God. I don’t know how to talk to you idiots who don’t have degrees in Homo Art History.

                    1. Episiarch

                      That sounds a lot more like squirting than whatever homos do. They, like, go to musical theater and accessorize the living room, right? Anything else?

                    2. jesse.in.mb

                      Anything else?

                      Gentrification, mainstreaming anal sex (according to some conservative scolds), dinner parties and bottomless mimosa brunches. Don’t act like we haven’t been a civilizing force in the universe.

                    3. Episiarch

                      O Rly, jesse? And is Glee a “civilizing force”? I think not.

                    4. jesse.in.mb

                      O Rly, jesse? And is Glee a “civilizing force”? I think not.

                      Think about how many more teens are too socially awkward due to contact with Glee to have knock someone up or get knocked up. I didn’t say our methods were always pretty.

                    5. The Immaculate Trouser

                      If accounts are to be believed, y’all are also to blame for most of Greco-Roman civilization. So there’s that.

      2. Invisible Finger

        hyperbolic, parabolic, same thing.

    5. I understand we have a group of homosexuals in this country. I didn’t know until I was told the day before yesterday

      So he’s channeling Obama now?

    6. The Immaculate Trouser

      I understand we have a group of homosexuals in this country.

      Great opening line if you’re trying to start some conversation at a bar with someone of the opposite sex.

  28. PD Scott

    Coming soon: stories of how pine trees are endangered just because some peasant wants to drink clean water.
    FTA
    In lab tests, pieces of the sapwood were glued into the inside of rubber tubes, which E. coli-contaminated water was then flowed through. When the wood was subsequently examined, approximately 99 percent of the bacteria that had been in the water was found to be trapped around the pit membranes in the first few millimeters of the filter. According to the researchers’ calculations, a single 1.5-inch-wide sapwood filter could be used to produce up to 1 US gal of drinking water per day. It couldn’t be allowed to dry out when not in use, however.

  29. Certified Public Asskicker

    Warren Buffet, not down with raising minimum wage

    “The Earned Income Tax Credit I think is much clearer,” Buffett said. “That puts more money in the pockets of people earning low wages and that’s what I’d like to see.”

    Ugh.

    1. Warty

      I bet you he owns a lot of stock in H&R Block or equivalent.

      1. Berkshire is about as diversified as the SP 500 with mostly chemicals, transportation, energy, and banking.

        I know, Buffett is despised here because he is a liberal.

        So is Google, Apple, Microsoft, Facebook, Netflix, Oracle, and so many of our other capitalist superstars.

        I never thought I would need to defend capitalists on a Libertarian board.

        But I am alone here!

        1. Jordan

          While you’re busy defending capitalists, we’re busy defending capitalism from the hordes of regulations, laws, and taxes that progressives like you slavishly defend.

        2. Andrew S.

          Christ, PB. I know you’re intellectually dishonest, but can you just once look at actual facts instead of just spewing bullshit? Please?

          Buffett is not reviled because he’s a liberal. Buffett is reviled because he continuously advocates for government regulation and crony capitalism that just happens to help himself and his business holdings, positions for which the media and many on team blue (like yourself) fellates him.

          1. Jordan

            And he advocates higher taxes on everyone else, yet for some reason does not send gifts to the treasury.

            1. PapayaSF

              And, in fact, fights the IRS when they say one of his companies has been underpaying taxes.

              1. I thought the IRS was all anti-TeaBag now! And here they are fighting Berkshire!

                1. PapayaSF

                  Obviously the two are not mutually exclusive. Let me know when they go after OFA, Media Matters, Obama’s brother’s “charity,” and hundreds of other lefty 501(c)(4)s.

          2. That is completely false, Andrew S.

            Buffett never advocates for MORE regulation and attacked Obamacare as “needless regulation”.

            You are obviously poorly informed. As proof I will back up my statements and will challenge you to back up yours (you cannot).

            1. Certified Public Asskicker

              What about TARP?

              Nevermind, go fuck yourself.

              1. When did Buffett bribe the Bushpigs?

                Never mind – he didn’t.

                1. Certified Public Asskicker

                  So then, he was against it and you have proof of this?

                  1. 2ndClassProle

                    Buffet was definitely for it, especially since he had three billion in preferred stock in Goldman.

            2. Marshall Gill

              As proof I will back up my statements

              No you will not, because you can’t.

