ObamaCare Still a Big 404 Error, Syria Versus Sequestration, More FISA Court Documents to Come Out: P.M. Links

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  1. House Republicans are looking to use the potential for war in Syria to try to undo the sequestration cuts to the military budget.

    We already own the cruise missiles.

    1. Dweebston

      How can we afford to replace them unless we walk back the draconian cuts to new spending? It’s like you want Assad to win or something.

      1. Well, the next Assad.

  2. Bam!

    According to Schneier based on Snowden documents, the NSA is capable of decrypting most of the Internet.

    1. CE

      Except for Slate. That part makes no sense.

      1. Decryption implies that there is information in the message.

      2. Thane of the Candy Kingdom

        Except for Slate

        I don’t get it.

        1. C. Anacreon

          No one can figure out what they are saying on Slate.

        2. ant1sthenes

          They can’t convert the information there to an intelligible form.

  3. More Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court documents are going to be released…

    So the plan is to get the NSA to blow its budget on black permanent markers?

    1. Jerryskids

      More Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court documents are going to be released…

      I, for one, hope they catch whoever it is that’s going to be releasing these documents and string him up by his nutsack. I have it on good authority that those documents are top secret and kept from public view for a very good reason and, also for a very good reason, you and I are not allowed to know what that reason is. All of these documents have been seen and reviewed and commented on and approved by everyone who has any reason to know they even exist. TOP MEN. To let them be seen by people who don’t need to see them is nothing less than aiding and abetting the enemy. It’s treason, is what it is.

      I sure hope the DoJ catches whoever it is that’s planning to release these documents and ships their ass off to Guantanamo – them and every last one of their associates in whatever terrorist organization they work for.

      1. ant1sthenes

        I see what you did there.

  4. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

    House Republicans are looking to use the potential for war in Syria to try to undo the sequestration cuts to the military budget.

    Fuckers can’t do anything right.

    1. “No, fuck you, cut spending.”

  5. Snark Plissken

    France says it won’t go it alone in any military actions on Syria, which is another incentive for Congress to say no.

    Because surrendering…aw too easy.

    1. Killazontherun

      If the French want our badge to replace us as the World’s Policeman, I’d say, ‘here you go. Enough of this shit. I’m going back to business school. Hope you learn from our mistakes before you make some of your own. And thanks for putting out that brush fire we accidentally lit in Mali, too.’

      1. Long Range Boredom

        Fingers crossed for another Dien Bien Phu.

  6. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

    Counterfeiting American dollars is more profitable than producing cocaine in Peru. Does that count as a drug war victory?

    I SPIT ON AMERICANOS!

    1. I have a feeling at some point that outsourced quantitative easing is going to swing cocaine back to the forefront in profitability.

      1. NeonCat

        “This note is redeemable in cocaine or legal tender at any narcobank.”

    2. It’s not counterfeiting. It’s private sector quantitative easing.

      1. The Fed’s probably running the operation.

        1. Generic Stranger

          The FED is ALREADY the WORLD’s LARGEST counterfeiter! None of the “FED Notes” Are actually real money! They are all marked with the Eye of Providence, an ALIEN symbol that shows their allegiance to the LIZARD PEOPLE FROM ALPHA CENTAURI.

          WAKE UP PEOPLE!!1!!11!

          Hmm, not sure I got this crazy ranting thing down yet…

          1. I wasn’t quite going there.

            1. Agammamon

              You should know how crazy works by now. Its not what *you* intended, its that you mentioned a trigger-subject for crazy.

          2. Mad Scientist

            Hmm, not sure I got this crazy ranting thing down yet…

            Just so long as the voices have it down, you’ll do fine.

          3. Anonymous Coward

            NEEDS MOAR [BRACKETS].

            1. Generic Stranger

              I knew I was missing something.

    3. A Secret Band of Robbers

      The DEA and Federal Reserve are working closely on a solution.

  7. Following a failed attempt to assassinate Egypt’s interior minister, the country is vowing a crackdown on terrorism there.

    In unrelated news, the Muslim Brotherhood has been designated a terrorist organization in Egypt.

    1. You mean by the Egyptian government? Or by us? It’s got to be the former.

  8. jesse.in.mb

    thanks in part to pressure from the Electronic Frontier Foundation (not to mention public outrage).

    And this is why they get all the donation portion of my Humble Bundle purchases.

    1. Jerryskids

      thanks in part to pressure from the Electronic Frontier Foundation (not to mention public outrage).

      And this is why they get all the donation portion of my Humble Bundle purchases.

      I’ve been acting outrageously in public for years and haven’t seen a dime. Although I was threatened with a sockful of nickels once.

  9. Auric Demonocles

    Attempts to actually implement the Affordable Care Act remain thwarted by computer glitches.

    Simple. What are libertarians overrepresented in? Technical fields like programming. What do programmers do? Make computer do thinks. Libertarians made the computers racist.

    1. Engineers above all else like to make things work. This will be their healthcare undoing.

      1. Yes. Unfortunately, if you turn a certain type of person loose on a End-of-the-World machine, they will make it fucking work.

        1. Auric Demonocles

          As long as there isn’t a more racist option available!

        2. Dr. Frankenstein

          “I am become death, the destroyer of worlds” J. Robert Oppenheimer

        3. T

          Look, man, I just design the machines. Customers decide what to do with them. Some days you get oil, some days you get ecological disasters. Not my problem.

          And you know why? Because I can’t design out stupid.

    2. Blame Al Gore for the glitches. He invented the Internet, aftar all.

  10. Damned Fool

    Can Egypt actually crack down more than it has already cracked down?

    “Burn the villages; burn the farms. Let them learn what it means to choose the wrong side.”

  11. Auric Demonocles

    Students from my alma mater in trouble for “offensive” MILF search

    1. RBS

      I don’t see what the problem is.

    2. Snark Plissken

      Missus cool rides out in her aged Cadillac.
      Livin’, lovin’, she’s just a woman.

    3. If both sides consent, what’s the problem?

      (That’s a rhetorical question. I know there are people itching for a reason to be offended at other people’s pleasure.)

      1. Dr. Frankenstein

        Are you trying to seduce me Mrs. Robinson?

    4. Art Vandelay

      I was really hoping for some MILF pics.

      1. Libertymike

        Me too.

    5. hamilton

      You’re UVM? You get worser than Hitler with every passing nanosecond.

      1. Auric Demonocles

        You should pay more attention. That’s come up several times before. I’m also Cornell.

        I can’t imagine where you could have gone to have a strong opinion about UVM. Even our Hockey East rivals aren’t heated.

        1. hamilton

          You should pay more attention. That’s come up several times before. I’m also Cornell.

          Don’t lecture me you granola-eating hippie.

          I’m MIT. The anti-UVM part is just the byproduct of a bad drunk weekend from my college days.

          1. Auric Demonocles

            Drunk weekends in Burlington are amazing.

            Though there are a lot of hippies. I was one of the weird students who went there because I was smart and in state so I got a free ride, not because I was a hippie or my parents had a summer home in Vermont.

        2. Ithaca College is higher atop Cayuga’s waters.

          1. Auric Demonocles

            And I care because?

            1. Libertymike

              Because you strive to be geographically informed.

    6. This investigation is proof of two things: Too many school administrators. Too many law enforcement officers.

      1. RBS

        And not enough milfs.

        1. Technically you have control over that number.

      2. CE

        Another case of too many law enforcement officers and too many laws:

        http://www.cnbc.com/id/101008527

        A spokesman for the Tigard police said the arrests took place in the late afternoon at a local hotel.

        “We placed an online ad and within the first four hours we had arrested seven people. Our decoy officer was getting phone calls almost immediately,” the spokesperson said.

        So the paying customer gets charged with a crime where none took place, and the police officer impersonating a service worker gets away with false advertising.

    7. Eduard van Haalen

      Man, they’re so young their idea of a MILF is 25 or older. I bet they feel like necrophiliacs.

      1. Auric Demonocles

        Technically a MILF’s age should not be a factor, just the existence of children….

        But they don’t seem to mention that part at all, so I think they’re just dumb and stoned.

      2. They’re using the porn definition of any woman with large breasts who doesn’t appear to be pubescent.

        1. Eduard van Haalen

          “So, you’re like, 25? Wow, you were like born in 1988 – you didn’t even have ipods!”

          1. Eduard van Haalen

            “I don’t feel right…it’s as if I were [bleep]ing my grandmother!”

  12. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

    San Antonio passes anti-bias and discrimination legislation for gays

    San Antonio’s leaders on Thursday approved anti-bias protections for gay and transgender residents, despite the disapproval of top Texas Republicans and religious conservatives who packed a City Council hearing and occasionally shamed supporters for comparing the issue to the civil rights movement.
    The 8-3 City Council vote in favor of the ordinance was a victory for gay rights advocates and for Democratic Mayor Julian Castro, a top surrogate of President Barack Obama. Castro has called the ordinance overdue in the nation’s seventh-largest city, where there is a stronger current of traditionalism and conservatism than other major Texas cities that already have similar gay rights protections.
    San Antonio joins nearly 180 other U.S. cities that have nondiscrimination ordinances that prohibit bias based on sexual orientation or gender identity, according to the Human Rights Campaign.

    The usual complaints are about lawsuits against churches and businesses that violate the freedom of conscience of those people.

    1. jesse.in.mb

      Democratic Mayor Julian Castro, a top surrogate of President Barack Obama

      Can Michelle not have children naturally? Why are they hiring this Julian to carry children to term? How many of these surrogates are there!?

      (yes, I know what the word means in this context)

    2. DJF

      “””””Democratic Mayor Julian Castro, a top surrogate of President Barack Obama””

      That is not saying much for Obama since the city of San Antonio mayor is just a figurehead, the city manager and council runs the city.

  13. Idle Hands

    But I’m sure this is just one case and not a problem endemic in every branch and department in gov at every level:

    1. Idle Hands

      http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..story.html

  14. Auric Demonocles

    Given the fact that last night was the series’ finale (which I actually thought was quite good), here’s the ten funniest episodes of Futurama according to some website I’ve never heard of before. Epi is not going to like the inclusion of a reboot episode. Personally, I think the list needs more Nibblonians.

    1. Auric Demonocles

      Oops, that link goes to the end of the list. Just remove the 11 from the end.

      1. Is it all on one page, or is it one of those fucking list slideshows?

        1. Libertymike

          Don’t you hate those fuckers?

