A.M. Links: Eric Holder Willing to Discuss Edward Snowden's Return, FBI Warns of More Target-Like Cyberattacks, $12 Minimum Wage Bill Introduced in Washington State

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    Attorney General Eric Holder hinted that the U.S. is prepared to "engage in conversation" with whistleblower Edward Snowden to ensure his return from Russia under negotiated terms. No hard feelings, right?

  • Edward Snowden's asylum will be extended, said the Foreign Affairs Committee Chair of the Russian Duma. He wouldn't want to miss the Olympics, after all.
  • The FBI has warned U.S. retailers to prepare for more cyberattacks after discovering about 20 hacking cases in the past year that involved the same kind of malicious software used against Target in the holiday shopping season. As if you needed a better reason to switch to Dogecoin or Coinye West.
  • Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) announced a five-point set of issues that Democrats must address to beat "tea party elites" in the 2014 midtern election.
  • A Democratic state senator from Seattle introduced a bill that would raise Washington state's minimum wage to $12 an hour over a three year period. Why not make kings of us all and raise it to $20?
  • The Syrian government delegation has threatened to quit peace talks in Geneva if "serious" discussions do not begin by tomorrow.

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  1. Attorney General Eric Holder hinted that the U.S. is prepared to “engage in conversation” with whistleblower Edward Snowden to ensure his return from Russia under negotiated terms.

    Snowden has thus far proved himself too smart to trust any deal from the Obama people.

    1. Seriously. If he was going to make a deal, it would need to be written on metal tablets at a ceremony televised live to the entire world.

      1. televised live to the entire world

        YOu mean like the moon landings? We all know the truth about the veracity of live tv.

        1. I was thinking more as a global witness.

          1. Just do it as part of the opening ceremony at the Olympics.

          2. yeah, I just was being sarcastic and implying the thing could be faked.

            1. No, I got that. I just thought I wasn’t as clear in my original comment as I should have been.

      2. It wouldn’t make a difference. If Snowden has shown us one thing, it’s that the US Government can do whatever the hell they want and nobody cares. They’ll make promises, then they’ll arrest him the moment he hits American soil, and then the American public will shake their heads and get back to their discussions about Justin Bieber.

        1. ^Please have the above inscribed on a tombstone for the American Republic, right next to the grave of Ben Franklin.

      3. written on metal tablets

        Laser inscribed in sapphire wafers.

  2. Hello.

    1. Morning!

    2. Hey guys, who are you talking to? It sure looks like you’re just spontaneously having a conversation about nothing with each other, but that couldn’t be. I’m so very very confused.

  3. Caught on tape! Libertarian bogeyman!

    1. Needs more Newman.

      1. Even more evidence for my theory that her insurance was cancelled and she’s been off her meds since the first of the year.

        1. Wow, I just watched the Stalkers one. Brought back some memories. What’s up with Sloopy? Too busy at work? What happened to RPA?

          1. What’s up with Sloopy?

            In mourning for the way Ohio $tate’s season ended.

            1. Well there is basketball now…oh wait.

        2. That’s some theory, Zippy! You should bundle it with your flat-earth theory and sell it to the highest bidder!

          1. And here’s yet more evidence.

            1. IT’S FUNNY EVERY TIME.

        3. You’re just angry you were described as “a self-appointed thread cop and snitch” and not “scourge of God and erotic horror dilettante”

    2. That’s pretty darn high quality stuff there. But if you want to be a serious comedian you need to remove the laugh track.

      1. neads moar ROADZ. Roads are my favorite libertarian meme. Although that axis of glib post made my day.

      2. But then, how will the libertarians know when to laugh?

  4. Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) announced a five-point set of issues that Democrats must address to beat “tea party elites[sic]” in the 2014 midtern[sic] election.

    More government. Is Chucky Funbags is trying to throw the midterms?

    1. Hahahaha. If anyone represents an “elite,” it is Mooby Schumer and the Funbags.

      Also the.name of.my new band.

      1. Would you vote for me if I gave you a mooby snack?

          1. If you are lactose intolerant, db, you shouldn’t be eating those mooby snacks. I know they look yummy, but look what happened to you.

      2. would contrast with “tea party elites”

        See, it’s really all about differentiating themselves among the voting consumer. Grabbing market share. It has nothing to do with principles. Only messaging.

        1. Let me be clear: there are those who would say our current leader was elected using this method.

          1. make no mistake; I reject the argument that one can only be elected on the strength of his convictions, even though, ah, convictions, um, matter. To someone.

    2. Schumer, the No. 3 Democrat in Senate leadership, gave a detailed account of the issues that Democrats should focus on, but in most instances he acknowledged that congressional Democrats and the White House had not yet agreed upon a detailed legislative policy. His agenda would focus on: increasing the minimum wage; making college more affordable; infrastructure projects; equal pay for women; and imposing penalties on global competitors for unfair trade practices.

      So no actual policy, but plenty of speeches about how something must be done.

      It’s interesting to see Manboobs didn’t mention immigration. I guess they will wait until 2016 to string along the dreamers into thinking they’ll do something about it.

      1. Pretend the quote ended after the first paragraph.

      2. making college more affordable;

        Because continuing to inflate the bubble makes something more affordable.

      3. everything in that agenda translates as “govt needz moar revenooooo”

    3. Zod, yes. Make college more affordable by offering more federal money to students. That should work.

      1. **** you for beating me to the punch, although at least I threaded properly. 😉

        1. Hey, at least I threaded under Fist’s mention of the topic, not under some guy who can’t even blockquote properly, so there’s that.

          I’m hoping two years of lower dual enrollment tuition and a prepaid tuition plan can insulate me from whatever fuckwittery Schumer manages to foist on us.

          1. , not under some guy who can’t even blockquote properly, so there’s that.

            The worst part of not having reasonable on my kindle HDX is having to scroll through all of bo’s posts

            1. Doesn’t everybody just auto-scroll past the eventual walls of text?

            2. This site would be unusable to me without reasonable.

              1. Yeah, I don’t have reasonable on my old junk laptop that I use at home. Awful.

                1. You’d think the people who run H&R would learn from all of these complaints.

                  1. They never see them, since they just auto-scroll past the eventual walls of text.

  5. Griping Guts = Warty

    How Londoners Died in One Plague-Ridden Week in 1665

    If medicine was still somewhat uncertain about the causes of death, those in charge of toting up deaths for the bills of mortality were even more so. As the Royal Society of Medicine’s website notes, “[Parish] clerks’ lack of medical training resulted in many peculiar or vague causes of death being recorded.” Hence, the deaths here chalked up to “griping in the guts,” “grief,” “suddenly,” and “stopping of the stomach.”

    1. Carl Sagan had a book where he included a page like that. Five deaths were attributed to “planet”.

      1. Sounds like “Cosmos” to me – the book that forever changed my 10yo self.

        1. From? Into what?

          1. CRC-raised to an atheist.

            1. You were raised by chemists?

        2. Oh, crap, not another cosmo-paleo pissing match.

          1. Don’t eat GRAINZZ!1!!

            1. Eat?! They are for brewing and distilling!

              /Boozetarian

    2. Looking at the year ahead, Schumer said it was imperative that Democrats find “a few specific, popular issues” that will be easy for the public to understand, as opposed to devoting the entire year to defending the complicated health law.

      He says that as if the ship hasn’t already been abandoned.

  6. He wouldn’t want to miss the Olympics, after all.

    I mean, “Snowden”, c’mon.

    1. Doesn’t Sochi mean den of snow or something?

      1. I think it means a zone. One of danger.

  7. Am I the only one who doesn’t like shows like ‘Shark Tank’ and ‘Lion’s Den?’ O’Leary is on the Canadian version:

    “It’s unlikely Kevin O’Leary has endeared himself to the working stiff with his reaction to the recent report that the world’s 85 richest people control wealth equal to that of the entire planet’s population. O’Leary responded to the Oxfam report on Wednesday’s edition of The Lang and O’Leary Exchange on CBC News Network by saying that he felt the report was “a great thing.” In O’Leary’s view: “It inspires everybody, gets them motivation to look up to the one per cent and say, ‘I want to become one of those people. I’m going to fight hard to get to the top.’ This is fantastic news and of course I applaud it. What can be wrong with this?”

    http://www.theglobeandmail.com…..e16473602/

    1. O’Leary is on both, because he’s pretty entertaining.

      1. Dragon’s Den. Sorry.

    2. Shark Tank is one of my favorite shows. Those sharks are laser-focused – on making money. What’s more noble?

      1. ^Agreed. It’s educational about the importance of knowing what things cost, being able to articulate why your thing is worth it, and the general principle of knowing you have something that serves other people’s needs.

