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Nanny State

Friday Funnies: No Trans Fat For You

Henry Payne | 11.15.2013 7:00 AM

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NEXT: Brickbat: Nude Teen Girl

Henry Payne
Nanny StateFood PolicyFood Freedom
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  1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    And then a death panel.

  2. invisible furry hand   12 years ago

    "And you know what they call a... a... a Tofu Burger with Large Broccoli in Paris?"

    1. db   12 years ago

      baguette de merde?

  3. Ted S.   12 years ago

    NEEDZ MOAR LABELS!

    1. Swiss Servator, Original Gnome   12 years ago

      Always, Ted S., they always do...

  4. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    Both organizations have clowns for figureheads.

    1. Swiss Servator, Original Gnome   12 years ago

      +1 big red nose

  5. db   12 years ago

    The RNC, if it has half a brain among it, should be making it clear to all republican incumbents and hopefuls that they are to keep their traps shut for a good long while. Because with all the crazy shit going on with the Obama admin right now, the next gaffe by a Republican is going to be treated as the scandal of the century.

    1. Live Free or Diet   12 years ago

      The RNC, if it has half a brain among it,

      There -- right at the start -- is the flaw in the plan.

      1. db   12 years ago

        Well, there you go. Should be good for popcorn sales though.

    2. Doctor Whom   12 years ago

      Indeed. My Obot acquaintances have made it painfully obvious that they are desperate for any distraction from their failed messiah.

    3. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

      Gaffe-Prone Rand Paul didn't cite a reference in a speech!!!

      1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

        Well he did, but it was the wrong page number!

  6. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

    McDonalds, where what you want is fuck you that's why.

  7. MJGreen   12 years ago

    Pop? POP!? What the fuck is this shit?

    1. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

      Seriously.

    2. SweatingGin   12 years ago

      Fuck you, it's pop. Soda goes in a Tom Collins.

      1. wareagle   12 years ago

        bullshit. It's ALL coke. At least in the South. Go through any drive-thru and order your meal with a coke and, more often than not, you'll be asked "what kind?"

        1. Swiss Servator, Original Gnome   12 years ago

          Zero.

        2. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

          That's the way it was in NM where I grew up.

      2. MJGreen   12 years ago

        It's soda! Say it roight!

  8. JeremyR   12 years ago

    Years ago, F. Paul Wilson (a liberation author) wrote a story called Lipidleggin', about essentially this.

    http://lipidleggin.com/

  9. JW   12 years ago

    "Two all-thug beatdowns, special tax, medicare, pelosis, on a slippery-slope bun."

    1. invisible furry hand   12 years ago

      so what's the toy on the Happy Meal?

      1. JW   12 years ago

        You'll have to open it to find out.

      2. SweatingGin   12 years ago

        No toys, those are banned because parents can't say no (San Francisco -- McDonald's started charging a nominal 10 cents for the toy there, IIRC)

        1. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

          After dropping the price of the happy meal by the equivalent amount, IIRC.

      3. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

        A gift card redeemable for a private consultation with one of the Obamacare Navigators.

      4. Swiss Servator, Original Gnome   12 years ago

        A drone.

    2. SugarFree   12 years ago

      The "secret" sauce is just mayo and fuck you, that's why mixed together.

  10. SweatingGin   12 years ago

    "With a cup of tepid water"

  11. MJGreen   12 years ago

    Also, broccoli is actually healthy, both nutrient dense and low calorie. The state wouldn't make you eat that. It'd be something high calorie and of dubious health value. I'm thinking maybe a big slice of bread with margarine.

    1. SweatingGin   12 years ago

      TRANSFAT PUSHER!!!

    2. pan fried wylie   12 years ago

      the tofu burger covers that. it's only got one tofu patty, but they stack in 5 of those middle buns from the bigmac.

    3. BuSab Agent   12 years ago

      whole wheat bread with peanut butter

    4. db   12 years ago

      It would be whatever food the lobbyist with the biggest campaing donation lump says.

