Airstrike Kills Wedding Party in Yemen, Boehner Complains About Budget Complainers, California vs. Hot Sauce: P.M. Links

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  • "A toast to the survivors!"
    Credit: Defence Images / Foter.com / CC BY-NC

    Fifteen people in a wedding party in Yemen were accidentally killed in an airstrike (reportedly a drone) because they were mistaken for an al Qaeda convoy. No doubt somebody will get a stern talking to about this somewhere.

  • The Hawaiian health official who validated President Barack Obama's birth certificate has died in a plane crash. Or did she?
  • Apparently California wants riots in the streets. Regulators have halted shipments of Sriracha until January. What next? Banning avocados and cilantro?
  • The United States is threatening to impose sanctions on Ukraine because of its use of riot police to crack down on protesters. Despite citizens' apparent desires to build ties to the European Union, Vladimir Putin is still trying to woo Ukraine to Russia's side.
  • Rep. John Boehner says that conservative groups criticizing the budget compromise have "lost all credibility." He would certainly know from lost credibility, am I right, folks?
  • The 6-year-old Colorado boy suspended and accused of "sexual harassment" for kissing a girl at school has had his "crime" downgraded to misconduct in his school records.  

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  1. The Hawaiian health official who validated President Barack Obama’s birth certificate has died in a plane crash.

    This is getting downright Clintonesque.

    1. Well that depends on what the definition of Clintonesque, is.

      1. It involves numerous unexplained deaths and a trail of bodies all the way back to Arkansas.

    2. Too bad we’ll never know what VINCE FOSTER has to say about all this…

    3. As trailer parks are to tornadoes, so Yemeni wedding parties are to Obama’s Peace Drones. Allahu Akbar.

      1. You win an Internet. Please specify the color, and a drone will carry it to your front door.

    4. Thank God! Sanity is returning to the H&R comments. Now, if Fist can just be first tomorrow morning, the dark rift in the Milky Way will close, Atlantis will go back to its resting place, the pole inversion will be stopped, and the world will return to normal.

      1. No, nothing will be normal until someone reinserts Cthulhu’s Buttplug.

  2. Apparently California wants riots in the streets. Regulators have halted shipments of Sriracha until January. What next? Banning avocados and cilantro?

    Tapatio will have to suffice.

    1. Tapatio will have to suffice.

      It will only suffice if you avoid Asian food until they bring it back.

    2. That crap is flavorless. You have to mix it with Cholula if you want heat and flavor.

      1. Yeah, I admit I don’t know what I’m talking about. I dislike spicy foods and sauces.

        1. Yet another facet of what makes you such A Serious Man.

        2. Aren’t you half Mexican?

          1. Yes, but when it comes to spicy foods my taste buds are decidedly on my Canadian half.

      2. I like Cholula–it’s my staple hot sauce.

        1. Mine too. I keep a stash of dried arb?l chilies in the cupboard in case I run out of sauce.

        2. It’s all about the Sambal Oelek

          1. I have 2 kinds of Sambal in the fridge too. Mandatory for Korean taco night.

        3. Mine too though I like Texas Pete also

    3. It was still on the shelves today. One bottle will last a pretty long time, and I am a heavy user of hot sauces.

      1. Some friends bought 3 6-bottle cases. Presumably to last them until the zombie apocalypse.

      2. I probably have enough, but I feel like being a hoarder before a shortage. I’m also considering being a wrecker, but that’s neither here nor there.

        1. Speaking of hoarders for the apocalypse the FDA is pushing to outlaw antibiotics for animals.

          Time to stock up on your supply of Fish Mox Forte.

    4. I’m gonna see if I can still find some today!

    5. Sriracha is fucking overrated. Discuss.

    6. Cant believe this is news. I understand the Yemen drone strike but Sriracha

  3. The 6-year-old Colorado boy suspended and accused of “sexual harassment” for kissing a girl at school has had his “crime” downgraded to misconduct in his school records.

    Cooties is punishment enough.

    1. The girl’s mother [said] that the school district did a great job protecting her daughter from repeated harassment from the boy.

      Apparently *not*.

    2. That and being added to the Sex Offenders list, of course.

      1. And subsequently, that little bastard is now forbidden to trick or treat.

        1. In this case, being forbidden to go within 50 feet of a Chuck E Cheese is a real punishment.

    3. Funny there was an ad in the margin of the PM links with a girl kissing a boy.

      1. Funny there was an ad in the margin of the PM links with a girl kissing a boy.

        Well, don;t forget the skittles ad…it’s practically a rape-theft:

        Steal the rainbow of flavor

  4. Apparently California wants riots in the streets. Regulators have halted shipments of Sriracha until January. What next? Banning avocados and cilantro?

    Damn, I need to actually go out and do some shopping 🙁

  5. The United States is threatening to impose sanctions on Ukraine because of its use of riot police to crack down on protesters. Despite citizens’ apparent desires to build ties to the European Union, Vladimir Putin is still trying to woo Ukraine to Russia’s side.

    The Ukraine is weak. Look at it, teetering on the brink of destruction. I think it’s time we put the hurt on the Ukraine.

    1. Ukraine is a game to you?

      1. In Ukraine, game play you.

      2. Dr. Groovus learned that Ukraine is no game.

        1. Messing with a Speznatz guy’s daughter is not a good idea.

        2. He did? What does that mean? He came back?

      3. Ukraine is cool in risk. It’s big enough to put all your armies in, and it’s always on the way to somewhere.

  6. Best review of the new Hobbit feature?

    it appears some “critics” (so-called) have taken it upon themselves to attempt to describe the film. But in doing so, they reveal only the limits of their own understanding. It is, frankly, embarrassing.

    1. Did you see the How It Should Have Ended for the first one?

      Goblin Kings with scrotum beards” so true!

    2. It is, frankly, embarrassing.

      The limits of their understanding, or the movie?