        2. jesse.in.mb

          You know how slideshows set Ted off, AD, why would you do this to us?

          1. Auric Demonocles

            I actually do hate slideshows too, but the plan was to piss off Epi by talking about the new seasons, not to piss off Ted with the slideshow. That’s just a bonus.

            1. Mad Scientist

              Pissing off Epi is as easy as turning on Warty. Aim higher!

            2. I didn’t click on it. I figured since you mentioned the link had an “11” in it, it had to be a slideshow. So I simply avoided it.

              That having been said, I’m amazed that any user likes slideshow lists. I understand the site owners do it in a desperate attempt to garner more clicks. But you’d have to be as freaky as Warty to be a user and like it.

    2. It was okay, although that may be in part that the original series finale (“The Devil’s Hands Are Idle Playthings”) was one of the best finales ever, so it had very big shoes to fill.

  15. Rich

    Attempts to actually implement the Affordable Care Act remain thwarted by computer glitches.

    Fear not. Any confusion that results when this goes live will be easily rectified by DemocratCare’s Navigators.

  16. andarm16

    Shouldn’t that be error 503?

  17. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

    Hey Mother Gaia, is that the world’s largest underwater shield volcano or are you just happy to see me?

    At a size equivalent to the state of New Mexico or British Isles, the underwater shield volcano known as Tamu Massif is the largest individual volcano ever documented on Earth, according to new research to be published in the journal Nature Geoscience.
    The underwater behemoth is nearly as big as the giant volcanoes on the surface of Mars, making it not only the largest on Earth, but among the largest in the solar system.
    Estimated to be 145 million years old, Tamu Massif’s summit is located beneath about 6,500 feet of water in the Pacific Ocean, about 1,000 miles off the east coast of Japan. Parts of its base are believed to be in waters almost four miles deep.

  18. PapayaSF

    Prediction: The Obamacare exchanges “open” on time, with severely reduced functionality and a huge number of problems. The problems are all covered in depth on Fox and the other conservative and libertarian news sources, and minimally covered elsewhere. The administration and MSM will highlight a few people who are now getting subsidized coverage and use them as proof of the program’s success. The official administration/JournoList/MSM party line on all the failures will be that they are just minor bugs to be worked out, and are the fault of Republicans for not fully funding it.

    1. Rich

      I think you’ve pretty much nailed it.

    2. Wait, I thought anecdotes were bad.

      1. Auric Demonocles

        That’s only with cold weather.

    3. andarm16

      I think you’ve got it. The exchanges will open, allow you to register, but you’ll have to make a phone call, and have plan information sent to you via snail mail. But still, media matters will proclaim the exchanges as up and running and anything to the contrary as Republican propaganda.

    4. Why do you think they left a three month gap from enrollment to coverage?

      To smooth issues out of course.

      Prediction (repeat of mine) – A year from now the ACA won’t be the big success or problem everyone predicts it will.

      1. everyone

        I rue the day when one of your predictions fail.

        Palin’s Buttplug| 9.2.13 @ 5:57PM |#

        If everyone agreed with me I would quit posting.

        1. It won’t work, John.

          1. everyone

            Agrede.

            Palin’s Buttplug| 9.2.13 @ 5:57PM |#

            If everyone agreed with me I would quit posting.

      2. C. Anacreon

        Here’s my prediction: a year from now, just about everyone will have to pay a lot more, for much worse coverage, than their current policies. The average Joe will be pissed. But all we will see on TV is some story about a likeable down-on-her-luck type who got some benefit from Obamacare, implying we should all dance in the streets about how wonderful the program is.

        1. If that becomes true it will be an unqualified failure and the Dems will get routed in the midterms.

        2. Jordan

          And Stalin’s Buttboy will still vigorously defend it.

    5. Additional prediction: the exchanges will lead to a huge a identity theft problem of some sort, which will be made worse because the government responds by denying it’s occuring for months rather than taking the exchanges down to fix the security hole.

  19. Archduke Trousersenthusiast

    Solution: Ban illegal hunting and camping.

  20. Apatheist ?_??

    Not an Onion article:

    In an extreme effort to stamp out unfriendly competition, a youth soccer group in Midlake, Ontario, is eliminating soccer balls from their games and forcing kids to pretend they’re kicking a ball around.
    …
    “The ball-less soccer this year as a challenge from a coaching perspective,” said Keith Schultz, head coach of a ball-less Midlake team for children under the age of 11, according to the report. “I have to do a lot of imagining.

    1. LynchPin1477

      ball-less soccer

      You got that right.

    2. NoVAHockey

      that can’t be real.

      1. Snark Plissken

        It’s not.

    3. Archduke Trousersenthusiast

      it’s a story from a fake news show on the CBC
      FAKE NEWS SHOW

    4. Brandon

      Fuckin Canadians

    5. Meh. That’s how I see soccer anyway.

    6. Apatheist ?_??

      I figured it was a hoax when I read it but you never know. Jokes on the Washington times I guess.

      1. rts

        It’s right at the top of your link:

        Editor’s note: The following is a story based on satire originally created by OpposingViews.com

        1. Apatheist ?_??

          That wasn’t there when I read it!

    7. Auric Demonocles

      I win every game.

    8. John

      Words fail. Do these people think the real world gives a shit about how their children feel? It is downright cruel to raise your child to be totally unprepared for competition or failure.

      1. T

        One of the cousins was in a no-score baseball league when he was young (9 or 10). We picked him up and he promptly tells us his team won. We looked at each other and said “But you aren’t keeping score!”

        He said “Yeah, right. We all know who wins and loses.”

        That illustrated the futility of the whole concept to me. The adults may not be keeping score, but the players damn sure are.

        1. John

          I have heard that. Kids are kids. No fucking way do they not keep score amongst themselves. But this takes this insanity to a new level. No ball? Pathetic.

        2. Troy muy grande boner

          ..a glimmer of hope.

        3. Smilin' Joe Fission

          This was in a 2 and half men episode. The kid was playing scoreless baseball and when they were driving him home he knew the exact score of the game.

    9. CE

      “He shoots… he scores!”

      “Nuh-uh! I made a great save!”

  21. Irish

    Buzzfeed: Was Mitt Romney Right About Everything?

    1. Mitt can still help out with ORomneycare.

      1. everyone

        Ha! Ha! Yes, totally!

        Palin’s Buttplug| 9.2.13 @ 5:57PM |#

        If everyone agreed with me I would quit posting.

    2. Does that include the vicarious baptism and magic underwear stuff?

      1. Irish

        What’s funny about Romney is that he got mocked more for the things he was right about than the things he was wrong about. He gave us the basis for the disaster that is Obamacare, and did he get mocked for that? No. He got mocked for his totally accurate statements about Russia and Mali.

    3. Yeah he said Russia was bad news, but his proposed was solution was basically that if he was elected, Putin would be so afeared of the Wrath of Mitt that he’d immediately start toeing the line, which was just as ridiculous as Obama’s Russia and US BFFs fantasy.

      It’s not so much that Mitt was right as it is that he was ridiculousy wrong in a manner orthogonal to the way Obama was ridiculously wrong.

  22. Obama, Putin share “pleasant but not over friendly” handshake.

    http://livewire.talkingpointsm…..os?ref=fpb

    No loving looks into the soul though.

    1. Rich

      “Not over friendly”?

      Are you kidding? Just look at O’s shit-eating grin in the third photo.

    2. CE

      The handshake was just firm enough.

    3. everyone

      Agreed with the not over friendly part. Why isn’t Putin’s cock in Obama’s mouth?

      Palin’s Buttplug| 9.2.13 @ 5:57PM |#

      If everyone agreed with me I would quit posting.

      1. mnarayan

        OK it took me two posts to get it. I feel about as dumb as shriek right now.

      2. It won’t work, John.

      3. PH2050

        Every time I see this shit I laugh. Every. Single. Time.

        Thanks.

  23. Archduke Trousersenthusiast

    Saint Mary’s University says it will conduct a special review to find out why student leaders were chanting about non-consensual underage sex in a video captured during frosh week at the Halifax school

    “It wasn’t a big deal to me. I’m not a feminist kind of person. It didn’t affect me personally,” said second-year psychology student Amanda Fougere

    1. Is there a direct link to the video so we can judge for ourselves whether it’s offensive?

      What do the O and G stand for?

    2. Apatheist ?_??

      “I cried for three hours last night after I saw this. I am a rape survivor. I have been affected by sexual violence against underaged minors. As a Saint Mary’s student, I don’t feel this is entertainment. I don’t feel this is something they didn’t know better than to say,” she said.

      “Coming into school for me is difficult as it is already, and then seeing that my school is having this chant in a school sanctioned event, that’s not the legacy I want to be a part of.”

      What a pathetic existence.

      1. Apatheist ?_??

        Premier Darrell Dexter suggested the students who participated in the chant might be from out of province and don’t understand how sensitive the topic of rape is in Nova Scotia.

        Wait what?

        1. Thane of the Candy Kingdom

          It’s not a sensitive issue in the rest of Canada. So uncivilized.

        2. They are very serious about getting consent from their sheep in that province. True fact.

        3. Long Range Boredom

          Maritimer attitude. Most folks from the Maritimes like to think they’re friendlier/nicer people than the rest of Canada. And within Maritime people always think their province is the friendliest.

    3. PapayaSF

      “Underage non-consensual sex!”
      “Underage non-consensual sex!”
      “Underage non-consensual sex!”
      “Rah! Rah! Rah!”

    4. C. Anacreon

      “It wasn’t a big deal to me. I’m not a feminist kind of person. It didn’t affect me personally,” said second-year psychology student Amanda Fougere

      I heard her name “Fougere” pronounced as “Fuck her”, perhaps as spoken in a French-Canadian accent. No wonder it wasn’t a big deal to her.

  24. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

    No Pill, No Problem: The rise of the ‘Pullout’ generation

    These women describe a deliberate transition from the pill to the pullout. They buy organic kale and all-natural cleaning products, and so can’t quite get down with taking synthetic hormones every day. They are more driven by sexual pleasure ? they see orgasms as a right, not a privilege ? and hate the feel of condoms. They wouldn’t call themselves porn aficionados or anything, but they don’t think it’s demeaning to have a man come on them. They’re sick of supposedly egalitarian relationships in which they bear the sole responsibility for staying baby-free. They’re scared to stick an IUD up there, no matter how many rave reviews the devices get. And despite the fact that non-hormonal contraceptive options remain frustratingly limited, there are new tools at their disposal: With period-tracker apps, charting your menstrual cycle is no longer the domain of hippies and IVF patients. They know when to make him put on a condom. Plus, they can keep a packet of Plan B on hand at all times, ready and waiting should anything go awry. So it makes a certain amount of sense that, for these women, the pullout method is looking more like a legitimate contraception option.

