San Francisco Prioritizes Real Crime over Drugs, Michelle Obama Fights Obesity with Hip-Hop, Justice Dept. Wants to Block Airline Merger: P.M. Links


  • Twerking does burn a lot of calories, though.
    Sir MixaLot

    Drug arrests in San Francisco are down by 75 percent as the police there focus on serious and violent crimes. Credit budget cuts. The police department's staffing is down, so officers have been shifted away from the narcotics unit.

  • First Lady Michelle Obama is hoping to channel the power of hip-hop to fight childhood obesity in an upcoming album release. I'm guessing none of the many hip-hop or rap songs that extol the beauty of trunks with some junk in them will be making an appearance.
  • Larry Ellison, CEO of tech company Oracle, is parting ways with his peers and defending the National Security Agency's mass surveillance systems. In an interview, he actually said, "This whole issue of privacy is utterly fascinating to me. Who's ever heard of this information being misused by the government. In what way?" Of course, Oracle is a company that focuses on database management systems, so take it for what it is.
  • The Department of Justice is trying to interfere with the merger between US Airways and American Airlines for what appears to be little more reason than thinking the new company will be too big.
  • New York's attorney general is going after personal loan companies due to their high interest rates, some as high as 355 percent.
  • Zimbabwe's re-elected President Robert Mugabe is promising to finish what his party has started by continuing efforts to seize foreign and white-owned assets in the African nation.
  • Nobody at Reason was tricked by this fake story about Dog the Bounty Hunter going after Edward Snowden, and we're just sharing it with you for fun. (Shut up.)

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  1. First Lady Michelle Obama is hoping to channel the power of hip-hop to fight childhood obesity in an upcoming album release.

    “When I’m slow on the draw and I need something to chaw, I hanker for a hunk of [cottage] cheese!”

    1. I was sad to see that Darryl (“DMC”) McDaniels is contributing a track on this catastrofuck.

      You used to be cool. What happened?

      Don’t even get me started on Doug E. Fresh hanging out with Michelle. It’s an atrocity.

      1. “It’s an atrocity.”

        A real atrocity is Wookie Twerking.

      2. At least it’s rap. Not like it’s real music.

      3. “catastrofuck”

        Anyone else read that as castrofuck?

        Your recreation is “planned”…’s no coincidence that sports and amusements are carefully “planned” in all regimented nations.Once started, “planners” can’t stop.

        The Illustrated Road to Serfdom, pg.17

    2. This is going to be the best rap since The Super Bowl Shuffle.

      1. Better, because this is a whole album of gems.


    3. “The simple act of getting up and dancing is really a great way to be active.”

      Anybody who thinks physical activity is the answer to obesity doesn’t remember Rerun from What’s Happening!!

      1. “The simple act of…dancing…”

        Proof she’s never seen this white boy bust a move.

        1. The much-loved White Man’s Overbite?

          1. Add a little of Weapon Brown’s “The Jigs” and you’ve got it.

    4. From fatty foods and carbs, oh Lord, please spare us!
      Give me a plate of broccoli and asparagus!
      You think being overweight makes you dope, fool?
      Throw away those chicken wings and dig into some tofu!
      I like skinny butts, I am not lying
      And boiling is much better than frying!
      Take healthy eating to the extreme
      Eat your beets and eat your greens!

  2. The Department of Justice is trying to interfere with the merger between US Airways and American Airlines for what appears to be little more reason than thinking the new company will be too big.

    Simpler than that: for shits and giggles.

    1. Because FYTW?

      1. DING DING DING! We have a winner!

    2. No, because too many union jobs will be lost when then optimize the workforce.

  3. Berkshire Hathaway CEO and noted philanthropist, humanitarian, hero of the poor and downtrodden, and all around good guy, oversees massive layoff in Pittsburgh at Heinz, totaling 30% of its Pittsburgh work force.

    1. does this include 30% of the Steelers at Heinz Field?

      1. Rumor has it the Heinz Red Zone will be reduced from 20 yards to 14.

        1. Did the Browns tell those laid off the bad news?

    2. Anyone know where I can buy me some artisanal ketchup?

      1. I bought some “Heinz Ketchup with Balsamic vinegar”.
        Does that count?

        1. To all you barbarians. You may want to consider adding a dash of Balsamic vinegar (and please kids, make sure it’s the real stuff from Modena)to your tomato sauce. It’s a trick I use to sweeten it a little.

          My “all’amatriciana” includes mild pancetta, red onions, fresh basil and balsamic.

          1. Sweet tomato sauce? You sicken me. Why not just douse your pasta in catsup?

            1. A dash of balsamic won’t make it nearly as sweet as catsup.

            2. Dibbler, not douse – a dab. If you’re using high quality tomatoes you don’t want to overpower it.

              What’s to be sickened about? Balsamic isn’t ketchup.

              You do know what balsamic is, right?

    3. Is this revenge for his taxes not being high enough?

    4. Berkshire Hathaway CEO and noted philanthropist, humanitarian, hero of the poor and downtrodden, and all around good guy, oversees massive layoff in Pittsburgh at Heinz, totaling 30% of its Pittsburgh work force.



      Hello….tap, this thing on?

    5. He has to squeeze profits out of that ketchup bottle somehow, and he got tired of holding it upside down all day.

  4. 40 maps that explain the world:…..the-world/

    1. And just like the statistics they are built on can be used to deceive the world

      1. Well, it is the Washington Post…

      2. Statistics are like bikinis: what they reveal is enticing, but what they conceal is vital.

        1. I’ve always loved looking at statistics.

    2. 8. Where people are the most and least racially tolerant

      Can we use this map to end the race-baiting once and for all?

      1. I lived in the middle east for two years and I just cringe when I hear people declare that the US is the most racist country. Ironically, they think that remark makes them some kind of citizen of the world instead of the ignorant progtard they really are. America is, actually, shockingly tolerant compared to many countries.

        1. Living in Germany right now and one of the things that surprised me the most when I started hanging out with Germans is how casually racist they are. They’re a charasmatic leader away form tossing Greeks into ovens. While I was in Italy on business there was a story about how a black political appointee was called a monkey by a competing group. Not in a comment caught by a hot-mic, but in an intentional statement. The French treat blacks the way American liberals think Southerners treat blacks. And all of them hate the Turks.

          1. Why greeks? Why not use something tried and true? Like Jews?

            Was at a party with a bunch of very proggo germans and ‘jew jokes’ were all the rage–along with obamallatio, hatin’ the ‘right’ and all the rest of the progressive canon.

            It was kinda eerie.

            And they really HATED ‘jew jokes’ that left some ash on german hands

    3. There is no way Quebec is among the most welcoming regions in the world for foreigners. I also find it very interesting (read, suspicious) that the U.S. is middle of the road in ethnic diversity.

      1. Those maps were interesting, but I’d question their veracity.

      2. Ethnic and racial are not the same thing. A lot of African countries score really high in ethnic diversity, even though close to 100% of the population is black Sub-Saharan African racially, because there are so many different tribal groups, many with their own language, etc.

        1. Yeah I get that. But couldn’t the same thing be said for all the white americans descended from different ethnic groups in Europe?

          1. It could, though I still don’t know if the ethnic or linguistic diversity would reach the sheer numbers of some African (and other) countries. If you click the link, you’d see the study based their measurement of diversity on how people in various countries described themselves. The more likely two random people were to give different answers, the more diverse the country was. So in African countries, I take it that people are more likely to identify with their tribal group, while Americans are more likely to identify as “American,” rather than their ancestral race or ethnicity.

      3. The fact that Canada is supposedly more diverse than the US immediately jumped out at me.

        According to Wikipedia, the largest minority in the US are blacks at 12.6%. In Canada (grouping the different European origins together), the highest is Asians at 6%.