      1. Milking a thin volume into 3 movies is completely embarrassing.

        1. Milking a thin volume into 3 long movies is completely embarrassing.

          FTFY

        2. No, watching all 3 is.

          1. I didn’t make it all the way through the 2nd LOTR movie, and quit after that. I’ve no cause to feel bad.

            1. Yes you do.

        3. “Milking a thin volume into 3 movies is completely embarrassing”

          Probably. Although the book was supplemented with Tolkien’s extensive notes mapping out the world he had created as well as plans for subsequent volumes.

        4. And in the process messing up the lord of the rings films.

          Why have two different mutually exclusive scenes of Bilbo finding the ring? Hell the lord of the rings version is only like 30 seconds long…how hard would it have been to just re-film that exact scene with a different actor? Why fucking change it completely?

          Why have Gandalf know about the ring and what it is and what Sauron is planning before he didn’t know it in the other films that chronologically follow it?

          1. Jimmy Smitts will walk by in the ending of the third movie and absentmindedly remark to an underling that they ought to give that wizard a memory wipe.

    3. The National Post reviewer gave it 3/4 stars.

      1. By which I mean 3 out of 4, not three quarters of a star.

      1. was one of them a sex scene? Let me check…

    4. I can not participate in this thread on orders from my doctor.

    5. How many thumbs up does grace get?

      That is sublime.

  7. Fifteen people in a wedding party in Yemen were accidentally killed in an airstrike…

    Don’t send Obama an invite, he’ll RSVP anyway.

  8. Fifteen people in a wedding party in Yemen were accidentally killed in an airstrike (reportedly a drone) because they were mistaken for an al Qaeda convoy.

    What is it with wedding parties and their attractiveness to predatory attacks by wayward drones? Gosh!

    1. B-B-B-Bush?

    2. It’s obviously a cover for terrorism, OM. How many people do *you* know who had their wedding party travel in a *convoy*?

    3. Just wait until the President bombs a gay wedding. Then the Progressives will really be pissed off, probably to the point of a Stern Talking-To. The status quo is just punishment for brown hetero privilege, or something.

      1. Just wait until the President bombs a gay wedding.

        Unlikely in the current theater of operations for Drone Warz I’d say

    4. It’s like tornados and trailer parks.

    5. What part of Obama’s statement “I’m really good at killing people” do you not get?

  9. Yummy yummy HuffPo gun control tears

    How is it that a majority of Americans now believe gun laws should be weakened or remain the same? Part of the answer lies in the degree to which the NRA and the NSSF have continued their grass-roots efforts to mobilize their memberships while the gun control groups, lacking a legislative push on Capitol Hill, have gone back to sleep. The gun folks have become obsessively safety-conscious, just take a look at the NSSF’s Project ChildSafe website and you’ll get my point.

    But the real reason for this attitudinal change is because public opinion doesn’t push politics, it’s usually the other way around: political leadership shapes public opinion. The jump in public demand for more gun control after Sandy Hook occurred because the president made guns an issue in every speech he gave. Once Obama and the Democrats stopped talking about gun violence, so did everyone else.

    If you believe that we need stricter gun laws, then the year since Sandy Hook should give you no comfort at all. You might cynically believe that gun control will remain on the back burner until another massacre takes place, but if it happens when political agendas are focused on other issues, even the slightest attempt to push a common-sense response to gun violence probably won’t get very far.

    1. Interesting how their group think even prohibits them from realizing that other people might actually think for themselves.

      1. yeah. Public opinion is driven by what top men tell the public. Thank God they are this stupid or they might actually be dangerous.

        1. *insert retards and cake quote here*

      2. We share DNA and nothing else.

        1. citation please

    2. “even the slightest attempt to push a common-sense response to gun violence”

      Maybe your idea of “sense” is becomming less common?

      1. “Common sense” is one of those weasel-words phrases.

        1. It really is one of the great manipulative phrases in modern politics.

    3. But the real reason for this attitudinal change is because public opinion doesn’t push politics, it’s usually the other way around: political leadership shapes public opinion.

      From this I conclude that politicians aren’t lying scumbags because they blissfully follow every whimsical change in public opinion. No, they’re lying scumbags who somehow make the public change their opinions.

      This fits right in with their “commercials make people buy things” meme.

      1. public opinion doesn’t push politics

        Um…. so the government has been on the forefront of don’t-ask-don’t-tell, gay marriage, slavery, civil rights, etc, etc, etc…

        Maybe I’m misreading history, but wasn’t the government dragged into most of these areas unwillingly?

    4. I’m going to build on Episiarch’s animism theory here. They don’t see the NRA as a group of people with shared values acting together. Instead, it is some sinister force that acts on its own.

      1. it is some sinister force

        KOCHTOPUS!!!!

        amirite?

        1. Speaking of which, did you get your annual Koch bonus? I bet Nikki did…*rimshot*

          Here all week, etc.

    5. The gun folks have become obsessively safety-conscious

      Like this is a bad thing?

      Oh no! They are keeping their guns safely stored! How can we push the narrative forward without more massacres due to negligent gun storage?!

    6. That’s some horrible thinking right there. It starts from the top!

      What a bunch of retarded sheep.

    7. Here’s the thing, HuffPo’ers:

      I just re-upped my NRA membership. They’re gonna send me a free multi-use pocket knife, a magazine subscription and all the delicious proggie tears I can drink. What have you got to offer?

      1. The SAF sent me a framed certificate and some fucking sweet stickers. You bet on the wrong horse.

    8. But the real reason for this attitudinal change is because public opinion doesn’t push politics, it’s usually the other way around: political leadership shapes public opinion.

      ***THIS IS WHAT STATISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE***

  10. Alabama kicker Cade Foster received a supportive note from former President George W. Bush after a loss to Auburn.

    1. Bush is a nice guy.

      1. Yeah, not a very good president at all, but he really does seem a decent sort.

    2. Class. Act.

    3. If George Bush had never been president and had just sort of bummed around as governor/congress person from Texas, I would actually like George Bush.

      Unfortunately, he had to work his way into the Oval Office where he proved to be a total fuck up.

    4. Heck of a job, Fosty!

  11. Fifteen people in a wedding party in Yemen were accidentally killed in an airstrike (reportedly a drone) because they were mistaken for an al Qaeda convoy.

    It wasn’t accidental. The drone operator was ordered to open fire on the convoy and he did… that’s purposeful.

