A.M. Links: Syrian Govt Rejected Soldiers' Request to Use Chemical Weapons, NSA Won Big in Court Case, Sony Delays Release of PS4


  • The Syrian government reportedly refused to authorize the use of chemical weapons, according to messages intercepted by a German spy ship. President Bashar al Assad and his Russian allies insist the United Nations continue their probe for the alleged weapons, stating that there is no evidence the government is responsible for attacks. Nevertheless, Secretary of State John Kerry demanded that the Syrian government hand over "every single bit" of their chemical weapons within a week. The White House also released graphic video of the gas attacks in Syria in a bid to drum up support for intervention in Washington and among the public.

  • Oh look, Congress' attention to the intervention in Syria is drowning out ongoing political issues like the farm bill, immigration, and the debt limit.
  • The Obama Administration won permission for the National Security Agency to search deliberately through Americans' communications in a 2011 court ruling that overturned a Bush-era ban. Unsuprisingly, it was also revealed that the NSA is collecting data from smart phones.
  • Dennis Rodman said that he has a big announcement when he returns from North Korea, where he was visiting authoritarian ruler and "friend for life" Kim Jong Un.
  • The Chinese government is threatening three years in jail for anyone who spreads rumors online.
  • Serena Williams continues to be one of the most dominant tennis players as she won her fifth US Open.
  • Sony spurned Japan and announced that it will delay releasing the PS4 for three months in order to fulfill holiday demands in America. USA! USA! USA!

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    1. Sure you are.

      1. a first time for everything.

    2. Being first doesn’t count unless you comment on one of the stories. Watch Fist and learn.

  1. Nevertheless, Secretary of State John Kerry demanded that the Syrian government hand over “every single bit” of their chemical weapons within a week.

    Had Kerry made that assertion before America proved its lack of interest in attacking Syria, that might have meant something.

    1. There’s not even enough American interest to authorize an elliptical “or else”

    2. “You hand those over to me right now! Every single one of them! You’ve misbehaved and you’re a baddie. I said RIGHT NOW! EVERY SINGLE LITTLE BIT!”

      Jesus, what a sick joke.

      1. “Got your chemical weapons *right here*!”

    3. Kerry is not serious about this proposition. It is really his idea of argumentum ad absurdum rather than an ultimatum.

      Kerry knows full well that it is logistically impossible for Assad to comply with the proposition he made. Kerry probably just using it to paper over the fact that it is politically impossible to launch immediately, and militarily problematic to launch before next week given the delays that those pesky little people (i.e., American voters) have created.)

      1. Nah, Kerry just wants to make sure that everyone knows he’s a complete buffoon.

  2. Bloody hell, Australian libertarian micro-party gets a senator elected by mistake


    1. Wow, you guys are doing better than the Libertarian Party. Sigh.

    2. “There would be some people who voted for us because we were first on the ballot paper – there is always a sizeable number of people who don’t care and vote for the first one on the paper, and with such a big ballot paper that was probably a factor.

      “Then there are some people who mistook us for the Liberals, probably the Liberals, but they could also have mistaken us for the Christian Democrats or even the ordinary Democrats.”

      Three Cheers for mandatory voting!

      1. Your name is rather disturbing. Thanks for the charming image.

        1. Yeah, first time I saw that, I think I skipped lunch that day…

    3. I notice one of the sidebar stories is titled “Abbott’s challenge: govern for all”. Do you think the ABC ever had stories titled, “Gillard’s challenge: govern for all”?

      1. Ha! BTW Ted, if you’re interested in Aussie politics you might find this entertaining – the Coalition got a psychiatrist in who diagnosed Rudd at a distance as a grandiose narcissist, which helped them craft their strategy against him.

        1. I’m pretty sure that just about every politician is a grandiose narcissist.

      2. When the opposition wins its suppose to compromise for the good of the country, when you party wins its suppose to take its mandate and shove it down the throats of the opposition.

    4. Shooters Party?

      1. Yes.

        The Shooters and Fishers Party, formerly the Shooters Party or the Australian Shooters Party,[3] is an Australian political party.

        It’s relatively easy to register political parties in Australia (it’s actually harder to get votes, of course).

        This party is a reaction to Australia’s gun control laws as well as the hostility of the predominantly urban population to hunting. I’m not sure that fishing needs such a vigorous defense though.

    5. The comments on this article are hilarious! Here’s my favorite one so far:

      earlygrayce 2:16 PM on 09/09/2013

      It is easy to say “small government” but the believers in “small government” seem to forget that means less representation.
      We actually need more representation and therefore more politicians in Canberra.
      We are at a point like no other in our time where we have fewer people representing more of the public and therefore have a much smaller say in our government. There was a time when each politician was able to listen to the voices of all of their constituents as they only looked after a few thousand people but now they can not as they have hundreds of thousands of people to represent and still the same amount of hours in each day.

      1. Actually, this is not a bad idea.

        The size of a legislative body correlates inversely with how oppressive the laws are.

        Of course I doubt that earlygrace would like the outcome of a huge legislature: more gridlock and fewer busy-body laws making it into enforcement.

        1. I say increase the US Congress from 535 members to 75,000,000, with anyone who is a net tax payer getting a seat. Then require all new laws to be unanimous to pass, and all existing laws to sunset in 10 years unless renewed by a 90 percent plus vote.

    6. Who says it was by mistake? Maybe Australians are getting tired of socialism and artificial equality and gun bans and the general lack of freedom.

      1. Sorry, but it is important to remember that it was the Liberal/National* coalition than won. The Liberals are pushing a Parental Leave Law that is pretty much to the left of anything the Democrats are proposing here and at the behest of the Nats have acceded to builing a National high speed internet network at public expense.

        Truth be told, Australians generally accept a significantly higher level of government involvement in the economy than even liberals in American do.

        That said, as I have noted elsewhere, Australia suffers from a serious urban/rural split. However urban dwellers significantly outnumber rural ones and the politics show.

        *FKA the Country Party. The Country Party represented the farming/grazier interests and as such have always been at odds with the Liberals who represented the urban and small town business interests.

    1. This unfairly affects female teachers attempting to have sex on school grounds!

      1. They can put the panties on their heads.

      2. Nah, they make crotchless panties for a reason

    2. Underwear will need to be worn on the outside, so we can check.
      /Bananas, Woody Allen

    3. Was there an epidemic of teachers going commando?

      1. Probably only takes one incident of poorly planned leg uncrossing in a knee length skirt to get some attention.

        1. I’d argue that a high school teacher who goes commando with a knee length skirt was looking for that attention. It wasn’t poorly planned. It was planned.

    4. Little Rock School District’s new superintendent Dr Dexter Suggs refers to underwear as ‘foundation garments’ in the document.

      I have a popular foundation garment fashion blog if those Arkansas teachers need any tips.

  3. Dennis Rodman said that he has a big announcement

    he’s coming back as Kim Jong Un’s wife Denise?

    1. I hope it doesn’t involve unzipping his pants

    2. I thought we already knew the big announcement is that Jong-Un has a kid.

    3. She is?

      /AP Style Manual

  4. Unsuprisingly, it was also revealed that the NSA is collecting data from smart phones.

    Have you ever spied on rotary phone data? It’s boring.

    1. “Operator! I’ve been cut off!”

      1. “Sorry, the spies needed to change the tape on the reel to reel.”

        1. The scribe’s got a hand cramp

          1. We are sending someone out to fetch fresh clay and a new stylus.

    1. *insert obligatory pallbearer statement here*

      1. Football season has started. We have fresh Cleveland Browns material thru December.

        1. When they let us down, one more time?

        2. That 49ers fan certainly got let down… a long way.

          1. Whereas the Bucs fans got kicked in the fucking nuts.

            1. What’s funniest about that game is that the national media and their “what’s good for NY s good for the league” crusade is trying to convince me that this win was the REAL DEAL; that it means they were wrong all offseason when proclaiming the Jets dead.

              The Jets didn’t win that game; the Bucs lost it. And with a stupid penalty of all things. But that makes the Jets a REAL CONTENDER?.

              1. I think Geno Smith did really well at getting back up and doing his job after taking some good licks all day. He’s going to be a fine pro QB. But I think his talents will be wasted by Rex Ryan and the Jets.

              2. The Jets are not a real contender; they’re just not the worst team in the league like everybody said. Football Outsiders has them pegged as the 21st best team in the league with the 5th best D and 28th ranked O. Those numbers all seem accurate.

                Jets fans have a right to be optimistic about the long term future following the win. Smith’s got great tools, is comfortable despite a porous offensive line, and makes smart decisions in a real NFL offense instead of the training wheels version Sanchez got to run. You don’t need a superstar QB to win the Super Bowl, but you do need one in the top 10 and Smith has the goods to get there, which is something you could never say about his predecessor.

                Somehow the Jets will fuck it up, though. They are, after all, the Jets.

  5. Superman addict spends ?4,400 on surgeries to make him look like comic book superhero

    35-year-old Herbert Chavez has had nose jobs, skin whitening, lip liposuction, jaw realignment, pec implants and even bum implants to become real-life Clarke Kent

    1. I thought Chavez passed away recently.

    2. Did he get a job a reporter at a failing newspaper?

    3. Not as deformed and weird as I thought he would be. Still unsettling though.

    4. He aims to teach kids good morals while also brightening their days.

      Wait, are we still talking the Syrian attack?

  6. Kevin Swanson, Right-Wing Pastor: Gay Couples Should Be Told To Die On Their Wedding Day
    Pastor and right-wing radio host Kevin Swanson has some choice words surrounding the closing of an Oregon bakery that rejected a lesbian couple’s wedding cake job, and is offering advice for all Christians considering attending same-sex nuptials: hold up a sign informing the happy couple that they are an abomination and “should be put to death.”

    1. Kevin’s obviously living by the OT and all of its rules. Methinks he would not be able to withstand the scrutiny by those terms.

      1. I say we accuse him of witchcraft and he must therefore be stoned.

        1. Who has a regulation weight duck that we can use to find out?

      2. Rules are for Leaders to keep the cattle in line, which is why butt sex is bad but shrimp and bacon are acceptable.

      3. Don’t all of us at H&R live by the off-topic? 😉

        1. OT = Old Testament, not Off Topic.

          You let me down.

    2. Well, obviously that couple should be put to death. Also, anyone else who wears a suit made from a mix of wool and linen should also be put to death (Deuteronomy 22:11).

    3. Well Jesus did kill a ton of fags, whores and he liked to suffer the children. Clearly pastor Swanson is following his example.

    4. That’s funny, I remember a very frequent poster here telling everyone that Fred Phelps was a complete outlier and had no support whatsoever in the greater christian community. None whatsoever.

  7. The Chinense government is threatening three years in jail for anyone who spreads rumors online.

    There goes http://www.tmz.cn.

