Nearly Half of Black Men and 40 Percent of White Men Arrested By Age 23, Iraq's PM Urges Fallujah Residents To Expel Al Qaeda-Linked Fighters, Man Loses 37 Pounds Eating Only McDonald's: P.M. Links


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  • According to a study published in Crime & Delinquency, nearly half of black men and 40 percent of white men have been arrested by the age of 23.
  • A man who pleaded guilty to slapping a crying toddler on a plane has been sentenced to eight months in federal prison. Prosecutors said that the man also used a racial slur when referring to the baby, who is black.
  • Iraq's prime minister has urged residents of Fallujah to expel Al Qaeda-linked fighters from the city.
  • An Iowa teacher lost 37 pounds after eating a McDonald's-only diet for three months.
  • The Kentucky Supreme Court has blocked a registered sex offender from taking the bar exam.
  • A state appeals court has upheld San Francisco's ban on single-use plastic bags.

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  1. An Iowa teacher lost 37 pounds after eating a McDonald’s-only diet for three months.

    Sounds like someone is in the pocket of Big Mac.

    1. Is that a Big Mac in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

    2. “the exception proves the rule!”


      1. Are you saying this guys is the exception?

        Cause I didn’t read the article so depending on what he ate and drank there, it’s totally possible for anyone to lose that kinda weight over 3 months.

        1. He had his students work up a plan that kept him under a certain daily calorie count. 2,000, I believe.

          1. Hey! Where’s my hat tip? I brought this McDonalds weight-loss story to the commentariat over the weekend!

            I’ve never had a hat tip (sob)

            1. I had one once. Sure the high is great for a while, but then you get tired of signing autographs and sleeping with supermodels.

              1. then there’s the feeling of emptiness, resolved by a pilgramage in the himalayas, and the inevitable “Hat Tips in History: Where Are They Now?” special on VH1

              2. I didn’t get no stinkin supermodels after my hat tip! I just got a $10 gift certificate for Starbucks. Bought me exactly one drink.

            2. I believe a PhD candidate, econ/Standford I think, did a 30 day study like Morgan and had very different results.

              So I think he wins 🙂

            3. Join the club.

        2. I was just sarcastically making the point that the food Nazis (Mrs. Zero included) will not commend McDonald’s for being part of this guy’s success as they would with product from a more politically correct comany. It wouldn’t be the ‘right messaging’ because it doesn’t fit the narrative.

          1. Ahh, got ya.

          2. I’m gonna gain 50 lbs eating nothing but organic, GMO-free, Whole Foods produce and see if the resulting article can cause them to go into apoplexy.

            1. If it does, I’ll throw you some money to get back in shape.

            2. That’s gonna be hard to do. Not because of the organic or the GMO-free, but because produce. If you find potatoes and corn on the produce aisle, though, you can probably hit that hard enough to get there.

    3. Eeeeyup.

    4. Sounds like someone is in the pocket of Big Mac.


      1. Ugh.

        Still can’t forget the 70’s when the TV announcer said , during a drinking glass promotion, “Stop in for a Grim Ace glass this week at your nearest McDonalds.”

        1. My brother and I once heard a radio ad – only heard it once, mind you – that started out, “You know, I never really knew how to handle girls. That is, until I started using Brut Force”.

          We didn’t hear any more of it since we were laughing too hard, but it was clearly a real ad, not some spoof.

  2. The Kentucky Supreme Court has blocked a registered sex offender from taking the bar exam.

    They determined he wasn’t sufficiently amoral.

    1. Now, if he had been an illegal alien sex offender, that would have been different.

    2. Beat me to it.

      What frosts me on this is that someone who has had no criminal history for years and years can be blocked from being a lawyer, but someone who boasts of breaking the law every day gets ordered in by a federal judge.

      W. T. F.?

      1. And if someone cannot legally work, how can they legally practice law?

  3. A man who pleaded guilty to slapping a crying toddler on a plane has been sentenced to eight months in federal prison. Prosecutors said that the man also used a racial slur when referring to the baby, who is black.

    Worst of all, that baby was an undercover US Marshall!

    1. Was he sentenced to a federal pound me in the ass prison?

      1. He slapped a 19th month old child that was not his. I hope he fucking did, but it was probably county.

        1. A man who pleaded guilty to slapping a crying toddler on a plane has been sentenced to eight months in federal prison.

          Reading is fundamental.

        2. Just doing what the parents’s job.

  4. …nearly half of black men and 40 percent of white men have been arrested by the age of 23.

    Doing their part for job security of a certain industry.

    1. According to a study published in Crime & Delinquency, nearly half of black men and 40 percent of white men have been arrested by the age of 23.

      It’s almost like there is something about age and gender going on…

      1. “We don’t have time for this.”


      Social Justice requires that we begin to arrest women at the same rates as men

    3. Maybe too much shit is illegal.

      1. I don’t think you’re allowed to say that.

    4. Though it is very easy to get arrested without actually breaking any laws. I was arrested before I turned 21 (underaged drinking, though I actually hadn’t been drinking) but never charged with anything.

    5. Nearly half and forty percent are pretty close. I’m surprised it is that close.

      Of course there is a difference I think from being arrested to being charged? Or, maybe not. And, being convicted is another thing altogether.

      1. I am agree.
        From where I sit, 40% is nearly half.
        Would it be so difficult for the author to simply state the two numbers and not “color” (oops) the stats with “nearly half”?

        1. Back when I was an active blogger I ran across a story where a reporter said that white males had something happen (failing the ASVAB maybe?) to them “only” 23% of the time, but it happened to black males “almost 30% of the time”. It struck me as strange and I dug into the actual numbers. It worked out to like 23.3% of the time to white males, and 26.8% of the time for blacks. So, through the magic of word choice, he more than doubled the difference between the two.

  5. A man who pleaded guilty to slapping a crying toddler on a plane has been sentenced to eight months in federal prison. Prosecutors said that the man also used a racial slur when referring to the baby, who is black.

    “So what are you in for?”

    “I slapped a baby.”

    1. He’s lucky they didn’t charge him with terrorism.

      1. You think they’re ridiculous with “contempt of cop” charges? Because “contempt of flight attendant” can get you in far worse trouble than that.

    2. Joe Rickey Hundley

      Was there going to be any other outcome with a name like that?

  6. A state appeals court has upheld San Francisco’s ban on single-use plastic bags.

    Judges in the pocket of Big Paper.

    1. How the fuck do they know the bags are “single-use”? My trash bags all have Circle K, Walmart, or other logos on them.

        1. You need to get over that cubic zirconia I gave you. Especially since our relationship would never have worked with your spendthrift ways, anyway.

      1. We’ll need to create a new agency, The BPBU (bureau of platic bag usaage), and fund it to the tune of 50 billion or so, so that we can correctly designate the proper usage of plastic bags.

        Then they’ll need several million rounds of ammunition and some tanks to keep anarchists like you from thinking they can just go around deciding for themselves if a plastic bag is single use or not.

        Just move to Somalia, ratbaggerthuglican, planet murderer!

      2. Same with all the bags my sister uses for her dog’s poop.

        1. As Hyperion alluded to, they know you’re lying (or she is). Because they know that no one would ever recycle unless compelled to by the wise and all-knowing state.

