A.M. Links: White House Preparing For Exodus of Aides, Snowden Invited To Testify Before European Parliament, Rodman Visits North Korean Ski Resort

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Credit: Tuomas Venhola / Foter.com / CC BY-SA
  • The White House is preparing for a number of longtime aides to leave in the next few months.
  • Dennis Rodman's public relations firm released an apology on his behalf for his comments about an American currently being held in North Korea. The former NBA player has traveled to a multimillion-dollar ski resort in North Korea with Kim Jong-un.
  • NSA whistle-blower Edward Snowden has been invited to testify before a European Parliament committee via video link as part of its investigation into U.S. surveillance.
  • CFOs are blaming Obamacare for increases in health care costs, which they are passing along to employees.
  • San Francisco has outlined plans to tax tech companies such as Google and Facebook if they want to keep using private shuttles to transport their employees to work.
  • An 88-year-old German man has been charged with taking part in the Nazi massacre in the French village Oradour-sur-Glane.

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  1. NSA whistle-blower Edward Snowden has been invited to testify before a European Parliament committee via video link as part of its investigation into U.S. surveillance.

    Talk about a huge middle finger to Obama.

    1. Hello.

      1. Now which one are you agian?

        1. Yeah, what is with these 2 Rufus commentators? Which one is the Canadian?

          1. Rufus Jedidiah or Rufus Jeremiah?

          2. I’m the fucking Canadian.

            RUFUS J. FIREFLY.

            I’ve only been here a couple of years commenting.

            1. me too…

              I am awful with names though

            2. What is a Canada?

              1. All you have to know is it is better than ‘Merica in every metric.. or so my fellow Canadians have told me..

                1. Yeah.

                  Better at saying we’re better at shit.

                  1. We are quite good at it.. and talking about how full of itself America is.

                2. All you have to know is it is better than ‘Merica in every metric.. or so my fellow Canadians have told me..

                  So that why, despite having a land mass at least as large as the US, there are only about as many people as live in California.

                  1. Because the top half is not livable.

                    “Most of the Canadian population lives in a narrow corridor at the southern part of the country, near the American border….62% of the population lived in Quebec and Ontario, the two largest provinces.”

                    The vast polar expanses of the Northwest Territories, Yukon and Nunavut represent 40% of the continental mass of Canada and are much less populated. Their inhabitants make up just 0.3% of the population.”

                    From the Canuckian gov website.

                    http://jaymans.files.wordpress…..p1-eng.gif

                    1. I understand that, but even the liveable part is much larger than California.

                3. In America, we use the English system, not metric.

                  1. Called the Imperial system, at least over here

                4. Including limited use of metric.

              2. A Canada is a group of huts.

                1. Don’t you mean igloos?

                  1. Yes. Igloos.

                    I’m gonna marry a carrot.

                    /Lisa Simpson.

          3. I am a proud Kryptonian

            1. Can the Two Rufusesesesseeess just arm wrestle or something?

              1. No, one must become RJ.

              2. I have figured it out. The plural of Rufus is Rufii. We’re all being Ruffied by these two…at least that’s how I explain the strange sensation I feel in my seat after reading morning links the last few days.

                1. Hm.

                  Rufii.

                  Makes me think of a Germanic or Italic tribe.

                  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Italy

                  1. I was roofied once.

                2. I think Rufii is the plural of Rufius. So the plural of Rufus would just be Rufi.

              3. http://www.dvddrive-in.com/rev…..oheads.htm

                Posted yesterday.

            2. I think Firefly has dibs on the Rufus J. name.

              I’d be pissed if a Smilin’ Jim Fission showed up.

              1. I’m the original Oreo.

                1. I’m the original Oreo.

                  Ironically oreo was the knockoff of Hydrox

                  ( citation )

                  1. Growing up, my best friend had a black and white cat named Hydrox.

              2. What about Smilin’ Joe Fusion?

                1. Or how about Frowning Jim Combustion?

                  1. How about Prompt Critical Joe?

                    1. +1 radioactive man to all of you

                    2. My name is the nuclear power plant and Springfield baseball team mascot from the Simpsons though.. in case no one else here was inspired to enter the nuclear field by Homer Simpson….

                    3. I was a NukE before the Simpsons got started.

                      It was my junior year, in fact. The Smilin’ Joe Fission episode occurred while I was taking Reactor Physics I.

                    4. Sweet Sally Solar?

                    5. Willing Wendy Wind

                      It’ll really put a charge in your day when she blows

              3. Good Morning!

                1. What have I done….

                  1. Gamboling George Geothermal?

          4. Interesting, I only now just realized their were 2.

        2. “I was a Drell. I was a Drifter. I was a Coaster. I was part of The Gang. I was a Bar-Kay… If they come through Texas, I done played with them.”

    2. Obama just needs to get his message out better to the people of Europe.

      1. No video feeds for him, though. Fire up AF1!

        1. Can’t he just drone the European heads of government? Granted, it’s technically an act of war….

          1. And since someone attacked our NATO allies, we’d be obligated to go to war with ourselves!

            1. Now, *that’s* a “kinetic action”!

            2. Well, we already occupy ourselves so it should only take a few hours of bombing before we surrender.

              1. And after the surrender comes the insurgency, because any US occupation these days triggers an insurgency.

            3. Stimulus!

            4. That’s a hell of a way to retroactively earn his Nobel Peace Prize.

  2. Did Rodman break his pelvis?

  3. Dallas hunting club receives death threats over plan to auction permit to kill black rhino despite insisting all proceeds will go towards CONSERVATION efforts
    FBI reviewing multiple threats made against members of Dallas Safari Club
    The club plans to auction the permit, granted by Namibia, on Saturday
    A dozen threatening messages sent by email and posted on club website
    Executive director Ben Carter said the permit could fetch as much as $1m
    Only 4,000 black rhinos remain in the wild, down from 70,000 in the 1960s

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..rhino.html
    The great irony is that killing these poor animals for sport is the best way to save them from extinction.

    1. The great irony is that killing these poor animals for sport is the best way to save them from extinction.

      As it is with any large mammal that isn’t tame or tasty.

    2. Imagine that. The private hunting preserves have much better incentives to keep a healthy population of the large animals going than parks do. They really are the way that things like elephants and rhinos are going to be saved.

