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A.M. Links: Federal Government Partially Shut Down, Harry Reid Refuses to Negotiate, Barack Obama Blames GOP "Faction," Obesity Up in NYC Under Bloomberg, Breaking Bad Series Finale Sees Record-Breaking Ratings

Ed Krayewski | 10.1.2013 9:00 AM

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Large image on homepages | Senate
(Senate)
  • spoiler: doesn't appear in actual finale
    AMC

    The federal government partially shut down at midnight. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid insists he won't participate in budget negotiations that would fund the government, allowing it to reopen, until the government reopens. Reid had previously rejected an offer by the House to take the issue to conference to prevent a shut down. President Obama, meanwhile, blames a "faction" of the GOP. Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel warns a shutdown will hurt US credibility. Asian markets saw a modest sell-off after the shutdown.

  • Two two-star Marine Corps generals have been "forced" to retire over a Taliban attack on a base in Afghanistan last year.
  • Despite (or because of!) Mayor Bloomberg's campaign against obesity, the obesity rates in New York City has gone up 25 percent since he took office.
  • Novelty lighters shaped like guns or toys have been banned in New York State. For the children.
  • 700 protesters have been arrested this week in the Sudan, where demonstrations against fuel subsidy cuts have grown into demonstrations against President Omar al-Bashir and his government.
  • The series finale of Breaking Bad was watched by a record-breaking 10.3 million people.

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NEXT: Let Us Be Clear: Obama Deserves Chief Responsibility for Gov't Shutdown.

Ed Krayewski is a former associate editor at Reason.

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  1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    damn you, fist!

    1. Gbob   12 years ago

      You don't really get credit for that. Fisty was operating under a penalty as he dodged hordes of cannibals on his way to the keyboard.

      1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

        first is first, as long as it isn't fist.

        1. CE   12 years ago

          No, you have to quote the post and comment on it, not just place a random comment.

  2. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    The federal government partially shut down at midnight.

    I'm not sure if anyone is getting this comment. Does the internet still work?

    1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      I've been using the black market internet for years, so I've still got the hookup.

    2. trshmnstr   12 years ago

      Planes are falling out of the sky! My cats and dogs all kicked the bucket at the stroke of midnight! Wildfires are burning out of control! All the local businesses started dumping what looks like radioactive sludge into the nearest daycares! Deer populations are growing too fast for their predators to keep up! And the oceans started rising again!

      Help us Obama!!1!!one!!

      1. Lady Bertrum   12 years ago

        Help us obi-wan-Obama. You're our only hope.

    3. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

      I'm basking in the radiance of European socialism while you American peons act out The Lord of the Flies.

      1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

        I pity you.

        1. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

          I'm also bangin' some hot European poon.

          1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

            You only mentioned socialism.

          2. H. ReardEn   12 years ago

            Share the wealth, comrade.

          3. Steve G   12 years ago

            What kind of a name is Poon anyway?

            1. Marc F Cheney   12 years ago

              Scotch-Albanian.

      2. Brett L   12 years ago

        If that includes hot Eastern European chicks, I'd be down for a little basking.

        1. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

          You'll have to forego toilet paper or stand in line for eight hours, but it's worth it.

  3. Citizen Nothing   12 years ago

    It's the most wonderful time of the year...

    1. Bee Tagger   12 years ago

      Playoff baseball at PNC Park? I agree.

      1. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

        That most definitely doesn't happen on a yearly basis.

        1. Bee Tagger   12 years ago

          Sorry, that was me coming back from 10 years in the future to post that comment.

          1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

            I didn't realize it was possible for a fanbase to bet cocky when they (technically still) haven't won a playoff game in 20 years, after 1 above 500 season.

            1. Restoras   12 years ago

              Be nice!

            2. waffles   12 years ago

              Don't be a dick. Go Bucs!

            3. Bee Tagger   12 years ago

              LET ME BE EXCITED AND SAY ABSURD THINGS FOR ONCE IN TWENTY YEARS.

            4. Brett L   12 years ago

              We said the same thing about Red Sox fans before the curse lifted.

              1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

                As bad as the Sox sucked for a long time, they still managed to have a winning season every decade since the 20s.

            5. AuH20   12 years ago

              Pirates fans are cute now, but remember: They're from Pittsburgh. Home of the Steelers and the Pens. They will turn into dicks soon enough.

              1. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

                Don't feed them after midnight.

                Or give them old-timey hats.

              2. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

                They're all moving to Philadelphia?

                1. AuH20   12 years ago

                  Stormy, Philly fans aren't dicks. They are demons in human form

    2. SweatingGin   12 years ago

      Merry Libertarian Christmas to All!

  4. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    some more GILF pron for Almanian

    Julia Gillard reveals her 'murderous rage' at sexist attacks

    Julia Gillard has spoken out about her "murderous rage" and her determination not to cry in public as she endured vicious personal attacks while serving as Australia's first female prime minister.

    1. Ted S.   12 years ago

      "How dare they criticize me! I have a vulva!"

      1. AuH20   12 years ago

        Women are just as good as men at everything!

        Which is why they should be totally free from the shit that men in the same position would take, because... SMOKE BOMB!

    2. DJF   12 years ago

      So she admits going back and forth from rage to tears. Sounds like woman problems to me

    3. tarran   12 years ago

      What a mendacious POS.

      Watch her body language when she was confronted over her betrayal of her campaign promise not to institute a ruinous tax on Carbon.

      See how she is constantly touching the person confronting her in an attempt to get them to lose it?

      Fuck you Giliard! The reason why you should be cuntpunted into New Zealand isn't because of the plumbing of your nethers but because of the content of your character, ie the fact you are a mendacious, lying, evil, fascist, shitweasel.

    4. Raven Nation   12 years ago

      I'm sure leading the ALP to a massive defeat had nothing to do with her or her coup against her own leader while the ALP was in power.

  5. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    President Obama, meanwhile, blames a "faction" of the GOP.

    I tried to report the Republicans to Attack Watch this morning, but nothing.

    1. Rich   12 years ago

      What?! *Attack Watch* is furloughed?!

      1. Bee Tagger   12 years ago

        Please do not report the furloughing of Attack Watch to Attack Watch.

        1. Rich   12 years ago

          It's reporting all the way down.

        2. Protagoronus   12 years ago

          Who watches the Attack Watchers?

      2. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

        Who?

      3. Lady Bertrum   12 years ago

        Apparently, non-essential.

  6. World's Oldest Fraggle   12 years ago

    The government is shutting down and the NHL is starting up. Could today possibly get any better?

    1. Citizen Nothing   12 years ago

      The Capitals will be forfeiting for the duration, right?

      1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

        Maybe the White House will be shut down when the Blackhawks come to town, so we can avoid another overblown Thomas situation.

      2. Elspeth Flashman   12 years ago

        +1 empty net goal.

  7. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    ...the obesity rates in New York City has gone up 25 percent since he took office.

    BRING BACK STOP AND FRISK!

    1. PD Scott   12 years ago

      Squeeze and poke.

    2. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

      Without stop and frisk, there is no incentive to maintain a tight body.

  8. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Sony is proud to produce Footloose II (or is that III?):

    Twerking made illegal in Louisiana town

    Anyone found "jigglin', shakin' or dry-humping" in DeQuincy, Louisiana could be jailed for 30 days after the town's mayor vowed to clamp down on the twerking dance craze.

    The provocative dance, made famous by Miley Cyrus at the recent MTV awards, has caused such a stir in the town that mayor Maynard Wilkens has made it illegal, labelling it a "defiant act against Jesus".

    "The rest of the country can keep their heads in the sand about this sexual act before marriage, but not the great city of DeQuincy," Wilkens told CNN.

    1. Doctor Whom   12 years ago

      http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/.....d-as-hoax/

      1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

        aww...

    2. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

      Footloose II: Electric Twerkaloo

    3. Zeb   12 years ago

      I don't know. I think Jesus would like twerking.

      1. Elspeth Flashman   12 years ago

        twerking does look like evil spirits being summoned out of the twerker.

        1. EDG reppin' LBC   12 years ago

          Through their butts...

          1. Elspeth Flashman   12 years ago

            Yes.

          2. Nephilium   12 years ago

            According to a documentary I once saw, that's the easiest way for a soul to exit the body.

  9. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid insists he won't participate in budget negotiations that would fund the government, allowing it to reopen, until the government reopens.

    He risks overplaying his hand.

  10. DJF   12 years ago

    """""obesity rates in New York City has gone up 25 percent"""

    This is only because unregistered big-gulps are being smuggled in from states with lax soda laws. We must have strict regulation of soda at a Federal level.

    1. Restoras   12 years ago

      You jest but let's face it, this is exactly the kind of nonsense the proggies would love to do.

      1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

        That's the exact logic I hear whenever someone points out that Chicago is super murdery despite (because of) its strict gun laws. It's not the laws' fault; it's that everyone else doesn't have the same laws.

        1. WTF   12 years ago

          And of course it never occurs to them that the places with the lax gun laws have much less violent crime.

          1. VG Zaytsev   12 years ago

            Duh, that's because the guns leave those areas for Chicago. You just don't understand economics the way me a krugman do.

            1. PD Scott   12 years ago

              Guns are drawn to where they can do the most murder. It explains all the guns I see on the side of the road holding little cardboard signs.

    2. Doctor Whom   12 years ago

      Strict laws at the federal level have worked so well to keep America drug-free. Progs hate it when I point that out.

  11. Plopper   12 years ago

    Just look at how CNN is spinning this.

    Republicans should have just let Dems try to implement it on time, so the rush job made it even worse than it would be otherwise and then focused all blame for the resulting pile of shit on the Democrats.