        1. Canada’s demographics are really broken down on wikipedia. Canada defines Asian as anyone from the entire continent, so that includes a lot of groups that aren’t included in the US definition. The total Asian population is 15% of Canada’s population. In the U.S., it’s about 5% (if the Canadian definition was used, it would probably be closer to about half of the Canadian percentage). In addition, Canada’s aboriginal population is 3-5% (depending on if you include mixed race) while in the U.S. it’s about 1%, closer to 2% including mixed. However, the black population of Canada is less than 3%, and the Latin American is just over 1%, compared to 12.6% and 16.3% for the U.S. Overall, white Canadians are about 76.7% of the population, while non-Hispanic white Americans are 63.7% (though if the Canadian definition was used, groups like Arabs, Persians, Berbers, Armenians, etc. would not be included, so the comparable number is even lower)

        2. As I said above, the study was based on how people self-identify, so that probably explains why Canada would be rated as more diverse

          1. I’m Gord. Some of the sheep in this Tax Farm call themselves ‘Canadians’.


          2. Canada babbles about multiculturalism but we’re not as integrated as America. Canadian racism is alive and well. We just don’t talk about it because we’re busy pointing fingers elsewhere, notably the USA. It’s nice to have a strawman so close.

            My friends and I used to use sports as a barometer to integration. Canada’s national hockey and soccer programs remained overwhelmingly white until recently. It’s been only a decade or so we’ve seen ethnic names on our soccer team which is outrageous.

            America on the other hand, you always saw the reflection of their society on the jerseys of their athletes.

            In Quebec, it’s worse. A tiny percentage (relative to population) of the non-Francophone population (specifically Anglos) work for the civil service.

            Quebec practices democratic apartheid.

      4. I think Quebec is grouped under Canada as it ought to be. But you’re correct, Quebec is only welcoming to a certain kind of immigrant – that is, those who speak French. They care more about Tunisians than Americans.

        Shit, they barely tolerate us English-speakers born here. Look at Bill 14 authored by the xenophobic jerkoffs in the PQ.

        We’re really retarded up here.

        1. They care more about Tunisians than Americans.

          In the late 70s I was working for a Quebecois boss on a bridge project in Toronto. The big selling point for me when he introduced me to the Montreal based consultant on the project was that I was an an American and not one of those filthy Anglo-Canadians and hence OK.

          As to the “welcoming of immigrants” the same thing applies to Canada as it does to Australia. Yeah, sure, they welcome immigrants who are well educated or highly skilled* who will not compete for low paying jobs.

          Australia might have abandoned the White Australia Policy in theory, but it survives in its current practice.

          *And in the case of Australia, Olympic level athletes who might win medal and are given paid passage, generous stipends and accelerated citizenship.

          1. We call it Quebec Inc.

            And I maintain my position that Canada (and Australia – my brother dated the daughter of a diplomat and had interesting things to say) – are likely more bigoted than the USA.

            The shit I hear on Quebec radio and TV would not pass a day in the USA.

            1. Wow, even on “Radio Canada”. 🙂

              The late Canadian libertarian activist* Bruce Evoy told me about how he and some colleagues went to South Africa in the mid eighties to make a documentary about the place. He claimed the CBC spiked it because they showed a beach scene in Durban where blacks and whites were swimming together in the surf apparently in total contravention of the Canadian governments official version of conditions there.

              I’m afraid that my impression of Canadian “multi-culturism” is that the government simply buys off the noisiest elements in any community with grants and any opposition is simply squashed by the way the Parliamentary system simply drowns out minority voices.

              *Yes, they really exist, or did at one time.

    4. 4. The best and worst places to be born

      Really, Canada’s Northwest Territories? Really?

    5. The United States ranks 34th out of the developed world’s 35 countries by child poverty rates, above only Romania. The United States doesn’t do much better on overall child well-being.

      And what is poverty in the US compared to poverty in Russia?

      1. I think the stats are skewed because we import lots of poor people who have lots of kids.

        1. Wonder how many American families whose children live in “poverty” own wide screen TVs and automobiles compared to people in those countries who supposedly compare more favorably.

          And as to the statistics from “Save the Children”, the only ones that count for them is percent of GDP spent on “children” (ie professional “advocacy” groups), completely ignoring the fact that given the much higher US GDP, the US spends far more on “children” than any of those countries do.

          1. Ah, that’s another issue, true.

      2. Ask Olya Povlatsky, the Russian lady on SNL whose town was hit by the meteorite. They stand in line, for entertainment. The windows have cold air in them.…

    6. Hey, Pakistan! I hate you, too. You’d get zero aid if it were up to me.

  5. “This whole issue of privacy is utterly fascinating to me. Who’s ever heard of this information being misused by the government. In what way?”

    Oracle has a lot of federal government contracts, I take it.

    1. It would be awesome if a bunch of pissed off money guys shorted the hell out of the stock.

      NOTE: I am not a professional and this is not financial advice.

      1. How long till shreeky comes along to tell us that Oracle is at an all-time super-duper high price?

        1. He’s one of us. You can’t come into the comments section and dump on a fellow commenter like that. Right, fellas?

        2. Shriek is funny. Claims to follow the markets but I want to know if he invests in it.

          The true market metrics aren’t all that healthy despite the rise – QE helps skew things. The market is addicted to government injecting cash whenever things go bad.

        3. He’s busy covering the Iowa State Fair or some stupid shit like that.

    2. Yeah. Just waiting for the check to clear for the new NSA data center.

    3. Exactly.

      “I was stunned to learn just how cheaply I could be bought off.”

    4. So much for Lanai becoming a haven for liberty. (Still got nice, quiet beaches, though.) Fuck Ellison.

      1. Ellison also claims Apple is doomed now that Jobs is dead, which I think shows a lack of insight.

        1. Didn’t Oracle buy Sun after they were a worthless hulk for Java? I still haven’t figured out the model on that one.

          1. The idea, I believe, was that they’d have a full stack:

            Hardware: Sun servers with SPARC
            Operating system: Solaris
            Database: Oracle
            Java VM: HotSpot or JRockit (the good parts of the latter have been merged with the former, I think)
            Application server: GlassFish or WebLogic

            Basically, they wanted to be IBM.

            1. I had the opportunity to buy a couple of SPARCStations used a few years ago. I wish I hadn’t passed it up-they’ll likely be collector’s items someday.

  6. Nobody at Reason was tricked by this fake story about Dog the Bounty Hunter going after Edward Snowden, and we’re just sharing it with you for fun. (Shut up.)

    I bet Reason also invested its employees pensions in some guy in Nigeria’s currency swap scheme.

    1. This is why reason shouldn’t be linking to its own worthless 24/7 site.

    2. I was hoping that we would get to see Vlad vs. Dog.

    3. Hey! That “scheme” was perfectly legitimate. I just had a bit of bad luck is all!

    4. They were fooled by the fake “Michelle Obama rapping to end obesity” bit though.

  7. Zero people show up for climate rally:…..nge-rally/
    Obama campaign simply removes event from website.

    1. Climate Rally? What climate rally?

      1. The Summer of Recovery!

        1. If we can increase the length of the summer via global warming, we can be in constant recovery. The only reason we haven’t fully bounced back is because of the rethuglicans and winter.

          1. Can’t we just change daylight savings time from an hour to a week or two or a month?

    2. Beat me to it. Oh well, it’s so great it deserves to be posted twice.

    3. DC has been unusually cool this year. Like, 5-months-of-May cool. (Last year was hellishly hot, though). I wonder if this had something to do with it. Or maybe all the Obamaphiles are actually getting sick of his shit.

      1. I’m pretty sure it was just the rain. It almost isn’t worth getting out of the limo when my leather boots will get some of that icky wet stuff on them.

  8. Zimbabwe’s re-elected President Robert Mugabe is promising to finish what his party has started by continuing efforts to seize foreign and white-owned assets in the African nation.

    He’s got a mandate.

    1. Am I the only person surprised that there are STILL foreign/white owned assets in Zimbabwe?

      1. I’m surprised Zimbabwe still exists.

      2. “Crony capitalism”, crapitalism for short, is colorblind unless political demands dictate otherwise.

      3. It surprised me, too. And did they get a handle on their hyperinflation?

  9. Nobody at Reason was tricked by this fake story about Dog the Bounty Hunter going after Edward Snowden, and we’re just sharing it with you for fun. (Shut up.)