      A big proportion of progressives/environmentalists/hippies seem to want the world to be a museum.

      1. If we can save even ONE black rhino…

      2. A big proportion of progressives/environmentalists/hippies seem to want the world to be a museum.

        They don’t intend for all those animals to die! They want them to live! But how can these animals live if people are killing them? You can’t let people kill them! You must let them live! How can the result of the incentives created by hunters wanting to have animals to kill be more animals? Their intention is to kill them, not to have a healthy population! It doesn’t make sense!

        1. I can actually see how a lot of people might not understand it that way. It does require some limber and open-minded thinking though, which bleeding hearts just don’t have time for.

          This game preserve example may end up being a solid go-to to help friends understand the concept of incentives.

          1. Yep. It’s very simple.

            Hunters who want to hunt particular animals can’t hunt those particular animals if that animal is extinct.

            1. I’m sure the average proggy thinks hunters are all ignorant rednecks who are too stupid to do anything but kill, kill, kill.

              1. Ignorant rednecks who can simultaneously afford to go on an African safari to the tunes of several tens of thousands of dollars a pop. Walmart must be paying better than we thought.

  4. Dennis Rodman’s public relations firm released an apology on his behalf for his comments about an American currently being held in North Korea.

    Shocking. Dennis Rodman actually employs a PR firm?

  5. ‘Don’t be fooled. I am huge!’: Controversial Fox anchor Megyn Kelly admits she got an ‘ego check’ when nobody on Jeopardy knew who she was
    Jeopardy host Alex Trebek asked, ‘File’ this blonde anchor and lawyer under Fox News where she hosts a show weekdays from 9 to 10 p.m’
    One contestant incorrectly guessed Nancy Grace and the rest were stumped
    Megyn Kelly laughed about the situation and said, ‘There’s always something to keep your ego in check’
    Megyn Kelly was under fire recently for saying Santa and Jesus were ‘just white’

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..s-was.html
    Well, duh! Nobody smart enough to get on Jeopardy watches FOUX News!

    1. My ex-wife lost on Jeopardy. That is all.

      1. Weird Al wrote a song about her.

          1. “One More Minute” ring a bell?

            1. Sorry, the Weird Al spoof on that one was “Eat it.” And all responses must be phrased in the form of a question.

              1. Yes, I am become suck today.

                1. It’s OK, you can go home with a gift from the studio.

                  1. It’s a DVD of Alex Trebek singing in the shower!

                  2. Don Pardo, tell ’em what they won!

            2. Good enough for now?

    2. Is she really controversial, or is it just that the rest of the Media Class doesn’t like Fox News?

      1. I think controversial because of the white Santa and Jesus comments.

      2. Megyn Kelly was great on a long Howard Stern interview. Howard is the best interviewer around although she dodged the lesbian sex and political party questions.

        1. Howard is the best interviewer around…

          If you’ve got the maturity of a thirteen year old boy.

          1. Well, those are the two things I wanted to know about and Howard pressed her on them. She is pro-choice and rumored to be a closet liberal by the Fox people.

            When I was out in the dating world I wanted to know the same two things. Liberal and bi? Fuck yeah!

            1. So you’ve got the maturity if a thirteen year old boy. Then again we already knew that.

              1. She is only interesting because she is attractive and on Fox News.

                I stand by my predilection.

              2. The intellectual ability of a 13-year-old boy as well, given how easy it is to show him up with government data.

    3. Megyn Kelly was under fire recently for saying Santa and Jesus were ‘just white’

      Though she’s not purposefully correct, she is incidentally correct. Racially speaking, middle easterners are every bit as caucasian as Scandinavians. And being that St Nick was Greek, he too is every bit as white as Megyn Kelly wants him to be.

  6. The White House is preparing for a number of longtime aides to leave in the next few months.

    I think Chigago is about to see the return of a lot of native sons.

    1. May they founder in a thousand deep dishes.

    2. Departures of longtime and trusted West Wing aides will force Obama to go outside his comfort zone in seeking advisers.

      Probably not. Anyway, Obama will still have Biden’s counsel.

      1. I’m sure he can find plenty of sychophantic clones to take their places.

        1. Clowns, you mean.

          1. Yes. How silly of me.

      2. As long as Valerie stays, he’s got all the advice he needs.

      3. It’s usually called a “purge”. Or “rats leaving a sinking ship”.

    3. So it only takes 5 years on the national stage to become a made man?

    1. Chemistry is for the extremely cautious and the severely burned.

    2. It was always a welcome sight when the hash oil man came to Lexington. You could feel him approaching as the days grew short and a chill crept into the air. On some random day in late October he would appear, hitching a ride down out of the mountains with a gallon jug of hash oil in his filthy backpack, a demented grin on his face. We often found him in the parking lot behind Big Daddy’s liquor store, selling bottlecaps full of hash oil for $5. We’d each get one and stumble back to our apartment, giggling. We’d smear it along cigarettes or joints; we’d use aluminum foil straws to chase the dragon’s tail as it bubbled away in a bent spoon over a Zippo; we’d mix it with shake and load it into bong. That’s what fall is to me: a lazy curl of hash oil smoke rising while fallen leaves rustle gently outside.

      1. That’s the voiceover at the start of a charming coming-of-age movie

        1. Ricky Scaggs needs to write the score.

            1. I owe you a drink for that link, sarc.

            2. Jon Anderson?

              I’ll have to watch this later.

            3. Good stuff. Thanks.

      2. I’ve only seen the stuff once. My junior year in high school. That was a good year.

      3. Hash oil, good as it is, is nowhere near as good as bubble hash. And no need for chemicals and cooking shit in a lab.

    3. Of course, we wouldn’t have these home labs for the most part if it weren’t for the War on Drugs….

  7. She’s so Bella: Miss Thorne looks older than her years as she steps out in silver sequin mini dress

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..dress.html
    Youth is wasted on the young.

    1. That girl is a statutory rape charge waiting to happen because looking at her it would never occur to me that she was under 21 forget under 18

      1. All you’ve have to do is talk with her for ten seconds and her age would become very apparent.

        1. She may be looking pretty haggard in a few years.

      2. Careful. This comment is straight-up Plopper-bait.

  8. Scottish man sentenced for grinding and talking dirty to drink trolley on train

    Andrew Davidson yelled, “I want to kiss you, I want to f— you” as he made his moves on the trolley before rubbing his chest, sticking out his tongue and yelling about what he wanted to do to his boyfriend, U.K. Metro reported.