      1. MJGreen   12 years ago

        Of course. It should be something corn-based.

  12. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

    NEEDZ MOAR STATINS!

  13. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

    I fucking love it when the TSA isn't happy with their first hand pat down and decides that they need to detain me so they can search me and my bags in a private room with no cameras and two TSA leeches.

    Even better is the game of 20 questions they play acting like we're fucking friends. The proper answer is "none of your goddamn business, asshole. Leave me the fuck alone to go about my day." Unfortunately that isn't the correct answer and is the straight ticket to a 6 hour ass fucking, or perhaps worse.

    Fuck!

    1. invisible furry hand   12 years ago

      It's your fault for being so damn sexy. To a TSA person at least.

      1. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

        Those fuckers are even more warped than I deemed imaginable.

    2. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

      And I missed my flight on top of it!

      Fuck!

      1. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

        Did they at least give you a TSA junior agent badge sticker.

        1. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

          No but I did get a "thank you for your cooperation" like I had a fucking choice, followed by a "we hope you make your flight" knowing full fucking well that I would miss it.

          Assholes.

          1. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

            That sucks. Were you really detained six hours?

            1. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

              No. But had I given them the proper answers instead of the correct ones, I surely would have been.

              I was detained just long enough to miss my flight.

              1. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

                But by teaching you proper respect for authoritah, the world gets that much safer for Freedom.

          2. Bobarian   12 years ago

            That is what they call a 'TSA Reach-around'.

      2. SugarFree   12 years ago

        Where are you fucking out of? At Bluegrass the TSA agents are usually barely awake at this hour.

        1. SugarFree   12 years ago

          *flying out of" There's my first Freudian slip of the day.

        2. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

          Cincinnati.

          1. Bobarian   12 years ago

            So SF had it right the first time

    3. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

      You're probably on "The List" because of your postings on a certain website *Cough*Re*Cough*as*Cough*on*Harumph*

      1. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

        The fucking patch swab thing came back positive. I had the temerity to collect chicken eggs before I left, which left nitrate residues on my clothes from chicken shit is my guess.

        So one can be detained and fucked with for tending to one's chickens.

        Home of the free.

        1. db   12 years ago

          I once got pulled aside for having a loaded pistol magazine in my carry on bag. They did some sort of check on me on a computer and let me on my way after a stern warning. Six months later I got a letter saying the TSA had determined I had done nothing wrong. I attribute this treatment to my ability to stand there patiently and think happy thoughts instead of telling them what I really thought of them.

          Of course, I was pretty stupud to not have checked my bag before I packed it. now I keep a separate set of luggage that never gets near guns. I think the mag must have slipped.off.my bed while I was packing the suitcase.

        2. Restoras   12 years ago

          Is that what that is? The NYPD does that to bags 'randomly' at entrances to the subway and I got pulled to the table for that. I feel like cracking open a firecracker or a model rocket engine and leaving some residue on my bag for next time, just to fuck with those assholes.

    4. Doctor Whom   12 years ago

      One TSA genius held up an item that he had found on my person and asked me in a suspicious tone, "What is this?"

      "Um, a car key?"

      1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

        "If you're too stupid to recognize a car key, why are we trusting you with security?"

      2. Restoras   12 years ago

        Yeah but I bet you had one of those fancy shmancy car keys that folds into itself and looks like a detonator, amiright?

  14. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

    Next panel ideas (may need work)

    "Tofu? But... I'm allergic to Soy!"

    "No pop, okay, I'll have a soda."

    "It's unethical to eat broccoli - what's the humanitarian option?"

    "Needs more labels."

  15. waffles   12 years ago

    I don't get it. Why would the federal government want to buy Mcdonalds and then ruin the brand by refusing to sell the product customers demand? It just doesn't make sense...

    ..wait, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  16. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

    Where is the "No Alt-text" sign?

    1. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

      Warning: contents may be hot and alt-text free

      1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

        *but contents will probably be cold, because we're not evaluated on customer satisfaction.