        1. I’m willing to bet some of those folks made it by luck and without the criteria they demand.

          They once interviewed one of the Dragon’s Den guys on the radio and when asked to give advice all he could muster was to call various government departments for grants. Even his own story made little sense.

          1. I’m willing to bet some of those folks made it by luck

            That certainly may be true. But I think for most of us, the chances of creating a successful business are better (i.e., you might be luckier) if you at least know how to pitch a business idea and account for how you will make a profit. You may not make billions, but you might actually make a living.

            1. Don’t dispute that.

    3. The board of the CBC controls just as much media as half of the Canadian population. And yet that sort of concentration of things and inequality isn’t considered a problem.

      1. Because, Ted, they have our best interest at heart. What would Canada do without the CBC uniting us from coast to coast?

        1. You’d me more like the US. The horror!

          1. Isn’t “American Style” a pejorative up in the Great White North?

            1. Yes, but we secretly copy it.

              Sh..

    4. Plus, I would do very bad things to Kevin O’Leary in the sack (or vice versa?)

      1. My number is 555…

    5. “It’s unlikely Kevin O’Leary has endeared himself to the working stiff with his reaction to the recent report

      The working stiff needs to learn that the economy is not zero sum and that the existence of very rich people only creates more opportunities for work.

    6. I’m confused. The global poverty rate has collapsed and Bill Gates has recently stated that it’s likely there will be no poor countries left on Earth by the end of the century.

      Given that, why the fuck should I care how rich these people are? More people than ever before are capable of feeding their families.

      1. People really believe that some people being rich is a cause of other people being poor. It is completely stupid and wrong, but very popular.

        I heard a story on the radio last night about, among other things, a guy who inherited a bunch of money from his father or grandfather and was horribly wracked with guilt because he believe that shit. Where the hell was dad and grandpa to explain to him that that is not how things work.

  8. Remember that whole government shutdown thingy? The FAA is still stuck on October 25 in the processing queue for issuing new airman certificates.

  9. Man spends four decades in mental hospital for stealing $20 necklace

    Franklin H. Frye was charged with stealing a $20 necklace in 1970, and he has spent the better part of his life locked up ever since after being found not guilty by reason of insanity.

    Mr. Frye was sent to St. Elizabeths Hospital in Washington in 1971, part of which houses the criminally insane ? including would-be presidential assassin John Hinckley Jr.

    1. After reading the article, it is not clear to me that he wasn’t insane. And his ‘incarceration’ wan;t for stealing, the stealing was the thing that brought him to the attention of the judicial system. He has, apparently, had a motion filed in the last 5 years for his release, claiming he is cured (at age 70), but that has languished. Still terrible, but the headline is a bit misleading.

      1. It may be misleading, but incarceration against his will is still a major issue.

        Unless you think its okay to lock up crazy people involuntarily.

      2. The fact that the motion never got reassigned when the judge died isn’t a problem?

        1. Agreed with both robc and BrettL…Just saying that this isn’t about some schlub being incarcertated in a mental institution for 40 years because of petite theft, which distracts from the larger issues you both raised.

  10. Edward Snowden’s asylum will be extended, said the Foreign Affairs Committee Chair of the Russian Duma.

    Putin must really be enjoying this.

    1. Because Eddie is his butt-buddy?

      1. No, I was thinking more because he gets to keep putting the screws to Oba- Ohhh, you almost got me.

        1. Who are you talking to?
          Are you off your meds again?

        2. resorting to responding to yourself…how low can you go?

  11. A man is engaged in a bitter fight with the NT Government over 2 cents he owes on a speeding fine.

    http://www.ntnews.com.au/news/…..6809336085

    1. Do you think NT will ever become a state?

      1. If the population increases significantly, maybe. Statehood would (inter alia) bring the right to elect 10 senators, and I don’t think the rest of the country would be impressed by 230,000 people getting the same right to fuck up the Senate as the large states, so constitutional change won’t be happening any time soon. Given the insane overreach of the Federal Government, it’s not as if statehood would bring much more power than it has currently as a self-governing territory anyway.

        1. Thanks. Always mildly interested – I lived in Darwin for 2 years in my teens.

        2. Holy crap…i didn’t know it WASN’T a state…learn something new every day.

          (I just thought “territory” was part of its name)

          1. I didn’t even know the Aussies had states. I figured they’d have counties or shires or some other pommie crap. Even if they call the Aussie pound a “dollar” they still have the queen on it, after all.

      2. The Northern Territory should secede and join in cross-hemispheric union with Nunavut.

        1. If only it were that easy. IIRC, the people in the southern NT (around Alice) aren’t real fond of the people in the northern NT (around Darwin). And then when you get to the mining towns…

        2. I’ll have none of that!

    2. “Millions in defence, not two pence in tribute!”

    3. This is one of those common sense vs. process issues that always, at the extreme, makes one think common sense should reign, but then you get into a boundaries/abuse debate as .02 becomes .20 becomes 2.00 becomes 20.00.

      Who gets to decide the discretion and what latitude are they given and what preventions are there for them abusing that latitude?

      Thus, you typically end up back at Zero Tolerance. It’s easier, as a matter of process, to enforce things exactly than to allow discretion, and thus the necessary oversight of discretion, to creep in.

      1. Easy. When the fine is less than the cost of mailing the fine notification to the guilty party plus the cost of mailing it back, it should be waived. Make it a dollar limit. If you want to go further and consider the cost of the processing of a fine so it ends up being somewhere between $0 and $5 that you ignore, I won’t argue. And if an agency thinks the accused shouldn’t be fined more than that because their offense is not heinous enough to pay $6 as penalty, then the offense need not be codified.

  12. Poor, Neil. So…weird. It’s okay when his side does it – accept lobby cash.

    http://www.torontosun.com/2014…..ck-concert

    1. Dude, reboot your English processor. It seems to.have frozen solid in that Canuckistani frozen hell.

      1. It’s a good thing computers weren’t invented in Canada or else our help desks would be asking people if they rebouted their computer yet.

        1. Not getting the sarc here. Explain please.

        2. This is not aboot deals. This aboot dignity. This is aboot freedom… This is aboot respect.

          1. “What am I so upset ‘aboot?’ What am I so upset’aBOOT?’ I’LL TELL YOU WHAT IM SO UPSET ABOOT!”

          2. Hey! I didn’t know you were the Canadian Minister of Movies!

  13. from Seattle introduced a bill that would raise Washington state’s minimum wage to $12 an hour over a three year period. Why not make kings

    It’s bad enough that Seattle lost the Sonics. Now you want them to acquire the Kings?

    1. +1 All-Star vote

    2. It’s bad enough that Seattle lost the Sonics

      Not for some of us!

      1. No kidding. It’s possible to look down on the owner of the current OKC Thunder for trying to blackmail a taxpayer-funded pleasure palace out of Seattle, AND those who think that allegiance to a team means that the team is public property instead of a private organization.

  14. Gregory Hicks: Benghazi and the Smearing of Chris Stevens

    Last week the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence issued its report on the Sept. 11, 2012, terrorist attacks in Benghazi, Libya. The report concluded that the attack, which resulted in the murder of four Americans, was “preventable.” Some have been suggesting that the blame for this tragedy lies at least partly with Ambassador Chris Stevens, who was killed in the attack. This is untrue: The blame lies entirely with Washington.

    The report states that retired Gen. Carter Ham, then-commander of the U.S. Africa Command (Africom) headquartered in Stuttgart, Germany, twice offered to “sustain” the special forces security team in Tripoli and that Chris twice “declined.” Since Chris cannot speak, I want to explain the reasons and timing for his responses to Gen. Ham. As the deputy chief of mission, I was kept informed by Chris or was present throughout the process.

    1. 9/11 was “preventable” too.

      1. Good thing nobody bothered to investigate that fake scandal.

        1. There was a fake scandal aspect to 9/11 in that Bush/Cheney planned it all along.

          The fact that they gleefully pounced on 9/11 as an excuse to makeover/nation build the Middle East is the real scandal Americans supported via their reelection in 2004. A spectacular failure it was too.

