Friday Funnies: No Trans Fat For You

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[Fist of Etiquette]

And then a death panel.

[invisible furry hand]

"And you know what they call a... a... a Tofu Burger with Large Broccoli in Paris?"

[db]

baguette de merde?

[Ted S.]

NEEDZ MOAR LABELS!

[Swiss Servator, Original Gnome]

Always, Ted S., they always do...

[Fist of Etiquette]

Both organizations have clowns for figureheads.

[Swiss Servator, Original Gnome]

+1 big red nose

[db]

The RNC, if it has half a brain among it, should be making it clear to all republican incumbents and hopefuls that they are to keep their traps shut for a good long while. Because with all the crazy shit going on with the Obama admin right now, the next gaffe by a Republican is going to be treated as the scandal of the century.

[Live Free or Diet]

The RNC, if it has half a brain among it,

There -- right at the start -- is the flaw in the plan.

[db]

Well, there you go. Should be good for popcorn sales though.

[Doctor Whom]

Indeed. My Obot acquaintances have made it painfully obvious that they are desperate for any distraction from their failed messiah.

[Lord Humungus]

Gaffe-Prone Rand Paul didn't cite a reference in a speech!!!

[Auric Demonocles]

Well he did, but it was the wrong page number!

[Certified Public Asskicker]

McDonalds, where what you want is fuck you that's why.

[MJGreen]

Pop? POP!? What the fuck is this shit?

[mad libertarian guy]

Seriously.

[SweatingGin]

Fuck you, it's pop. Soda goes in a Tom Collins.

[wareagle]

bullshit. It's ALL coke. At least in the South. Go through any drive-thru and order your meal with a coke and, more often than not, you'll be asked "what kind?"

[Swiss Servator, Original Gnome]

Zero.

[Snark Plissken]

That's the way it was in NM where I grew up.

[MJGreen]

It's soda! Say it roight!

[JeremyR]

Years ago, F. Paul Wilson (a liberation author) wrote a story called Lipidleggin', about essentially this.

http://lipidleggin.com/

[JW]

"Two all-thug beatdowns, special tax, medicare, pelosis, on a slippery-slope bun."

[invisible furry hand]

so what's the toy on the Happy Meal?

[JW]

You'll have to open it to find out.

[SweatingGin]

No toys, those are banned because parents can't say no (San Francisco -- McDonald's started charging a nominal 10 cents for the toy there, IIRC)

[mad libertarian guy]

After dropping the price of the happy meal by the equivalent amount, IIRC.

[mad libertarian guy]

A gift card redeemable for a private consultation with one of the Obamacare Navigators.

[Swiss Servator, Original Gnome]

A drone.

[SugarFree]

The "secret" sauce is just mayo and fuck you, that's why mixed together.

[SweatingGin]

"With a cup of tepid water"

[MJGreen]

Also, broccoli is actually healthy, both nutrient dense and low calorie. The state wouldn't make you eat that. It'd be something high calorie and of dubious health value. I'm thinking maybe a big slice of bread with margarine.

[SweatingGin]

TRANSFAT PUSHER!!!

[pan fried wylie]

the tofu burger covers that. it's only got one tofu patty, but they stack in 5 of those middle buns from the bigmac.

[BuSab Agent]

whole wheat bread with peanut butter

[db]

It would be whatever food the lobbyist with the biggest campaing donation lump says.

[MJGreen]

Of course. It should be something corn-based.

[Snark Plissken]

NEEDZ MOAR STATINS!

[mad libertarian guy]

I fucking love it when the TSA isn't happy with their first hand pat down and decides that they need to detain me so they can search me and my bags in a private room with no cameras and two TSA leeches.

Even better is the game of 20 questions they play acting like we're fucking friends. The proper answer is "none of your goddamn business, asshole. Leave me the fuck alone to go about my day." Unfortunately that isn't the correct answer and is the straight ticket to a 6 hour ass fucking, or perhaps worse.

Fuck!

[invisible furry hand]

It's your fault for being so damn sexy. To a TSA person at least.

[mad libertarian guy]

Those fuckers are even more warped than I deemed imaginable.

[mad libertarian guy]

And I missed my flight on top of it!

Fuck!

[Snark Plissken]

Did they at least give you a TSA junior agent badge sticker.

[mad libertarian guy]

No but I did get a "thank you for your cooperation" like I had a fucking choice, followed by a "we hope you make your flight" knowing full fucking well that I would miss it.

Assholes.

[Snark Plissken]

That sucks. Were you really detained six hours?

[mad libertarian guy]

No. But had I given them the proper answers instead of the correct ones, I surely would have been.

I was detained just long enough to miss my flight.

[Snark Plissken]

But by teaching you proper respect for authoritah, the world gets that much safer for Freedom.

[Bobarian]

That is what they call a 'TSA Reach-around'.

[SugarFree]

Where are you fucking out of? At Bluegrass the TSA agents are usually barely awake at this hour.

[SugarFree]

*flying out of" There's my first Freudian slip of the day.

[mad libertarian guy]

Cincinnati.

[Bobarian]

So SF had it right the first time

[Lord Humungus]

You're probably on "The List" because of your postings on a certain website *Cough*Re*Cough*as*Cough*on*Harumph*

[mad libertarian guy]

The fucking patch swab thing came back positive. I had the temerity to collect chicken eggs before I left, which left nitrate residues on my clothes from chicken shit is my guess.

So one can be detained and fucked with for tending to one's chickens.

Home of the free.