    It’s a trap!

    1. Did we eliminate all venereally transmitted diseases, then?

      1. Don’t be such a prude.

        1. I bet you’re a total whore. What did you get for your tramp stamp?

          1. Whatever else I am, I’m not inked. I cannot abide graffiti on my temple.

            1. T

              Hire better painters, then.

      2. Damned Fool

        Didn’t you get the memo?

    2. Irish

      They are more driven by sexual pleasure ? they see orgasms as a right, not a privilege ? and hate the feel of condoms.

      This is the dumbest fucking sentence I have ever read.

      1. Oh, God, I’m exercising my rights!

      2. LynchPin1477

        Government guaranteed orgasms for all!

        1. How will that work? Mandated oral sex? Government orgasm exchanges?

          1. LynchPin1477

            I imagine the citizenry will be issued Flesh Lights or Rabbits, depending on preference. It may already be a part of the ACA! How would anyone know?

            1. Good point. Has anyone actually read the law yet?

              1. LynchPin1477

                It would not at all surprise me to learn that someone put 3.5 pages of gibberish in the ACA just because. Or a recipe for really crappy chocolate chip cookies.

                But they seem to just be making it up as they go along, anyway.

                1. NeonCat

                  They passed it and we still don’t know what was in it?!

            2. PH2050

              I think we males get issued those sperm collector machines from China.

        2. Mad Scientist

          If it’s a right, then I guess we can all start jacking it on a street corner in San Diego.

          1. It’s not a right for oppressors, silly.

          2. hamilton

            “start”?

      3. That’s what masturbation is for, honey.

        (“Honey” refers to the women in the “pullout generation”, not to you.)

        1. Irish

          I was hoping it would be referring to me. 🙁

          1. If you want to masturbate, go right ahead. Just not here, thank you very much.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            You can be an honorary woman of the pullout generation, Irish.

            1. Irish

              Whatever, Jesse. As a gay man, you’re lucky that you don’t have to deal with any of this.

              I mean, when has anything bad happened to gay people as a result of unprotected sex?

              1. What if Jesse’s partner wants a facial?

              2. jesse.in.mb

                I’m continually weireded out by straight people’s blaze attitudes about casual unprotected sex.

                “Oh man she’s on the pill, I don’t have to wear a condom”
                “Uh, when was the last time she got an STD test?”
                “I dunno bro, I’m sure it’s fine, although I am kinda itchy all of a sudden”

                1. Damned Fool

                  blaze attitudes

                  That sounds really, really hot.

                  1. jesse.in.mb

                    Shh, I realized it after I clicked submit. Don’t call attention to it.

      4. Libertymike

        Irish, as long as you deliver the goods, what’s the problema?

    3. hamilton

      Wait, are hipsters switching over to the rhythm method?

    4. kinnath

      There is a technical name for women that rely on the pull-out method — they are called mothers.

      1. John

        Don’t they teach sex ed from like kindergarten now? Clearly sex ed has been a monumental failure if there are large numbers of young people who think ejaculation is necessary for pregnancy.

        1. PapayaSF

          On the other hand, lots of kindergartners now know about fisting and analingus, so there’s that.

          1. C. Anacreon

            And preschoolers now know what it means to get a Hot Karl.

        2. ant1sthenes

          Well, they teach sex ed once, and they teach entitlement for 20 years; no surprise entitlement won.

          1. John

            Someone needs to explain to them that mother nature didn’t get the memo about how special they are.

    5. Haha. I remember when my gf thought she couldn’t get pregnant. Once I decided she was okay, I went along with it. Did I mention I’m getting married in 8 days and we’re having a baby in 3 months?

      She’s an advisor at FSU. I tell her to end every appointment, especially now that she’s visibly pregnant, with “use protection”.

      1. Libertymike

        Seminole insemination.

        1. There’s a rude substitute for Seminole that’s occasionally used, but I’ll skip it in deference to Brett.

          1. Libertymike

            True or sarc?

            1. Look at the word and see what you can come up with. It’s not nonobvious, as patent lawyers say.

              1. I think semenal insemination is literally what happened. Although, it could have been shear force of awesomeness coming off me that impregnated her.

                1. hamilton

                  Your force of awesomeness is not exuded normal to your body surface?

                  1. normal to your body surface

                    Awesome != friction

                2. Mexican jumping semen.

    6. Apatheist ?_??

      Plus, they can keep a packet of Plan B on hand at all times, ready and waiting should anything go awry.

      That’s retarded enough but how to they match it up with this:

      can’t quite get down with taking synthetic hormones every day.

      I suppose organic abortions are their next back up.

      1. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

        I suppose organic abortions are their next back up.

        There’s plenty of stair cases.

        1. Invisible Finger

          Hemp hangers.

      2. Damned Fool

        I think they’re hand crafted as well.

        1. Bill Dalasio

          And fair trade.

      3. jesse.in.mb

        they can keep a packet of Plan B on hand at all times, ready and waiting should anything go awry

        I don’t want to take synthetic hormones daily but I’ll take a MEGADOSE of synthetic hormones which will completely jack-up my cycle and cause other unsavory side effects as needed.

        1. Damned Fool

          To be fair, unless they’re inseminated frequently they probably think that pullout with the occasional Plan B will lead to less synthetic hormones taken in overall than a regular dosage.

          Mind you, they’re still idiots.

          1. Sudden

            In fairness, they are women.

    7. Auric Demonocles

      With period-tracker apps, charting your menstrual cycle is no longer the domain of hippies and IVF patients.

      Not that I’m advocating the rhythm method… But why would it be so hard to track your own period that you need help? I track my girlfriend’s without even trying.

      1. Irish

        That’s a weird coincidence. I track your girlfriend’s too.

      2. LynchPin1477

        It’s a social app. Gotta be able to tweet and instagram about it.

      3. Track it by seeing the bloody tampons, or by charting her mood swings?

        (This is why there are no female libertarians. And I’ve probably pissed off Auric, too….)

        1. Auric Demonocles

          I’m not sure why that would piss me off.

          It’s actually mostly from having sex and the ability to remember timing.

          1. I thought maybe you might consider the “mood swings” thing making fun of your girlfriend.

      4. jesse.in.mb

        One of the classes at my highschool was so small that the boys all tracked the girls’ cycles. This came to light when one of the girls raged out on one of the boys and somebody else said “don’t worry she’s just about to start the rag.” Apparently the boys’ tracking system was more accurate than some of the girls were keeping for themselves.

        1. Irish

          This story is not something you should go around sharing with people.

          1. Auric Demonocles

            Why?

          2. jesse.in.mb

            Out of everything I’ve ever said, that crosses a line?

            Who are you and what have you done with Irish?

      5. Invisible Finger

        It must have cost almost $6 to write that app.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Counterfeiting American dollars is more profitable than producing cocaine in Peru.

    No kidding. There’s a hell of a markup on magic scraps of paper.

    1. Jerryskids

      Counterfeiting American dollars is more profitable than producing cocaine in Peru.

      After seeing it several times, I finally understood the sentence – counterfeiting dollars in Peru is more profitable than producing cocaine in Peru.

      I just thought it was a kinda weird analogy like “Counterfeiting American dollars is more profitable than selling Girl Scout cookies at a Weight-Watchers convention”.

  26. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

    Bring back the Assault Weapons Ban…for the Mexicans!

    A recent study published in the American Political Science Review attempts to measure the impact of U.S. gun laws on Mexican violence by exploiting an interesting natural political experiment. When the 10-year U.S. assault weapon ban expired in 2004, the selling of assault rifles became legal in the border states of Texas, Arizona, and New Mexico, but not California, which had a pre-existing state-level ban. Authors Arindrajit Dube of the University of Massachusetts and Oeindrila Dube and Omar Garcia-Ponce of NYU looked at whether violence increased more in areas of Mexico near border states that were selling these weapons.

    They found that in Mexican municipios?the equivalent of U.S. counties?neighboring entry ports in the three states without the ban saw “total homicides rise by 60% as compared to municipios 100 miles away. This implies an additional 238 homicides in the area within 100 miles of the border, in each of the two years after the 2004 policy change. To put the size of the effect into perspective, the additional homicides stemming from the FAWB expiration represent 21% of all homicides in these municipios during 2005 and 2006. Similarly, the additional gun related homicides represent 30% of all such deaths over this period.”

    1. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

      Of course, this is just a part of the picture of violence in Mexico. The vast majority of the country’s homicides are carried out with handguns (also purchased in the U.S.), not high-caliber assault weapons, so the effect of these bans is probably actually minimal in the larger scheme of things. The study addresses this by noting that the number of assault weapons seized also greatly increased in the areas studied.

      But even if the weapons in question aren’t the primary cause of Mexico’s bloodshed, the study gives an indication of why America’s gun debate is far from just a domestic issue.

      Thankfully our Attorney General did absolutely nothing to contribute to assault weapons falling to the hands of the cartels.

      1. Entropy Void

        Any one who uses the phrase “high-caliber assault weapons ” is so ridiculously stupid an uninformed that they should be rightly ignored and/or shunned.

        … or just shot to keep them out of the gene pool.

    2. Rich

      the additional homicides stemming from the FAWB expiration represent 21% of all homicides in these municipios during 2005 and 2006. Similarly, the additional gun related homicides represent 30% of all such deaths over this period.”

      I must need more coffee. This makes little sense. For instance, do “homicides stemming from the FAWB expiration” include, say, beatings by people upset that the FAWB expired?

    3. LynchPin1477

      It doesn’t sound like they compared homicide rates in border states without the ban to those near California, just 100 miles from the border, which could be 100 miles directly south of Texas, Arizona, or New Mexico. So why mention the CA ban at all?

      And was there actually in the homicide rate involving “assault” weapons?

    4. John

      And they of course fail to mention that many of those guns were sent there by the fucking President and his AG.

      Beyond that, they also apparently don’t understand that guns can be purchased places other than the United States. It is like saying we should deal with an alcoholic by closing the liquor store across the street from his apartment.