          1. These are the 98 U.S. senators for voted in favor of the US Patriot Act of 2001 (Senator Landrieu (D-LA) did not vote) Senator Russ Feingold of Wisconsin was the only senator who voted against the Patriot Act on October 24, of 2001.

            98 Senators gleefully pounced on 9/11 as an excuse to makeover/nation build the Middle East

            You are not good enough to grace Palins’ a-hole.

            1. And 77 Senators voted for the Iraq war.

              Allard (R-CO)
              Allen (R-VA)
              Baucus (D-MT)
              Bayh (D-IN)
              Bennett (R-UT)
              Biden (D-DE)
              Bond (R-MO)
              Breaux (D-LA)
              Brownback (R-KS)
              Bunning (R-KY)
              Burns (R-MT)
              Campbell (R-CO)
              Cantwell (D-WA)
              Carnahan (D-MO)
              Carper (D-DE)
              Cleland (D-GA)
              Clinton (D-NY)
              Cochran (R-MS)
              Collins (R-ME)
              Craig (R-ID)
              Crapo (R-ID)
              Daschle (D-SD)
              DeWine (R-OH)
              Dodd (D-CT)
              Domenici (R-NM)
              Dorgan (D-ND)
              Edwards (D-NC)
              Ensign (R-NV)
              Enzi (R-WY)
              Feinstein (D-CA)
              Fitzgerald (R-IL)
              Frist (R-TN)
              Gramm (R-TX)
              Grassley (R-IA)
              Gregg (R-NH)
              Hagel (R-NE)
              Harkin (D-IA)
              Hatch (R-UT)
              Helms (R-NC)
              Hollings (D-SC)
              Hutchinson (R-AR)
              Hutchison (R-TX)
              Inhofe (R-OK)
              Johnson (D-SD)
              Kerry (D-MA)
              Kohl (D-WI)
              Kyl (R-AZ)
              Landrieu (D-LA)
              Lieberman (D-CT)
              Lincoln (D-AR)
              Lott (R-MS)
              Lugar (R-IN)
              McCain (R-AZ)
              McConnell (R-KY)
              Miller (D-GA)
              Murkowski (R-AK)
              Nelson (D-FL)
              Nelson (D-NE)
              Nickles (R-OK)
              Reid (D-NV)
              Roberts (R-KS)
              Rockefeller (D-WV)
              Santorum (R-PA)
              Schumer (D-NY)
              Sessions (R-AL)
              Shelby (R-AL)
              Smith (R-NH)
              Smith (R-OR)
              Snowe (R-ME)
              Specter (R-PA)
              Stevens (R-AK)
              Thomas (R-WY)
              Thompson (R-TN)
              Thurmond (R-SC)
              Torricelli (D-NJ)
              Voinovich (R-OH)
              Warner (R-VA)

              1. What’s your point?

                We all know how Bush terrified the US populace every day with his color terror codes and warnings of mushroom clouds wafting over Dogdick, Ga.

                23 Senators had the good sense to vote against the AUMF. Hil-Dog fucked up her 2008 lay-up on that vote.

                1. There was a fake scandal aspect to 9/11 in that Bush/Cheney planned it all along.

                  They planned it during their visit to Area 51 with Bigfoot.

                  1. I said that it was FAKE. These was no legit scandal tying the planning of 9/11 to Bush/Cheney.

                    I am no Truther in the least.

                2. Palin, you have a shockingly simplistic take on things.

                  What you say, Mr. ‘Classical Liberal?’

                3. The Doglick, Ga. public actually did have good reason to be terrified, though not from a mushroom cloud. Several of the anthrax victims came from similar towns. At the time it was reasonable to assume that the anthrax attack was Muslim terrorism.

                  It is now well known that the perpetrator of the anthrax terror attack was an agent of the US Government, though he is widely believed to have been a rouge agent.

                  1. Perhaps even a rouge angel of satin.

                    1. *angle

                      Damn it, screwed up my misspelling joke with correct spelling.

      2. Hey, look over there!

    2. Scuttlebut in the military says that Ham activated his SF unit and ordered them in. At which point he was relieved of command.

      Since, as he reported directly to the Secretary of Defense, Panetta and Obama were the only 2 people with that authority.

      Stevens was certainly up to something – why was here there instead of Tripoli?

      1. why was here there instead of Tripoli?

        because he was not the garden-variety ambassador, hosting parties and hobnobbing with the Colonel and other VIPs. This smacks of a CIA mission gone bad, gun-running to Syria maybe, and it’s why Repubs are doing little more than kabuki to give the appearance of outrage to their true believers.

        1. There is no cover-up of the CIA being there. The second, “secure” compound was a CIA hangout, and CIA personel attempted to rescue Stevens. I’m appalled by the abject stupidity of the entire operation – it smacks of major betrayal by our Libyan “allies” more than anything else.

      2. Why did the US have a consulate in a Libyan city with population of 600,000 in the first place? The US had no trade interests in Benghazi, no cultural ties to Benghazi, no large American expat community, nothing that would legitimately justify a consulate there. It certainly wasn’t there for the convenience of Benghazians to get US visas.

        This is a serious question. There are numerous cities with million plus population population that do not “enjoy” a US consulates. Why a consulate in a flea-bitten, third-tier Arab city in an unstable country that had just sodomized, tortured, and executed its dictator?

    3. Serious question: Why is Gen. Ham conspicuously absent in the Benghazi, um, conversation?

  15. A Democratic state senator from Seattle introduced a bill that would raise Washington state’s minimum wage to $12 an hour over a three year period.

    EVERY ECONOMIST AGREES.

    1. Yeah, I thought some might say this.

      1. But there are those who still disagree with common sense, proven reforms.

  16. Rodman to be investigated by Treasury Department. Have I mentioned I give The Daily Beast props for having Nick on?

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/a…..tions.html

  17. Breaking Breakfast News: Froot Loops Are All the Same Flavor

    If you fainted into your cereal bowl after reading that, you’re not alone. We’ve all been misled by those tempting lime green, orange, purple, yellow and red loops into thinking they are lime, orange, grape, lemon and cherry and/or strawberry flavored, when, in fact, they all the same flavor. That flavor? “Froot,” which according to Wikipedia, stems from “a blend of fruit flavors.”

    The good folks at Food Beast did some scientific blind testing and found that the rumors are true: Froot Loops all taste the same. In their words: “Each loop does in fact taste like mildly sweetened cardboard, with negligible or no differences between them.” In more shocking breakfast news, they found that blind taste testing of Trix and Fruity Pebbles yielded similar results.

    Damn you, General Mills!

    1. ‘Cardboard,’ my ass. Froot Loops is one of the only sugared cereals I can stand, and it ranks up there with Lucky Charms for awesomeness.

      1. I bet those bastards at General mills flavored all of the luck charms marshmallows the same too.

      2. Boo-Berry. Bring it back.

        1. Hell yes. They do bring it back around Halloween every year.

          1. Nothing beats having milk turned purple.

            1. Good thing it doesn’t turn brown!

              1. Like with Cocoa Krispies?

                1. Like with “Hershey Squirts”!

        2. I tried that for the first time last Halloween and it was terrible.

          Chocolate Frosted Flakes all the way (or Choco Zucaritas, since my local grocer gets the Hispanic-marketed version).

          1. Frosted Rice Krispies are my favorite. They’re still around, but tough to find. I’m tempted to buy the 5-box pack from Amazon.

          2. Choco Zucaritas…

            ?Yo encanto el mercado libre!

        3. That, and Archduke Chocula.

          1. What about Admiral Crunch?

            1. Admiral Mouthshredder? Love it!

              1. He reports to the First Sea Lord of the Damaged Palate, right?

              2. yup, rugmouth, gotta love it. And only with Crunch Berries.

                Pro Tip:
                Leinenkugles tastes exactly like Fruity Pebbles…take THAT to your grave.

                1. I know a guy who owns a brew shop who sells an extract kit called “Yabba Dabba” that is similar.

        4. There is nothing like a cruchberry though.

          1. I used to love the taste of those, but then they kill the inside of my mouth, it feels like I tried to eat fiberglass.

          2. “‘Crunchberry’, my ass!” 😉

      3. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is the best cereal and anyone who says otherwise is a liar and false-prophet.

        1. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is great. But 20 minutes later you are standing there, starving, wondering what you will have for lunch.

