A.M. Links: Obamacare May Have Malware, Internet Companies Want More Government Surveillance Reform, Hamid Karzai May Be Talking With Taliban

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  • what if the site is the malware? :-o
    healthcare.gov

    US intelligence agencies warn that the Obamacare website could contain malware, after finding that developers with links to the Belarusian government worked on the site. The White House insisted, meanwhile, that 22,000 botched Obamacare enrollments actually represented a "very small percentage" of the total number of people enrolled on the website.

  • Internet companies are pushing the federal government to make more substantive reforms to NSA surveillance after being permitted to reveal how many FISA court requests they get a year.
  • Training materials obtained via FOIA request describe how the DEA creates a parallel chain of evidence to conceal its surveillance program.
  • A state trooper on New Jersey Governor Chris Christie's security detail was arrested for allegedly shoplifting gun accessories from a sporting goods store in Pennsylvania.
  • Developers of a sketching app called "Paper" are upset Facebook is using the same totally generic but totally apt name for its new reader app.
  • The Afghan president Hamid Karzai may be in "clandestine contact" with the Taliban.

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  1. Ring***Ring***

    The people got the vote
    I’m not going to sugarcoat
    Time to pick whose side you on
    Obamacare or the Republi-cylons
    the Choom Gang’s throwin’ up Krylon
    Relyin’ on counsel from Biden
    Let me be clear: I’m liable to go Michael, take your pick
    Jackson, Tyson, Jordan, Game 6
    Don’t let me get in my zone
    Don’t let me get in my zone
    Reducing ground-level ozone
    This has been a call from the Obamaphone

    -click-

    1. Hello.

      1. Is it me you’re looking for?

        1. These are not the sock puppets you are looking for.

        2. I can see it in your eyes…

        3. ‘Cause I wonder where you are. And I wonder whaaaaaaaaat you do. Are you somewhere feeling lonely? Or is Warty loving you?

        4. I had to play this song (over & over) in jazz band. My band director thought he was being really hip by including it in our repertoire.

          1. Between this and the Hello Kitty hand massager it’s a wonder you haven’t gone stark staring mad, you poor girl

            1. The similarities to A Clockwork Orange are striking.

          2. Snooze jazz was it?

          3. Our marching band theme song was an arrangement based on the Grateful Dead’s ‘Good Lovin’. Yes, the band director was a stoner, a jazz drummer, and our AP art teacher.

      2. Hello, it’s me.
        I’ve thought about us for a long, long time.
        Maybe I think too much but something’s wrong

        1. Pas pire.

      3. Hello, again, hello.
        I just called to say hello.

        1. Hello, I love you won’t you tell me your name?

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8f1z-nHvt3c

      4. Is there anybody in there?

        1. Nope, just a hollow echo.

      5. Hello. How are you?

        Have you been alright, through all those lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely nights?

    2. This isn’t a link or a comment on a link. I would prefer if you people would stop shitting in my breakfast links. You all know who I’m talking about.

      1. See without RULEZ it all goes to shit. Fucking libertarians with your fucking anarchistic crap.

      2. When the Obamaphone rings, you answer it.

        1. In Amerika, Obamaphone answers you!

  2. The 25 Most Disturbing Sex Toys
    …See, sex toys don’t have to be all about you. They can just as easily be used to give pleasure to another, like, say, your best friend. This may or may not be stuck at the concept phase, but face it, it’s probably the coolest looking dog toy you’ve ever seen….

    …”OhMiBod is not endorsed by Apple Computer Inc.”…

    …Because driving alone can often leave a man horribly aroused yet unfulfilled, the Auto Suck was designed to plug into any car cigarette lighter. We figure this invention is a good thing because there’s probably tons of school buses out there full of kids who’ve never once driven past a man humping what amounts to a vacuum attachment in his car. How else will they learn about the world?…

    …Also, safe sex is important and if you have a habit of releasing tear gas during love making then this is right up your alley, so to speak….

      1. Cyborg vaginas

        Cum with me if you want to live.

        1. I don’t know if I should applaud or boo…. eh, I’ll go with *applause*

    1. There are only two kinds of people on the masterbation battlefield, the quick and the dead.
      War-themed BYU video implores students to rat out masturbating roommates [VIDEO]

      1. I died. I died every night. So many damn times. *1,000 yard stare*

      2. According to this video, not stopping someone from masturbating is equivalent to letting someone die on a battlefield. Ok got it.

        SugarFree, hang in there, I’M COMING TO SAVE YOU!

        1. Save yourself. It’s too late for me…

      3. “It’s still pretty hairy out there, sir.”

      4. What is this? 1910?

    2. “It’s that Electrolux all over again!”

    3. Repeat after me,

      This is why there are no libertarian women…

      1. We can build our own out of latex.

      2. This is why there are no libertarian women…

        The post vaginal technological revolution?

    4. This seems like an article I should probably read after work.

  3. US intelligence agencies warn that the Obamacare website could contain malware…

    HHS needs to keep their Malwarebytes updated!

    1. I thought the site itself was malware.

    2. Ring***Ring***

      My administration is working to create the best, most secure website possible. There will be setbacks and false starts, but we will not rest in our quest to bring the American people the best.

      -click-

      1. They may not rest, but they sure cannot execute.

  4. Hamid Karzai would be in contqct with them.if he values his.life.once.we leqve.

    1. He fled to London before – he probably wants the running start, if he cannot negotiate surrender terms.

    1. Stop it. I am laughing out loud at my cube and everyone wants to know what is so funny.

    2. Still not as disturbing as their new line of Hello Warty merchandise.

      1. Thanks for that – I may never sleep again.

      2. Ha! Now I know you’re lying – a Warty saying “Hello” would be giving a warning, and no true Warty warns its prey.

    3. There used to be a tiny Hello Kitty hand massager that could have been marketed as My First Vibrator

      1. I saw this as well.

    4. Cute! And don’t tell me what makes me cringe!

    5. *** wipes tears ***

      What a great site. Thanks!

  5. Internet companies are pushing the federal government to make more substantive reforms to NSA surveillance…

    If it makes them feel any better, those promised unsubstantive reforms weren’t going to happen anyway.

    1. I’m guessing their tips get larger when they show up at the doorstep with a gun.

      1. Pizza man: “Er.”
        Customer: “Yes?”

        “That’s a 10% tip.”

        “Yeah and?”

        Lifts Domino’s k-way. Points to gun.

        “Right. 15% right?”

        “Make it 25%. Gotta take my kids to the movie. That shit ain’t cheap.”

        “Here’s 30%. Enjoy!”

    2. It’s probably a good idea after all those Super Bowl deliveries they had to do.

    3. One too many deliveries to Stabitha on 123 Fake Street?

  6. CT Scans Save Live

    Someone linked to this article on the weekend. It seems the cited paper in the article is just the scare mongering junk I figured it to be:

    We are writing to express our concerns with a January 30, 2014 article by Rita F. Redberg and Rebecca Smith-Bindman. The article is alarmingly titled, “We Are Giving Ourselves Cancer”…

    […]

    1. The studies lacked proper controls. They should have included children who did not receive CT exams, but who had the same medical conditions as the children who did receive CT scans…

    2. The studies used questionable models to estimate risks. Risk estimates were based on the linear, no-threshold model of radiation risk ? a controversial model used for conservatively setting radiation protection standards, but which is inappropriate for estimating excess cancers from CT scanning.

    3.The studies used questionable methods to estimate radiation dose received by patients. Radiation doses were not directly measured. Rather, age-based estimates were used that assumed, for example, that a newborn infant is the same size as a 4-year old child. As any parent knows, this is simply not true, and this could lead to large errors in dose estimates.

    1. “linear, no-threshold model”

      The favorite of bureaucrats everywhere.

    2. The case is overstated, but it’s still something to consider when our national healthcare policy is going to be steering people en masse toward CT and away from MR for supposed cost savings reasons.

      1. If this:

        our national healthcare policy is going to be steering people en masse toward CT and away from MR

        existed prior to the study – then I would go further and say the study is likely completely wrong and the authors knew it prior to publication as they would’ve used better numbers if they could have.

        This assumes a movement towards CT was already moving prior to the study – but a crappy study done by bureaucrats proving what they are already doing is a great idea reeks of “initial look at data proved our ideas unlikely correct, so we ‘fixed the data’ and quickly put out a study proving our way best; knowing that first study out usually wins.”

  7. Embattled IRS plans employee bonuses for 2013 work to ‘boost morale’
    Citing the need to boost employee morale, the Internal Revenue Service’s new commissioner said Monday that he will pay out millions of dollars in bonuses to agency employees, reversing a decision his predecessor made to save money amid the sequester budget cuts and other belt-tightening last year.

