Cruz Marathon Speech Ends, Gen. Alexander Would Rather We Didn't Know About Surveillance, Calif. Min. Wage Increase Signed Into Law: P.M. Links

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  • Nex time, something by Roald Dahl, senator?
    C-Span

    Sen. Ted Cruz's unofficial anti-Obamacare filibuster ended at noon today. The marathon discussion lasted more than 21 hours.

  • Gen. Keith Alexander blames the anger by Americans (and the rest of the world) on the National Security Agency's surveillance methods on leaks and "sensationalized" reporting. Well, that's a rude way to describe those FISA court statements detailing their Fourth Amendment violations.
  • President Barack Obama's job approval is plunging among Democrats, dropping 13 percentage points since the start of the year. But it's still pretty high at 78 percent.
  • The U.S. Treasury Department has determined Oct. 17 will be the day we run out of money to pay the bills.
  • In Massachusetts, 158 proposed medical marijuana dispensaries have passed the first round of the licensing process. Eventually the number will be winnowed down to 35.
  • It's a done deal: Calif. Gov . Jerry Brown has signed the bill that would eventually increase the state's minimum wage to $10 an hour.
  • Those who may end up losing their jobs over the previous item may be nonplussed to discover that a computer glitch has cut off 800,000 Californians from their unemployment benefits.

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  1. Sen. Ted Cruz’s unofficial anti-Obamacare filibuster ended at noon today.

    You know who else was finally silenced?

    1. db

      The lambs?

    2. The crew of the Intrepid?

    3. mr simple

      Depeche Mode?

    4. PD Scott

      Hamlet?

    5. Ice Nine

      Bob?

    6. SIV

      Marcel Marceau?

    7. Enough About Palin

      Harpo?

    8. JEP

      Alderaan?

    9. Simon & Garfunkel

      1. Dr. Frankenstien

        +1

      2. Killazontherun

        Goddamnit! I was hoping for Scarborough Fair. Hey, link to the side there, never mind.

    10. Invisible Finger

      Roger Ebert?

      1. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

        He had been silenced for like 6 years when he died.

    11. Mike M.

      Andrew Breitbart?

    12. Generic Stranger

      Michael Hastings?

    13. Mike and the Mechanics?

  2. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

    It’s a done deal: Calif. Gov . Jerry Brown has signed the bill that would eventually increase the state’s minimum wage to $10 an hour.

    Too many people have jobs, apparently.

    1. Only $10? Fuck you, Seattle’s gonna do $15. Reckanize.

    2. As an Arizona resident, I applaud California’s efforts on behalf of Arizona economic development.

      1. cryptarchy

        Are you kidding Dean? All of that economic activity will be going to Maracopia county. Tucson is a dead city. It’s just that nobody realizes it yet

        1. TeamBarstool

          Tucson is a dead city

          We are the Detroit of the Pimer?a Alta

      2. Mickey Rat

        You do realize that you will soon be up to your eyeballs in people who voted for Jerry Brown, right?

  3. CE

    It’s a done deal: Calif. Gov . Jerry Brown has signed the bill that would eventually increase the state’s minimum wage to $10 an hour.

    10 is good, but why not 20? Who can live on 10 bucks an hour?

    1. SweatingGin

      especially in California.

    2. waffles

      I did for two months in California. Then I got a raise to 13/hr. Then a recruiter convinced me to move to Pittsburgh for a few times that.

      I think I regret it. Sunshine is easily worth 10-20 dollar per hour.

      1. Andrew S.

        Eff sunshine. I’ve lived in the cold, cloudy, snowy north (Syracuse, NY). I currently live in South Florida. I’d prefer Syracuse weather.

        1. waffles

          You’re right. Pittsburgh is pretty balmy in February compared to Syracuse. Still, I resent California for being so impossible to start a life in while having so much natural beauty.

          Maybe I want to live in Utah. Maybe.

          1. Not if you like to drink.

            1. waffles

              Well at least powerful hallucinogens know no state border.

            2. jesse.in.mb

              Are you kidding they have at least three solid breweries in SLC.

              1. I had a crash pad there in 99. Had to “join” to get into a nightclubs. Two drinks limits at Restaurants…

                I remember drinking was a huge pain in the ass. Maybe things have changed?

                1. jesse.in.mb

                  I dunno last time we were there the food was awesome and I don’t remember any limits on how many beers we could have. The state is still anti-drinking but the local breweries actually work together to lobby for less bullshit regulation.

        2. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sure SoFla is populated by lizard people and crazy, but Syracuse? That’s.. I mean try North Carolina outside the Research Triangle. Don’t cut of your dick because the hand job was bad.

          1. Andrew S.

            Before Syracuse I lived in Greensboro, North Carolina. So… ha?

            I’m just not happy in Florida. But to move I’d have to both find somewhere where I could be employed as a corporate lawyer, and take and pass another state bar. Which is a gigantic pain.

            1. See. Wouldn’t that be better than either Syracuse or Miami.

            2. Clich? Bandit

              OHHHH COOOOOOLOOOOORAAAAADOOOOO!!!!

            3. Don’t live in the least pleasant part of Florida?

            4. Mickey Rat

              Ah, I see. You are vermi…er, a lawyer. That is a problem.

        3. Ska

          How do you feel about Dinosaur bbq?

          1. Andrew S.

            I could write sonnets about my love for Dinosaur BBQ.

          2. Bill Dalasio

            I like the offshoot in Harlem. But, am I interfering?

            1. Ska

              Interfering? Nah, I just wanted to know if others liked it. I’ve only been to the Syracuse one, thought it was really good. I haven’t been to the one in Harlem.

              1. Bill Dalasio

                It’s pretty good. Huge place. I guess that’s why they located it up there. Overall, one of the better barbecue places in NYC. There are better ribs. And better pulled pork. But, between entire menu and atmosphere, few stack up to Dinosaur.

        4. Brandon

          Dude. California sunshine is not the same thing as Florida swampland humidity.

      2. Invisible Finger

        So the California minimum wage should be around 6 cents?

        1. Sevo

          “So the California minimum wage should be around 6 cents?”

          In CA, the actual minimum wage is exactly what it always has been: $0.00.
          And now that moonbeam has signed that bill, even more will be making it.

  4. rts

    Opponents score a victory in Senate against ‘Monsanto Protection Act’

    Called “The Monsanto Protection Act” by opponents, the budget rider shields biotech behemoths like Monsanto, Cargill and others from the threat of lawsuits and bars federal courts from intervening to force an end to the sale of a GMO (genetically-modified organism) even if the genetically-engineered product causes damaging health effects.

    1. Mickey Rat

      What sorts of “damaging effects” do you think are possible? Or do you like luddite scaremongering?

      1. rts

        None. I’m a proponent of GMO.

  5. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

    Those who may end up losing their jobs over the previous item may be nonplussed to discover that a computer glitch has cut off 800,000 Californians from their unemployment benefits.

    Well that explains why I had to wade through streams of blood while walking my dog this morning. Imagine if the libertarians had their way!

    1. Andrew S.

      The difference is that the progressives are doing the right thing ™. If it doesn’t work, it’s not the policy; the wrong people are in charge (or Team Red obstructionism. take your pick). If only the right people were in charge, everything would work great.

      While with libertarians… well, they hate anyone who isn’t white, male, and rich, and take pleasure in their failures.

      Goodness knows I do. Without those failures, where would I get my child slaves?

      1. Enough About Palin

        Someone needs to start up a highly-visible charity organization called The Libertarian Foundation that rasies tons of money and uses it to help the less fortunate. Maybe via a website like Kickstart.