    His behaviour disturbed a staff member so much, she left the train at a stop.

    1. OK, I’ll do it:

      “What is a ‘drink trolley’ in American?”

      1. You know those carts that bring the drinks when you are on an airliner?

      2. It’s a cart from which drinks are sold/dispensed.

        1. So … a drink trolley can have a boyfriend?

          1. Anything with a receptacle can have a boyfriend…at least for a few minutes.

            1. yelling about what he wanted to do to his boyfriend

              Oh, *Davidson’s* boyfriend!

              Never mind.

          2. a drink trolley can *be* the boyfriend, is how I read it.

    2. Bill O’Reilly warned you all. Allow same-sex marriage and you’re going to have people wanting to marry carts.

      1. Well it’s better he makes an honest homeware out of it than just rutting in sin

      2. Not carts. Maybe androids.

  9. Ex-US Marine, 33, ‘killed his stepfather with an ATOMIC WEDGIE that strangled him with his underwear’
    Brad Davis, 33, allegedly told police he killed his stepfather by pulling his underpants over his head
    Denver Lee St. Clair was found dead in his Oklahoma home on December 21
    He died from blunt force trauma to the head and asphyxiation
    Cops found St. Clair dead with his underpants’ waistband around his head and neck
    His death has been ruled a homicide

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..EDGIE.html

    1. There are no ex-marines. Once a marine, always a marine! 😉

      1. What about dishonorable discharge? Honest question.

        1. That’s when you’re not psychitic enough to be a marine – or take it out on fellow marines.

      2. Any of you maggots know where he learned to Atomic Wedgie like that?

        1. Sir, in the Marines, Sir!

        2. “You will give your wedgie a girl’s name!”

    2. Denver Lee St. Clair is some name.

  10. Hitler’s Mein Kampf tops bestselling ebooks charts as curious readers discreetly download taboo manifesto ‘like smut and romance novels’
    Writer Chris Faraone argues the racist tome’s popularity is akin to that of Fifty Shades of Grey
    Mein Kampf has been on top iTunes and Amazon downloads lists for years

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..ovels.html

    1. You know who else liked to read Mein Kampf?

      1. Hitler?

        1. Dammit Rufus, you just Godwinned the thread

          1. As a writer I’d like to say that you have to read what you’re writing, and if you’re going to finish it, you should probably like to read it.

    2. How can you tell if someone is discreetly downloading something?

      Is this supposed to be some sort of sinister trend? Seems quite natural to wonder about the motivations of someone like Hitler and try to find out more about it.

      1. If it were free, I’d think about downloading it just to piss off the proggies.

        1. There are some political parties who’ll give it away for free.

      2. I suspect most of the downloads are evil geniuses bent on world domination, looking for some tips on mass public hypnosis. Or maybe that’s just me.

  11. CFOs are blaming Obamacare for increases in health care costs, which they are passing along to employees.

    Greedy bastards. TAKE THE HIT YOURSELVES.

  12. Huge sunspot greets 2014.

    The connection between sunspots and earth’s climate is becoming stronger every day. Is it possible this sunspot had some role in the recent ‘polar vortex’?

    1. Wait. Are… are you suggesting that the sun has something to do with the Earth’s climate? BURN THE HERETIC!

    2. Our spaceshots are causing solar warming!

    3. Is it possible this sunspot had some role in the recent ‘polar vortex’?

      Probably not!

      The mechanism by which solar magnetic fields alter the Earth’s climate is thought to be via affecting cloud formation (and thus how much cloud cover the Earth has).

      The polar vortex is actually the product of fluid dynamics on a rotating spherical shell. Essentially, if a low pressure zone migrates to the pole, it will stabilize there, and convey cold air from high in the stratosphere down to the surface at the pole and then push it down to lower latitudes.

      IIRC Saturn has one that has been stable ever since humanity first was capable of observing it.

      Polar vortexes on Earth, however, are unstable and generally break up within a few weeks. I’m not sure why.

      1. Polar vortexes on Earth, however, are unstable and generally break up within a few weeks. I’m not sure why.

        It’s due to the scale of the planet, its rotation, and the composition and thickness of the atmosphere. Jupiter has very stable bands of atmospheric rotation, as you mentioned for Saturn. On Earth we have relatively stable trade winds, but since Earth is smaller and the atmosphere is thin, the interaction amongst the bands is greater and they break up. A polar vortex is merely the spot that is at the top/bottom of the sphere.

        Yes, solar magnetic fields alter Earth’s climate by interacting with its magnetic field and initiating/inhibiting cloud formation. This is the slow mechanism that affects climate.

        But sunspots are also sources of huge magnetic storms that eject great masses of ionized matter. These ions reach the earth in a few days and could upset the atmosphere, particularly at the poles. The auroras (which BTW are peaking tonight) are evidence of this impact.

        Neutrinos that move near the speed of light that are ejected during the storm would reach the Earth in only 8 minutes. So a mechanism exists that could connect the two events.

        I wonder if anyone has made a study of a correlation between severe cold (polar vortex) events and the aurora (as an indicator of solar storms).

    4. Is it possible this sunspot had some role in the recent ‘polar vortex’?

      Doubtful. The polar vortex reaching so far south is probably just weather being weather.

      But who cares what the weather is doing? Global average temperature is persistently below the predictions made by all the IPCC-approved models over the last 20 years. This is the only evidence we need that the models are incomplete and can’t be trusted.

      1. But who cares what the weather is doing? Global average temperature is persistently below the predictions made by all the IPCC-approved models over the last 20 years. This is the only evidence we need that the models are incomplete and can’t be trusted.

        This. Right here.

        1. Although I did hear a climate scientist arguing the other day that the incomplete nature and inaccuracy of the models suggests that climate change will be worse than what the models originally predicted.

          Yep, really.

  13. Al Qaeda controls more territory than ever in Middle East

    From around Aleppo in western Syria to small areas of Falluja in central Iraq, al Qaeda now controls territory that stretches more than 400 miles across the heart of the Middle East, according to English and Arab language news accounts as well as accounts on jihadist websites.

    Indeed, al Qaeda appears to control more territory in the Arab world than it has done at any time in its history.