    The agency remains under fire for targeting tea party groups, but Commissioner John Koskinen said the bonuses are needed to retain and attract good employees in a time of cutbacks.

    “This is money best spent on our existing employees,” he said in an email to agency employees. “The performance award payouts are in recognition of that great work done in very trying circumstances. I firmly believe that this investment in our employees will directly benefit taxpayers and the tax system.”

    The move didn’t sit well with congressional critics who have been stupefied by the agency’s targeting of tea party groups and, more recently, proposed rules to crack down on an even broader class of political activities by tax-exempt groups….

    1. Commissioner John Koskinen also stated that the highest bonuses would be paid to those who audited the most, quote, “ratfucking Teabaggers”.

    2. the bonuses are needed to retain and attract good employees in a time of cutbacks.

      Seems a bit backwards. Wouldn’t there be more qualified potential employees in a time of cutbacks?

      1. Come on Man, just think of all the private sector tax startups out there that need that IRS experience. This is the golden age with all the millions of jobs Obama has created.

        Those IRS folks are just abandoning their public service role to jump into the private sector.

        1. I’d assume the IRS is competing with private employers for finance and accounting talent. I’d also assume they probably get the bottom of the barrel, although I met a women once who described her time as an IRS auditor as the best job she ever had.

    3. “The performance award payouts are in recognition of that great work done in very trying circumstances.

      I expected that to read “very taxing”. Boo for avoiding the inadvertant puns mister tax commissioner!

    4. Any manager worth anything will tell you that money will not fix morale problems over the long term.

      It is nothing more than a temporary and weak bandaid.

      First – the caveat; if company X truly is paying less than they should for position Y, then raises and/or incentive programs may be part of an overall plan to fix that company.

      However – studies show, consistently over time, that money is not the top ten reasons employees leave for other employment opportunities. It’s things such as “don’t feel valued” “don’t feel opinion matters” “don’t feel my job matters to the success of the company” “management doesn’t listen”, etc, etc, etc.

      Again – caveat – if for some reason you have a personal situation in which you honestly need to make more money soon – then you will may well leave a company for money and money alone.

      Additionally studies show that using money specifically for morale issues has a very short term positive effect, but it drops off quickly and the only way to produce a similar affect is to increase the monetary incentives.

      Meaning – if you gave everyone in your business (assuming anyone could) an across the board 20% raise for morale purposes – you would see a definite and quick surge in productivity, employee engagement, etc.

      That typically dies off within 6 months to a year and the only way to keep those gains to to repeat the process, but with more money (as doing the “same” as late time won’t help).

      Example #6,231,429 that this WH is incompetent.

  8. Pro-Common Core panelist: ‘The children belong to all of us’
    …Reville, a Harvard professor who served as secretary of education under current Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick, then bashed federalism and suggested that children are communal property.

    “Again, the argument about where it came from I think privileges certain sort of fringe voices about federalism and states’ rights, and things of that nature,” he told CNSNews.

    “Why should some towns and cities and states have no standards or low standards and others have extremely high standards when the children belong to all of us?”…

    1. So does this mean I can go over to Reville’s house and give “our” children a case of Jolt Cola and a drum set?

      1. an espresso and a flatulent puppy?

    2. a Harvard professor who served as secretary of education

      I’m starting to think that Harvard is the source point for most of the anti-freedom thinking in the US.

      1. Oh, I’m sure you’ll find the same at most universities. People just pay more attention to the Harvard ones.

    3. They always come for your kids. It never fails. There has never been a single totalitarian regime that hasn’t asserted its rights over people’s children.

      1. They really aren’t ‘your’ children per se, John. How else do you expect governments to build great societies? To make – progress! – away from all that messy freedom? No, children are the a reource for the state to remake society. Just ask Mao, Adolf and Josef.

        1. It takes a village you know. They stopped even trying to hide the newspeak about 20 years ago.

          1. Who said:

            “The purpose of a university should be to make a son as unlike his father as possible.”

            1. Sounds like Woodrow Wilson or some other 2nd gen progressive.

      2. They need to be assured that the next generation is thoroughly propagandised to believe that TOP.MEN. are looking out for them with their best intentions in mind.

    4. This is frightening enough but I am shocked this douche didn’t invoke soemthing about fairness and equality (of outcomes).

  9. Developers of a sketching app called “Paper” are upset Facebook is using the same totally generic but totally apt name for its new reader app.

    This is worse than when Samsung stole Apple’s idea for a rectangular smart phone.

    1. I’m waiting for the kideny shaped smart phone under the ‘ergonomic’ label.

  10. Canada is the best. Neknominate…NOW!

    http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/…..96?cmp=rss

    This is for Smilin’ Joe next time a Canadian says Americans are dumb. Of course, they’ll respond that these morons are in the minority because everyone knows every Canadian reads Chaucer, Petrarch and Goethe!

    1. Haha my girlfriend was just telling me about this on the weekend but never looked into it. Wow.

      1. Chugging an entire fifth? I would think that’s lethal. I know plenty of people who have consumed a fifth faster than they should have, but not that fast. Holy shit.

        1. As long as you puke it out before absorbing all of it you can do it without killing yourself. I would say its still a dumb idea and a waste of liquor but 20 year old kids can be fucking dumb.

          1. I forgot about the vomiting factor – that’s likely a life-saver in most cases.

            1. There’s a reason it’s the body’s standard defense against poison and foodborne illnesses 🙂

          2. You will vomit, and, if you’re really lucky, before you’ve absorbed enough to pass out on your back do your Jimi Hendrix/Janis Joplin impression.

    2. One of the RSS podcasts I subscribe to had a neknominate story yesterday, from Ireland.

      I couldn’t be bothered to download a moral panic story, so this is the story, I think.

  11. Labor union officials say Obama betrayed them in health-care rollout
    Labor leaders who have spent months lobbying unsuccessfully for special protections under the Affordable Care Act warned this week that the White House’s continued refusal to help is dampening union support for Democratic candidates in this year’s midterm elections.

    Leaders of two major unions, including the first to endorse Obama in 2008, said they have been betrayed by an administration that wooed their support for the 2009 legislation with promises to later address the peculiar needs of union-negotiated insurance plans that cover millions of workers….

    1. dampening union support for Democratic candidates

      I’m sure they will be voting Republican in 2014.

      1. They might not bring in quite so many extra boxes of ballots this year.

        1. “This year we’ve decided that we won’t be voting early or often. The electoral returns will be lower than the actual population for the next electoral cycle”.

      2. But they could stay home or vote for the Green Party candidate.

        1. True. Though I always get the sense the unions bark is bigger than their bite…they seem like they are really just obedient lap dogs.

          1. I would love to see Obama make a public gaffe by expressing that very fact.

    2. the peculiar needs of union-negotiated insurance plans

      Uh huh.

  12. Want to Be C.E.O.? No Flex Time For You?
    …Unfortunately, some activist groups cling to the wage gap, insisting that women earn less than men even after controlling for the relevant variables. For example, the AAUW’s “Graduating to a Pay Gap” report classifies “social science” as one college major and reports that, among such majors, women earn only 83 percent of what men earn. Horrifying?until you notice that “social science” includes both “economics” and “sociology.” Economics majors (66 percent male) have a median income of $70,000; for sociology majors (68 percent female) it is $45,000. …

    1. I’m sure the feminazis are ready to “BURN THE WITCH!”

    2. Woman: I want pay equity!
      Man: You make more than me and I’m the boss!
      Woman: Na-ah. Not anymore you ain’ts! I want my money. Where’s my money. Because pussy.
      Man: I can’t give you more. Why do you want more?
      Woman: I give birth and cook. I want compenization for work I do outside these cubicles because vagina.
      Man: I can’t do it.
      Woman: Your dick is mine.
      Man: Whaddya doin’?
      Woman: Calling my local Womyns For Equal Pay Shit chapter…your ass is minezzzz…

      1. Good thing there are no women libertarians to see this.

        1. Well, nikki is getting hitched so she’ll be all “FOR THE CHILDRENZ!” soon enough.

          1. Maybe I’ll be all “for the menfolks!”

            1. Does he read HnR? Is that why you’re trying to act like you won’t immediately stop doing everything?

              1. He’s too busy making me bacon and eggs to be reading H&R.

                1. That’s more like what I expected. Also, I note you didn’t say anything about caviar with those eggs or polishing your monocle. Your transformation away from libertarianism has already begun.

            2. Maybe I’ll be all “for the menfolks!”

              Go on…

      2. I can barely understand that through the thick Canadian dialect. In America we rarely speak about our genitalia in an office environment.

        1. Yeahs wells, it’s Canada. Wes talks likes thats alls thes times. As longs as yous says pleases and thank yous.

          We also talk in plural.