        Hard to claim that libertarians are selfish when one can retort, “But what about the millions that The Libertarian Foundation raises for charity every year?”

        1. Andrew S.

          Anything such a foundation does would be either completely ignored, or there would be claims that “It’s just a vanity project to deflect from how evil libertarian policies are”.

        2. Neoliberal Kochtopus

          I love this plan.

        3. Mad Scientist

          Most poor people are not “less fortunate.” They’re morons who make conscious decisions to prolong their misery. I really do not give a damn about people who make astounding efforts to wind up homeless and then succeed at it. Giving money to people like that, or setting it on fire, provides equal results and is a waste of time. A Libertarian Charity would have to be damn careful about the sorts of people they helped if they ever wanted a donation from me.

          1. Archduke von Pantsfan

            I don’t get it.
            You don’t believe in second chances then?

            1. Mad Scientist

              Second chances, certainly. One Thousandth chances, no way.

          2. Clich? Bandit

            No, a Libertarian Charity wouldnt give (just) money…it would give education on how to make money. It would give help and contacts to those who show individual initiative. Holy shit I don’t need another project right now but DAMN.

            The creed could be: Give us your downtrodden and watch us make them successful.

            Obviously we would weed out, through objective means, those who are not adhering to the principles of liberty and self initiative.

            …

            damnit, i am now planning this out.

            1. Mad Scientist

              OK, I could get behind that sort of thing.

              1. Clich? Bandit

                Don’t tempt me. I am already texting my politics attorney about setting up a foundation.

                1. Brandon

                  I’m in.

            2. CE

              They already weed themselves out.

            3. jesse.in.mb

              Just do a DARE type program where kids go through personal finance management training at a young age with stupid personal finance mistakes instead of drugs:

              Tim: “Hey kid do you want to finance this XBox360 with a base cost twice what it would be on Amazon, but with really loose credit restrictions?”

              Billy: “No motherfucker, I’ll save the money every week until I can buy it in cash. Die in a fucking fire.”

              (This scenario brought to you by a coworker’s daughter who now has a terrible credit score after financing her brother’s ex-wife’s xbox because her brother’s ex-wife has the fiscal sense of a lobotomized bonobo)

              1. No wait… Financing an Xbox? I just… that’s silly. Even poor people can afford an Xbox with 3 months delayed gratification.

                1. jesse.in.mb

                  There’s a shop in LA called La Curacao.* They allow people with no or terrible credit open up a line of credit. They’re known for misrepresenting their credit policies and for being…aggressive about upselling and bundling. Items are commonly reported to be 2x-3x as expensive at these stores compared to other shops. They also have a reputation for your payments to go missing and for your credit line to be put into default.

                  PEOPLE STILL SHOP HERE. These stores are BUSY.

                  *The comments are fun.

            4. anon

              Obviously we would weed out, through objective means, those who are not adhering to the principles of liberty and self initiative.

              Uh, the ones that adhere to the principles of liberty and self initiative don’t generally go looking around for help from charities. At least, I didn’t.

          3. Enough About Palin

            How about kids dying of cancer then? I’ll admit “less fortunate” was a poor choice of words. I wasn’t thinking about the idiots in my neighborhood when I wrote it.

            1. Mad Scientist

              Sure, no problem. Adults too. Dogs even. But no government employees.

        4. Yeah, just like how the Koch brothers are so loved with all their charitable donations.

          PS: my bad if that was the joke.

        5. PapayaSF

          Excellent idea.

        6. CE

          That might work, if libertarians actually cared about the poor….

          1. Biden's Scroteplugs

            unlike prog run charities, which are all The Human Fund basically.

            1. There are prog charities? Huh. Who knew?

              1. Brandon

                Organizing for America.

  6. Archduke von Pantsfan

    hang on, I’m watching this last America’s Cup race.

    1. Archduke von Pantsfan

      The ambient sounds on the America’s Cup boats sound like mating goats.

    2. db

      Hang on… *sips orange drink*

      Hang on… *sips rubbing alcohol*

      Hang on… *sips orange drink*

      Hang on… *sips rubbing alcohol*

      Hang on… *sips orange drink*

      Hang on… *sips rubbing alcohol*

  7. …Jerry Brown has signed the bill that would eventually increase the state’s minimum wage to $10 an hour.

    And increase the state’s minumum unemployment rate as well.

    1. waffles

      Work is overrated. Especially in places with mild winters.

      1. SIV

        What about outdoor work? Get paid to enjoy the scenery and weather!

        1. waffles

          Perhaps I suffer from a lack of imagination but I’ve only ever been paid well to sit at a desk. I’ve been underpaid to be outside doing things that I love. But I have never found the compromise.

          1. Clich? Bandit

            Own a bikini judging contest company…
            seems legit.

            1. Red Rocks Rockin

              Own a bikini judging contest company…

              “The town is THAT way!”

    2. Invisible Finger

      On the other hand it will stop the outflow of illegal immigrants who will happily work for less than minimum wage.

  8. mr simple

    Those who may end up losing their jobs over the previous item may be nonplussed to discover that a computer glitch has cut off 800,000 Californians from their unemployment benefits.

    Actually, that was them fixing the glitch.

    1. Art Vandelay

      …so it will just work itself naturally.

      1. The DerpRider

        Call the Bobs.

      2. + 1 red Swingline.

        1. Clich? Bandit

          I wouldn’t say I been missin it Bob.”

  9. Gen. Keith Alexander blames the anger by Americans (and the rest of the world) on the National Security Agency’s surveillance methods on leaks…

    Yeah, knowing we have something to be angry about is always a catalyst for anger.

    1. Archduke von Pantsfan

      Alexander Keith?

      1. grrizzly

        I cannot decide which one is worse: Alexander Keith or Keith Alexander.

    2. db

      We’d all be so much happier, if only we were completely ignorant of any bad stuff that happens.

      1. PD Scott

        We need a Keith Alexander mitten. Put it on, pat your own head and a tiny speaker sewn in plays him saying “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

      2. CE

        I stopped watching the news 10 years ago. I’m much happier now.

  10. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

    The Privilege Tournament

    Privilege: so sweet to have. But even sweeter to not have. Privilege has its benefits, but the lack of privilege confers that sweet, sweet moral superiority. With that in mind, we have decided to determine who, exactly, has the least privilege of all.

    These days, teary privilege confessionals pour forth from the lips of college students in equal proportion to the fiery critiques of our grossly unjust world that pour forth from the unprivileged masses. None of it, however, is very scientific. This is the privilege bracket. It is like an NCAA bracket, but without the privileged assumption that you know about sports, which are an inherently masculine-dominated, ability-privileged activity. Here, we will pit eight categories of non-privilege against one another, tournament-style. Each round, the least privileged will advance. At the end, only a single category of non-privilege will be left standing. Or, more likely, unable to stand.

    It’s Gawker, so I’m not entirely sure if this is supposed to satirize how the concept of privilege has polluted discourse.

    1. CE

      I consider myself privileged not to ever have read Gawker.

      1. Mickey Rat

        Technically, that’s over now.

    2. Jordan

      No way that the writers at Gawker have become self-aware. Kotaku still routinely concern-trolls its readers about OMG TEH SEXISM and OMG TEH RACISM.

    3. SweatingGin

      I can only imagine the wailing and gnashing of teeth that will come from this. Inter-gawker wars with the Jezzies staging ambushes on every thread…

    4. Certified Public Asskicker

      This is too easy. Obviously the black team is going to dominate in basketball.