          1. I think I see a market opportunity. Make available as a purchasable product, boxes that dispense, let’s say, 12 plastic bags the exact shape and durability of the plastic bags they used to give your with your groceries. Claim on the label they are “trash bags” (the laws clearly state that the bans don’t affect packages of plastic trash bags.) Have them for sale next to the check out counter of every supermarket in affected areas like San Francisco.

            My first billion is almost in the bank!

            1. Or just have cashiers sell you single bags for 5 cents a pop at the checkout. They do that everywhere in Ontario now.

              1. In the places in CA where plastic bags are illegal they will sell you a paper bag for a dime — but none of those nice tough and easy-to-carry plastic bags, they’s against the law. For the children or save the planet or something something.

                1. Yeah, exact same deal in Austin, 10 cents for the paper bags.

                  Right outside the city limits, plastic bags galore.

                  1. I love in Round Rock. I have more plastic bags that I can use. Fuck Austin.

                2. The super retarded part is that plastic bags are still there for produce, butcher shop and deli items. Also all the plastic packaging. But the end use bags are totally killing the environment.

        2. I use them, well my son does, for picking up the dog poop. We also use them for small can garbage bags for which they work fine, and are FUCKING FREE.

          1. I use them, well my son does, for picking up the dog poop. We also use them for small can garbage bags for which they work fine, and are FUCKING FREE.

            And there you have it. By repurposing plastic bags, you’re stealing valuable tax revenue from government coffers.

      3. I wear mine!…..rt-bag.jpg
        But no, go ahead and make me a slave to King Cotton.
        Or would you prefer I kill and skin squirrels for my clothing?

      4. I fill mine with used cat litter. Honestly, if anyone actually only uses these bags once, to carry food home, they are really creatively challenged and.probably have too much money.

      5. “How the fuck do they know the bags are “single-use”? My trash bags all have Circle K, Walmart, or other logos on them.”

        All plastic bags are by default minimum dual-use. First use is to carry whatever shit you bought at Circle K. Second use is to murder the planet.

    2. In other news, San Francisco sidewalks have been overwhelmed by tons of dog shit. Authorities are unable to understand the recent and dramatic increase in the dog shit, suspecting that Republicans are somehow behind it.

      1. How will they tell it from the bum shit?

        1. Republican bum shit?

        2. Doesn’t line up north to south.

          1. And we have a winner.

            1. only if the magnetic field is stable

        3. How will they tell it from the bum shit?

          It smells better and is more solid.

      2. Actually, one study found that the reusable bag mania here has caused a distinct uptick in ER admissions and deaths from food poisoning. (E.g. the reusable grocery bags catch some hamburger juice leaking from a package, then get stored in a car trunk for a week, then get used to carry loose apples.) So we are supposed to launder our bags regularly, which seems to obviate the whole Saving the Planet purpose of this ban….

    3. The only single-use bags I have are condoms.

      1. So wasteful, why not reuse those too?

        1. At the very least, you could get two uses by turning it inside out.

  7. A state appeals court has upheld San Francisco’s ban on single-use plastic bags.

    What if I plan on using it to line my bathroom trash-can later or carry my lunch to work the next day? How do they possibly know it will be single use?

    1. Do you have a license for repurposing aingle-use bags?

    2. Possession of plastic without intent.

      1. …of re-use.

    3. “Today Kroger introduced re-usable plastic bags.”

  8. Nearly Half of Black Men and 40 Percent of White Men Arrested By Age 23

    *raises hand*

    Never spent the night in the pokey, though.

    1. “Check your privilege,Cracker”

    2. I was a late bloomer.

      1. I was arrested while doing a “fraternity prank” in college. Just spent a couple hours in the pokey till some buddies bailed me out, then ended up with probation and a $100 fine.

        I have to think a lot of these “arrests” are along the same level of severity as this.

        1. Dunno what they mean by “arrested”.

          Handcuffed and shoved in the back of a police cruiser? No.

          Stopped by an officer, questioned, and ordered to appear in court on such and such a date unless I paid a fine?


          Stopped at a border crossing, and compelled to answer a bunch of intrusive questions with the implied threat of further investigations, then released without charges? Plenty of times.

    3. I never was.

      I was there when one of my friends got put in cuffs, though, after he tried to end a situation started by our tiny Colombian friend picking a fight with a bunch of dudes three times his size.

    4. 49% to 40%? I know a lot of people who would be completely shocked that the difference is in the single digits.

      It’s also interesting that women of all races are essentially the same. 18% for white women and 16% for Hispanic and black women.

      1. Women have two powerful defenses against cops: tears and boobs.

        1. You forgot Blowjobs

        2. Women have three powerful defenses against cops: tears and boobs and blowjobs and sex in the back of the cruiser.

          Women have four….

          1. Yeah but no one expects the Feminist Inquisition

            1. I’ve been married for over 30 years. I ALWAYS expect the feminine Inquisition. And there’s never a comfy chair.

    5. I’ve been arrested thrice. Yeah, for weed.

      1. Arrested at 16. Open container while driving and littering when I tossed it out the window. Good times!

    6. I have been in the hoosegow for a couple days.

      I spent the time productively, doing pushups without my shirt on, rattling the bars and singing in a baritone negroid voice until that burned out my cords, then switching to a falsetto to do a medley of Curtis Mayfield tunes.

      I admit, I loved it. The cops were actually impressed when I’d called my dad and he said, “I’ll pick you up sunday”. It was Friday.

      I have also managed to get arrested, then be released, having convinced my oppressors I was in fact *someone else* entirely. It was some CIA level shit I pulled. But then again, those were the Bar Harbor (ME) police, and fuck, those guys made Andy Griffith look like NYPD Blue.

      I think my real claim to fame was being held in a jail-cell for a few hours at AGE 12. To this day I assert = that was NOT my home-made flame-thrower.

  9. nearly half of black men and 40 percent of white men have been arrested by the age of 23.

    I’m going to assume this number is total bullshit, based on a lack of differentiation between “thousands of arrests’ and “arrested thousands of times”.

    1. I think more important is the percent that get away.

  10. According to a study published in Crime & Delinquency, nearly half of black men and 40 percent of white men have been arrested by the age of 23.

    So it is more of a gender thing than a race thing? Feminists should demand parity.

    1. Disparate impact!

  11. Prosecutors said that the man also used a racial slur when referring to the baby, who is black.

    So that makes it worse? I guess slapping foreign babies is a bad idea, but if you’re gonna slap a toddler you should be able to say whatever you please while doing it. Without details beyond the headline I am unable to muster any outrage.

    Harsh sentence. Will the kid even remember this?

    1. Melissa Harris-Perry?

  12. Supreme Court issues injunction on Utah gay marriages

    The Supreme Court put a stop to same-sex marriages in conservative Utah on Monday while the state appeals a federal district court’s ruling that had legalized the unions.

    The justices, acting on a petition sent to Justice Sonia Sotomayor, ruled that gay marriages cannot continue during the appeals process. The case is pending before the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals.

    U.S. District Judge Robert Shelby ruled Dec. 20 that the state’s ban on same-sex marriage violates gay and lesbian couples’ constitutional rights. Since then, more than 900 same-sex couples in the state have wed.

    First the contraception injunction, and now this. The Wise Latina is sure pissing off the allies that supported her. Good for her.

    1. The article goes into absolutely no detail about the actual legal questions at stake in this particular ruling, so for all I know Sotomayor et al. are completely right on the merits in their decision, but I will say that my enthusiasm for seeing leftists foiled is very much blunted in this situation by this step backwards in rights for Utah’s gay couples.