    I have to agree with Matt Welch, they totally fucked up here.

    1. Plopper   12 years ago

      From CNN: "It's 'costing' the economy $1bil a week" and we have "egg on our face".

      1. Bee Tagger   12 years ago

        ARE THOSE EGGS SAFE TO EAT? HOW CAN I BE SURE?

        1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

          Do you smell sulphur?

          1. Enough About Palin   12 years ago

            That's a just freed soul, not sulphur.

    2. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

      Uh, what? That's not my read on it.

      1. Plopper   12 years ago

        What's not your read on what?

        I love government shutdowns, but this is a terrible move politically.

        http://edition.cnn.com/2013/10.....?hpt=hp_c1

        The comments are just wonderful.

        1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

          The statements from the Democrats made is abundantly clear they were not going to negotiate. Period, end of statement. What are you supposed to do with a side that doesn't want to negotiate? You can either fold or go big. The former makes you a pushover for the next 10 years.

          1. Ted S.   12 years ago

            Sure, but that's not the way the media are spinning it. And there are still a lot of low-information voters who only get their info from traditional media sources.

            Yesterday evening I was flipping through the channels just before Jeopardy!, and caught the end of the ABC and NBC evening news programs. ABC ended with a report on the finale of Breaking Bad, while NBC had a report on "OMG, they're going to shut down Yellowstone!"

            1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

              I have to tell you that I don't think that sort of thing works anymore. I look around and I just see a lot of ho-hum and ennui about the whole situation.

            2. RBS   12 years ago

              I love the "shutdown" national parks thing. How exactly to you shut down a giant wilderness area?

              1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

                Ranger: "All right bears, Elk, get out before we start shooting. You have to the count of one."

            3. AuH20   12 years ago

              A summer shutdown is more effective for just this reason. Who the fuck is going to Yellowstone in October?

              1. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

                No one.

          2. trshmnstr   12 years ago

            It's nice that the "small gov't" types are finally finding their cojones after 80 years of big talk and no walk.

            This is the best test for both public officials and the public at large for whether they are actually for smaller government, or whether they just give lip service to the idea while reaping the benefits of the welfare state.

          3. Plopper   12 years ago

            The former makes you a pushover for the next 10 years.

            I don't think this is necessarily true, but maybe you're right.

            I just think letting people see first hand how the ACA will be once implemented would be much more beneficial at convincing the populous to go for a market solution instead of delaying it. Unless they had the power to outright repeal it.

            1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

              Letting the ACA get implemented is in no way beneficial.

              Did letting Social Security get implemented kill it? Medicare? Medicaid?

              I'm not on Team Red, but Ronald Reagan was right when said, "The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program."

              1. Plopper   12 years ago

                SS, Medicare, Medicaid... all looked good at first.

                The ACA would force a bunch of young people to buy overpriced insurance who don't want it all, not to mention all of the other problems it will cause.

                I can't see how the ACA will ever look good without it being gutted, replaced with something else, and then the media spins it as a victory for the Dems.

                But you are right, regarding government programs never ending. I'm a fan of public choice theory on the matter. However, I don't think we can ever get out from this trap of ZIRP and government spending politically speaking. I almost think it would be better for people to directly experience pain as a result of bad government policy while it being very clear it is the result of bad government policy to wake some people up.

                1. Restoras   12 years ago

                  The "replaced by something else" is what they are after. Single-payer.

          4. Cyto   12 years ago

            The statements from the Democrats made is abundantly clear they were not going to negotiate.

            Back in the 90's the Clinton administration told everyone who would listen that they were going to shut the government down and blame it on Newt Gingrich and the republicans. Two weeks later when the government shut down, every member of the network media told us how outrageous it was that the evil, extremist republicans shut down the government.

            These were the exact same people who told us that "Clinton administration officials" had a plan to shut down the government and blame it on the republicans the prior week. It isn't like the administration duped them - they were willing participants in the lie.

            Reid is attempting to run the same playbook, with full cooperation from the media. The Today show had a nice story this morning lamenting the plight of the poor single dad who couldn't work because of the government shutdown. Having heard the story, my wife is outraged that all of those people are out of work now - and only the post office and the military are still getting paid. (direct from the story) Oh, and Congress. It isn't fair that congress gets paid (also direct from the story).

            My wife is a great barometer for the american people. They are easily played and mostly get their (incomplete) understanding of events indirectly from puff pieces and anecdotes from friends.

        2. VG Zaytsev   12 years ago

          OK, Ploppers a progtard concern troll.

          They're the only ones in the world worried about what the shutdown will do to the republicans.

          1. Plopper   12 years ago

            And how am I a progtard, VG Zitphayce?

  12. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    http://www.politico.com/playbook/Quinnipac POLL out this a.m.:

    "American voters oppose 72-22 percent Congress shutting down the federal government to block implementation of the Affordable Care Act, or Obamacare ? Voters also oppose 64-27 percent blocking an increase in the nation's debt ceiling as a way to stop Obamacare ? American voters are divided on Obamacare, with 45 percent in favor and 47 percent opposed, but they are opposed 58-34 percent to Congress cutting off funding for the health care law to stop its implementation. Republicans support the federal government shutdown by a narrow 49-44 percent margin, but opposition is 90-6 percent among Democrats and 74-19 percent among independent voters. President Barack Obama gets a negative 45-49 percent overall job approval rating, [statistically unchanged from] 46-48 percent score August 2. American voters disapprove 74-17 percent of the job Republicans in Congress are doing, their lowest score ever, and disapprove 60-32 percent of the job Democrats are doing."

    1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

      bah. here is the real link
      http://www.politico.com/playbook/

    2. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

      They shit all over the tea party the same time they pronounce the sanctity of the "people's choice!" Not that the tea party are great or anything, but I'm pretty sure the people who voted them in wanted this type of gridlock in lieu of being able to change anything. Well, that and more war with mooooooosssssssslllllllleeemmmss.

      1. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

        "Party IS great." Fucking English language. How does it work?

        1. Ted S.   12 years ago

          It could be either. I belive using "are" is generally more of a British English usage, hoewver.

          1. Ted S.   12 years ago

            "Hoewver", however, is neither standard British nor US English.

            1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

              It's internet english,. whereing proper grammar, spelling and punctuation no longer applys.

              1. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

                I had to read that a couple dozen times to figure out what was going on. I blame the dyslexia...or diabetes...or ADD...or...the meth addiction.

                1. VG Zaytsev   12 years ago

                  It's the governemtent shutdown!!1!!1111

              2. Bobarian   12 years ago

                Looks like welsh...

  13. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    Novelty lighters shaped like guns or toys have been banned in New York State

    NYPD will have to find another excuse to shoot unarmed New Yorkers.

    1. db   12 years ago

      How about "shot while holding a suspicious gun-like object while officers were executing a sweep operation looking for illegal suspicious gun-like objects?"

      1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

        The object he was holding was shaped kind of like a lighter, which made us think it was novelty lighter, which is shaped kind of a like a gun.

    2. Gbob   12 years ago

      Well, it also allows police to shoot smokers on the suspicion that they might be carrying a lighter that looks like a gun. This could be a great boon to public health.

    3. Ted S.   12 years ago

      Anything can be used as a toy.

    4. DontShootMe   12 years ago

      Shot because FYTW.

    5. Cascadian Ephor Xenocles   12 years ago

      No, they now have an additional excuse.

  14. db   12 years ago

    True story:

    Songs 3 and 4 on my car's random queue this morning were Tool's Aenema and Mission by Rush.

    I will always remember the day the government shut down.
    Except for that one in '95.

    1. robc   12 years ago

      And the other 16 times between 1976 and 1995.

      1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

        sounds like my sex life.

        1. Ted S.   12 years ago

          Libertarians have sex lives?

          1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

            Just rape. We're always rapin'. Mostly Mother Earth.

            1. Elspeth Flashman   12 years ago

              STEVE SMITH AGREES!

  15. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

    Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid insists he won't participate in budget negotiations that would fund the government

    President Obama, meanwhile, blames a "faction" of the GOP.

    Boy, he sure is super brilliant.

  16. Rich   12 years ago

    It is now illegal to walk on the National Mall.

    *** rising intonation ***

    I think I see a way to pay off the Debt ....

    1. Bardas Phocas   12 years ago

      What the Mall looked like this morning:
      http://imhereaboutsomemonkeys......1_5001.jpg
      Overrun by super mutants.
      Just stay low and snipe em.

      1. Ska   12 years ago

        But I have 28 mini-nukes and nowhere to go...

        1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

          That's still only three shots with the MIRV.

  17. Ted S.   12 years ago

    The series finale of Breaking Bad was watched by a record-breaking 10.3 million people.

    I think lots of shows have been seen by more than 10.3 million people.

    1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      The season finale of the NFL smashes that every single year.

      1. CE   12 years ago

        NFL preseason games smash that record.

    2. Zeb   12 years ago

      I would guess that it is a record for a pay cable program.

      1. Bam!   12 years ago

        Breaking Bad is AMC which isn't HBO-style paid cable. And didn't Duck Dynasty pull 11 million viewers?

        1. AuH20   12 years ago

          Well, it broke the record for cable, but not pay-cable, scripted show about the meth industry.

          THERE! YOU HAPPY NOW?

          1. CE   12 years ago

            Didn't the Hatfields and McCoys draw more viewers? I'm pretty sure those guys would have cooked meth if it had been invented back then. And I'm also pretty sure the show had a script and was on cable, but not pay-cable (yet I pay for my cable?)

    3. Briggie   12 years ago

      I was thinking the same thing. I am pretty sure Game of Thrones beats that every episode. I think they are talking about just cable.