    2. Some of us can actually taste the artificial coloring, so there is a slight difference.

    3. Fruity Pebbles. That is all.

      1. Great. You have something in common with my daughter.

    4. I have a cunning plan. Inverted Frosted Flakes. Instead of wheat flakes coated in sugar, I suggest sugar flakes coated in wheat.

      1. SugarFree might be too smart to fall for that.

      2. More cunning then a fox that used to teach cunning at Oxford, before retiring to becoming the head of the U.N.s department of cunning?

    5. Wait….Does this mean all the Coco Pebbles are flavored the same??

      I knew they were sneaky bastards, but this just…dammit!!!

  18. Attorney General Eric Holder hinted that the U.S. is prepared to “engage in conversation” with whistleblower Edward Snowden to ensure his return from Russia under negotiated terms.

    I look forward to the next Edward Snowden leaking the details of those conversations.

    1. Negotiated terms? They still act like he did something wrong.

      Those terms better include a medal, a cash reward, and the NSA being disbanded with many of it’s members put on trial for betraying their oaths to protect and uphold the constitution of the United States.

    2. Yes. Then we can have a national conversation on Edward Snowden.

  19. The world’s most ancient Christian communities are being destroyed ? and no one cares

    Like many Coptic Christians in Egypt, Ayman Nabil Labib had a tattoo of the cross on his wrist. And like 17-year-old men everywhere, he could be assertive about his identity. But in 2011, after Egypt’s revolution, that kind of assertiveness could mean trouble.

    Ayman’s Arabic-language teacher told him to cover his tattoo in class. Instead of complying, the young man defiantly pulled out the cross that hung around his neck, making it visible. His teacher flew into a rage and began choking him, goading the young man’s Muslim classmates by saying, “What are you going to do with him?”

    Ayman’s classmates then beat him to death. False statements were given to police, and two boys were taken into custody only after Ayman’s terror-stricken family spoke out.

    1. If America wanted to help Syria and Egypt, we’d allow as many Copts, Syrian Christians, and Druze into the country as can get here. Communities already here would bring them and get them set up.

      North Dakota and Texas could probably absorb a thousand a month.

      1. Yeah, and they’d be mistaken for mooslims and hassled.

        1. Not necessarily true. We have a pretty sizable Copt community in my hometown (in SC) and they seem to be doing just fine.

        2. They’d love Jesus… and America, too.

          1. No…no…NOOOO!!!

            1. I read this in Rorschach’s voice (as in the film scene when the police surround Moloch’s apartment building).

      2. So the fix to the worlds problems is for everyone with a problem to move to the US?

        1. Not everyone, just Israel and the Coptic Christians. Maybe the three remaining Arab Christians and those 2 gay Chaldean dudes in Iraq. Then we can sit back and watch the fireworks.

    2. Replace “muslim” with “progressive” and that could be America.

      1. Muslims (and the Middle East in general) are notoriously conservative.

      2. I seem to have missed all the stories about progressives beating people to death.

        As awful as progressives can be, this is different and much worse.

        1. So-called “progressives” have never had anywhere near the numbers or power to attempt a Stalinist, Maoist, Islamic totalitarian style liquidation campaign here in the United States… yet.

          They dream of being able to try it one day though, and they absolutely would if they could get away with it. But of course they have to successfully disarm the country first before they can even think of attempting it, which is why it’s so important that we never allow them to do that.

          1. You can see other people’s dreams and read their minds? That must be cool.

        2. I seem to have missed all the stories about progressives beating people to death

          It’s called the knockout game.

          1. Uh, those are shit head kids, not progressives. Some libertarians seem to have at least as much trouble distinguishing the different kinds of people who disagree with them as many progressives or conservatives do.

            1. 5 will get you 10 they vote the same as any Berkley grad card carrying progressive, if they bother to vote.

      3. Uh, OK…

    3. Christians are not an officially approved leftist victim group, and so nobody cares, and nobody ever will.

      It’s no different then when whites are murdered in Africa. The leftists throw a fit about Aparthid, but never gave two shits when the white population in Zimbabwe was systematically murdered.

      1. ^ This. It’s OK not to feel sympathy for this group, because we’re not supposed to, see?

      2. It’s no different then when whites are murdered in Africa. The leftists throw a fit about Aparthid, but never gave two shits when the white population in Zimbabwe was systematically murdered.

        You see? Tolerance!

    4. And in response to this murder of a fellow Christian, the Pope said…

      …we have to liberate the poor from the tyranny of the market economy.

      1. Actually, the Pope Francis has been speaking on this for some time, see here: http://www.csmonitor.com/World…..an-martyrs

        The Catholic Church is being cautious about what they officially say since they have had priests kidnapped and beheaded in Iraq and Syria in recent years.

        I say the Swiss Guard is underdeployed and ready to see some real action.

        1. Release the Papal Ninjas!

    5. Religion of Peace

  20. The FBI has warned U.S. retailers to prepare for more cyberattacks…

    …thanks to Edward Snowden!

  21. Once again, people confusing free markets and special privileges:

    Corporation Carte Blanche: Will US-EU Trade Become Too Free?

    1. I think you got the link wrong.

      1. bugger me, so i did. Soz

        http://www.spiegel.de/internat…..45107.html

        1. What sort of buggery do you have in mind?

            1. Australian “comedy”? I’m sorry I don’t share your kink.

    2. “Too free.” Yes, that’s a problem our certainly world faces.

      1. “Too free.” Yes, that’s a problem our certainly world faces.

        And to think that those who would call freedom a problem are the very ones who control the narrative. These people are fucking sick, and they have actual influence.

    3. I thought the only thing europe exported was polish plumbers.

    4. They argue the treaty will make it easier for corporations to turn profits at the public’s expense in areas like water supply, health or education.

      The evul profitses! Ban it!

      There may be problems with this treaty as negotiated and the US’s closed talk style (most transparent administration evah), but when you base your opposition in neo-luddite talk, you are easily and rightly dismissed.

  22. A Democratic state senator from Seattle introduced a bill that would raise Washington state’s minimum wage to $12 an hour over a three year period. Why not make kings of us all and raise it to $20?

    Let’s just stop making these piffling gratuitous gestures. If you want to carry out an experiment, let’s make it meaningful.

    $100.-/hr.

    Then we’ll learn something about the value of human labor.

    1. This.

      $12 an hour over a three year period.

      “What do we want?” “$100 and hour!”

      “When do we want it?” “NOW!!”

  23. Court told how novice stripper attacked female audience who booed his stage show

    But a court today heard how Zbudowskyj had a few drinks for his nerves before changing into his fireman’s fancy dress

    The fireman was a flop who failed to ignite their passions with his stage show.

    More than 200 disappointed women started booing the “scrawny” stripper and pelting him with rolled up serviettes – and he began spitting cream at the audience.

    The court heard Zbudowskyj then lashed out at the compere, bit the nightclub manager and pulled the hair of one woman in the audience.

    1. bit the nightclub manager and pulled the hair of one woman in the audience.

      What a bitch.

    2. and pelting him with rolled up serviettes – and he began spitting cream at the audience.

      Sounds like the viewers initiated the violence.

      1. spitting cream

        Nice band name of the Counting Crows / Smashing Pumpkins type.

        1. I’m partial to the band name The Sodomy Project.

        2. Counting Crows / Smashing Pumpkins type

          Are you unaware that those are two very different types?

          1. They’re not that different in the grand scheme, but I believe he was referring to name type, not musical style.

  24. Police: Upstate woman stabbed by co-worker during argument over hog stomachs

    According to the report, the victim told police she and another woman, later identified as Johnnette Lachelle Brown, were in a room where the hogs are slaughtered and cut up for processing when Brown accused the victim of striking her with a hog stomach.

    The victim told officers she told Brown that there were no hog stomachs on the table and that she had not done this.

    The report said the two got into a verbal altercation and Brown walked around the table toward the victim with a pair of scissors in her hand.

    The victim said she tried to block Brown but Brown stabbed her in her neck, according to the report.