    We knew it was fake all along. Ice and Gene Parmesan used this false story as cover for their search operation.

    1. OMG GENE!

      He got me again!

    2. Oh, Shackford. The memory hole needs filled. You know posts have been “disappeared” before.

    3. Nobody at Reason was tricked

      It was an illusion!

  10. Nobody at Reason was tricked by this fake story

    We’re here for the comments, not the stories.

    1. Stories?

    2. Also, alt-text.

      1. Also, naked Asian girlz.

        1. I approve this message

      2. And Lobster Girl!


          1. “How we made sure the lobster was Asian I haven’t a clue.”

  11. Credit budget cuts. The police department’s staffing is down, so officers have been shifted away from the narcotics unit.

    Federal law enforcement grants will take care of this problem.

  12. Of course, Oracle is a company that focuses on database management systems, so take it for what it is.

    And a company that has seen MySQL, PostgreSQL, and SQL Server breathing down its neck for a while now in terms of competitive large-scale databases. And the first two are open source.

    Larry’s a known asshole as well.

    1. They still own Java

      1. They also own MySQL, though it has (predictably) been forked into a couple of major offshoots.

    2. Known asshole. Why don’t they register them and publish a list?

      1. Do you really want to get registered, ProL? I know I don’t. Then everyone will know I’m an asshole.

        1. It is one of the biggest secrets today, along with the fact that the NSA’s secret mission is to find reality show ideas for TLC.

          1. they looking for the next Honey Boo Boo

            1. That’s right. The have algorithms that run through every statement they record or otherwise capture, looking for the most fascinating train wrecks, which they send to Discovery’s (they own TLC, etc.) program development team. Come, how else did anyone find out that the Amish have a mob?

              1. Oh, Discovery Channel…what the fuck happened to you?

                1. Its viewers happened. At least there’s the Science Channel, which still has some science programming.

                  1. Unlike the History Channel, which started out covering actual history and now features ancient alien astronaut “theorists”.

                2. They decided to stop being hippies and start making some money for once. And nothing makes better money than giving people someone they can feel superior to.

                  1. I believe this is correct. “Honey, let’s go watch those idiots that are one notch below us on the social scale.”

                    1. I’ll cop to watching Deadliest Catch, but I draw the line at Untouchables: The Real Sewer Scoopers.

                      Amish Mafia just makes me want to throw things at my telly.

                    2. My son refers to “Deadliest Catch” which my one daughter loves, as “that damn crab show.”

                      Do the members of the Amish mafia have nicknames, like Jacob “One Buggy” Stoltzfus?

                    3. That’s such bullshit, anyway. I saw a promo where a buggy exploded. Yeah, right. And if they’re faking that, they’re faking the whole thing.

                    4. An Amish buggy exploding? Sounds like a Simpsons gag.

                    5. Here you go. It’s around halfway through, I think.

                      It amazes me that people think reality TV is even remotely real and unscripted.

                    6. Some of it – like Duck Dynasty – is highly produced. Some of it is actually shot documentary-style. Most shows are somewhere in-between.

                      Where the real unreality is added, though, is in the edit. That’s common to all “reality” shows.

                    7. That artisanal mayo can be dangerous if not canned properly.

                  2. And nothing makes better money than giving people someone to whom they can feel superior. to.

                    Fucking cretin.

                    1. Funny, it doesn’t look like Latin, alphabet notwithstanding.

                    2. Stop cisgrammer oppressing me!

      2. The NSA is keeping that list to itself.

      3. Mr. Liberate, are you now or have you ever been an asshole? Do you cohabitate or collaborate with assholes? Are any of your friends or coworkers assholes? I have here in my hand a list of known assholes, and to be frank, several of your associates are on it.

        1. I’m clean. It’s that damned blog I frequent. Go there and see for yourself.

        2. They’re on to me!

          1. The problem with the registry, of course, is that it includes epic assholes like Episiarch along with minor assholes who accidentally cut someone off in traffic while sneezing. It kind of trivializes the whole thing.

            1. cut someone off in traffic while sneezing

              That’s his move!

              1. False, his move is to cut someone off in traffic while masturbating.

            2. There are rankings! Do you think I wouldn’t want my epic assholeness known if I’m going to be on the list anyway?

              I’m still below Larry Ellison. And Harlan Ellison.

              1. I thought you were in between?

                1. Ellison/Ellison slashfic, starring Episiarch?

                  I’m going to go shower now. Several times, though I doubt I will ever feel clean again.

              2. Harlan will still be the #1 seed a decade after he’s dead.

                1. He’s really got dick down, doesn’t he?

        3. Freedom requires that we root out all the assholes.

          1. I was trying to find the song from TOOL’s Opiate album that had the intro about “there used to be a bunch of assholes who lived in this building, but we systematically eradicated them…”

            Yeah, don’t google “TOOL jerk off” from your work computer.

            1. Judging by YouTube flamewars, “jerk off” is what a lot of Tool fans* do while they listen.

              *I like Tool, but I would not call myself a “fan”

              1. My best friend in HS was a TOOL superfanatic. It would not surprise me if I got a drunken confession about that from him one day.

                1. An acquaintance (not friend) in college was a big Tool (fan).

                  1. What the fuck, squirrels? Cut out two paragraphs!

                    1. What I was trying to say, but the squirrels apparently don’t want out there, was:

                      1. He ran a script on his desktop that would log whenever someone searched for terms like “rape porn” on DC++ and track them down and berate them (the campus network IP addresses correspond to building and room number).

                      2. He kept count, for some unspecified period of time, of the number of condoms in our dorm’s vending machine.

                      He was, uh, kind of a dick.

        4. Do you ever neglect important social, occupational, or recreational activities because you’re an asshole? Are you ever a larger asshole over a longer period than you intended to be? Have you ever unsuccessfully tried to cut down or control how much of an asshole you are? Do you ever experience nausea, sweating, shakiness, and anxiety after you stop being an asshole?

          1. Why yes…yes I do! Please go on.

      4. You don’t even want to hear me start on all the asshole moves he’s pulled to fuck up the America’s Cup sailing races, leaving sucker San Francisco millions in the red (money that could have been spent on narcotics busts!) It could have been a truly cool event, but he turned the racing into a bunch of lawsuits and an unfortunate death instead.

    3. Oracle bought the rights to MySQL. MariaDB is the open-source fork that all the cool kids are using now.

    4. Joke around here is that Oracle is an acronym for “One Rich Asshole Called Larry Ellison”

  13. Didn’t just recently the San Francisco police focus on getting evil antique muzzleloaders out of the hands of gangs during a recent “gun buyback”?

    Seems places that get smart on drug policy get stupid on gun policy, and vice versa.

  14. Yglesias: The ‘shocking immorality’ of Republican opposition to Obamacare

    April polling showed that the depth of public ignorance around the law remained profound, with about 40 percent of all respondents and half of under-30s unaware that the Affordable Care Act is still the law of the land at all.
    The odds against this bamboozlement working on a large enough scale to derail the law are slim. The relevant population of twentysomething uninsured people is quite liberal, and in a war of words it will end up trusting Obama and his allies over conservative activists.
    But that hardly means that conservatives won’t persuade anyone: They’ll end up persuading many grassroots conservatives not to participate. Trying to trick people into not exploring the potential benefits of a new government program is a rather novel tactic in American politics, perhaps because it’s blatantly immoral. But conservative leaders truly believe the ACA is disastrous for the country and are more than willing to sacrifice the concrete interests of their followers to undermine it.

    The comments are even worse.

    1. Ah, the projection. Obamacare is a fucking ruse that all its proponents spend their time trying to convince everyone that it’s wonderful, and SadBeard goes and projects exactly what he’s doing on his opponents. The projection never, ever ends with these people. It’s amazing.

    2. I thought we had to wait for it to be implemented before we could know what was in the law?

    3. Someone needs to shove a hot poker up that Jack Manning guy’s nose. Hopefully that will dislodge Obama’s cock from his throat.