    1. Mission Accomplished?

  14. Man, 20, has lucky escape after a stray bullet rips through wall and bounces off his forehead after neighbor fired off a round while cleaning his gun

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..treet.html

    I really don’t understand how that can happen. I mean, first you check that it is unloaded. Then you verify that it is unloaded. Then after that you make sure it is unloaded. Dumbass.

    1. I almost had a negligent discharge once with a rifle that I was certain was unloaded whose action I was certain was locked open that I hadn’t handled in over a year. Then I realized that I was planning had my finger on the trigger, so I double checked and sure as hell, there were rounds in the magazine, though not chambered. I was pissed at myself for days because I almost assumed the gun was unloaded.

      1. Negligent Discharge would be a great band name

        1. Or a description of every guy who ever created a baby momma with no intention of assisting in support.

    2. I think that in many cases “I was cleaning my gun” is an attempt to sound more, um, responsible than the actual “I fucked up”.

      1. I suppose it’s a little better than “I was fucking around and shot the wall”. But not much.
        Seriously, how long does it take to check? 5 seconds?

        1. Three seconds. I just checked.

    3. “I really don’t understand how that can happen. I mean, first you check that it is unloaded. Then you verify that it is unloaded. Then after that you make sure it is unloaded. Dumbass.”

      Incorrect. All guns are loaded all the time and must be treated as such

      1. If you can see the chamber is empty or the gun cannot physically fire (for instance if slide is locked open or the cylinder is open in a revolver), then still don’t point it at anyone but you may put your finger(s) inside the trigger guard for leverage.

    4. I had a former co-worker whose husband shot himself in the groin while cleaning his gun. Ironically, it happened the day after she caught him having sex with another woman a bathroom in a local campground.

      1. You mean she shot him in the balls and he covered for her.

        1. She said she didn’t do it but she had a great big smile on her face when she told the story.

    5. Seriously. If there is one thing that should deprive a person of TRTKABA, it’s an accidental discharge at any time for any reason whatsoever. An AD is absolutely inexcusable. I’d rather be around a random felon or a nut with a gun than anyone who has ever had an AD.

      I’ve handled firearms for about 50 years. Never had an AD, never came close to an AD. I’ve known lots of people who had firearms. Two of these guys caused ADs in their past. One was a young, irresponsible acquaintance who laughed it off. The other was an older, competitive shooter. The latter was so upset about his AD that he gave up shooting completely. He understood all the principles of firearm safety, and recognized that a single AD meant that age had deteriorated his competence to handle firearms. I really respect that that guy.

  15. It’s medicine Jim, but not as we know it: Scientists build Star Trek-style tricorder that scans for signs of disease
    Scanadu Scout uses the operating system Nasa uses in its Mars rover
    To take a reading, the gadget is held on a person’s temple for 10 seconds
    Sensors and a built-in microphone read a variety of vital health signs
    This includes temperature, heart rate, blood oxygen levels and more
    Full technical specifications have not been released, but a prototype is on display at the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sci…..sease.html

    1. Get back to me when I can get a phaser.

      1. Replicators and holodecks. That’s that I want.

    1. Good thing my 2003 truck don’t have no stinkin GPS new fangled technology

      1. I hate GPS.

        Maps for me.

        1. My phone does have GPS though. But it is pretty difficult to use while driving without a passenger to operate it.

    2. “We know everyone who breaks the law, we know when you’re doing it. We have GPS in your car, so we know what you’re doing. By the way, we don’t supply that data to anyone,” he told attendees.

      No, Mr. Executive, a GPS doesn’t tell you what I’m doing. If it’s attached to my car it tells you where my car is located.

      1. And can tell rate of speed versus posted limit, where you stop, when you stop, how long you spend there, allowing for a reasonable inferrence of what you’re doing there.

        1. Pedant: “rate of speed” is acceleration.

          1. I’m sure you mean “rate of velocity” is acceleration.

            1. Well, obviously, since speed is a scalar metric and acceleration is a vector.

              However, in the vernacular ‘rate of speed’ is also an idom for current velocity. Not technically accurate per physics, but most vernacular idoms are not.

            2. Speed is simply the scalar version of velocity, i.e. the rate of change of position stripped of its direction.

              So both “rate of speed” and “rate of velocity” are accelerations. The first would be scalar, the second a vector.

              1. An object in uniform circular motion experiences nonzero acceleration but its speed does not change.

                1. Put more broadly, the magnitude of the derivative of a vector is not equal to the derivative of the magnitude of a vector.

                  1. Still doesn’t make “rate of speed” == “speed”

                2. Of course. Because the direction vector is continuously changing.

              2. No, “rate of speed” is redundant. It doesn’t mean “acceleration.” Acceleration is the rate of change of speed. They mean “rate of travel” or simply, “speed”.

          2. I’m sure it can tell them that too

        2. But there’s a library across the street from that club! I swear.

      2. “We know everyone who breaks the law, we know when you’re doing it.

        Why would he say something like this? DOes he think his customers will think this is a good thing?

        1. Not with the “third party doctrine” for those GPS records.

          Retroactive tickets away!

        2. Welp, my decision to never buy another car from an American company just got validated.

          Again.

        3. Well, he could blackmail them into buying a Ford again, or else. Why else would someone?

  16. Ex-wife of The Road writer Cormac McCarthy pulled silver handgun from her genitals during argument with boyfriend over space aliens

    The most recent ex-wife of Pulitzer Prize winning novelist Cormac McCarthy was arrested for domestic violence Saturday after she pulled a silver handgun from her genitals to threaten her boyfriend during an argument about space aliens.

    Jennifer McCarthy was arrested and held at the Santa Fe County jail in New Mexico on a charge of aggravated assault on a household member. She has since been released on $5,000 bail.

    1. Jennifer McCarthy

      Did she start shrieking about vaccines?

    2. She then proceeded to “have inner course with the gun,” according to the court filing. While using the gat as a sex toy, McCarthy reportedly asked her boyfriend, “Who is crazy, you or me?”

      I *think* I can see why she’s Cormac’s “most recent ex-wife”.

    3. “have inner course with the gun,”

      Gives a whole new reason to use Gun Oil.