  27. Who’s ready for some football? I’m taking bets on how many sad/disgusted Manning face pictures there’s gonna be tonight, even with Baltimore’s cut-rate defense.

    1. Night Elf Mohawk

      He should be fine this early in the season.

      1. Libertymike

        Especially if his kicker doesn’t “get all liquored up.”

        1. When did he play with Seba Janekowski?

          1. Libertymike

            Brett, I don’t know how good a football fan you are, so I don’t know whether your query is legit or sarc.

            Nevertheless, my post was a reference to Peyton’s criticism of his former Colt teammate, Mr. Van Der Deush.

            1. When I think of drunken place-kickers, Seba will always be #1 in my book.

    2. The DerpRider

      Did a pick-em league ever get set up?

      1. Brandon

        Sloop’s been too lazy.

    3. Auric Demonocles

      I’m so ready for it to be back. And either Denver or Baltimore will get a loss, so it’s all good for me!

      By the way:

      Any last minute people can join the Reason pick em here.

      Group number: 45865

      Password: postrel4eva

      1. John

        I am dying for the butt hurt on ESPN when Manning spits the bit in the playoffs this year. There has never been a quarterback who has failed so many times when he had really good teams around him. Elway managed to go to three Super Bowls with teams that would have won five games without him. Montana had great teams but won four Super Bowls with said teams. Brady won three Super Bowls and went to two others losing incredibly close games. Manning has had 12+ win team after 12+ win team and has one Super Bowl and one loss to show for it.

        I am okay with calling him a great quarterback given his career numbers. But no way does he even belong in the conversation of greatest ever.

        1. Auric Demonocles

          I wouldn’t have strong feelings about Manning if some people weren’t so deranged about him that they jump from Colts to Broncos to follow him, and claim with a straight face that he deserved his MVPs in 08 and 09 (and some of them even say he deserved it last year too).

          1. John

            I wouldn’t have strong feelings either if they wouldn’t pretend he belongs on any list of best ever. Playoffs count. And yeah, I understand that some players like Marino and Elway at the beginning of his career were cursed with lousy teams around them. But Manning has had great teams around him and still fails in the playoffs.

            The Baltimore bomb was a tough break last year. But that play never happens if Manning picks up a single first down and runs out the clock. You are supposed to be an all time great and you can’t get a fucking single first down when you need it to close out a game?

            1. Brandon

              When did Manning ever have a great team around him? There were like 7 players on all of Manning’s Colts teams who were even decent, and 3 of those are extremely overrated.

              1. John

                When did Elway or Marino ever have a running back behind them as good as Edrin James? Elway did once with T. Davis, and he won two Super Bowls. Marino never did. And the Colts always had a good defense. Elway never had a receiver as good as Marvin Harrison. Those mid00s Colts teams were stacked.

              2. Auric Demonocles

                When did Manning ever have a great team around him?

                From 2002-2009, and then again in 2012.

            2. The Baltimore bomb was a tough break last year. But that play never happens if Manning picks up a single first down and runs out the clock.

              Or if he doesn’t throw a pick-six in the first quarter. He also didn’t have to throw the second INT in overtime.

            3. Auric Demonocles

              It also wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t throw a pick six earlier in the game.

              But look at Brandon, coming along with a ridiculous position to prove our points. There’s no use pointing out how many top 10 scoring defenses he’s had (more than average for 14 seasons), or the insanely talented receivers he’s had to throw to, or the fact that his replacement in 2010 was so horrible that his biggest claim to fame is running out of his own endzone as part of the 0-16 Lions. He’ll still claim Manning is the greatest ever. He doesn’t even have a better passer rating than Brady who has played in the same era, so you can’t even make an argument that only stats matter.

              1. John

                I hate the Patriots and can’t stand Brady. But it is appalling the kind of receiving and running back talent the Patriots have stuck Brady with. The one year he had a no kidding great receiver, Randy Moss, he went 16-0. But that year he no running game and an ancient defense.

                I really wonder if maybe Bellicheck is the most overrated coach in history and Brady perhaps the most under appreciated QB. None of Belicheck’s disciples have been anything but village idiots when the moved to other franchises. They continually blow draft picks and put out average or worse defenses. But they keep being one of the top four or five teams in the league every year.

                1. Auric Demonocles

                  Since they’ve played with each other for so long, it’s a really circular argument, and we won’t really know the answer unless Brady goes to another team for a couple years before retirement, or Belichick doesn’t retire for a while after Brady does.

                  1. John

                    I know. We will never know. Montana was still a great quarterback even after Walsh retired and when he went to Kansas City, who had nothing like the talent that the 49ers put around him.

                    That really makes me wish Brady would leave NE and go somewhere else just so we know for sure what kind of player he is.

                  2. Irish

                    Since they’ve played with each other for so long, it’s a really circular argument

                    I would agree were it not for a single fact. Matt Cassel went 10-5 for the New England Patriots. Matt Cassel. Admittedly Cassel had one other good year where he went 10-6 for the Chiefs, but the rest of his career his teams have been 4-12, 7-9, and 2-14. The 11-5 Cassel year makes me think Belicheck is a large factor.

                    1. John

                      Matt Cassel went 10-6 for the Chiefs. NE had an easy schedule that year. It was a fluke. Todd Haley managed to win ten games with America’s worst QB starting. Flukes happen.

                2. Irish

                  The one year he had a no kidding great receiver, Randy Moss, he went 16-0. But that year he no running game and an ancient defense.

                  In 8 years Wes Welker has put up 8500 yards. They had Corey Dillon the year he went for 1600 yards. He had Randy Moss for three years, not one, and he put up over 1000 yards all three years. He’s had an unbelievable offensive line. His defense has always been solid and Belicheck is unbelievable.

                  I really wonder if maybe Bellicheck is the most overrated coach in history and Brady perhaps the most under appreciated QB. None of Belicheck’s disciples have been anything but village idiots when the moved to other franchises.

                  What. The Patriots went 11-5 with Matt Cassel starting 15 games. Brady is great, but I think Belicheck is the reason for Patriot success more so than Brady.

                  They continually blow draft picks and put out average or worse defenses.

                  ??? The defense has been down the last few years, but do you really not remember the early to mid 2000 Patriots with Tedy Bruschi? They had some very solid defenses. It’s only been since 2011 or so that their defense has really trended downwards.

                  1. John

                    In 8 years Wes Welker has put up 8500 yards.

                    Lets see how effective he is in Denver. I am not buying that Welker is that great. There was a reason why no one wanted him when he left Miami. His numbers are a product of the offense and Brady.

                    And Dillon was a good back. And Moss was most dominant in the 16-0 year.

                    And yes, the defenses in the early 00s were very good. But a lot of those players were there when Bellicheck got there. The defenses in the late 00s that were all his players were all lousy. He inherited most of the great defensive players of the SB teams from the previous regime. He didn’t draft guys like Bruski and Lawyer Mallow. They were there when he got there.

                    1. Irish

                      I was also wrong about Moss. Moss was with the Patriots for three years but one of those was the Cassel season. Brady only had Moss as a target for two years. The second tends to be forgotten because it wasn’t record setting, but Moss still put up like 1400 yards.

          2. Manning has a more brutal playoff record than Brett Favre. And yet a lot of non-player types covering the leage have always had more deference toward Manning than Favre, even before 2008.

        2. Brandon

          Manning has always had terrible teams around him. They got the first pick in the draft the one time he was out. He is the second greatest in history, and if he goes out with consecutive super bowls like Elway he will be the greatest.

          1. John

            He had a bad team around him his last year in Indy. Before that, he had all pros on his offensive line, top quality running backs like Edrin James, all pro receivers, and a defense that included multiple all pro players like Dwight Freeny and that safety whose name escapes me.

            A bad team with a great QB can get hot and win a couple of playoff games. But no bad team wins 14+ games the way the Colts did, I don’t care how good the QB is.

          2. I have to agree. Manning is probably the best QB since Marino. The Colts were not good when he started, and they only had a decent defense for a short time.

            I say this as someone who attended a rival school and would love to say he was total shit. Which he was against UF–0 and 4, bitch.

            1. John

              I remember his senior year in the Orange Bowl. Tom Osborne’s last game. The media hyped it as this really tough matchup and how great Manning was. Ah, 42-17 in a rout. It was beautiful.

            2. Auric Demonocles

              Pro lib, that isn’t true.

              From 02-09 their defense was in the top 10 5/8 years, and one of the years it wasn’t Sanders came back for the playoffs and the defense dragged Manning to a Super Bowl victory.

              1. You’re leaving out years of his career to give me a 5/8 figure?

                Manning hate is damaging your mind. Is this a Brady thing? Because Manning is a better QB, and I don’t give a fuck about titles. Because Marino is the best I’ve seen, and he’s got jack.

              2. Libertymike

                Being a New Englander and a contrarian, I love the Brady / Manning debate.

                For one, I give John credit for not letting his dislike of Brady and the Pats cloud his observations and presentation.

                However, let me offer the following in defense of Manning:

                (1) In their only close, tight playoff contest (2006 AFC championship game), it was Manning, not Brady, who engineered a long (80 yards) touchdown drive to win the game in the final minutes. He came out on top, not Brady, in arguably, the best playoff game of all time.

                (2) Manning overcame a 21-3 deficit to win the 2006 AFC championship game. Tom Brady has never overcome such a deficit in a playoff game.

                (3) Manning is the king of 4th quarter comebacks. Sure, Brady is terrific, but he does not have as many 4th quarter comebacks nor as many 4th quarter or OT game winning drives.

                (4) Tom Brady has never overcome a 20 point deficit with 5 minutes to go in a game like Manning did, on Monday night, October 6, 2003 at the home of the defending super bowl champions, the Tampa Bay Bucs. The Bucs had one of the greatest defenses of all time.

                1. I was at that Bucs game. He was amazing, but it should be noted that that all happened when the Bucs lost a CB and had to throw in a rookie (who later became pretty good). Manning only needed that chink in the armor, though, and the Bucs deadly pass rush was neutralized by his quick release to receivers breezing by our rookie.

                2. John

                  The 3006 AFC Championship game is Mannings one great playoff game as a pro. And it was a great game. But he went on to have a terrible Super Bowl where he almost let Rex Grossman and a terrible Bears team beat him. And in his whole career, he has one great playoff game. Contrast that to the number of great games Montana, Elway, Aikman, and Brady have had. It is not even close. As great as Manning’s 06 game was, watch what Montana did to a great Bears defense in the 88 playoffs sometime. Or watch Aikman destroy the 49ers in two straight NFC Championships. Manning’s resume is just lacking once you start comparing him to the all time greats.