    5. Broseph of Invention

      I was confused on what privilege he was talking about. Is it “born with privilege” or “shown privilege”? That would significantly change my answers.

    6. KB Check Release

      ability-privileged activity

      Man would I love to take the grievance to the PGA Tour that Adam Scott is bigger, stronger, better looking, and more talented than I and it isn’t fair that I cannot play on the PGA Tour/Presidents cup because I don’t have the ‘ability-privilege’ he does.

      Sheesh.

      Also, 1-week until Presidents cup in my parents’ backyard/my former backyard!

      1. MJGreen

        “ability-privileged activity”

        In other words, an activity. Any activity requires the ability to do it. I can’t engage in the activity of whining about privilege, since I’m a white male.

        1. CE

          I don’t know… I’ve played golf, without any apparent ability to do so.

    7. waffles

      Yeah this definition of privilege is vague and useless. Thinking about comparative privilege feels too close to brain damage for my tastes.

    8. mr simple

      The comments are hilarious as people argue over which victim group really has more privilege. Oops sorry, not victim, survivor, or something.

    9. Mad Scientist

      Sara Jean wins.

  11. PD Scott

    Rage comic: A Holdup

    1. nothinghead

      That politician looks suspiciously like a libertarian.

  12. rts

    News organizations respond to Fed lockup questions

    Eric Hunsader, founder of the market analysis firm Nanex, says that’s because he saw simultaneous reactions to the Fed’s announcement last week in trading in New York and Chicago. That would be theoretically impossible if the information was released from the Fed’s headquarters in Washington. In theory, the trading reaction should have begun in New York several milliseconds before it began in Chicago, because information takes several more milliseconds to travel the longer distance.

    1. The difference is under 500 miles, which is under 3 ms assuming the information travels at the speed of light. (This doesn’t take into account the transmission times from the exchanges to Nanex.)

      1. rts

        The MotherJones spin:

        Yep. I’m not sure what to do about it, though. A tiny transaction tax still seems like a workable solution, although there are several real-world issues with it. Worth a look, though.

        In a related vein, let’s talk a bit more about this seven millisecond figure. That might very well be how long it takes a signal to travel from Washington, DC, to Chicago via a fiber-optic cable, but in fact the two cities are only 960 kilometers apart. At the speed of light, that’s 3.2 milliseconds. A straight line path would be a bit less, perhaps 3 milliseconds. So maybe someone has managed to set up a neutrino communications network that transmits directly through the earth. It couldn’t transfer very much information, but if all you needed was a few dozen bits (taper/no taper, interest rates up/down, etc.) it might work a treat. Did anyone happen to notice an extra neutrino flux in the upper Midwest corridor at 2 p.m. last Wednesday? Perhaps Wall Street has now co-opted not just the math geek community, and not just the physics geek community, but the experimental physics geek community. Wouldn’t that be great?

        Yikes.

        1. Hmm. IIRC, someone profitably built a dark-fiber network between NYC and CHI that was something like a 12ms cut in latency (at HUGE bandwidth). It seems that the original fiber was laid along rail and highway right-of-ways. Remember, it isn’t speed of light in a vacuum, its speed of light in glass, plus switching latencies.

          I know someone had theorized a similar savings by microwave relay towers over the dark fiber, but am unsure if that was executed.

          1. Clich? Bandit

            Level 3 and Zayo both have shortest distance low latency cables. And they are VERY PRICY to get on.

  13. CE

    The U.S. Treasury Department has determined Oct. 17 will be the day we run out of money to pay the bills.

    What do you mean “we”? They aren’t my bills, and I told them many times not to spend so much.

  14. rts

    Canada holds off on arms trade treaty even after U.S. signs

    Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird has said there is a potential link between signing on to the treaty and Canada’s now-abolished long gun registry.

    Baird’s spokesman said the government is still doing consultations on whether the treaty would affect lawful recreational firearms owners in Canada.

    1. Archduke von Pantsfan

      I hope the NDP applauds the Harper gov’t for not following blindly behind the Americans on this.

      1. rts

        Ahahaha… good one, Archduke.

        NDP foreign affairs critic Paul Dewar said he was shocked that the U.S., which has a much tougher gun lobby, has signed the treaty before Canada.

        “The fact that the government continues to refuse to sign the treaty indicates a preference for conspiracy theories over the simple truth: this is a treaty that will help save the lives of millions of civilians around the world and it has no impact on domestic owners of firearms,” Dewar said in an email.

        Save the lives of millions of civilians… wut?

        1. The SecState can sign whatever he wants; its not binding until its ratified by the Senate.

          In Canada, it may be binding when signed.

          1. rts

            Ratification

            … The ratification process is thus wholly controlled by the executive, although Parliament has had an ad hoc involvement in that process over the past 80 years.

            You guys really hit on something with that whole “separation of powers” thing.

  15. Archduke von Pantsfan

    William Boyd has left James Bond stirred, if not shaken.

    The British writer has taken on the fictional spy in Solo, a new 007 novel that balances fidelity to Ian Fleming’s iconic character with subtle changes.

    Bond fans will find much they recognize, along with some surprises ? one of which is that in Boyd’s mind, James Bond looks like Daniel Day-Lewis.

    1. Rhywun

      James Bond looks like Daniel Day-Lewis.

      I have no problem with that whatsoever.

    2. paranoid android

      “I…SHAKE…YOUR…MARTINI! I SHAKE IT UP!”

    3. I.. DRINK… YOUR… MARTINI!!!!

    4. Next time they restart the franchise, what I’d like them to do is to do the original stories in the period–and with the attitudes–they were set in.

  16. Warty

    Today was long and crappy, and so was the news. So let’s listen to some relaxing tunes.

    1. Archduke von Pantsfan

      quit fucking up reasonable

      1. Warty

        NO

      2. Try some music for relaxation.

      3. I wonder if you add him to the troll page if it will still fuck up your Reasonable?

  17. Winston

    What’s up with Welch, Hinkle and Suderman? Are they trying to prove Ann Coulter was right when she called libertarians “pussies?”

    1. Jordan

      It’s been a while since we had a TEAM RED troll to bring the derp around here.

      1. Warty

        No, it hasn’t.

      2. SIV

        Hinkle and Suderman are pushing the Republican Establishment talking points on defunding Obamacare. I missed Welsh doing anything of the sort.

        1. Winston

          I missed Welsh doing anything of the sort.

          I’m referring to Welch’s “polls show the people don’t support a shutdown.”

          1. Neoliberal Kochtopus

            I’m referring to Welch’s “polls show the people don’t support a shutdown.”

            OMG NOT FACTS

            1. Winston

              Yes because libertarians never oppose anything that polls well.

              1. Neoliberal Kochtopus

                OMG NOT FACTS

                1. Winston

                  Obama will never approve a spending cut. Obviously you will be bashing Rand Paul for trying to support a budget that will cut spending, not a chance of passing and will poll badly?

                  OMG NOT FACTS

                  1. CE

                    But the polls show that people want the government to spend less.

                    1. Winston

                      But did they support Paul’s proposed budget? And Obama won’t sign it and would provoke a shutdown that people don’t want either.

                  2. Neoliberal Kochtopus

                    How is you don’t get that straightforward reporting is NOT BASHING, you fucking chucklehead.

                    1. Winston

                      So then why doesn’t every thread on Paul or Amash point out that their bills have no chance of becoming law? I mean Paul’s budget has no chance of passing. If I where to write such a post and call it a waste of time and unpopular you wouldn’t say that I was “bashing” him?

                    2. Neoliberal Kochtopus

                      If it were ultimately destined to fail and didn’t poll well, that would be factual, you baboon.