  17. Millionaire Obama: I Hate Income Inequality
    Back from his $4 million Hawaii vacation, President Barack Obama seems poised to sound the populist trumpet in an effort to turn the page on 2013’s disastrous Obamacare rollout….

    1. But remember when he gave back 20k of his salary? What a guy!

    2. He can say that because he earned his money the “right way.”

      1. Inheritance and cronyism?

        1. Pointing a gun at your fellow man is the most noble of enterprises. Voluntarily trading with your fellow man is vile and unclean.

    3. No one needs more than a 3 million dollar vacation. Or was that pension?

  18. SQUIRELLZ!

    Apartment Complex Declares War on Squirrels, Squirrel Sympathizers

    The flyer at the left was recently posted at the Washington & Lee Apartments (2200 2nd Street N.), threatening “legal action and fines” against those who feed the squirrels. Sandra Rose, who has been the apartment property manager for 18 years, stresses she’s not trying to be nasty, but the animals have been causing thousands of dollars worth of damage to the property.

    “People think they’re cute and cuddly, and they are. But they don’t always understand they’re a rodent,” Rose said. “As a rodent they do rodent type damage.”

    1. I hate those damn tree rats as much as anyone. They are pretty cute, though.

    2. Squirrels always bring a smile, though. I’ve never seen a squirrel that didn’t look he was having the time of his life. Even if I shot him right after that.

      1. He died doing what he loved.

  19. Robert Rector: How The War On Poverty Was Lost.
    On Jan. 8, 1964, President Lyndon B. Johnson used his State of the Union address to announce an ambitious government undertaking. “This administration today, here and now,” he thundered, “declares unconditional war on poverty in America.”

    Fifty years later, we’re losing that war. Fifteen percent of Americans still live in poverty, according to the official census poverty report for 2012, unchanged since the mid-1960s. Liberals argue that we aren’t spending enough money on poverty-fighting programs, but that’s not the problem. In reality, we’re losing the war on poverty because we have forgotten the original goal, as LBJ stated it half a century ago: “to give our fellow citizens a fair chance to develop their own capacities.”

    The federal government currently runs more than 80 means-tested welfare programs that provide cash, food, housing, medical care and targeted social services to poor and low-income Americans. . . . If converted to cash, current means-tested spending is five times the amount needed to eliminate all official poverty in the U.S.

    1. Next time some leftie goes off about how those poor folks need our help, just ask him this:

      Ever been to Yellowstone? Did you feed the bears there? Why not?

      1. “It’s against the Law, duh!”

      2. And then, when they ask how dare you compare the poor to animals, ask why they think that poor people are stupider than bears, who are clever enough to figure out where the easy meal comes from.

        1. Don’t forget to call them speciesist for being offended by your comparison to animals.

    2. Because there is a huge federal bureaucracy made of tens of.thousands of employees all getting paid to “administer” the disbursement of whatever aid.is.left. over after their cut.is.taken out? If the federal government were subject.to thesame scrutiny as charities, it would be exposed as the fraud it is. People who would go.on fishing expiditions through a charity’s books to.find overpaid executives and.other waster wouldn’t bat an eyr at the government’s theft.

      1. I’ve been meaning to ask – what’s with the random periods instead of spaces?

        1. The period is next tot eh space bar on my phone’s software keyboard.

          1. Oh, okay.

            1. And I’m lazy.

              1. Or you’re an Annunaki. Returned. From Enki.LOL.

  20. Big Business Doubles Down on GOP Civil War With Tea Party

    The U.S. Chamber, the nation’s largest business-lobbying group and a traditional supporter of Republicans, has in recent years squared off against lawmakers aligned with the Tea Party on issues including trade, U.S. Export-Import Bank reauthorization and the federal budget.

    “In 2014, the chamber will work to protect and expand a pro-business majority in the House and advance our position and our influence in the Senate,” Donohue said in his annual State of American Business speech in Washington. “The business community understands what’s at stake.”

    1. Slowly, but surely, the GOP is starting to put the nails in their own coffin.

  21. Libya Threatens to Sink Oil Tankers

    Libya may sink tankers trying to load at eastern ports seized by armed protesters in an escalating confrontation over control of oil exports, Prime Minister Ali Zeidan said on Wednesday.

    His warning came after Libya’s navy fired shots at the weekend to ward off a tanker that the state-run National Oil Corp. (NOC) said tried to load at one port that has been out of government control for six months.

    Brent crude rose above $107 a barrel on Wednesday, supported by the new worries over Libyan supplies, which have been slashed since summer by the blockade of three key eastern ports.

  22. Anyone up for this weekend’s Houston showing?

    Divorce Corp
    …A shocking expos? of the inner workings of the $50 billion a year
    U.S. family law industry, Divorce Corp shines a bright light on the appalling waste, and shameless collusive practices seen daily in family courts. It is a stunning documentary film that anyone considering marriage or divorce must see….

    1. So, lawyers colluding to take advantage of lawss they (probably) helped write to bilk their clients out of lots more money?

      Color me surprised.

  23. The Modest Victorian Proposal to Electroplate Corpses Into Beautiful Statues

    The metal embalming was brought to our attention by History Banter, and while it sounds like something out of a Hammer horror film, it turns out that electroplating the dead was very seriously proposed by at least two inventors. As the Montana Digital Newspaper Project cites in their post on the electroplating, one Paris physician avowed that “modern Cleopatras may now smile in their last moments, knowing full well that their beauty will be handed down to future generations.” An illustration from a 1971 book called Victorian Inventions by Leonard De Vries, has a mad scientist interpretation of Varlot’s process, charmingly showing a child in a sort of limp pose propped up inside a bell jar.

    This French practitioner they refer to is one Dr. Varlot, who appears to be the first to suggest electroplating to turn people into statues in the mid-19th century, but was not the last.

    1. You could probably make a lot of money doing that with dead pets.


      1. The Idea behind Plastination

        “I developed the Plastination technique at the University of Heidelberg’s Institute of Anatomy in 1977, patented it between 1977 and 1982, and have been continually improving the process ever since.

        That was on January 10, 1977, the day that I decided to make Plastination the focus of my life.”

      2. Depends, how well can you electroplate fur?

    2. An 1887 article in Cassell’s Saturday Journal proclaimed that “the body being hermetically sealed within its metal inclosure, merely dries up and assumes the aspect of a mummy.”