                  1. Libertymike

                    John, Manning has had other great playoff games.

                    Are you forgetting the great games against the Broncos and Chiefs in 2003? Those were spectacular!

                    In the 2003 AFC championship game, the Patriots were fortunate that the refs allowed them to push, grab, hold and interfere. Of course, Patriot fans will respond boo-hoo. You will recall that the league, in the off-season, issued an edict that the refs were to pay attention to that stuff. Contrary to the myth, the rules did not change; rather, it was the league ordering the officials to do the right thing.

                    Even in the divisional playoff game with the Ravens the week before the AFC championship game with the Pats, Manning completed a third and 12 or 13, in the fourth quarter, to keep a drive alive with the Colts up 6. Ray Lewis still marvels at the pass Manning threw to convert the third down play.

                    Check out the 4th quarter comebacks and 4th quarter or OT game winning drive numbers between Aikman and Manning. Peyton just crushes Aikman.

                    1. John

                      The Chiefs had the worst defense in the league in 03. They had a great offense but no defense. And how did all that work out when he went to NE in 03? Not so well even thought the Patriots as you point out got away with murder.

                      And 4th Quarter comebacks are overrated. To have a come back you have to fall behind. Aikman’s teams were so good he never fell behind very much to have the chance for a come back.

                      Be honest, Aikman was one of the most dependable and accurate QBs in history and he won three Super Bowls beating a HOF QB and a great team to get out of the NFC each time. If you had to start a QB in a playoff game to save your life, you would take Manning over Aikman? I sure would take Aikman.

                    2. Aikman? Um, no.

                    3. Irish

                      Aikman doesn’t even belong in a discussion with Peyton Manning. Aikman’s teams were dominant because those were some of the best put together teams in NFL history, not because Aikman was a stupendous quarterback.

                      Aikman never threw for more than 3500 yards.

                      I realize it’s a different era, but his stats are really not that impressive. He had one year where he had an absolutely monster completion percentage at almost 70%, but there are an awful lot of years in Aikman’s career where his completion percentage was sub-60.

                      Aikman was a product of dominant cowboy teams with one of the best receivers ever, one of the best running backs ever, and defenses that were better than anything Manning ever had.

                    4. I couldn’t believe it when Minnesota gave Dallas all that. That’s what did it. Not Johnson, not the stupid owner, Minnesota.

                      Emmitt Smith was a great back. He’s oddly under-appreciated for the all-time leading rusher.

                    5. Libertymike

                      To save my life?

                      Aikman, with his team? If so, then yes. You can’t forget about that offensive line, it was one of the best of all time. Better than any of the O-lines which Manning has had.

                      How about the targets? If you were picking, would you rather have Emmit Smith, Michael Irvin, Jay Novachek, Alvin Harper, Moose Johnston et al or Edgrin James, Marvin Harrison, Reggies Wayne, Dallas Clark et al?

                      But, there is no question that Aikman delivered the goods in the championship games and the SBs. To borrow from Stuart Scott, Aikman was the personification of, “cool as the other side of the pillow.”

                      As for the comebacks, we will have to disagree, at least as far as what they demonstrate. Don’t you think that the 4th quarter comebacks show that a quarterback has resiliency? That he does not give up? That in order to effect the comeback, that the QB must be clutch? Remember, its late in the game, when things are tighter, more tense, etc.

                      Yes, Manning has pooped all over himself in some playoff games. There is no denying that.

                    6. Libertymike

                      Let’s not forget the infamous 4th and two game in November of 2009? Do you remember the game?

                      The Pats led 31-14, early in the fourth quarter. Manning pulled out the game with a terrific fourth quarter.

                      You might recall that the Pats had a 4th and two at their 28, with under two minutes to play. Bellichek decided to go for it and Brady could not get the first down.

                      IMO, Manning was in the mind of the hoodie and that is why Bellichek opted to go for it.

          3. Red Rocks Rockin

            Manning has always had terrible teams around him. They tanked the season and got the first pick in the draft the one time he was out.

            FTFY

        3. I’m pretty sure Brad Johnson has the same number of playoff and Super Bowl victories as Peyton Manning. Everyone needs to put that in their “greatest ever” pipe and smoke it.

          1. And he threw a TD pass. . .to himself.

            I think Brad is one of the more underrated QBs over the last twenty years.

            1. hamilton

              I still consider watching that TD pass live on TV one of the greatest football moments in my life just because of the coolness of it. “Did… did he just throw a TD to HIMSELF?”

              1. I’ve seen it–actually, I’ve done it–in games out in the front yard with a few people playing, but to see it in an NFL game boggles the imagination.

            2. Curse of being a Bucs QB.

              1. No, it’s not that. Even in Minnesota, where he had some stellar stats, he didn’t get the love. Ditto in Washington. I recall vividly touting him as someone the Bucs should get and hearing, “Not himmmm.”

                Gruden fucked up letting him go when he did.

                1. Libertymike

                  So, you were in attendance for that great Monday night game between the Bucs and the Colts. Lucky you.

                  That night, the Red Sox were in a playoff game and I pissed my wife off by constantly clicking back to the Colts-Bucs tilt.

                  1. Of course, from my perspective, that game sucked.

                    I also was at a crazy sandlot game–also Monday (or maybe Sunday, I forget) Night–between the Bucs and St. Louis.

    4. I think the Broncos will win.

    5. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

      I’m taking the Broncos. Super Bowl hangover, subpar defense for the Ravens and Peyton Manning having a major chip on his shoulder this season.

      1. Frankly, I think the Broncos were a better team than the Ravens last year. They just ran out of gas.

        1. Brandon

          The Baltimore-native ref crew helped, too.

    6. Detroit will be this years surprise team and go 12-4.

      Cincy will be the AFC upstart team.

      One of them to the SB.

      1. Brandon

        Your picks are consistent with your politics.

      2. everyone

        Unfortunately, Shrike is far less knowledgeable on his sports predictions. But, we all can agree to disagree.

        Palin’s Buttplug| 9.2.13 @ 5:57PM |#

        If everyone agreed with me I would quit posting.

      3. Apatheist ?_??

        The Cincy prediction isn’t exactly controversial.

        1. Sorry, but I’ve heard that story before. They’ll be decent, but no Super Bowl.

          1. Apatheist ?_??

            I agree but he just said they would be an upstart team. I bet they make it farther in the playoffs than the last two years and lose to my Texans again.

        2. Brandon

          Cincy doesn’t make the playoffs this year.

          1. John

            Maybe I got sucked in by Hard Knocks. But I bet they are good. NE and Baltimore are old. Manning will spit the bit like he always does in the playoffs. That leaves Cincinnati or Houston. And I believe in Andy Dalton more than I believe in Matt Shaub. Cincinnati isn’t a bad pick.

          2. I think they might, but I’m dubious about them going very far.

        3. C. Anacreon

          It will look pretty dumb when Cincy gets slaughtered by the Chicago Bears this Sunday.

    7. PapayaSF

      Wait, so Chelsea Manning is in the NFL now?

  28. The Late P Brooks

    a youth soccer group in Midlake, Ontario, is eliminating soccer balls from their games and forcing kids to pretend they’re kicking a ball around.

    “GOOOOOOOOAL!”

    “Nuh-uh! I made an AWESOME SAVE.!”

    *debate rapidly devolves into fisticuffs*

    1. CE

      Wow, I think I just wrote that above, before reading this.

  29. hamilton

    Japan has an even faster maglev train – 310 MPH.

    Amtrak’s Acela takes about 3 hours and 40 minutes to go about 210 miles. A trip from Boston to New York on maglev would take under an hour.

    …and just think of how great it would be as an LA to Sacramento line!

    1. Except for all the stops.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    Authors Arindrajit Dube of the University of Massachusetts and Oeindrila Dube and Omar Garcia-Ponce of NYU looked at whether violence increased more in areas of Mexico near border states that were selling these weapons.

    I’ll put this in the grasping at straws” file.

  31. The Immaculate Trouser

    Rachel Maddow (who is in favor of the war in Syria) to Iraq War architects on TV: ‘Your opinion is no longer required on matters of war and peace’:

    “None of that was true,” Maddow explained. “None of it. Saddam Hussein didn’t have weapons of mass destruction, al Qaeda hated him and his regime. Saddam in no way posed a clear and present threat to the United States.”

    Can’t quite put my finger on why the above sounds so familiar to me… could have something to do with a certain other Ba’athist regime that’s been in the news lately.

    1. John

      And all of the things that she now conveniently pretends were Bush lies were believed by Clinton and Gore before that.

      Bush lied!! and Iraq is all they have left. She can’t defend Syria or make any kind of rational case to go there or why it is in anyway a legal war. So she screams about Iraq hoping no one will notice.

      1. The Immaculate Trouser

        It’s a bit rich, considering that Hillary Clinton (former SoS), John Kerry (current SoS), Joe Biden (current VP), and pretty much anyone in a decisionmaking position on foreign policy in the Obama administration either voted for or supported the war in Iraq in some capacity.

      2. Bush had to retract a few lies – most notably the “yellowcake” lie in the State of the Union that Joe Wilson pounced on in the NY Times. Which then led to wife Valerie Plame being outed as a covert WMD expert.

        1. John

          And here comes our retarded sock puppet to shreek and throw shit and prove my point.

          But BOOSHH!! is all they have left. Pathetic.

        2. C. Anacreon

          Joe Wilson was a self-important joke who was basically a know-nothing nobody, that the left glommed onto like they did with Sandra Fluke, because he was anti-Bush. Valerie Plame never had to be “outed”, she was already doing popular media stories about how she was an International Woman of Intrigue when this Fake Scandal(R) came out.

        3. everyone

          Shrike has never made more sense.

          Palin’s Buttplug| 9.2.13 @ 5:57PM |#

          If everyone agreed with me I would quit posting.