        3. Rasilio

          “I never thought I would need to defend capitalists on a Libertarian board.”

          That’s because you are too stupid to understand that there is more than 1 type of capitalism in the world and libertarians only support Free Market Capitalism. Crony Capitalism and Fascist Corporatism are right out and possibly even worse than Social Democracy

          1. More lies.

            Let me tell you who the fucking fascists are – the energy industry that supported the Iraq invasion to acquire oil leases behind one Dickless Cheney and his “energy committee”.

            1. Restoras

              That would make them ‘warmongers’ not fascists. If it were true.

              1. Wrong. Fascism combines corporate interests with national security interests.

                Iraq was both.

            2. Rasilio

              And what makes you think any of us supports “the energy industry”?

              Sure we support the use of Fossil Fuels over the the illusion of green magic and we’ll back “the energy industry” in some fights where their opponents are even more odius than they are but at the end of the day cronyism is cronyism and we want to strip out all the special benefits and carveouts that they and everyone else has.

              That said the energy industry is not fascist in the least Cronyist to be sure but not fascist. The Auto Manufacturers are much closer to a Fascist model.

            3. The Last American Hero

              Or insurance salesmen from Omaha that agitate for death taxes so they can sell policies to small business holders.

            4. The Last American Hero

              See also train owners that oppose the development of oil pipelines to keep their competition at bay.

            5. PapayaSF

              the energy industry that supported the Iraq invasion to acquire oil leases

              Those who claim that the U.S. invaded Iraq in 2003 to get control of the country’s giant oil reserves will be left scratching their heads by the results of last weekend’s auction of Iraqi oil contracts: Not a single U.S. company secured a deal in the auction of contracts that will shape the Iraqi oil industry for the next couple of decades.

        4. Corning

          Google, Apple, Microsoft, Facebook, Netflix, and Oracle didn’t get their money by stealing from tax payers.

          Also Buffett is not hated here as much as you think. We all know how much money he has put into legalization initiatives.

          let me put it this way: We hate him for all the stuff you love him for and we love him for all the stuff you hate him for.

          1. Corning

            hmm i may have confused buffett with Soros…

            yeah Buffett is pretty much a pile of shit.

      2. Episiarch

        Hey Warty, Tulpa’s talking to you. Are you going to respond or what?

        1. Warty

          Nope

      3. Seriously, if you don’t have any exotic assets like 99% of the people who go to H&R Block, why not just fill out the Turbotax 1040EZ in like, 15 minutes for free? There ain’t no billion dollars there. That’s 50 million people getting an average of $20 back. Save the $20 H&R Block charges and call it a win.

        1. Episiarch

          This is why H&R Block, over the last few years, bought up much of the small “submit your simple tax return for free” websites that had sprung up.

          H&R Block’s web presence and application suite is shit, and has been for a while, while Intuit has been kicking their ass on this. But they still hold the brick-and-mortar scene, where people who aren’t comfortable submitting their simple taxes online can go into an H&R Block shop and talk to a human, albeit one who will do a terrible job on their tax return. The jousting between H&R Block and Intuit is the interesting part of this space.

          1. Pope Jimbo

            My wife used to work at H&R Block and it drove her nuts at how many people would take the “instant rebate” instead of waiting the couple weeks to get it.

            I can’t remember the exact numbers, but the instant payoff is really a loan from H&R Block that ends up with interest rates that would make Monty Burns blush.

        2. Warty

          All I know is I see a shitload of H&R Blocks in strip malls in the hood. Maybe Section 8 and EBT make taxes complicated to deal with or something.

          1. Maybe stupid and poor go together.

        3. Certified Public Asskicker

          This. Unfortunately, people are very stupid.

          I do my friend’s taxes and his brother was bragging about all the money he got back at H&R (his only income being a W-2). He thought I wasn’t doing enough for my friend to “get his money back.”

          Except, the brother doesn’t claim any allowances on his W-4.

          1. Yeah. I ended up $185 to the good, with new job and higher pay, new wife, joint filing, and baby; but with some capital gains on some 15 year old Dell stock. So I’m trying to do the math to figure out if my wife can bump her withholding down. Fuck free loans to Uncle Sam.

            1. I’ve built up a spreadsheet over the years that mimics the tax forms pretty well. I can compute withholding and estimated taxes due to fine-tune my payday amounts.