      1. Changes to these laws should come through the legislature, not the courts. It may take longer, but you don’t turn every court appointment into a gay marriage debate.

        1. Hey, we turned every court appointment into an abortion debate, and that controversy has settled down, right?

        2. If tomorrow the courts struck down the PATRIOT Act, or perhaps some domestic surveillance bill, for being inherently offensive to the constitutional liberties of every American, would you be here saying, “Whoa, slow down, these changes should come through the legislature!”?

          Or are you, like virtually everyone else who makes this argument, only a fan of the slow approach for causes you have no personal stake in?

          1. I have nothing against gay marriage, I think everyone should have the opportunity to discover the inescapable living hell that is marriage.

            Regardless of the legislature vs judiciary angle on this, I wonder if the initial Utah response of “let’s see how many marriages we can get done before they stop us” had anything to do with the injunction.

    2. I love how it’s the “liberal wise latina” doing all of this too.

    3. Numero one-o, this isn’t an injunction, the Court *stayed* the injunction.

      Numero two-o, sotomayor didn’t make this decision by herself, she referred Utah’s application to the court and then the full Court issued the stay.

  13. Iraq’s prime minister has urged residents of Fallujah to expel Al Qaeda-linked fighters from the city.

    “And let me know how that turns out.”

    1. “Well, I’m sure as hell not going to do it!”

      – Nouri Al-Maliki

  14. “So what are you in for?”

    “I slapped a baby.”

    “And they all moved away from me, on the bench, and gave me the hairy eyeball, and stuff, until I said, ‘and creatin’ a nuisance’.”

    1. Kid, have you rehabilitated yourself?

      1. ” . . . anything you want . . .”

        1. The Group W bench…

  15. Pretty good move to get the McDonald’s manager to comp the experiment, too.

    Seriously, one can indeed make use of the nutritional information on the McDonald’s web site and eat well, and of course you’ll lose weight if you exercise enough in tandem with your diet. When you get the $1 side salad with included Newman’s Own dressing, you’re giving a little to a good cause, too.

    1. I think this shows how extreme Super Size Me made the parameters his McDs diet. Didn’t he also stop exercising and always buy the largest sizes?

      I think the reality of the person who eats McDonalds 5+ times per week is somewhere between these extremes.

      1. He ate super size fries and soda multiple times a day. I think he also had ice cream every day.

        1. The guy who made Fathead the movie debunks Sperlock pretty well.

          Watch the math

          According to Sperlock, he only was asked to supersize his meal 9 times in that month. It seems that he was making shit up for the movie (shocking, I know).

      2. Every time the staff asked if he wanted to supersize that order he said yes. McD’s changed their policy to never ask that question after the movie came out.

        1. I recall him practically making himself sick stuffing himself too.

          1. I think it was in one of the first scenes. I am sure of this because I could only tolerate a few scenes.

            I’m glad a downloaded a pirated copy of Supersize Me. If I had paid for it, I would have been pretty pissed.

        2. His thesis was that if anyone asks you to buy something, you must buy it. And if you buy it, you must eat it. All. In one sitting. And you must not order anything that could be construed as healthy.

          So if they say “would you like a hot apple pie with that” you gotta buy and eat a hot apple pie.

          I’d like to see him repeat that experiment at a high-end health-food full-service restaurant. The kind with a full bar. Not only would he gain weight at double the rate, he’d be tossed in jail as a drunkard within a couple of days. How many times would your server stop by and ask you if you needed another bottle of wine, or another mixed drink, if every time they asked you said “yes” and then quickly downed it? And any competent server is going to offer you a chance to order an appetizer and a desert. No chance you get out for less than 5,000 calories per meal with those parameters.

          In fact I’ll go out on a limb and bet that if you used those parameters at any full service restaurant you’d get stuck in a loop before the end of the first 3 days. Any competent server would ask you if you’d like another slice of pie after you downed the first one, even if in jest. Same goes for a nightcap.

          1. And no way they’d comp it

      3. What was the documentary that already did this?

        The one where the guy lost weight and got healthier eating at McDs?

        1. Fat Head, thanks to Jordan below.

      4. Spurlock not only had a crazy diet regimen, but he was flat out dishonest and contradicted himself. In the movie he tells his Dr that he’s consuming 5k calories a day. Tom Naughton (the creator of Fat Head, which others have mentioned) shows in his documentary counterpoint to Super Size Me that it is basically impossible to eat that much at McD without supersizing everything and adding desserts. Which were against Spurlock’s self imposed “rules” (e.g., only super size when asked).

        So he made up ridiculous rules which he couldn’t even stick to in order to come to the conclusion he wanted to find. To this day he’s never released his food diary. Leftie lying and manipulating to make a political point. Color me shocked.

        1. But, since it fits the narrative and derp for the chillinz, what difference at this point does it hurr?

        2. Shit, should have read more comments before posting the video above.

    2. If you run a calorie deficit you are going to lose weight regardless what you eat.

      1. Stop othering the victims of obesity syndrome with your mathematical privilege.

      2. Initially, of course. Long-term, no. Your body will down-regulate activity (and thus, energy expenditure).

    3. Skip the fries, soda, and sauces, and you’ll most likely lose weight without even exercising. On a related note, everyone should check out Fat Head.

      1. I lost 20 pounds just from eliminating carbonated soft drinks from my diet. I still drink beer.

        1. I love soft drinks. I’m not overweight, but I would love to be able to cut down. How do you deal with the cravings?

          1. Drink flavored seltzer water.

          2. I’m going to switch to Hawaiian Punch. Still sugary, but not as bad as soda.

          3. Ice tea with lemon, no sugar.

            1. I find that black tar heroin gets me over the soda cravings. Try it!

              1. It does look like Coca Cola in the spoon.

          4. I switched to unsweetened iced tea (with lemon sometimes) – everytime I had a craving it was more ‘I need to drink’ than ‘I need sugar and caffeine’.

            I go days to weeks between drinking soda now.

            Still, roughly twice a year, I wake up in a strange hotel room in a different city, nude except for a pistol belt, tutu, and a cowboy hat, with empty Coke bottles strewn around the room. So I haven’t completely kicked the habit.

          5. Crack works well. Beer too.

          6. I love soft drinks. I’m not overweight, but I would love to be able to cut down. How do you deal with the cravings?

            I just switched to diet.

            I’d estimate that fifty of the 90 or so pounds I’m down 2.5 years into my lifestyle change can be chalked up to changing over to diet soda.

            I still drink tons of soda, its just diet.

          7. Every time you have a craving for a soft drink, drink it. But, first drink a large glass of water.

            You’ll end up drinking half the pop.

          8. I have no soda cravings. I drink water with meals and beer in the evening.

      2. The fries are the best thing at McDonalds. Honestly, almost the only reason I ever eat there.

        1. I unfortunately agree. I have a real weakness for fries, bread, and soda. Makes it extremely difficult to eat healthy.

        2. This, their hamburgers are disguisting, their chicken sandwiches tasteless, and their nuggets barely passable but they have just about the best fries you can get at a drive through

          1. The last few times I ate at McDonald’s, I got a McDouble, side salad (with Newman’s Own) and small friends. $3 and change and perfectly satisfying, even to me, as a large person.