      1. Cyto   12 years ago

        I just finished the 3rd season of Thrones yesterday. Amazing strategy they have of killing off just about everybody you care about. Heck, they even kill off a some of the hot women who do the nude scenes.

        They do seem to keep around most of the bad guys. So I guess it is a morality play - don't be a good guy unless you want to be brutally killed.

        1. CE   12 years ago

          You can be a good guy as long as you have dragons, and aren't a guy.

  18. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    Two two-star Marine Corps generals have been "forced" to retire over a Taliban attack on a base in Afghanistan last year.

    He should have blamed YouTube.

  19. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Nevada officials: O.J. Simpson was not caught stealing cookies

    Rumors that O.J. Simpson was caught stealing cookies in prison have been greatly exaggerated, Nevada corrections officials said Friday.

    The cookie-stealing story was originally reported by the National Enquirer, citing unnamed sources, and spread widely. But the Los Angeles Times said it got a different story.

    "There is no validity to the reports that inmate Simpson was caught stealing cookies," the public information officer for the Nevada Department of Corrections told the Times.

    1. pan fried wylie   12 years ago

      OJ SIMPSON STOLE MY BIKE COOKIES!

    2. Rich   12 years ago

      In fact, O.J. is helping find the *real* cookie stealers.

      1. Citizen Nothing   12 years ago

        This^? Funny.

      2. AuH20   12 years ago

        I hear cookie thieves love to hang out around golf courses!

    3. Elspeth Flashman   12 years ago

      You know who else allegedly stole cookies?

      1. EDG reppin' LBC   12 years ago

        The NSA?

        1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

          I tittered.

      2. pan fried wylie   12 years ago

        The mascot for CookieCrisp?

      3. Lady Bertrum   12 years ago

        Cookie Monster?

      4. Bobarian   12 years ago

        Hitler never stole cookies...

        It was really Himmler; the fat bastard!

      5. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

        Nabisco?

  20. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    House Republicans Work Immigration Behind Scenes

    Immigration overhaul legislation has been dormant in the House for months, but a few Republicans are working behind the scenes to advance it at a time the Capitol is immersed in a partisan brawl over government spending and President Barack Obama's health care law.

    The chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, Rep. Bob Goodlatte, has been discussing possible legal status for the estimated 11 million immigrants living in the U.S. illegally. He's also been working with House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, a fellow Virginia Republican, on a bill offering citizenship to immigrants brought illegally to the U.S. as children.

    1. DJF   12 years ago

      """"offering citizenship to immigrants brought illegally to the U.S. as children."""

      They already have citizenship in the countries they came from.

      1. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

        Why is it always about citizenship? Just give them green cards.

  21. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    Reid had previously rejected an offer by the House to take the issue to conference to prevent a shut down.

    House GOP shuts down government by poisoning what would normally be a pristine bill.

  22. TondoJondo   12 years ago

    Time for the people to stand up and take back what was once theirs.

    http://www.Got-Privacy.com

  23. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Dutch police recruit rat detectives to sniff out crime

    Police inspector Monique Hamerslag is in charge of the project, which is overseen by Mark Wiebes, head of the police "innovation" center. In a statement to AFP, Wiebes said, "As far as we know we're the first in the world to train rats to be used in police investigations."

    Detective Derrick and his rat partners cost just ?8 each and are capable of being trained to identify an impressive range of odors?including drugs and explosives?within ten to 15 days. In contrast, a police dog costs thousands of pounds and requires a minimum training period of eight months.

    The training procedure is straightforward: the rats are kept in a cage with four metal tea strainers attached inside, one of which contains gunpowder. When the rat recognizes the smell, it is rewarded with a "click" and a small treat. Eventually the rat will learn to move towards the smell instantly. In a demonstration it takes Derrick just two seconds to locate the offending odor.

    1. Floridian   12 years ago

      I saw a program about land mine detecting rats in Africa a few years ago. They are also lighter than dogs so they don't trip the mines.

    2. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

      So now they have to rename all the rat-finks to avoid confusion.

    3. WTF   12 years ago

      That will never fly in the USA. Unlike dogs, rats can't read human body language and won't know to pick up cues from their handlers to alert whenever their handler wants them to.

      1. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

        That will never fly in the USA. Unlike dogs, rats can't read human body language and won't know to pick up cues from their handlers to alert whenever their handler wants them to.

        Nail. Head. The dogs aren't about finding contraband, but about giving cops the pretext to search when they have no legitimate reason to search.

      2. H. ReardEn   12 years ago

        Doesn't matter. The police just say the rat 'alerted'. How do you cross examine a rat?

  24. Longtorso, Johnny   12 years ago

    The Associated Press Goes to Bat For the Democratic Party
    Why do Republicans never seem to come out ahead politically when they go toe-to-toe with the Democrats? Part of the reason, at least, is that the press, to a greater extent than at any time in our history, is monolithically Democrat. The most important news organ is the Associated Press, whose articles appear in hundreds, or possibly thousands, of newspapers around the country. The AP pretends to be a neutral, just-the-facts information source, but it is nothing of the kind. While there are some good reporters at the AP, the overwhelming majority function, as to issues that are politically controversial, as advocates for the Democratic Party....

    1. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

      The press, partially, is an emotionally based form of entertainment as well. They take doctrines like "public schools are good," and "certain wars were good for certain reasons" as granted, and when these religious (what else would you call it?) tenets are threatened, they arm up their very powerful media weapons. In a way, it's a form of ostracization against their perceived enemies (Ron Paul, Tea Party, Libertarians, Whatever...). Heck, how many less members of the press would there be if Public Universities weren't churning out mediocre journalism majors by the boatload after 7 years of "higher education" ?

      1. AuH20   12 years ago

        Eh, it's less complicated than that. Other than investigative journalists, most of the job of being a journalist is just republishing press statements, and the government is a fucking press statement factory.

        With the government shut down, the journalists might have to get off their fat asses and do some actual digging and question people and such!

        1. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

          You're probably more right than I am Barry. What looks like malice and fear-driven calculation on the surface might just be good ol' laziness and incompetence. This certainly explains most government action/inaction so why not the government worshiping-press?

          1. VG Zaytsev   12 years ago

            Actually it's both.

            Their mendacious, lazy, true believers.

          2. AuH20   12 years ago

            Yeah. I worked on a political campaign for 7 months (it was a primary. We lost).

            I did research and my job was to spoon feed the reporters, because none could be bothered to do basic internet searches or figure out the website that kept track of Congressmen's proposed bills. Whenever I complained, I was told that actually bothering to do the research was the job of INVESTIGATIVE reporters.

            1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

              I've always thought that "investigative reporter" should be a redundancy. Guess I was wrong.

    2. a better weapon   12 years ago

      Does the author have to explain each quote immediately after the quote itself? All I could picture was Dr. Evil doing air quotes the entire time.

      I applaud the effort to break down the bias line by line in what will likely be the source for the rest of the media's echo, but the writing is tough to get through.

  25. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Badger stew dish of the day for British roadkill fan

    From dogs and cats to polecats and mice, Boyt insists there is nothing tastier than scooping up a dead animal from the roadside and taking it back to his remote home in Cornwall, southwest England, to skin, gut and cook.

    Boyt, 74, a nature obsessive whose house is dotted with animal skulls and taxidermy, has been eating roadkill since the 1960s and thinks more people should do the same.

    "People say 'oooh, do you really?' when I say I'm having roadkill. I say 'well, if you tried it, you would probably enjoy it'," Boyt tells AFP as a batch of badger stew bubbles away in his kitchen.

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      Wow, the British version of Skink.

  26. Spoonman.   12 years ago

    Come on, I was hoping for some hilarious bugs in exchanges.

  27. Rich   12 years ago

    Taser bandits striking repeatedly in DC

    Background checks, dammit!

    Also, why does anyone *need* a taser?

    1. PD Scott   12 years ago

      Shocking!

  28. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    ObamaCare exchanges to open amid shutdown drama

    "Oct. 1 is not the end of anything; it is the beginning," Sebelius said.

    The administration is hoping to enroll about 7 million people through the exchanges over the next six months, including roughly 2.5 million young adults. Getting young, healthy people into the system is key to keeping premiums from skyrocketing.

    Although HHS officials declined to set expectations for the exchanges, Obama's political allies are apparently confident that the marketplaces will work.

    anyone want to take a stab at the real numbers?

    1. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

      So forcing young healthy people to buy something they don't need, while eliminating more affordable options (looking at you Catastrophic insurance), is what they need to make this system "work." They aren't even disguising it anymore. They are overtly shackling young healthy people to this albatross of shit.

      1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

        But catastrophic insurance isn't "real" insurance!

        You wouldn't call car insurance that only pays off for an accident (no maintenance at all!) and has a $1000 deductible insurance, now would you?

        1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

          That describes my Insurance policy to a T.

        2. Brett L   12 years ago

          Well, no. Given my preference it would be a $2500 deductible.

          1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

            That's not just not insurance, that's the insurance company robbing you blind!

          2. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

            WellsFargo wouldn't give me a loan if my deductable was over $1000, they were worried about losing their investment. After I paid them off I never bothered to change the policy.

            1. Brett L   12 years ago

              Yeah, I think that must have happened to me, because mine is $1000, too. Its fine. I have some body-work that needs doing, but its non-structural and no fucking way am I telling the insurance company.

            2. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

              I had the same originally, but after I paid off the loan I did make the effort to up the deductible.

              1. Cyto   12 years ago

                It is a pretty simple calculation - as you keep upping the deductible the price goes down, but much less each time. At some point it isn't worth it to add another $500 to your deductible to get a $17 cut in the premiums. That's why I am at $1500 on my deductible.