    Accidental would be he was ordered to hit one convoy and he hit another convoy three miles away.

    1. Exactly. If it were accidental they wouod be able to point to the actual terrorist convoy that was just down the street. But they can’t. This is what “signature strikes” get you.

    2. Something tells me that the root of this problem is a huge gap in cultural awareness. In many middle Easter cultures you can’t have a wedding party without a few Kalashnikovs.

      1. You can say that again.

    3. Something tells me that the root of this problem is a huge gap in cultural awareness. In many middle Easter cultures you can’t have a wedding party without a few Kalashnikovs.

    4. I always wonder when I read stories like this (and God, how depressing it is to realize that I truly do routinely read stories like this): does anything happen to the people responsible? Like, I’m not sure how high up the chain of command the decision to bomb this or that anonymous group of brown people goes, but at the very least there’s the guy who pushed the button. What does he get? 40 years in prison would be something approximating justice, but something tells me it’s more likely just a sit-down with his supervisor on strategies he can employ to avoid incinerating fifteen innocent men, women, and children next time.

      1. I am sure the drone operator felt a little bad about it. Not enough to want to quit/repent/etc., but just a little…

        1. not if our basic training is doing its job. Dehumanizing targets is a cornerstone of proper military training and always will be. He wont be feeling bad for killing the not yet guilty combatants.

          1. What the fuck?!?!

            Why are we worried about how the operators are doing and not about Obama sitting in a room with his neo-McNamara making the decisions on what to bomb?

  12. Ain’t no party like a Yemen Wedding Party, kuz a Yemen Wedding Party don’t stop!

    Unless it’s hit by an ObamaDrone that is.

  13. Would “Jughead” have been less offensive?

    Archie Comics CEO sued for calling male employees “Penis”

    The embattled co-CEO’s filing also mocked the five employees’ claim that she’d used her “gender as a weapon” by yelling “Penis! Penis! Penis!” during a business meeting.

    Silberkleit, they say, invited Hell’s Angels to Archie’s Mamaroneck offices in an apparent effort to “intimidate” them, and has repeatedly inquired about the whereabouts of the handgun and 750 rounds of ammo her husband kept at the office. She’s also stalked the employees and their families, the suit says.
    Silberkleit called the accusations “untrue and twisted.”

    Sounds pretty serious, but don’t worry, she’s got an airtight defense:

    Silberkleit’s lawyer says [the lawsuit] should be tossed in part because white guys aren’t members of “a protected class.”

    1. The best outcome would be for the plaintiffs to lose, only because the entire law was declared uncostitutional.

    2. The embattled co-CEO’s filing also mocked the five employees’ claim that she’d used her “gender as a weapon”

      Stop using sex as a weapon

      by yelling “Penis! Penis! Penis!” during a business meeting.

      Really. Ridicule would be a good response instead of suing.

    3. mac_gregor
      The real news here is there is apparently still a market for Archie comics. I’m floored.

      1. Heterosexuals need comics too.

    4. I wonder if Comic Alliance a NYT funded comic book blog that is constantly claiming that the Comic book industry is a den of sexist misogynist white men is covering this at all?

  14. .22 piercing a soap bubble.

    A soap bubble is pierced by a .22 caliber bullet, creating a shock wave. Different gasses were introduced into the bubbles in order to study the varying speed of sound through different media. The myriad refractions make the bubble resemble a living organism. The photograph required a highly complicated technique to make visible regions of varying refraction and varying density of air. Edgerton and his assistant Kim Vandiver used the schlieren interference method for this optical study. (see “Stopping TIme” (1987)

    1. Nice! can never get enough high speed photography.

    2. What did they think would happen to the soap bubble?

      1. Did they shout STOP RESISTING first?

        1. *Applause*

  15. Not enough impotent gun control rage? Here, have some more!

    Despite widespread support from Americans, legislation to expand background checks failed to pass the Senate in April, falling short of the 60 votes needed to overcome a GOP-led filibuster.

    Members of Congress who supported expanded gun control were fuming. The Connecticut delegation had a tougher task, forced to explain to a grieving state why the government had failed to act.

    “It’s enormously frustrating,” said Rep. Jim Himes, whose district neighbors Newtown. In the weeks after Sandy Hook, his office received an outpouring of phone calls and emails from constituents in Fairfield County — an area Himes characterized as home to affluent suburbanites who weren’t ordinarily engaged in politics. Himes said he “feels a sense of shame” over Congress’ failure when he faces constituents back home.

    “I always feel the sense of embarrassment that, at the federal level, we’ve been incapable of changing the environment in any way that would allow us to push some gun safety measures,” Himes said.

    Murphy said the failure of the background checks bill in April “devastated” Newtown families, but they helped create a political infrastructure organized around gun violence prevention.

    1. I just thought – what if they abolish the legislative filibuster as well as the nomination filibuster?

      1. I am pretty sure we are going to find out.

        Oh yeah and Obamacare. That was passed by ignoring the filibuster.

        So i guess we have already found out.

      2. Unlikely. The democrats don’t control the House, passing stupid shit easier in the Senate doesn’t really gain them anything in the short term, and could hurt them long term as I’m sure they see the likelihood of the Reps taking over the Senate and maintaining the House in 2014, as well as the Presidency in 2016.

        They probably can’t see themselves falling below 40 in the Senate even in ’16, and will want to preserve the filibuster to gum up the works with Republican control of congress and the White House.

      3. In this case?
        Nothing.

        A large number of democrat Senators did not want to cast a vote on gun control because it is a losing issue for them either way.

    2. Murphy said the failure of the background checks bill in April “devastated” Newtown families,

      I am sure it did. It is not like they had anything else to be devastated about.

      1. If my kids had been massacred, the devastation from the massacre would dwarf any failure of legislation I was championing to prevent another one.

        I don’t know whether he’s stupid enough to believe what he’s saying, or if he’s saying it because the voters who support him are stupid enough to believe him.

        I hope it’s mainly the former.

        1. Feelings. Nothing more than feelings.

      2. “forced to explain to a grieving state”
        So, everybody in the state of CT was grieving, and everybody outside of the state of CT was not grieving.
        Got it.