        3. Just finished a Mcrib, L fries, and L coke with extra ice. I had to re-allocate some of my breakfast, dinner, and beer calories, but it was worth it.

        4. Try Hardee’s (Carl Jr.’s). In my opinion, the best fast food hamburgers.

          1. Except those damn burgers fall apart about halfway through eating them. Every time.

  16. esidents of Fallujah to expel Al Qaeda-linked fighters from the city.

    Well we were going to, except that we have no weapons, and when we asked them nicely, they chopped off a few heads.

    /Residents of Fallujah

  17. Dear Prudence: Help! My boyfriend won’t read my novel!

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly five years now, and I love him dearly. Here’s the problem: I’m an aspiring closet novelist, and I’ve been working on a book for about a year now. I’ve asked him to read what I have so far, but he refuses. He says he’s not a reader, and what I’m writing about (a family drama) doesn’t interest him. He compares it to his love of cars and my refusal to drive fast with him; he says this is unsupportive of me and hurts his feelings, and basically, why should he have to spend 5-plus hours reading an unfinished manuscript if I can’t drive with him? Prudie, I get motion sickness if I walk too quickly down a hill. I can’t help that. He always comes up with an excuse not to read what I’ve written, and whenever he does mention it, he calls it a “romance novel” (it’s not). I can’t help a bitter part of myself from thinking that he might suddenly get a lot more interested in my novel if I ever make it big, but if that ever happens, I’m not so sure how excited I’ll be to share whatever success I have with him. Am I being demanding and unreasonable, or is it normal to want the feedback of a man I love and also know to be intelligent enough to struggle though one measly book?

    They deserve each other.

    1. I’m an aspiring closet novelist

      Well, a book on closets would probably be really boring. Why don’t you write about something more interesting?

      1. Look, the closet aspires to be a whole room. It’s inspirational and just what this cynical world needs.

    2. *Picks up novel*

      “This is the worst thing I have ever read. Seriously, my brain tried to commit suicide by bashing itself against my skull. I have to break all of your fingers and mangle them horribly for the sake of the human race.”

      This obviously isn’t what she wants, either.

    3. Misery loves company.

      1. I see what you did there….

    4. Am I being demanding and unreasonable…


    5. Maybe he can’t read.

    6. and I love him dearly.

      Not if you write to an advice column about him you don’t.

    7. Perhaps he’s already read a sample of your writing and is trying to be nice to you.

      I have read a sample of your writing – your letter – and it is so self-centered as to be completely uninteresting. Spending time with you isn’t enough? You insist he spend time with you when he is away from you?

      Your problem isn’t your boyfriend.

    8. I know a string of seven words that would get him to read that book – or at least start reading it – in no time :”Read this while I suck your dick”

      I’m pretty sure that half the pleasure he would derive from that would be that she would have to stop talking to him for as long as he can hold out on an orgasm.

  18. So the SpaceX guys found an attractive female engineer to narrate big chunks of their pre-launch webcasts.

    1. Amy Mainzer? Slowly stripping down to her underwear?

      1. Oh, I would watch the hell out of that, um, launch.

        1. I just discovered Sarah Kavassalis, but she has nowhere near the media presence that Mainzer does.

          1. My only problem with Mainzer is that when she’s on camera, I don’t hear a word she says. I’m trying to be all dispassionate and sciency but those eyes, that mouth…

      2. Anything that gives the older guy with little camera presence less air-time is good. I guess I’ve watched enough of these to critique. Hmm.

  19. Mother of god…

    I mean, look, I’m a fan of absurdery as much as anyone, but what the shit is this mess? So, Old Spice “sprays” boys into men, and what constitutes being a man is making out with girls (because only straight men are men, natch), and mothers lose their everloving fucking minds at the idea of their sons being sexually active so they have to stalk them and weep and destroy baked goods, and WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND.

    Of course, I don’t find anything funny about possessive, over-protective parents who meddle in and police their children’s sexuality, whether it’s “jokes” about fathers violently policing their daughters’ sexuality or “jokes” about mothers overbearingly interfering in their sons’ relationships, because, as we all know, I’m the Most Humorless Feminist in all of Nofunnington. So it’s no surprise that my ribs aren’t tickled by adding a kooky song and some weird graphics to what is essentially a narrative about how women’s entire identity is wrapped up in children so mothers of sons lose their shit when their boys turn into men and REPLACE THEIR MOTHERS WITH GIRLS TO HAVE ALL THE SEX WITH.

    1. Something tells me this author puts the word “jokes” in scare-quotes a whole hell of a lot.

    2. I mean, look, I’m a fan of absurdery as much as anyone, but what the shit is this mess?


      Why is every internet feminist a terrible writer?

      1. Editors are tools of the patriarchy.

    3. I showed The Boy that ad yesterday, with his mother sitting nearby. He loved it.

    4. Someone is getting way too angry about a freaking Old Spice commercial.

      1. I still can’t believe the architect who put a shower in his living room.

    5. Why, oh why do you torture yourself (and us) by reading and reposting the febrile rantings of that madwoman? Srsly.

      1. I had sworn off the site, but since I got back to my old routine from the holidays, I clicked on the site out of habit. Then I saw that and had to post it.

      2. Tonio, I’ve been pleading for these guys to ween themselves off this shit.

        I get it’s good to know what the enemy is thinking but these cunts are so far out of moonbat ville it’s not even worth it.

        They’re just batshit crazy.

        1. Reading the random feminist excerpts I see here reminds me of one of the reasons why I don’t mind not being in the US so much. There are a few Japanese women who have tuned in to that ugly wavelength but most of them are English speakers so sticking to the ladies who only speak Japanese generally weeds those out.

    6. The commercial was weird, borderline creepy. It was also effective. By making me unnerved I remembered it far more than most other ads during football.

      This woman is unhinged though. Old Spice is trying to be different, fucking weird, or edgy. They are not trying to offer social commentary.

      Full disclosure; I checked and I own a stick of old spice flavour “Champion”.

      1. Believe in your smelf.

      2. At least you don’t have any Axe.

        1. or hatchet

            1. nicely played!

            2. And my sword!

      3. I specifically buy Old Spice now BECAUSE of their humor. Smell better than yourself? Awesome. I like the little blurbs on the back of the bottles too.

      4. Champion is what I’m wearing right now!

        I also like Aqua Reef, Wolfthorn, and Hawkridge. Fox Crest is just a little too sweet smelling.

        I like the original smell, too, but everyone thinks it smells like old men.

    7. as we all know, I’m the Most Humorless Feminist in all of Nofunnington

      You got that right.

    8. I thought it was ridiculous because their slogan is Smell Come.

    9. Of course, I don’t find anything funny

      Could have stopped right there.

    10. So it’s no surprise that my ribs aren’t tickled

      OK, but who gives a shit?

      Why does anyone care if Lindy (?) finds a commercial funny?

    1. Lightweight

    2. I passed out on a kitchen floor

      Look, it’s one thing to admit that you’ve smoked pot. But publicly admitting you’re a wuss, not so desirable.

      1. This makes me laugh heartily.

    3. He has never bought it?


      I don’t smoke pot but I imagine this would be as annoying as a buddy who.never.once brought over a six pack or bought a round for the guys.

      1. If Dave Weigel was in your house, wouldn’t you be happy to give him any amount of weed he needed to pass out on the floor?

        1. If Dave Weigel was in my house, he would almost certainly be there uninvited. Possibly because he joined a post apocalyptic motorcycle gang and rode pillion with his man during a raid on my home.