    1. Ladies, its tasty protobacon, why would we fight over who struck whom?

  25. Could this Russian ghost ship infested with CANNIBAL RATS beach in Britain? Experts fear storms have driven abandoned cruise liner towards land after Canadian tow ship lost it a YEAR ago

    Lyubov Orlova has been missing in the North Atlantic since last January
    Experts fear high winds have driven it worryingly close to UK shoreline
    Likely to have hundreds of diseased rats with only each other for food
    Abandoned liner cut adrift while being towed to Dominican Republican

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..antic.html

    1. That’s so yesterday PM links, dude. 😛

      1. I ignore the PM links, dude.

        1. Everyone ignored the PM links, they don’t count.

    2. All rats are opportunistic cannibals.

    3. A ship full of lawyers!

    4. The drivers of that Canadian tow ship? The Cleveland Browns.

    5. The rats continue to breed. Generations after generations of rats. Mutated by the unreported nuclear reactor on board the ship. The rats are changing, evolving.

      The rats are coming.

  26. Ouch! Woman left with 272 needles in her head after a PORCUPINE falls from a lamp post onto her

    Sandra Nabucco from Rio de Janeiro, was walking her dog when animal fell from a lamp post on to her head
    52-year-old taken to hospital and 272 needles were removed from her head
    Housewife is now on antibiotics following painful incident

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..t-her.html

    1. How do we know that porky didn’t JUMP ON PURPOSE?

        1. Headline of the *Week*, at least! Thanks!

        2. The celebrity chef?s bright-yellow Lamborghini was worth $800,000 and was missing for over 18 months

          18 months to find an incredibly rare car? Bang up job, Marin County. That’s why you working class heroes make the big bucks.

          Also, that chick’s not nearly hot enough to commit a felony over.

        3. Holy fuck. Guy Fieri is making that much bank?

          1. He was a successful restauranteur before food network.

      1. So a Brazilian version of the deadly Australian drop bear?

    2. Housewife is now on antibiotics following painful incident

      I’d hope they gave her more than fucking antibiotics.

  27. Male art student poses as his mother in nearly-nude self portraits to highlight how women present themselves ‘in order to feel attractive’

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem…..ctive.html
    Be careful. This cannot be unseen.

    1. No, thank you.

      1. Oh, give it a look, db.

        It’s his senior thesis at New York’s Cooper Union!

        1. I had a good friend in high school, a libertarian/Objectivist, who loved Ayn Rand so much she changed her.middle name to Ayn, who went to Cooper Union. I haven’t kept.in.touch, but I wonder.if her libertarianism survived the experience.

          1. For art or engineering?

    2. Didn’t Norman Bates used to do this?

  28. Three explosions rock Cairo, killing 5

    A massive explosion hit Egyptian police headquarters in downtown Cairo early Friday in the deadliest bomb blast in Egypt’s capital since a military coup ousted Islamist president Mohamed Morsi last summer.

    A car bomb tore through the site around dawn, killing 4 and wounding 76, according to the state new agency MENA.

    I think we all know how this goes…

    1. If they had ubiquitous NSA scrutiny of communications in Egypt this.would have been prevented.

    1. solution: get rid of the staff.

      1. So you’re saying the guards should have to take saltpeter tablets?

        1. Actually more of an Escape from New York scenario.

    2. Huh. I would have guessed higher.

      1. I guess I should add that I did some PREA reporting IT work a while back. Absolutely the most depressing thing I have ever worked on.

    3. They weren’t trained to not rape the inmates, so they need more money for training.

    4. Isn’t this following procedure then?

      1. Totality of the circs!

  29. Emerging market sell-off spills over to Europe, U.S.

    A global flight from emerging market assets gathered pace on Friday, sending the Turkish lira to a record low and setting global shares on course for their worst week this year.

    European shares fell, especially in firms exposed to emerging markets, and a sell-off on Wall Street was poised to extend into a second day as investors worried about the impact of slower growth in China, U.S. monetary policy and political problems in Turkey, Argentina and Ukraine.

    The sell-off raised the prospect of a repeat of moves last June when developing country stocks fell almost 18 percent and hit global shares. This came after the U.S. Federal Reserve signaled its intention to scale back the bond-buying stimulus that had led investors to chase higher returns in emerging market assets.

    1. obviously more QE is needed!

    2. And gold is spiking.

      1. Careful, you may have summoned PB to come tell us about gold as a barbaric relic.

        1. I am but an apprentice plugromancer.

  30. Attorney General Eric Holder hinted that the U.S. is prepared to “engage in conversation”

    Ah, but will it be “*national* conversation”?

    1. Nice. Similar sentiment above thread, behind your timing.

    2. Attorney General Eric Holder hinted that the U.S. is prepared to “engage in conversation”

      And Attorney General Eric Holder can go fuck himself. When any of the ELite Class mentions a “conversation” what they really mean is for the rest of us to sit back and shut up while they tell us what’s what.

  31. A massive explosion hit Egyptian police headquarters in downtown Cairo early Friday

    Are you listening, people of Fullerton? This is how it’s done.

  32. His agenda would focus on: increasing the minimum wage; making college more affordable; infrastructure projects; equal pay for women; and imposing penalties on global competitors for unfair trade practices.

    Come on, Chuck! You left out gun control!

    1. so trade wars and higher taxes.

      😐

      ^shocked face

    2. Gun control doesn’t as obviously slow down an already weakened economy, see.

  33. Ukraine protesters seize building, put up more barricades

    A group of protesters took control of the main agricultural ministry building in the center. “We need the place for our people to warm up,” a local protest leader was quoted as saying by Interfax news agency.

    Meanwhile, radical protesters near Dynamo Kiev football stadium – the new flashpoint in the city – cranked up their action, setting tires ablaze again and sending a pall of black smoke over the area.

    There were no signs that protesters were heeding an appeal from general prosecutor Viktor Pshonka who said early on Friday that those so far arrested would be treated leniently by the courts if protest action was halted.

  34. “Are you listening, people of Fullerton? This is how it’s done.”

    Not that libertarians are violent anarchists.

  35. Why we should subsidise hipster novelists’ housing

    But without writers living in the city, we also risk missing out on that city’s stories being captured on the page. Who hasn’t read a contemporary novel set in Melbourne or Sydney (not that there are many of them) and thrilled with recognition at the places re-imagined, dense with other people’s interior lives? It’s how empathy develops.

    1. I would agree only on one condition: the writer is also a raging heroin addict

      I mean a fix-a-day, whoring him/herself addict.

      1. That is the funniest damn thing I’ve read in a while!

        Favorite part: “For Florida, The Golden Girls completely ruined the reality of Miami’s masculine reputation. It was no longer a city of Scarface and Miami Vice.”

        Scarface? The GG destroyed the bath-tub-chainsaw masculinity that was the pride of Miami!

        1. You’re new here aren’t you?

    2. I give the same answer I did the last time this was posted: They should all become steamboatmen.

    3. A lack of writers living in cities really doesn’t seem to be a problem.

      Anyway, aren’t good writers supposed to starve and suffer for their art?

      1. Good writers don’t need fucking government subsidies. Shit, how many of them had day jobs, at least until (and if) they made it big?

        1. Well, yeah. If you are a good enough writer, someone will pay you to write. If not, you need to be able to do something else.

          1. See, there’s what I like to call a “market” in writing. This market allows people who write something other people like enough to pay for to sell their writings to such people. We even have legal protections for the written works, something I like to call “copyright.”

            It’s not like this is twenty years ago, either, so even getting published by small press/electronic media is relatively easy now. It’s like the most obvious of the arts that doesn’t need subsidizing, since even established authors sometimes still work in other jobs. Scott Turow, for example.

          2. Well, yeah. If you are a good enough writer, someone will pay you to write. If not, you need to be able to do something else.

            But these failed writers see themselves as good writers and have determined that the government should pay them to write.

            1. What’s next, making people buy their books? Making people read them?

              This is the kind of total nonsense that’s helping to permanently fuck up this country.

              1. They don’t care if individuals read what they write. They’re writing for the benefit of HUMANITY.

  36. Attorney General Eric Holder hinted that the U.S. is prepared to “engage in conversation” with whistleblower Edward Snowden to ensure his return from Russia under negotiated terms. No hard feelings, right?

    CNN is reporting that Russia is extending Snowden’s term of asylum.

    Rest assured that this is not coming from any compassion toward Snowden on the part of the DOJ. Nope, this is all about doing what’s best for government and the government knows that Snowden will continue to gain public sympathy and support as long as the government continues to persecute him. Even many of those who don’t support Snowden acknowledge that he is the sole reason for the “much needed” discussion about the surveillance state.