    1. I’ve seen worse redirects in my days.

      1. Yeah, I’m fine with it.

    2. And then there are those who wanted to people who started rumors.

    3. Are you sure that’s true?

  8. Sony spurned Japan and announced that it will delay releasing the PS4 for three months in order to fulfill holiday demands in America. USA! USA! USA!

    Gotta defeat the host country in Grant Theft Auto XVI in 2020!

  9. Enraged mom beats the crap out of kindergarten teacher
    The mother of a kindergarten boy in Kansas City received a citation for criminal assault because, police say, she inflicted a vicious beatdown on the boy’s teacher.

    The pummeling occurred on Thursday night at Truman Elementary School. Simone A. Baker, 24, allegedly entered the school and proceeded directly to the unidentified teacher’s classroom at about 6 p.m., reports The Kansas City Star.

    She said, “You better not touch my kid again.” She punched the teacher, 49, upside the head five to 10 times. Next, narrates a police report, Baker jerked the teacher out of her chair by the hair. Then, for good measure, Baker smashed the teacher’s head against a filing cabinet?twice….

    …Baker had a motive. Earlier in the day, her six-year-old son had come home with a scratch on his neck. He apparently told his mother that the teacher caused it when she had punished him for something during the school day….

    1. In every single one of these stories, they never say what the kid did.

      1. Yeah. I am left wondering if the kid, the mom and the teacher all three deserved a beatdown.

        1. There is rarely, if ever, a call to go vigilante here. I am second to none in my disdain for teachers, but I think what we have here is a bad case of WhiteTrashitis.

          1. Yeah, problem is, even if it is in some sense justified, it is really only going to make things worse for you and your kid.

            Always gets me when some tough guy parent says that if someone did [fill in the blank] to their kid they would kill someone. Great, you are a big tough guy and you love your kid. But having dad go to prison is probably not going to fuck up your kid’s life even more. Even when violence is justified, it is often not a good idea.

          2. I think so. I seriously doubt the teacher did enough to justify that. If the teacher did, the school would have been calling CPS. I am sure things are going to turn out real well for this kid after his mother told him he can do anything he wants to anyone in position of authority at any time. That is teaching some real life lessons there.

            1. If the teacher did, the school would have been calling CPS.

              In my experience that is *NOT* the case.

              1. I have to agree with Tarran. When I was a kid there were multiple teachers and a Principal that abused kids physically and one teacher who was sexually abusing a kid. The school did nothing until the parents went to law enforcement in each case.

                These weren’t mild abuse cases either like spanking. These teachers were sadists that enjoyed picking on little kids that didn’t respect there authority.

            2. If the teacher did, the school would have been calling CPS.

              LOL LAUSD protected pedophiles for decades – probably still is.

            3. ” I am sure things are going to turn out real well for this kid after his mother told him he can do anything he wants to anyone in position of authority at any time.”

              Meh. Don’t push the authority position of teachers like the tired tradition it is. Teachers are guides and educators and should be respected accordingly but elevating the position of authority in all its socially predictable stages ultimately makes for fucking sniveling citizens who are largely responsible for the decades of trash running this country into the ground.

            4. More kids should be taught to have disdain for authority figures.

            5. John, what’s wrong with teaching the kid that most people in authority aren’t worth obeying unless they’re your employer or they’re forcing you to at gunpoint?

              But maybe I’m misunderstanding what you mean.

          3. What a great example she set for her little brat. A spanking at home might help her little shit behave.

            1. You can probably draw a straight line from mom’s behavior to what the kid was doing to get punished.

              1. I’ve been living in a white trash neighborhood for the past eight years, and one of the saddest things is seeing delightful children slowly turn into their parents.

          4. Any time someone touches your kid it’s a good time to go vigilante.

            1. From the sounds of it she flew right into berserker mode as soon as the kid told her the teacher had done it. Using that as a pretext to “go vigilante” only makes sense if you assume that a kindergartener would never lie about where they got a scratch or bruise.

              Why the hell are people in this thread supporting the teacher for flying off the handle and assaulting someone based solely on the unsubstantiated word of a five-year-old?

              1. Sorry, that should be supporting the *parent*, not the teacher.

              2. Here let me re-phrase this for you–

                Why the hell are people in this thread supporting the parent for flying off the handle and assaulting an agent of the state into whose hands you are forced to place your children unless you can afford to homeschool or privately educate when her child told her that said agent hurt them?


    2. Maybe this is part of why they call the cops rather than deal with some of the bratty snowflakes themselves.

      1. According to the news report I heard the kid recanted sometime after the incident…
        Next up, a beatdown for the kid or the reporters.

        1. No the kid said the teacher “didn’t hurt him”. That doesn’t mean she didn’t assault him.

          1. Yes actually, it does.

            1. No, assault and battery are separate charges.

      2. If you have to call a cop on a kid I doubt your maturity.

    3. Eh. Its close enough to a violation of the NAP for me. Good on her.

      1. Where’s the evidence the scratch was given with intent? What if the scratch occurred while the kid was acting like a lunatic and a bully to other kids and had to be restrained?

        With a mom like his, I have little doubt he has behavioral problems.

      2. And you’re still a fucking imbecile.

    4. They should suspend the teacher too. That’s assuming they want to be consistent with the “no fault” crap they enforce on bullying victims within the school.

      1. You mean the “zero tolerance” policies that government schools employ?

        ‘Cause, yeah, the teacher should be suspended as well under those guidelines. So should any other school employee who intervened to break up the fight.

        1. *snaps fingers* Zero tolerance, that’s it!

          I couldn’t remember what they called it. No fault was the best I could come up with.

  10. Dennis Rodman said that he has a big announcement when he returns from North Korea, where he was visiting authoritarian ruler and “friend for life” Kim Jong Un.

    Rodman’s ex-girlfriend will be executed for dancing in a sex tape?

    Finally, the scourge of Madonna will end.

    1. Bros before hos. Or prisonos.

  11. NBC’s Chuck Todd: Half of GOP Opposing Syria Because of Politics, but 75 Percent of Dem Opposition ‘Rational and Principled’

    “I think about half of the Republican opposition here is a political opposition, but I think a good 50 percent is not,” Todd said on Meet the Press the morning. “I think about 75 percent of the opposition in the Democratic party is rational and principled, and about 25 percent of it is politics.”

    1. I don’t particularly care why it is they’re opposed at the moment. Just stay that way.

      1. Yeah, this is the crux of many libertarian pleas for gridlock.

        1. It’s even more fundamental than that. Opposing intervention is politically popular because the public opposes it.

          As Freidman once said – “The solutions is not electing the right sort of people, it’s getting pols to support liberty because it’s popular to do so.”

    2. Which three of the four Dem opposition pols is he talking about?

    3. So? What about the supporters, why not go into the break down of those congress critters as well, Todd?

      Oh that’s right. The story can never be about Obama’s position, it can only be about his opposition because as long as you can tear down the opposing views, then you don’t have to promote Obama’s views. Just make sure his view is that one left standing. Job well done, Todd.

    4. On the flip side 100% of Republican support for invading Syria is principled while 100% of Democratic Support for it is political

  12. Alimony for Your Eggs
    … This kind of scenario is playing out at fertility clinics across the country: a couple might have always planned to have kids but then the marriage unraveled; or they might have tried but failed to get pregnant; or they might have one child already, but the woman really wanted another. Now she’s 35. Or 38. Or 41. Could egg freezing help her save the last of her fertility?

    That’s the hope of a 38-year-old woman who is a client of Ronald G. Lieberman, a family law attorney in Haddonfield, N.J. Mr. Lieberman is asking his client’s soon-to-be-former husband of eight years to pay $20,000 to cover her egg-freezing procedure, medication costs and several years of egg storage. “When they got married, the expectation was they would start a family,” he told me. “Now she might not have the chance much longer.” …

    …And it helps rectify one of life’s greatest biological injustices: that men but not women can typically start a family well into middle age and beyond. …

    1. One of the blue porno shows, Law & Order, addressed this issue in an episode 5 or 6 years ago.

      1. The one where Paula Deen shot Trevon Martin?

        1. There was no racial angle in the plot, IIRC.

    2. I can see this if the parties’ entered into the marriage with an explicit understanding they would be having children within a reasonable timeframe.

      1. Watch men be on the child support hook for:

        1. Fertilized eggs implanted after the divorce.

        2. Eggs fertilized w/ another man’s sperm being considered part of the ‘understanding’ they’d have children.

        1. I have already actually seen the county go after the sperm donor. Because the mom went on assistance, so even though they had a signed release from the donor, the county tried to go after them. the county lost, though.

        2. No, that could never happen. I mean, they have long assured us that

          a) women are independent, tough, fully capable of doing anything a man can do.

          b) entitled for decades of alimony after a divorce.

          These facts are simultaneously true.

        3. Well, yeah, because the main principle of family law in America is “fuck men”.

          1. A twisted case for marriage
            …How long can it be before men are assigned marriages to women or face a no-marriage tax? If you have no right to freely associate, or not associate, with whomever you choose, then clearly you cannot have a right to freely marry, or not marry, whomever you choose either.

            So, if you are so fortunate as to find a reasonable marital candidate, you may wish to consider putting a ring on her before the federal government decides to put a ring on some random Jezebel war-pig on your behalf.

            1. The Roman Empire implemented a tax like that in the reign of Augustus. So there’s precedence for us.

            2. And they’ll call it…The Unobligated Male Protection Act. It will also include a penal-mandated home purchase.

            3. “some random Jezebel war-pig”

              The horror. The horror.

            4. Well, my plans for establishing a RL version of the Dark Brotherhood will finally get some traction if that happens.

    3. And it helps rectify one of life’s greatest biological injustices: that men but not women can typically start a family well into middle age and beyond. …

      Harrison Bergeron was not a fucking how-to manual!

  13. IRS Gave Black Nonprofits Preferential Treatment
    At the same time the IRS harassed Republican nonprofit groups during the 2012 political campaign, it selectively advised black churches and other Democrat nonprofits on how far they can go in campaigning for President Obama and other Democrats.

    This raw exercise in political favoritism has not been reported in the context of the still-smoldering IRS scandal, in which the agency in 2012 audited big GOP donors and blocked Tea Party groups trying to obtain tax-exempt status as part of what House investigators suspect was an effort to re-elect the president….

    1. RAY CIST.

      If you are Afro-American, why would you have voted for Obama, other than for reasons of racial pride, racial solidarity or delusions of racial hegemony / superiority?

  14. Texan who killed man raping his daughter will not face murder charge
    A Texas father will not face murder charges for killing a man with his own bare hands after he discovered the suspect raping his 5-year-old daughter in a remote barn.

    A Lavaca County grand jury decided not to charge the 23-year-old father, whose name was withheld, in the June 9 death of Jesus Mora Flores, 47, citing Texas state law where deadly force is authorized and justified in order to stop an aggravated sexual assault, the Daily Mail reported….