  16. Jay Z has developed quite the regal attitude. Workers in his apartment are advised, upon him entering the room to walk to the nearest corner and face the wall until he leaves.

    1. He said the rapper is near!

  17. Investigation reveals that Chinese hackers successfully baited government ministers at G20 summit with naked pictures of Carla Bruni

    NUDE pictures of former French first lady Carla Bruni were used to break in to the computer systems of dozens of diplomats, it emerged today.

    The shocking security breach was first discovered at the G20 summit in Paris in February 2011 and may be ongoing.

    “To see naked pictures of Carla Bruni click here” said a message sent to those attending, who included finance ministers and central bank representatives.

    Ms Bruni, a former supermodel who became President Nicolas Sarkozy’s third wife in 2008, was well known for taking her clothes off in her early career.

    This prompted many to open an attachment which turned out to be a ‘Trojan Horse’ with an embedded virus, although all recipients could see were the X-rated photographs.

    Once accessed, it infected the computers of senior officials as well as forwarding the offensive email on to others.

    “Almost everybody who received the email took the bait,” said a government source in Paris, saying that this included representatives from the Czech Republic, Portugal, Bulgaria, Hungary and Latvia.

    1. You know who else liked to bait people with pictures of Carla Bruni (and Bar Rafaeli, et als)?

      1. Hitler?

      2. Oh, here we go! Someone’s too good for the Daily Mail!

      3. dudes be ‘baitin

    2. What kind of monster hasn’t seen Carla Bruni naked?

      1. I was going to say me, but Google Images fixed that right quick.

      2. thanks, now I feel so low.

      3. She’s just the best.

        1. Fuck, I was thinking of Carla Gugino for some reason.

          Carla Bruni is a hag in comparison.

    3. Couldn’t they just google the pics? Who is dumb enough to download some unknown attachment?

      1. They are chinese. They are not used to having unfettered access to google?

        1. The chinese were the hackers, not the ones who were duped.

          1. ah, reading comprehension fail on my part.

      2. The same guys who get “kick me!” signs taped to their asses.

      3. When the Anna Kournikova virus went around, we all found out who in the company was clicking on it.

    4. Why would politicians and other top men eant to look at nude pics of the wife.of one of their colleagues whehn they have all the hookers they want milling around the Important International Conference?

  18. http://io9.com/tom-cruises-war…..1481239284

    New Tom Cruise Sci-Fi Action movie looks neat, but I have to agree with io9 here, you have the rights to a book titled All You Need Is Kill, and you go with the lamely bland Edge of Tomorrow? This is why no one takes Scientologist seriously.

    1. I agree. Oblivion was dissapointing but I think this will be good.

      Anyone else seen the Godzilla trailer? I never used to like Godzilla but I’m stoked for this. It’s got Vancouver getting what it deserves AND Heisenberg! Hopefully there will be gratuitous footage of Canucks fans getting crushed and gored.

      1. Oblivion was dissapointing but I think this will be good.

        I liked Oblivion. though it may have simply been because everything else this year sucked so bad.

        1. It was boring and the plot had more holes than Swiss cheese.

          1. It was boring and the plot had more holes than Swiss cheese.

            Why would the plot have much Swiss cheese?

    2. Neat? You mean like stay free mini-pads with a Russian accent? Or like in neat-o, big daddy!?

      1. First I’ve heard of them. Do the talking tampons say things like, ‘By not donating to charity, you indirectly murder thousands of people every day!’?

        1. It’s just been so long since I’ve heard anyone use the word ‘neat’, that I tried to get some context for it. Then I remembered a tampon commercial from the 70s, I think, maybe early 80s, with a Russian woman talking about them and saying that they were ‘how you Americans say… real neat’. Seriously, there was a commercial like that, I was NOT stoned on pot all the time, damnit!

          1. I’ve been using ‘neat’ in conversations with people lately instead of ‘cool’, like, ‘neat story, brotha’ to throw them off their game. It works fabulously because it is semi-archaic.

            1. peachy!

              1. Remember that time on the Brady Bunch when Mike really got into On the Road? Me neither, but that would have been a great episode with phrases and metaphors mixed like keys at a swinger’s party.

              2. Capital!, even.

  19. Fifteen people in a wedding party in Yemen were accidentally killed in an airstrike (reportedly a drone) because they were mistaken for an al Qaeda convoy. No doubt somebody will get a stern talking to about this somewhere.

    Is this the same story as 1970s El Salvador with some minor name changes?

    1. Hopefully.

      1. Yeah, it would be awesome if it ended in a civil war that left over 100,000 people dead (hell, adjust for population differences and that’s more like 2 or 3 million dead)

        /sarc

        1. The bad guys lost and that’s what matters.

          1. There weren’t any good guys in that war, not that it matters, because your argument is ridiculous and disgusting.

            I guess World War II was a great event for humanity, since the Nazis and Imperial Japanese lost in the end? It’s not like the tens of millions who died were real people or anything? Just more spankbank material for you to jerk off your warboner to childish fantasies about “the good guys” beating “the bad guys.”

    1. as the statute of limitations timing has lapsed.

      That didn’t work for those old dudes who were guards at Auschwitz, why should LEOs get a different treatment for torture and false imprisonment?

    2. Many other similar cases are under.investigation, but the perpetrators cannot be sued or charged, as the statute of limitations timing has lapsed.

      He could kill them, get arrested, convicted and then sentenced to time served.

    3. It was in yesterday’s PM links, I believe.

      1. Oh. Well, I wasn’t around for that.

    4. This was covered yesterday.

  20. Fifteen people in a wedding party in Yemen were accidentally killed in an airstrike

    I wonder if that made them hate us for our freedoms a little less?

    1. Our freedom to vote for one of our own who then has an unrestricted license to kill them indiscriminately? Democracy, ain’t it the best!

    2. Well they’re dead so they’re not hating anything.

  21. Prison employee with lengthy arrest record gets job back in settlement

    http://dlvr.it/4VTQN4

    1. Just think of it as a work release program.

  22. Spelling, how does it work?

    Silly bigorts. Everyone knows that should be “it’s”.