      3. Because pussy

        Good band name

    3. It’s scandalous that anyone would give a sociology major $45,000 for a year’s labor.

      1. It’s scandalous that anyone would give a sociology major $45,000 for a year’s labor.

        Well, some wait staff make good tips at the nicer restaurants.

        1. Not trying to joke, but I know a girl who made $55k one year as a cocktail waitress in NYC.

          1. but now she’s on the internet she’s making $8742 a month, right?

            1. No, but being NYC, living cost her $70K that year.

            2. No, she moved back to Vermont and became a bank teller. Last I knew she was making about 20k.

              That was a weird almost-relationship.

    1. A cop harassing a wealthy industrialist isn’t anarchy, it’s the system we have now.

  13. Yet we’re #1 as the most ‘reputable’ nation.

    http://www.forbes.com/sites/su…..ries-2013/

    How’s this for a figure. 8 million people watched the Super Bowl in Canada on TSN (ESPN jr.). That’s almost 25% of the country.

    As you were.

    1. What’s most notable is how far down the U.S. ranks: 22nd place, behind Brazil and just above Peru. Several European countries that continue to battle severe economic turmoil ranked above the U.S. again this year including Italy in 16th place, France in 17th, Spain in 18th and Portugal in 19th place.

      1. Austria number 10?

        Obviously BS.

        1. Throw another shrimp on the barbie.

          1. I used this comment on another site and a commenter (quite seriously and emphatically) had me know that I was thinking of Australia, not Austria…

          2. Those Alps Shrimp are huge.

            1. “There’s a lot of — I don’t know what the term is in Austrian — wheeling and dealing”

    2. In terms of technological advancement it’s in third place after Japan and Germany.

      Apparently stopping the splitting of atoms and going back to combustion gets you to number 1 in technological advancements.

      1. Just wait until both Japan and Germany go back to renewable burning of wood and whale oil.

        1. Germany should be getting killed in the tech category for all of the windmills/solar farms they have built, and the coal plants they are building to replace to upcoming nuke shutdowns. In a sane world anyway.

    3. Only 25%? You can do better Canada. Will it help if we replace one beer ad with a maple syrup ad?

      1. NEEDZ MOR STICKZ AND PUCKZ

      2. What beer ads? All I saw were ads for some sort of canned water called budweiser.

      3. Not if reruns of ‘The Littlest Hobo’ is on.

        Then the SB has no hope.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyd506B8b-E

        /wipes tear.

        1. 40 second mark. I’m sure he’s breaking all sorts of gun laws there.

      4. Will it help if we replace one beer ad with a maple syrup ad?

        Actually, their problem is that they don’t see the good commercials. They just have sad, normal, everyday Canadian commercials instead.

        1. We didn’t see the good commercials this year either.

        2. Are they like the few we have that advertize cancer of the boobs set to lesbian folk music? That’s a harsh way to live, Great Northerners.

  14. A state trooper on New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s security detail was arrested for allegedly shoplifting gun accessories from a sporting goods store in Pennsylvania.

    You mean that that hero may not make it home safely?

    1. I am sure he was released on a signature/recognizance bond.

  15. With Jim Crow, black America lived under an onerous, top-down system that told them where their children could and could not go to school. Now, with busing, black America lived under ? an onerous, top-down system that told them where their children could and could not go to school.

    Slate messes with its readers minds

    1. An otherwise good article that was nearly ruined by bitching about evil rethugicans.

      1. That is just the proggie equivalent of a worshipper ending a petition with “Lord hear our prayer”. Pure formulaic tripe.

        1. The overall theme of the article was “conservatives are evil, but that doesn’t make liberals right”. It’s a start I suppose.

          1. 1000 mile journey, single step, etc.

    2. Yeah but the people responsible for the current system have good intentions, so it’s completely different. Never mind that the people responsible for Jim Crow probably thought they were doing good too.

    3. Or is it also possible that the party charged with taking black Americans to the Promised Land has been running around in circles?

      Wow, I don’t even…

      1. Holy shit, the next sentence is worse:

        The left has been ceded a monopoly on caring about black people, and monopolies are dangerous.

    4. Black parents are the biggest opponents of every one of the Louisville busing plans.

      The Supremes have twice (or maybe three times?) thrown out the Louisville plan.

      And they keep coming up with new ones.

      The black parents want their kids to go to the neighborhood schools, even if it means they arent racially balanced.

      39 years of failure, so far. Busing started in Louisville in 1975 (I know this, because I started 1st grade in 1975).

      1. And I graduated in 1975. Looking at the gray hair in the mirror every morning isn’t bad enough. I need to have you younger whipper-snappers rubbing it in my face every day 😉

        1. Rob aint young.

      2. It’s racist to bus in the hopes that the white students will raise up the black students. The black students really just need good parents and teachers to raise themselves up, not other students that won’t end up being in their classes after an hour plus bus ride anyway.

      3. The black parents want their kids to go to the neighborhood schools, even if it means they arent racially balanced.

        This is the something that the left has trouble grasping. You can have a prevalence of community, or you can have a prevalence of diversity, but you can’t have both at the same time. Hell, I saw it at my own high school, which was about 30/30/25/15 white/black/hispanic/asian–people tended to associate with their own race unless they were on the football or basketball teams, and even then there wasn’t a great deal of self-integration outside of practices.

        Flowery speeches about integration aside, people will always tend to settle where they are most comfortable, and trying to ram square pegs into round holes will typically exacerbate, not solve, the existing problems. You break down people’s sense of community AND make them more resentful towards the very people you’re trying to integrate them with, because those interactions are forced against their will.

        Popular culture–which, for all its pretensions about progressive ideologies, is a thoroughly capitalist institution–has done more than any government bureaucrat to change the nation’s attitudes about race. That’s the real irony of the era of busing.

    5. I’m actually shocked that any liberal would dare discuss the Kansas City Schools experiment, that infamous “cost doesn’t matter” piece of social engineering ath failed spectacularly.

  16. US intelligence agencies warn that the Obamacare website could contain malware

    And it was created because of the legislative equivalent of shovelware.

  17. Strictly of interest for football fans. I found this entry in Wiki on Johnny Bright interesting is all.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Bright

    1. Wow – thanks for posting, I am enlightened. A TD pass with a broken jaw after 3 knockouts. Jesus.

    2. Wow, it’s hard for me to even imagine a player choosing the CFL over the NFL. The league (and country) has come a long way.

      1. Back then it was not unheard of. In fact, the CFL and NFL used to play each other in friendlies. I believe the NFL won 5 of 6.

    3. This has to be a hoax. From the Wikipedia page:

      Bright died of a massive heart attack on December 14, 1983, at the University of Alberta Hospital in Edmonton, while undergoing elective surgery to correct a knee injury suffered during his football career.

      Everybody knows you can’t get elective surgery in Canada!

      1. The Canada Health Care Act was passed in 1984.

        Also not that they killed him while working on his knee… so maybe “improved” standards weren’t the worst idea.

        1. Yes, but universal care arrived in the 40s in Saskatchewan and by the late 50s early 60s the country was blanketed with universal care. The Canada Health Act was just the latest piece of legislation in a long evolution of near universal care. Complicated but we had it before 1984.

    1. A Lannister always pays his debts.

  18. A state trooper on New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s security detail was arrested for allegedly shoplifting gun accessories from a sporting goods store in Pennsylvania.

    If only Congress had given New Jersey the funds they needed in a timely manner.

  19. Developers of a sketching app called “Paper” are upset Facebook is using the same totally generic but totally apt name for its new reader app.

    The Winklevoss twins are shocked, shocked this is happening.

  20. Q: How do you fix inequality?

    A: You bully Trader Joe’s into not building a new store in your poor neighborhood.

    1. It’s the wrong kind of oasis for that food desert.

    2. If they run out Wall Mart, Trader Joes, big grocery stores and Whole Foods, just where are people in poor neighborhoods supposed to buy their food? 7 Eleven?

      1. It’s the only way we can then bitch about how they only have Cheetos and Mt. Dew to stay alive.

        1. Or force them to work in the community gardens.

          1. Holodomar for the win.

      2. Every crappy bodega I ever walked into in NYC had bananas, apples, oranges, eggs, cheese, lunch meat, milk, and bread. Maybe not the best quality and maybe not much of it, but it was there.

        People eat Cheetos and Mountain Dew because that’s what they prefer.

        1. No! That’s not why! We need governemtn run food stores! How else will everyone get their Soylent products??

        2. Most every obese American I know, ie much of my extended family, eats supposedly healthy low-fat diet, would never dream of eating at McDs. Cause it’s unhealthy of course.

          But it’s driving the obesity epidemic!!!

          1. I know more than a few fat vegetarians.

            1. The only vegetarian I know looks pale and sickly, and is disgustingly skinny. Maybe Sarcasmic would be interested.

            2. I also know a fat one.

              In college, he was skinny (as was I), but he ballooned afterword, which corresponded with him becoming a vegetarian.