    1. Stories like these leave me hope.

    2. Why did the DA even seek an an indictment?

      1. Why did the DA even seek an an indictment?

        Because it was a chance to put somebody in prison.

      2. Ehhh…it’s Texas law-if someone kills someone else, it has to go before the grand jury.

        Perfunctory shit.

        1. Yeah, I think even the most die-hard pacifists would give a father a pass on that one. Most would probably want to buy him lunch for the trouble of having to come down to the courthouse too.

    3. This was even in question?

  15. Watch a future senator fling kangaroo shit and dak a mate


    1. “dak a mate”

      Translation, please.

      1. I *think* it’s like “whack a mole”.

      2. pull his friend’s pants down.

        1. English is not Australia’s primary language, is it?

          1. Well, since they started as a penal colony, it probably derives from 17th century British prison lingo.

            1. I find it fascinating that Australian’s have a specific word for pulling someone else’s pants down. It must happen much more frequently there.

              1. Actually, “daks” is slang for trousers.

                According to TheFreeDictionary it comes from a brand name.

                Perhaps this one.

                The DAKS name has always been synonymous with British Heritage, style and elegance. Originally founded in 1894 by Simeon Simpson, who provided a bespoke tailoring service in Middlesex Street, in the City of London, soon earning a reputation as ‘Simpson’s Suits’.

                In 1934, Alexander Simpson, the second son of Simeon Simpson, invented a completely revolutionary garment, a milestone in fashion, introducing a style of trouser that featured an adjustable waistband that eliminated the need for belts and braces that were restrictive yet necessary for British Gentleman up until this point.

        2. I want to hear a recording of your voice so bad. I can’t properly read your comments without that understanding.

  16. Global warming? No, actually we’re cooling, claim scientists
    There has been a 60 per cent increase in the amount of ocean covered with ice compared to this time last year, they equivalent of almost a million square miles.

    In a rebound from 2012’s record low an unbroken ice sheet more than half the size of Europe already stretches from the Canadian islands to Russia’s northern shores, days before the annual re-freeze is even set to begin.

    The Northwest Passage from the Atlantic to the Pacific has remained blocked by pack-ice all year, forcing some ships to change their routes.

    A leaked report to the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) seen by the Mail on Sunday, has led some scientists to claim that the world is heading for a period of cooling that will not end until the middle of this century.

    If correct, it would contradict computer forecasts of imminent catastrophic warming. The news comes several years after the BBC predicted that the arctic would be ice-free by 2013.

    1. It’s now climate change.

      And no matter what it’s doing, it’s man’s fault. CARBON CREDITS!!!

      1. Geet with the times Matrix, it’s now Climate Kaos!!!!

        I still think the sky is falling crowd will be saying we’re going to fry by 2100 because the heat is just going to roar back after this little pause. Of course by then we’ll have flying cars and backyard nukes, so no more carbon pollution.

      2. “And no matter what it’s doing, it’s man’s fault.”

        You forgot: “…and it is a catastrophe!”

    2. Remember, ten years ago they told us the Arctic would be ice free by the summer of 2013. Santa Claus was going to drown!!

      1. Remember

        Yes, John, I remember it from the last sentence of the post you replied to. My short term memory isnt that bad.

        1. I had already read the article so thus did not read t he entire quote. But it bears repeating!! 😉

          1. Yeah, you can’t throw their idiot predictions in their faces enough, as far as I’m concerned.

      2. And you still hear mentions on the news of how 2012 was a record low for sea ice coverage, with no mention of what is happening this year.

      3. Just look back at every prediction the IPCC has ever made. Even the most reasonable predictions greatly overestimated the warming. But none of that matters because consensus.

    3. I’m not an AGW true believer but that article is mostly BS. See the, (yeah I know) Guardian response.

      1. Less ice this year = DOOM!!!! (and give us money and power)

        More ice this year = no big deal.

        I’ll give a shit what the Guardian says when the warmists stop predicting doom that only govt can stop at every individual piece of news about climate being different this year from last year.

        1. Being a partisan hack on warming is just another TEAM false dichotomy. The warmists say enough stupid shit that it is not necessary to resort to huge exaggerations. Yes, they’ve made this into a Kulture War issue, but that doesn’t mean you have to play along.

          1. Word. The politicization of this issue on both sides really annoys me. I actually want to know, but there are very few sources for information that are not fully committed to one side or the other.

          2. Huh? This is a huge issue that goes far beyond the ephemeral “culture war.” It affects the energy and transportation sectors, and therefore almost everything else. It’s caused the EPA to declare CO2 is a pollutant! Billions are being spent on ineffective regulatory nonsense and subsidized boondoggles.

            1. Yeah for me anyway the Culture War is about fundamentally trivial things like which school dress codes and warning labels on CDs….or digital downloads now I guess.

              AGW is being used to assert control over huge segments of the economy. It is not at all a trivial issue. It’s the latest pseudo scientific attempt at a modern bogeyman to bring about a Total State.

              1. You are right that it is a much bigger thing than most culture war type issues. But, like most things, particular positions attach to one side or other in the culture war. Most people don’t think what they do about global warming because of careful study of the scientific literature. They do so they can smugly tell themselves how stupid their political opponents are.

                1. No Zeb, it isn’t a culture war issue. You’re simply wrong.

      2. Watt: Tough Times For Sea Ice Melt Enthusiasts?
        …So what has these Sea Ice Melt Enthusiasts sober and downbeat? Well certainly the stubbornly average Global Sea Ice Area graph at the head of this article can’t help, but let’s take a closer look…

      3. “Around 80% of the ~100 scientists at the Bjerknes [Arctic climate science] conference thought that there would be MORE Arctic sea-ice in 2013, compared to 2012.”

        Wait, where’s the refutation of the 2003 prediction by the IPCC? This is why I hate the AGW people. Stop trying to wipe away the parts where you’re wrong, and I might believe you.

        1. Yeah, they suck of course. But this criticism seems valid:

          Both articles also claimed that “some scientists” are predicting that we’re headed into a period of global cooling. Both named just one scientist making this claim ? Professor Tsonis of the University of Wisconsin, whose research shows that slowed global surface warming is only temporary.

          Along with the chart showing that overall volume has still shrunk quite a bit, at least according to data from NSIDC.

          1. Agreed. I think there’s no way for a numerate outsider to know what the truth is, which means that this can’t be counted as science.

        2. It is the only way they can push their crisis angle. They must disregard any evidence to the contrary. They then translate this to their mental gymnastic session required to believe that wind and solar will save us. Any test case that shows massive failure (Germany is a great showcase for this) they somehow turn into a success. A great German example is the 4 hour window from a single day in May that solar output 22 GW. Never mind that on average solar is producing about 10% of what the install capacity is in Germany. Or that almost all of the lost nuke capacity has been made up for with lignite coal, the dirtiest form of coal there is, and their carbon emissions have increased since their Green Energy Revolution?.

        3. Around 80% of the ~100 scientists…

          The “Science says so” crowd seems to think that science is a democracy, with the position held by the larger percentage of scientists being “settled science”.

          In fact, science historically has worked the opposite way. The majority of scientists holds on to a theory that ultimately proves to be flawed, with at first a few eccentric types doubting it, then someone finding compelling evidence, then everyone jumping on board.

          Rinse and repeat.

    4. It really was the moment the waters began to recede and the earth began to cool?

    5. I am not sure where I stand on man made climate change. Believers tout such doom and gloom stories it pushes me away from buying into it. One thing I know is getting the government involved in this whole thing via carbon “taxes” or other regulation will not help reduce carbon emissions and will most definitely increase energy prices (renewable first-to-market contracts and kWh subsidization for example).

      I am an obvious proponent of nuclear power, which, if you are a true believer in climate change, should be your number 1 choice for electricity. It continues to amaze me the incredible fantasies proponents of wind and solar will draw up in their head to lie to themselves about the potential of these electricity sources. I don’t think anybody will see an industrialized nations grid anywhere in the world that is power by any more than 20% solar/wind. Cost and the difficulty of dealing with erratic electricity supply would make any more than that a nightmare.

      1. Here is where I stand, I don’t believe in any scientific theory until it makes predictions that are borne out and fully explained by it in the real world. And AGW seems pretty lacking in that regard.

        1. I reject any ‘scientific theory’ that includes massive government takeover of the economy. That’s politics, not science. If the guy in the white lab coat wants to talk politics, he’ll be considered as dishonest as a politician.

          1. Exactly. Even if I did believe in man made climate change, I will never advocate government force to mitigate it. Government is not the only solution, nor is it the best solution 99.9% of the time. As soon as the conversation turns to “how can the government save us?” is where I will put up serious dispute.

            AGW believers need to understand that if they want true change, you must change the minds of individuals enough that they will, by their own free will, decide to make individual choices that reduce their carbon intensive activities. If you can’t do that, than you don’t have strong enough evidence that AGW is real and have no business forcing me to live a life of rationed energy.

          2. I’m pretty open to the possibility that humans are having some non-trivial effect on climate. But I utterly reject the notion that some massive government intervention in the economy is necessary to do something about it. For one thing, as John notes, there are no good predictions for what the effects will be and how much they will harm people. And second, any grand scheme for reducing CO2 emissions will definitely not work. Even if all teh rich countries cut emissions significantly, the rest of the world (particularly India and China) will be ready to pick up the slack.

        2. I agree with you.

          There are a lot of smart people who I respect in the nuclear industry who are pushing the climate change meme, which I think they are just using as a way to push nuclear power. However, they cross the line that I will not cross no matter how much I want nuclear power to proliferate, which is to push for government intervention to give nuclear power an advantage.

          I understand where they are coming from, we have entered Atlas Shrugged territory where the merits of the technology do not matter, only who has the best lobby matters. I realize that many in the nuclear industry see the governments regulatory ratcheting destroying the industry and feel they can only fight back by gaining advantages through subsidy or other regulations.

          1. AGW is such a cash cow for so many people. Even the ones who are not outright liars are susceptible to huge confirmation bias. Can you really trust someone’s judgement when their entire career and livelihood depend on the theory being true?

            1. Cleverly-managed belief systems are powerful enough to invoke the magic power of faith and its subsequent hold on subservient crowds. The cash side seems to stem from smarter folks within the belief system being outright capitalists.

      2. Nuclear power is a proven failure though, with the low risk of disaster outweighed by the severity of the accidents, not to mention toxic waste hanging around for tens of thousands of years.

  17. The Obama Administration won permission for the National Security Agency to search deliberately through Americans’ communications in a 2011 court ruling that overturned a Bush-era ban.

    And the nation’s rubber stamp manufacturing industry makes a rebound.

    1. Rubber stamps are so 1980s. Today’s administrative judges just have an app to auto-sign and return any PDF that shows up in their inbox with the word “NSA Warrant” in the subject line.