      Um, no. The gases would either breach through pressure or it would turn into grandma soup and some asshole would knock it over and sploosh.

      1. That’s what the natron infusion is for.

        Oh wait, that sounds a lot like actually going through the process of mummifcation, then enclosing the mummy in a death cast of the corpse.

    3. If this were a Hammer movie, I’d watch it. But I wouldn’t want it done to my remains.

  24. Florida police department now prepared for mine fields, ground assault

    the six-wheel, 61,700-pound armored vehicle will be used to transport Fort Lee SWAT teams. Local police bought the Mine-Resistant Ambush Protected Vehicle ? or MRAP ? from the Department of Defense for just $2,000.

    1. No telling how Florida Man will choose to strike.

    2. How well does it handle swampy grounds, mud and shallow to mid-depth waters? Cause those aren’t hard to come by (expecially in parts of florida, where they even come with snakes and gators for no extra charge)

      1. They’re not for chasing meth producers out in the boonies – they’re for Intimidating, Dominating, and Controlling the city dwellers.

        1. Calling Ft Pierce a city isn’t exactly being intellectually honest.

  25. “The White House is preparing for a number of longtime aides to leave in the next few months.”

    I’m just a dolphin ma’am, so I’d like to know if this is par for the course at the WH during a President’s term or if this reflects the situation at a particular time. If the former, who cares?

    1. It is not all that rare for there to be a period of large staff turnover in a Presidents 2nd term, but usually happens a bit earlier in the term iirc.

      It sounds like this might be a bit larger in scope as well.

      My guess is that this is a mix of the normal cycle of aides tiring of the job and looking to move on and some of the rats fleeing a sinking ship

      1. People see the iceberg of the mid-term elections coming, and (mixed metaphor alert) don’t want the stink of it on themselves.

      2. Don’t kid yourself. Obama is cleaning house, getting rid of everyone who embarrassed him in the past few years. It’s a lot of aides.

  26. For those who thought rail travel couldn’t get any worse:

    Finland’s new dining cars to offer karaoke

    The double decker car features a restaurant and bar on the lower floor. The upper deck has meeting rooms and compartments where groups can order from their own waiter. On the lower floor there is even a place for boisterous travellers to sing karaoke.

    The article also has the obligatory shit about being “environmentally friendly”.

    1. Finland karaoke? So what will they be singing? Korpiklaani, Nightwish, Finntroll?

    2. The article also has the obligatory shit about being “environmentally friendly”.

      Having to listen to drunken Fins butchering their favorite songs may be too high a price for even Euro-trash to pay just to feel smug about their carbon footprint compared to us hethen Americans cruising around in our SUVs and pick-up trucks.

  27. After a night with Warty…

    Naked scooter driver was just ‘cooling down’

    A rural police officer thought he had seen it all until he drove past a man on a scooter with his underwear pulled down to his ankles.

    When stopped, the half-naked motorist explained that he was merely “letting them cool down”.

    1. What the hell! No arrest? Some cop did the normal, rational thing and told the guy to pull his pants up!

  28. Borrowers Hit Social-Media Hurdles
    Regulators Have Concerns About Lenders’ Use of Facebook, Other Sites

    More lending companies are mining Facebook, Twitter and other social-media data to help determine a borrower’s creditworthiness or identity, a trend that is raising concerns among consumer groups and regulators.

    Lending companies?some of which are backed with venture funding from Google Ventures, the venture-capital arm of Google Inc., and Accel Partners, an early Facebook Inc. investor?are looking at potential problems such as whether applicants put the same job information on their loan application as they posted on LinkedIn, or if they shared on Facebook that they had been let go by an employer. A small business that draws negative reviews on eBay also could undermine its chances of getting more credit, lending companies say.

    1. So some people are putting information about themselves in a public place where anyone can see it, and some other people are looking at that information and using it to evaluate whether they think it is worth the risk to do business with them, and I’m supposed to act like this is some huge scandal because…?

  29. YELP critics must be identified, court rules in online landscape altering decision

    The Virginia Court of Appeals [ruled] that the comments were not protected First Amendment opinions if the Yelp users were not customers and thus were making false claims.

    This is an interesting case, IMO. One aspect is: How many, um, levels of indirection is one permitted before one is slapped with a slander/libel charge?

    1. If I were Yelp, I would not want my reviews to be anonymous. If the Yelp becomes known as a place where a restaurant’s competition tells lies about it, then people will stop going there for reviews.

      1. Oh, I agree, John.

        But what about: “I’m Joe Blow, and my friend says this restaurant sucks”?

      2. Yelp could easily fix this by having all its reviewers registered with names, emails, and locations. They could reject any that do not have verifiable information. They may have this already.

        1. So, after being told that your Yelp comments expose you to personal liability, you’re going to register so the plaintiff’s lawyers know where to serve the lawsuit?

          1. Truth is an absolute defense to libel. If I have a bad experience at your restaurant, have fun suing me over my yelp review. Further, have fun proving my opinion is “false” to such a degree it amounts to libel.

            That is really not a concern for anyone giving an honest review. Newspapers have been writing restaurant reviews, some of them scathing for decades. The risk of liability never seemed to deter them.

            1. There is a local restaurant forum I post to that requires real name IDs. There is an exception made for first name, last initial but you have to get specific permission from the site owner.

              People post reviews slagging restaurants all the time. Usually within hours they get contacted by the restaurant owner.

              It does far more good than a 1-star yelp review.

            2. Yeah, because dickheads who don’t understand the 1st amendment have never abused the legal process to make their critics miserable with meritless lawsuits, right?

              You’re right that someone giving an honest review has little reason to fear losing a defamation lawsuit, but don’t act like the threat of being sued, even frivolously, is just something that can be blown off and isn’t a major factor in chilling speech.

  30. One of the best use of Coors…

    Houston firefighter puts out truck blaze with beer

    “The brakes had caught and the tire was burning,” said Moreau, who initially fought the fire with a small extinguisher the driver had on board.

    “I crawled underneath and thought we’d got it out but it flared back up,” said Moreau, who was off duty at the time. “So I said to the driver, ‘what have you got in here?'”

    “It’s beer! It’s all beer,” the driver said of his cargo of Coor Banquet beer.

    Moreau said the pair started spraying and shaking cans of beer as fast as they could. Meanwhile, the tire continued to burn and eventually exploded.