      2. Enough About Palin   12 years ago

        "They are overtly shackling young healthy people to this albatross of shit."

        It's the Health Draft.

    2. Rich   12 years ago

      anyone want to take a stab at the real numbers?

      From Hell's heart?

    3. itsnotmeitsyou   12 years ago

      I'm just gonna leave this right here...

      Obamacare doing it's thing

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        Awesome

      2. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

        made me wonder who in the hell they contracted out to do this work, or was it all paid government programmers?

        For pushing data back and forth to the hub, and setting up portals, I would have used or consulted with someone with plenty of experience - an ERP, finance, etc company.

    4. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

      ObamaCare exchanges to open amid shutdown drama

      Yet the web pages for National Parks (not just the parks themselves)are shut down, with a notice openly saying it's because of the gov shutdown.

      Mendacious fucks.

  29. Gbob   12 years ago

    So now that we've achieved our Somalia like libertarian paradise, can we finally get rid of those fucking roads we all hate? I have a jackhammer in the garage, but I really don't want to start the project if I won't have time to finish it.

    1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      Just enslave more orphans, and the time to completion will go down.

  30. Smilin' Joe Fission   12 years ago

    Want Cheaper Alternatives to Fossil Fuels? Tax the Product That's Actually Causing the Harm

    Or you know... stop regulating the hell out of the only dispatchable legitimate power source alternative to fossil fuel... nuclear power. How is that Toshiba S4 going in Alaska? Oh yeah, I forgot the NRC is a fucking nightmare so no progress has been made. And the CNSC (Canadian version of the NRC) is not much better.

    1. db   12 years ago

      Wait, what?

      Encouraging people to buy something more expensive by taxing the thing they really want is making it cheaper?

      1. Smilin' Joe Fission   12 years ago

        If we make everything else more expensive, our wind mills will look much cheaper! Just fixing the climate change market failure!

        /sarc

      2. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

        Sounds like the Chevy Volt to me.

        1. PD Scott   12 years ago

          A few weeks ago I was leaving a Braves game. Walking through the parking lot, I overheard an older man say to a younger man "Well, you said you were going to do it and you did it. You bought a Volt." in such a disgusted, "you-dumbass" tone that it was all I could do not to burst out laughing.

          1. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

            That's hilarious. I wonder if the old man was thinking, "You could have bought yourself a decent Truck AND an economy car for what that POS got you."

          2. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

            A Volt is no different than having an Obama sign in your front yard or sticker on your car. It's a signal to the rest of the tribe that you are one of them; that you are one of the "good guys."

      3. Suthenboy   12 years ago

        "Encouraging people to buy something more expensive by taxing the thing they really want is making it cheaper?"

        Typical lefty-speak. Conflate concepts and distort the definitions of common words....also appeal to peoples basest motivations. They absolutely never argue in good faith. EVER.

        They get away with this mendacity because they aim their talking points at low information or outright stupid people. If you try and call them out on it they slander you viciously.

        1. Smilin' Joe Fission   12 years ago

          They never branch into the consequences of making energy sources artificially more expensive. Like that everything else tends to increase in price, let alone your electricity bills.

          It is amazing that he can quote $1.35/L without already gagging, but then follow up with we need more taxation on top of this.

    2. Brett L   12 years ago

      On top of all these costs is a profit margin and taxes. In the end, this is what makes up the $1.35/L price to the consumer.

      So the taxes don't already cover the "externalities"? Also, let's do a pie chart and see what the different slices add up to...

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        If you're serious about letting markets work, something like a carbon tax becomes a no-brainer. Governments who fail to implement such measures are aiding and abetting market failure.

        Its like watching a bird string words together that should mean something but don't.

        1. Smilin' Joe Fission   12 years ago

          He believes that there is a market failure in that fossil fuel costs do not account for the impending apocalypse from climate change. So, a theoretical possibility that no one has even come close to accurately modelling should somehow be translated into a tax value that your friendly government can generate for itself.

          Once you think that government can fix all problems, it is a no brainer that they should tax carbon to save us all from our carbon usage sins.

        2. Suthenboy   12 years ago

          The words are strung together like that for a reason. You are only supposed to hear every third or fifth word that triggers and emotional response.

          The same tactic used in spooky movies with visual gags to trigger evolutionary fear reflexes.

          1. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

            You are only supposed to hear every third or fifth word that triggers and emotional response.

            This^^

    3. a better weapon   12 years ago

      The Onion sure is getting funny again, isn't it!

      ..oh no... oh God, no... this isn't a joke at all! Real people agree with this man enough to allow him to publish this to a major online publication too!

    4. a better weapon   12 years ago

      "It seems that, in order for arguments to be taken seriously, our system requires us to calculate the economic impact of the loss of a species instead of recognizing its intrinsic value."

      To be taken seriously, the author shouldn't put REAL, nominal values on the cost side of the equation while inflating the benefit side with "intrinsic" values impossible to quantify. I'd like to pay my taxes or cable bill with my "intrinsical" value, but the real world doesn't allow it.

  31. creech   12 years ago

    If the government is partially shut down, will the IRS require your employer to only partially deduct federal taxes from your paycheck this week? What, no discount when 800,000 feds are furloughed?
    No wonder "anarchy" gets a bad name when it costs just as much as
    "bloated government."

    1. Rasilio   12 years ago

      Actually it doesn't.

      It just means that they can't borrow to fund the parts that are being furloughed

      1. CE   12 years ago

        Bingo,.

  32. AuH20   12 years ago

    It's time for a pro-life economy

    From the tragic story of adjunct professor Margaret Mary Vojtko's death to my own adventures in job insecurity,everything I've read and experienced has convinced me that we need a pro-life economy.

    Not in the traditional anti-abortion sense (ugh), but in the sense of putting human lives first, and profit second. And since our lives are inextricably tied to the health of our planet, we need to prioritize that too.

    We need jobs. Green jobs, well-paid jobs, jobs with benefits (or government systems to provide those benefits).

    We need an end to the ideology of infinite growth?which, in a world of finite resources, is quite literally unsustainable?and a focus on human health and happiness.

    We need an end to the casual cruelty of corporate capitalism?the callous profit-seeking that allowed an adjunct professor to die penniless, near-homeless, and uninsured while the university's president received a $700,000 salary.

    Bill McKibben succinctly summed up what's wrong with our economic system in his 2007 book Deep Economy: the Wealth of Communities and the Durable Future:

    Alongside the exhilaration of the flattening earth celebrated by Thomas Friedman, the planet (and our country) in fact contains increasing numbers of flattened people, flattened by the very forces that are making a few others wildly rich.

    1. AuH20   12 years ago

      His observation is even more true now than when he first made it, back in the less-shitty days before the Great Financial Crisis.

      McKibben and many others have been calling for a more humane economy for years, and now?as corporate capitalism destroys more and more lives, as climate change veers terrifying close to the point of no return?we need to push for it more than ever.

      The great irony, of course, is that the very system that needs changing sucks the energy from those who would change it. It's hard to revolutionize the economy when you're working multiple minimum wage part-time jobs, or teaching classes at multiple colleges for even less than minimum wage, or bouncing from temp job to temp job while fruitlessly job-hunting. It's hard to work on building local, community-based, sustainable systems when you're in a state of perpetual stress and uncertainty.

      It's really, really fucking hard.

      Personally, I haven't been able to find much energy to plug in to the movement(s) for a just, sustainable economy?I don't have much left after work, job-hunting, self-care, friends-and-boyfriend time, writing, and what little climate activism I can manage. And ironically enough, there aren't many jobs in the field of building an economy that has enough jobs for everyone.

      1. Ted S.   12 years ago

        Personally, I haven't been able to find much energy to plug in to the movement(s) for a just, sustainable economy

        They never call for a sustainable government.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder   12 years ago

          They never call for a sustainable government.

          Awesome

        2. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

          They never call for a sustainable government.

          Nor a just one. Ask about the drug war and you'll hear some screed about for profit prisons and nothing about the prison guard unions that have pushed through 3 decades of self serving law. Ask about poverty and you'll hear a screed about corporations and the rich not paying their fair share and nothing about how welfare programs have created intergenerational poverty and an increasingly permanent underclass in the ghettos and trailer parks of America.

          For them the entire idea of government is good and just. It's sustainability is driven by the good intentions of those who advocate for it. Its results the result of those who are skeptical rather than those who conceive of and implement policy. Government can never do wrong.

      2. Long Range Boredom   12 years ago

        Based off of this brilliant analysis of market economics she deceives to be working multiple minimum wage part-time jobs.

        1. Long Range Boredom   12 years ago

          *Deserves. I have destroyed my own point.

  33. The Other Kevin   12 years ago

    Here in Indiana, the power went out at about midnight. The fires are raging, with no one to put them out. Food and water supplies are running short. There are rumors that some have resorted to cannibalism. I'm afraid this may be my last transmission.

    1. Gbob   12 years ago

      Here in Buffalo it's pretty bad.

      Half of the buildings are deserted. A corrupt gang of mentally ill sociopaths have occupied our city hall. Our teams are unable to win games.

      Oh. Wait. It's just Tuesday. Never mind.

      1. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

        I feel like you're also describing Pittsburgh, Cleveland, St. Louis, Detroit, etc.

        1. itsnotmeitsyou   12 years ago

          Bah, we haven't really even noticed here in Cleveland. It was a wasteland to begin with. If only we could get the Cleveland City government to shut down, then we'd have a wasteland, but with no gov intrusion.

          1. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

            Sounds like a relative utopia. I'm not joking...except the winters will still suck.

          2. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

            did someone say wasteland?
            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLCmcV4gC_0

          3. Longtorso, Johnny   12 years ago

            Did the Cleveland city govt let you down?