              … Hobbit

    2. Certified Public Asskicker

      Another Huffpo genius:

      People keep on saying that if you raise the minimum wage, you will destroy jobs.
      Okayyyy…so, please, point out to me a business operating in the US of A today that actually has MORE employees than the Absolute Minimum necessary to do the job. It sure isn’t any of the stores that I shop in, as they really, really all need to hire more check-out staff.

      1. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a person use an example to support their argument that so perfectly and utterly destroys their argument.

        1. Certified Public Asskicker

          If I had the time to start an Internet Comment Hall of Fame, it would be my first inductee.

      2. gaijin

        operating in the US of A today that actually has MORE employees than the Absolute Minimum necessary

        This dude obviously sees government as the model for employment.

      3. Anonymous Coward

        point out to me a business operating in the US of A today that actually has MORE employees than the Absolute Minimum necessary to do the job.

        The federal government?

        It sure isn’t any of the stores that I shop in, as they really, really all need to hire more check-out staff.

        Your store of choice could put in a self-checkout, assuming you live in an area not populated by petty thieving fuckwits.

  30. …America’s massive $799 billion anti-poverty programs for focusing so much on means-testing for benefits that it discourages the poor from working to improve their financial situations.

    The road to the soup kitchen is paved with good intentions.

  31. I want to suggest a movie for you Peanuts – a dead-on parody of Marin County liberals made in 1979 with about 10 famous bit actors you know well.

    It is hilarious. Martin Mull is the star.

    The name of the movie is Serial.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt00…..fn_al_tt_1

  32. Max Power

    Check out the Camden Police on twitter:
    Thoughts and prayers to PPD Officer Penn who was shot while returning home after his tour of duty
    @PhillyPolice

    A Philly cop got shot the other night outside of his house, which is what I think they’re referring to. I mean, Camden is like a war zone, but come on.

  33. Coeus

    White men as a group vote republican because they vote their resentments

    The projection is palpable. War on women? 99 percent?

    1. Episiarch

      The projection is always palpable. Because it’s the core of their being. You don’t need to link these stories, because we already know exactly what’s in them: massive projection, hatred, envy, and anger. Rinse, repeat.

      1. waffles

        So when I hate you I really am hating myself?

    2. The Last American Hero

      How do groups that vote 92 plus monolithically vote?

  34. PD Scott

    So Saturday I went to an estate sale where the dude seemed to have every book ever written in English about WW2 (especially about WW2 aviation), then Sunday I hear a strange rumblely engine noise in the sky (I live under a glidepath for a small airport), look out and see a B-17 flying over. Too bad my camera wasn’t handy.

    1. Notorious G.K.C.

      Jonathan Merritt has a slam-dunk argument for the government telling businesses which customers to serve – an argument which should definitely win over the evangelicals! And he manages to insult Unitarians in the process.

      “”I’d like to purchase a wedding cake,” the glowing young woman says as she clutches the arm of her soon-to-be husband. “We’re getting married at the Baptist church downtown this coming spring.”

      “I’m sorry, madam, but I’m not going to be able to help you,” the clerk replies without expression.

      “”Why not?” the bewildered bride asks.

      “”Because you are Christians. I am Unitarian and disapprove of your belief that everyone except those within your religion are damned to eternal hell. Your church’s teachings conflict with my religious beliefs. I’m sorry.””

      http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/a…..ul/284164/

      1. Notorious G.K.C.

        That was supposed to be it’s own comment, not a response to PD Scott. My apologies.

      2. “Because you are Christians. I am Unitarian and disapprove of question your belief that everyone except those within your religion are damned to eternal hell, should hell actually exist. Your church’s teachings conflict with my religious beliefsintuitions. I’m sorry‘d like to convene a committee to foster open dialogue between all members of the community on this matter.”

        1. Notorious G.K.C.

          Yup.

    2. PapayaSF

      Nice!

    3. Restoras

      Those things are LOUD…

    4. Warty

      A couple years ago, I was driving home and noticed a B-25 flying overhead. I investigated, and found out that a B-25 and a B-17 were visiting the city that weekend, so obviously I went down to Burke Lakefront Airport and geeked out like I was 12 years old again. WW2 planes are the fucking coolest thing ever.

      1. Restoras

        Both of those were at my local airport this past fall, in White Plains, NY. I wonder if they are the same two?