    Fortunately, the beer worked and the blaze was eventually extinguished.

    1. Makes sense. Coors is fucking close to water. How they can advertise that tasteless shit as “the banquet beer” is beyond me.

      1. I like Coors Banquet actually.. except for the price, $22 for a 12 pack of cans.. another reason I want to leave Canada.

        1. $2 a can for Coors? I would hate to see what Stone or Great Lakes costs around there.

        2. Shh, Smilin Joe. Make sure no Canadians are listening. You know how sensitive we are.

          1. At least people complain a little about liquor prices up here.. not enough for anyone to actual make it a big deal to politicians to change any laws… but maybe some day we (Ontario) can at least get rid of the government created monopoly on the selling of beer that the Beer Store consortium holds… Bahaha who am I kidding, that will probably never happen.

          2. Molson owns Coor’s (or is the the other way round?), so that’s something.

      2. Because at a banquet you have a lot of people to serve, so you might have to water down your beer. Hence, Coors.

    2. That was God saving that man from drinking Coors.

  31. The federal government currently runs more than 80 means-tested welfare programs that provide cash, food, housing, medical care and targeted social services to poor and low-income Americans. . . . If converted to cash, current means-tested spending is five times the amount needed to eliminate all official poverty in the U.S.

    Think of all the bureaucrats we have saved from poverty.

  32. 5 Redesigned Acme Products That’ll Help Wile E. Coyote Murder Road Runner

    http://www.wired.com/design/20…..co16804914

    1. I have always maintained that Wile E. was a product tester fro ACME, and he was reporting on the effectiveness of their prototypes – which explains both his ready access to the costly hardware and their high failure rate.

  33. “In 2014, the chamber will work to protect and expand a pro-business majority in the House and advance our position and our influence in the Senate,” Donohue said in his annual State of American Business speech in Washington. “The business community understands what’s at stake.”

    “Pro-business” not same as pro-free-market.

    The Chamber of Commerce can suck my balls.

    1. Good point. I think more libertarians should make the point that we are not “pro-business.”

      1. Established big business, I would say, is very anti-free market. They love when government creates artificial barriers to entry and other legislation that doesn’t hurt them as much as it hurts their competition.

      2. Do you think it’s possible to explain to a typical Huffpo reading liberal that many of the policies they support actually help major corporations at the expense of their smaller competition?

        Probably not. Too many of their arguments go something like.. “The evil corporations control the government so we have to give the government (which they control) even more power so that uh umm.. OBAMA!!!”

        1. I made this exact point to one of my liberal-ish friends. He was arguing for a carbon tax because “industries are killing the environment”. I asked him why he thinks that the government, whose biggest lobbyists are said industries, would craft a law that cut off its biggest donors. To that he replied “I can be an idealist, can’t I?”

          I think “not with my money” was the most appropriate response that didn’t involve telling my best friend where to shove his ideals.

        2. Do you think it’s possible to explain to a typical Huffpo reading liberal

          You can explain it. Whether they understand it is a different question.

    2. The free market is proconsumer. It causes producers heart-burn.

    3. Actually Pro Business is the complete opposite of pro free market

  34. Heard on NPR this morning;

    A new study shows that mass shootings have been on the rise since 2008…

    Is this true? Isn’t the total number of victims of non self or police inflicted gun violence decreasing? Or is it case of a 0.00001% rate going to 0.00002%?

    1. While long term trends are decreasing, judicious editing of any set of data will show whatever you want it to show if you chose the proper time interval.

      Liars, Damn Liars, and Statisticians.

    2. It’s just stupid to try to find a trend involving such rare events over such a short time.

    3. It all depends on how they define “mass shooting.” When most people hear the term they envision something like the Sandy Hook shooting, or the Aurora movie theater shooting. But if you define “mass shooting” to mean, say, any shooting in which there are 2 or more victims and include cases where one of the victims was the perp (murder-suicides), then you can greatly inflate the numbers.

      Or what kinnath said.

      1. And how many are gangsters shooting it out? That’s still a bad thing and a crime, but it is rather different from some psycho randomly shooting up a bunch on innocent people.

        1. That too. Also police involved shootings that are actual shootouts between police and actual criminals, etc.

    4. A new study shows that mass shootings have been on the rise since 2008 Obama was elected

      Impeach him! For the children. Because if it saves just one life . . . .

  35. Racism May Accelerate Aging In African-American Men

    A study published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine finds that African-American men who reported high levels of racial discrimination, or who have internalized anti-black attitudes, have an increased risk of premature death and chronic disease than white people.

    Apparently the study did not examine the effects of being a racist oneself.

    1. So what about whites, and hispanics that have face racial discrimination?

      1. any effects are balanced by their privilege.

  36. A new study shows that mass shootings have been on the rise since 2008…

    If “true” I automatically assume it is because of temporal cherry picking.

    1. “As such rare events, we had to make sure our start year was a low point and there were no peaks in between, which is why it’s so recent.”

    2. If it is true, maybe it is the result of our celebrity media driven culture and the media’s obsession with these losers sending the message to other would be losers that the way to reach the holy grail of modern society known as fame, is to go shoot a bunch of people. Just a thought.

      1. First, it’s not true, it’s just cherry picking. Second, attraction to infamy has existed ever since infamy existed. Look at some of the biggest names of the wild west and tell me that they didn’t play off one another.

    3. I suspect they’re referring to this study.

      Mother Jones, not content with having running one of the more bogus studies on mass shootings (for which they boast about winning an award from Ithaca College), is crowing again about a new study out of Texas State. They claim that the study shows that mass shooting are rising, that available guns are the reason and that civilians never stop shootings.

      It’s too bad they didn’t read the paper too carefully. Because it supports none of those conclusions.

      [Lots more stuff. Go read it yourself.]

      1. But it gets boiled down to a headline that makes it seems like people are just going crazy with the mass shootings. And people rarely look past the headlines.

  37. Apparently it’s possible to allegedly drink 5 gallons of vodka and live. I would have thought would kill most people.

    A breath test measured Harper’s blood alcohol content at 0.379

    Also of note: this happened in Florida. It’s always FL.

    1. Must be that cheap diluted vodka. The stuff that comes in a plastic jug.

      If he didn’t die drinking it, I bet he wish he would have the morning after.