                    3. Winston

                      If it were ultimately destined to fail and didn’t poll well, that would be factual, you baboon.

                      You would be fine if I or David Brooks or Huffpo wrote that?

                  3. Calidissident

                    Gladstone quit changing your handle. We know it’s you

        2. Pushing Rep Establishment talking points on OCare = being a pussy, in my mind.

        3. Neoliberal Kochtopus

          I wondered why straightforward reporting is considered “talking points”, but then i realize I’m talking to SIV, apparently the recipient of a botched lobotomy.

          1. Cytotoxic

            Speculation is not straightforward reporting. Suderman’s posts are mostly speculation of the weak, sandbagging, I’m-a-giant-pussy variety.

          2. Winston

            I’m not sure how “unicorn belivers” is straightforward reporting. And Hinkle’s “GOP is stupid for trying to oppose something that people don’t like in favor of something people do like” is well, stupid.

            1. Neoliberal Kochtopus

              I mean, seriously, on what planet do you have to live on to think the current President of the United States is going to sign a bill repealing PPACA?

              1. Winston

                I mean, seriously, on what planet do you have to live on to think the current President of the United States is going to sign a bill repealing PPACA?

                And this is different from any other libertarian hobby horse? NSA? Medicare? Social Security?

                I mean Hinkle wrote that GOP should focus of repealing Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security. No chance in hell Obama will sign those and they, unlike Obamacare, are popular.

              2. Cytotoxic

                How dense do you have to be to see that isn’t the point? This is (probably) to make the Dems own Obamacare and to stake a position for bargaining.

        4. Cytotoxic

          ITT Team Orange partisans circle the wagons around their saints and dial-up the butthurt.

      3. Winston

        I’m not the one saying Republicans should listen to Karl Rove and Peter King.

        1. Almanian!

          Nope – you AND Ann Coulter’s Adam’s Apple.

          So – two of you.

          Yaaaaay TEAM!

          1. Cytotoxic

            Um. It was Hinkle.

          2. Winston

            Yaaaaay TEAM!

            So the person who thinks that anyone who criticizes Reason is a Republican is calling me a partisan?

        2. Peter King is a fucking piece of shit.

          Just an observation.

  18. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

    Fineman: What the GOP has in common with Walter White

    The Republican Party used to be dull and relatively reasonable. It stood for spending restraint, free markets (for big companies) and gentle regulation of business. But it also stood for, or accepted, federal public works and scientific research, a foreign policy that was neither isolationist nor war-mongering, the use of federal power in the name of racial justice, progressive taxation, and a public piety of the most anodyne, “In God We Trust” kind.

    The party of Dwight Eisenhower — of Scotch and soda and sotto voce — is all but extinct.

    What’s left of it is barricaded in the U.S. Senate, under fire in a deadly turf war with Blue Meth Republicanism, a movement at times so angry, reductionist, apocalyptic, God-invoking, fear-mongering and obsessed with purity that it seems to have been concocted in the sub-basement of “Breaking Bad.”

    One of its younger, more aggressive leaders, Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas, just delivered a grandstanding faux filibuster against Obamacare. Insiders and “mainstream” media weren’t impressed, but then they weren’t his audience. The Blue Meth Crew was, and they will be back.

    I’ve read this twice and it still doesn’t make any sense.

    1. PD Scott

      The Republican party should be the ineffectual Outer Party for the Democrat Inner Party. Any actions that run counter to the narrative are psychotic and treasonous to our great nation.

      1. CatoTheElder

        Its purpose is to sustain the illusion that voters really have a choice in how they are to be ruled.

        1. PD Scott

          “What are you going to do, throw your vote away on a third-party candidate?”

    2. Enough About Palin

      “I’ve read this twice and it still doesn’t make any sense.”

      Let me help you with that. They are projecting.

    3. Winston

      Typical bullshit about the supposedly more sensible past GOP nevermind that they were the same statist fucks who were attacked by Democrats as insane libertarian warmongers. Just like today.

      And then there is the fear that the GOP might end up acting like the small-government fiscal conservatives they have claimed to, and have been attacked by the Democrats, be.

      1. #

        “And then there is the fear that the GOP might end up acting like the small-government fiscal conservatives they have claimed”

        This is part of the reason why I am excited that there is a non-zero chance that there could be a president rand paul. Watching democrats realize there is a legit effort to curtail government power will be priceless.

        All their past screaming about how extreme republicans are for being democrat lights who just attend church will look quaint.

      2. Eduard van Haalen

        As an intellectual exercise, why don’t they get started *now* on the essays they’re going to publish in 20 years denouncing the Republicans then, and saying how the Republicans of 2013 were so much more reasonable and moderate. Let them think of what compliments they’ll shower on Cruz, Paul, et. al. when comparing them to the Republicans of two decades from now. Don’t worry, they won’t have to publish the essays right away when it will actually *help* the people they’re praising – publication will be deferred until these folks are safely out of office.

    4. #

      If would be nice if dem hacks could mix up their MO once in a while.

      How long has it been now that the go to concern troll piece is “those republicans of yesteryear, that at the time I said were the spawn of Satin, are totally more rational and cool than today’s republicans”?

      1. Eduard van Haalen

        “spawn of Satin”

        I didn’t know fabric could reproduce.

        1. C. Anacreon

          Yes, just the petroleum-based ones.

        2. mr simple

          Eye warship Satin

    5. Cytotoxic

      “Remember when we called the GOP racist and extreme several years ago? We lied-but we REALLY mean it now!”

      1. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

        John McCain is a sensible moderate–except when the narrative dictates that he’s not.

    6. Cytotoxic

      Oh man I WISH the GOP were Heisenberg. Would that not be awesome?

    7. Bill Dalasio

      What’s to make sense of? This is standard Democratic operating procedure. Today’s politically active Republicans perpetually compare unfavorably to deceased or politically inactive Republicans. That has been the official line since I was a small boy. Give it ten years and we’ll be hearing how Gingrich was alright, and he would have had nothing to do with these lunatics in the Republican party now. Give it twenty, and we’ll be hearing how current Republicans are nothing like that nice Mr. Cruz or that sensible Dr. Paul.

    8. Lesson: the Democrats could even fuck up blue meth. They’re the Todd of the political world.

    9. Cascadian Ephor Xenocles

      Let me translate:

      Republicans are bad. Also, Breaking Bad is a popular show today.

  19. Archduke von Pantsfan

    RCMP Barbie?

    1. PD Scott

      “Law enforcement is hard, eh?”

    2. CE

      I’ve booked a trip to Canada, just to get arrested.

  20. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

    Lena Dunham’s Dick: A Craigslist Fan-Fic

    I was waiting for the L train when I saw you again. At first I couldn’t tell it was you. Someone had Sharpied a penis on your face. Then I looked closer and saw that the girl on the poster had a cow tattoo on her arm, just like the one I lied and said was cool that night we first hooked up at Oberlin. But she also looked more glamorous than I remembered you. She didn’t look like the type who after we boned would squeeze her belly and make it talk like a Muppet for a post-fuck interview. But then I knew for sure it was you when I saw a new HBO series from Judd Apatow and Lena Dunham.
    […]
    I thought about the time we first met. You were at The Feve with your red hoodie over your head, chewing on the string. I saw you reading Portnoy’s Complaint, my favorite, and asked what you thought. I’d seen you around with that clique of pretty Manhattan girls who knew each other from private schools, but it was you I was drawn to. You had that breezy city-kid confidence I envied. And I liked that you were plain looking; it made me think you were attainable. Beautiful people are like funhouse mirrors to me–I can’t see them without being reminded of my big nose or whatever. It’s the girls with imperfections that give my heart a boner.