  37. Swedish gangster who claimed he had photos of the king in compromising sexual situations is found dead with four bullet wounds to the head

    Former ‘porn club king’ Mille Markovic shot dead in Stockholm
    Found dead in a car outside his home with four bullet wounds to his head
    Serbian-Swedish gangster had a long history of criminal activity
    Claimed to have photos of King Carl XVI Gustaf with naked strippers

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-head.html
    It’s good to be king.

    1. Not possible. Guns are banned there.

      1. i know it’s snark, but actually Sweden has a pretty healthy rate of gun ownership

        1. Is Sweden the country that allows everyone to own a single rifle should military service be required?

          1. Switzerland, I think. Perhaps our Swiss Servator can chime in.

            1. You’re right. It is Switzerland.

            2. Yes. And it is fun seeing a guy running to catch a train, rifle slung over shoulder. I can only imagine the pants shitting terror this would inspire at Union Station.

          2. No that’s Switzerland and unless things have changed it wasn’t allowed, it was required

          3. I just also want to point out that it is Switzerland.

    2. Killed in a Volvo – what a way to go.

    3. They must have been damn sure that Mille didn’t have a contingency for their release should he end up dead.

    4. Obviously a suicide.

  38. Elementary school classroom aide, 23, suspended after racy modeling photos were sent to staff

    Kaitlin Pearson has been suspended with pay from a Fitchburg, Massachusetts school after the school received the pictures on Friday
    Photographs found easily online show her scantily clad or partially nude for amateur modeling shoots or at sporting events
    The school is investigating whether it interferes with her job and says it may consider online checks of prospective employees in the future

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..staff.html

    Soooooooo not guilty.

    1. My Elementary school teachers were all 2 years from retirement.
      I never got the young grads.

    2. Partially nude? You mean like short-sleeved shirts?

    3. There were “nude” pics, but I didnt see any with nipple showing or anything like that. Topless but arm covering or lying down.

      **shrug**

      Not that real nude pics would matter, but they really, really, really dont matter in this case.

    4. Yeah it would be terrible if kids found out and decided not to skip school in order to see their hot teacher.

      I’m also sure the investigators are really hating their research.

    5. ‘Can you believe that this girl was hired to work with special education children in the Fitchburg schools?!!’

      You mean those children that are constantly perusing racy modeling photos?

  39. The FBI has warned U.S. retailers to prepare for more cyberattacks after discovering about 20 hacking cases in the past year that involved the same kind of malicious software used against Target in the holiday shopping season. As if you needed a better reason to switch to Dogecoin or Coinye West.

    Wait. You mean this costly attack wasn’t prevented by our highly effective NSA cyber terrorism defense force? Oh, nevermind. I forgot. They are way too busy collecting and sifting through all the phone metadata of ordinary citizens to be bothered with trivial stuff like this.

    1. It’s interesting that the attack is focused on POS terminals and networks. Retailers have been worrying much more about their e-commerce transactions and systems.

    2. Most retail terminals are a joke, security-wise, from what I gather. This attack only works on systems using a Windows-embedded OS, that is rarely (if ever) patched. Probably put on the terminals by employees with thumb drives.

  40. Courtney Love appears in court in first ever legal battle to determine if you can libel someone using Twitter

    Courtney Love has taken to the stand in the first ever case of an alleged libel on Twitter going to trial
    The case dates back to a tweet sent by Love in 2010 in which she suggested Rhonda Holmes had been ‘bought off’
    Love, 49, claims she thought she was only tweeting it to two people
    A guilty verdict could have serious implications for all Twitters users regarding defamation laws

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..itter.html

    1. to determine if you can libel someone using Twitter

      I don;t understand these cases. What difference does it make the vehicle used to communicate? Libel is libel. Should it make a difference if it’s paper or plastic? ANalog or digital?

      1. the theory is that some communications, by their nature, could never be taken seriously and therefore not have the tendency of damaging a reputation. Love is arguing Twitter is basically so fucking stupid no-one would take a tweet seriously. Come to that, she could argue she is basically so fucking stupid no-one would take anything she says seriously…

        1. ah, like parody. Plus I think your last point is her best defense 😉

        2. Love is arguing Twitter is basically so fucking stupid no-one would take a tweet seriously.

          She should ask Justine Sacco about that.

      2. Ken White (Popehat) has been doing a pretty good job of mocking people making a big deal out of this case.

  41. Between the individual and the state is your county and they have all the power.

    The Supreme Court of Virginia released its decisions in two cases from York County on Friday, siding with the county in its bid to stop a pair of oyster farmers from using their property…

    The dispute is not over whether the two are allowed to collect oysters on the water as that matter is regulated by the state, which has approved of their operations. The debate centers on a small part of their operations, when the oysters are removed from boats and transported on land owned by the men to vehicles. York County has jurisdiction over [their waterfront property].

    http://wydaily.com/2014/01/03/…..r-farmers/

    Will they appeal to the Supreme Court?

    “I think it would be fruitless,” he said. “The Supreme Court decided that we can have a commercial pig farm, but not an oyster farm. There are a lot of losers in this split decision and only one winner. The environment loses. The Chesapeake Bay loses. Seafood lovers lose. And people who care about growing their food locally lose.”

    Then bring on the stinkin’ pig farm and fuck the bay and fuck your neighbors.

  42. ‘Vindictive … p***k’ Chris Christie accused of THIRD political revenge act as Democrats say he shut down urban DMV office because they opposed him

    Elizabeth, NJ lost its Motor Vehicle Commission office at the end of 2010, leaving locals without a place for licenses and vehicle tags
    The city’s largely poor, black population was left in the lurch, the town’s mayor says, because he and two state lawmakers ran afoul of Gov. Christie
    The three Democratic politicians opposed Christie’s first election as governor, and later pushed back against a plan to cap property tax hikes
    The ‘Bridgegate’ scandal sounds familiar now as Elizabeth residents have to go miles away and wait in hours-long lines
    A state assemblyman calls the situation the ‘same thing’ as Christie’s alleged punishment of another mayor with traffic jams in September
    ‘There was no logical reason to do it,’ he says, ‘other than to be a vindictive ? I don’t want to use the word “p***k” ? but a vindictive individual’

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..d-him.html
    Bengazi is a fake scandal. As is the IRS. And that ‘Fast and Furious’ nonsense. That stuff is all fake. This is what really matters.

    1. No doubt the lesson here will fly right over the head of the statists. If only we just had the right TOP MAN in charge, all would be fine.

    2. Why is anyone surprised by any of this? Christie is a politician IN NEW JERSEY I thought we all knew that this was going on? But then again we’ve reelected a Chicago politician twice. I guess we’re a sucker for hucksters.

      1. Fatboy is the anointed GOP saviour for 2016. The bigshits in the GOP don’t won’t some Southern-fried hick and the pickings are slim after Christie.

        The Huckster is ready to pounce though.

        1. OMG you’re stupid. I mean, so stupid it just hurts.

          1. Translation = every word rings true and you know it.

            1. Uh, no. Christie lost the nomination when he fellated Obama in the wake of Sandy. Moron.

    3. Why shouldn’t Dems try the Bengahzi treatment on Christie? It is being done to Hil-Dog every day for 18 months now.

      1. If 4 people, including the US Ambassador, die from one of his scandals I am sure he will get the same treatment: Silence from the MSM. [NOT]

      2. Really, wouldn’t the nick “Obama’s Buttplug” be so much more appropriate?

        1. Maybe Obama’s cockring.

      3. I’m just waiting for Christie to say at his next presser re: these scandals:

        “What difference, at this point, does it make”

    4. Elizabeth, NJ lost its Motor Vehicle Commission office at the end of 2010, leaving locals without a place for licenses and vehicle tags

      Because having to drive an extra 15 minutes to get to the DMV is a cross none of us should have to bear.

    1. Easy, if it ends well and you get a second outing it was a date. If it ends poorly you were just hanging out.

  43. S&W joins Ruger in California “FU”

    Perhaps microstamping of shell casings will lead to macrostamping of feet.

    1. I sometimes wonder how big of a fuck you this is. After all if people stop selling guns to Californians isn’t that just giving the fascists what they want?

      1. Good point.

        Bullshit requirements produce de facto bans.

      2. Look at it this way–when the Day of the Rope arrives, the coastal areas should be relatively easy to conquer. I doubt the inland areas will shed too many tears over that happening.