    4. I’ll bet good money that every shirt he owns has a food stain on it.

      1. I sort of see SadBeard as Liam McPoyle, but with a beard. A sad one.

      2. JW wins the internets.

    5. Trying to trick people into not exploring the potential benefits of a new government program is a rather novel tactic in American politics, perhaps because it’s blatantly immoral. But conservative leaders truly believe the ACA is disastrous for the country and are more than willing to sacrifice the concrete interests of their followers to undermine it.

      But if conservative leaders “truly believe” that “the ACA is disastrous for the country”, then how can refusing to help midwife it be “blatantly immoral” and against the “concrete interests of their followers”? Either they understand that the ACA will improve the lot of their constituents and they are acting in bad faith for selfish reasons, or they truly believe the law will do the opposite and are acting in good faith because their reasoning is mistaken, but how can Yglesias claim that both of these things are true at the same time?

      1. Because he’s a moron and probably has an extra chromosome?

        1. Or two. He is not fucking normal, whatever his problem is.

          1. He is not fucking normal, whatever his problem is.

            I don’t know why, but I laughed at this.

        2. Well, we know he has a job, and I bet he has a hat…

      2. You shouldn’t try to figure out what Matty means by using logic. It will just give you a headache.

      3. Jeez, its like you’ve never *read* Orwell.

    6. “When people make a bad choice, the only moral option is to take away the choice all together.” That is the argument progressives will make. Of course, they won’t try to take away all choices, just those which aren’t used “responsibly”. They’ll quote Rousseau and claim they are making people more free.

      1. Rousseau quotes are usually a sign that I can ignore that person.

    7. Why you people continue to insist on posting Yglesias stories here, I’ll never know. Is there some sort of Reason policy requiring the occasional linking of a story written by the mentally infirm?

      1. Occasional?

  15. Zero people show up to “Climate Change” rally in Washington, D.C. today.

    Wonder if maybe it has anything to do with the fact that the next few days in the northeast are going to see high temperatures in the upper 70s and low 80s, which seems to me a lot cooler than the usual temperatures you see in the region smack dab in the middle of the summer.

    1. Did OfA screw up busing in their paid ‘volunteers’?

    2. Excuse me, it’s CLIMATE CHANGE, not global warming.

      if it’s hot: IT’S BECAUSE OF CLIMATE CHANGE!

      1. Dude. It’s because of Manbearpig.

        1. I wrote on here a few months back that I was on a plane getting ready to exit, standing right next to Al Gore himself. I ended up not saying anything to him because all I could think of was ManBearPig. On exiting the airplane, I came thisclose to raising my arms to fly off, calling “Excelsior!!”

          1. I would have asked him why he insisted on nuking our imaginations. Not cool, bro, I’m super cereal.

  16. Ellison was a speaker at a Cato conference in San Jose I went to in the 90s, and a lot of people there were wondering what he was doing at a libertarian conference with Milton Friedman, Harry Browne, and the like.

    1. yeah, and?

      1. If you want me to say that libertarians attacked Ellison en masse and that he barely survived it, I will, but that didn’t happen.

        His speech wasn’t very libertarian, I do remember that.

        1. And the interfaces for Oracle were some of the shittiest UI work I’ve ever seen. “Oracle DBA” was a position practically made up solely by the stupidity and difficulty of managing an Oracle database. I’m exaggerating, but fuck was the interface to Oracle 8i horrible.

          1. Son of a bitch must pay.

  17. New York’s attorney general is going after personal loan companies due to their high interest rates, some as high as 355 percent.

    No, they charge 355% APR. They do not receive 355% of the principal in interest because the terms are almost always between 7 and 15 days depending on your pay schedule.

    1. Whoa. Holy shit. Some dude took out a personal loan for $2600 over 4 years and will pay $13000 total. Shit. I look stupid. I mean, not as stupid as him, but pretty stupid.

      1. That’s still only 100% APR.

    2. I wonder what the stats are on people defaulting on these loans. There’s a reason some interest rates are higher than others, and it starts with an “r” and ends with a “k”.

      1. I thought Raskolniks were only a threat to the Czars.

        1. Seriously. Just try collecting on a debt after the final battle.

      2. Reykjavik?

      3. Rucksack?

      4. The interest rates on short term loans are so high not so much because of risk but because there’s a minimum amount of overhead needed for a loan, period.

    3. I wish people would stop annualizing $15 on a $100 loan payable in two weeks. It’s extremely misleading and leaves out entirely the fact that the consumer wants the loan,and the lender has to price it around that much because the same consumer isn’t all that likely to repay the loan.

      1. Ask any doofus proposing outlawing this if he’d like to lend $100 to a stranger (say yourself)and you’ll be cross my heart and hope to die be sure to pay him back $101 by next pay day.

        1. Which, if annualized for a week-long pay period, is usury! Burn him!

          1. In college I worked a summer job at a swimming pool installer. The pay was shitty, and I have no idea how anyone would support a family on it today, but the guys on the crew had no time or energy for second jobs. There was one guy who would frequently drink his entire weekly paycheck away on Thursday night. He must have been bumming money off of someone to stay alive. Several times that summer the owner of the company came up short on payroll (shouldn’t have been skimming out of the register to finance building your house, asshole!) and that was nearly the end for some of the folks working there living hand to mouth.

            1. My grandmother used to tell stories about how her aunt would hope that her uncle would get arrested friday night while out drinking because otherwise he’d come home sunday effectively broke.

      2. Look, what you rather have? Poor people relying on icky profit-making credit to weather rough patches, or relying on the noble technocratic state and becoming permanent clients thereof?

        1. what would*

  18. Krugman, once again lying with statistics.

    The truth, however, was that this wasn’t the voice of experience talking; it was the voice of right-wing fantasy. Historically, stimulus programs ? unlike social insurance programs, which do indeed have staying power ? have shown no tendency at all to become permanent. No, the WPA didn’t endure into the Eisenhower years. And in fact the historical tendency is for stimulus to go away too soon.

    So let’s take a look at Obama-era spending. Obviously we want to deflate the spending, not just look at nominal amounts; and I’d argue that you really want to deflate by potential GDP, so that we get a sense of how spending has changed relative to the amount the economy would be producing at full employment. So here’s federal spending as a percentage of potential GDP, as estimated by the Congressional Budget Office:

    Federal spending as percent of potential GDP

    Sure enough, spending is most of the way down to pre-recession levels. The slight remaining elevation reflects a couple of factors: spending on safety-net programs is still elevated thanks to a still-depressed economy,and the arrival of the baby boomers is already having a significant impact on retirement programs. But there has definitely not been anything like the spending ratchet stimulus opponents claimed was inevitable.

    1. “Potential GDP”. The Oracle has spoken. Who are you to question the Oracle?

      1. Larry Ellison? Oh, wait, he says we shouldn’t question the Oracle either.

  19. RBC did a poll on Americans’ understanding of government spending. One question was what makes up most of the deficit. The top 5 responses:

    28% said national defense (actual portion of government spending: 19%)
    21% said foreign aid (1%)
    9% said health (3%)
    8% said Medicare/Medicaid (21%)
    7% said social security (23%)

    In other words, only 15% of the population realize that the biggest drags on the deficit are entitlement programs.

    No link since I saw this on BloombergTV.

    1. I’d give it to the defense people since it’s pretty close. How long ago was it that entitlements took over the top spot from defense?

      1. It’s been fucking decades. Since like 1972 or thereabouts. Cutting the entire defense budget wouldn’t even put the FedGov in the black. It’s totally FUBAR.

        1. It’s important to note that they divided up the entitlements in this poll. Social Security is and has been the biggest single program, and I don’t think it’s been 40 years since it surpassed the defense budget. The defense budget itself is hard to quantify. The 2013 DoD budget was $672 billion, but that doesn’t include Homeland Security ($55 billion), Veterans’ Affairs ($79 billion) or various other programs in other departments that are military or defense related in some way. Social Security is still probably larger than all that, at $871 billion

          1. Too lazy to check, but do they still put the GWOT in its own separate category? Never understood the logic behind that one.

    2. 43% get one of the top 3, so there’s that.