    2. How do you no throw that up? I would get sick before I could ingest five gallons of anything, much less vodka. Also, John Bonham, who was a man of enormous constitution and had been a heavy drinker for nearly two decades, died from consuming 40 shots of vodka in 24 hours. Assuming the shots were a consistent 1.5 ounces, that is 60 ounces or about half a gallon.

      I call Shenanigans.

      1. Eh. Your stomach and intestines shut down. That’s why his serum chemistry was far below the expected rate. If you look at alcohol poisoning deaths, you’d find some interesting variation in BAC per unit ethanol consumed.

      2. Didn’t Bonham choke on vomit? I don’t think it was directly alcohol poisoning that did it.

        1. Yeah, I’m pretty sure it was vomit. Same with Bon Scott from AC/DC.

        2. Yep, it was the vomit wot dunnit. When oh when will warning labels be placed on vomit?

      3. According to the story the cops found him staggering around a parking lot at 1:50pm, so I suspect he had started drinking the night before, and just kept going all morning. I also wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t just drinking straight vodka, but vodka mixed with cranberry juice, cocktails, etc. Still, drinking 5 gallons of anything in ~12 hours or so would probably make my bladder explode.

        Although it does explain why he dropped trou and urinated right in front of the cops. He probably was staggering around looking for a bathroom and decided “fuck it, I’ve got to go NOW!”

      4. Well, keep in mind they asked the guy, *while he was drunk*, how much he had to drink.

        Not exactly a reliable source there.

    3. Pssh. Anything under .4 doesn’t impress me anymore.

    4. I knew a dude that almost drank himself to death. He had to get his stomach pumped and he was in the hospital for 4 days. When he got to the hospital his blood alcohol level was over 0.4.

  38. I like Coors Banquet actually.. except for the price, $22 for a 12 pack of cans.. another reason I want to leave Canada.

    Back when mastodons roamed the glaciers of upstate New York, and I was plotting my escape to the hippy ski bum promised land of Colorado, Coors was an exotic specialty beer, transported by bootleggers in the trunks of cars.

    When I got to Colorado, I was surprised to discover you could get it in any grocery store for about $2.50 a sixpack.

    I still drink it (Light, actually) at home, much of the time. It, unlike Miller, for example, is not actually poisonous.

    1. Coors was an exotic specialty beer, transported by bootleggers

      I think I saw a documentary about this once starring Jackie Gleason and the Flying Nun.

    2. The excessive water dilutes the poison enough.

  39. Time for another edition of: Mugshot or glamor shot? Apparently, dogs are now trained to smell pharmaceuticals.

    Norton asked for permission to search Dutton’s car. When Dutton declined the request, Norton used a drug dog to perform an open air sniff outside the car.

    1. In Dutton’s purse, Norton said he found a green box with several plastic baggies and 1.2 grams of suspected heroin, valued at $360. Eleven Oxycodone pills, valued at $220, were also allegedly found during the search.

      She is a regular Frank Lucas. She is not a dealer or even a mule. She appears to be an occasional user. But only a moron cop would call her a “dealer” within any meaningful use of the term.

    2. Dogs are trained to respond to their handlers.

  40. I can go to my friendly neighborhood Costco and buy a thirty-pack of Coors Light for twenty bucks. Take that, you Canuckistanis.

    And- to all you yobs clamoring, “Ya gits whatcha pays fer!” I fart in your general direction(s).

    1. When I was in Florida last month, the local Costco sells their Kirkland brand vodka (which is pretty good) for $13.89 for 60 oz. For nothing else I would move to Florida for that liquor pricing.

      A 60oz of the cheapest shit liquor up here would cost over $60.

      1. I got talking to an Icelandic guy and his Icelandic-American wife last year at a bar. She described him literally weeping with joy the first time she took him to a liquor store in the US. Apparently, liquor was about 1/5th the price and 20x the selection.

    2. For twenty bucks I can brew five gallons of German style pilsner.

      *phhht*

  41. Anything under .4 doesn’t impress me anymore.

    Florida Man abides.

  42. A life-sized Lego car that actually can b driven

    http://thatslikewhoa.com/air-p…..invention/

  43. “Moreau said the pair started spraying and shaking cans of beer as fast as they could. Meanwhile, the tire continued to burn and eventually exploded.”

    Good thing he was able to help Snowman get that fire put out so he and the Bandit could get that Coors to Big Enos and Little Enos.

  44. When will Feeney’s public relations firm release an apology on his behalf for his lack of comments appearing when you hover over pictures?

    1. hover over a picture? What is this hover you speak of? My alt-text appears below the picture. It is just more Reasonable…

      1. Chrome sucks.

        1. I prefer nickel. It has a deeper lustre and looks less flashy.

  45. For twenty bucks I can brew five gallons of German style pilsner.

    I’m thirsty NOW, goddammit!

  46. After three years of preparation, I’m delighted to tell you that the “First Annual, Live National Read-Along of the Bill of Rights Over the Internet” took place on Sunday, December 15, 2013, the 222nd anniversary of the Bill of Rights.

    We have a video of the webcast now on the web, and, if you’d like to see it, here are the steps:

    1. Logon to: http://www.National-Education-Project.org

    2. Click on the birthday cake.

    3. On the next screen, click on “Click Here” at the bottom of the screen, and you’ll go to the webcast, which will start immediately.

    You may also download a free printed copy of the Bill of Rights, which children sign and post on the family refrigerator door as a reminder to everyone in the home of the liberties of all Americans.

    We have begun preparations for Bill of Rights Day, Monday, December 15, 2014. We will again have children reading the Bill of Rights on a world-wide webcast.

    And on that day, our hope is that the astronauts on the International Space Station will read the ninth and tenth amendments.

    Yes, men from space reading the Bill of Rights to the entire Earth! You can lose sleep dreaming of such things.

    Best wishes to you all for the great New Year to come.

    Words fail me.

  47. San Francisco has outlined plans to tax tech companies such as Google and Facebook if they want to keep using private shuttles to transport their employees to work.

    The best part is that state law prevents San Francisco from charging more than the actual costs of providing the service. Since the incremental cost of private buses using a public bus stop is zero, the tax can only bring in enough to administer the tax program itself.

    http://blogs.wsj.com/digits/20…..gle-buses/

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