    2. But how can Obama blame Bush here? Something must be wrong with these facts.

  18. Haven’t seen this noted, so let me pass along the sad news that Frederick Pohl passed away one week ago today.

    His collaborations with Cyril Kornbluth (Gladiator at Law and The Space Merchants) are amongst his many outstanding works.

    1. Will the Cleveland Browns be his pall bearers?

    2. Yep, R.I.P.

      If you’ve never read his story “Day Million”, check it out — short and sweet.

  19. Immigration Reform Falls to the Back of the Line

    In the House, where many Republicans view an overhaul bill passed by the Senate as a federal juggernaut that is too kind to immigrant lawbreakers, the legislative summer recess has done little to stoke enthusiasm for immediate action. Senior Republican aides in the House say immigration is at the back of the line, and unlikely to come up for months.

    The prospect of a delay is generating frustration among supporters of the legislation, who felt emboldened by a summer in which conservative opposition in House districts largely fizzled and immigrant groups seized the chance to lobby lawmakers on their home turf.

    1. Unless they figure out a way to bring up a vote on a Saturday night when no one is looking and do it with a voice vote where no one can be blamed.

  20. IFH laughs at stupid Kiwis

    Idiot photographer stand on train tracks to get better picture of steam train, and unsurprisingly got hit by said locomotive.

    1. I’m laughing at stupid Kiwi journalists too:

      He was Gregory John Duncraft, aged 50, of Greymouth.

      It is understood he was a middle-aged resident of the small West Coast town Kaiata.

    2. Unfortunately, the choo-choo enthusiast was not Jerry Brown.

    3. But how did the pictures turn out?

        1. The All Blacks – they wouldn’t let him down!

    4. Some dickhead here in Long Beach fell out of a fifth story window while trying to take a photo of the Hollywood sign. Exploded his skull on the sidewalk. Ruined my wife’s lunch. What a loser.

  21. John, how about Peyton Manning the other night?

    Manning has now tied Brett Favre with 23 games in which he has hurled 4 TDs.

    Manning has now tied Drew Brees with 7 games of 5 TD passes.

    Manning has now become the only QB with 3 games of 6 or more TD passes.

    Did anybody catch Manning humbly declare that he does not belong in the same company as Joe Kapp?

    1. Greatest regular season quarterback ever. I have never denied Manning’s ability to win games in the regular season. He will just lose in the playoffs.

      And Baltimore’s defense was horrible. Those TD passes were to guys running wide open thanks to the Raven’s secondary apparently not understanding the defense that was called.

      1. He will just lose in the playoffs.

        He’ll let you down?

        1. Yes. I think Manning has a good career ahead of him after retirement doing funerals in Denver.

      2. Its mostly the timing, John.

        Do you remember the thread on Thursday, early evening, on Brady / Manning? I go home and then see him throw 7 TDs.

        1. It wasn’t mostly timing. To the extent it was it was because the Baltimore DBs did nothing to disrupt that timing. You can bump a receiver in the first five yards. That is kind of your job as a DB so that the offensive timing is disrupted. Those guys were open mostly thought because the Baltimore defense made one mental mistake after another. They replaced their entire secondary in the off season and lost Ray Lewis who made all of the calls upfront. It definitely showed in that game. That was not the Baltimore team that won in Denver last January.

          1. You misunderstand.

            The timing to which I refer is the thread on Thursday evening when we debated Manning and then that night he throws the 7 TDs.

            Yes, I agree that the Ravens had several breakdowns / miscommunications which Manning took advantage of during the game.

            1. Yeah. You knew Manning was going to destroy them after I spent all day Thursday trashing him. I should have gone to Vegas and laid money on some teasers like Broncos to cover and Manning go over 300 yrds or something.

              1. How about the fact that Manning threw for 302 yards and 5 TDs in the second half and that Messrs. Bradshaw, Elway, Griese, Tarkenton, Starr, Staubach, Young and Unitas never once had those stats in a single game?

                1. Although to be fair, teams were allowed to play aggressive pass defense in those days.

                2. I bet you could have got some great odds on “Broncos cover and Manning goes over 300 yards in the first half”.

          2. re: your last line – it is more accurate to say Denver lost than Baltimore won. No defense should ever give up a bomb in the last minute.

      3. Drew Brees has three 5000 yard seasons – Peyton Manning none.

        At that top tier there is plenty of competition.

        I think Peyton is not even in the top five QBs since 1980.

        1. You sure? Have you checked with Obama on the subject?

        2. I think Peyton is not even in the top five QBs since 1980.

          So I guess this means I can disregard your football opinions too.

          1. I would say he is one of the most technically proficient QBs ever when he can control the game. But he either has the worst defenses of any great QB ever, or he is missing some ineffable quality that keeps him from winning. Maybe he just doesn’t get the defense up or something.

        3. Holy Christ this guy is unbelievable.

          Shrike is the best performance artists I think I have ever seen.

        4. Fuck off Weigel; nobody gives a shit about your football opinions any more than any of your other stupid opinions.

        5. Career passer ratings, all time Top 10:

          Aaron Rodgers, 104.9
          Steve Young, 96.8
          Tom Brady, 96.4
          Peyton Manning, 96.0
          Tony Romo, 95.6
          Philip Rivers, 94.5
          Drew Brees, 94.4
          Kurt Warner, 93.7
          Ben Roethlisberger, 92.5
          Joe Montana, 92.3

          Seems about right.

    2. I thought it’d be funny if he had said “Who’s Joe Kapp?”

  22. Ukraine: The vodka vending machine

    Authorities in the south-eastern Ukrainian city of Melitopol are investigating how a vodka vending machine was installed in the middle of the town centre.

    The device had been converted from a coffee machine and accepted banknotes and coins, according to state-owned Ukrainian TV channel UT1. One shot of vodka cost just 7.50 hryvnia ($1; ?0.59). The machine even dispensed a range of fruit juice mixers.

    Ukrainian tax inspectors are not amused, says UT1, and want to interview the owners of this “wonder machine” in connection with suspected illegal trade in alcohol.

    1. Groovus, you sly dog!

      1. Now I know why we haven’t heard from him…

  23. The White House also released graphic video of the gas attacks in Syria in a bid to drum up support for intervention in Washington and among the public.

    Hopefully they didn’t accidentally mix in some footage from Newtown to help make their case.

  24. Outrage as toy company creates ‘crystal meth lab’ for children with Breaking Bad play sets

    I want one!

    1. I’m wondering if I should order one to give to my son as a Christmas present and then “have” to keep it when it turns out he doesn’t watch the show.

      “I swear. I thought I was ordering another Star Wars kit”.

    2. Gotta love all the faux outrage. It’s $250 for just the lab, and clearly meant for sale to adult fans of the show.

    3. The shit people decide to get all worked up about. It’s not intended for children. It is for hipster adults who think it is edgy and ironic to have a Lego meth lab set.

      And has Lego’s patent expired or something? That looks a lot more like real Lego than earlier knock offs I’ve seen.

  25. How a 76-year-old man with dementia was kicked out of his home after forgetting to pay a $134 property tax bill
    Bennie Coleman, 76, lost his home two years ago after forgetting to pay a $134 property tax bill
    That debt grew to $4,999 when his debt was sold by the government to a private purchaser in Maryland
    Now he lives in a group home a mile from his home after losing his home an all his possessions
    Coleman’s home is just one of 200 homes foreclosed in recent years in Washington, DC because of tax lien debts
    This system of selling liens to private purchasers was profiled in a recent Washington Post report

    Shit like that just makes you proud to be an American, don’t it?

    1. I’m proooouuuuudddd to be an Ameriiiiican
      Where at least I know I’m freeeeeeeee….

    2. The problem is of course rooted in the idea that the State must always get the first cut.

      The other problem is that we discussed this in one of yesterday’s threads. 😉

      1. This reminds me of one of Rothbards better ideas. Privatizing public goods, if it can be done right, is almost always a worthy goal. Privatizing public “bads” is pretty much always a bad idea ….. they might accidentally figure out how to do it efficiently.

    3. I assume his house and possessions were worth a lot more than 5 grand. What happened to the rest of it? Stolen by the city or by the “private purchaser”?

  26. uh… how about neither?

    Bam’s policies leave longing for decisive W.

    My old boss George W. Bush will never say it for himself, so I’ll say it for him: With President Obama’s foreign policy in tatters across the Middle East, maybe we’ve finally arrived at a moment where we can look at what we threw out when we replaced the Bush Doctrine with the Obama Doctrine.

    Even calling the 44th president’s policy a doctrine is being generous. From the start, it had two chief components. One was the idea that you make your foreign-policy decisions based on domestic politics. The second was the new president’s apparent faith that the mere fact of his person would so dazzle the world that the lions would lie down with the lambs.

    1. Yes, the Iraq War disaster was based on sound foreign policy – got it.

      Bush apologists cannot spit shine a turd.

      1. BUSHPIGS!!11!!!CHRISTFAGS!!11!!!

    2. Say what you will about the tenets of the Bush foreign policy, at least it had an ethos.

      1. The Dude likes this….

    3. “when we replaced the Bush Doctrine with the Obama Doctrine.”

      Wait? There’s a difference?

  27. Would you trust the preppers next door? Survivalists win the right to build bunkers under their homes despite neighbors who say they could do ANYTHING down there
    Supporters of the ordinance feel bunkers act as ‘security blankets’
    Critics worry bunkers hide criminal activity, limit EMS response capability
    Doomsday bunkers for sale now booming industry

    That whole concept bugs me. Not the bunkers, but that it took legislation to allow people to build these things on their own property. Freedom shmeedom.

    1. I would not trust people so stupid that they don’t understand that the best defense for their bunkers is not to let others know they have a bunker.

      If you build it, don’t tell anyone.

      1. ding ding.

        I, personally, want to build a volcano lair. And I am hiring for mindless henchmen and hot slave girls. If you know anyone send along their resume.

      2. I live in Tornado Alley and want a bunker since it would double as a shelter. If you want a nice prefab everybody will know when they ship it and crane it in place. Stealth route is go out in my pjs at night and start digging under the foundation. No good options.

  28. Suspect wearing ‘nothing but socks’ hid in stranger’s home, deputies say

    Two women’s conversation abruptly ended when a man ? running around naked and trying to hide from authorities ? stormed into the North Lauderdale house and shushed them, officials say.

    Patrick James, 21, snuck in through the front door Tuesday, then hid in the kitchen, the Broward Sheriff’s Office said.

    “It was very, um, not comfortable seeing that,” said the resident, Anna Desius, who had company over at the time. “He walked directly in between us [buck] naked, coming through the front door.” The man had “nothing but socks” on, she said.

    at what point do you take off your socks?

    1. It was only Sock Man! Why were they suspicious or uncomfortable?

      1. Did they do the Risky Business dance?

    2. Our superhero lost his clothes. Tune in next week…

  29. Gov. Rick Snyder to Chinese journalists: Detroit’s bankruptcy is a positive

    Much like the rest of the world, Chinese people view Detroit’s bankruptcy filing as a bad thing, but Gov. Rick Snyder hopes to convince them it’s actually a positive move.