        2. If he came to my house, I’d give him some non-comedogenic face soap and some Pro-Activ for his fucked up skin. Nobody deserves to look like that.

    4. Maybe they sneaked him something laced because they can’t stand him, either.

      1. Would DW rise to the level of “human paraquat?”

    5. Pity he didn’t pass out onto, say, a combine harvester.

    6. Come, on! Passed out from weed? I will admit that smoking after being drunk can have this affect but W.T.F?!!

      “I drank 20 drinks and smoked a couple of hits from a joint and the pot made me pass out!”?

      1. Ya. I’ve smoke enough so that moving was difficult. Smoking more than that requires, you know, more movement. But i wasn’t going to pass out from that shit.

        So ya, sound more like he was really drunk, and then he got passed a joint right before he was gonna pass out anyways.

  20. According to a study published in Crime & Delinquency, nearly half of black men and 40 percent of white men have been arrested by the age of 23.

    By today’s rules, I would have been arrested by the time I was six. Back then it was called playing doctor, but now it’s called child sex abuse.

  21. 37% of alt-text gets arrested before old enough to be read.

  22. Barbara Streisand: ACA will make our nation stronger

    The uproar over the cancellation of some current insurance plans ignored the comprehensiveness of these plans. A lower premium does not always equal affordability if the deductible is off the charts. Insurance companies have also been quick to shift blame from themselves to the president. They will do everything in their power to extract as much as possible from your health care dollar. So further state and federal regulations or an optional state single payer system to police insurers may become necessary. The ACA fortunately mandates insurers spend 80 cents of your premium dollar on health care — not padding their bottom lines. Consumers now find insurers sending refunds if they do not comply.

    So what’s in store for our future with the ACA? Republicans would have you believe nothing but socialism and apocalypse. Other developed countries, like Canada and those in the European Union, have various programs to help with their citizens’ health care. This is simply common sense and can benefit all of us.

    Here’s another perspective for 2014: Nearly 9 million women will gain coverage for maternity insurance; individual insurance companies will no longer be allowed to charge higher rates for women simply because of our gender;

    Nothing like a wealthy liberal telling you to suck it up and take one for the women.

    1. I’d say fuck Babs, but hell to the no.

    2. You’ll do as the Shrieking Harpy sez, if you know what’s good for you, prol.

    3. A lower premium does not always equal affordability if the deductible is off the charts.

      Thank heavens all Obamacare plans are low-deductible, right? Right?

      1. 6k per person is low right?

        1. Under Obamacare, it counts as low. Pre-Obamacare, it counted as junk insurance.

    4. I think she means it in the Nietzsche sense–that which doesn’t kill America will make it stronger. See, that’s what all of this horrible stuff Washington imposes on us is about, making us stronger through horrific abuse.

    5. “…women will gain coverage for maternity insurance; ”

      …including my wife, just in time for her 60th birthday. We are so lucky!

    6. “…individual insurance companies will no longer be allowed to charge higher rates for women simply because of our gender;”

      Will women not cost insurance companies more simply because of their gender?

  23. Carriage drivers claim that the carriage ban is a crony capitalist scheme to sell the land the stables are on to a developer.

    Then they get retired. There isn’t anything that’s ultimately deleterious to the animal by pulling, bearing tires on a smooth surface. There is no argument to be made that that’s going to harm the horse whatsoever. You’ve got a group of people who are being fed nonsense. The guy who’s funding all this is a real estate guy.

    His name is [Steve Nislick, co-founder an president of NYCLASS]. He’s interested in buying the land. The stables are located right by the Javits Center and they want to put hotels up in there.

    I would believe this guy but his name is Dave Koch!

    Clearly the carriage industry is yet another tentacle of the Kochtopus.

    1. from the article .. quoting a driver “You would expect that someone who is the mayor would not just be influenced by some advocate.”

      1. It’s so quaint, the belief that politicians care about those that elect them.

      2. That explains so much about the NYC electorate.

  24. Clearly the carriage industry is yet another tentacle of the Kochtopus.

    Dedicated to increasing pollution by any means available!

  25. I know you’re all asking “What is Dave Weigel doing these days”?

    Actually, I’m not.

    1. Is he having his vitals gnawed upon by rats? No? Then I’m not asking.

  26. Rep. Peter King Wants NSA To Monitor Members of Congress in Case They’re Talking To Al Qaeda…..nitor-memb

    King’s political career does not add up. I can’t speak for King, but if I was a politically ambitious Irish-American politician in the North East, I would early on find it to my advantage to get support and be an IRA fellow traveler if not out right member. However, this would be inherently self limiting though necessary. The American intelligence establishment grew out of a relationship with Britain during WW2. Very Anglophile, and that establishment despised the IRA during the 70s and 80s. That is no path to success. What would my options be? Looking at the mob for inspiration, there is the example of Whitey Bulger. He expanded his options by finking on his fellow mobsters. I think I would do the same. If I were entrusted with valuable information from the IRA it would help my career to become an informant giving everything I knew up to the CIA and FBI, and maybe the intelligence establishment will forget all about that black list on IRA sympathizers as it applied to me since I would now be ‘one of the good ones.’ Of course, from that moment on, I would be their bitch and always carry water for them, but every political advancement has a price.

    I can’t speak for anyone else, but that is how I would have done it, if born to similar circumstance and ambition.

    1. I agree with Peter King. Those who support terrorists should be waterboarded and summarily executed.

      1. Especially if they are Congressman. I do hope Peter King will remember to let us know if he sees anyone matching that description.

  27. Ten ways that white feminists allies abuse me.

    1) Engage in a behavior that I stated upsets me, that I didn’t consent to, and claim that it is “funny.” I wrote about this before (On People Who Respond To My Stress With Unfunny, Never Clever “Jokes”), how many Whites will IMMEDIATELY tweet anything I stated that I don’t like or causes me trauma because they think abusing me is “ironic” and “satire.” So if I tweet that people responding to old, painful tweets re-triggers me, the White “ally” will then find an old painful tweet and reply to it. The same Whites who will retweet essays about triggers and consent regularly do this to me in practice.

    1. Use my essays as “well Gradient Lair proves you wrong!” bricks upside the head of extreme bigots and open the door to more trolling for me. Sometimes these White “allies” will be in an argument with a racist White person and will include my links (or even worse, my Twitter handle) in the conversation. It does not matter to them that perhaps what the racist is saying will harm me. They simply want to prove that they know a Black woman writer whose work and existence proves the racist wrong. Being right matters more to them than my well-being. I have to block, ignore, blacklist on Twitter, Tumblr and Disqus?literally hundreds of people a month. Meanwhile this White “ally” finishes their argument and goes on about their life while I have to take the attacks and clean up their mess. (True, men do this with other sexists and even Black women do this with abusive Black men, which also opens the door to trolls. But it in no way compares to how often Whites do this.)

      This person is complaining that other people respect her enough to use her as evidence in an argument.

      Where on earth do you find these people? If you’re this thin skinned you shouldn’t write about politics.

      1. “blacklist”????


    2. I really despise the new use of “trigger.” It’s not the rest of the world’s problem that you’re overly sensitive stupid to shit, sweetheart.

      1. Trigger, please.

    3. What a miserable existence she must live

    4. painful tweets re-triggers me

      Does the person who wrote that really wonder why people would have a hard time NOT having fun by making fun of her?