              Or when he discovered he loved beer.

            3. The vegans I know are all stick thin.

              They are also all ridiculously weak.

          2. You know, a McD’s value meal is actually almost exactly the ratio of carb/protein/fat encouraged by the USDA.

            1. Skip the soft drink and it’s a pretty decent meal.

          3. But it’s driving the obesity epidemic!!!

            I have an obese acquaintance who is also a vegan. Her diet is so carb and sugar high I’m amazed she’s not diabetic.

            But eggs and butter are EVIL. MMMMMkay.

            1. Chickens are going to poop out those eggs whether you eat them or not. Just saying.

              1. Your attempted justification of eating animal excretions disgusts me! Where are tofurkey burgers?

      3. They are supposed to buy them from local mom and pop stores run by third generation neighborhood…ites?

        1. But those are often run by Koreans and Jews who are there to leach off the community.

          1. You’re right. We better make it 5th generation.

          2. Thank you for contribution, Marion Barry

    3. I guess they couldn’t figure out which community activist organization they needed to pay off to keep the project moving.

    4. “It was never just about Trader Joe’s. It has always been about finding out what the community wants,” said PAALF member Steven Gilliam.

      No need to find out *when* the community wants it, however.

      They want it NOW!!

    5. What? What? Trader Joe’s? Home of cheap decent stuff?

      We’ve been begging for one down here, and we’re finally getting one. And these people want to turn them away.

      1. I’m not sure the people want to turn it away, just the boneheaded community organizers who see an opportunity to get a corporation to stroke their pet projects.

        1. Well, maybe people shouldn’t let idiotic community organizers represent them.

          Hey, wait a minute. . . .

        2. Yeah. Once they get theirs, its all good.

      2. When did Trader Joe’s become cheap? We have one here near Albany and everything in there is expensive compared to the grocery store/Target equivalent.

        1. Depends what you get. Some stuff is pricey, but they have a good number of private label brands that are very good deals. Famously, wine, but also things like nuts.

        2. Hell, even I know about Two Buck Chuck, and I live in Europe.

          1. ALL HAIL CHARLES SHAW AND HIS $2.99 SHIRAZ!

    6. Trader Joe’s is for white people, obviously. What a bunch of stupid assholes.

  21. US intelligence agencies warn that the Obamacare website could contain malware, after finding that developers with links to the Belarusian government worked on the site.

    This made my day. That’s just awesome.

    1. They contracted with a bunch of developers from Belorussia. It is not wonder SNL never makes fun of this administration, they are beyond parody.

      1. So those “my name Peggy” memes are true?

        1. Apparently so.

        2. “No Peggy. My name Kathleen!”

  22. A state trooper on New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s security detail was arrested for allegedly shoplifting gun accessories from a sporting goods store in Pennsylvania.

    I hope he uses a national security defense.

    1. Reports say he used the professional courtesy defense, to no avail (as of yet).

  23. The Afghan president Hamid Karzai may be in “clandestine contact” with the Taliban.

    It’s as if he doesn’t trust Obama to have his best interests at heart…

    1. Sure he is. He knows Obama is going to sell him out. He also knows that the Taliban have said that before they took power to restore order. This time they are going to take power for revenge and are going to kill everyone associated with the old regime down to the people in Kabul who swept the streets. Karzai is just trying to save his ass.

      1. Obama will watch Karzai getting lynched from a live feed on a CIA drone and do nothing. Karzai knows this.

        1. Unlike the fall of Saigon, Obama won’t even send helicopters.

          1. Unlike the fall of Saigon, Obama won’t even send helicopters.

            In Obama’s defense, by the time he reads about it in the newspapers, it will be too late.

          2. One of the coolest stories about the evacuation of Saigon:

            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C…..le_flights

            How many commanders do we have today who woukd make the same decision as the Captain of Midway?

        2. No he won’t Tim.

          1. Ambassador Stevens found that out.

    1. Not to saying nothing, but they reap what they sow. I don’t get these companies that give money to a party anti-business these days. They give and then scream, “whaaaa?”

      Next time stop buying into progderp and voting against your own interests.

      I’m a business owner and would never, ever vote for the left side of the spectrum. Ever. Because I know when push comes to shove they will go all ‘for the children’ on me.

      1. The big distributor is lobbying in favor of this to drive out the little guy.

        1. Unpossible!

    2. They just want to make sure that evil store owners aren’t selling you underaged wine.

      1. YOU WILL SELL NO WINE BEFORE ITS TIME!

        1. If it isn’t vinegar yet, the wine is too young.

  24. Someone at USA Today is retarded. Concerning the brouhaha between the productive and non-productive in San Francisco:

    That includes tech executives and their companies, who are richly benefitting from the city’s infrastructure and talent yet not contributing to the community in a meaningful way.

    Unless you count the fact that the employees of these tech companies have turned a formerly rundown neighborhood full of squatters and “artists” in to a thriving community. The author even demonstrates exactly how they’ve “contributed to the community” in his opening sentence, “The city’s South of Market neighborhood has never been more vibrant, teeming with tech start-ups, bustling bars and entrepreneurial energy.” And I’m sure that San Franciscans everywhere are enjoying the chunks of paycheck the city takes every year from these non-contributors.

    (cont)

    1. But he couldn’t limit the article to just his stupidity. He included others’ as well:

      There are exceptions [to those eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevul executives who “don’t contribute” — such as Salesforce.com CEO Marc Benioff — but for the most part, the tech community lacks “social responsibility,” Wadhwa says.

      “Its moguls should be providing scholarships for the disadvantaged,” he says. “Tech companies should be sponsoring cheap housing and shelters. They should be feeding the poor. They should be going out of their way to train minorities. VC firms should be recruiting interns and associates from black and Latino colleges.”

      Because making a vibrant neighborhood full of new businesses where there are now jobs while before there weren’t isn’t responsible. They should be pissing away that money on things I think are important!!

      1. I’d like a rundown of how much time and money the author spends doing those things. Not telling other people they should do those things–actually doing those things.

      2. They are feeding the poor. The problem is that they are doing this by giving them high paying jobs which they can use to buy their own food, which means they aren’t poor.

        Also: “black and Latino colleges” is the most racist thing I have heard in a while.

      3. Hmmm, you know what other San Francisco-based activist group thought that wealthy CEO’s should be forced to feed the poor?

        1. The Golden Gate Chapter of the Little Octobrists?

          1. Good one, but I’m thinking of an actual historical group from the late twentieth century.

        2. The United Federation of Planets?

        3. Bzzzt. Symbionese Liberation Army, the Marxist terrorists that captured heiress Patricia Hearst in 1974. Part of the ransom demands were that her father distribute free food to the poor.

          1. That is one of my earliest memories – seeing the news footage of the food distribution turning into boxes being flung off the back of trucks as a crush of people surged forward.

        4. The People’s Temple?

      4. “Its moguls should be providing scholarships for the disadvantaged,” he says. “Tech companies should be sponsoring cheap housing and shelters. They should be feeding the poor. They should be going out of their way to train minorities. VC firms should be recruiting interns and associates from black and Latino colleges.”

        Um…why?

        Alternate response: Says you.

        1. Because of the feelz. Obviously. Also, are there any HBCUs in California, or any HLCUs at all? If not, what the fuck does it mean to recruit from black and latino colleges? Compton Polytech? Imperial Valley A&M?

        2. Not just why – but how about – they already paid.

          In the billions of tax dollars to city, county, state, and federal governments when getting paid “high paying job” wages and having businesses make good profit.

          Not to mention – most, likely all but I’m not going to try to prove it, tech companies have scholarships based upon merit only, some specifically for disadvantaged, as well as many participating in science fairs and such where prizes are scholarship money.

          Lastly – most of these companies encourage charitable work and contributions to those organizations the company already supports (as well as matching funds donations for employee supported charities) – so these companies, through company branding/sense of community, are also likely incentivizing additional monies to these types of charities.

          Not that they have to do any of this – but they likely are doing it right now.

          On top of the tax dollars.

          But this is what CA gets – the progs keep singing “profit and rich people are evil” – this is just an extension of that.

          No matter how much they do to help others, voluntarily or involuntarily, so long as these “rich” display their wealth in such a way as to show any inequality between them and the poor, they will never be doing enough.

          It’s the left’s religion – though with biblical underpinnings – rich man::heaven camel::eye of a needle.

      5. Oh, I loved this:

        “We have a group which is mostly young and has not learned social norms or responsibility gaining wealth and power,” says Vivek Wadhwa, a Fellow at Stanford Law School. “This group has its own value system and lives in its own bubble. It is displacing the larger population of San Francisco.”

        I wonder if the same thing was said about all the hippie migrants to SF 45 years ago.