      1. That’s actually pretty sad that over half of the population thinks something outside of the top 3 is the biggest spending item

        1. Probably double the 43% think the world came about supernaturally. Take what you can get.

    3. Was interest on the debt even on there? I thought that was another big one…

    4. Actually 21% (foreign aid) + 9% (health) + 8% (medicare) + 7% (SS) = 45% of the population realize the biggest drags are entitlement programs.

      1. Foreign aid itself though is a very small portion of the budget. I’m not giving those people credit. I’m not sure why health was a separate category. Medicare and Medicaid make up the vast majority of health spending by the government

    5. 7% said social security (23%)

      Isn’t Social Security still pretty close to solvent for the current year? I think saying it makes up 23% of the (current) deficit is pretty far from correct.

      1. Oh, the 23% is of spending, and then they confuse people by asking them what contributes to the deficit.

    6. National defense at 19% is misleading because that is only DODs share. Add in the CIA, NSA, State, VA and other graft related to empire and the total is close to 30%.

      Also, when people say ‘health’ they may mean Medicare / Medicaid.

  20. Bono says capitalism is the only way to end poverty.


    1. In the name of love
      What more than the name of love

    2. Here’s the problem I have with Bono getting smart about aid and capitalism: why couldn’t he have been making bad music back when he was a leftard? The trajectories of his musical prowess and economic consciousness have been sadly inverted.

      1. I find it pretty necessary to disconnect the politics of my favorite musicians from their music. Otherwise I’d be wearing headphones with no music playing in them, just to avoid talking to people, which I have totally never done before.

      2. Its a sad fact of life that leftists tend to make the best music. And frankly, I’ll trade all the good in the world for a bunch of Bono’s that can understand economics.

        1. I hope you meant “…all the good music in the world…”

        2. Wagner says “suck it”.

      3. Uh, no, U2 has consistently been the #2 most over rated band of all time for a good 20 or 30 years now. They are like the Polvo’s of Rock.

    3. Didn’t Gelfdoff go off on government interventionism in Africa a couple of years back?

  21. Oh and Happy Left-Handed Day to all left-handed Reasonoids. We are the 10%!

    1. w00t

    2. How long until they find a prenatal treatment for this particular genetic defect? It practically pays for itself in savings on left-handed school desks.

      1. I’m sure Cyto is with you on finding that test and purging humanity.

      2. We need to find a cure for male gingers first.

      3. LOL, your school had left-handed desks? This left-hander’s did not.

      4. I remember in elementary school they tried to make me hold the pencil the ‘right way’. Fascist fucks.

      5. I was forcibly changed from left to right handed as a child in the early 60’s. I blame this for my poor hand-eye coordination to this day. Probably could have been a much better baseball player, at least.

        1. You too? It was brutal growing up left-handed! We were all alone. There was none of this PC, protect all the childenz bull shit. It was kill or be killed.

          I remember my cunt 6th grade teacher refusing me to use a regular pen in handwriting class instead of fountain pen which was ruining my sleeves. Bitch even ignored my mother’s request.

          As for my parents, I distinctly remember when I was 3 or 4 them trying to get me to hold a crayon with my right hand and me being all confused by what was transpiring. I kept putting it in my left hand. Finally, my father pragmatically said in Italian, “leave the boy alone. He’s left handed.”

          For the record, “left” in Italian is “sinistra.” I’ll let you decipher what that is in English – and it ain’t Sinatra.

          Still, it’s cool being left handed. We’re a minority!

        2. Left-handers who are forced to be right-handed actually become better baseball players, because they can be switch hitters. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

          1. When I was a kid I had to use a right hand mitt. I was amazing at catching but I had to take my glove off to throw. It was like I had a nub.

      6. We will fight you to the death to preserve our right to be left handed. Just like the deaf activists.

        And I want special privileges like minorities and gays got (just without having to endure the oppression part first).

        1. Speaking of which, I’m looking for a bolt-action rifle – so any recommendations on good left-handed models (new, used, or vintage) would be appreciated.

      7. Why bother with treatment when you can just select a different embryo for incubation?

      1. There’s a trade-off: higher IQs but shorter lives on the average.

        1. Ha! I’ve known lefthanders. Barely sentient.

          1. No, perfectly sentient. We are just at an intellectual level so far and beyond yours that we seem to be not sentient.

            1. Look, call me when you can write with your right hand.

              I had a great-grandmother and have a niece who are ambidextrous. I can do a lot with my left hand, but can’t quite write with it. My brother and I used to joke about trying to become switch-passing QBs (“My God is he. . .he is! He’s now passing lefthanded!”)

                1. I write Chinese with my left foot, does that count?

            2. You tell him Serious Man.

      2. Reagan, both Bushes, Clinton and Obama are/were lefties.

        We’re going to get together in our clubhouses, shake our left hands and put you on the list, righty.

        1. That’s right. A distressing number of oppressive fucks were lefties.

          1. I’m going to miss you, Pro L, because the drone won’t.

          2. There’s a reason “sinister” is a negative word.

            1. Goddamn Romans, slandering us poor put-upon lefties?

    3. This is a sinister development if I ever saw one!

    4. The nuns cured my old man of his left-handedness when he was a boy. And the same should be done to the rest of you.

      1. Maybe that’s what the NSA is doing, identifying lefthanded freaks.

      2. Your old man should sue the church for uh, “handing” him.

      3. Hey, check your right-privilege – you don’t what its like living *my* life!

  22. Detroit cop emailed female colleagues’ bra sizes to the force

    1. I’m sure it was just for Victoria’s Secret Santa.

    2. Were the officers’ relative size really that much of a surprise?

  23. Robert Reich and the art of projection. Lots of projection

    Undoubedly, social media play a part — allowing people to pop off without bearing much responsibility for what they say. And most of us can cocoon within virtual or real communities whose members confirm all our biases and assumptions.

    Meanwhile, cable news and yell radio compete for viewers and listeners by being ever more strident. Not long ago I debated a Republican economic advisor on a cable TV program. During the brief station-break, the show’s producer told me to “be angrier.” I told her I didn’t want to be angrier. “You have to,” she said. “Viewers are surfing through hundreds of channels and will stop for a gladiator contest.”

    Within this cacophony, we’ve lost trusted arbiters of truth — the Edward Murrows and Walter Cronkites who could explain what was happening in ways most Americans found convincing.

    We’ve also lost most living memory of an era in which we were all in it together — the Great Depression and World War II — when we succeeded or failed together. In those years we were palpably dependent on one another, and understood how much we owed each other as members of the same society.

    1. Is it ironic that a guy named Reich is a fascist, or just creepy?

      1. Fitting is the word you’re looking for. Apt, apropos.

      2. Nothing is creepier than when some scumbag like Reich starts talking about “us” and “we” and “owed”. I don’t owe you shit, you fucking short piece of shit. Go take it up with Napoleon, at least you both have the midget status in common.

        1. Insert form statement that Napoleon was average height.

          1. Not according to Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, and that’s the definitive history on Napoleon, Billy the Kid, Abraham Lincoln, Gengis Kahn, and the cute brunette from the Go-Go’s.

            1. You got me there.

              Where’s the sequel? Come on, guys, we’re waiting.

            2. That was Beethoven, dude.

              1. Bogus, dude.

                1. Be excellent to one another, dudes.

            3. You forgot Frood-dude and So-Krates.

    2. Don’t these people get paid to be on these shows? I’m sure Matt Welch isn’t doing them as free promo for Reason.

      1. Reason does porno? Oh, promo. Sorry, do continue.

        1. Does Reason still employ that redheaded Aussie?

        2. Does Reason still employ that redheaded Aussie?

          1. Yes, she’s currently in charge of post duplication.

        3. You saw today’s Microsoft/NSA story, right?

    3. we’ve lost trusted arbiters of truth — the Edward Murrows and Walter Cronkites

      Reich’s physical stature is only greater than his intellectual stature.

      1. Murrows? Cronkite? There’s never been any shortage of CIA shills.

    4. We’ve also lost most living memory of an era in which we were all in it together — the Great Depression and World War II — when we succeeded or failed together

      This is the one area wher he is right. The “Great Depression and World War II” generation (Tom Brokaw’s “Greatest Generation” was certainaly the most statist generation in the country’s history.