      If you spend all of your time becoming ridiculous and constantly going on about it, then yeah, it’s likely that people will have a laugh at you. Derp.

    5. Oh dear God.

      This is a bleak picture of white “allyship.” I don’t know what is more bothersome – the fact that most of these people probably do this out of conscious passive aggression, or my suspicion that dominance games, “teasing” and other hurtfulness is how some white people honestly believe you make friends with / engage with someone new. It shows that the divide is huge. It shows that we have a lot of wrongness to unlearn.

      No wonder this person is so pathetic. She says pathetic things and gets patted on the back, thus reinforcing her mental problems and making this seem normal.

      Goddamn. Left-wing ’empathy’ has destroyed the inability of an entire generation to cope with even the most minor annoyances.

    6. So if I tweet that people responding to old, painful tweets re-triggers me. . .

      So, if you’re old, painful tweets ‘retrigger’ you . . . maybe you should DELETE them.

  28. CBS’ 2 Broke Girls racks up FCC complaints from viewers

    According to, 91 viewer complaints regarding the popular CBS sitcom have been filed with the Federal Communications Commission over the last two years.

    Complaints have included instances of “vulgar language and inappropriate sexual references,” charges of the show being “soft porn” and overuse of the word “vagina.”

    “I do not watch much of CBS programs because of the constant sexual innuendo & language and can’t understand why the government over site [sic] is so loose on what can be seen and said on regular TV,” a viewer from Massachusetts wrote to the FCC.
    A November 2012 episode of the comedy rubbed many viewers the wrong way thanks to references to anal sex. “Two casual references suggesting anal sex on a first date,” a viewer in Indiana wrote. “Are there no standards anymore on broadcast television?”

    I am, of course, against government regulation of the airwaves in this manner, but there is something to be said about the lack of sitcoms parents and their kids can watch together during primetime.

    1. I just can’t understand these people who write to the FCC to protest content. Who’s watching broadcast tv anyway?

      1. Old people. On both counts. Network TV is awful.

        1. If old people were watching, you’d think they’d be putting on some sitcoms that appeal to old people.

          I only watch sports and on-demand programming, but I never see a sitcom advertised that would appeal to my mother.

          1. But there used to be tons of sitcoms that were funny without having to be vulgar, that whole families could watch.

            I think it’s just laziness on the writers’ part — it’s easier to make a joke about farts or poo or dick-sizes than to actually write a clever line or amusing situation.

            1. I’d say that Seinfeld is probably the funniest show ever. The Simpsons is pretty good, too, but since it’s a cartoon, it’s only for kids.

          2. Old people are presumed to be set in their ways, such that advertising won’t change their buying habits. Thus the appeal to young viewers, on whom the advertising supposedly works.

    2. show being “soft porn”

      I wish. Can I complain to the FCC because the show is horridly unfunny?

      1. Complain it’s not porny enough?

        1. Hmm, well I suppose the humor and acting are on par with porn. Maybe that counts as soft porn.

          “All the production values of porn, without the sex!”

          1. Semi not safe for work:

            Like PG Porn!

            My favorite one of these is Helpful Bus.

        2. Have you seen Kat Dennings?

          1. Once she gets her teeth fixed, send her over to my house for the appropriate punishment.

    3. Are kids into sitcoms? When I was young, I watched cartoons

      1. According to The Boy:

        Community, Archer, Always Sunny, The Simpsons, Futurama, Robot Chicken and sadly, American Dad and Family Guy.

        He has yet to experience ATHF. I fear he may never return as he was.

        1. But those cartoons have dirtier jokes than any of these sitcoms. I used to wonder why everyone was so slutty in sitcoms then I figured out that people are actually slutty in real life too.

      2. I watched cartoons too, but I would also watch Everybody Loves Raymond with my parents. What I liked about it was that it could be funny without making every joke about sex.

        I’m not saying there’s anything inherently wrong with sexual jokes and innuendos and such, but it seems that there isn’t much on TV that is different from that.

        1. A disproportionate percentage of my viewing is TCM. You should visit the TCM boards and see the bitching from a certain segment every time they show a movie made after about 1968.

        2. It seems today, that all you see, is violence in movies and sex on TV.

        3. I’m not saying there’s anything inherently wrong with sexual jokes and innuendos and such, but it seems that there isn’t much on TV that is different from that.

          I think you just got at the root of why Duck Dynasty is so popular. It’s goofy without being crude.

    4. but there is something to be said about the lack of sitcoms parents and their kids can watch together during primetime.

      Not much though, yawn. Why would primetime be family time anyways?

    5. People still watch Sitcoms?

      Also, does the FAA ever get letters from people who actually watched the show? Because as far as I can see, the letters there were likely written by people told to write them by some group (probably the Parents Television Council)

      1. Wrong three letter agency, Andrew.

        And 91 complaints over 2 years? Tell the 91 complainers to watch something else. Although I guess it’s the FCC’s fault for claiming jurisdiction over (inappropriate) content anyway.

    6. In a country of 300 million, 91 complaints is insignificant.

      1. In the U.S. it is the most powerful of constituencies, The Lowest Common Denominator.

    7. Wouldn’t it be easier to just change the channel?

    8. Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?

    9. Um, who cares when the show is broadcast, it’s called a DVR, get one and learn how to use it.

    10. There’s a lack of sitcoms that parents can watch with their kids because there are a lack of parents who *want* (revealed preference and all) to watch sitcoms with their kids.

    11. How in the fucking world can that show possibly be so popular?

      I don’t get it.

      And yes, primetime sitcoms rely a tad too much on the sexual. It’s pathetic. If you actually ponder it, they’re all whores.

      1. If you actually ponder it, they’re all whores.

        Well, some of us like whores.

      2. Is that show actually popular? Cause I like a lot of shitty sitcoms. But that one sucked since episode 1. I could write a perl script that re interpred I Love Lucy into modern parlance with better humor output than that crap.

  29. Cracked writer creates worst female online dating profile ever to see if she could attract zero messages

    As a child of the Internet and confirmed weirdo, imagine my relief when they finally took that last bastion of in-person awkwardness — dating — to my laptop instead. I’ve been using one of the major dating sites, OkCupid, on and off for about five years now. While it has its perks, being a woman on a dating site means immersing yourself in a disgusting cesspool of exposed nerves, unfiltered testosterone, and daily propositions to engage in sex acts so horrifying, I hadn’t even heard of them before, and I’m from the Internet.

    I got the feeling that a lot of men on that site would message literally any woman who had a profile, but the optimist in me wanted to believe that there was a limit. Maybe there was a woman so awful, so toxic, so irredeemably unlikeable that no one would message her, or if they did, at least they would realize they never, ever wanted to meet her. So I made the OkCupid profile of the Worst Woman on Earth, hoping to prove that there exists an online dating profile so loathsome that no man would message it.

    I did not accomplish my goal.

    You’d have to be stupid not to realize it was a fake profile, so I don’t think it’s a good experiment.

    1. She also used pictures of a model and listed that she was looking for casual sex.

      1. Yeah, I’m not sure how many guys really care about the personality of a model they get to bang once.

      2. And said she drank and did drugs, and would date men up to 60. Yeah, not a fair test.

        1. Claiming that you successfully faked a pregnancy and are collecting child support really should be a deal-breaker.

          1. Not if you weren’t planning on leaving her your phone number or real name

    2. Also, the worst female online dating profile would have ugly photos.

      1. And something about saving yourself for marriage.

    3. I saw that and wondered how many of the guys who responded were figuring it was a gag. Easily a majority, maybe even more.