    Concerned that a negative perception could hurt the state’s chances of attracting Chinese investment, Snyder is pushing the message that Detroit’s comeback is already underway and that bankruptcy should alleviate one of the last obstacles to further improvement.

    1. Bankruptcy can be a positive. If it would allow Detroit to actually start over and get out from under its pension obligations and start providing decent government and taxes again, sure. But I somehow doubt that is what is going to happen.

    2. It’s only a positive if the judge/trustee eliminates their terrible city government from budget and spending decisions.

  30. Would you recognize an 18-year-old Megan Fox from these photos?

    I think that’s the translation of the headline; it’s not as if you read English-language articles instead of just looking at the photos anyway.

  31. Sex Ed Teacher giving private lessons
    Female teacher charged with having sex with 14 year old male student

    Okay, has this always been a thing that female teachers are sleeping with their male students, or is it just more in the news?

    I don’t remember this really being talked about much when I was a student. I know we always talked about wanting to with the hot teachers, but none of that ever happened that we heard.

    1. We were just more discreet back in the day.

      1. I suppose. And we didn’t have cell phones to text or sext with each other. No social media to blab on. And even if you told a friend, it probably did not get around much.

        1. My guess would pretty much be this.

          It’s probably not all that much more frequent just easier to catch them when they leave behind electronic evidence for the kids parents to find.

          The one think I think which may be new is for whatever reason women in general are starting to become more interested in younger men than they have ever been previously.

          Not necessarily underage, just that the ideal partner they seek is looking less like a 38 year old and more like a 21 year old

      2. Kids these days need to learn to shut the fuck up.

    2. When you make love to a teacher,
      You’re bound to have an amazing night.
      She’ll make you do it again and again,
      Until you get it right.

  32. I mentioned in on a thread last night, but it was mostly dead, but I now have .00701 bitcoins. Or about 85 cents.

  33. Biblical visions of doom in Syria trouble

    “We have looked at that prophecy, but one of the things I try not to do is make a big assumption. That can be dangerous.”

    But it can be *fun*!

    “We try to find balance by immersing ourselves in prophecy rather than being affected by it.”

    OK ….

  34. The Chinense government is threatening three years in jail for anyone who spreads rumors online.

    I’ll bet this program initially began as a “truth team” or some other variation of that phrase.

    1. Zombie Genghis Khan?

    2. That picture actually show what goes on in the Left’s head, just replace the Islamists with Tea Party and Patriots and it’s the exact same thing they believe.

    3. Hey, next year is the 200th anniversary. August 14th, I believe. Just sayin’.

    4. Robert Ross?

  35. The most action-packed Warty Hugeman ever! But it is long, so hit the link…

    Warty Hugeman and The Fecund Clown of Rome: A Warty Hugeman Time Travel Adventure

    Warty Hugeman crouched against the fetid wall of the Roman catacombs, resting a moment to let the lactic acid scavengers in his blood do their work. He could hear the assassin breathing as the splashes of its footsteps died down. Some quirk in assassin clown ethics made it stop chasing him when he stopped running. Warty knew he could sleep for days and the clown would hold to the temporary truce, but the second he moved it would be after him. It was all in the email, a slickly-designed e-brochure for the clown’s services in an obscure language. “The Fecund Clown” was the best the timesuit could manage for what it was. It certainly looked like a clown, if monstrously fat and sporting half-meter fangs. The text went on for pages; phrases like “statistically successful induction of atavistic fear response” and “durable construction based on endergonic protein reinforcement” flitted by. tl;dr. He was dragging it to the recycle bin when the clown attacked.


    1. Hold on, I have to hit Walgreens for more lube and tissues before reading the rest of it.

    2. He was dragging it to the recycle bin …

      Warty Hugeman recycles?

              1. A single leaf from the putrid swamp of his fevered imagination.

              2. He stuffs the recycled souls into underwear?

      1. condoms.

    3. I love it. My favorite part was the violet pus.

  36. Anyone remember the new Jacksonville GM last spring smugly dismissing any talk of signing Tebow? He was too professional for that. It doesn’t seem to be working out for me. Meanwhile, the Raiders took a shot on starting Tyrell Pryor, basically a black Tebow, and almost beat the Colts. The Raiders won’t do to much this year. But I bet they win 7 or 8 games with Pryor and are at least entertaining to watch.

    I understand why you wouldn’t want a running QB if you already have a good passing one. But why teams like Jacksonville and Minnesota continue to trot out complete losers at quarterback rather than take a shot at a running one like Tebow or Pat White is beyond me. A running QB at least brings something to the table.

    1. Tebow needs to play another position to get on the NFL field while he works on his mechanics. If he’s too stubborn and uncoachable to do so, fuck him.

      He could always play for Cleveland.

      1. You could say the same thing about Pryor. And hell, teams like the Jets and Bucs put out QBs who can’t run but are so untrustworthy they build the entire offense around making sure they don’t make a mistake. If you don’t trust your QB to throw the ball anyway, why not get one who can run?

        1. And hell, teams like the Jets and Bucs put out QBs who can’t run but are so untrustworthy they build the entire offense around making sure they don’t make a mistake

          I agree with the thrust of your argument, but that’s not the case with the Jets now that Sanchez is out. Mornhinweg is just as pass happy and aggressive as he was in Philly, they’re letting Smith make reads instead of quick drops and short passes, and Smith can run when he gets into trouble.

          I’m happy with the early returns, and not just because they won: he already looks more comfortable out there than Sanchez ever did despite the line being worse than its been in 5 years. If they can protect him (a big if; LG and RT are both terrible) and if he can handle the cold then he’s going to be a legit QB.

          1. They needed a late boneheaded personal foul to be what appears to be a really sorry Bucs team. I am still not optimistic about the Jets. But Smith is at least a rookie. He might get better as the season goes on.

            1. I’m looking past the result of a single game in a meaningless year. Smith was good in the second half and the offense is a lot more complex than what Sanchez was doing. There’s a high ceiling on Smith and he’s already better than Sanchez, I really hope the Jets don’t fuck this up like usual.

              The Jets are terribly underrated this year. It’s not a playoff team, but the people thinking they’ll be competing for the #1 pick are insane. Unless the wrong people get hurt they’re probably going to win 5 – 7 games.

              1. I think people way under estimate Rex Ryan. He went to two AFC title games with a defense that had two three stars and a bunch of no names and Mark Sanchez at QB. Rex Ryan beat the Patriots on the road in the playoffs with Mark Sanchez as his QB. Why the media portrays someone who was able to do that as some kind of clown who can’t coach is beyond me.

                1. He’s his father; his teams are undisciplined and he doesn’t care about offense. He needs a co-coach to be successful, and I think the current pairing with Mornhinweg is a smart one, but they don’t really have the players on offense to be successful this year.

        2. Pryor looked good for most of the game, and gives defenses trouble between the 20’s, but he turned it over twice in the end zone, both on bad plays. Maybe he can learn to manage a game, and then the Raiders will have something.

    2. I think it was that they didn’t want the Tebow circus, not that they didn’t want a running QB.

      Tebow couldn’t make it as a backup in NE, which says something about him, considering you’d think Belichick would know something about how to design an offense.

      1. But Belichick isnt going to redesign his offense for Tebow, not when he has Brady.

        Tebow could be a backup in Philly or SF or Washington or Seattle no problem.

        1. I don’t know why Philly won’t just make him a starter. We all know Vick is going to shit the bed again this year.

          1. Vick is going to get hurt. I would bet money on that. Vick is really a small guy. He doesn’t have the bulk to take the kind of hits that offense is going to subject him to.

        2. We already have three QBs and Rex Grossman on our roster. We don’t need Tebow.

          1. That was my point below. Grossman shouldn’t be on the roster. He is only on there because the coaches like him. Their claim that he “helps out RGIII, is such a load of crap. Help him how? Telling him not to throw the ball to the other colored jerseys? And don’t they have an OC and a QB coach who is supposed to do that whose salaries don’t count against the cap?

            1. I think it’s more then just the coaches liking him. They obviously see real value in keeping him. Shanny has gotten rid of pretty much every player who was there prior to his taking the job. He has a reason for keeping Grossman.

              1. He has a reason for keeping Grossman.

                Maybe Grossman has pictures of the Shanahans (Mike and Kyle) tag teaming a transvestite hooker in a gimp suit.

            2. Hey, David Carr has as many Superbowl rings as Peyton Manning. What’s wrong w/ being a backup nobody trusts?

        3. Speaking of Brady, who knew the Bills were such a strong defense?

          1. I mean, if a team is really bad on offense, they usually have a decent defense. The only team that’s really just abysmal in all phases of the game is Jacksonville.

      2. I don’t know that Belichick is that creative offensively. He has always had a stand in the pocket thrower at QB. I think his OC is pretty creative. The problem with Tebow as a backup to Brady is that you can’t run the same offense with Tebow. And you really can’t have a backup that requires you to totally change your offense. So, he never fit in New England. He would be better off as a backup in Washington.

        The NFL is so ripe with cronyism. Washington is currently carrying Rex Grossman at a much higher cap number than Tebow. And Grossman is horrible and can’t run anything approaching the offense RGII runs if he ever gets in the game. Washington could have singed Tebow as a third stringer or just kept Pat White for much less money. But they kept Grossman because the coaches like him even though he has no business on the roster at any price let alone what they are paying him.

        1. Rex Grossman will just let you down.

        2. Grossman knows the league, he’s been around a long time, which for a roster as young as the Skins are is important.

          Honestly, I think they’d rather him retire and do the same thing in street clothes, but I think he wants to keep his number for another year or so.

          1. which for a roster as young as the Skins are is important.

            That is such a load of shit. Here is the thing about a locker room of any kind. You only have juice if you can play. No one gives a shit what you have to say unless you are good. So these old guys they keep on the roster because they “mentors” is total lie told by coaches who just want to keep players they like on the roster in favor of more deserving ones. No one in that locker room gives a fuck what the third string QB has to say about anything, I don’t care how long he has been around. Maybe if he were a legitimate aging legend or something. You can carry a 40 year old Jerry Rice on a roster for that reason maybe. But not Rec Grossman.

            1. 40 year old Jerry Rice was catching TDs all day long.

              1. I miss the cornrows / receding hairline combo.

              2. And the other guys in the locker room grew up idolizing him. Rex, not so much.

    3. Peterson might run for 3,000 yards with a real running threat at QB.

      1. Minnesota couldn’t be any worse than they are with Ponder. Ponder brings nothing to the table. I get it, you don’t cut Aaron Rogers or even Alex Smith to bring in Tebow or Pat White. But when your options are Blame Gabbert and Christian Ponder? Why not?