    2. My question, will they still sell to police in CA (who I imagine are exempt from the requirements)?

  44. Police: Grow house suspect wanted to smoke joint before arrest

    The Polk County Sheriff’s Office said deputies executed a search warrant Tuesday at the suspected grow house in Poinciana and resident David Scott Shultz, 32, refused to open the door for deputies when they identified themselves and told him why they were there, Tampa (Fla.) cable news outlet Bay News 9 reported Thursday.

    The sheriff’s office said deputies could smell the odor of marijuana through the door and Shultz told them he wanted to smoke a joint before letting them come inside.

    Shultz eventually opened the door and deputies discovered 190 marijuana plants being grown in three rooms of the house.

    1. Might as well. It’s not like the punishment would be worse (assuming the cops don’t murder him for making them wait.)

  45. That smile says it all! A beaming Lorde touches down in Los Angeles ahead of the Grammy awards

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..wards.html
    That is one unattractive female! Yikes!

    1. Seventeen. Wait until they make her over next year for her “adult” album.

      1. According to the article she’s besties with Taylor Swift, so you can imagine what the adult album will be like. Except, as a Kiwi, she’ll be singing about the sheep she just split up with

        1. I laughed.

      1. This.

        I thought she was an oldster until I looked at the text.

        1. It’s a long flight from NZ.

  46. I thought that only Asian vaginas could smile…

    Stay of execution for vagina mural at Swedish middle school

    The Nykoping office of children, youth and cultural affairs said last week the colorful painting of a smiling vagina by Gothenburg artist Carolina Falkholt would be painted over at the Tessin middle school, but officials have backed off the earlier announcement and said they will invite public debate about the issue before the artwork is removed, TheLocal.se reported Thursday.

    The reversal came after members of the public, including Tessin school Principal Harke Steenbergen, voiced support for Falkholt and the mural’s continued presence at the school, which caters to students between the ages of 13 and 15.

    1. Somebody should paint a mural of a smiling penis and see how everybody reacts.

    2. Steenbergen said he liked the mural and “its message.”

      Steenbergen, you DOG!

    3. Here’s an article with a photo of the mural.

      1. The one foot looks like a tentacle.

  47. The cat with an extra trick up its sleeve: Adorable footage of a Scottish Fold kitten hanging out in the arm of a jacket

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..leeve.html
    Warning! Warning! Weapons grade cuteness! Warning!
    (Had to make up for posting Lorde and Love)

  48. WASHINGTON ? Attorney General Eric Holder says the Obama administration is planning to roll out regulations soon that would allow banks to do business with legal marijuana sellers.

    During an appearance Thursday at the University of Virginia, Holder said it is important from a law enforcement perspective to enable places that sell marijuana to have access to the banking system so they don’t have large amounts of cash lying around.

    Currently, processing money from marijuana sales puts federally insured banks at risk of drug racketeering charges.

    Because of the threat of criminal prosecution, financial institutions often refuse to let marijuana-related businesses open accounts.

    Read more: Eric Holder: Marijuana banking regulations on the way – The Denver Post http://www.denverpost.com/nati…..z2rKK5ZeDZ
    Read The Denver Post’s Terms of Use of its content: http://www.denverpost.com/termsofuse
    Follow us: @Denverpost on Twitter | Denverpost on Facebook

    1. Baby steps, I guess.

      I would like to see the IRS liberalize their policy disallowing business expenses.

      1. “Baby steps”, nothing.

        This is a *trap*.

        1. Then bitcoin. Fuck the banks.

    2. Palin’s Buttplug|1.24.14 @ 9:37AM|#
      “WASHINGTON ? Attorney General Eric Holder says the Obama administration is planning to roll out regulations soon that would allow banks to do business with legal marijuana sellers.”

      How, WONDERFUL! Your fave liars consider actually following the law as defined by the state!
      And I’m sure you find this to be a reason to go lick some more sweat off of them after a workout in the gym, right?
      Pathetic.

  49. “Attorney General Eric Holder hinted that the U.S. is prepared to ‘engage in conversation’ with whistleblower Edward Snowden to ensure his return from Russia under negotiated terms.”

    Something tells me those negotiated terms include imprisonment.

    1. That’s what I was thinking too. And once he’s here (assuming he’d come back) who’s to say those “terms” wouldn’t suddenly change. If I were him I’d stay the heck away from any US Jurisdiction.

      1. And once he’s here (assuming he’d come back) who’s to say those “terms” wouldn’t suddenly change.

        Terms don’t matter if you’re dead.

        1. All this snark is unfair. Holder fully intends to allow Snowden to choose the form of the Destructor that will kill him.

      2. And pray I don’t alter it any further.

  50. After all if people stop selling guns to Californians isn’t that just giving the fascists what they want?

    I’m not sure that’s what they really want; for all the work they do to vilify cigarettes, they need that stream of income they get from their profit-sharing arrangement with the cigarette makers.

    1. I’m not sure that’s what they really want; for all the work they do to vilify cigarettes, they need that stream of income they get from their profit-sharing arrangement with the cigarette makers.

      I agree. I don’t think that gun grabbers really want to grab guns so much demonize those who use them. For then it’s a cultural issue, which is why, when they talk about guns they always point towards red necks and the NRA as the enemy instead of good inner city democrat voting blacks that are responsible for the lion’s share of gun crime in America.

  51. “We know our economy is stronger when an honest day’s work is rewarded with a fair wage,” Farrell said.

    Because nothing is more likely to increase economic activity like forcibly disemploying anyone whose productivity is less than $12 per hour plus benefits.

    1. And we’ve known since 1776 that nothing makes sure the work and the wage are in synch than leaving the government out of it.

    2. I have some $8 stock I’d like to sell Farrell for $12/share.

      1. It’ll strengthen the economy!

  52. Eating Haribo sugarless gummy bears leads to “calamitous flatulence and sudden bowel evacuation”. Allegedly.

    1. It’s true, ifh.

      I know an old guy who, having been gifted with a box of sugarless candy, devoured the whole thing in one sitting. He paid the price.

      And, no, it was not SugarFree.

      1. That’s what so stupid about it. People gorge themselves on candy and then act surprised when they get colon cannon.

        The only thing the reviews confirm is that people are idiots.

      1. Yep.

        “It’s a sweetener!”
        “It’s a laxative!”
        “It’s a sweetener!”
        “It’s a laxative!”
        There also used to be ads for it in High Times in the 1980’s. Although why anyone reading that would want a relatively safe white powder for is beyond me.

    2. The exact moment I realized journalism was too far gone to save was when I saw an article in The New York Times profiling a woman who makes Youtube videos consisting of herself farting repeatedly, for the enjoyment of…whatever sort of person enjoys that sort of thing.

      Apparently, according to this woman, and I thank God every day for the diligent reporters at the paper of record who pound the pavement to bring us this news, the secret to the best farts is sugarless candy.

  53. And we’ve known since 1776 that nothing makes sure the work and the wage are in synch than leaving the government out of it.

    But JOBZ!

    Think of the opportunities for freshly-minted “economists” in the Ministry of Plenty, setting wages for millions of job titles. We’ll be barreling down a luxuriously paved road in no time.

  54. “We know our economy is stronger when an honest day’s work is rewarded with a fair wage.”

    “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

    And by “that word”, I mean every fucking word in your utterance.

  55. Christie lost the nomination when he fellated Obama in the wake of Sandy.

    One of Obama’s crack Chicago dogwashers (ostensibly a financial wizard of some sort, who spends all his time blathering about politics for some reason) was on Bloomberg earlier, talking about how the Republicans need to put up a serious candidate like Christie, who will not shy away from serious bipartisan consensus. He probably said some other equally retarded stuff, but I changed the channel.

  56. Michigan – the 24th state to adopt Right to Work laws, introduces legislation this week that would make state bar membership voluntary. From the State Bar of Michigan blog:

    The sponsor, Sen. Arlan Meekhof, told reportersthat the State Bar had become “more of a political organization.”
    http://sbmblog.typepad.com/sbm…..ntary.html

  57. C(crybaby)IC: Messaging!! Teathuglicans!!

    “The issue has been the inability of my message to penetrate the Republican base so that they feel persuaded that I’m not the caricature that you see on Fox News or Rush Limbaugh, but I’m somebody who is interested in solving problems and is pretty practical, and that, actually, a lot of the things that we’ve put in place worked better than people might think,” Obama said.

    1. “My incompetence is merely an illusion that really, really smart people can warp their perceptions of reality to avoid seeing.”