        1. Talk about someone with his own value system and living in a bubble… (Vivek Wadhwa, just to be clear)

    2. Making an honest living and living a law abiding life just isn’t contributing to the community. You have duties to the people and the hive at large you know.

      1. And pay a tithe to, as Fluffy calls them, “otherwise unemployable leftist trash”, who do stupid sustainability projects or whatever.

    3. “Lewis Ames, who is in his late 60s, has lived in the Castro district for more than 10 years. “We’re in a (city) that is in a streak of unbelievable success,” says Ames, who is an urban transit planner. “However, the (rank-and-file) tech crowd here is not largely high income.”

      Castro?

      As in Fidel?

      They named a district after him?

      Please let there be another Castro I’m not aware of. Maybe a Max Castro who was some sort of super genius cereal producer. Anything.

      1. Chill, it’s another Castro

        1. Phew.

          /sits down. Wipes sweat from forehead.

  25. I didn’t know until last night that the “Keep Our Kids Safe” arm of the Brady Campaign has a Facebook page. I would encourage anyone needing a good laugh to check it out. It contains thoughtful cometary like “Keep your racist, ethnic cleansing murder machines out of America.” If the people on this board got together and tried to create a fake Brady Campaign Facebook page for the single purpose of being Mobys and make the Brady campaign look as stupid as possible, we couldn’t even come close to the actual page.

    1. Someone should post this on there.

      1. SFed it, Zeb.

      2. I agree that people ought to post SugarFreed links there.

    2. “I am Dr. Henry Killinger and this…is my Magic Murder Bag.”

  26. This guy should write a book about being a submissive husband:

    My wife and I have a female-led relationship. Before we got married, I agreed that she could “take other lovers,” while I would remain faithful to her alone. She said that she might not ever see anyone else, but she liked that I knew she could. Well, now she’s pregnant, and I’m wondering the obvious.

    Prudie’s answer

    1. you skipped over the crazier story in that one: grandma poked holes in the condoms!

      1. It was great, but didn’t qualify because Prudie smelt a rat (admittedly because she doesn’t understand the mechanics of poking holes in condoms)

    2. Barack is that you?

    3. Nope, for those wondering, that is not from me

    4. I want to laugh, but it’s a little sad that there are such fucked up people out in the world.

      You can’t have it both ways fuckstick! Either you give her permission to sleep around and deal with the fact that you’re stuck raising some other dude’s spawn, or you lock it down and tell her to stop fucking around!

      There are consequences to your actions, and sometimes they’re not fun consequences. That’s called life! Fuck!

    5. He couldn’t just pay some dominatrix to slap him around in a dungeon for awhile?

    6. That is really sad. If he were just a pervert who derrived sexual pleasure from his wife doing other men, you could at least say “well it is what he gets off on, who am I to judge”. But he is not doing this to get off on her doing it. He is just too pathetic to stand up for himself. That is about as pathetic as one can get.

      And he better get a genetic test real quick or he is going to be paying for that kid his or not.

      1. He’ll probably pay regardless. child’s best interest in all.

      2. The genetic test doesn’t matter unless he uses it as a basis for divorce.

        In most state a married husband is the legal presumptive father and there are many cases where such men have been forced to pay child support for children that are not genetically theirs.

        1. Yes. That is why he needs to get the test and get divorced ASAP if it is not his.

    7. “female-led relationship”??? Is that because there’s more than one pussy in it?

  27. The Beckerhead claims the Coca-Cola Super Bowl ad contains a subliminal message designed to destroy American values and divide us in half:

    http://www.mediaite.com/tv/gle…..p-himself/

    There is no sigh heavy enough to relieve one of the frustration and angst this sentiment inspires in the listener. One wonders if Beck has ever seen a Coke ad before. If so, maybe he could share his thoughts with us on the 1971 classic featuring a multiracial cast of Americans singing, “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing.” Surely, a subversive masterpiece cooked up in the Kremlin with the unrealized design of igniting a long-delayed race war if I ever saw one.

    In May of this year, Beck regretted the fact that the much of the media has labeled him a “conspiracy theorist.” While the political press is often guilty of allowing a preferred narrative to shape and frame reporting, this is one case where the media has been correct to apply his indelible label.

    1. Does anyone but moron liberals hoping to be outraged even listen to Beck? You seem to listen to him obsessively. You are the only person I know who does.

      1. Yeah I know 0 people who listen to Beck.

        But rock on PB.

        1. Some hacker ought to change PB’s handle to “Hello Kitty Butt Plug”.

      2. This. I long ago presumed that Beck’s schtick was to make money off of the left wing.

      3. Enough people listen that he still has a job. It would be funny if it were all liberals looking to be outraged.

      4. You must miss all of the links posted on Reason to Glen Beck columns where we are all agreeing with him and following his logic.

        ….Or Shreek just can’t figure out that this is a libertarian website and not a repbulican website. Poor Shreek, poor us.

        1. I listen to Beck and Pigboy sometimes to see what right-wing lies will be circulated among their low-info audiences.

          Examples – Banks were forced to loan money to blacks and that caused the financial crash of 2008.

          Or alternately, Barney Frank and Chris Dodd caused it.

          There are dozens more.

          Sometimes they are just hilarious in their misunderstanding of things – like how Rush thought women took a birth control pill for each session of sex or how he said net neutrality was when search engines provided non-partisan results.

          The STUPID emanates from conservative radio.

          1. The STUPID emanates from conservative radio.

            The problem is you only think stupid emanates from conservative radio and will NEVER post a link to the order of magnitude more stupid emanating from any and every prog column and TV program. That is why everyone dismissed 99% of what you say.

            1. There is no lefty equivalent to Rush – either in audience size or influence among partisans.

              1. Yes there is. Its name is Brian Williams and Dianne Sawyer and Katie Couric and . . .

              2. There is no lefty equivalent to Rush- either in audience size or influence among partisans.

                Sure there is–he’s occupying the White House right now.

          2. And that’s why you run to TPM, or Mediaite, or MM, or any other blue balls sites to crib notes-because you are a “sometime” listener?

      5. I listen to Beck from time to time and I think that whole crew is hilarious. Usually conservative humor is a bummer, but the Beck folks are actually funny.

        1. That makes me wonder if half of the shit people like shreek are pissed about Beck having said is actually just various jokes that they didn’t understand and took literally.

          1. That’s like 99% of why liberals hate Rush, so it would make sense.

      6. I don’t, and I never encounter half the shit he digs up to bitch about. Stop reading shit that makes you mad, you’ll live longer.

      7. Its like how MSNBC’s entire viewership is conservative/libertarian pundits.

        1. I think you might be correct on that – it is an identifiable small and discrete number of people…

        2. Canadian cable/sat providers all carry MSNBC but not Fox Business. I would think about paying for a package that included FBN for Stossel and The Independents alone. I have even emailed my cable provider suggesting they add FBN to go along with CNBC. Nothing.

          1. Yeah, that pisses me off.

            Fucking piece of shit, unelected CRTC.

            Fuck them.

            1. I hate the CRTC and everything it stands for, but I have looked it up and I’m pretty sure it is allowed to be broadcast in Canada. The cable providers just don’t pick it up. I guess they figure it won’t sell enough to be worth it.

              Luckily I have this to get me through.

              1. I was told the CRTC blocked it. Will have to look into it.

                Our cable providers operate in a monopolistic environment – so fuck them too.

      8. I’m a loser baby so why don’t you kill me, Beck?

    2. If Beck is really concerned about something, he cries. Was the Coke ad a cryer or a dryer?

    3. Whatever. Call me when Justin Amash gets outraged about it.

  28. I have a lot of pretty conservative friends and read some of the conservative media. So when conservatives are actually pissed off about something in the culture war, I hear about it. But I have yet to hear a single actual person who is upset about the Coke commercial. Despite this every liberal friend I have is posting rants on Facebook about how dare the evil conservatives object to this.

    There seems to be an entire genus of “controversies” that involve liberals picking up on some comment made by someone somewhere and using it as an excuse to get outraged about how evil and racist anyone on the right is.

    1. If there’s a single person somewhere offended by something, John, then obviously all of our society should be controlled by even bigger assholes so they can fix that single person.

    2. This was brought up on the Independents last night. MSNBC and/or CNN will find a negative/racist/sexist tweet by someone with less than 50 followers and blow it up like this is how every conservative in ‘Merica feels.

      It’s almost like the media invents these controversies or something…

    3. I have a lot of pretty conservative friends and read some of the conservative media. So when conservatives are actually pissed off about something in the culture war, I hear about it. But I have yet to hear a single actual person who is upset about the Coke commercial.