        1. Or Vince Young, who is 31-19 as an NFL starter, and seems to be more focused and less crazy.

        2. I’m agreeing with you. Hell, Vince Young would be an upgrade from Ponder and he’d probably add a yard per carry or more to Peterson’s average.

        3. I thought when they signed Matt Cassel, they were signing a new starter. Cassel isn’t going to light up a scoreboard, but he’s better than a back-up to Christian Ponder.

          Boy do I feel bad for AP. He deserves a lot better.

          1. Did you see Cassel in Kansas City? He is horrible. He is the worst QB in NFL history. KC actually doesn’t have a bad roster but didn’t have a single lead in any game until like week 10 last year. It was a record in futility that dated back to like 1929 or something.

            1. Did you see Cassel in Kansas City? He is horrible. He is the worst QB in NFL history.

              Worst QB in NFL history? What about Ryan Leaf or Jamarcus Russel? Hell, the Bears alone have had half a dozen QBs in the last 15 years who were worse than Cassel.

              1. STOP REMINDING ME!

                Rick Mirer, Shane Matthews, Cade McNown, Craig Krenzel, Chad Hutchinson, Jonathan Quinn…

              2. Worst QB in NFL history?

                Two words: Babe Laufenberg.

          2. Peterson’s in the same hell Barry Sanders had to deal with in Detroit for most of his career–and All-World back on a team that doesn’t have anyone else of note.

        4. Minnesota couldn’t be any worse than they are with Ponder. Ponder brings nothing to the table.

          What? Ponder is unquestionably a better quarterback than Tim Tebow. Ponder really isn’t that bad. Here are his stats from last year:

          62.1% completion
          18 touchdowns, 12 interceptions
          2,935 yards
          81.2 Quarterback rating
          60 rush attempts for 253 yards, a 4.2 average

          His completion percentage is 10-15% higher than Tebow’s, his yards are 1200 more than Tebow had in 2011, albeit in two more games. Tebow did have 12 touchdowns to only 6 interceptions that year, but that’s mostly because you’re not going to get intercepted if you throw the ball into the ground.

          Ponder is far better than Tebow. He’s also far better than Pat White.

          1. Those are numbers with Adrian Peterson running behind him. Ponder had a QB rating of 20 yesterday. And that was the defense stacked on the line of scrimmage so much that even Peterson couldn’t get a hundred yards. Ponder is horrible.

          2. Like John said, he is a spectacularly uneventful QB who has to have an offense designed around him to mitigate his mistakes and hide the weakness of his throwing arm.

            Is he an effective game manager? Most of the time, sure. But game managing is what you do to protect a lead, not to gain separation on the scoreboard or make a come back.

            His ceiling has been reached, but the Vikings are acting like he’s their guy instead of simply a place holder, which is all he really is. He hasn’t progressed and I grew tired of defending him.

          3. How do their W/L numbers stack up?

            These conversations of who was the best at whatever position seem pretty futile. It seems to me that you can really only break them into tiers of players and any breakouts within those tiers depend on the rest of the team.

            You can be the best QB or RB ever (whatever that means) but you aren’t going to do much without a good line, or good receivers, or a credible run/pass game that takes some of the defensive pressure off of you.

            As a fan, I only care about one thing. Did my team win the Super Bowl? If I had to pick a single stat to judge players on it would be how many Lombardi Trophies they lifted. At the very least I’d ask about conference championships.

            1. But that’s crazy. That makes Charles Haley the best player of all time.

              1. I thought we were talking about fantasy-type offensive players, not defenders.

                At some point, though, results matter. The goal is to win the Super Bowl (if it’s not then your team isn’t worth talking about). Any metric of evaluating players has to account for their team’s performance with respect to achieving that goal.

            2. Andrew Luck is looking pretty good, stats or no stats. 8 game winning drives in 17 games so far, and it would have been 9 if not for a last second loss to Jacksonville last year.

        5. I think Tebow might be big enough to not get killed running an option/running offense in the NFL. But Tebow is not a fast runner – he’s more of a bruiser. Might just work with very good/speedy RB’s.

          1. Jacksonville should have signed Tebow and switched to the option. Why try to be the 25th best pro style offense, when you could be the best running team and at least give defenses something different to prepare for?

    4. Yeah, Blaine Gabbert has a starting job while Tim Tebow who is an objectively better professional QB AND big draw, is not drawing a paycheck.

      1. You would think Jacksonville would sign him if for no other reason than have some reason for people to actually come to their games. As it is, I see no reason if I live in Jacksonville to even bother giving half a shit about the Jags.

        1. The citizens of Jacksonville agree with you.

          1. You have to wonder how many professional sports franchises (not just football) would survive without all the revenue-sharing from TV and merchandise.

            1. Look at the 50s when the Giants, Dodgers and A’s all had to pick up from giant East Coast markets and move West.

      2. “Blaine Gabbert has a starting job while Tim Tebow who is an objectively better professional QB”

        Um, no, no he is not.

        One of the problems with Football is that so few games are played. This can make short term freak trends look like they are more important than they really are.

        In Baseball if a Rookie comes up mid season and bats .400 for 2 weeks it does not mean he is the second coming of Ted Williams, it means he had a string of luck to begin his career and he’s probably going to finish the year batting .250.

        In Football when Tim Tebow strings together 10 miraculous wins while putting up truly horrific stats all of a sudden people think he is a legitimate QB.

        Had they not signed Manning and kept Tebow there is no way those fluke wins kept up and his failings (like the inability to actually complete half his passes or read a defense) would have become apparent as he lead teams to a string of 4-12 seasons.

        Furthermore the one skill he actually did have, running, seems to have eroded rapidly, likely because he’s bulked up too much, but when he did play with the Pats this preseason he was SLOW, like very close to Tom Brady slow

    5. I think you’re vastly under-estimating how poor of a QB Tebow has been in the NFL. He cannot throw the ball well, and if a QB can’t throw the ball at a minimally-acceptable level then they have no chance of succeeding, running ability or no. The success of players like RG3 and Colin Kaepernick shows that a QB running an offense w/ a read-option can work, and work well. However Kaepernick and RG3 are also very good passers.

      Tebow’s problem isn’t that coaches are too stubborn, it is that he is simply not a good enough at passing to succeed at the sport’s highest level.

      1. Coaches overvalue passing ability and mechanics. Look at Vince Young’s winning percentage. He should still be starting somewhere.

  37. The US secretary of state has said that President Bashar al-Assad has one week to hand over his entire stock of chemical weapons to avoid a military attack. But John Kerry added that he had no expectation that the Syrian leader would comply.

    Administration utterances just get better and better!

    1. Administration utterances just get better and better!

      That was my first thought too. Another RED LINE!!!

    2. I imagine that Assad is keenly aware of what happened to Qadaffi after he turned over Libya’s WMD.

      The sorry fact is that US foreign policy only reinforces the impression that a nation must have WMD to deter US aggression.

    3. It will be hilariously sad when that week passes and then… nothing happens on either side.

      1. Actually, this may be Kerry’s way of saying that strikes will begin in a week no matter what action Congress takes.

  38. Another massage parlor busted in Brooklyn.


    There was no happy ending for a Brooklyn Heights massage parlor that allegedly dispensed sexual favors as stroller-pushing mommies passed by its windows.

    It gets worse, check out the quote: One neighborhood resident said in an online post that both her hubby and father-in-law had been propositioned there. Halfway through her husband’s rubdown, the masseuse yanked off his towel “and made the gesture of a handjob” ? which the wife said he politely declined.
    “I was horrified,” she wrote in an e-mail posted by curbed.com. “I know things like this happen in Chinatown, but this is Brooklyn Heights, this is MY neighborhood .”

    1. Sure, but they might have been also serving large sized sodas and letting patrons use e-cigs. It had to be shut down.

    2. Halfway through her husband’s rubdown, the masseuse yanked off his towel “and made the gesture of a handjob” ? which the wife said he politely declined.

      Uh-huh, suuure he did, lady. Just keep telling yourself that.

      “I was horrified,” she wrote in an e-mail posted by curbed.com. “I know things like this happen in Chinatown, but this is Brooklyn Heights, this is MY neighborhood .”

      Those pearls aren’t going to clutch themselves. And way to not be racist. I’m sure she doesn’t even realize what a racist condescending bitch she is. I mean, she probably voted Obama like a good little proglodyte, so she can’t possibly be racist.

      1. Heh, had the same thought.

        “Hey, didn’t you get a massage at that place?”

        “Uh, yeah… and the girl tried to proposition me, which I turned down of course! Will you believe that?” (Thinking to self: “Will she believe that?”)

  39. http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/5750/4l2a.jpg

    An actual Cobb County, Ga conservative I am thinking of turning into a comic book hero.

    Notice the sign – he covers it all.


    1. Speaking of religious comics, I saw this Kickstarter this morning: http://www.kickstarter.com/pro…..c-novel-pr

      CruZader (dumb name): Agent of the Vatican. He’s a trained assassin and protector of the pope with his weapon of choice being the spear that pierced Christ’s heart. Other than the stupid name, I thought it was kind of a fun idea.

    2. CHRISTFAGS!!1!!!BUSHPIGS!!11!!!

      1. Did you see the fucking picture?

    3. “and Mormons!”


      1. “Sports nuts” ??? WTF does God have against sports nuts?

        I’m pretty sure there’s no passage in the Bible about “thou shalt not view sporting events.”

  40. I didn’t watch any football yesterday – shocked to find out that the Lions beat the Vikings.

    1. Why? They have Matt Stafford and Mega-Tron and now Reggie Bush.

      1. it’s the Lions. They usually find a way to lose. If the Browns are pallbearers, the Lions are the boatmen for the river Styx.

        1. The Lions could be dangerous this year. The Vikings are not a terrible defensive team, and the Lions were moving the ball all day.

          If the Lions (read: Suh) would stop making bonehead penalties, they could be good this year.

          1. Suh is a borderline sociopath. He’ll stop making boneheaded penalties the day he retires.

            1. While it was obviously illegal, I dont think the Suh play was dirty, like many are claiming.

              1. You can understand why Suh doesn’t get the benefit of the doubt.

                1. You can understand why Suh doesn’t get the benefit of the doubt.

                  Yes, but that is bullshit. Its like Fellaini not being able to draw a call, despite being raped by defenders on a regular basis. Oh well, ManU’s problem now.

                  1. And even better Everton example was Duncan Ferguson. Just because you once went to jail for an assault you committed on the field doesnt mean every foul you commit is a red card offense.

                    But he got lots of bullshit reds.

              2. It was dirty as shit. The Vikings center was 15 yards behind the linebacker. There was no way he was going to catch up to him and save the touchdown.

                I actually have given Suh the benefit of the doubt. Shit happens in the heat of a line clash, and tempers flare. But that’s not what he did yesterday. That was an intentional attempt at injury IMO.