    1. bigorts

      *squints*
      not sure if super cereal

      1. Did you click the link?

        1. yes…two funnies make an un funny i guess.

          1. 🙁

            This may have tickled me a little extra because I sent it to our very liberal report editor and heard her brain break.

    1. We’re now on 4 straight links with this story. Wonder if that earns anyone a prize.

      As I said yesterday morning when people weren’t getting sarcasm: Obviously this kid deserved to get off. He’s rich! Besides, we need the jails for truly dangerous people, like the ones who put substances in their body that we don’t approve of.

      1. He will end up in prison. No way someone who is that big of a narcissistic fuckwad meet the terms of his probation.

        1. that big of a narcissistic fuckwad

          Future president?

          1. Future president?

            He should definitely go into politics, so that he can enjoy a lifetime of worry free criminal behavior.

            1. Or policing.

          2. Nah, killing someone with a car disqualifies you from being president.

            He may, however, become a lifelong Senator.

        2. And why would he be held responsible for that? Why couldn’t he just pull the same argument that being a spoiled fuckwit means he isn’t responsible for anything he does?

          1. The prison system is a bit more hard nosed about such things. Your ability to offer such defenses in probation violation cases is a bit more limited.

      2. I’m a busy man. Didn’t have time to consult previous threads to see if a story was linked there that more appropriately belongs in links section.

        I can haz a forgiveness?

        1. Just remember, sarcasmic is relentlessly seeking the ever elusive next hat tip, and not only is it likely that he already posted it, but he’ll also be here to remind you of it in 3…2…

    2. Wouldn’t fifteen or twenty years in the can be a good cure for allfuenza?

    3. And I thought only elected politicians and unelected bureaucrats were immune to all prosecution under the law.

    4. Why is it so hard for some judges to understand their job description?

  23. Fifteen people in a wedding party in Yemen were accidentally killed in an airstrike (reportedly a drone) because they were mistaken for an al Qaeda convoy. No doubt somebody will get a stern talking to about this somewhere.

    They hate us for our freedom.

    1. What the Norks need is a Preatorian Guard to routinely off the person in power for another conniving sumbish. That will make them more entertaining than any other political system in the world. The straight up Stalinist purge is less fascinating to stare at.

      1. Brush up on your Korean history. They’ve run that scenario many times over the past thousand years.

  24. Budget deal, bearishness, send gold tumbling:

    http://www.forbes.com/sites/ki…..r=yahootix

    1. Bitcoin price unaffected.

  25. Hard to tell who I hate more, the insurers or their regulators in this story about how premiums continue to rise in FL even though they haven’t paid a major storm or flooding claim in 6 years now and reinsurance costs are off over 25%.

    Although my personal home insurance runs about the same as my property tax, both of which cost about 1% of my home value. SLD, I shouldn’t have to pay either, but nor do I feel I’m being ripped off.

    1. Brett L|12.12.13 @ 4:48PM|#
      “Hard to tell who I hate more, the insurers or their regulators in this story about how premiums continue to rise in FL even though they haven’t paid a major storm or flooding claim in 6 years now and reinsurance costs are off over 25%.”

      Government cartel?

      1. Right. Although the people bitching about insurance companies choosing to buy more reinsurance coverage are a late addition to the list of people I hate in this article.

    2. Does FL require home insurance?

      1. Sorry, that’s my fault. Actually, its a term of my mortgage and not forced on me by anyone. And I would carry it anyways. I just let my hate get out from under me there.

    3. What is unlibertarian about home owners insurance? Are you actually required by law to carry it or is it part of your, voluntary, mortgage agreement?

  26. Writer who wanted Santa to stop being a white man responds to critics

    Santa isn’t real.

    Sure…Santa is loosely based on Saint Nicholas, a fourth-century Greek bishop known for secret gift-giving. But while the names “St. Nicholas” and “Santa Claus” are often used interchangeably, modern-day Santa hardly resembles his supposed inspiration, who was depicted as tall and thin and, you know, Greek.
    […]
    Finally, changing Santa does not mean we’re being “politically correct.” It means we’re expanding our perceptions of the “norm.” The argument that Santa must be white spills over into conversations about other, equally fictional characters. Can James Bond or Spider-Man be played by people of color? Why not? And yet some people will tell you?believe me?that they have to be white. Of course, some people also believe that characters who were written as people of color are not actually people of color. Which goes to show how deeply rooted the idea of “whiteness” as the default really is. And that presumption carries over into our everyday lives as well, sometimes with sad results.

    If Santa can be any color because he’s fictional then can’t the same be said of any character?

    Who should play the white version of Shaft? How about a Tyler Perry comedy with an all-white lead cast?

    1. How about a Tyler Perry comedy with an all-white lead cast?

      Funny you should mention that.

    2. Santa isn’t real.

      WHAT?!

      1. Santa isn’t real.

        But Satan, well…that’s another spelling

    3. Why a penguin? Clearly Santa is an Eskimo.

      1. Soon he’ll be a Canadian if someone doesn’t stop them. And then he’ll revert to being a white dude anyway.

    4. The Lone Ranger was based on an African-American US Marshall, not a white Texas Ranger:

      http://www.cnn.com/2013/08/06/…..an-reeves/

      …similarities such as their gray horses, penchant for disguises, use of American Indian trackers, and unusual calling cards — Reeves gave folks a silver dollar to remember him by, while the Lone Ranger left silver bullets.

      1. “I haven’t been able to prove conclusively that Reeves was the inspiration for the Lone Ranger, but he was the closest person in real life who had these characteristics.”

        The pathetic thing about this is Reeves’ story is compelling enough on its own–Burton shouldn’t have to draw some fantasy link to a pop culture icon to make it interesting.

    5. James Bond, maybe. If the fan theory that James Bond is a codename is true. Spider-Man, on the other hand, was created with a single identity and history. An alternate-universe Spider-Man, maybe.

  27. Writer who wanted Santa to stop being a white man responds to critics

    Santa isn’t real.