      Same here, and I said the same thing to Lucy (REDACTED) on the Book of Face: the first I heard about the alleged “conservative outrage” was in the reaction to it. No one I know actually said anything about the Coke commercial – this whole thing is manufactured.

      1. the first I heard about the alleged “conservative outrage” was in the reaction to it.

        This is also the case for me. It’s still the case, in fact.

      2. Contrast this to the reaction to the Tim Tebow “My mom could have aborted me but didn’t” ad a few years ago. That was a legitimate controversy. I heard all kinds of people with opinions on it on both sides. All I have heard about this is a bunch of liberals bitching about “conservative outrage” whatever that is.

    4. It’s like how “racist” Boston is because 2 guys made a racist comment on Twitter after a black opponent scored a game winning hockey goal.

      1. Well, Boston is pretty racist.

        1. So is NY, bt NYers are just more subtle about it, at least in the environs around NYC.

        2. Pro Lib, I know that Boston was racist, and to you the 1970s seem like this morning, but for most (i.e. non immortal) people, that was 2 generations ago.

          1. I’ve been there much more recently than that, Grasshopper. But, as a Southerner, let me assure you that your denial means you are automatically twice as racist.

            1. Immortal mutants aren’t a race.

              1. Racism isn’t about your race, unless you’re an evil white person. It’s about the race of other people whom you oppress by merely existing, you racist Bostonian.

                Okay, does anyone remember the game, Bosconian?

                1. Is that something you played back in the caves?

                  1. It was an arcade game, with a space ship that destroyed space stations. Presciently envisioning the day when NASA will destroy all those private orbiting whoretels.

                    1. So you’re saying the space ship didn’t manage to do anything to the space stations? Was it stuck in an orbit too low?

                    2. No, no, this was before the force field was erected preventing humans from leaving LEO. It blew up space stations at will.

    5. You don’t live where I live. Where I live in Appalachia they are all up in arms. America is for Americans!

      Oh wait…I don’t actually live in Appalachia. But I’ve read about it. They’re all inbred racist rat-fuckers. So I’m pretty sure I’m right.

      In fact I’m positive I’m right.

      Oh man I love being right.

      1. So you watched Out of the Furnace too?

          1. Is that a good show? Looks alright.

            1. I enjoy it. Good dialog. Lots of sarcastic wit. And rednecks. Lots of rednecks.

              1. Routine violations of civil rights, federal agents getting away with murder, its very realistic.

      2. Appalachia is mostly unemployed meth addicts who vote blue.

        Source – I’m half Appalachian, that makes my position unassailable. If you disagree with me, you’re just racist or something.

    6. But I have yet to hear a single actual person who is upset about the Coke commercial.

      I have a couple of twitter handles, and in one feed, filled to the brim with conservatives (it’s my hunting feed) I’ve seen exactly one complaint.

      1. Not intending to give props to PB. That being said, there is butt hurt going on from people on conservative-leaning sites (as well as push-back).

        The issue isn’t racism (such a shitty word), it’s more the idea that of…maybe cultural “equivalence”. America has one overall Culture, and the commercial craps on that with people not speaking English/assimilating into that Culture.

        That, with the idea of it being a hymn, and probably a bit of American exceptionalism + American holiness (or something like that).

        Yeah, it’s out there, to a degree.

        1. That’s American exceptionalism=American holiness

  29. If the small arty company had released their “Paper” app years after Facebook, what do you think Zuck and Co. would be doing with them right now?

  30. “Its moguls should be providing scholarships for the disadvantaged,” he says. “Tech companies should be sponsoring cheap housing and shelters. They should be feeding the poor. They should be going out of their way to train minorities. VC firms should be recruiting interns and associates from black and Latino colleges.”

    This bozo has a serious case of the “Somebody oughttas”. Five hundred years ago, he would have been painting himself blue and sacrificing goats to some woodland god for rain.

    1. Shut up, the goat sacrifice thing does work

      1. Thank you. Plus, the meat is delicious.

  31. http://online.wsj.com/news/art…..TopOpinion

    James Toranto takes a shot at explaining why abortion rates are down. This is one of the rare times he misses the mark.

    Taranot misses that there is no longer any stigma against single motherhood in any but the strictest religious communities. Even 15 or 20 years ago this wasn’t true. Now, there just really isn’t. The soccer moms who support abortion out of the horror of the possibility of their snowflake getting knocked up are fewer and fewer. Most of them would just embrace their daughter getting knocked up as a lifestyle choice. A large number of women who got abortions got them out of fear of embarrassment or shame at having a child out of wedlock.

    This brings up an interesting conundrum for social conservatives. One of the favorite indoor outdoor sports of SOCONS is to bemoan the death of the nuclear family and the ending of public shame for having a child out of wedlock. It may be that this is the price we pay for lowering the abortion rate. If you really want to bring back shame for being a single mother, you better be prepared to see abortion rates go back up.

    1. My grandmother’s sister got knocked-up at a youngish age, she was quietly bustled off and gave up the kid for adoption. The man showed up many years later asking my Granny if he should/could contact his real mother and she flatly refused, so he didn’t. He was a tired middle-aged salesmen according to my parents who had dinner with him, a Willy Lomax character. Sad situation all around.

      1. That always scared me about adopting. You raise a kid only to have them go hunting for their birth parents brushing you aside.

        1. I think the most dangerous thing about adopting is getting someone extremely genetically compatible. My aunt and uncle adopted because they thought they were infertile. That daughter made their lives a living hell, whereas their two natural kids got along with them quite well.

          1. Yes. A lot of mental illness is genetic and sets in right around adolescence or shortly thereafter. There are few worse horrors in the world than having your teenage child show up with schizophrenia or bipolar or something.

            1. I also had a good friend, smart as a whip, who was adopted by well-meaning but rather dull, dogmatic, well, rednecks. Big mismatch there and led to a lot of problems also, problems that their natural children didn’t have. Interestingly, he majored in physics and later found out his real father also majored in physics though he ended up in real estate. Stuff like this disabused me of the blank slate hypothesis.

              1. I have a good friend from college who was adopted by a nice upper middle class couple. Her parents were both professionals of some sort, I forget what. She was one of the most phenomenal natural artists I have ever met. Turns out her birth parents were a couple of art students at a local university who put her up for adoption.

                The black slate theory is pretty counter to observation in my experience.

                1. The black slate theory is pretty counter to observation in my experience.

                  This has to be the greatest John malapropism ever.

                  1. He obviously hasn’t read The Root

                    1. He obviously hasn’t read The Root

                      Don’t post your Australian pornography here

                2. There’s a white couple at my church with two white kids and two black kids. I haven’t gone and asked them “did you adopt?” but I would suspect they did.

                  1. Hopefully they’d have the humor to point at the ones that have the skin tone most like themselves and say, “Just those two.”

      2. My favorite story along these lines is of Hollywood arch-Catholic Loretta Young. She got knocked up courtesy of Clark Gable, laid low for several months, and then showed up again claiming to have adopted a child.

        1. So she didn’t kill the ba-uh, fetus. Where is the kid now?

          1. Ah, it was Judy Lewis, also an actress. She died three years ago. Wikipedia is awesome.

            Young seemed to go to great lengths to conceal Lewis’ parentage. It would have been simpler just to have an abortion.

            And just because the stigma on extramarital sex and adultery was stronger then, well I can understand a woman making an exception for Clark Gable. Nowadays with standards lower, maybe she’d do it with Pauly Shore.

    2. All right, let’s suppose the SoCons could convert more people to their worldview. That would mean less extramarital sex, and fewer “unwanted” babies. It’s not the socons who preach, “screw all you want, just don’t get pregnant!”

      1. True. But you don’t often get to have it all. You get bits and pieces. Since birth control is readily available and the culture of sex is very permissive, you are likely to only get the shame for getting knocked up piece.

        And no matter how much you preach abstinence, unless you get people to start getting married younger, few people are going to wait until they are married. People waited until they were married in the 50s sure. But they also got married in their late teens or early 20s.

        1. The old stigma was because of disapproval of extramarital sex. If the socons definitively lost that battle, then it seems unfair to worry about restoring the stigma, unless the solibs adopt a stigma about not using birth control.

          1. No one but the Catholics object to birth control and not even many of them.

            The other thing that kept extra martial sex rare back in the day was the lack of antibiotics. Getting syphilis used to be a death sentence. It was the HIV of its day. And even getting gonorrhea, while generally not life threatening or a danger of long term effects, still sucked.

            If we ever get to a point where antibiotics don’t work, the fun of screwing around will diminish significantly.

            1. Your point is that, for whatever reason, the genie is out of the bottle. So there shouldn’t be any worry about the socons putting it (the genie) in again.

        2. People waited until they were married in the 50s sure.

          No they didn’t.

          1. But they were more likely to end up married to the people they were bonking.

            1. But they were more likely to end up married to the people they were bonking.

              Maybe.