[db]

I once got pulled aside for having a loaded pistol magazine in my carry on bag. They did some sort of check on me on a computer and let me on my way after a stern warning. Six months later I got a letter saying the TSA had determined I had done nothing wrong. I attribute this treatment to my ability to stand there patiently and think happy thoughts instead of telling them what I really thought of them.

Of course, I was pretty stupud to not have checked my bag before I packed it. now I keep a separate set of luggage that never gets near guns. I think the mag must have slipped.off.my bed while I was packing the suitcase.

[Restoras]

Is that what that is? The NYPD does that to bags 'randomly' at entrances to the subway and I got pulled to the table for that. I feel like cracking open a firecracker or a model rocket engine and leaving some residue on my bag for next time, just to fuck with those assholes.

[Doctor Whom]

One TSA genius held up an item that he had found on my person and asked me in a suspicious tone, "What is this?"

"Um, a car key?"

[Auric Demonocles]

"If you're too stupid to recognize a car key, why are we trusting you with security?"

[Restoras]

Yeah but I bet you had one of those fancy shmancy car keys that folds into itself and looks like a detonator, amiright?

[UnCivilServant]

Next panel ideas (may need work)

"Tofu? But... I'm allergic to Soy!"

"No pop, okay, I'll have a soda."

"It's unethical to eat broccoli - what's the humanitarian option?"

"Needs more labels."

[waffles]

I don't get it. Why would the federal government want to buy Mcdonalds and then ruin the brand by refusing to sell the product customers demand? It just doesn't make sense...

..wait, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Auric Demonocles]

Where is the "No Alt-text" sign?

[Certified Public Asskicker]

Warning: contents may be hot and alt-text free

[UnCivilServant]

*but contents will probably be cold, because we're not evaluated on customer satisfaction.

[sarcasmic]

Walked into McDonalds this morning and ordered a breakfast meal with a small diet coke. I ordered the small to keep the price near what the combo is with a coffee. Well, the lady rang it up with a medium. I told her I'm not paying for a medium, and she said that's what it comes with. So I walked out. Fuck that bitch.

[UnCivilServant]

"I'm sorry but, 'have it your way' is the Burger King slogan. Here you have it our way."

[Ted S.]

He still deserved a break today.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Now I'm hungry for McDonald's. Or fried chicken.

[Restoras]

You just had to say fried chicken. There is a Popeye's far to close to my office...

[mad libertarian guy]

What is it with hot girls ruining it with a stupid fucking hat of one sort or another?

[Auric Demonocles]

OT?

[invisible furry hand]

Since the TSA broke his brain, he just ain't been the same.

[Ted S.]

It's not OT. Mad libertarian guy thinks one of the characters in the cartoon is an otherwise hot girl wearing a stupid fucking hat.

[Auric Demonocles]

That's what I was afraid of.

[Certified Public Asskicker]

I get more annoyed with facial piercings. You'd be really hot, if it didn't look like you had silver herpes on your face.

[Auric Demonocles]

Oh wow, you look low a bull! That's super appealing.

[Swiss Servator, Original Gnome]

"silver herpes"

Nicely done.

[Certified Public Asskicker]

My band name is Platinum Cold Sore

[Swiss Servator craves R?sti]

1st album "Gold Genital Wart?"

[Ted S.]

Gold; always believe in your sore

[db]

Yeah, piercings really activate my ick factor. I don't judge people who have them, but neither do I want anything to do with sticking shit through my skin. This goes for "normal" ear piercings too.

[Restoras]

They are being ironical?

[On The Road To Mandalay]

When traveling I alway eat fast and fat "junk food". Why? Because I have never been sick eating it. Fast food chains have relatively high standards of clean. (Of course people have been sick, and all fast food joints don't always meet standards everywhere) The food is yummy, yummy, and more yummy. Do I eat this food at home? No! Why? Because it is not really healthy. However, clean, fast and tasty are the key words for my choice when on vacation. And it's available from Maine to California and Washington to Florida, and everywhere in between. It's an American thing, and Republicans and Democrats probably agree on this, if nothing else. So exercise your patriotism and eat at any famous fast food chain that has not yet been taken over by the government.

[The Last American Hero]

If you like your burger and fries, you can keep it.

[On The Road To Mandalay]

Read my comment again! I said that I eat fast and fat food ONLY when I travel because it is fast and CLEAN. The key word hear might be TRAVEL.

[On The Road To Mandalay]

Change hear to here. Thank you.

[Joseph Leighton]

While I agree with the idea of the cartoon, it's misleading to lump trans fat together with the other items listed. The biochemical reasons to avoid trans fat are much more serious than the reasons for avoiding the others.

Our bodies have the necessary tools to break down and properly digest the other things on the list, but we do not have the necessary machinery to break down trans fats properly. The consequence of this includes free electrons popping off of the trans fat molecules, which wreak unpredictable havoc in our bodies because they cause all sorts of other reactions.

The trans form of fats takes less energy to make, but in living organisms, nature goes out of its way to make the opposite, higher energy, cis form.

What we need is for someone to make a pill that will help us break down and properly digest trans fats. Then the restaurants that use trans fats can offer the pill along with their meal.

[Edwin]

"ut we do not have the necessary machinery to break down trans fats properly"

Not true. The enzyme from the pancreas lyses the three fatty acids from the glycerin backbone, and the fatty acids are then absorbed.

" The consequence of this includes free electrons popping off of the trans fat molecules"

Cite? I'm betting this is another highly theoretical claim.