    1. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

      We started hanging out. You showed me your short films. I remember that one where you got naked in the fountain and brushed your teeth until the campus police made you stop. I thought it was cool how you didn’t mind stripping naked in public like that (unlike me, who refused to even take his shirt off at the beach so our friends wouldn’t see my backne). But I didn’t get it. It’s a girl brushing her teeth in a fountain. What was I missing? I knew your parents were downtown artists who painted men with dildo faces or whatever, so maybe it was supposed to be avant-garde. I never understood that stuff, I just pretended to in college so I’d seem more intellectual. Did Judd Apatow get it?

      The first time you came over I asked this film major if I could borrow his John Cassavetes DVDs. I’d never seen a Cassavetes movie but thought he’d be the kind of guy you were into. So I left the cases lying around my room like I’d just binge watched them. I hoped you’d notice, but it never came up. Instead you flipped through my high school yearbook, asking me which girls I made out with, and then reading their inscriptions aloud. Later you gave me a blowjob and told me to finish on your neck. When I said that might be degrading, you just sighed and said, “Consider our orgasms a politics-free zone.”

      We never actually talked about being in a relationship. We just tacitly agreed to one when we started fucking without condoms.

      Look on his works, SugarFree, and despair!

      1. Neoliberal Kochtopus

        +1 Ye Mighty

      2. SugarFree

        Meh. I liked much of it, but the voice of the narrator is inconsistent and he/she comes off as more of a jealous little bitch than anything. Where’s the horror? Where’s the pain and humiliation? Where is the cosmos being ripped asunder and the bowels of reality itself boiling forth?

        He barely matches Lena herself: “I told him to punch me in the chest and the come on that spot.”

  21. PD Scott

    It’s good when people get a job in today’s economy: creepy Obamanoid Jim Messina joins board of green recipient of millions of Federal dollars.

    FTA:LanzaTech announced Wednesday that Jim Messina, Obama’s former deputy chief of staff, reelection campaign manager, and the head of his retooled campaign apparatus Organizing for Action was appointed to the company’s board of directors.

    “Jim’s proven ability to merge technology, messaging, and communications in support of ideas that transcend ‘business as usual’ will help us continue our mission of reshaping how our world sources and consumes energy,” LanzaTech chief executive Jennifer Holmgren said in a news release.

  22. I’m soliciting ideas for my new slashfic. Who should Si have a gay encounter with? I’m leaning towards Harrison Ford, because he has that sort of rugged appeal that us Duck Dynasty fans appreciate, but I think Tommy Lee Jones is also a strong contender in this category.

    1. Archduke von Pantsfan

      I don’t get it.

    2. Who should Si have a gay encounter with?

      Pauly Krugnuts.

    3. PD Scott

      A mallard?

    4. What the fuck is a “Si”?

      1. SugarFree

        It means “yes” in Spanish.

        1. Clich? Bandit

          It is a standard for units that the commie equopeeeeans use.

      2. Killazontherun

        He said yesterday its a character on Duck Dynasty.

  23. Lawyer laments this fine, outstanding officer of the law losing his job. Says he should be reinstated.

    He is also unsure which excessive force complaint led to the termination, which most sane people would call a red flag but most cops call a cause for celebration.

  24. ATF agents take over cigarette black market. I assume only non-draconian taxes on alcohol prevent them from “losing” several million gallons of booze, too.

    Government agents acting without authorization conducted dozens of undercover investigations of illegal tobacco sales, misused some of $162 million in profits from the stings and lost track of at least 420 million cigarettes, the Justice Department’s inspector general said Wednesday

    1. I wouldn’t exactly say they lost track of them.

      1. Its not like they care what the people they sold them to did with the smokes as long as the cash was right.

      2. PD Scott

        As I said earlier, I’m sure those cigarettes are even now leading authorities closer to notorious Mexican tobaccolords. Frankly, we common folk are screwing up their investigation with our silly concerns about accountability and whatnot.

    2. Tejicano

      It’s like they are following up on “Fast and Furious” with “Dumb and Delirious”. Who would have guessed that “cigarette walking” could be a valid phrase?

  25. Assault a police officer and act to cover up the crime? Get a decade or more in the slammer.

    Beat a handcuffed prisoner and cover it up? Get a whopping 14 months.

    But it gets better. The guy’s supervisor wanted to merely put a letter of reprimand in the officer’s file until other officers went to the FBI because of his “pattern of excessive force”. Of course, none of them arrested him when they saw him beating up a “civilian” “POS”.

    1. Andrew S.

      Remember that when the cop who murdered Sal Culosi was suspended, the union was furious that he received such a harsh punishment rather than merely a letter of reprimand, which was their preferred punishment.

  26. Archduke von Pantsfan

    Schools ban Afros

    “Why are you so sad?” a TV reporter asked the little girl with a bright pink bow in her hair.
    “Because they didn’t like my dreads,” she sobbed, wiping her tears. “I think that they should let me have my dreads.”
    With those words, second-grader Tiana Parker of Tulsa, Okla., found herself, at age 7, at the centre of decades of debate over standards of black beauty, cultural pride and freedom of expression.

    1. Wait until the little girls weaponize their Afros.

      1. PD Scott

        Knew what it was without clicking. Pam Grier kicked so much ass in those movies.

    2. CE

      One more reason to never send your kids to government schools.

    3. Anonymous Coward

      She could be hiding contraband or weapons in that fro.

      School Officer safety is paramount!

    4. Calidissident

      Damn that’s fucked up

  27. Rapist cop given a paid vacation while he awaits trial.

    But a teacher can be fired immediately for being in a porno a decade earlier under a “morals” clause. Yeah, that makes sense: engage in a lawful activity and lose your job right away. Be a rapist and keep getting paid until the trial date.

    1. Ebriosa

      He didn’t leave his rape lying around where children could see it if they looked really really really hard = obviously upstanding dude.

  28. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

    Modern Family’s appalling lack of class consciousness

    The Pritchett clan should do whatever makes them happy in their fictional universe. But the most jarring part of “Modern Family” is that there’s no contrasting perspective. Everyone on the show has a large and tastefully decorated home; each of the three families, despite their differences in age, sexual orientation and racial makeup, is able to spring for big group vacations without mentioning the price. Their differences are narcissistically obsessed over, when their commonalities ? the social capital and wealth to afford homes and college educations ? allow them to engage with one another in their preferred, vacation-heavy manner. The show makes a point of drawing out differences in outlook between the older couple, the younger couple and the gay couple ? and yet all of them are able to afford keeping a parent home full-time, and none of them seem ever to meet anyone unlike them out in the world. No wonder they all spend so much time together ? in a still-difficult labor market and with the cost of living rising, they’re anomalies.

    Comrades! Reject the idiot box’s allure of false consciousness!

    1. Lady Bertrum

      Television doesn’t accurately reflect reality? Who would’a thunk it.

      1. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

        It’s okay if it doesn’t reflect reality when it comes to issues the left cares about, like showing a gay couple as capable parents.

        Not saying gays aren’t capable of being good parents, but wouldn’t this critique make everything about that show suspect?

      2. PapayaSF

        And have you noticed how everyone in TV and movies always gets a great parking place? Doesn’t everyone long for the realism of 5, 10, or 15 minutes searches for parking in every scene with a car?

      3. db

        I have yet to see a sit com even brush up against the possibility that “normal everday” people actually keep guns in their homes and don’t end up killing everyone in sight.