      2. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

        Your newspapers are so far behind you haven't hear about the Baltimore beatdown?

    2. Brett L   12 years ago

      Luckily, here in Tallahassee, there's plenty of state government to pick up the slack. Our roads are degrading at a much slower pace and food continues to be available.

    3. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

      Sorry to hear that, Sadly, New York has not noticed a difference.

    4. AuH20   12 years ago

      Cheyenne, across to Kansas. We held them at the Rockies and the Mississippi. Anyway, the Teathuglicanz! reinforced with 60 divisions. Sent three whole army groups across the Bering Strait into Alaska, cut the pipeline, came across Canada to link up here in the middle, but we stopped their butt cold. The lines have pretty much stabilized now.

      1. mr simple   12 years ago

        So that's what hit Calumet.

      2. The DerpRider   12 years ago

        Good thing the hate will keep us warm.

    5. Azathoth!!   12 years ago

      Shame, you've gone in the wrong direction.

      Here, freed of government since midnight, inventors and visionaries have started up 7 robotic nuclear plants, opened 50 mass 3-D printing AnyMarts(everything from pizza to guns) and begun construction of a new type of computer that will simultaneously bring on the Singularity, reduce statists to the hive creatures they'd prefer to be, oh, and eliminate ROADZ.

      We have also, of course, instituted cannibalism--can't let a good crisis go to waste.

      1. CE   12 years ago

        So there is a use for the furloughed federal non-essential workers after all.

    6. CE   12 years ago

      I can still comment from California it seems.... but I think I'm on battery backup. My keyboard keys seem to be getting slower and less responsive too,.

  34. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    My old boss is a moderate conservative - thinks the shutdown is the worst thing ever. When I asked him why - he thinks it looks bad politically and OMG - the government is shutdown!

    I said you could atomize Washington and we would still have a functioning society. The shutdown really doesn't matter.

    Somehow - at least in his mind - this somehow reflects on America as a whole being dysfunctional or looking bad to other countries. Couldn't quite wrap my brain around that, but hey, I would never call my old boss the smartest grape of the bunch.

    1. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

      Part of that mindset, especially among the older crowd, is the fear of appearing weak. Years of working for the government during the cold war fried a lot of people's minds in various ways.

      Your boss is probably the type of person that thinks the U.S. must be THE SUPERPOWER at all costs, regardless of reality and consequences. As a result, a functioning criminal organ is necessary to maintain said SUPERPOWER.

      1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

        I would actually think that showing how functional we are without Washington makes me appear stronger. Cut off the head... and the body will still keep going.

        1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

          I appear to be quite drunk this morning. I guess that homebrewed double IPA I cracked last night really was potent.

          1. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

            I've got a Belgian Trippel around 9% waiting for me at the homebrew clubhouse. I'm looking forward to the long nap it will inevitably induce.

            1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

              Clubhouse?

              1. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

                The clubhouse is just a basement with enough room to support the homebrewing madness. My shitty apartment does not cut the cantaloupe.

            2. Nephilium   12 years ago

              I've got an 8.6% Belgian Dark Strong that I'm still waiting to carb up. Cracked a bottle at the month mark, there's pressure, but no carbonation yet. Thankfully, I've got a full pipeline. Two beers currently on tap, two full kegs to back those up, and a batch fermenting away now.

              1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

                The carbonation on this double is taking a while too.

            3. AuH20   12 years ago

              Query: What beer should I drink after not drinking for the last 2 months? Wasn't doing sober anything, just sorting out some mental health issues.

              1. Nephilium   12 years ago

                AuH20:

                Are you looking for an old favorite, or something new to try? What state do you live in, and what flavors do you like?

              2. Restoras   12 years ago

                Shipyard Pumpkin?

                1. Bobarian   12 years ago

                  WTF is it with pumpkin beer?

                  Every single one I've tried is just fucking nasty, much like the blue-berry blends.

              3. The DerpRider   12 years ago

                Final Absolution.

          2. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

            I just finished brewing a Milk Stout.

            Wasn't happy with the Dunkelweizen I made. It had a very strong aftertaste that reminded me of chemicals, but my wife said was banana.

        2. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

          I think this is the heart of why the biggest fucksticks that surround us are gnashing their teeth over this alleged shutdown. They don't want people to know that the world will keep going, let alone thrive, without even the smallest tumors attached to their vaunted political apparatus.

          1. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

            I think this is the heart of why the biggest fucksticks that surround us are gnashing their teeth over this alleged shutdown.

            They also don't want to expose to the world that shutdown no longer means what they say it means. This "shutdown" is all smoke and mirrors. Most of the government is still operational. Most of the bureaucrats are still at work today gobbling up our tax dollars.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder   12 years ago

      Remember the gnashing of teeth and wailing when it looked like we weren't going to blow up Syria when they stepped over Obama's red line?

      Our credibility is on the line people, we must double down on the stupid!

      1. PD Scott   12 years ago

        So... we should air-drop furloughed employees on Syria to give them an American style bureaucracy?

        "I'm sorry, unless you have a permit you are not allowed to rebel. Fill out these forms, get them notarized and return. Next!"

    3. robc   12 years ago

      Did you point out to him that Belgium went without a government for 535 days recently?

      1. robc   12 years ago

        589 according to wikipedia.

  35. AuH20   12 years ago

    By not being for Obamacare and food stamps, Pro-lifers are apparently pro-child death!

    Plenty of "pro-lifers" are okay with killing kids.

    On the one hand, they preach against contraception, claiming it might cause an abortion. And no woman should have the right to terminate a pregnancy!

    On the other hand, they have no problem taking away kids' food and medical care, which will leave some of them dead.

    Yes indeed, an awful lot of "pro-lifers" want to defund Obamacare and deny medical services to at least eight million children.

    And last week "pro-life" Congress members voted to slash $40 billion from food stamps. Nearly half go to kids. (And then they lavish tax subsidies on rich corporate interests.)

    Cutting food stamps will force lazy folks to get jobs ? so that they can afford to eat and get insurance, they say.

    Like $4.50 a day in food stamps and no health benefits and shame in unemployment isn't incentive enough?

    And when today's economy finds three jobseekers for every job?

    Meanwhile, the "pro-lifers" don't really want to create jobs. They want us so angry over a bad economy that we will vote for more "pro-life" Republicans at midterm.

    And besides, they're too busy voting on anti-abortion bills to spend any time creating good paying jobs with health benefits, anyway.

    1. Jordan   12 years ago

      I always ask dipshits like this how many starving African children they murdered today.

      1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

        This.

    2. Fluffy   12 years ago

      The other amusing thing about the food stamp debate is that the House legislation merely rolls back the SNAP eligibility rules to the rules that were in place during the 90's.

      So that would mean that every farm bill and every budget voted for by, say, Ted Kennedy during his time in the Senate was a vote in support of the set of SNAP eligibility rules that the House now wants.

      The inescapable conclusion from this is that liberal lion Ted Kennedy wanted to murder children.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder   12 years ago

        Not only that, it's a reduction in growth, not a real reduction in overall spending. The level of discourse is pathetic.

      2. a better weapon   12 years ago

        And by their definition of "cut," any budget with it's attached 10 year outlook reduces SNAP spending. Why? Because nobody wants to submit a budget that says "in 10 years, my budget will create a shitty economy that requires more people on SNAP."

        Obama's budget has reduced future SNAP spending without a single mention in the press or his voters, must less indignation.

    3. trshmnstr   12 years ago

      God forbid that pro-lifers are also pro-liberty.

      On the other hand, they have no problem taking away kids' food and medical care, which will leave some of them dead.

      Right, because pro-lifers are never associated with children's charities and children's hospitals.

      And last week "pro-life" Congress members voted to slash $40 billion from food stamps. Nearly half go to kids.

      Tossing the kids off the cliff with grandma!

      Like $4.50 a day in food stamps and no health benefits and shame in unemployment isn't incentive enough?

      But unemployment isn't shameful anymore... HHS said so! Also, $4.50 a day in food stamps assumes an income that provides another $4.50 a day for food. I hazard to guess that my family could live off of $270 a month if push came to shove.

      Meanwhile, the "pro-lifers" don't really want to create jobs. They want us so angry over a bad economy that we will vote for more "pro-life" Republicans at midterm.

      Yeah, they're supporting the repeal of Obamacare because they're racist, not because they think it's a job killer.

      And besides, they're too busy voting on anti-abortion bills to spend any time creating good paying jobs with health benefits, anyway.

      Government doesn't create jobs! Government can only disincentivize job creation to varying levels.

      /rant

      1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

        The quicker criticism is they think "not giving = taking"

        1. trshmnstr   12 years ago

          I could've gone that route, but sometimes it feels good to tear it apart piece by piece, eviscerating every little point that they make.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder   12 years ago

        Government most certainly can create jobs. That ditch needs filling/digging.

        1. PD Scott   12 years ago

          It also needs to be inspected, pre- and post-, and then there's the environmental impact, archeological survey, verification that historically underutilized contractors were used, auditing of the bids, auditing of the people who did the work, the Army Corps of Engineers should be consulted?

      3. a better weapon   12 years ago

        And last week "pro-life" Congress members voted to slash $40 billion from food stamps. Nearly half go to kids.

        False, section 109 of the bill specifically excludes food stamp recipients with kids. They can't even get their basis for emoting right.

        1. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

          False, section 109 of the bill specifically excludes food stamp recipients with kids. They can't even get their basis for emoting right.

          Even if the left were to stipulate to this, the rhetoric would instantaneously turn to WAR ON WIMMINZ!!!