  32. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

    Spanish man gets five years for biting off part of his wife’s clitoris during oral sex

    A husband who bit off part of his wife’s clitoris during sex has been jailed for five years.
    Edwin Osiris C.R. was found guilty of assaulting his wife of 12 years at their home in L’Hospitalet de Llobregat, Spain, on Mar. 6, 2012.
    The Court of Barcelona heard how Osiris ? married to the woman for 12 years and with whom he has two children ? sunk his teeth into her genitals.
    Despite her blood-curdling screams, he tore out part of her clitoris and one of her labia, and spat them out onto the floor.
    He fled the home shortly after the attack and tried to leave the country, but was tracked down by Catalonia’s Mossos police in the town of Lleida 22 days later.
    A judge acquitted him of sexual assault after it could not be proved that the sex was not consensual.

    Oh my.

    1. Troy muy grande boner

      Imagine if the clitoris had bitten him. And then they had to do a line up. Wouldn’t that be cool?

  33. Eduard van Haalen

    “House Republicans are looking to use the potential for war in Syria to try to undo the sequestration cuts to the military budget.”

    I was going to say “the Republicans blow an uncertain trumpet,” but then I realized the final three words were unnecessary.

  34. Congratulations, Stanislas Wawrinka!

  35. This is hipster.

    1. You know one of the things that sucks about the last couple of decades? Stupid trends seem to have developed very long durations. I mean, the Pet Rock was here, then it wasn’t. It didn’t last for decades.

      I’m not sure what’s to blame for this. The Internet? Probably.

      1. John

        More than that, it is the total lack of creativity. Punk started 30 years ago. It is older now than zuit suits were when it started. And still, these clowns wear their Chuck Taylors and their body piercings and their fucking punk hair cuts like it is some kind of new statement or something.

        Everything in society is just recycled crap. Every form of popular art and fashion is dead or dying. What a fucking boring time to be alive.

        1. It’s weird. Like urban fashion. The whole prison chic thing of oversize pants with no belt sagging on your ass and an oversize shirt is nearly 25 years old. Twenty-five years before that is 1965. Its strange how much fashion has ossified since cable became ubiquitous.

          1. John

            Hip Hop hasn’t done anything interesting since the early 1990s. That was 20+ years ago that gangster rap and NWA and the whole LA/East Coast thing happened. And fuck wads like Jay Z are still doing the same kind of shit.

            1. Thank God Disco came and went before this hyper-extension-of-fads period.

          2. I know, I’ve thought that about that very fad. That long? Really? It was stupid to begin with.

            I’ve got to say that the evidence is pretty overwhelming that, on a collective level, we’ve gotten remarkably stupid. Sure, some of us aren’t, but that’s a dwindling minority.

          3. PapayaSF

            This is all true. It’s weird to go to the Haight and see kids dressed like punks and hippies. That’s their parent’s generation, if not their grandparents.

            The other day I saw a young hipster wearing a M*A*S*H t-shirt, and realized the last episode aired 30 years ago, before he was born.

            1. John

              I don’t want to sound like an old man. In fact, just the opposite. Invent something of your own. We have to stop recycling culture.

              1. Goldwin Smith

                We have to stop recycling culture.

                Well to be pedantic you can’t avoid that.

                Another example is the popularity of TV and movie series. Star Trek is 47 years old this year and 47 years from 1966 was….1919.

                1. Invisible Finger

                  Not that it’s a great observation, but blues music from the 20’s was popular around 1966 and some guys like Clapton even credited the original songwriters.

                  1. Bill Dalasio

                    Little bit of a distinction, though, isn’t there. The turn to blues wasn’t just a recycling of popularity. It was an evolution from the rise of rock-and-roll.

                2. I think the issue is how much recycling is going on today, not that it’s happening at all. I agree with that criticism–we’re living in a very highly derivative phase. I’m sure it’ll pass, but it’s not pretty.

      2. Tejicano

        “this speed metal is just warmed over hendrix riffs played twice as fast and half as well”

  36. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

    Study: The more older brothers you have, the more likely a person is to be gay

    Scientists say the results of the study prove the impact of nature over nurture on male sexuality.
    The increased chance of being gay is believed to occur because women mount an immune response when pregnant with a boy, which attacks part of the foetus’ brain linked to sexual orientation. This immune response increases with every male child.
    Researchers collected data from almost 1,000 men, including some who had been adopted or brought up with stepbrothers and stepsisters.
    They found having stepbrothers did not have an impact on sexual orientation, but having biological brothers did ? even if they were brought up separately.

    I’ve always wondered if they conclusively proved that being gay was genetic what the reaction would be if someone found a medical way to change that in utero.

    1. jesse.in.mb

      Ha, I’m the eldest child. Suck it birth order genesis of homosexuality.

      I’ve always wondered if they conclusively proved that being gay was genetic what the reaction would be if someone found a medical way to change that in utero.

      It was alleged that they were already working on that.

      I doubt they’ll find a pure genetic cause. Right now everyone’s looking at epi-genetic markers and uterine hormone levels.

      1. Apatheist ?_??

        Almost nothing is purely genetic but almost everything is influence by genetics. The people on each side who proclaim it to be completely one way or the other are pretty silly. Besides, just because there are environmental factors doesn’t mean it is a choice.

        1. jesse.in.mb

          Oh, I wasn’t trying to imply that there was no genetics involved. I was just commenting on ASM’s “conclusively proved that being gay was genetic.” It sounded like it implied pure genetic determinism, but he clarifies below.

          1. Apatheist ?_??

            I wasn’t accusing you, just commenting on the whole debate.

      2. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

        I don’t mean a pure genetic cause, but suppose they could alter the development of the fetus’ brain to make homosexual orientation less likely? I don’t think that would go over well with the Right-Thinking People.

        I’m no biologist, so pardon my ignorance in these matters, but I just find the prospect of selecting traits fascinating because of the ethical issues.

      3. John

        The thing about the genetic argument is that there are otherwise striaght people who end up in prison or on ships where they only have access to the same sex and for a time become gay in that they have relationships and sex with the same sex because that is the only outlet available. But then they go back to being straight when they have access to the opposite sex again.

        I don’t see how you square the genetic argument with that.

        1. The Immaculate Trouser

          There are also several cultures where homosexual intercourse is used as a liminal experience, or otherwise encouraged in certain aspects of human development for the general population. In many Greek cities, being either “fully” gay or straight would have been seen as a sign of an immoderate and unbalanced lifestyle.

          Humans will fuck just about anything, unless it’s otherwise socially prescribed.

          1. John

            Greek men never had a problem with gay sex. Were they all genetic queers? In our society women tend to be more comfortable with homosexuality than men. And that has to do with cultural mores more than anything else.

  37. The Immaculate Trouser

    It’s another day that ends in “y”, and that means that Amanda has another scrap of stupidity to treat us to:

    Fox News, ever on the lookout for new opportunities to top itself in the art of mind-boggling cruelty, had a segment on Thursday’s “Fox and Friends” where a commentator suggested that starving kids out is a legitimate strategy to teach important lessons to their parents. In response to a New Jersey school district choosing to withhold lunch from kids whose parents forgot to refill their lunch accounts, Thomas Kersting, who is alarmingly a school counselor, said, “You know, if one day a kid doesn’t have lunch, right, maybe that’s a teaching moment when that kid doesn’t have lunch. That may sound harsh saying that, but we’ve got to get people to start being responsible for themselves.”

    Back in my day, starving kids actually meant that kids were, uh, starving.

    1. The Immaculate Trouser

      Link: http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_…..oment.html

    2. The Immaculate Trouser

      Link: http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_…..oment.html

    3. John

      America 2013, where missing lunch means you are starving.

      For someone who claims to care so much about rape, Amanda sure likes to rape the English language.

    4. Irish

      Not eating for one day = starving children out.

    5. Why do we subsidize school lunch at all? I’ve never understood that. Even with today’s inflated food prices, a basic lunch is still cheap and well within the means of even our poor. Obviously, since they aren’t dropping dead of starvation.

      And the first person who says anything about nutrition clearly hasn’t seen a recent school lunch menu.

      1. The Immaculate Trouser

        It’s always puzzled me, as well.

        What’s so complicated about slapping some peanut butter on bread and putting it in your kid’s lunchbox?

        1. I mean, even granting all the welfare crap, this was one that never made sense. It’s not even legitimately arguable that kids need the subsidy to get lunch at all. That’s why they like to claim that it’s about them getting a nutritious lunch, even though that’s total bullshit. The crap my kids eat at school is often the worst food they eat all day.

          1. The Immaculate Trouser

            Some of the stuff I saw in my oldest daughter’s high school looked like it was barely digestible, much less edible.

            1. If healthy food is the justification, and it has to be, then why are there junk food and Coke machines in schools? If I wanted to control my kids’ diets, I couldn’t, because the schools offer them as much bad food as they can possibly consume.

              It’s hard not to get paranoid and think this is all intentional for some bizarre reason I couldn’t possibly fathom.

      2. So our boys grow up big enough to pass the Army physical. I’m pretty sure that’s where it started in the Wilson era. Too many underweight recruits.

        1. You’re probably right. Ye gods.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            It’s more to do with the USDA and having to do something with those crops the Feds buy with all that sweet sweet farm subsidy money.

            But I’m sure there always was an undercurrent of Wilsonian Fascism.

    6. paranoid android

      So every parent who ever threatened to send a kid to their room without dinner is a child-starving monster, then?

    7. ant1sthenes

      So, I take it that Amanduh was not a big fan of Clinton and Madeline Albright, yes?

  38. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

    Legendary Dodgers broadcaster Vin Scully named Grand Marshall of the Tournament of Roses parade next year

    I think this will be the year I go see the parade in person.

  39. Soi disant “socialist” Richard Metzger failed his high school civics class:

    Unpopulated states simply do not deserve the same representation as the ones where most people live. It’s bullshit. It gives way, way too much influence to places where a close election can be won by a nutcase if the GOP can manage to bus 300 extra octogenarians to voting booths.

    1. Fine. Then secede and form your own country.

    2. John

      But I bet he is totally okay with giving DC statehood and the accompanying two Senators. I would respect these fucks more if they would just drop the mask and be honest about their desire for a totalitarian dictatorship.

    3. Irish

      It’s almost like that was meant to be some kind of check on majority power and a protection of minority political rights.

      What’s especially funny about this is that the GOP actually controls the House, not the Senate. So his complaint is moronic since the house of Congress which isn’t based on equal representation is the one controlled by the Republicans.

      1. Given the House and the GOP control of many of the states, I think the old adage that Americans tend to be slightly conservative still holds true. The left has delusions of 310 million rabid fans for them, and maybe one million deluded Confederates against them.