    2. Actually, that strikes me as being a perfectly plausible group of friends, as most friends tend to have similar socio-economic status.

      1. jesse.in.mb

        It’s not just that their friends, it’s a clan. The older couple is the father with his younger second wife and her son, then it’s the daughter and her idiot husband and their three kids, and the son, his husband and their daughter. Plausible group of friends, but absolutely expected if they’re an upper-middleclass family.

        1. Not a Libertarian

          All of the relationships on Modern Family make “class sense” to me I guess.

          Although I have always wondered why the Jesse Ferguson character would have ended up with the Eric Stonestreet character. And not necessarily the physical differences between the two actors but the personalities of the two characters,.

          Ferguson’s real life husband is quite yummy.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            Yeah, he did quite well for himself in real life. I for one like scruffy redheads (although I prefer the daywalkers).

            I agree that Mitchell and Cameron don’t make much sense as a couple personality-wise.

    3. waffles

      How I met your Mother is particularly egregious on this affront.

      1. Not a Libertarian

        How I met your Mother is particularly egregious on this affront.

    4. CE

      They’re called “credit cards”.

    5. Nothing says “comedy” like watching poor people struggle to pay the bills.

      1. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

        Didn’t ‘Good Times’ take place in the Chicago housing projects?

        Clearly today that would make an ideal location for a comedy.

      2. CE

        It worked for Married with Children, and the Bundy’s neighbors were yuppie bankers. (Who lived in the same neighborhood as a shoe salesman, for some reason.)

        1. Red Rocks Rockin

          That was one of the more puzzling anachronisms of that show. How the hell does a family of four live in a home with vaulted ceilings, in Chicago, on a mall shoe salesman’s salary?

  29. Kentucky cops find side work as janitors in an attempt to supplement their income.

    Looks like they may have been “cleaning” in more ways than one.

  30. Michigan cops don’t know the law on open carry on one’s own property. Apparently don’t care to know it either.

    The cop’s boss tries to make up a bunch of bullshit to contradict the video and comes up empty.

    Nothing. Else. Happens.

  31. Floyd Mayweather, I like your troll

    For several of his most recent fights, including his Sept. 14 bout against Canelo Alvarez and his May 2012 fight against Miguel Cotto, Mayweather had pop superstars Justin Bieber and Lil Wayne escort him to the ring. So how can he top that dynamic duo?

    With the one and only “Twerk Queen.”

    In an interview with Billboard, Mayweather says he would like Miley Cyrus to walk him to the ring for his next fight.

    “I was thinking about letting the twerk queen Miley Cyrus bring me out, why not?,” Mayweather said.

    1. He’s just awesome. I mean, he’s no model citizen, but he’s possibly the greatest bad-guy champion in at least a couple of decades. And the fucker is the best at his profession in the world.

      1. He does seem like the guy who is too busy swimming in his pool of money between beating all comers to worry too much about what people think of him.

    2. SF’d the link.

    3. Anonymous Coward

      I’m sort of indifferent to Floyd Mayweather because I’ve become indifferent to boxing, but from what I’ve seen of him, he’s actually as good as he thinks he is.

  32. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

    Ostensibly happy woman earns engagement ring by making her boyfriend 300 sandwiches; Jezebel is not amused

    That settles it. Eric, spokesperson for men everywhere, has declared it: all women have needed to do this whole time is make sandwiches. Every magazine that you gals like to read can go ahead and close up shop; MEN HAVE BEEN SOLVED BY ERIC THE SANDWICH WHORE.

    Even though we now know, collectively as a Lady Monolith, how to please men, collectively as a Man Monolith, a few loose ends were left untied in Smith’s piece. Namely: how complicated a sandwich are we talking here? Would Eric still light up Stephanie’s ring finger if she just half assed the last 124 sandwiches by making him a pile of peanut butter on folded bread monstrosities? What is the minimum number of ingredients required for Eric to count it as 1/300th an engagement ring? Are there any substitutions for sandwichmaking? What’s the sandwich-to-blowjob conversion rate (my boss suggested that 1 BJ is worth 2 4-or-more-ingredient sandwiches; I’m inclined to agree)?

    But I’m optimistic that these two crazy kids can make it work. After all, if a relationship between two thirtysomethings can’t thrive on a combination of desperation and entitlement, then what hope do any of the rest of us have?

    1. PD Scott

      In the Bible, David had to get 100 Philistine foreskins to earn Saul’s daughter’s hand in marriage. He went ahead and got 200, in case Saul was picky about what was and wasn’t a foreskin, I guess.

      Seems like more work than 300 sandwiches.

      1. Just another case of men having to work harder than women to get a similar outcome.

        The fucking matriarchy has been doing this kind of bullshit since Pharaoh.

      2. Certified Public Asskicker

        When someone mentions David and Goliath, I like to say “Defeating Goliath was easy, the dude had to then get 100 foreskins!”

      3. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

        That’s a lot of foreskins.

        1. Mickey Rat

          It is a lot of foreskin harvesting.

          1. JiffyMoyel

      4. Anonymous Coward

        In the Bible, David had to get 100 Philistine foreskins to earn Saul’s daughter’s hand in marriage. He went ahead and got 200, in case Saul was picky about what was and wasn’t a foreskin, I guess.

        Sometimes, you have cut up a lot of men’s penises before you find true love.

      5. db

        The worst part was when Saul had all the foreskins sewn into a jacket for David to wear at his wedding.

      6. Tejicano

        So Saul wanted a foreskin sandwich – or did I read that wrong?

    2. Ebriosa

      Jez is more upset that she’s made these sandwiches because “it’s time” to get married. I gotta agree. That takes all the cuteness and fun out of it. If my husband made me 300 sandwiches because it’s about time we went on a couples cruise or something I don’t really care about, I would not enjoy those sandwiches.

      This is an insult to sandwiches.

    3. mr simple

      It reads like an attempt to get a book deal out of a silly blog. Just another cutesy made up backstory for a slice-of-life book/movie that no one really wants to read/see.

    4. jesse.in.mb

      Better question: What is the monetary equivalent of the time spent making sandwiches vs the cost of the ring she’s getting?

      Let’s be overly generous and say these sandwiches take 20 minutes to make each and she’s earning CA minimum wage (the new one!) so every three sandwiches is worth $10 (she’s working in the shadow economy so no taxes for her). So her sandwich making is worth (on the high end) $100, no?

      I hope three months of his salary isn’t equal to $100.

      1. Mickey Rat

        When she marries him she gets a claim on half his stuff. Thse sandwiches are likely a bit more pricey than $100.

      2. Neoliberal Kochtopus

        That’d be $1000, jesse.

        1. jesse.in.mb

          Math, how does it work?

          What’s sad is that I’d typed it out correctly and then changed my last sentence and fucked it up.

    5. Clich? Bandit

      THIRTY SOMETHINGS!!!???!!!

      Holy fuck these chicks think women are stupid. I know that teens and twenty somethings can be pretty dense when it comes to men but by 30, pretty much every chick I know is an ass kicker and can handle herself.

      1. Well, the ones who learned from their divorces, anyhow.

  33. Archduke von Pantsfan

    Hid your daughters gerbils

  34. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

    Fox responds to ABC’s ‘Avengers’ by green-lighting ‘Gotham’, a show about Gotham City before the rise of Batman

    Why make one show about the mere humans living in a superhero-driven world, when you could have two? Last night, while audiences were watching Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson on the pilot episode of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Fox threw its lot in with Gotham, a Batman prequel show developed by The Mentalist creator Bruno Heller that will cover “the origin stories of Commissioner James Gordon and the villains that made Gotham famous.”