  36. Longtorso, Johnny   12 years ago

    A reminder on the day OCare rolls out:

    Al Franken May Have Won His Senate Seat Through Voter Fraud
    It looks increasingly likely that at least one member of the United States Senate may owe his seat in the world's greatest deliberative body not to his charisma or the persuasiveness of his message but to voter fraud.

    As the Wall Street Journal's John Fund reports, Minnesota Democrat Al Franken's narrow, 312-vote victory in 2008 over incumbent Sen. Norm Coleman may have come as the result of people being allowed to vote who, under existing law, shouldn't have been....

    1. Longtorso, Johnny   12 years ago

      Mischief in Minnesota?
      ...Instead, nearly every "fix" has gone for Mr. Franken, in some cases under strange circumstances.

      For example, there was Friday night's announcement by Minneapolis's director of elections that she'd forgotten to count 32 absentee ballots in her car. The Coleman campaign scrambled to get a county judge to halt the counting of these absentees, since it was impossible to prove their integrity 72 hours after the polls closed. The judge refused on grounds that she lacked jurisdiction.

      Up in Two Harbors, another liberal outpost, Mr. Franken picked up an additional 246 votes. In Partridge Township, he racked up another 100. Election officials in both places claim they initially miscommunicated the numbers. Odd, because in the Two Harbors precinct, none of the other contests recorded any changes in their vote totals.

      According to conservative statistician John Lott, Mr. Franken's gains so far are 2.5 times the corrections made for Barack Obama in the state, and nearly three times the gains for Democrats across Minnesota Congressional races...

      1. Longtorso, Johnny   12 years ago

        ...This entire process is being overseen by Democratic Secretary of State Mark Ritchie, who isn't exactly a nonpartisan observer. One of Mr. Ritchie's financial supporters during his 2006 run for office was a 527 group called the Secretary of State Project, which was co-founded by James Rucker, who came from MoveOn.org. The group says it is devoted to putting Democrats in jobs where they can "protect elections."...

      2. Jordan   12 years ago

        No surprise there. The Dems have the zombie vote and cartoon character vote on lock.

    2. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      Um, excuse me, but this is literally impossible because no one has ever committed voter fraud, and anyone who is worried about voter fraud is just racist and wants poor people banned from voting, because they are too dumb to get an ID.

      1. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

        And how exactly would a voter ID law have stopped officials from making up imaginary votes?

        1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

          See? Voter fraud never happens!

          1. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

            The claim isn't that vote fraud never happens. It's that vote fraud that would be prevented by ID laws rarely happens because people trying to rig elections aren't interested doing it by impersonating one person at a time.

            They go for methods that can produce large numbers of fraudulent votes, such as phony absentee ballots or having insiders manipulate the results. Neither of which are affected by voter ID laws.

            1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

              Ah yes, since you're cheating in other ways, it's still racist to very easily prevent cheating in this way.

              1. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

                We could just as easily prevent even more cheating by focusing on absentee ballot fraud. But Republicans fight any attempts to do that. And that has nothing to do with the fact it would affect their voters more and this is really just about depressing turn out.

                1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

                  I'm all for completely eliminated absentee balloting.

                  But that doesn't make your argument about why preventing some voter fraud via IDs is any less stupid than "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACIST"!

                2. Bo Cara Esq.   12 years ago

                  Well said.

    3. Azathoth!!   12 years ago

      And this is why this will never go away--

      Indeed Dan McGrath, who spearheaded the inquiry, told Fox News, "We aren't trying to change the result of the last election. That legally can't be done."

      So, if someone steals an election, and it isn't found out immediately, they simply get away with it if it is found out?

      Quite honestly, I think immediate removal from office, replacement with the opponent, a jail term that exactly mirrors the term of office stolen, and permanent revocation of voting rights is a suitable punishment.

  37. AuH20   12 years ago

    Social justice movements apparently don't need a rebranding,

    According to the findings of a new study, activists such as environmentalists and feminists tend to be viewed in such a negative light that they trigger resistance to social change rather than support of it. That, of course, contradicts the goal of many individuals who engage in political activism. But why are many people so offended by activists that they shut down and become defensive?

    I developed a huge amount of respect for all people involved in political activism ever since I started doing some of my own. After all, it takes a lot of time, resources and energy to actively support a particular cause. Activists invest money in materials, they spend their free time copying flyers and standing around in the cold, and often the actual political effects of such actions are minimal. So while advocates for environmental, feminist or other causes have my admiration, it makes me resent those who use the same tactics to militate for things i find despicable even more.

    Let's face it, there are a great deal of advocates against progress and human rights. These people offend me, too, not just because I disagree with their politics, but because they have the audacity to spend their valuable time on spreading hate and limiting other people's freedom and equality.

    1. AuH20   12 years ago

      However, it is too shortsighted to claim that people don't hate activists per se, but only those whose goals and convictions they reject. After all, the studies suggest that the participants were supporters of the ideas in general. The environment, animal rights and women's equality ? these are generally causes everyone who is not particularly hateful and vile can get behind. As usual, the devil is in the details. Note that the studies' participants resorted to stereotyping activists with traits that they primarily deemed negative: loud, forceful, assertive, overreactive. Naturally, that is how protesters get attention, by disrupting the comfort of the status quo. And that's really the problem, isn't it? People may say they generally agree with certain ideas, but only as long as pursuing these ideas doesn't affect their lifestyles too harshly. Outspoken and engaged activists, however, make them aware ? through their mere existence ? that they are doing too little or nothing at all. Ignorance and apathy are not a good look, but only through activists (i.e. open criticism and direct action) are people reminded of these bad traits and forced to reflect. And of course, supporting a cause that one is not willing to put any effort in is not really support at all.

    2. AuH20   12 years ago

      This problem fits nicely into the current debate on "rebranding feminism" ? the search for a "better" representation of the movement to get more people on board with it. This move is a reaction to the classic "I'm not a feminist but?" statement, and will certainly feel further justified by studies such as the ones linked above. The bottom line for the Salon article reads: "Avoid rhetoric or actions that reinforce the stereotype of the angry activist", and a few new initiatives dedicated to "rebranding feminism" are picking up on that.

      The problem with such "rebranding", however, is the danger of watering the ideas of feminism down and turning it into a movement that's careful not to step on anyone's toes. Such a feminism would lose its basic foundation ? the struggle. As the always brilliant Flavia Dzodan states: "I do not conceive feminism as the end in itself. To me, feminism is the vehicle I use for the journey, not the end point where my journey ends." I understand this to mean that getting more people to openly adopt the label does not mean anything, if there is no work behind it, no reflection, learning, questioning. If anything it allows people to wear it like a badge of honor without any substance, or worse: with contradictory ethics.

      Not contradictory ethics!

      1. Outlaw   12 years ago

        What a deluded piece of shit. People don't like feminists because feminists are made up of womyn who hate real women and all men*.

        *Neutered little white knights born with male genitalia aren't men.

    3. a better weapon   12 years ago

      I developed a huge amount of respect for all people involved in political activism [that I approve of] ever since I started doing some of my own.

      FTFH

  38. AuH20   12 years ago

    An excerpt from the HILARIOUS upcoming Jezebel book

    As you may have heard, on October 22nd we'll be publishing our first book, a 300-page, hardcover, illustrated encyclopedia called The Book of Jezebel. In honor of this milestone ?which took many years and dozens of contributors to execute?we'll be posting one entry from the book a day, starting with "A" and continuing on through to "Z." Although the book itself has already been printed ? it's gorgeous ? questions, additions, annotations and suggestions on the entries that appear online are welcomed and encouraged.

    Feminazi

    Term of endearment initially coined by Rush Limbaugh's close friend Thomas Hazlett, a former chief economist of the FCC and law professor who has written scholarly papers blaming apartheid on socialism and currently spends most of his time fighting net neutrality regulation. Like a feminist, but also a Nazi! Geddit? Hur.

    Seriously, I am vastly funnier than these people. HOW AM I NOT MAKING MONEY OFF OF COMEDY?!*

    *Probably because I'm not a gender studies major with a writing style cribbed from the most idiotic Cosmo writers... BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT!

    1. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

      Oh god, the Jezbians are at it again.

    2. RBS   12 years ago

      Probably because you don't: use enough expletives, use hip spellings for simple words, make absurd contractions for 3-4 letter words and you aren't (I;m assuming) obese.

      1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

        Hey, Anna Holmes looks like a thin, passable tranny.

  39. Rich   12 years ago

    Frightening view of DC this morning

    1. Cdr Lytton   12 years ago

      Sure it wasn't this or this?

  40. Jordan   12 years ago

    The Breaking Bad finale fucking rocked. That is all.

    Please take pity on our slower brethren and avoid posting spoilers.

    1. RBS   12 years ago

      I agree, except for one little thing.

      1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

        ???

    2. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

      Damn right it did Jordan. Almost washes away the ashy taste LOST left in my mouth. In related news, I need to start watching Hell on Wheels.

      1. Jordan   12 years ago

        It's a good show. Though I haven't watched any of the latest season yet.

      2. RBS   12 years ago

        I watched the first season of Hell on Wheels and thought it had a lot of potential.

    3. Andrew S.   12 years ago

      The finale was so awesome that Breaking Bad may have gone ahead of The Wire as my favorite show of all time. It's quite close.

    4. Gbob   12 years ago

      I thought it was pretty stupid how it turned out that Skinny Pete and Badger were really angels, and that everything had taken place on prehistoric Earth.

      1. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

        The 4-way between Walt, Jesse, Skyler and Marie came out of nowhere.

        1. Jordan   12 years ago

          SPOILER ALERT!