              I’m a firm believer in the human condition, and I have a hard time believing that people all of a sudden started fucking before marriage, or fucked those they would eventually marry.

              1. I don’t believe that either, the question is the rate at which people were doing so.

        3. People waited until they were married in the 50s sure

          No they didn’t.

          That’s a SoCon myth. Now they did get married when the young woman got pregnant – which led to many unhappy marriages as the people grew apart as the matured.

          1. Yeah, Ive looked at lots of historical stuff and I dont think that time ever existed.

            And parents realized it, so they tried to control it, make sure it occurred with a proper suitor.

          2. They were a hell of a lot more careful and they got married a lot younger.

            Yes people screwed around throughout history. But they did it less when the consequences of bad luck were higher.

            1. But they did it less when the consequences of bad luck were higher.

              Exactly – consider negative societal pressure as a tax. And with any tax, its mere existence means less of whatever it’s taxing.

              But I also agree the point to “this didn’t use to happen” is looking back on a history that didn’t exist in reality.

              But that’s human nature – historical pain lessens overtime in our heads to becoming non-existent with enough time – and wins get exaggerated.

              This is likely some brain mechanism for moving forward or whatever – but it’s pretty well proven in various studies to be the case.

              This is why “out generation is better than the next” is a constant throughout human history. The downfall of society is always “that generation that just doesn’t get it”.

              Of course, in various times in history those complaints were true, such as I assume they existed close to the fall of Rome and think the US has several generations in a row contributing to the current, and likely ongoing issues from the next few decades…

              Either way – the fact the perfectness of marriage in the US during the 50s is exaggerated does not mean there isn’t some truth in part of it.

          3. Saying some things got worse since the 50s doesn’t mean holding the decade up as some kind of golden age. Some things have gotten better since then, and I think few socons deny that, though maybe you could find a few. And who denies the existence of the Don Drapers?

  32. Unlike the fall of Saigon, Obama won’t even send helicopters.

    He’ll go on the teevee to address the nation, and tell us his hands were tied by anti-immigration Rethuglitards.

    1. It won’t be his fault. That we know for sure.

      1. The buck does stop somewhere else with that clown. That’s the problem with someone who has never actually accomplished anything in life and instead was always told how wonderful and smart he is.

        He is literally our first Millennial president.

  33. Now that’s a head lock! Brazilian vigilantes catch ‘thief’ and shackle his neck to a lamppost (after stripping him naked)

    Teenage boy was ambushed by three vigilantes in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
    Stripped naked and stabbed in ear, before being shackled to lamppost
    Firefighters were forced to use cutting equipment to rescue youngster
    He had allegedly tried to mug a pedestrian in the street before attack
    Police have now identified the teenager and launched an investigation

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..ppost.html
    I wonder if the kid will continue to pick pockets…

    1. Hey, at least Warty didn’t happen by.

  34. Lockheed Martin fires most powerful portable LASER weapon it has ever created in hi-tech race to replace missiles

    30 kilowatt laser tested for the first time
    Combines multiple lasers into a single beam
    Could eventually be mounted on tanks, helicopters and jets
    Several firms working to develop laser weapons

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sci…..d-the.html
    Always just over the horizon. Like the practical electric car.

    1. yeah. But I bet it could work on ships or on fixed sights against missiles. Missiles are getting so fast that there is no time to shoot them down with other missiles.

    2. How do I shoot a laser over the horizon and hit something?

      1. Mirrors, Brett. Mirrors. Invest in mirrors.

        1. There is a Real Genius joke lurking here somewhere, but its been too long since Ive seen it.

          1. I wasn’t thinking about it, but it’s true enough–Real Genius owns orbital lasers and mirrors.

            1. Roy: Our studies indicate the weapon is totally useless in warfare.

              David Decker: It’s not intended for use in your kind of warfare, Roy. It’s the perfect peacetime weapon. That’s why it’s secret.

              Man: So it’s both immoral *and* unethical?

              David Decker: Yes.

              1. I need to remember this quote, as its the perfect description of the drone program.

      2. Aircraft Drone mounted lasers will push the effective horizon back (or nice killsats)

        1. Lasers mounted on armored (and mirrored) zeppelins would also be effective.

          1. Wait a minute – did you just propose “Flying disco balls of death”?

            1. Well, not exactly. I mean, they wouldn’t spin or be spherical.

              1. Why not? Our energy weapons could be effectively MIRV’d by using disco balls mounted on drones.

                1. The future is going to be very, um, busy, what with floating disco ball defense systems, drone deliveries, drone cops, zeppelin defenders, flying cars, and who knows what else.

            2. Ohmigod, war in the future is FABULOUS!

              1. This is why they fought so hard to keep TEH GEHZ out of the military. And like every US war for the last half century, they won every battle and still lost the war.

        2. Great, now we’re going to have to *polish* our tinfoil hats?!??

  35. Giraffe walks into a bar..! Perdy becomes a regular with his nightly stroll through South African restaurant but stops short of necking a drink

    Perdy wandered into a Johannesburg restaurant and looked in the bins
    Tourists sent into fits of giggles in incident caught on camera

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..drink.html
    Those things are big. Really fucking big.

    1. The real story in the DM is that Leann Rimes appears to have started eating again and the good bits of her figure have come back.

  36. Sotomayor: Labeling Illegal Immigrants Criminals Is Insulting

    Oh, ease up, Sonia. Everyone knows they’re not Criminal-criminals!

    1. That’s a Supreme Court Justice you’re referring to. The proper phraseology is “Loosen up, Sonia, baby.”

    2. There was a reason I didn’t like her.

    3. Are they living here in violation of a law prohibiting them doing so? If you don’t want to insult them, decriminalize their perfectly non-dangerous behavior.

  37. So all the fucking idiot yinzers are freaking out about some cop-dog that got ganked, because what are they gonna fill their brains with now that football’s over? Math? No.

    So naturally there is a bipartisan, quick-push law being rushed through that makes killing a cop dog a felony punishable by up to 10 years in prison. Yes, ten fucking years. For a fucking dog.

    1. I am down with that. The dogs are often a lot more noble than the cops.

    2. What? I think in Florida its already felony murder of a LEO.

      1. Unless the cop leaves it in a hot car for a week.

    3. Cops kill dogs as standard procedure.

      But there is no double standard.

    4. What’s the prison sentence for a cop killing your dog?

      1. You get 5 years for possession of a dangerous animal.

    5. Only if the cop gets 10 years if he shoots mine.

    6. How fucking retarded. I hadn’t even hewrd of thiw, but then, ai.don’t watch the local news.

      1. Your typos have the smack of genius about them, you know.

        1. You try posting from a phone while piloting a Life Flight helicopter.

          1. The good news is, the passenger was probably gonna die before the helo crash.

    7. I’m one of the strongest proponents of animal welfare here, and that law is total bullshit. It’s not about the dogs; it’s about the state.

  38. A history of Super Bowl cheerleaders: From preppy varsity sweaters to skin-tight neon, how uniforms have evolved over the last 45 years

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem…..years.html
    They run this every year, but it’s still fun to look at.

    1. The one from the 60s in the headdress is probably someone’s grandmother by now. But she was doll back in the day.

  39. Driving to work today I saw a Mass. DOT vehicle. A Volt. Are you fucking serious? Might as well buy them a fucking Lexus.

    1. They don’t call it Taxachusetts for nothing.

      1. NYC has plenty of Prii as official vehicles.

        1. So does Houston.

        2. As a Volt is double the price of a Prius, it’s still a rather significant difference.

          Of course, DOT might have gotten a sweet Government Motors discount so who knows.

  40. Google must move its mystery barge from San Francisco Bay island because its permits are not in order

    Google is being forced to move a barge it has on a construction site in the middle of the San Francisco Bay
    San Francisco Bay authorities say the company does not have the correct permits
    Google can resolve the issue by moving the barge to one of the permitted construction facilities bay
    Google has been tight-lipped about the proposed use of the barge
    ‘Although it’s still early days and things may change, we’re exploring using the barge as an interactive space,’ the company said in a statement last year

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..order.html
    Freedom means asking permission and obeying orders.

    1. Google can resolve the issue by moving the barge to one of the permitted construction facilities bay

      or by coughing up the proper tribute paying the appropriate fines.

    2. Google can resolve the issue by packing up all its shit.onto the barge and floating it out into.international waters. Or around to the Gulf of.Mexico, where I’m sure Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, and America’s Dong will be happy to.acoomodate it.

    3. “Your papers are not in order”

      *motions to lurking San Fran U-Boat*

      “Torpedo…los!”

      BOOM!

      1. “And then I shall decide.whether or not.to.blow.your ship from the water.”