        1. Irish

          I think that the Republicans would be the ascendant political party were it not for left-wing identity politics. The left will just rant and rave about racism and WAR ON WOMEN! but an awful lot of those people would not vote Democrat if they actually voted based on reason instead of left-wing propaganda.

          1. PapayaSF

            Based on my Facebook feed, vast numbers of people vote Democrat because of all the nutty Christian preachers who say stupid things.

            1. So bizarre how far that meme travels. The hardcore Christian element is a minority in the GOP. Not even a big minority. Yes, they are influential enough to get some lip service, but they get very little that’s tangible when it comes to lawmaking and enforcement.

              It’s like the regular bit about how the GOP-dominated SCOTUS is going to repeal Roe. Oh, really? How many decades is it now that the right has controlled the Court?

              1. John

                And how the SOCONS run the GOP. Really? So they run the GOP but the nominee is never a SOCON out of kindness I guess?

                1. The Immaculate Trouser

                  The Socons rarely get their policies implemented, are snubbed by the party elite, and haven’t had a Socon Presidential candidate… ever. Reagan is a hero to them simply for not hating them and being anti-abortion. Yet, they run the party.

                  Yup.

                  1. It’s an obvious use of a fictional boogeyman. Look at how often shrike, for instance, conflates the religious conservatives with the entire party.

                    Whoever described Democratic voters as useful idiots was spot-on. It’s true of any partisan, of course, but they seem extra willing to ditch reality for whatever is fed to them.

        2. John

          If you awarded electoral votes based on house districts won, wouldn’t Romney be President right now?

          1. Irish

            Yes. The whole argument’s bizarre because his argument is against the way that representation in the SENATE occurs, but the Republicans don’t control the Senate.

          2. But Democrats easily won the most House votes in 2012.

            Not seats – votes.

            The GOP gerrymandering skills are exceptional.

            1. John

              That doesn’t mean anything you half wit. Any system where you award seats based on districts can produce that result.

            2. everyone

              Agreed. And people say Shrike never compliments the GOP.

              Palin’s Buttplug| 9.2.13 @ 5:57PM |#

              If everyone agreed with me I would quit posting.

            3. C. Anacreon

              Take a look at how the Dems gerrymandered California before you embarrass yourself any more.

    4. It gives way, way too much influence to places where a close election can be won by a nutcase if the GOP can manage to bus 300 extra octogenarians to voting booths.

      But just the right influence if the Dems can bus 300 extra black people to voting booths, amirite?

      1. It’s projection again, of course. Interesting that most cases of voter fraud involve the Democrats, isn’t it?

  40. hamilton

    Arise, Libertarian engineers, and retake the Internet!

    1. Huh. The next revolution is happening in cyberspace, then?

  41. hamilton

    From Scientific American: The poor need help because they are “cognitively challenged”.

    Almost lost my lunch reading this, the condescension is so thick.

    1. Damned Fool

      Wannabe good shepherds don’t view the sheep as equals.

    2. Ah, another leftwing unmasking. It’s really amazing how much this has been happening in the last decade.

      1. hamilton

        No so much of an unmasking unfortunately. One of my Facebook friends posted this along with a snide comment on the order of “see? this is why a activist government is needed and this stupid libertarian trend is going to die”.

        1. The Immaculate Trouser

          Take up the White Man’s burden–
          Send forth the best ye breed–
          Go bind your sons to exile
          To serve your captives’ need;
          To wait in heavy harness,
          On fluttered folk and wild–
          Your new-caught, sullen peoples,
          Half-devil and half-child.

          1. C. Anacreon

            The best of all the many character names in the National Lampoon 1963 High School Yearbook Parody (which ended up being some of the basis of Animal House) was from this poem.

            It was their high school social studies teacher, Mr. Dwight Mannsburden.

        2. Even if it were true, who am I–or these fucking elitist morons–to make decisions for them about their lives?

        3. PapayaSF

          So the government subsidizes poverty, and subsidizes single-motherhood which increases the number of the poor, and therefor the solution to poverty is… more government!

          1. The Immaculate Trouser

            Clearly, these Aristotlean geniuses can do no wrong.

            It is reminiscent of the Bolshevik response to the failures of their schemes: either kulaks and wreckers are ruining it for the rest, or the proles haven’t attained the higher consciousness required to manage their own fortunes responsibly.

            1. It’s such a dangerous path, too. Did the last century teach us nothing?

    3. The Immaculate Trouser

      Didn’t Steve Sailor rightly get excoriated for suggesting something similar wrt blacks during Hurricane Katrina?

      Can we expect similar treatment for this author?

      1. Sidd Finch

        Sailer said that blacks tend to have worse judgement so New Orleans would be worse for them than better educated groups.

        1. The Immaculate Trouser

          As I recall, he also said that “we” needed to have paternalistic programs in place to compensate for their supposed genetic deficiency in judgement.

          1. Sidd Finch

            Here’s the article. I don’t see any policy suggestions but there’s enough anti-PC to make Pat Buchannan blush.

            1. Irish

              In contrast to New Orleans, there was only minimal looting after the horrendous 1995 earthquake in Kobe, Japan?because, when you get down to it, Japanese aren’t blacks. For example, the per capita imprisonment rate for Asian-Americans is about 1/30th that of African-Americans.

              WHAT THE FUCK! Is Steve Sailer American?

            2. The Immaculate Trouser

              The plain fact is that they tend to possess poorer native judgment than members of better-educated groups. Thus they need stricter moral guidance from society.

              In an article which begins and ends excoriating the Bush administration for poor policy, I’m not sure how to interpret that other than that the author believes that “we” need to patronize blacks as a matter of public policy.

              1. Sidd Finch

                However you want to interpret it, the “poorer native judgement” line is what he was “excoraited” for.

                1. The Immaculate Trouser

                  I only remembered it because Tyler Cowen blogged about it on Marginal Revolution, offering his opinions on whether or not it would be a good idea as a matter of public policy to differentiate based on race.

    4. paranoid android

      And while the study does not mention this, I was reminded of other experiments demonstrating the positive effects of sugar boosts on decision-making capacity; thus, one solution could simply involve giving poor people access to cheap, sugar-rich foods like gummy bears while they are making difficult decisions.

      Aw, who’s a good poor people? You want a treat, boy? Gotta enroll yourself in this 401(k) first!

    5. Anonymous Coward

      The results were illuminating. While the performance of both the rich and the poor shoppers was almost the same based on the “easy” challenge, it was markedly different when preceded by the “hard” challenge. The implications are clear; the harder the economic decision (in terms of amount of money involved) the participants faced, the more they depleted their cognitive powers and the poorer they did on the tests. In keeping with this trend, people making six figure salaries will likely deplete even lesser cognitive resources.

      Poor people are stupid because they have less money. So if government makes sure that everyone has equal incomes, everyone will have the same “cognitive resources.”

      Fucking brilliant!

    6. ant1sthenes

      Wait… we don’t actually disagree, right? I mean, I think a lot of people here agree that the poor are often more foolish than the general public, though of course we see the causation as running the other way.

      1. Irish

        Yes, but our response is to treat them like adults. The response of the left is to treat them like children.

        The left is basically neo-imperialist and really does believe that it is the white man’s burden to help the benighted negro. It’s disgusting.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Note to the Left: Where’s my fucking 20 acres and a donkey?!?

          1. The Immaculate Trouser

            Complaining about the land, I can understand. As for the jackasses, wasn’t John Kerry enough for you?!

            1. Heroic Mulatto

              His head is rather burro-like.

          2. Irish

            Hey, HM. Want to see a horrible and condescending political cartoon?

            Here it is!

            Don’t you guys see? All the white person needs to do is reach down and help the black person, but he won’t because he is mean! Also, all white people are at fault for slavery, there are no unintended consequences to government action, and the problems in modern inner cities are the fault of white people not ‘caring enough’ as opposed to bad government. I am at fault for my grandparents’ racism and must therefore be punished.

            Truly, it is the white man’s burden.

            1. Heroic Mulatto

              Also, clearly, I need to stop squatting and do some more pull-ups.

            2. The Immaculate Trouser

              Missing from the cartoon:

              The Irish guy who wasn’t anywhere near the ledge when the “white” guy forced the black guy to get him up there.

              The Asian and Jewish guys who climbed up to an even higher ledge than the white guy, despite the white guy throwing rocks at him.

              That said, T Sowell makes a great point in his other books that blacks started from a *much* lower base than Irish immigrants, in terms of opportunities available and skills learned in their lifetimes as slaves. According to him, the only immigrant groups to the US that were staggeringly successful were some Asiatic communities and Jews; blacks and Irish had a similar achievement delta but different initial conditions.

          3. Yeah, I was going to point out that blacks got the donkey. Which they should send back for the land.

          4. ant1sthenes

            The government has an abundance of both land and jackasses. Since we are all the government, you have received far more than 20 acres and a mule.

      2. ant1sthenes

        That said, the study is a fucking joke. I’m not knocking willpower depletion as a theory, but the idea that only poor people face stressful choices is unproven.

  42. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

    South Carolina man who has spent the last year walking the streets with a sandwich sign soliciting a kidney donation for his dying wife find a willing donor and a match

    For the past year, Larry Swilling has been walking the streets of Anderson, S.C., with a sandwich-board sign saying: “NEED KIDNEY 4 WIFE.”
    The same message was plastered on his pickup truck, and it has been his constant refrain. Swilling’s beloved wife, Jimmie Sue Swilling, was born with one kidney, and it is failing. Without a new one, she could die.
    Swilling took to the streets with faith that he could help his wife’s chances. She is on a donor list, and Swilling himself is not a match, but as the story spread across the country, dozens of people contacted the couple hoping they could be tested for a donation, or at least make a financial contribution to the cause.
    Finally, it appears, the Swillings’ wait is over.
    The Medical University of South Carolina has told the Swillings it has found a match. While the couple doesn’t know exactly who the donor is, they say they believe it must be someone familiar with their story.

    Awesome.

  43. Francisco d Anconia

    Wait, I thought there were no libertarian wimmenz?

    1. Eduard van Haalen

      They just want to go to libertarian conferences and meet engineers to marry.

      1. Eduard van Haalen

        Oops, my inner sexist just slipped its leash. Come back here!

        1. This is why there are no female libertarians!

  44. Sidd Finch

    http://legalinsurrection.com/2…..community/

    Since the 1970s Oberlin College, one of the most liberal colleges in the nation, has maintained a secret “No Trespass” list which barred members of the community from campus, usually without telling them they were on the list .