        2. RBS   12 years ago

          Zombie Gus really was a poor attempt at crossover marketing for Walking Dead.

      2. Jordan   12 years ago

        Yeah, BSG's ending was godawful.

  41. Brett L   12 years ago

    Best comment from a liberal on FB so far: "Govt. Shut down and gas prices drop. Go figure."

    As if the government, in her mind, had been the only thing holding back the rapacious oil companies from charging $5/gal.

  42. AuH20   12 years ago

    The 11 Serious For Real Biggest Mistakes You Can Make in the Bedroom


    1. Doing your taxes in the bedroom and forgetting to deduct your student loan interest.

    2. Exclaiming, "Babes, this is delicious!" after eating a sandwich in bed.

    3. Forgetting to set up a protective barrier of salt and magical herbs upon your bedroom floor before summoning a demon.

    4. Leaving your bedroom window open during raccoon season (THEY WILL COME IN AND TRY TO EAT YOUR CANDY; I HAVE SEEN THEM DO IT).

    5. Lounging on bed on your laptop while giving your social security number to a stranger who contacts you over the Internet claiming to be a Nigerian prince who would like to share his fortune with you.

    6. Inviting some friends over to try Krokodil.

    7. Giving yourself "cool" short bangs on impulse with the little scissors in that sewing kit you keep in your bedside table.

    8. Spilling pasta sauce on the quilt your grandma knitted you.

    9. Forgetting to change your clock for daylight savings.

    10. Murdering someone.

    11. Arson.

    Let's please not make a monolithic list of "SEX ERRORS" because 1) different things work for different people, 2) being didactic about sex is BORING, and 3) encouraging people to think of intercourse as something that they can fuck up big time if they don't do it right is both scary and unhelpful.

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      What the fuck is this? Is it supposed to be funny? I just don't even...

    2. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

      I have a hard time comprehending #8. You can't knit a quit. They're two entirely different textile processes. Knitting can be automated and done by machine, quilting is currently more difficult to automate and is cheaper with human intervention at current labor rates, even in the US.

    3. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

      See! Feminists can be funny!

      1. Bobarian   12 years ago

        But only when it is non-intentional!

    4. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      You've got to be pretty low income to be able to deduct your student loan interest.

      1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

        It's my only deduction. What do you call "low" income?

        1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

          With a college degree? $60k certainly qualifies.

          1. Zeb   12 years ago

            Shut up.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder   12 years ago

        I imagine that most of the gender studies majors qualify for that deduction.

        1. AuH20   12 years ago

          It's actually always fun to see Jezzies discussing their majors. They always respond to the "Non-STEM majors are useless thing" with such gems as "Well, my major actually really helped me with grant writing, which is a big component of my job!"

          My thought when reading it is always, "...So, basically, you majored in literate begging? Congratulations for being able to use slightly longer words and better grammar than the guy on the side of the highway with a sign. Then again, he's probably more honest."

          1. trshmnstr   12 years ago

            One of my favorite opinion articles of all time:

            http://www.purdueexponent.org/.....84fa2.html

            Susan Korty is quoted on the front page of the Sept. 13 Exponent ("Liberal arts boasts larger numbers for second year") as saying, "It would be nice if (Liberal Arts) had the kind of technology that the engineering school has ... " and I couldn't agree more. I really think Purdue University needs to step up the technology budget for Liberal Arts students.

            We engineering students really get spoiled with our nuclear reactors, supersonic wind tunnels and expensive CAD software licenses. We really need to balance things out and invest the same millions of dollars into the crayons, markers and plastic recorders that our liberal arts students so desperately need. Our nation's future security, economic stability and intellectual development really depends upon our technological investment into our future fast food employees.

  43. The Late P Brooks   12 years ago

    We need an end to the casual cruelty of corporate capitalism?the callous profit-seeking that allowed an adjunct professor to die penniless, near-homeless, and uninsured while the university's president received a $700,000 salary.

    I could be wrong, but I suspect that university is a non-profit. And non-profits are totally noble. This anecdote makes no sense.

    1. RBS   12 years ago

      An old professor of mine posted something about that story last week. I got know response when I asked if he and the other members of his department would be willing to take pay cuts in order to pay an adjunct.

      1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

        Sadly, the adjuncts are the only instructors who can, you know, actually teach. Where I went, they all had 1st jobs in industry and taught as a way to make more money on top of that.

        1. RBS   12 years ago

          The adjuncts at law school were the same way. Since they, you know, actually had more than a couple of years experience being lawyers.

          1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

            People who adjunct at night while working their six-figure jobs during the day mystify me. GO HOME ALREADY

            1. RBS   12 years ago

              I didn't say it wasn't a weird thing to do. I just learned more from them.

            2. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

              An adjunct criminal justice professor (Also Sheriff's Lt.) opened up the course with the declaration "I am a prostitute". Not sure what he was doing with the money though.

        2. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

          Or become president.

      2. RBS   12 years ago

        I got know

        Way to go RBS.

        1. Lady Bertrum   12 years ago

          Must be like Got Milk?

          Got Know?

      3. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

        An old professor of mine posted something about that story last week. I got know response when I asked if he and the other members of his department would be willing to take pay cuts in order to pay an adjunct.

        You should also suggest that college classes be subject to market forces rather than administrative fiat. The "general studies" requirements necessitates they hire mobs of adjuncts that they can't afford to pay well and provide benefits for, etc. Allow students to pick and choose which classes outside of their major they think are applicable to their career paths rather than administrators and academics seeking to create "well rounded" students, and having low wage instructors will disappear, because those jobs would disappear. First and foremost, academia, and general studies requirements in particular are simply ways to employ otherwise unemployable people with useless doctorates. Academia is a fucking jobs program.

        Universities and colleges are stuck between and self created rock and a hard place: they have to choose between providing jobs to the vast numbers of people to whom they have given a Ph D and who aren't qualified for much outside of academia (what the fuck else is your average philosophy or sociology Ph D going to do?), or providing a subset of those (presumably the best in their fields) with a well compensated living. This is their bed. Let them fucking lie in it.

    2. tarran   12 years ago

      Teh adjunct faculty member was 83 years old and had few savings and was working two jobs to make ends meet.

      Basically, she failed to save for her retirement (and part of it is picking a profession where you can make ends meet and doing the deed while you are hale and hearty)

      Two, she wasn't on Medicaid or getting any charitable assistance.

      Three, she wouldn't sell her house and move into smaller digs, instead allowing it to fall into ruin from sheer neglect.

      Bascially, she kept making bad choices and ended up dying, at a ripe old age and in poverty, of a heart attack.

      And this is capitalism's fault....

      1. trshmnstr   12 years ago

        At what point can we start blaming progs for being so anti-responsibility that they literally teach people to go against their own self interest?

        We're taught the story of the ant and the grasshopper at age 3. If a 3 year old can get the concept of saving for a rainy day, then why can't a large portion of adults? Perhaps it's because they feel entitled to spend every penny they earn because they "deserve it"? Perhaps it's because they think their government will prop them up?

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder   12 years ago

        And this is capitalism's fault....

        our sarcasm is lost on the average lefty who believes that it is the role of government to guide the misinformed thru their lives and ensure they don't make bad decisions.

        1. a better weapon   12 years ago

          our sarcasm is lost on the average lefty who believes that it is the role of government to guide the misinformed thru their lives and ensure they don't make bad decisions.

          ...and even if you make bad decisions, the government will pass along the takings from someone who did plan accordingly.

        2. Troy muy grande boner   12 years ago

          Whoa dude. When I say I want the use the tears of children to polish my monocle, I mean it.

  44. Jordan   12 years ago

    GTA Online launches today while the gov shuts down. One system for robbing people comes online, while one shuts down. The circle of life.

    1. Outlaw   12 years ago

      YAY!

    2. Ska   12 years ago

      Should be interesting to see. Is it limited to 16 players? And will there be private lobbies?

  45. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    aww... I wanted an apocalypse:

    History Suggests Shutdown Stakes May Not Be That High
    1995 battle didn't affect views of Clinton, Gingrich, nor U.S. in the long term

    As the federal government prepares to shut down for the first time since 1995/1996, historical Gallup data reveal that the repercussions of that past conflict ranged from none to short-lived, in terms of Americans' concerns about the U.S. and the political players involved. The 1995/1996 closure, which occurred when -- just like today -- Republican leaders in Congress and a Democratic president failed to agree on the budget, did little to impact Americans' views of President Bill Clinton, Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, Congress itself, the U.S. economy, and the country in general in the months after the shutdown began.

    1. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

      I'll settle for the last of the V8 interceptors.

    2. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

      That's because the shutdown didn't actually affect people in any meaningful way.

  46. sarcasmic   12 years ago

    Security footage shows six police kicking and beating a man before setting a dog on him, despite not appearing to resist arrest
    David Castellani, 20, was left with serious head and neck wounds
    He is suing Atlantic City Police for using excessive force

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....icers.html

    NBC discovered that Officer Wheaten had been investigated 15 times over allegations of misconduct, including 12 claims of excessive force or assault. None of the complaints were upheld.

    They never are.

    1. Andrew S.   12 years ago

      And, of course

      Atlantic City Police Chief Ernest Jubilee confirmed however that internal affairs and the Atlantic County Prosecutor's Office are both investigating. Chief Jubilee also claimed he viewed the recording and "saw no reason to suspend or remove the officers from their regular duties."

      The classic "he did nothing wrong, but we'll run a 'fair' investigation" response.

  47. sarcasmic   12 years ago

    Russian spy Anna Chapman refuses to discuss her tweeted marriage proposal to Edward Snowden in bizarre interview

    Chapman, 31, walked out of interview after being quizzed about her proposal on Twitter to NSA leaker
    Insisted she is a private person despite taking part in fashion shows, photo shoots and new TV show in Russia

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....rview.html

    1. Outlaw   12 years ago

      He totally hit it and quit it.