      2. IIRC, all of the remaining airworthy B-17s are actually post war aircraft.

    5. SIV

      The Memphis Belle was at PDK. You could’ve had a 30 minute ride for around $400.

      1. Case in point. The real Memphis Belle (41-24485) is currently pieces lying in a hanger at Wright-Pat AFB. The plane flying around claiming to be the Memphis Belle (44-83546) is a post-war fire-fighting plane that was converted to look like a combat version for the movie.

  35. Restoras

    Any avid skiers among the commentariat? Thinking of buying Blizzard Magnum 8.1 in 165cm or Volkl RTM 81s.

    1. PD Scott

      IIRC Kaptious Kristen (apologies if I have the name wrong) has several times written about her love for skiing. You might want to try asking during the morning links.

    2. waffles

      Carvers? You really can’t go wrong with these if you’re looking to be a groomer hero. Not that you can’t ski all types with it, but I like something burlier for the off-piste.

      1. Restoras

        I like to go fast and make lots of turns. I occasionally venture into bumps and trees. Right now my skiing time is about evenly split between East and West. I am on 5 year old K2 Apache Recons that SUCK and since I am now single I can buy whatever kind of skis I want! Woohoo!

        1. Episiarch

          “Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way…turn.”

          1. Restoras

            That’s what I tell my kids…

        2. waffles

          If you’re dragging your skis out west then don’t buy anything less than 85mm at the waist. I think 85-90mm is the sweet spot for versatility. For sidecut, 16-18m is good. Any more and it won’t make sharp turns, any less and won’t be as stable at higher speeds. I’ve never been much of a gear guy though. My favorite ski are my 5 year old K2 Extremes. But I never get rid of skis, ever. Someday I’ll make a bench out of them.

    3. db

      I have neither of those, so can’t comment. I like my Nordica Igniter Ti Hotrods I got a few years ago, however. Good on ice. Where are you skiing?

  36. Warty

    For no reason at all, I am going to post an animated .gif of some butts. Riiiiiiiiight…now.

    1. Mad Scientist

      You don’t need a reason to bring this up. This and alcohol. Butts and alcohol and lobster girl. Butts and alcohol and lobster girl and this ashtray.

      1. Episiarch

        You forgot the thermos. And butts.

    2. 2ndClassProle

      Is it bad that I have been starring at this for ten minutes?

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Any avid skiers among the commentariat? Thinking of buying Blizzard Magnum 8.1 in 165cm or Volkl RTM 81s.

    I ski on a pair of 210cm Dynamic VR27 GS skis from the early 90’s. Excellent for fast cruising on the groomers, not so hot for bumps or powder.

    hth

    1. Restoras

      Well I had a pair of Dynastar MV5’s in 190cm that were my favorite all time but they and the ski rack they were on fell off my friends car on I91 in front of the Colt factory in Hartford…

    2. Bobarian

      I’ve got a pair of OLD 210cm Blizzard Firebirds that are usually about the fastest skis on the mountain.

      They’re a lot of work to turn, and suck on bumps too, but man, they are fast.

  38. Cdr Lytton

    1) To the surprise of no one here, LEED standards are a sham.

    2) Krugabe is leaving Princeton for CUNY. Maybe they have lower standards of academic honesty at CUNY?

    Also, fried chicken. 8%. And a package of Rollo.

  39. Coeus

    How to make a Social Justice Warrior

    The recipe for making a Social Justice Warrior:

    1. Call attention to an injustice.

    2. Blame the injustice on a group the injustice appears to favor.

    From Douglas Preston’s “Amanda Knox: She was acquitted of the Meredith Kercher murder. Why do people still hate her so much?”: “Experiments show that when some people punish others, the reward part of their brain lights up like a Christmas tree. It turns out we humans avidly engage in something anthropologists call “altruistic punishment.” What is altruistic punishment? It is when a person punishes someone who has done nothing against them personally but has violated what they perceive to be the norms of society. Why “altruistic”? Because the punisher is doing something that benefits society at large, with no immediate personal gain. Altruistic punishment is normally a good thing. Our entire criminal justice system is based on it?.”

  40. waffles

    I miss pancakes.

    1. waffles

      and phalkor.

  41. Coeus

    Women’s Carnival Day encourages women to assert their power through customs like snipping men’s ties

    Wonder if they managed to get that “sit to piss” law in place yet?

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