      1. And by the way, I say thank God that we have “lost most living memory of an era in which we were all in it together”.

        I. like most boomers, grew up with “greatest generation” parents. Between the “you need to know deprivation like we did in the depression” and “you need to have a wart like we did in the Big One” it was hell.

        Well, at least they did give us a war.

  24. Nobody at Reason was tricked by this fake story about Dog the Bounty Hunter going after Edward Snowden, and we’re just sharing it with you for fun. (Shut up.)

    You gullible cosmotarian retards.

    1. Anyone else read that in a Charlton Heston voice?

      1. Get your cosmotarian hands off me, you dang libertarian populists!

  25. “Walter Cronkites who could explain what was happening ”
    Is this the same Walter Cronkite who said he would not cover Ed Clark’s presidential campaign in 1980 because “Libertarians are evil.”

    1. and the same guy who singlehandedly changed the results of Vietnam war battles.

  26. This buzzfeed article actually downplays how my fiancee feels about Publix subs.

    Publix Subs Are The Most Delicious Thing To Ever Happen On Earth

    I think they are fine sandwiches, but they are not fucking magic.

    1. I saw that and had a similar reaction. They are quite good for a grocery store, and are a huge improvement over what they used to have, but come on.

      1. All I can say is that the Publix in Maitland has one of the best beer selections I’ve ever found anywhere.

    2. I guess I got a defective Publix when the lady behind the counter gave me an “eat shit and die” look for reminding her I asked for oregano on my sandwich. But she was an exception, most Publix employees have seemed reasonably happy to me.

      1. No, you just have that effect on people

        1. It’s true!

          Neoncat runs off sobbing

      2. I’d say that’s unusual. Publix generally has great customer service. We used to compare and contrast with other grocery stores, which had shit service.

        1. Publix is non-union and they treat their workers well. Kroger employees are the worst.

          1. It’s a family-owned, privately held business. They do what the fuck they want.

            If I ever own a business that makes it big, I am not going public. Yes, the equity is nice, but publicly traded companies are run with so much idiocy that it’s frankly shocking.

            1. In other words, you aspire to be just like your Koch masters.

              1. Precisely. I’m that way because they influenced me while watching all of those NOVA episodes.

    3. Publix chicken finger sub w/ hot sauce is my favorite restaurant sub in existence. $8.50 and it’s easily enough for two filling meals.

      1. I’ll have to try the chicken finger sub. I find the deli meat ones to be merely adequate.

      2. I don’t mean to suggest they don’t do a nice job with subs–they do–but best thing ever is a bit much.

    4. First of all, they use Boar’s Head meat and cheeses.

      I thought this was supposed to be an article about how the sandwiches were good.

  27. Anti-Hillary website creates a “Slap Hillary” click-a-ma-jig, predictable outrage follows

    I cannot believe I actually have to write the following: Encouraging people to slap a woman across the face ? in essence, advocating violence against women ? is offensive and disturbing, whether or not that woman is a public figure, and it is part of some “game” or joke.
    The good news is some 105,000 people agree. That’s how many signatures UltraViolet, an online anti-sexism group, collected in 48 hours in support of a petition to The Hillary Project to pull the game. But, so far, no response.
    So, women’s groups like Miss Representation and Emily’s List are joining UltraViolet in going over the super PAC’s head to the Republican leadership ? RNC Chairman Reince Priebus, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and House Speaker John Boehner ? to demand that they unequivocally condemn this sexist game, and to ensure the party does not benefit financially from promoting violence against women.

    1. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel. No, geniuses, get your predictable outrage on like the morons you are. Because the creators of the game never saw that coming or anything, or that your outrage would make it instantly more known than it ever would have been otherwise.

      Fuck these people are stupid.

      1. If you read the article she casually dismisses the lack of outrage from Emily’s List and other feminist groups when a slap Sarah Palin game was made.

        You know, because she’s not on the right team.

        1. They don’t even try any more. Because no one holds them accountable, most certainly their own TEAM.

      2. I so admire those who can monetize stupid. Not people who commit fraud or run scams or governments, but those who get stupid people to pay them for goods and services. You know, like TLC.

        1. They haven’t been the same since Left Eye died.

    2. The good news is some 105,000 people agree. That’s how many signatures UltraViolet, an online anti-sexism group, collected in 48 hours in support of a petition to The Hillary Project to pull the game. But, so far, no response.

      HAHAHAHAHAHA! What are they going to do if they don’t pull it? Not play the game?

      1. We’ll stop you from, um, wait, how could this possibly work again?

        1. They will write a very strongly worded letter!

    3. Also, these morons still don’t understand the Streisand effect. Most people would have never heard about this website and the game if they hadn’t have bitched up a storm about it.

      Way to go ladies.

      1. I’m not sure they care if more people know about the game now. These types just get off on outrage, and I think they’d rather have something to like this to hold up, so they can show they’re morally superior, than get the game shut down. A good opportunity to bitch and moan (especially about evil rethuglicans) is all they really care about.

      1. I’ve slapped her now. Feels good. And to think, I’d never have done this but for the mindless, politically motivated protest.

        Maybe Sean Connery was right?

        1. This game is quite old. I seem to remember it back during the ’08 campaign.

          1. Well, it’s being revived now.

  28. So, The Boy wants $140 sneakers to go back to school in, so he can not be ostracized as shit-farming loser, wearing sneakers that cost a mere $100.

    “Son, they’re nice, but fuck no.”
    “I’ll pay for half!”

    So, he’s been doing extra chores to earn some cash, in addition to the allowance. He informed me yesterday that he sold 2 pairs of KD socks, used socks, to a friend for 20 bucks. Seriously? 20 bucks? Yep.

    I almost cried with fatherly pride at his embracing of cutthroat capitalist tendencies.

    1. Set him up on eBay and seize this opportunity to sell used socks. Find a source for used socks, too.

      1. No shit. I see a new robber sock baron being born.

        1. It’s quite shocking what people will pay for. My older daughter made a small killing on some kind of rubber-band watches or something really incredibly cheap (I’m not remembering the product right)–cost her cents per unit, and people would pay her a couple of bucks per. Amazing. And my wife made a lot of money selling clearance merchandise at well over full price to Australians.

          Arbitrage opportunities, baby!

          1. Well, to be fair, Aussies aren’t very bright.

            1. The Aussies will tell you that that those people were just Tasmanians.

          2. A friend of mine in high school used to go down to Florida around Xmas time every year (shocker: he is Jewish) and would go to some kind of discount bulk candy store and just fill up a duffel bag with super cheap candy. Then, after getting back, he would sell the candy in class for way more than it had cost him, and even allowed people to run tabs. He made some good money that way. And I usually got some free candy.

            1. That’s brilliant.

              I’ve donated so much old shit to Goodwill and the like, over the years, because I’m too lazy to sell it, even on eBay.

              And I fucking HATE yard sales.

              1. Look, don’t sneer at money-making schemes. Think of the guys who came up with dollar stores. Rich, rich, rich.

                1. I don’t sneer, I just hate being dragged to yards where they’re selling 25-year old toaster ovens and buckets of mismatched flatware.

                  Sorry, but I Man shop. Go in, find the product, pay and leave. No dawdling!

                  1. I’m still trying to figure out how you can stockpile used socks without alerting the world to the opportunity.

                    1. It’s just a matter of finding the key to that inter-dimensional dryer doorway where the odd socks go.

                    2. Socks are the larval forms of hangers. One sock matures into two hangers. Its simple conservation of matter.

                    3. Plastic, wire, or Huggable?

      2. He just called me to tell me that he sold his old Jordan’s to a different friend for 30 bucks.


        1. Dude, you’ve got a gold mine!

      3. It just so happens that I have a source of used socks. I will supply them to his son for $10 a pair. Plus shipping and handling.

        1. I’m going to need to see the product first. Meet me outside of town in a desolate and poorly lit area?

    2. Whatever the market will bear.

    3. I would be torn between being proud of tendencies and mocking him for selling his used socks to a perv with a foot fetish.