      1. Gbob   12 years ago

        On the bright side, there would be a good chance of Snowden leaking nude pics of her...and I'm totally alright with that.

        1. itsnotmeitsyou   12 years ago

          Ahem... (nsfw)

  48. sarcasmic   12 years ago

    Would you smoke a cigarette made of 24K GOLD? The $65 rolling papers that are the hot new thing for smokers with money to burn

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem.....-burn.html

  49. sarcasmic   12 years ago

    TV chef Anthony Bourdain upsets entire state of New Mexico after describing 'signature' Frito pie as 'colostomy pie' and claiming it's really a Texan dish

    A Frito pie consists of a bag of Fritos which has chili and cheese mixed in
    Bourdain upset locals after describing it as 'feeling like holding a warm crap in a bag'
    He then upset locals by claiming that it wasn't even a New Mexico meal, but rather a Texas creation
    But the sharp-tongued chef and writer also admitted that it tasted delicious

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....-dish.html
    I watched that and fucking fuckity fuck did it look disgusting.

    1. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

      I grew up in NM and never have heard of Frito pie, much less consumed it.

      1. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

        Well maybe as a cafeteria mystery meat.

      2. Jordan   12 years ago

        It's definitely a Texas thing.

        1. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

          It gets quite a few mentions on King of the Hill

        2. Brett L   12 years ago

          You mean you can't buy it at sporting events world-wide? I am disappoint.

      3. AuH20   12 years ago

        I have, but only moved to NM recently. Then again, New Mexico is not a... culinary-ily rich state. Green chili is good, but not on every freaking thing you stick on a plate.

        1. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

          Oh you poor deluded fool. Of course green chili shouldn't be in everything, spaghetti sauce should have red chili.

          True story, my Granny put chili in everything including spaghetti sauce. And she was Irish, but they moved to NM in the 30s.

    2. Emmerson Biggins   12 years ago

      not supposed to make it in the bag. The word "pie" is a clue.

  50. sarcasmic   12 years ago

    'They'll be forced off': Georgia's island community of slave descendents fight tax hikes of up to SIX HUNDRED per cent

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....homes.html
    Well, duh. That's the whole idea. When government wants to evict long time residents from their own land so rich people can move in, they raise the property taxes. Works every time.

    1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

      Last March I rented a house near Hunting Island, SC. It was a gated community with multi-million dollar homes. But you drive out to Buford and along the way it's mobile homes and run down shacks.

      1. RBS   12 years ago

        Welcome to South Carolina. Smiling Faces, Beautiful Places Trailers.

  51. sarcasmic   12 years ago

    Patriotic pins! A leggy Karen Gillan pays homage to her Scottish roots in a daring tartan miniskirt and fun 'Ginge' motif tee

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....f-tee.html
    Why oh why did she shave that ginger head... =-(

    1. db   12 years ago

      So sad.

    2. Cascadian Ephor Xenocles   12 years ago

      Is "pins" some sort of Brit slang for "legs?"

      1. robc   12 years ago

        Yes.

        American slang too, but more early 20th century.

  52. Longtorso, Johnny   12 years ago

    Schaub Story
    It's safe to say that Texans fans are beginning to turn on Matt Schaub. Schaub, whose skill level almost perfectly matches the public perception that the Texans are good enough to make the playoffs and not good enough to do any serious damage once they get there, threw a horrific pick-six on Sunday to open the door for a Seahawks comeback win, which is exactly what ended up occurring in overtime. Houston fans were so angry after the game and Schaub's third pick-six in three weeks that they went to the parking lot and started burning Schaub's jersey. That's the third-most destructive act you can execute as a Houston sports fan after denouncing advanced basketball statistics and attending an Astros game, so these are pretty brutal times....

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      I can't disagree. He's Flacco, but without the ability to be great for 3 games when it counts.

      1. Longtorso, Johnny   12 years ago

        And without the arm strength.

    2. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      That pick was one of the most atrocious decisions I have seen.

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        I like all the "Schuab didn't lose that game" apologia. Scoring -7 points in the 2nd half is a pretty good way to lose a game.

        1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

          You're up by 7 with a minuteish left. Why the hell are you throwing anything remotely risky? Just take the damn sack and make them use up a timeout.

  53. The Late P Brooks   12 years ago

    10. Murdering someone.

    Murdering someone's vagina, on the other hand...

  54. Damned Fool   12 years ago

    Funny news: Out of the five people in my housing, I'm the only one not actively mourning the shutdown. Three of the others are physics majors concerned about their funding, while one has a father who works for the government in energy. Two are reflexively progressive, and one has admitted to me that his entire rationale is self-interest while the other has implied it. Oh, and the non-physics major wants to be a technocrat so he can have power without accountability.

    Reason I bring it up: Is it wrong to glorify in the tears? Not openly, of course, since I value good relations, but deep within my heart.

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      You wouldn't be a good libertarian if you didn't enjoy the tears of the innocent.

      1. Jordan   12 years ago

        If he doesn't have a swimming pool full of tears, then he's already failed as a libertarian.

        1. Damned Fool   12 years ago

          I'm saving up for it, okay? Cut me some slack.

          1. PD Scott   12 years ago

            It's okay to bottle the tears and use them to fill a kiddie pool. Small steps, DF, small steps.

    2. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

      No, it's not wrong. Lap that shit up. I'm laughing my ass off about this. The only downside is that the fucksticks out there will make sure I'm on the shit list and hauled of to the salt mines in the end for merely enjoying the waves of salty sweet tears.

    3. trshmnstr   12 years ago

      Savor those tears! You drink well tonight!

    4. AuH20   12 years ago

      You don't glorify tears. You bottle them to savor later. I still have some "Wisconsin Recall" vintage sitting in my cellar. Went through a lot of it to get through the 2012 election results, I tell ya.

  55. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

    Tried to get insurance info on HealthCare.gov.

    The Texas version doesn't allow users to set up an account. It hangs up on the security questions page.

    As expected, ObamaCare was designed to FAIL.

    1. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

      And of course, they'll blame whatever vestige of the free market that remains in the currently fascist system. Bunch of disingenous shitbags. In other news, my punk band, Oby and the Disingenous Shitbags are playing tonight.

  56. AnonymousHoward   12 years ago

    I think this shutdown deserves a sound track. I'll start. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgGqv-H4LxQ

    1. trshmnstr   12 years ago

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HX6898nw-ks

      1. AnonymousHoward   12 years ago

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0R-vftcleU

    2. Aloysious   12 years ago

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....PzkYhKAjB8

      A good song to invade D.C. to

  57. Enough About Palin   12 years ago

    "President Obama, meanwhile, blames a "faction" of the GOP."

    Lying piece of shit.

    1. db   12 years ago

      He's just trying to give the GOP an out to blame it all on dirty Tea Partiers and be welcomed back to the fold.

  58. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

    [phone rings]

    "I have the Pope on the line. I'll put him through immediately."

    Here is the resulting interview with an atheist editor:

    http://www.repubblica.it/cultu.....-67643118/

    Some excerpts:

    "Proselytism is solemn nonsense, it makes no sense. We need to get to know each other, listen to each other and improve our knowledge of the world around us. Sometimes after a meeting I want to arrange another one because new ideas are born and I discover new needs. This is important: to get to know people, listen, expand the circle of ideas. The world is crisscrossed by roads that come closer together and move apart, but the important thing is that they lead towards the Good....

    "...Everyone has his own idea of good and evil and must choose to follow the good and fight evil as he conceives them. That would be enough to make the world a better place....

    "Heads of the Church have often been narcissists, flattered and thrilled by their courtiers. The court is the leprosy of the papacy....

    "[but he's not referring to the Curia (Vatican administration) ...it has one defect: it is Vatican-centric....The Church is or should go back to being a community of God's people, and priests, pastors and bishops who have the care of souls, are at the service of the people of God."

  59. Matrix   12 years ago

    Another day, another kid gets suspended for making gun shape with fingers

  60. seguin   12 years ago

    OHMIGLOB OHMIGLOB OHMIGLOB I JUST BROKE A CFL! WHAT DO I DO? THERE'S NO OSHA ANYMORE, THERE"S NO FEMA! WHO'S GONNA NOT CLEAN THIS UP TEN YEARS FROM NOW!?

    WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

  61. bersc52   12 years ago

    I just want to add my story. I get paid over $87 per hour working online with Google! I work two shifts 2 hours in the day and 2 in the evening. And whats awesome is Im working from home so I get more time with my kids. Its by-far the best job I've had. I follow this great link ,, http://www.Pow6.com

  62. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

    My buddy in college used to always get pissed at that opening scene, "You can't turn off a supercharger!"

  63. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    that didn't bother me when I was a kid - but yeah now it does.

  64. Bobarian   12 years ago

    You can turn off a super-charger, ala Mad Max, but it wouldn't really work very well.

    You need to have a bypass around the blower vanes for the air-fuel to proceed and a clutch on the crank to turn off the drive belt.

    The end result would be something that runs really poorly when the blower is off and a lot of blown up clutches on the drive belt.

    So, no improvement in mileage when shutting down the blower and poor dependability.

    Not exactly wasteland survival material.

    My choice would be something outfitted with a multi-fuel capable, air-cooled diesel motor.

  65. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

    I've rebuilt the top of an Alfa Romeo GTV6 (my crowning mechanical achievement) but I've no feel for how a supercharger works or why it is useless to turn it off. I guess I could try and read about it, but I never really understood how cars worked until I took them apart.

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