                1. It was dirty as shit. The Vikings center was 15 yards behind the linebacker. There was no way he was going to catch up to him and save the touchdown.

                  The guy was pursuing, that makes him fair game.

                  Give up if you want to not get blocked.

                  That was an intentional attempt at injury IMO.

                  Bullshit, it was an attempt to block. Yeah, you cant block below the waist on the return, but he didnt dive at the back of the guy, he made sure he got his head in front. He just hit thigh instead of chest.

                  1. Context matters. If Suh had blocked AP or a receiver on that, I’d be on his side. But the LB who made the pick was already pulling away rapidly from the center, and the block was made at the 25 yard line. There simply was no need for it to have been made at all.

                    1. The why was the lineman still pursuing?

                      Play until the whistle, keep your head on a swivel.

                    2. The why was the lineman still pursuing?

                      Not knowing when to quit? Delusional enough to think that maybe the much faster LB would suddenly pull up lame? Who the fuck knows.

                      I didn’t see the play you guys are talking about, but I’ve seen Suh play enough to know that he’s dirty, borderline sociopathic, and if he has an opportunity to hurt someone he will do it. In a just world he would be serving time in a prison or a mental institution.

                    3. Not knowing when to quit? Delusional enough to think that maybe the much faster LB would suddenly pull up lame?

                      And in case the delusion turns out to be true, you need to block the guy.

                      Suh had the opportunity to dive into the back of the guys knees. If he had wanted to be dirty, in this case, he could have been. Instead he ran the guy down and got his head in front for the block. Still an illegal low block and the flag bringing back the TD was legit. It was a stupid block on Suh’s part, but not dirty, IMO.

                    4. I find it unconvincing that his play wasn’t dirty because he turned down the opportunity to make a different and more blatantly dirty play. But I’d have to see it to judge.

                      His stomping episode a few years back sealed it for me. Fuck that guy.

              3. While it was obviously illegal, I dont think the Suh play was dirty, like many are claiming.

                10 yards behind the ball carrier? His block couldn’t help the play, and going low like that is just plain malicious.

                1. Nothing malicious about a cut block.

                  10 yards behind the ball carrier?

                  He was pursuing.

                  I also want my d-linemen to block any QB remotely pursuing after an INT too. 15-20 yards behind? Drill him into the ground, just do it legally.

                  1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-fKkFfXtus

                    Also a clean block.

                    Admittedly the holding him down part at the end maybe could have been penalized as holding, but clocking a QB who throws an INT is fine.

                  2. Wasn’t that Bear Bryant’s M.O.? After an interception, one man with the ball, ten men blocking the QB.

                    1. After an interception, one man with the ball, ten men blocking the QB.

                      Dont want to get blocked? Dont be on the defensive team.

                      If you throw an INT, guess what you are now.

                  3. Nothing malicious about a cut block.

                    While not illegal, it can be in certain situations, and I know a lot of linemen do regard it as a cheap shot, regardless of legality.

          2. The Lions are my pick for a surprise bye playoff seed (1 or 2).

            Improved plus they get to play the dregs of the NFC based on last years losing record.

          3. I will not drink this kool-aid. I have drank (drunk?) it before. The problem with the Lions, IMO, is that they never develop because their roster is always a revolving door.

            1. I’ll never understand the ongoing undisciplined play. Same as MSU – goes across coaches, players – Lions take stupid fucking penalties, make boneheaded plays.

              It’s like they’re cursed.

        2. Nice.

  41. It occurred to me over the weekend that the world would be a much safer place if Barry Obama had just gotten an MBA and married a white woman. He’d be running the diversity program at some Fortune 500, and he would not be poking a stick at the Russian bear.

  42. http://www.rollcall.com/news/c…..?pos=hatxt

    Congress may split on Syria. So Obama will just bomb anyway and his troll supporters will be able to claim he got authorization, because the House apparently doesn’t count. My feeling of impending doom over this whole thing gets stronger every day.

    1. Obama said he did not want to “jump the gun”

      *** facepalm ***

    2. Clinton got only Senate approval to bomb Kosovo.

      The House was busy with fake scandals – Vince Foster, Whitewater, Travelgate, etc.

      History just repeats itself.

      1. Yes, Clinton fought an illegal disastrous war in Kosovo based on a lie. That war was based on a lie about a genocide that wasn’t occurring, was fought in a totally illegal and immoral manner (they bombed civilian infrastructure so that the population would revolt), and was illegal under both domestic and international law. And as an added bonus, it squandered all of the good will we had with Russia after the cold war and turned what should have been an ally into an antagonist.

        That is not the example you want to point to. Tell your handlers to get new talking points for you.

        1. He’s not bright enough to understand we have a bicameral legislature, cut him some slack.

        2. Not only did it squander good will with Russia, Clinton’s bombing of the Chinese embassy in Belgrade will continue to hamper good relations with China for a generation.

          The Chinese do not think that the CIA is so incompetent that it couldn’t keep up with the address of their embassy, and consider it and the murder of three Chinese civilians as an hostile act by the US.

          1. In fairness, Obama doesn’t think the murder of a US ambassador is that big of a deal. So maybe he just doesn’t realize how angry that makes the Chinese.

            1. The big difference is that Chinese media (Chinese government propaganda) made a big deal about the US killing their people and bombing their embassy, whereas US media (US government propaganda) has downplayed culpability regarding Bengazi. The latter is very much in keeping with Hillary!’s official sentiment of “At this point what difference does it make?”

              There is good reason that US government propaganda downplays culpability for Benghazi: the perpetrators of Benghazi are aligned with Wahhabi Sunnis.

            2. Maybe he thinks the Chinese should have sympathy for the loss of our personal in Benghazi?

              Kind of like the way Shiites should have sympathy for Sunnis being the victim of poison gas attacks.

              1. I have totally stolen your line about that sounding like something a bunch of high school students doing Model UN would come up with. And to think people in real positions of power and authority are that stupid. It is just scary.

                1. Wasn’t the premise of Tuchman’s Guns of August (about the start of WW I) that the diplomats bungled their way into a huge war?

                  It’s comical and scary at the same time.

        3. Instead of composing lengthy responses to Shriek, you could, like, not.

        4. Clinton also limited pilots to 15K to make sure he didn’t have an embarassing shoot downs. Since the AF at the time had crappy targeting pods (if any) they basically sacrificed accurate bombing and target ID to protect the pilots – amoral warmaking. Either take the risk or don’t do it.

    3. Does the WPA compel him to even seek approval before 90 days? Isn’t that one of the reasons Libya was such a shitshow?

      1. The relevant question of whether the War Powers Resolution applies is whether the situation in Syria has created “a national emergency created by attack upon the United States, its territories or possessions, or its armed forces.”

        It is absurd, of course, to argue that proposition in the affirmative. However, the US government is absurd, so there you go.

      2. The WPA is repeatedly been abused. It allows for action w/o approval for 90 days if an attack on US/US forces is imminent or has occurred. It has been perverted to a 90 day free for all.

      3. Yes, the WPA does compel the president to seek approval from Congress before attacking. There has been no attack on the US or its forces, and none is imminent.

        Obama should have already been impeached for bombing Libya without Congressional consent. He didn’t even file the necessary notices on time if it had been an emergency.

  43. Obama’s Successful Foreign Failure
    …Summing up the net effect of all this, as astute a foreign observer as Conrad Black can flatly say that, “Not since the disintegration of the Soviet Union in 1991, and before that the fall of France in 1940, has there been so swift an erosion of the world influence of a Great Power as we are witnessing with the United States.”

    Yet if this is indeed the pass to which Mr. Obama has led us?and I think it is?let me suggest that it signifies not how incompetent and amateurish the president is, but how skillful. His foreign policy, far from a dismal failure, is a brilliant success as measured by what he intended all along to accomplish. The accomplishment would not have been possible if the intention had been too obvious. The skill lies in how effectively he has used rhetorical tricks to disguise it.

    The key to understanding what Mr. Obama has pulled off is the astonishing statement he made in the week before being elected president: “We are five days away from fundamentally transforming the United States of America.” …

    1. …But foreign policy was another matter. As a left-wing radical, Mr. Obama believed that the United States had almost always been a retrograde and destructive force in world affairs. Accordingly, the fundamental transformation he wished to achieve here was to reduce the country’s power and influence. And just as he had to fend off the still-toxic socialist label at home, so he had to take care not to be stuck with the equally toxic “isolationist” label abroad. …

      1. Just say “Kenyan anti-colonial” – shorter + we know what it means.

        1. That is true. He probably doesn’t mean to do what he is doing. He really is that stupid.

          I don’t think you are helping your case there shreek.

  44. Look at this fucking hipster.

    What you’re looking at is a person (let’s call him Tony) standing in Times Square behind our own Erin Andrews, who was trying to get through a segment on the FOX NFL Sunday postgame show.

    Of course it is…

    1. at what point will we reach post-hipster? I’m praying (in an atheist sort of way) for that day.

    2. He looks like he could be a relief pitcher for the SF Giants.

      1. MLB pitchers usually at least have some semblance of muscle tone.

        1. 2 words.

          Rich Garces aka El Guapo

    3. Caleb: Hey Tony, let’s go ruin that promotion to mindless, barbaric sports!

      Tony: Yeah! If I just mindlessly stare while you unequivocally agree with every word that cheerleader says, we will totally be turning a mirror onto those drooling masses who promulgate this hollow, machismo display.

      They can’t wait for Occupy 2.0.

  45. As an FSU fan, I’d just like to say that the only way the UF-Miami game could have been any more satisfying is if there were a meteor strike at the end.

    1. That is what UF gets for hiring a UT reject. Bill Muchamp was on a staff that managed to waste more NFL talent and lose more big games than maybe any other staff in history. UT of the early to mid 00s was every year the greatest play station team in America. Yet, sans one year where Vince Young willed them to a title, won exactly nothing. Forget national titles, they couldn’t get past OU, Colorado and K-State to win conference titles.

      So UF hires the understudy and sure enough, they are a talented underachieving team. Who could have seen that coming?

      1. OTOH, Gene Chizik won a national title with UT, a national title at Auburn and is now unemployed because of one bad (very bad) year. Although I do think that both of these illustrate the fact that good coordinators do not necessarily make good head coaches, and there ought to be more steps between Big Program coordinator and Big Program head coach. Two good years as a coordinator should not win you a marquee job. You should have to do like Urban Meyer and Mack Brown and coach a 50-50 Program for a while.

        1. Chizik had more than 1 bad year.

          Like every year at Iowa St.

        2. Chizik did that before going to Auburn, he coached for 2 years at Iowa St, going 5-19. And Auburn hired him anyway.

          1. Yeah. Good point. I forgot about him being a decidedly mediocre head coach already.

            1. He was also my 3rd grade teacher, so I wish him the best.

              1. He was also my 3rd grade teacher

                Really? Bizarre.

                Did he buy the big 6th grader so your class could kick ass in dodgeball?