    2. The issue has been the inability of my message to penetrate the Republican base so that they feel persuaded that I’m not the caricature that you see on Fox News or Rush Limbaugh

      They’re just taking your cues, El Jefe, or did you not call those in Flyover Country holdover from a different time unwilling to give up their god and their guns?

      When you draw characters for a living in order to get everything you have, don’t be surprised when someone makes a caricature of you.

      1. If Romney had the balls to say what you just said in a debate, he’d have won the election.

  58. Michigan – the 24th state to adopt Right to Work laws, introduces legislation this week that would make state bar membership voluntary.

    It’s all fun and games until your eye is the one getting shot out.

  59. 3 “I’s” and a “me” in one sentence. Can you believe the audacity of those people from the opposite party not “compromising” with him? I mean, this whole idea of an adversarial, checks and balances system is not fair!

    “I think probably, just from a purely political point of view, the bigger challenge that I’ve had has to do with the fact that there is a core group of Republican House members in particular who know that I lost their districts by twenty-five or thirty points, and that there is a Republican base of voters for whom compromise with me is a betrayal,” Obama said.

    1. How does one compromise with a corrupt and pathologically dishonest person? Who doesn’t negotiate in the first place?

      1. And how does he spend five years as President and learn nothing about his opponents and apparently still see obligation to compromise?

      2. How does one compromise with a corrupt and pathologically dishonest person?

        This.

        Obama is a sociopath who kills Americans based on his decision alone. He’s a murderer and in a just world would be tarred and feathered and towed in a cart through town.

    2. The vertical pronoun is the guy’s fave letter!

    3. The same people who are constantly telling their opponents and most of America that they need to ask themselves “why does (insert various ethnic or foreign group here) hate me?” never ask the question themselves.

      Obama seems completely incapable of any kind of self reflection or criticism. It never occurs to him that maybe he could have done something to reach out to his opponents. That maybe as President it is part of his job to ensure that everyone in the country feels that the President at least takes their views into account and that it is his job to bring the various sides together.

      He has been President for five years and has managed divide the country more deeply than it has been since the 1960s. And in his mind none of that is his fault. Obama cannot take any responsibility for anything that happens. It is forever someone else’ fault for keeping him from doing his job.

      He really has a vulgar and crude mind. The world is totally black and white and he is forever without fault for anything bad that happens. The irony of that in contrast to how his supporters spent 8 years talking about how George Bush couldn’t see nuance is pretty stunning.

      1. He, it’s not his fault he didn’t properly foster relationships with the Congressthings:

        “In bonus excerpts from an interview with The New Yorker’s David Remnick, Obama conceded that there was “no doubt that personal relationships matter at the margins and can tip something over the finish line,” and admitted that he “wasn’t in a position to work the social scene in Washington” as the father of two young girls.”

        1. and admitted that he “wasn’t in a position to work the social scene in Washington” as the father of two young girls.”

          Because he never took any time playing golf or having huge celebrity attended parties at the White House.

          The man who has played more rounds of golf in five years than Clinton and Bush II did in 16 years now claims, he was just too busy being a father to work with Congress. Are Shalia and Mao Mao or whatever their names training for the LPGA tour?

          How big of a toady must have that interviewer been not to have laughed in Obama’s face when he said that?

          1. That’s why Lincoln was never able to get anything done – he had two young boys (plus two older children), and one of the young boys (Willie) died in 1862, which pretty much prevented Lincoln from doing anything important in that year.

            1. Nixon didn’t know about the Watergate break ins and all of the rest of it because he was just so busy planning his daughter’s wedding.

            2. That whole polio thing basically made FDR unable to get anything done inCongress or foreign policy.

      2. He has been President for five years and has managed divide the country more deeply than it has been since the 1960s. And in his mind none of that is his fault. Obama cannot take any responsibility for anything that happens. It is forever someone else’ fault for keeping him from doing his job.

        Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing President Not-My-Fault.

  60. Outlawing employers may cost jobs!!!!!
    “S.F.’s tough rules on chain stores costing jobs, some say”
    […]
    “San Francisco’s increasingly tough restrictions on chain stores may be good news for the city’s shop owners and small business operators, but other residents worry those rules are costing their communities jobs.”
    Hey, it’s easy to mine this sort of tripe from a rag like the Chron!
    http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/…..170154.php

    1. Remember, regulations have absolutely no effect on employers unless it is an abortion clinic.

  61. Andrew Cuomo, champion of liberty, attempts to intimidate O’Keefe.

    “Governor Cuomo’s shocking words this past week aren’t simply words,” O’Keefe said in a statement. “Governor Cuomo and the New York Department of Labor are on a witch hunt, demanding all documents and financials since our founding. … His goal, of course, is to harass us and limit our effectiveness by tying us up in court. Just like President Obama used the IRS to target and suppress conservatives, Governor Cuomo is using his Department of Labor to do the same exact thing.”

    A spokesman for the state labor office told The Daily Beast that it is legally required to ensure businesses pay their part of an unemployment insurance fund and provide information about outside contractors.

    Requests for comment from FoxNews.com to the Department of Labor and governor’s office have not yet been returned.

    1. This is what fascism looks like. They are just not quite as violent as old school fascists. Instead of throwing a fire bomb through his window, they send Kafkaesque bureaucrats to effectively do the same thing.

      Since they have managed to create so many laws that virtually anyone is a criminal, they don’t need to break legs anymore. They can just use the levers of government to intimidate or if necessary send their opponents to jail.

    2. Why in the world would you think the guy who brought down ACORN and tapped a Senator’s office would intimidate? It irks me that you have to have a lobotomy to get elected to statewide or federal office, apparently.

      1. Nepotism. IN the not too distant future, the Kennedys, Cuomos, Bushes, Clintons and Obamas will breed with each other and become our Overlords.

        1. We tried that. Don’t the teach anyone about the Merovigians and Pepin anymore? Inbreeding is not a way of conserving the qualities that lead men to become powerful.

  62. Do people in the hallways of y’all’s offices walk around fixated on the floor? It’s always puzzled me why at least 1/2 the people I see on my way to the cafeteria don’t walk with their heads up. And I’m not talking about people on their smartphones. Just people walking and looking downcast.

    1. Some people fear eye contact.

    2. Don’t you work for the government? That could be a key indicator of why they look so downtrodden.

    3. My theory is it’s shallowness combined with insecurity, as most of them appear to be trying to see how their clothes look. Why they don’t just stop in a bathroom and look in the mirror, I can’t figure out.

    4. It’s a way to avoid work. Every boss keeps a pile of shit to do on his/her desk, and if you’re foolish enough to walk into his/her office or make eye contact on the way to the break room, you will be shat upon.

      I once had a very tall co worker and I would walk next to him stride for stride whenever I had to walk past my boss’s office.

      1. People want to skip unnecessary and empty small talk as they go from one place to another. As Jerry Seinfeld suggested, the best solution to this is to skip the “How’s it going?” and subsequent empty prose and go straight to–

        Person #1: “Acknowledge.”

        Person #2: “Acknowledge.”

        [Then they go their separate ways.]

        1. A smile and a nod is good. I hate “how’s it going?” Are you actually asking me, or just saying “hi”?

          1. I believe whether it’s a sincere question or not depends on how the hearer answers.

        2. Remember Costanza’s theory about always having an annoyed look on your face at work, because it makes people think you’re busy.

      2. Around here, people love to get facetime with their bosses.

      3. Huh. Our trick was always to carry a piece of paper in your hand and walk like you were in a hurry. Even if you were going to the shitter or to smoke. That way nobody stops you.

        1. Yes, I never walked anywhere without a bunch of paper, notepad or manila folder.

    5. I occasionally do that when I really don’t feel like making small talk. But usually I act like a normal human being. We had a few weirdo engineers for a while who did that, but they are gone now.

    6. Often, when I’m thinking about a problem and have to take a bathroom break, I will try to avoid unnecessary contact in the hall so I can get back to my problem with minimal.interruption. it takes a bit for.me to get my mental train rolling again when I my thoughts get broken up.

    7. Just people walking and looking downcast.

      What is there to be happy about these days? The country is being destroyed before our very eyes.

      1. “They mostly just cried. You’ve got a real morale problem, you know.”

    8. Just people walking and looking downcast.

      What is there to be happy about these days? The country is being destroyed before our very eyes.

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