    Sure…Santa is loosely based on Saint Nicholas, a fourth-century Greek bishop known for secret gift-giving. But while the names “St. Nicholas” and “Santa Claus” are often used interchangeably, modern-day Santa hardly resembles his supposed inspiration, who was depicted as tall and thin and, you know, Greek.
    […]
    Finally, changing Santa does not mean we’re being “politically correct.” It means we’re expanding our perceptions of the “norm.” The argument that Santa must be white spills over into conversations about other, equally fictional characters. Can James Bond or Spider-Man be played by people of color? Why not? And yet some people will tell you?believe me?that they have to be white. Of course, some people also believe that characters who were written as people of color are not actually people of color. Which goes to show how deeply rooted the idea of “whiteness” as the default really is. And that presumption carries over into our everyday lives as well, sometimes with sad results.

    If Santa can be any color because he’s fictional then can’t the same be said of any character?

    Who should play the white version of Shaft? How about a Tyler Perry comedy with an all-white lead cast?

    1. The guy has so many critics he had to respond to them twice. :-p

      1. Blanta Claus

    2. And Harry Hannukah? Can we get Toshiro Mifuni?

  28. The ANSWER to SF’s housing ‘problem’: Get government planners to make San Jose as desirable as SF!
    “Could the key to SF’s affordability crisis lie 50 miles south?”
    […]
    Walkable neighborhoods are built to accommodate people, with transit, sidewalks, parks and a blend of art museums, bars, bookstores, concert venues, grocery stores and restaurants. Additional homes and a more urban texture could help make San Jose more attractive to the tech workers”…
    http://blog.sfgate.com/techchr…..les-south/
    Don’t fret; this is just one more thread-worn lefty hired by the Chron; his prescriptions will go down the drain just like all the others.

    1. Since SF is cold and foggy, SJ is already more desirable, and closer to high paying tech jobs.

    2. The author of that remarkably stupid column seems to exist in some kind of alternate universe where everything from Daly City to Gilroy is undeveloped open space, and San Jose itself is a quaint small-town crossroads.

      He evidently does not realize that San Jose boasts a larger population than San Francisco. He is blissfully unaware that the South Bay is suffering from an affordability crisis of its own. Mrs. FYTW and I just spent four months house-hunting and were gobsmacked to discover that it’s impossible to find a middling-sized townhouse (3BR, 2BA, 1500 sq ft or so, plus maybe another 100 sq ft patio), never mind a detached home, around here for less than half a million dollars. We realized that, unless we’re prepared to live in a trailer park, we’ve been priced right out of the Gay Bay; we’re looking to move for parts north, near Seattle, within the next five or so years.

      1. FYTW|12.12.13 @ 5:44PM|#
        “The author of that remarkably stupid column seems to exist in some kind of alternate universe where everything from Daly City to Gilroy is undeveloped open space,…”

        He’s been emoting for several years now, and he takes the title of ‘Dotcomentary’ for what is nothing more than lefty rants occasionally dealing with people who work in tech.
        The Chron isn’t long for the world, so he’s circling the drain with the rest of them.

  29. So I hear BF4 basically sucks as much I expected it to. ‘The EA Effect’. Could be the title of a neo-horror movie.

  30. Yesterday was a good day for freedom. Mexico is undertaking a hugely important reform of its energy sector and Uruguay is legalizing MJ.

    1. And Paul Ryan helped slash the federal budget so deeply, there won’t be anything left to cut for years.

      1. Why, I heard the O-phones are no longer available in custom colors!

      2. Do you piss on all the food you can’t eat at parties, too?

  31. Pope Still Hates Rich People

    But we do not spend enough time down in the shit hole that is yahoo commenters:

    …It simply says that if a company wants to pay the executive more then also increase the pay of the lowest wage earner thus showing that the company values every employee and not just the executives. This would also increase the desire of the executives to want to increase profits so that they can increase the wage on the lowest wage earner so their wage can go up which would still go up by more dollar for dollar than that lowest wage earner’s pay.
    It actually makes perfect sense. This is a way that companies could actually pay a livable wage to the lowest paid employees and remain profitable which would also lead to lower turn over, higher productivity as those lowest paid employees would be happier in the work place which has already been proven to increase productivity.
    This is not taking from the rich to give to the poor but rather showing that the success of any company should be shared by all that are a part of that success from the executives down to that lowest paid worker because they all are a part of the success or failure of a company. That is simply good economic policy.

    1. “This is not taking from the rich to give to the poor”
      Right. It’s sort of telling the rich to pay or they’ll go to jail. So it’s not technically…
      Oh, the hell with it.

    2. So it’s wrong to consider t0 consider Pope Francis’ views in the light of statements of previous Popes, but it *is* OK to link his views to the views of some Yahoo…commenter.

      1. What, I don’t understand.

        Anyway, fuck the pope.

        1. I cited prior popes’ statements to give context to Francis’ remarks; you cited a Yahoo commenter.

          Here’s what Francis said:

          ow.ly/rHO6W

            1. I agree. He should ditch the fucking hats.

            2. Are you applying for membership in the Swiss Guard or something?

            3. No no, let’s try this:

              http://bit.ly/JhH5k

              1. Ed, just do the final link instead of the url shortener stuff. People like to know what they’re clicking into and it’s one less step of complexity for getting a link right.

                There was a story a while back where someone emailed out a shortened url but missed the last letter for the link and sent their whole family to raunchy porn or something.

                1. All right, I should have known that Internet shortcuts are as bad as spiritual shortcuts –

                  http://www.vatican.va/phome_en.htm

                  1. Yay, I did it! I get my chocolate chip cookie!

                    1. And my solid gold St. Christopher medallion.

                    2. The manual code for a basic link is easy to remember. Replace brackets with carats as needed

                      [a href=”url”]hilarious descriptive text[/a]

  32. 82 year old Colombian woman goes to doctor for x-rays; discovers 40 year old calcified fetus inside her

    A 40-year-old foetus has been found in the body of an 82-year-old woman.
    The Colombian woman went to hospital in Bogota suffering from abdominal pain.
    It was only then that doctors discovered the calcified foetus or lithopaedian inside her body.
    Lithopaedian, also known as stone baby, is a rare syndrome that can occur when the foetus implants outside the uterus.
    If the baby becomes too large to be absorbed back into the body, it undergoes a process of mummification, with barriers of calcium protecting the mother from the decaying foetus.
    The 82-year-old woman has now been transferred to another hospital to undergo surgery.