  41. I heard an American last week claim Jacksonville, Florida, is the armpit of America. Is it?

    1. It’s not that bad. It’s Florida, but with a southern drawl.

    2. It’s the left armpit. The right armpit is Scranton, I think.

    3. Eh. The St. Johns river adds some charm if you’re in that section, but J’ville is literally all of Duval County now, which includes nice beaches, a scenic river with estuarial dolphins, and a shit-load of scrub pines infested by rednecks.

    4. If you’re from north Florida, which I am, it sometimes seems a bit backwards and redneckish compared to other parts of the country, but probably is no worse in reality. I imagine anywhere you’re from can be frustrating and grow tiresome even if you love it. Pleasant though sometimes hot weather, nice beaches, great fishing, hot southern women.

      I would take Jacksonville over most northern Rust Belt cities in a heartbeat. Detroit is probably the armpit of America. Jacksonville is, at worst, a sweaty collarbone region.

      1. The other armpit is somewhere in Mississippi. I avoid even stopping in that state when I make the FL-TX and back drive every year or so.

    5. It also depends on how you feel about Tim Tebow.

    6. I have always heard of NJ as the armpit. And since Florida is America’s wang, Jacksonville would be right at the top of the shaft, maybe the pubes if you don’t want to give it credit as being actual penis (of these United States).

  42. How do I shoot a laser over the horizon and hit something?

    Put it in space, where the horizon is less of an impediment.

  43. Senator Warren proposes the USPS offer banking services to combat “predatory loan” services like payday loans and check cashing.

    http://www.jacobinmag.com/2013…..ge-public/

    1. Meant to include this snark…

      Apparently the Postal Service isn’t losing enough money.

    2. The various regulations and fees on banks that SARBOX and Frank Dodd put on banks that made free checking virtually impossible wouldn’t have anything to do with poor people relying on check cashing services or anything.

      Also, the various money laundering laws that make it virtually impossible to deposit cash or open a checking account without a verified address also have nothing to do with that.

      Nope, this is a problem totally created by the greedy banks that Fauxcohonus is going to solve with good government action.

      1. The various regulations and fees on banks that SARBOX and Frank Dodd put on banks that made free checking virtually impossible wouldn’t have anything to do with poor people relying on check cashing services or anything.

        Also, the various money laundering laws that make it virtually impossible to deposit cash or open a checking account without a verified address also have nothing to do with that.

        Nope, this is a problem totally created by the greedy banks that Fauxcohonus is going to solve with good government action.

        Regulations interfering with people’s choices is a right wing meme unless we’re talking about abortion regulations.

    3. This is a ploy to start giving taxpayer-guaranteed payday loans, USPS is just the vehicle.

    4. That’s not unheard of. In England the PO does (did?) also offer basic banking services. I know they offered the equivalent of a passbook savings account, not sure how much else they did.

      And I’m not saying this is a good thing, just not without precedent.

      1. Neither is rounding people up and putting them in camps. Precedent is meaningless in stupid except as a warning not to repeat the stupid.

      2. As others pointed out yesterday, the real issue here is that Warren is proposing that the PO do something that lefties normally deride in the private sector–giving poor people payday loans.

        The other issue, which none of the mouth-breathers at HuffPo seemed to address, was where exactly would the capital come from to provide those loans? It’s not like the PO has a bunch of money lying around unused. Would the Fed just print some for them out of thin air? Would they take it from the pension funds of PO workers, a la the mob leveraging the Teamsters’ fund for Vegas casino development in the 60s and 70s?

        1. Deposit mandates. Yes, you heard it here first, kids.

  44. Google has been tight-lipped about the proposed use of the barge

    “Just don’t mention the laser.”

  45. Senator Warren proposes the USPS offer banking services

    “Why can’t America be more like those civilized countries in Europe?”

    1. What could be safer than giving your savings directly to the government?

      1. Well I’m glad that government takes a little bit out of each of my paychecks and puts it into my social security account. It’s nice that I won’t have to worry about money when I retire because someone had the foresight to plan it for me.

        1. Yes, let’s estimate the rate of return on that investment.

          1. Well, the rate they pay me is pegged to the cost of living of course. So I shouldn’t have to worry.

          2. My Grandma bought us U.S. savings bonds for our birthdays when we were kids. A few years ago I cashed in a bunch that had matured. After taxes, the “investment” was basically a wash.

            1. I’ve got a ton (~12) of savings bonds from my grandparents when I was a kid. I should probably considering finding them to cash in.

              1. They’re barely worth face value. It sucks.

          3. SSA estimates that a 2 earner couple earning medium wage levels born about when me and my fiancee were born will get a 2.3% ROR.

            And Im betting that SSA is estimating high, if anything.

            2.3% is pretty abysmal. Better than a saving account these days, but that isnt saying much.

            1. This year I got a 15% return on my IRA. Obviously not going to average that high, but still way more than 2.3.

              1. The last ten years have effed up everything, but when I was in college in the late 1980s, they were saying that a broad market index should average around 10% annualized growth, over time. That was considered the target to beat for investors.

                1. Yes, the last ten have truly sucked. Who would have thought that a decade of elective war and Keynesian policy would.have created a Lost Generation of.investors?

                  1. I have seen money markets that were paying over 4% go down to something like 0.04%.

                  2. My dad was pretty damn poor but spent his extra money on gold, silver and ammo during the 90s and aughts.

                    The ROI on a case of 5.56 beats just about all markets.

                    I’ll probably shoot all the ammo he left me, but still.

                    1. General, I know you had said a while.back.your. Dad was ill, but I didn’t know he had passed away. My sincere condolences.

  46. Whoa… Seattle sheriff fires deputy who threatened cop photographer. Somebody get me to the fainting couch.

    1. The bad news is he will probably get another job in another jurisdiction in about five minutes.

      1. Five minutes? Chances are someone knew what was going down and already had another job lined up for him. Blue protects blue.

  47. My wife might be pregnant with some other man’s child

    My wife and I have a female-led relationship. Before we got married, I agreed that she could “take other lovers,” while I would remain faithful to her alone.

    There’s your problem right there, dipshit.

    Also, the law won’t care. If you’re a white couple and that baby comes out half-black, half-hispanic, half-asian, YOU ARE STILL THE FATHER! Sucker.

  48. Back in the Dark Ages, when I took Money and Banking, we were told banks (You know, the George Bailey Community Savings and Loan, not Goldman Sachs) had what was called a “business model” involving a scheme whereby they took in deposits on which they paid a pittance in interest, and loaned those deposits out into the world at usurious markups, and lived on what were referred to as “profits”. What a simple world that was, back in the days when we all painted ourselves blue and sacrificed goats.

    I am reluctant to investigate her plan, for fear of my already tenuous grasp on sanity. Am I correct in assuming Senator Warren wants to take deposits from (mostly) poor working people, and use those deposits to fund the vast money-losing front-office operations of the USPS? Because it would be in no way surprising to me if that were the case.

    1. Customer walks into the post office.

      Customer: Yeah, I’d like to get a withdrawl from my account. (Gives ID and account number)

      Postal Employee: Your account is empty.

      Customer: Empty? I had $300 in there on my last statement and haven’t made any withdrawls since.

      Postal Employee: We had to empty many accounts to pay for our pensions.

      Customer: That’s my money. Give it back!

      Postal Employee: All your moneys are belong to us!

    2. I heard a credit union board member back during the crash a couple years ago say, “here we were thinking that if you borrowed money at 2% and loaned it at 7%, you had a pretty good thing going.”

    3. The Japanese had a system just like this, only they didn’t make personal loans. Millions of hard working and saving Japanese saved their money at the post office.

      What happened in Japan is that money paid low interest and was generally looted as the government made corrupt loans to various crony corporations.

      The levels of stupidity here are pretty epic. Warren seems to actually believe that t he government can take in hundreds of billions in people’s savings and loan it out without the money being stolen via corrupt loan practices.

      I doubt money under her scheme would go directly to the cronies. Instead, it would be another welfare program for a favored constituency as the post office took people’s savings and gave or “loaned it” it in the name of fairness to various deadbeats who had no intention or ability of paying it back.

      1. Yep. “Hey, America, look at this big pile of.money we found! Let’s have a program!”

      2. The levels of stupidity here are pretty epic. Warren seems to actually believe that t he government can take in hundreds of billions in people’s savings and loan it out without the money being stolen via corrupt loan practices.

        Why do you assume this isn’t precisely the outcome she wants?

        1. Oh, they’ll only loan it to the Federal Government. Your money is safe as cash.

  49. Alaska suffers January heat-wave. Its almost like the cold air went somewhere else.

    But remember, kids: unseasonably cold temperatures are weather, unseasonably warm temperatures are climate!

  50. Its almost like the cold air went somewhere else.

    I know where some of it is.

    It has warmed up slightly, though; all the way to -2F.

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