      I guess no reason I couldn’t do both.

      1. I told him in uncertain terms was he permitted to sell his sister’s panties to his friends.

        1. Hey, wait, find out how much they’re willing to pay, first.

          1. I left him a loophole to wiggle through. I didn’t say that he couldn’t rent them.

            1. Not rent, lease. With financing. My God, you are going to be so rich.

        2. lol. Hopefully he has to replace them with new ones of equal value out of the proceeds, otherwise you’re just teaching him to be a crony capitalist where dad is subsidizing his business model.

          1. Hey now, he wanted me to spot him $20 until he could get to the bank and I turned him down. “Nope, that’s a loan.”

            It’s just seed money to start a new empire. I’m set for retirement, now.

            1. No loans. If it ever comes down to that, you give him $50 for 90% of his equity. You can vote to pay him a small (to you) salary as you rake it in.

  29. Isn’t Larry Ellison one of Shriek’s Great Libertarian Capitalist Heroes who he chides us for not worshiping enough?

    1. You will note that the sockpuppets have been absent for days now. And when one is gone, they’re both gone. Imagine that.

      1. you have no more free time?

        1. He has plenty of free time just ask the ginger femdwarves he keeps in the basement of his houseboat.

  30. Another Obamacare setback, another unhinged attack on the president’s enemies

    To listen to some conservatives howl, you’d think the half-white Muslim Kenyan usurper had just taken another step toward nationalizing the insurance industry, when both these changes represent quite the opposite: a White House bending over backward to work with employers and insurers to smooth the transition to the new rules. Sen. Rand Paul told Fox News that the president is violating the Constitution by changing the implementation schedule. “The president doesn’t get to write legislation, and it’s illegal and unconstitutional for him to try and change legislation by himself,” he said.

    Imagine the outrage if Czarina Kathleen Sebelius had instead demanded that private businesses meet the deadlines despite their complaints. “We had to balance the interests of consumers with the concerns of health plan sponsors and carriers, which told us that their computer systems were not set up to aggregate all of a person’s out-of-pocket costs,” an administration official told the New York Times. “They asked for more time to comply.”

    1. Just so I understand: The Republicans, being the Evil party (not the Stupid party) suckered the Democrats into passing an unpossible bill and are now really bad guys for expecting the Executive Branch to implement the legislation as written.

      If only.

    2. the half-white Muslim Kenyan

      Salon is about the only place I see things like this written. Like Episarch says it’s a total projection. They think everyone who disagrees with them actually thinks and says things like that.

      1. Jonathan Haidt discovered that leftists are much poorer at understanding how rightists think than vice versa.

  31. Today on TiA:

    This could explain why I have been questioning my ethnicity and why I have been feeling like I might actually be Japanese. It’s because in a past life I was actually a Japanese tortoise!

    1. There can’t really be people this stupid, right? It’s just some elaborate performance art, right? Right?!?

      1. There are

        Actually a lot of anti-BDSM activists are BDSM survivors themselves. I am.

      2. Fetal alcohol syndrome.

    2. Goddammit. How am I suppose to compete with that exquisite level of crazy?

      1. You could get a lobotomy. Just a suggestion. I’m not advocating for it or anything. Remember: lobotomy.

        1. I’m just going to stick with drinking myself to death, thankyouverymuch.

          1. You’d rather have this bottle in front of you than a frontal lobotomy?

        2. “But I’ll show them. I had a lobotomy in the end.”

          1. “Now I’m well/i again.”

      2. You just gotta dig deep! Weren’t you an orange roughy in a past life?

      3. How am I suppose to compete with that exquisite level of crazy?

        You can’t. While I consider you quite talented, you just can’t fake real crazy. Remember the guy who thought he was the physical son of God and that the government was wanting to fist him? I realized then that you can’t make that kind of shit up.

    3. Remember, her vote counts just as much as yours does.

      NOW run off sobbing.

    4. “You really are the reason why Mommy drinks.”

    5. I thought we were only using trans-race people as a debate tactic… They actually exist?

      1. You’ve really never met a whigger? Those fuckers are real, not just some shit they made up for TV like Mormons.

        1. Question for all you wise folks out there:

          An oreo is black on the outside, white on the inside.

          A banana is Asian on the outside, white on the inside.

          An egg is white on the outside, Asian on the inside.

          So what would black on the outside, white with Asian on the inside, inside, be? i.e., (black (white (Asian) ) )

            1. Uh, what?

          1. A Cadbury Egg?

            1. That’s actually pretty good. Bravo, sir.

                1. Black-green-brown-yellow!

          2. A coconut.

    6. I feel physically ill now.

    7. I both love and hate the time I spend on TiA daily. Love because of the pure hilarity. Hate because of the knowledge that people like that exist.

      Especially the This is Thin Privilege people. They’re dangerous as hell.

      1. Wait what the fuck is that?

          1. EVEN MORE TITTIES!

            I can’t tell if that page is supposed to be serious or is designed for public mockery.

            1. TumblrInAction is poking fun. The posts they highlight are presumably serious.

              1. Satire or sincere?

                I’ve been reading your blog for a while, I’m a transfat activist and I wanted to submit my own story of oppression:
                Thin privilege is not being harassed for daring to take up too much space on a bus. I am a transfat individual who prefers to wear cushions underneath my clothing to represent my phantom fat and ease my transition to a larger state. I had to ride a bus home one day, and it was very crowded but I did find an empty seat that accommodated my true size. Then, at the next stop a bunch of other people got on and the bus filled up. This one cis douchelord sat next to me and had the audacity to ask me to put the cushion under the seat so he would have more room! I explained that no, I would not remove it. My phantom fat is a part of me that does not need to be violated by any white cis assholes. I told him he could stand if he insisted on having space.

                1. I had to explain the whole concept of transfat to the ignorant ass, and (tw: ableist slur) he said I was a “total loony.” At that moment I just broke. I told him that he has no idea what it is like to be a larger person, that he doesn’t understand the trials I face every day of my life.
                  I called him a privileged asshole and a fucking creep and then he started tone and language policing me, which is one of my triggers. I nearly had a panic attack. He then said I was insane. I then called him out on his fatphobic, transfatphobic, and ableist shit, he wouldn’t listen to me so I got off the bus early, crying, and had to walk the rest of the way, losing the precious calories I gained that day.

                  1. I don’t care which, that is some funny shit.

                    1. I’m a saturated fat activist.

                    2. Yeah, I was confused about what “transfat activist” meant.

        1. Well yeah that, and the Thin Privilege thing.


            Thin privilege is not being judged when you go out to a nice restaurant alone for your birthday, first ordering fried seafood, then daring to order dessert.

            It’s my birthday. I’m alone. I should be allowed to eat what I want. But no, I get judged by the waiter and the people in the table next to me. And what really pisses me off is that the thin man at the table next to me ordered the same thing, and yet no one was judging him.

            1. Thin privilege is being able to get away with doing absolutely nothing all day, and watching your overwieght sister get persecuted for doing the exact same thing.

              Jesus. These people are crazier than a pile of runover dogs.

              1. Shit like this is the logical result of enough retards with the same issue getting together and telling each other it’s not their fault and that they bear no responsibility for their own actions. It’s all everybody else’s, and society’s, fault. Once you renounce your own personal responsibility, the sky is the limit in terms of coming up with ridiculous crazy shit.

                1. Yep. Prior to the Internet, freaks like this would just mutter to themselves or complain to the 2 people they met in college that agreed with them. Now the whole fucking world is their support system.

                2. Virtually everything is your fault, ultimately. Accepting that is accepting that only you can fix your problems.

                  1. I thought everything was your fault, ProL.

                    1. Certain philosophical theories suggest that, but in all of those, you don’t exist.

            2. They were probably judging her for eating out alone.

              Seriously, who does that? If you’re alone on your birthday just order delivery and sob quietly to yourself.

              1. I’m sure it was the part where she told the waiter loudly “Its my birthday!” that caused the pitying looks.

            3. Thin privilege is going to the local fair and not being afraid to get in line and ride the rides.

              Thin privilege is not worrying about what the person you’re with (even though they are also fat) will think when you want to order food from one of the vendors.