    Talk about a late-term abortion.

    1. lithopaedian

      Sounds like the creature in Alien.

    2. Is her son the Kwisatz Haderach?

    3. Did you read the comments on the original story page? Some idiot claimed it was the fault of the Republican “War on Women!”

  33. Please enjoy this essay on the essential principles of libertarianism on Shrike’s personal blog. Allow me to except:

    1) No Christfags allowed. For starters, libertarianism is defined by not believing in God. Think about it: How can I be free if you believe in something higher than me? An idiot Christfag might answer something something blah blah blah nobody cares, but this can be easily refuted by asking the simple question, “So if God is so great, how come all wars in history were started by the pope?” Simply put, believing in God is a form of violence, so libertarianism necessarily means destroying religion, not tolerating it. By the way, I’m pretty sure Rand Paul is a Mormon or something.

    1. Shreek has a blog?

      1. And someone bothers to read it?!

      2. Yes. And a link you can click for naked pictures of Carla Bruni.

        1. No way. I have already seen those.

    2. Given we’re free market capitalists, if we pay you, will you stop posting excerpts now?

      1. You don’t have the Bitcoins for it.

    3. This is pretty ham-fisted but okay.

    4. No guns or Mexicans, and ‘freed’ markets. LOL.

      That site has to be a joke, but if it weren’t, my next guess would be that it’s the unhinged creation of our very own beloved PB.

      1. I know the guy who did this, and I’m positive that ol’ Pluggers is one of his inspirations.

        1. That entire site is fucking hilarious!

      2. Ok, I just read the entire page. That is some damn funny stuff, whoever did it. Far too creative for shreek.

    5. Is this really BP? It sounds so much like him for sure.

      1. No way, read the entire thing, and the rest of the posts there. It’s a parody, and way too creative for the dullard shreek.

        1. Fucking hilarious!

    6. How can I be free if you believe in something higher than me?

      WOW. We all knew that the shrieking imbecile was a totalitarian shit-stain but who expected it to say it so directly.

      It is a “classical liberal” who believes it’s Liberty depends upon the enslavement of others? It isn’t just stupid, it is also evil.

    7. Soooo,

      I checked out the rest of that blog and have no idea what it’s supposed to be. Is it satire, and if so who’s being panned? It reminds me of the caricature of libertarians put forth by socons, but it seems written by a progressive idiot like shrike.I do entertain the possibility that it’s done by earnestly by some retard like, shrike.

    8. Are we sure it is the real Shrike or is this just someone spoofing shrike?

      The first is that there are no differences between men and women, and the second is that women are pretty much better than men at everything.

      I am thinking it is a spoof.

      1. Yes, it’s a spoof.

        1. But I’m not a bigot agaisnt all religions. Some religions are perfectly valid cultures because their followers are predominantly nonwhite, and when I think of them, I think of exotic clothes, interesting architecture, and mysterious music. In particular, Islam is such a religion. One of the first things that clued me into how tolerant and progressive Islam is when I heard Freddy Mercury, noted gay man, sing an Islam-inspired song:

    9. Universal health insurance. This one is a no-brainer, of course. What does the word “free” even mean if you can’t apply it to “health care”? While individual libertarians quibble over the details of just how exactly universal health insurance would work in a freed market, we all agree on the essential features: Giving it to everyone, covering sex changes, federally regulated exchanges, price controls, and voting for Obama.

      97% on the libertarian purity test.

  34. Plastic surgeon performs breast augmentation on his own daughters

    A pair of American sisters have taken the term ‘Daddy’s girls’ to a whole new level. For Charm and Brittani Niccole’s dad didn’t just give his blessing when they wanted boob jobs ? he performed the operations himself.

    How sweet (not!). Or perhaps it actually makes sense? After all, who is more protective of a daughter than her own dad, especially if that dad is a top plastic surgeon?
    […]
    For dad Michael has been, er, enhancing his daughters’ appearances ever since they were 10 years old when Charm went under his knife to have her protruding belly button reshaped.

    Now 25, her dad has now given his little princess breast augmentation to take her from a 32B to 32C. Sister Brittani first had breast surgery as an 18th birthday gift, when she went from an A cup to C. Then her dad narrowed the bridge of her nose for her 21st birthday present.

    Weird? Not to the sisters. They are so pleased with the work they have had done that they are becoming walking advertisements of their dad’s clinic and recommending it to pals.

    1. Still, it’s a hell of a lot better than being a proctologist’s kid.

      1. Oh, and, in:re the referenced article (or the pictures therein): Yowza.

        1. or the pictures therein

          Are we sure the taller daughter was not originally a man?

    2. Charm and Brittani Niccole

      Never has a parent tried so hard to drive his daughters to the stripper pole!

      1. At least it might get them out off his payroll.

    3. Judging by the brunette’s face, I’ll wager this isn’t the first time daddy has operated on her.

    4. Given the veritable chasm in appearance of those girls, I’d recommend a paternity test more than plastic surgery.

      Although the blond is a definite would bang in my book.

      1. Per the article (some of us read for the articles, he said huffily) they’re both adopted. (and 25).

        1. You guys link to a story about boobs and expect me to focus on words when there are photos available for me to judge the worthiness of the boob-wearer.

      2. Unsurprisingly the sisters, who were adopted by Michael and wife Penny as babies, have attracted criticism about their decision to cosmetically alter their appearance.

        And besides, the brunette might be a man, baby!

        1. And besides, the brunette might be a man, baby!

          That was his first surgical gift to her.

    5. The stigma around cosmetic surgery seems puritanical to me. They’re not children, they can decide what they want to look like.

      1. I agree. If he did to his 14 year olds, that would be different. But these women are adults.

        1. Sure, but it seems to me that it would be more ethical to hand the job over to a trusted colleague.

          1. Meet my trusted colleague, Mr. Woody Allen.

    6. That’s sorta creepy.

    7. To me it would be stranger if he was against his family members getting plastic surgery. It’s his line of work, why would he go into it if he wasn’t totally comfortable with the idea of it?