    The secret list stood in contrast to the college’s emphasis on its mission page to a “commitment to social engagement and diversity,” and the loud demands for diversity voiced after the racism hoax last February and March. Apparently that diversity did not include townies.

    1. Eduard van Haalen

      The only reason a secret list would be a problem is that I don’t see how you can arrest someone on the list just for being found on campus. Unless there’s a posted NO TRESPASSING sign, I don’t see how you can be arrested unless you’re specifically warned off and return/refuse to leave.

      But I don’t see a due process right – it’s private property and the owner can decide which outsiders (absent a contract relationship) they want to allow on the property.

      1. Eduard van Haalen

        Now, I have a library card at a university library, so I suppose there’s an argument I have a contract right to access the campus in order to use the library. But I imagine that if I ran around naked, they could strip me of my privileges. Maybe some due process would be required. But I’m not interested in testing it.

    2. John

      Why would you keep the list secret? It is private property. They can ban anyone they like. Does the list only include black people? Is there something illegal about it that would make Oberlain want to keep it a secret?

      1. PapayaSF

        Perhaps the list is not racially balanced.

        1. John

          That is what I am guessing. I bet the list is almost entirely minority.

    3. Anonymous Coward

      A place of pure thought and academic enlightenment like Oberlin shouldn’t have to suffer uncouth, townie filth.

      Back to the fields, peasants!

  45. NIN closed the night with a slow and smoky cover of Johnny Cash’s “Hurt,” which earned nonstop cheers from the crowd.

    This makes me want to go on a rampage.

    1. John

      It is not a cover when you wrote the fucking song. Cash covered Rezner not the other way around.

      1. Eduard van Haalen

        Heh heh…”Johnny Cash’s Hurt” – priceless!

      2. “Stevie Wonder closed the show with a funky cover of SRV’s ‘Superstitious'”. Yeah. Fuck.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          WHAT?

    2. Eduard van Haalen

      This is either Johnny Cash’s cover of “For Whom the Bell Tolls,” or Rick Astley. Do you feel lucky?

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

    3. Thane of the Candy Kingdom

      In their defense, Cash’s version is pretty darn good.

  46. Eduard van Haalen

    Oh, God, NPR is really trying to avoid typecasting – not!

    They’re doing a story on kale. It seems that eating kale is a way of saying you “care about food, nutrition and farming. It’s almost political.” Almost? But some guy who wrote *Fifty Shades of Kale* is worried that Kale is becoming mainstream and losing its “cool factor.”

    You can add flavor to kale with some oregano, salt, pepper, some kind of cheese, blah blah. “Oh my gosh I forgot the toasted bread crumbs!”

    Without the bread crumbs, how can you achieve social justice for the migrant workers?

    1. The Immaculate Trouser

      Are we sure that kale isn’t some commie plot to destroy America, somehow?

      I’m not saying it is, but we shouldn’t rule out the possibility.

    2. Kale is fucking garnish. It’s like making a meal out of parsley.

      1. My wife makes some kale dish (we get a share in some local farmers’ thingee and get kale once in a while) that I like.

      2. jesse.in.mb

        Why do you hate tabbouleh, Brett?

    3. John

      I don’t understand how bitter lettuce can become a fashion statement much less a political one. People really are pathetic and desperate aren’t they? I mean if you are finding your meaning in life through the contents of your salad, you really need to do some serious self examination.

      1. It’s all about class distinction. Find things that allow you to separate yourself from hoi polloi.

    4. Sidd Finch

      WTF is kale?

      1. It’s Superman’s real name: Kale-Ale.

        1. The Immaculate Trouser

          This is true, but only in the Superman: Red Son continuity.

          …which brings us full circle to kale clearly being a communist plot.

          1. Son of Jarred-Ale.

      2. Heroic Mulatto

        Kale is gentrified collard greens.

        1. Which, incidentally, I fucking love. If properly made, that is.

          1. Sidd Finch

            Any woman (or man NTTAWT) who can’t execute “put in boiling water with ham hock, spices, and hot sauce” is not marriage material.

  47. Eduard van Haalen

    Pope Francis writes to Vladimir Putin, in his capacity as president of the group of 20 top economic powers:

    “…Unfortunately, the many armed conflicts which continue to afflict the world today present us daily with dramatic images of misery, hunger, illness and death. Without peace, there can be no form of economic development. Violence never begets peace, the necessary condition for development.

    “…It is regrettable that, from the very beginning of the conflict in Syria, one-sided interests have prevailed and in fact hindered the search for a solution that would have avoided the senseless massacre now unfolding. The leaders of the G20 cannot remain indifferent to the dramatic situation of the beloved Syrian people which has lasted far too long, and even risks bringing greater suffering to a region bitterly tested by strife and needful of peace. To the leaders present, to each and every one, I make a heartfelt appeal for them to help find ways to overcome the conflicting positions and to lay aside the futile pursuit of a military solution….”

    http://www.vatican.va/holy_fat…..20_en.html

    1. The Immaculate Trouser

      Hey Francis, why don’t you go get a job, you godless peacenik hippie!

    2. paranoid android

      I haven’t read the whole letter yet, but based on this excerpt, it sounds like Francis’s solution is to have the G20 leaders run around Syria sticking daisies in everyone’s rifle barrels.

      Is he really this naive?

      1. Eduard van Haalen

        I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that he’s sent the letter to Putin, a key stakeholder. And I note that there’s an English translation of the letter on the Web site (the other translation is Italian), and that he makes a specific appeal to “[t]he leaders of the G20” – does he have any particular country in mind, I wonder?

      2. Eduard van Haalen

        “All men and women of good will are bound by the task of pursuing peace. I make a forceful and urgent call to the entire Catholic Church, and also to every Christian of other confessions, as well as to followers of every religion and to those brothers and sisters who do not believe: peace is a good which overcomes every barrier, because it belongs all of humanity!…

        “To this end, brothers and sisters, I have decided to proclaim for the whole Church on 7 September next, the vigil of the birth of Mary, Queen of Peace, a day of fasting and prayer for peace in Syria, the Middle East, and throughout the world, and I also invite each person, including our fellow Christians, followers of other religions and all men of good will, to participate, in whatever way they can, in this initiative….

        “Let us ask Mary to help us to respond to violence, to conflict and to war, with the power of dialogue, reconciliation and love.”

        http://www.vatican.va/holy_fat…..01_en.html

  48. Goldwin Smith

    Angela Lansbury and Steve Martin to get honorary Oscars:

    http://www.oscars.org/press/pr…..30905.html

    Oh and Jolie the Hersholt Humanitarian Award.

  49. Fatty Bolger

    The Sunken Treasures of the Arabia

    In 1987, a group of treasure hunters discovered a steamboat buried deep in a Kansas cornfield. This was the Arabia, a side-wheeler whose hull was pierced by a submerged tree on Sept. 5, 1856, near Parkville, Mo., 6 miles north of Kansas City. The ship, just three years old, had embarked from St. Louis, steaming westward on the Missouri to deliver merchandise to 16 frontier towns. The cargo included 20,000 feet of lumber, 4,000 shoes and boots, two prefab homes destined for Logan, Neb., a sawmill and fixtures, and a case of Otard Dupuy & Co. cognac.

    That meant creating a museum large enough to display the tons of rescued cargo. They consulted museum design firms; the lowest estimate was a staggering $5.5 million. The Hawleys didn’t have that kind of money, so with the help of extended family, friends and money borrowed from the bank, they built a 35,000-square-foot museum for less than half a million dollars with the can-do entrepreneurial spirit that characterizes the entire enterprise. And they did it without any state or federal support, something they are proud of.

    They did build that. Yeah, but, but… how will people get there… I bet they’ll use… ROADZZZ!!!!

    1. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc

      What about the taxes on the stuff they found? I’m sure Uncle Sam is going to demand a piece of the action.

  50. Irish

    Jesus Christ NBC. They really deep throated Obama on this one.

    The Big Chill: A dominant Obama meets a cool Putin at G20

    President Barack Obama was intent on getting the upper hand as he greeted Russia’s Vladimir Putin at the G-20 summit on Thursday, according to body language experts who watched the frosty exchange.
    From a jacket-buttoning pause to a hard-pumping handshake, Obama displayed tell-tale signs of dominance after he alit from a limo in front of St. Petersburg’s Konstantin Palace, where Putin waited to meet him, communication experts said.

    (Snip)

    He said that Putin nodded 10 times during the encounter, tilting his head down even though it would have made more sense to look up at the taller Obama.

    “Putin is intimidated by Obama, Obama is not intimidated by Putin,” Tecce said.

    Yeah, the ex-KGB agent turned Russian autocrat is intimidated by Can’tThrow McMompants. I’m sure Putin was terrified of the 30th “Uh” that came out of Obama’s mouth. Putin’s been pissing down Obama’s leg for almost a year, and NBC apparently thinks Obama has the upper hand.

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      Pravda has written more critical depictions of Putin than what I just read here.

      1. jesse.in.mb

        We need more Pravda articles posted here!

        John Kerry speaks nonsense, Russian expert said

        Senior scientific officer with the Center for Arab and Islamic Studies of the Institute of Oriental Studies, Boris Dolgov, in an interview with Pravda.Ru commented the recent statement from U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry, who said that Arab countries offered a good price for the overthrow of Bashar al-Assad as a result of military operations.

        I can’t even parse this sentence it’s so brilliant!

        1. The Immaculate Trouser

          Written by someone whose knowledge of English comes from the backs of cereal boxes, or has Amanduh found a new journalistic home?

        2. Irish

          Jesse, did you know that Pravda T.V. exists?

          Apparently, only idiots and fanatics believe in Obama’s version about Syria. The video also says “Tell me what you think about it. Pravda considers important is your opinion.”

          Indeed.

          Indeed.

          1. The Immaculate Trouser

            …is the video in English? I’ve watched it three times already, and I’m still not sure.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            did you know that Pravda T.V. exists?

            I do now, Irish. I do now.

    2. Goldwin Smith

      So tell me was the media this pro-Bush during the run-up to the Iraq War?

      Also Isn’t GE heavily in the Obama camp?

    3. The U.S. is, of course, a giant compared to Russia, by any measure you want to use. But that doesn’t matter when you’ve got a government as obviously hapless and harmless as the one we’ve got right now.

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