                1. Haha. No. I think he was just out of college and coaching at the HS across the street (Seminole HS in Clearwater, FL in case its in his resume.), but my parents just moved and my mom confirmed that she does indeed have a picture of Gene Chizik standing w/ me 3rd grade class.

                  But yeah, I don’t remember him being anything but a normal teacher.

        3. The fact that Chizik has a national title is a pretty strong argument for Cam Newton being the greatest college quarterback of all time.

          1. There are 180,000 reasons Chizik won a national title.

            1. Yeah and that got him Newton. Seriously, how great was Newton? They beat Alabama that year and a really good Oregon team. And other than Nick Farley, I am not sure they had another NFL player on the roster.

      2. Texas from 2005-2009 played for 2 MNCs and should have played for one in 2008. Not many teams have runs like that, even if you want to call it underachieving.

        The problem was a criminally incompetent OC not Muschamp.

        1. Not to let Brown and his relatively passive approach off the hook. Even with that, again, Muschamp is a polar opposite there.

        2. Look at the talent they had. I would argue they had more talent than Alabama has had in the last four years. They definitely had more than Nebraska had in the mid 1990s and both of those schools won three national titles in four years. UT alums are all over the field in the field in the NFL, that is at every position except QB. But UT had great college QBs even if they did totally fuck up and not recruit any of the various former Texas high school quarterbacks now playing in the NFL.

          1. They had 2 great college QBs: Young, who went 30-2 with a MNC and McCoy who played in one MNC and should have played in another.

            Name some of Texas’ uber-talented offensive players from those years.

            Playing the 20-20 hindsight recruiting thing is pretty much bullshit, though. Luck was never coming to Texas. RG III was seen as good but not great or he wouldn’t have been at fucking Baylor. Manziel, while good, has made it clear why so many programs steered clear of him. Who the hell could have known Gilbert had maxed out?

            Texas basically pulled a Florida State: beat the piss out of almost everyone for a decade, fuck up once a year, and not win as many MNCs as the fans would have wanted. It sucks, but it’s not meaningfully worse than getting your ass whipped like Big Game Bob or never winning games in the first place.

            1. That said, their decidedly 1st tier recruiting and 2nd tier effort the last two years makes me think Mack Brown has lost the fire. It may be time for him to go.

              1. Recruiting hasn’t been 1st tier for quite a while now, hence the problems.

                I think he should have been gone two years ago. I think his political skills have ingratiated him with enough deep pockets that it’s going to be hard to do anything unless Brown agrees, barring a complete implosion (which is a distinct possibility). It’s Bowdenesque.

                I hope the rumors from some of the disgruntled huge donors of how much Texas is willing to pay and whom Texas is targeting are accurate.

            2. Name some of Texas’ uber-talented offensive players from those years.

              Jamaal Charles, Jermichael Finley, Cedric Benson, Ricky Williams, Limas Sweed (2nd rounder), Roy Williams, Mike Williams, Leonard Davis (both top five NFL picks as OL).

              They had a ton of talent.

              1. Williams was gone after ’98. Sweed was nowhere near uber-talented.

                Charles, Benson, Roy Williams (though a flake), Mike Williams, and Davis were pretty elite guys in college. So you named 3 skill players and two linemen from 10 years of teams.

                1. I named totally dominant skill players. And don’t forget Jermicheal Finley who is one of the better receivers in the NFL. This is college. A NFL receiver and running back on the same team ought to produce a dominant offense. How many skill players off the mid 90s Nebraska teams that went 59-3 over five years made the NFL? A lot fewer than that. But Nebraska had a great coaching staff. UT not so much.

                  1. How many skill players from an option team made the NFL? That’s your question? Jesus fuck. Talk about apples to kangaroos, even with plenty of Husker backs who didn’t end up in prison making it to the NFL.

                    Yeah, Finley was good, too, though he left early like Charles. I think people who follow college football but not particular teams think that all of a school’s NFL players were somehow on the team together.

                    As far as Charles, he almost single-handedly beat Nebraska in Austin after Davis went more to an option game after the QB got hurt. He really was a badass even though he had a lot of nagging injuries at Texas. He’d be talked of with Campbell and Williams if he had stayed healthy in college. I mean, fuck, he gets yards for the damned Chiefs.

                    I’m not arguing that Texas didn’t have a lot of talent or didn’t lose games that should have been won but outside of 2005 there wasn’t a lot of elite offensive talent there at the same time and, when there was, Greg Davis (and Brown) squandered it trying to play 1975 football in the 2000s.

                    You won’t find many Texas fans defending Davis or Brown’s decision to keep him for so long but, back to the point, none of that stuff has anything to do with Muschamp. Muschamp doesn’t have a QB. If Florida converted their scoring chances they would have beaten Miami bloody. They didn’t, but coaches are supposed to coach and players are supposed to execute. The Florida staff had their players in a position to win and the player(s) spit the bit.

                    1. They didn’t, but coaches are supposed to coach and players are supposed to execute. The Florida staff had their players in a position to win and the player(s) spit the bit.

                      Three possessions inside the 10 and they came away with 6 pts. I think the coaches have to own that. Although I think the O-line is not what it was, becuase Driskell wasn’t that bad last year. I’m withholding judgement for now. But I think how Muschamp fares in the SEC this year will tell the story.

            3. “MNC”

              What the fuck is an MNC? You write a god damned tome about the subject, but you’re too fucking lazy to write “national championship”?

    2. As an FSU fan, I’d just like to say that the only way the UF-Miami game could have been any more satisfying is if there were a meteor strike at the end.


      I have no love at all for the Hurricanes (I grew up in Miami during the Wide Right years), but I fucking hate the Gators. The only true justice would have been a large sink hole devouring both teams as time expired.

      1. You and Brett have made me laugh….thanks.

        “A sinkhole has appeared on the field…My God, both teams are falling in! And…meteors incoming!”

        1. “The sinkhole appears to be full of giant invasive pythons!”

          I like it.

  46. Putin’s annointed candidate wins Moscow election with 51% of the vote.

    1. Only 51 percent? I hope measures are taken against the recalcitrant 49 percent

      1. They’re already living in Russia…

    2. So much for the great libertarian hope.

    1. speaking of male gaze…

  47. XBox or PS4 – I need the info on which to buy for the kid for Xmas. Haven’t checked comments if this has been discussed as I’m running to get on a flight. Thanks!

    1. Screw that, buy a PC!


      Anyway, the XBox One kind of creeps me out. And since the PS4 has moved to a “normal” x86 processor instead of Cell it should probably have better support for more games.

      1. Anyway, the XBox One kind of creeps me out.

        Rest assured that every “feature” that was creep-worthy about the Xbox One has been removed.

        1. And Microsoft will never, ever try to shoehorn them back in there once the console is selling. They pinky promise.

    2. PS4. $100 cheaper, slightly more powerful (though not enough to really matter), and they don’t lock down all apps if you don’t pay for their online gaming service, like MS does.

    3. Does the kid have either legacy system? Because as much as I don’t want the Xbox One, I’m trained to the Xbox now.

  48. Hi gize. I’m sure no one has noticed my absence, but just in case….my Ma is dying. I drove from my VT vacation home, spent one night there, then drove another 8 hours to NC. My parents just celebrated their 50th anniversary in June. Every fucking day the fucking doctors and nurses at hospice tell us “it’s just a matter of hours”. That was over 4 days ago when they started telling us that shit.

    Gitmo should start using this kind of torture, if they don’t already.

    1. Oh KK, I’m so sorry to hear that. We had a similar situation with my dad, so I know how it feels. It somehow makes death, when it does come, harder to believe.

      I’m sending kind thoughts your way. Which have resale value on eBay. Probably.

    2. For what it’s worth, you have my sincere condolences. Went through this with my wife’s aunt, most recently. My dad died when I was 12, so that was a looooong time ago.

      Wish I could do something to help – you’ll be in our prayers, even if you’re a typical HyR a-religious type 🙂

    3. My sympathies. I went through that in 05. There is nothing good to say about it. All I can say is, don’t worry about having some last great cathartic visit. Those rarely happen. Your relationship to her is the sum of all the years you have known her. No one moment sums that up. And as horrible as it is to lose her, as time passes the loss does diminish and your appreciation for the rest of it increases.

      Hang in there. It is just horrible. But it will get better.

    4. I noticed. I am sorry things are so bad and drawn out. If small town Methodist prayers help, they are on the way.

    5. Sorry about that Kristen. My dad’s mom went through a similar thing this spring. She was a tough old bird and went 5 days after she stopped eating and drinking. But she never seemed uncomfortable. The hospice people who handled her were good people, and you can trust their advice. We’ll keep a good thought for you and your family at the L compound.

    6. So sorry to hear, Kristen. My thoughts are with you and your folks.

    7. I’m so sorry, Kristen….

    8. I’m terrible at giving condolences – but for what it is worth, you have mine.


    9. Thanks all. I did get to see her and speak to her before she went completely unconscious. I’m just mainly here to help my Pa at this point. Hospice is awesome – about a jillion times better than a hospital. I just wish they wouldn’t say “any time now” – more vague might be better in this case because the pins & needles hurt. My work has been super – I teleworked here in NC last week, and it looks like this week as well.

      1. Hospice is awesome – about a jillion times better than a hospital.


    10. Also, one friend texted me this picture (Nick Offermna, aka Ron Swanson). That is a good damn friend. Another friend referred me to the show Drunk History. So, another good friend.

      1. *Offerman

    11. Sorry to hear that. You were fortunate to see her before she became unconscious though so keep that in mind. My thoughts are with you and your family.

    12. My sympathies are with you. I know there’s not much comfort to be had in these kinds of statements but know that we’re thinking of you.

    13. My thoughts are with you KK.

      And try not to be to harsh on hospice. Predicting the end is not an exact science.

      Wishing you and your family strength.

  49. Syria is turning into Libertopia!

    Issa, who is 10 years old, works with his father in a Free Syrian Army weapons factory in Aleppo, fixing equipment for ten hours a day, six days a week.

    1. Reuters can’t even identify a lathe. What tards.

  50. Nevertheless, Secretary of State John Kerry demanded that the Syrian government hand over “every single bit” of their chemical weapons within a week.

    It’s been One Week since you looked at me
    Fueled the Tomahawks and said “get ready”
    Five days since you blustered more, saying
    “Well kick your ass with our friends at G-20”
    Three days since you walked it back
    “There’s no red line; pulled it from my ass crack”
    Yesterday you said you were the real thing
    But it’s been a few days and now the world’s laughing.

  51. I’m so glad that football season has started, because I love to SCROLL DOWN PAST PAGES OF DULL SUBTHREADS.

    1. Go hang on out Jezebel if you want srsbzns!1! all day everyday.

      1. Surely it would be more entertaining for everyone involved if you guys took your football discussions over to Jezebel.

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