  35. Comedian bakes iPhone shaped cookies, gets pulled over.

    No laws are broken, but the officer is now pissed. Officer goes back to his cruiser, comes back and arrests him for unpaid parking tickets.

    http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy…..00407.html

    1. Luckily, his dog was not in the car.

    2. What kind of idiot doesn’t make sure his sheet is clean before baiting the cops?

    3. Yahoo Shine couldn’t reach Liedtke for comment, but we hope he learned his lesson!

      …What lesson? Are they scolding him?

  36. I see this on the side bar: MSNBC’s Ed Schultz Received at Least $177,000 From Labor Unions in 2012.

    Isn’t it his standard MO to accuse libertarians of being on the take? Yup, projection isn’t just a river in Africa.

    1. But Ed does it for the right reasons!

      1. His bribes are uncorrupted by TEH EVUL KKKORPORASHUNZ AND PROFITZ!1!1!

  37. Funniest name for a hot sauce is “woman scorned”

    never tried it though.

    1. There’s a local hot sauce made by some guys who used to be members of a cover band named “Dread Zeppelin.” The sauce is called “Stairway to Hell” and it’s pretty damned yummy.

      1. I saw that band live in college. They were a four piece band with an Elvis impersonator as a lead singer that did reggie covers of Zeppelin songs.

        They were actually quite skilled musicians and managed to pull it off.

        1. Yep, those are the guys. Interesting bunch!

        2. Dread Zeppelin fucking rocked. Zeppelin covers sung Elvis style? You can’t fucking beat that.

          1. Like I said, they could play. Hack musicians could have never made something that strange work.

            1. Thirded. Dread Zep was awesome.

        3. I saw them back in college too. Some good bands passed through the scene back then.

        4. They played in Chicago a few weeks ago, or were scheduled anyway.

      2. Speaking of bands with hot sauces, the best Mexican food hot sauce I ever had was created by Dexter Holland of The Offspring and called Gringo Bandito. Highly recommend as it manages to bring a strong heat while still retaining the authentic flavor of the spices.

    2. No, it’s Ass in Antarctica.

    1. That is awesome.

    2. Not until now. But the result is pretty cool. Like a year round Xmas tree.

    3. Awesome. I have a couple of.massive anthills.on my property and I think I’ll try this.in the spring. I wonder how they calculated the amount of metal needed–trial and error? I guess you could estimate the cylindrical volume from the diameter of the hill and then take, say, 30% of that.

      Sucks to be the ants though. But if they’re fire ants, fuck ’em.

    4. Fuck you, ants.

      “Fuants.”

  38. Norwegian study suggests that bisexual women are more inclined to mental and physical health problems

    Bisexual women have more health problems than people of any other sexual orientation, new research suggests.
    Compared to heterosexual people, bisexual men and homosexual people, bisexual women have more mental health problems, poorer general health and more sexually transmitted diseases, the researchers found.
    However, the quality of life of gay and bisexual people – when compared with heterosexual people – has improved dramatically during the last decade.
    The research was commissioned by the Norwegian Directorate of Children, Youth and Family Affairs.
    ‘The similarities are greater than the differences regarding quality of life. That suggests that the world is moving forward,’ said Dr Kirsti Malterud, one of the researchers behind the study.

    1. However, the quality of life of gay and bisexual people – when compared with heterosexual people – has improved dramatically during the last decade.

      Well that must be awkward for the people who used to claim mental health issues were inherent in “the homosexual lifestyle.”

      1. Yeah, who knew the freedom to be who you are in both public and in your personal life would lead to be better mental health outcomes?

        1. I dunno, it’s just so counter intuitive.

        2. Unless there is an exceptionally high amount of stigma for bisexual women, compared to other orientations, logically there has to be more to the high mental health problems with that group than just a lack of freedom.

          1. Well I do think bisexual women are the most likely to to be judged as being insincere in their sexuality. A lot of people think they’re just “experimenting” or afraid to come out as lesbian. The latter may also affect bisexual men, but I think it’s less common for them to be accused of the former. Now I don’t know if that for sure can or would cause mental problems, but it’s possible.

      2. I’ll leave it to science, happy to find the research making the hypothesis diminish substantially in validity, but even if there existed a link between mental stability and sexuality that is no justification for policies that treat bisexuals differently. That to me is the important point, mental stability is over rated as a value of human life criteria, or else why would we let any woman roam free? Only those prone to violence need any special attention, the rest of us should be left to our own devise to be as fucking nuts as we want to be. Let the freak flag fly high!

  39. For those who wondered Has anyone ever gotten away with killing a police officer in self defense?” hre is the link.

    In February 1989, police in Titusville, Florida raid the home of 58-year-old Charles DiGristine, a retired painter. As a flashbang grenade detonates near the front door, DiGristine’s wife screams, and DiGristine runs to his bedroom to get a handgun. Officer Stephen House, dressed in dark clothing and a black mask, charges into the bedroom with his gun drawn. DiGristine shoots and kills him. Police raided on information from an anonymous informant that the house was being used by armed drug dealers. They found only a small amount of marijuana belonging to DiGristine’s son. DiGristine was charged and tried for first-degree murder. A jury acquitted him. When DiGristine then filed suit against the city for the raid in 1990, the Titusville city manager responded, “It appears from the publicity achieved by filing very close to the anniversary date of this occurrence that it fits with the overall plan of greed and publicity.” Sources: “Man Innocent of Police Murder During Drug Raid,” United Press International, August 17, 1989. Lynne Bumpus-Hooper, “DiGristine Sues Titusville Over Drug Raid,” Orlando Sentinel, February 15, 1990.

    From Botched Paramilitary Police Raids map at Cato.

    Click on the orange “pin” next to Central Florida.

  40. OK wow man lets rollthat beautiful bean footage!

    http://www.Privacy-Planet.com

  41. Come on, Reason. “Wedding party”? You’re really going to repeat Standard Lie #135 with full credulity? Seriously?

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