              Thin privilege is not having to listen to people say “Holy shit” or “Look at how fat they are” when you walk by.

              Thin privilege is not fighting off tears for hours while your social anxiety threatens to overwhelm you.

              Look at the grammar they are using. It’s some sort of 2nd person passive-agressive. I read four or five pages and it sort turns your brain to mush after a while, but also strangely addictive.

              Statism privilege is not having to pay excessive taxes because you don’t know all the right people.

              Statism privilege is cheerfully paying the fine from a defective red light camera.

              Statism privilege is not caring how many dogs having to die.

              Statism privilege is ______________________________.

              1. Statism privilege is making laws that only affect other people for their own good

                1. They also use “for the record” quite a bit.

                  Thin privilege is being able to get treatment for your simple kitchen mishap without the nurses joking to themselves about how you got your oil burns “trying to eat her french fries straight from the fryer.” For the record, I was sauteing onions.

                  I’m going to work that into as many work conversations as possible tomorrow.

                  “Are the finding aids ready for all the processed collections? They really want content to post.”

                  “We just have to proofread them and add the active links. For the record, I was sauteing onions.”

          2. Thin privilege is doimg research on violence against thin people and not finding several results about people advocating for violence against thin people.

          3. Note the fundamental misuse of the word privilege. Privilege is something you have that you didn’t earn.

            People who are not disgusting fat bodies presumably earned their bodily state by exercising and having a balanced diet.

            1. I am slim because I run 3 days a week and work out 4. I drink a lot of beer and eat what I want and stay slim because of my exercise routine. I hate running, I don’t much like working out, but I like being in good shape. If you are fat, you are fat because you are lazy and don’t eat right for the level of physical exercise you do. I really have no sympathy for fat people who complain about skinny people and want sympathy for being out of shape.

          4. Thin privilege is being able to see my primary sex organ without a mirror. Hold on, yep. Still got it.

            1. Sir, could you not do that in the elevator?

              1. The glass is only mirrored from the INSIDE!

    8. Why aren’t we talking about the real issue here: do people seriously put peanut butter in the fridge?

      1. You’re goddamn right I’m serious when I put peanut butter in the fridge.

        Fridge peanut butter is no laughing matter.

      2. Does it not say refrigerate after opening? I honestly don’t know, but in my family, yes, we put the peanut butter in the fridge.

        1. in my family, yes, we put the peanut butter in the fridge.

          That’s just wrong.

          You are literally worse than Hitler.

          1. It slows the oils going rancid.

        2. Wait, you’re family can afford a fridge? They have those in Appalachia?

          1. Walllll, it doubles as a still, y’unnerstand, like everything in Appalachia, ‘cept maybe a deer stand, but my granpappy knew a fella who’d combined the two. Sad to say, he took a shot at a deer one mornin’ and the muzzle blast ignited the vapors. Granpappy’d always laugh, seein’ as how he owed the fella money.

          2. Appalachians almost all have fridges. Usually on the front lawn, used as an icebox without electricity.

        3. Jesus. We keep regular butter out.

      3. Nah, that’s just a myth.

      4. If you use natural peanut butter (no additives) refrigeration is necessary. Shitty Skippy or the like doesn’t require it.

      5. Of course – I live alone and a jar of peanut butter would go bad before I could finish it if I left it in the cupboard.

        Plus, I don’t like food poisoning.

        Maybe you just have to be left-handed to understand not to do dumb-shit.

    9. Cisenthnic! I love that, I’m going to start using that whenever I have to fill out some damn form asking for my race.

      Stop oppressing me with your categories!

      1. And what the fuck is a ‘transfat’ activist?

        I’d like to think its someone who advocates for the right of people to eat transfats but I’m afraid its someone who advocates for ‘equal rights’ for fat transsexuals – though why that would be different than a ‘fat activists’ is beyond even my complex and powerful left-handed mind to figure out.

        1. Oh God, its worse than I could have impossibly imagined.

          Trans-fat are fat people trapped in a thin person’s body.

          I’ma go taste test some shotguns now.

  32. So, a question for HM (or anybody else):

    I sometimes hear/read people advocating against interracial couples having children because they’re worried that said children will have “identity issues”. A Korean friend of mine opined about this at length, though he’s not the only example.

    Do you think there is any truth to that, or do you think it’s just a rationalization and/or cover?

    1. It’s dumb. We’re all mixed, anyway, if you go back far enough. Breed with anything that can bear your young.

      1. I weep for Warty, doomed to be without progeny.

        1. He could always clone a female version of himself.

          1. *shudder*

          2. That could become Warty Hugeman canon.

    2. It’s projection. They’re racists, or nationalists, at best. They’ll have problems identifying with the speaker’s identity. That can’t stand.

      Practically every white in the US is a mutt. I’m not bellyaching over the Germans polluting my genetic soup. Fucking dirty Krauts.

      1. Can I bellyache over the Irish? Like ProL?

        1. Scottish, as you well know. I’d run you through with a sword, but the Scottish banned those. I can’t figure out what de-manned the Scots and the Australians, but something did.

          Thankfully, I am also half-German, which means I could go berserk at any moment.

          1. Do you own a pet leprechaun, ProL?

            1. I do have some Viking blood, so maybe I’ll raid your village sometime.

              1. Like you raid the fridge and your bottle of whiskey? I’m not concerned, Paddy.

          2. I can’t figure out what de-manned the Scots and the Australians, but something did.

            The welfare state.

          3. German-Scottish? Put a large sword in your hand it would be almost impossible for you to not hamask.

        2. I belly ache over my brit, irish, scottish, and norwegian parts. One part of that mess left me at 5’6″. But I do have blond hair, blue eyes, and try really hard. Time to hit a college bar and find “the one” or the one for tonight as it has been lately.

    3. All I know is that two Wongs don’t make a white.

    4. My dad is Hispanic and my mom is white. As far as I know, neither I or any of my siblings ever had ‘identity issues’ because we weren’t raised to believe that our skin color and ethnic background determined who we are as individuals.

      Teach your kids that and they’ll be fine.

      1. My wife is half-Colombian, no issues with identity whatsoever. Ditto my quarter-Colombian scions.

        1. Where’s my coffee!?

    5. “I sometimes hear/read people advocating against interracial couples having children because they’re worried that said children will have “identity issues”. ”

      People were talking about the same shit 80 years ago when an Irish married an Italian or a Jew married a Puerto Rican or a Pole married a Swede.

    6. They just realize that once most people are racial mutts, the race-baiting industry will be as dead as the racism industry.

    7. It’s an inherently racist idea.

    8. I’m not mixed race (well, technically I’m mixed white but that never seems to count for anything) but from what I’ve seen growing up, its not because of the *family* that a kid might have ‘identity issues’ its from all the other people who keep telling them that they’re not really part of group X or Y.

      1. ^This. A lot of groups that are socially perceived as coherent are a mixture of races (Ex: Any Latin American country). None of these people would say that all Mexicans or Dominicans or Puerto Ricans will have identity issues by virtue of being mixed race. And of course virtually every ethnic group is a mixture, if not of different races, than of different ethnic groups if you go back far enough (Ex: English people are descended from several groups of people including the indigenous people, Celts, Anglo-Saxons, Romans, Vikings, Normans, etc.)

  33. More lying with statistics.

    Study casts doubt on “hook-up” culture.

    “In fact, we found that overall, sexual behavior among college students has remained fairly consistent over the past 25 years.”

    They didn’t separate the sexes. Women are having more on average, and men are having less. This is the the reality of hook-up culture.

    1. From what my father tells me, during his stint at a college in Kentucky, he never was in a state where the girls were more slutty.

      But otherwise, from the stories I have heard from older folk, girls were just as slutty back “then”, they just didn’t have social media to broadcast their actions. College bars/parties are magical places though. After 6 years of living in a town of 100,000 with 3 colleges, I can attest that the amount of “sexual behavior” going on is not slowing down.

  34. Johnny watts says thats gonna be really cool.

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