    A Gotham City police procedural isn’t a new concept ? the Eisner and Harvey Award-winning comics series Gotham Central, written by Ed Brubaker and Greg Rucka, was set firmly in the shadow of the Bat, and chronicles the challenge of the G.C.P.D. and traditional law enforcement in a city already overrun by masked criminals and vigilantes. If Gotham takes place pre-Batman ? and thus before the rise of his rogues gallery ? it’ll need to take a very different route.

    I think that has potential. He makes an astute comparison to the short-lived BSG prequel ‘Caprica’ as an example of a good way to handle the material.

    1. Anonymous Coward

      A police procedural set in Gotham actually has some potential.

      In the Batman mythos, Gotham was run by the mob before the rise of the Caped Crusader.

      Crooked pols, crooked cops, clean cops (I know, only in fiction), and mobsters.

      Should be good for at least two seasons.

      1. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

        And then you have to introduce Batman. I personally would love to see The Long Halloween adapted into a miniseries since that covers how Batman went from fighting the mob to fighting masked supervillains.

        1. Anonymous Coward

          That might be interesting, especially if they played it largely from the civilian/cop/mob perspective of “Batman the Urban Legend” before he meets Liutenant Jim Gordon.

    2. CE

      How about a cop show set in Metropolis before Superman shows up?

      Oh wait, that’s every cop show on TV already.

    3. Not a Libertarian

      “Caprica” was an idea that the Network shoehorned into a BSG prequel.

      Just by existing in a non-BSG universe from the pilot forward, it would have instantly improved the series.

  35. Coeus

    Sage words of wisdom from jezebel commenters:

    RuthSlayderGinsburgULaura Beck1651L
    So…he’s a racist. That pretty much just ends it for me, period. All the other stuff is just shitty icing on the racist cake.

    It’s like guys on OKC who say they love “all music, except rap.” I know you THINK you’re being subtle, dude, but I’m 100% sure you’re not some huge zydeco or Argentinian pan-flute aficionado, either. Coded racism is still definitely racism!

    IamnotXenaWarriorPrincessURuthSlayderGinsburg171L
    I never thought about it that way, interesting.

    I’m not on OCK, but I hear a lot of people answer that question saying “all music except country.” Any thoughts on that (no snark intended, I’m genuinely curious) Today 11:20am

    RuthSlayderGinsburgUIamnotXenaWarriorPrincess1L
    Not really, as country music isn’t the only type of music associated with white people (so to say you don’t like it doesn’t specifically exclude one race from most other types of music we’d then assume you like). I think it’s kind of a dumb thing to say (as there’s a huge difference between different country artists throughout the ages and they’re not really a cohesive category in many ways) but not really the same thing at all. Today 11:34am

    1. Certified Public Asskicker

      It’s a huge, yet entirely subtle red flag to me when none of a guy’s favorite music on OKC is made by black people. Like, how is that even possible? Have you no taste?

    2. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

      It’s like guys on OKC who say they love “all music, except rap.” I know you THINK you’re being subtle, dude, but I’m 100% sure you’re not some huge zydeco or Argentinian pan-flute aficionado, either. Coded racism is still definitely racism!

      What if he doesn’t like rap (and I certainly don’t like it) but likes jazz, Motown, Chuck Berry, Marvin Gaye, etc?

      1. Mad Scientist

        Same here. Rap is awful. But gimme some Satchmo or James Brown or Duke Ellington or Morcheeba or Dinah Washington or Billie Holiday or Ella Fitzgerald or B.B. King or Buddy Guy or …

        1. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

          Your cultural appropriation of Negro music is duly noted. I bet you want them to only perform on stage and wait on the white patrons at your swanky night club!

      2. MJGreen

        No. The only “black music” that exists is rap. This completely non-racist woman intimated as much.

    3. Enough About Palin

      “Not really, as country music isn’t the only type of music associated with white people”

      So the blacks are just associated with rap? That’s some racist shit right there

      1. Killazontherun

        No kidding. On a similar note, I see black musicians trending back into playing in rock bands. That’s a very good development.

    4. but I’m 100% sure you’re not some huge zydecoor Argentinian pan-flute aficionado, either

      *dials up some Buckwheat Zydeco on the mp3 player, and then follows it with some Zanfir* Is that so?

    5. Calidissident

      I like rap (not all rap, but that’s true of any type of music) but this is just stupid. The vast majority of popular music has heavy black influence, and there are plenty of genres, as others noted, where blacks still are or historically were most of the popular musicians in that genre. I’m sure there are racist white people who hate rap because it’s associated with and primarily performed by lower-class blacks, but that doesn’t mean anyone who doesn’t like it is racist.

    6. PapayaSF

      I don’t like rap or sports, so I’m extra racisty I suppose.

      But I like Motown and classic jazz (before Charlie Parker got ahold of it). And Thomas Sowell. Does that help?

      1. Libertymike

        Do you like the Stylistics, the Spinners, the Hues Corporation, Major Harris, EW&F, the Brothers Johnson, Roberta Flack and Walter Williams?

        1. Tejicano

          My Friday anthem, after I leave work and get on the train to head off for an evening on the town, is George Clinton’s “Atomic Dog”. When I need to smile I dial up some 70’s funk.

  36. SugarFree

    And now… Brienne of Tarth, nude in a clown wig.

    1. Archduke von Pantsfan

      I’m too nervous to click this.

      1. Apatheist ?_??

        Saved to pocket for after work.

        1. jesse.in.mb

          Archduke von Pantsfan|9.25.13 @ 4:39PM

          quit fucking up reasonable

          1. Apatheist ?_??

            no? too lazy for that shit. I’ve been too damn busy to post much since this started neways.

    2. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

      Did she take a mace to the crotch?

      1. SugarFree

        Whatever it was, it wasn’t particularly sharp.

    3. JW

      What this is….

    4. Killazontherun

      Former Olympian, she also did professional photography modeling after her gig as an Olympian. Hard to find those sets though. I hope that isn’t from them, I’ll be disappointed.

      This is more like it,

      http://acatastrophewaitress.fi…..ristie.jpg

      she’s very pretty there.

  37. Sevo

    “In Massachusetts, 158 proposed medical marijuana dispensaries have passed the first round of the licensing process. Eventually the number will be winnowed down to 35.”

    Glad they haven’t ‘legalized’ oh, breathing.

    1. PD Scott

      They should do it in pageant format, with the final dispensary awarded the coveted green crown.

    2. Nope, nothing arbitrary and capricious there.

      Any bets on the percentage of winners that just happen to have some connection to the people handing out the trophies?

  38. Coeus

    An article on feministing where we find out what’s really going on with their views on alcohol.

    They’re all fucking teatotallers. No wonder they have such militant views on sex and alcohol. It never applies to them,

    1. rts

      Hey now, I’m a teetotaller and yet believe that heroin should be sold in vending machines.

      Sex too, for that matter.

      1. PD Scott

        Like the tiny person inside the Redbox, or like a snack vending one where you choose and have to bang on the glass when your prostitute gets stuck half way down, looking out at you boredly as you shake the machine, trying to get him or her out?

        1. Coeus

          Redbox gloryhole. This has possibilities.

          1. SugarFree

            Redbox Gloryhole

            I hear that’s what they are going to call The Cleveland Browns when the franchise moves to Toronto.

            1. Letting their fans down will take on a whole new dimension.

      2. Coeus

        Hey now, I’m a teetotaller and yet believe that heroin should be sold in vending machines.