    4. I presume that even though it’s only four things, this being Cracked they still insist on splitting it into two pages?

    5. That’s exactly what I was thinking.

      It was obvious. Good stab but she missed.

      That sort of experiment takes more subtle and nuanced angles.

  30. I don’t even know where to start with this contradictory mess. Coates is turning into Krugman.

    This part made me laugh, however.

    There may well be intellectuals with more insight. And there are surely public figures with a greater audience. But there is no one who communicates the work of thinking to more people with more rigor and effect than Harris-Perry. Her show brings a broad audience into a classroom without using dead academic language and tortured abstractions

    1. Her show brings a broad audience into a classroom without using dead academic language and tortured abstractions

      Translation: She’s a drooling pseudo-intellectual who managed to trick twelve morons into watching her show.

      1. She’s a drooling pseudo-intellectual who managed to trick twelve morons into watching her show.

        Disciples, if you will. Heh.

    2. I think that’s the first time her name has appeared in the same sentence as the words “thinking” and “rigor.”

      1. Maybe something about thinking and rigor-mortis?

    3. “Her?”

    4. Why Melissa Harris-Perry is America’s foremost public intellectual, and what she means


    5. Melissa Harris-Perry: She mocks Mitt Romney and his adopted black grandson, but when Emory professor Clifton Green braids his adopted daughter from Ethiopia’s hair, MHP and her gaggle of hens get all moist in the panties.

    6. Melitha Harrith-Perry and thinking don’t go together.

    7. NRO argues that Maddow is calling the shots at MSNBC & is the only real adult there:…

    8. Fuck you Coates. Whoever you are.

      She’s total BS. Anyone with a REAL fucking brain could see this in a few seconds.

    9. “no one who communicates the work of thinking …”

      If it seems like work, I don’t think you doing it right.


  31. University of Virginia medical school hires actor to play sick for med students, one student correctly diagnoses him with actual disease

    A University of Virginia medical student who thought he was just taking part in a training exercise is now being credited with potentially saving a man’s life.

    Med student Ryan Jones was participating in the standardized patient program at the medical school. Actors are assigned a specific condition that they pretend they have, then medical students try to figure out what is wrong with their “patients” by listening to their complaints and examining them.

    Actor-patient Jim Malloy was told to portray the symptoms of an abdominal aortic aneurysm, which is when the main blood vessel that brings blood to the abdomen, pelvis and legs becomes enlarged. The condition can grow for many years without symptoms. It is most commonly seen in men over the age of 60 who have emphysema, genetic risks, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, obesity and who were or currently are smokers.

    Left untreated, if the aneurysm expands too quickly it can burst open or leak blood along the blood vessel walls. This could lead to internal bleeding and death. Fast-growing aneurysms that are larger than two inches across are often candidates for surgical removal.

    Would have been funnier if he actually had gonorrhea.

    1. I give an A minus (penmanship counts).

    2. Um you left off the most important paragraph at the end there:

      When Jones examined Malloy, he actually found an abdominal aortic aneurysm. The student initially thought Malloy may have been a decoy, but thought it was best to mention that he detected something real.

      Holy fuck, he had the actual condition he was supposed to be acting out!

      1. ACTING!

        Thank YOU!!

    3. “I gave you gonorrhea because I thought you’d have fun with it!”

    4. I’m thinking Kramer here for some reason.

  32. Pearl clutching over at Slate over teacher eating McDonald’s.

    1. All that hand-wringing is from fat apologists who want to blame fast food or anything but themselves for being fat.

      1. but he’s setting a bad example for the children! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!

        1. So, get a Happy Meal?

    2. The article claims that the teacher’s improved cholesterol is entirely due to the daily 45-minute walks he started doing. I wish he hadn’t incorporated any new exercise during the experiment, because the derpy “fast food is evil” crowd has something to grasp at. He would have lost slightly less weight, but people like the author of this article would need to go through more mental gymnastics to explain why reduced caloric intake didn’t cause the weight loss.

    3. “since eating every meal at McDonald’s is not a sustainable (or affordable) ”

      The fuck it’s not.

      1. Depends on what you get. The numbered meals are getting to cost almost as much as a restaurant dinner these days, but you can find stuff off the dollar menu and spend about $10-12 a day, maybe less if you bring your own bottle of water.

  33. Freedom-y.

  34. And the Best Example This Year of That Progressive Love and Respect We’ve All Come To Love and Respect Goes To…

    Most Republican-led states have rejected the Medicaid expansion, even though it costs them almost nothing to enact and lowers health care costs for their residents. Reactionary voters are just as interested, maybe more interested, in hurting and punishing the liberal constituents of their own state as they are constituents many states over. The idea of a resident of Houston losing a chance to get health insurance delights them just as much, if not more, than if they could deprive a resident of New York City that opportunity. Voter ID laws a pure expression this: An overt attempt to deprive your fellow state residents of their constitutional rights because you harbor so much fear and hatred of the more racially diverse, more liberal urban areas of your state.

    It’s true that as one of those evil libertarian-conservative types, I do delight in anyone losing their healthcare, but I still don’t support ObamaCare — honest.

    1. No kidding. If I delighted in people losing their health insurance, I’d fucking love Obamacare.

    2. How the fuck does that idiot think the Medicaid expansion gets paid for? Rainbows and kittens?

      I don’t really have an opinion one way or the other about voter id laws, but how exactly does it infringe on your constitutional rights? Texas issues photo id’s for free (maybe it’s $7 bucks, I don’t remember). How is that a huge fucking burden?

      1. “but how exactly does it infringe on your constitutional rights”

        I wouldn’t recommend it, but if you REALLY want to know, it is out there on the web. The short version is that it brings back memories of government officials oppressing blacks during Jim Crow.

        Hey, I didn’t say it made sense.

      2. How the fuck does that idiot think the Medicaid expansion gets paid for? Rainbows and kittens?

        The Perfidious Jews Rich?, of course.

        I don’t really have an opinion one way or the other about voter id laws, but how exactly does it infringe on your constitutional rights?

        That’s more or less how I feel about it. You need ID to apply for a job, apply for credit, or drive a car — an adult should have had some experience interacting with at least one of those areas of life. If someone is saying this should not be the case, let him make that argument — but right now, it makes little sense to suggest that it is a serious burden much less a constitutional violation to ask that you prove you are who you say you are before you vote.

  35. nearly half of black men and 40 percent of white men

    Amazing how “49” and “38” go through the journalism machine and come out “nearly half” and “40”.

    1. I obviously don’t know for sure, but bad grammar may be responsible (whoever made the title may have meant to say “nearly half and nearly 40%,” but thought that only the first nearly was necessary).

  36. “An Iowa teacher lost 37 pounds after eating a McDonald’s-only diet for three months.”

    He must be working for the Koch brothers!

  37. Could someone please, for the love of god, explain why feminists view sex as something that is completely different than any other personal interactions you have in a relationship?

    Is it cause it’s sticky? Cause so are the dishes, but no one gets bent out of shape if you ask someone to do the dishes more than once.

    1. Any time you coerce someone, guilt them, or manipulate them in any way in order to get them to have sex with you, that is sex without consent.