  17. sarcasmic   12 years ago

    Walked into McDonalds this morning and ordered a breakfast meal with a small diet coke. I ordered the small to keep the price near what the combo is with a coffee. Well, the lady rang it up with a medium. I told her I'm not paying for a medium, and she said that's what it comes with. So I walked out. Fuck that bitch.

    1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

      "I'm sorry but, 'have it your way' is the Burger King slogan. Here you have it our way."

      1. Ted S.   12 years ago

        He still deserved a break today.

  18. EDG reppin' LBC   12 years ago

    Now I'm hungry for McDonald's. Or fried chicken.

    1. Restoras   12 years ago

      You just had to say fried chicken. There is a Popeye's far to close to my office...

  19. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

    What is it with hot girls ruining it with a stupid fucking hat of one sort or another?

    1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      OT?

      1. invisible furry hand   12 years ago

        Since the TSA broke his brain, he just ain't been the same.

      2. Ted S.   12 years ago

        It's not OT. Mad libertarian guy thinks one of the characters in the cartoon is an otherwise hot girl wearing a stupid fucking hat.

        1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

          That's what I was afraid of.

    2. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

      I get more annoyed with facial piercings. You'd be really hot, if it didn't look like you had silver herpes on your face.

      1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

        Oh wow, you look low a bull! That's super appealing.

      2. Swiss Servator, Original Gnome   12 years ago

        "silver herpes"

        Nicely done.

        1. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

          My band name is Platinum Cold Sore

          1. Swiss Servator craves R?sti   12 years ago

            1st album "Gold Genital Wart?"

            1. Ted S.   12 years ago

              Gold; always believe in your sore

      3. db   12 years ago

        Yeah, piercings really activate my ick factor. I don't judge people who have them, but neither do I want anything to do with sticking shit through my skin. This goes for "normal" ear piercings too.

    3. Restoras   12 years ago

      They are being ironical?

  20. On The Road To Mandalay   12 years ago

    When traveling I alway eat fast and fat "junk food". Why? Because I have never been sick eating it. Fast food chains have relatively high standards of clean. (Of course people have been sick, and all fast food joints don't always meet standards everywhere) The food is yummy, yummy, and more yummy. Do I eat this food at home? No! Why? Because it is not really healthy. However, clean, fast and tasty are the key words for my choice when on vacation. And it's available from Maine to California and Washington to Florida, and everywhere in between. It's an American thing, and Republicans and Democrats probably agree on this, if nothing else. So exercise your patriotism and eat at any famous fast food chain that has not yet been taken over by the government.

  21. The Last American Hero   12 years ago

    If you like your burger and fries, you can keep it.

    1. On The Road To Mandalay   12 years ago

      Read my comment again! I said that I eat fast and fat food ONLY when I travel because it is fast and CLEAN. The key word hear might be TRAVEL.

      1. On The Road To Mandalay   12 years ago

        Change hear to here. Thank you.

  22. Joseph Leighton   12 years ago

    While I agree with the idea of the cartoon, it's misleading to lump trans fat together with the other items listed. The biochemical reasons to avoid trans fat are much more serious than the reasons for avoiding the others.

    Our bodies have the necessary tools to break down and properly digest the other things on the list, but we do not have the necessary machinery to break down trans fats properly. The consequence of this includes free electrons popping off of the trans fat molecules, which wreak unpredictable havoc in our bodies because they cause all sorts of other reactions.

    The trans form of fats takes less energy to make, but in living organisms, nature goes out of its way to make the opposite, higher energy, cis form.

    What we need is for someone to make a pill that will help us break down and properly digest trans fats. Then the restaurants that use trans fats can offer the pill along with their meal.

  23. Edwin   12 years ago

    "ut we do not have the necessary machinery to break down trans fats properly"

    Not true. The enzyme from the pancreas lyses the three fatty acids from the glycerin backbone, and the fatty acids are then absorbed.

    " The consequence of this includes free electrons popping off of the trans fat molecules"

    Cite? I'm betting this is another highly theoretical claim.

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