        Because your stated motto isn’t “the personal is the political”.

        1. “The personal is political” is the same thing as “There is no aspect of your life that the state shouldn’t control.”

          1. PapayaSF

            +1984

  39. Mongo

    It’s nice to see you use the word ‘nonplussed’ correctly, Mr. Shackford.

    1. Boisfeuras

      Randy: “Would you like to have sex with my wife? Because we would be amenable to that… Well? Why do you look so nonplussed?”

      Archer: “I wasn’t sure you knew what ‘amenable’ meant, until you followed it up with ‘nonplussed’.”

  40. Coeus

    Obama’s Real Problem on Capitol Hill? Race

    They know we can’t prove it. We can deduce and infer from their actions, statements and policies. But we can’t confirm that congressional Republicans, a bloc of nearly unbroken whiteness, and their media hatchet people are stealthily deploying race — blackness — to obstruct President Barack Obama at every turn.

    1. Winston

      Yes because the GOP did everything the Dems wanted until now.

      Seriously if Obama made himself dictator and killed all gays, made women into sex slaves, banned abortion, banned unions and re-enslaved the other blacks would they call opposition to any of that racist?

    2. We can’t prove it, we can’t confirm it, but by God we are going to accuse them of it non-stop.

      I’d love to see a libel suit against one of these DemOp commentators. Even under the “actual malice” standard, I think you’d have an excellent case.

    3. Eduard van Haalen

      “On specific issues, congressional Republican obstructers will say things like, We have policy differences with the president. These are matters of principle. That’s why we fight the president on damn near everything: health care, nominations, Libya, income-assistance programs, gun control, the debt limit and budget; that’s why we’re on the brink of shutting down the Federal government.”

      So the author *does* have standards of evidence – you can prove you’re not racist by supporting Obama’s nominations, his undeclared wars, his welfare policies, his gun-control initiatives, and his spending policies.

      1. Eduard van Haalen

        But what about someone who voted for Sotomayor and Kagan but was against gun control and the Libyan war? Are they 50 percent racist?

        1. PapayaSF

          There’s a one-drop rule when it comes to racism.

    4. Brandon

      Isn’t the only black Senator a Republican?

      1. PapayaSF

        Quiet, racist! You are disrupting the narrative!

  41. Coeus

    Holy shit, is that bitter:

    Did you know there are such things as Proposal Planners now? People who can help you plan your elaborate public proposal which definitely needs choreography and back-up dancers and several professional camerapeople to record and edit the entire thing so you can upload it to YouTube and hopefully get on The Today Show or whatever I don’t even know.

    Do you think it’s a coincidence that weddings now have to be BIGGER and BETTER and WAY MORE EXPENSIVE than they used to be, and proposals now have to merit national interest if you don’t want to be the LOSERS whose engagement didn’t even warrant a spot on morning television, especially if you’re a straight white pair of gorgeous kyriarchetypes, right around the same time the nation started considering that maybe treating marriage as a privilege is kind of a jerk move? I think it’s not a coincidence!

    “Let’s reclaim privilege with badly choreographed dance moves to some garbage currently on the pop charts! Or something!”?Straight America.

    1. What’s wrong with thinking that the obsession was nearly bankrupting yourself to put on an overly elaborate wedding is unhealthy?

      1. Calidissident

        Seriously? The writer wasn’t just saying that was unhealthy – he/she (didn’t check) is saying that homophobia is the reason for public proposals. That’s idiotic.

        1. Ah, okay. I was focussing on the “Do you think it’s a coincidence that weddings now have to be BIGGER and BETTER and WAY MORE EXPENSIVE than they used to be, and proposals now have to merit national interest if you don’t want to be the LOSERS whose engagement didn’t even warrant a spot on morning television” part.

          1. Neoliberal Kochtopus

            That’s because you didn’t read what you were responding to.

      2. Apatheist ?_??

        Nothing wrong with it but I don’t see how anybody gives a shit what other people do with their weddings/proposals.

    2. kyriarchetypes

      Bad writers, and especially scientific, political, and sociological writers, are nearly always haunted by the notion that Latin or Greek words are grander than Saxon ones, and unnecessary words like expedite, ameliorate, predict, extraneous, deracinated, clandestine, subaqueous, and hundreds of others constantly gain ground from their Anglo-Saxon numbers…It is often easier to make up words of this kind (deregionalize, impermissible, extramarital, non-fragmentary and so forth) than to think up the English words that will cover one’s meaning. The result, in general, is an increase in slovenliness and vagueness.

    3. Even if you link the rise is over-the-top weddings to the gay marriage movement (as this person(?) seems to do), how is that a bad thing? How do you get from “OMG the gays want to marry and I hate that” to “I want my wedding to be fabulous”.

      If you really think marriage is being devalued by teh gayz, wouldn’t that make you spend less on your own?

    4. My parents were ribbing us about a friend’s wedding (as ours cost maybe $500 if you count going to lunch afterwards and giving the friend who performed the ceremony a small gift), then did the math and figured in inflation and realized that they had a $15000 2013 wedding in 1972.

      1. And they came from a HS principal and a cop, so upper edge of the middle class.

    5. lap83

      The worst thing about that post is..who goes out of their way to read about things that make them fuming mad?
      I mean…besides us, when we do it it’s cool because um, stuff.

    6. paranoid android

      “Let’s reclaim privilege with badly choreographed dance moves to some garbage currently on the pop charts! Or something!”?Straight America

      So the author offers an assertion: that elaborate proposals are a phenomemon concoted by straight people with the insidious motive of “reclaiming privelage” and affirming their superiority to gays.

      The author offers absolutely no evidence to support this thesis, and in fact contradicts it at many points, but, having taken for granted that it must be true anyway, proceeds to mock how silly this supposed plan of straight people is with the above-quoted line.

      I’m just trying to wrap my head around how it can never occur to her that maybe the issue is that her entire premise is bullshit…

  42. Let’s see if I still fuck up reasonable.

    1. Apparently not.

      1. To the timesuit!

  43. Coeus

    Ted Cruz, You’re No Wendy Davis

    Now this fake filibuster. It’s not particularly hard to see that Cruz is hoping that what worked for Wendy Davis will work for him. Pretty much every male right winger in Texas wakes up and falls asleep muttering “that bitch, that bitch, who does she think she is, oh she thinks she’s so hot, but I’m just gonna call her ‘Abortion Barbie’ that’ll wipe that smile off her too-pretty face, that bitch, that bitch” about Davis these days, because she had the gall to remind the country what total assholes right wing Texans are, and did it while looking fabulous the entire time. The chance that Cruz is not part of this obsessive anger circle jerk is somewhere between 0% and .01%.

    1. MJGreen

      Jesus. Marcotte wouldn’t be able to give a good argument for something like “water is wet.”

    2. Brandon

      It really is projection all the way down with Marcotte.

    3. anon

      To be fair, “Abortion Barbie” is a pretty awesome name.

    4. Cascadian Ephor Xenocles

      Didn’t Davis’s effort eventually wind up meaningless too?

  44. trshmnstr

    Pretty much every male right winger in Texas wakes up and falls asleep muttering “that bitch, that bitch, who does she think she is, oh she thinks she’s so hot, but I’m just gonna call her ‘Abortion Barbie’ that’ll wipe that smile off her too-pretty face, that bitch, that bitch” about Davis these days

    TBH, as a male “right winger” (by her fucked up definition) in Texas, let me go ahead and say that nobody has given 5 seconds of thought to that politician since her little public climax. I had a hard time even remembering where I heard that name until I saw “Abortion Barbie”.

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