      Methinks Olivia is unfamiliar with the definition of consent. People are often manipulated into giving consent. We usually call it “marketing.”

      A woman has the right to withhold sex for any reason or no reason. And a man has the right to tell her to kick rocks and move on to the next one.

      1. They should view it more like a contract. Only instead of a meeting of the minds it’s a meeting of the hips. Such agreements to copulate are voidable if one of the parties is a minor or otherwise unable to contract, agreed to the copulation under duress or fraud, and so on.

      2. define “manipulate”

        1. define “manipulate”

          “You’re so pretty”

          “I don’t usually say this to women, but…[insert bullshit flattery here]”

          “I like your outfit”

          “Yes we can”

          “Hope and change”

          “windfall profits”

          Dammit, I veered off into political manipulation from sex manipulation

          Manipulation: Feeding people bullshit with sufficiently false sincerity to get them to do what you want.

    2. Damn by those criteria I have literally been raped dozens of times, possibly hundreds.

    3. Feminists are selfish. Their convenience in a relationship is more important than the man’s.

    4. Holy shit, I am literally a serial rapist.

  38. Clintonista Richard Socarides: Running Against Female Democrats Is WAR ON WIMMINZ

    “The Koch brothers are targeting all the Democratic women. I mean, this is part of the Republican War on Women. They’re got three women Democratic senators, they’re pouring millions of dollars in it, I do not think that the Republicans are gonna take back the Senate by targeting women and using the money of the extreme right to try to fearmonger these elections.”

    So when you run an election against a TEAM BLUE wimminz, its war. When you fantasize about shitting in Sarah Palin’s mouth, she’s a cunt and she’s has it coming for being TEAM RED.

    Ah, to lack self-awareness. I sometimes wonder how much better and easier my life would be without it.

    1. There are millions and millions of female Republicans, you know.

      1. There are millions and millions of female Republicans

        False consciousness.

        1. I know, I know, but there it is. Starkly defying them and their pronouncements. Heck, there are female libertarians, even.


          2. Where? Where are these “female libertarians”?

  39. Wherein pro-choice logic is abandoned in a strange turn…

    Taking a family member off life support is never an easy decision, but it’s what Erick Munoz believes his wife, Marlise, who worked as a paramedic, wanted[…] but there’s a hitch. Marlise Munoz was 14 weeks pregnant at the time of her collapse. Texas, where the Munozes live, is one of the 12 states in the country that forbids removing a woman from life support if she is pregnant.

    “All we want is to let her rest, to let her go to sleep,” Munoz’s father, Ernest Machado, told the Dallas Morning News. “What they’re doing serves no purpose.”


    The reality, however, is that by holding Marlise Munoz in this state, her family is not being allowed to lay her to rest and start the grieving process properly. Laws like this need to be overturned.

    Forgive my ignorance, but isn’t abortion rights a classic conflict between a woman’s right to exercise bodily autonomy vs a fetus’ right to not be killed arbitrarily? That being the case, how does a woman’s right to bodily autonomy apply in a case where she is for all intents and purposes (certainly from a legal perspective) dead, and certainly unable to exercise control over her body? This seems completely bloody-minded to me, in its complete disregard for the fetus. Any pro-choicers care to weigh in?

    1. If your goal is to legally enshrine the notion that pregnant women are incubators first and humans second, keeping their bodies alive to grow babies long after their minds are gone is a perfect way to do it.

      This amazing bit of illogic prompted me to check the byline. Jesus man, we need a trigger warning for this shit.

      1. That is odd. If she’s dead, anyway, why not save the baby? Wouldn’t the vast majority of mothers want that?

        I find it a little weird that the family doesn’t take the same position.

        1. Right, that’s what I’m driving at.

          If abortion is a conflict of rights between two parties, then when one party is no longer alive then the other should be allowed to exercise their full rights — or so it seems to me.

          How does it violate anyone’s rights to let the child come to term?

          1. The only thing I can think of is that someone has to pay for the life support.

    2. Of course, once the baby is born, the family will want to keep custody of it, completely ignoring the previous months when they were arguing vigorously for its death.

  40. But there is no one who communicates the work of thinking to more people with more rigor and effect than Harris-Perry.

    In the “Thinking is HARD!” Barbie sense, maybe.

    Goat Fucking Jesus, where do thee people come from?

  41. “which can hurt their ability to find work, go to school and participate fully in their communities,”

    Is the vague third thing in there because obviously half of the men in the country are not hobos.

    “Well, half of the men in this country may not be drinking themselves to sleep in the gutter…but dammit, they are not fully participating in their community..however I may define that!”

    1. Didn’t take long for “rape culture,” “abuse,” and “patriarchy” to show up, did it?

    2. It’s not about treating women badly. It’s about conveying the feeling that you are not groveling for them.

      A woman will interpret your groveling as you being inferior. You need to act like you have more options than just her, and that you will be just a-ok if she rejects you, and you can do that without being a scumbag.

      1. and you can do that without being a scumbag.

        Agreed. But its a lot more difficult. And asshole seems to be an easy shortcut to the same result.

  42. Lying with statistics

    In 2006, researchers from the University of Maryland set up a bunch of fake online accounts and then dispatched them into chat rooms. Accounts with feminine usernames incurred an average of 100 sexually explicit or threatening messages a day. Masculine names received 3.7.

    Women get threatening messages directed at them online. Lets pretend that requests to sext in a chat room are the same as violent threats. Feminism101. Conflate harmless (and sometimes even desirable behavior) with rape and murder. This seriously must be the first thing they teach in gender studies classes.

    1. Pretty soon it will be offensive to ask your wife to give you a blowjob.

      1. What’s the point in having a wife if she isn’t going to blow you or do the dishes then?

        I mean, at that point, might as well hire a hooker.

        1. This explains the existence of hookers throughout history.

          After 16 years of marriage and both of us hitting middle age I still prefer sex with my wife to sex with most other women BUT I prefer sex with most other women to zero sex at all.

          1. after 16 years of marriage most likely you are staring down the barrel of ‘no sex at all’.

        2. This explains the existence of hookers throughout history.

          After 16 years of marriage and both of us hitting middle age I still prefer sex with my wife to sex with most other women BUT I prefer sex with most other women to zero sex at all.

      2. That is already case. Long established. The whole POINT of getting that ring is to absolve oneself of bj duties.

  43. So the blacks are wtill the biggest thugs. Not surprised. Genetics I guess.

    1. Et tu, Anon Bot? Et tu?

  44. Did American get a new job?

  45. Let’s see? America has about 5% of the world’s population and 25% of the world’s prison population. As Friedrich Nietzsche said: “Mistrust those in whom the urge to punish is strong.” That would be the good ol’ U.S. of A.

  46. OT:

    Yesterday on my way to lunch I had AM talk radio on and Glenn Beck (yes I know) was talking about how he thinks Peter King is insane/off the reservation etc… in regard to Snowden.

    Beck also talked about how he disagrees with some of Rand Paul’s opinions on Snowden but overall he thinks Rand is right on point and has been for some time on this issue.

    I was really refreshed to hear someone (of what I consider establishment GOP mouthpieces) not talking about how Rand’s foreign policy is insane and actually give the guy compliments on his political ideas.

    I think it is a great sign that the GOP might actually be ready for a shift to freedom.

    Prolly not though.

    1. wow wrong links. I feel like a maroon.

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