A.M. Links: Snowden Leaves Airport Limbo, Congress Knew of Spying All Along, Uruguay Lawmakers Vote for Legal Marijuana


Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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  1. Edward Snowden has finally escaped his airport limbo, says his lawyer.

    Krakozhia is open for business.

  2. Edward Snowden has finally escaped his airport limbo, says his lawyer.

    How low can you go?

      1. Oh, the Mariana Trench is deeper than *that*.

  3. Edward Snowden has finally escaped his airport limbo, says his lawyer.


  4. Edward Snowden has finally escaped his airport limbo, says his lawyer.

    He just needed to stretch to clear a bar that low.

  5. Under widespread ridicule, the FDA suspended regulations that required animal handlers, such as magicians who use solitary rabbits in their acts, to develop detailed disaster contingency plans.

    And then sharknado happens.

    1. Armageddon was just a mistreated pet rock returning for revenge.

        1. How dare Michael Bay be so derivative of Star Trek: The Motion Picture, amirite?

          Although I do think Ben Affleck was the best Kirk.

          1. Any movie where Bruce Willis dies in a nuclear blast is all right with me.

            1. What about movies where he’s dead the whole time?

              1. The only portion that counts is the one where you know he’s dead.

            2. Any movie where Bruce Willis dies in a nuclear blast

              I will admit that Nimoy did a better Spock.

  6. Good for Snowden.

  7. Congressional Republicans say Attorney General Eric Holder gave “deceptive and misleading testimony” when questioned about Justice Department probing of journalists.

    Good thing for him there are no consequences.

    1. WHy should there be? Is he the only one in charge of upholding the rule of law around here?

      1. Well technically….

    2. Well, at least the administration apparently considers journalist-probing a real scandal.

    3. Procedures were followed, yada yada yada.

  8. Worlds greatest male feminist retires.

    1. What are you going to do now?
      Work on getting mentally healthy. I need to get my meds right. Second, I need to get my marriage right. There’s some bad shit that went down. I had an affair, which is very off-brand for me.

      Schwyzer is a mentally unstable philanderer? Who could’ve seen that coming?

      1. “Off-brand” is a hilariously accurate and revealing way to describe it. Not a published use of this product, but one that all the (not-so) underground evidence suggests is effective.

        1. Off-brand is streets ahead!

      2. He also tried to kill a woman, has a long history of drug abuse, was married to a lesbian, his current wife is a bisexual, and he had sex with a much older man in high school because he thought it would be rude to turn him away.

        1. So he is the protagonist in an James Ellroy novel.

          1. To the extent you can make any sense of it, could very well be.

            1. I read a long form review that was about the length of a novelette itself on his last trilogy. Corporations stole Camelot and the American Dream, the protagonist follows, no to weak of a word, worships an Earth Mother Goddess terrorist in order to seek vengeance.

              I feel like a total retard that I ever took Elroy seriously.

              1. I feel like a total retard that I ever took Elroy seriously.

                You should. The Jetsons sucked.

                1. Even the one where the daughter becomes a popstar off of that song that is so horrible it still gives me willies thinking about it forty years later?

                2. BTW, one ‘l’ is enough introduction for any king, especially the king of lame.

              2. Wikipedia:

                Privately, Ellroy opposes the death penalty and favors gun control. Of the current political environment, Ellroy told Rolling Stone in 2009:

                I thought Bush was a slimeball and the most disastrous American president in recent times. I voted for Obama. He’s a lot like Jack Kennedy?they both have big ears and infectious smiles. But Obama is a deeper guy.

                Do not confuse the artist with his art.

        2. In his favour, he did write this sentence:

          I masturbated disconsolately in the shower a few mornings a week.

          1. It really just makes him a joke I’ve made several times.

          2. “masturbated disconsolately” may be one of the funniest phrases ever penned, so we do have to give him that.

            1. sums up an omega personality succinctly, I have to give him that.

          3. was it because he had no hot water?

          4. I prefer to masturbate desultorily.

        3. What’s the over/under on his gender reassignment surgery?

          1. No, he likes being a guy. He set himself up in a field that brings him in contact with impressionable, angry, mannish women, which is his taste.

            1. I sense a SugarFree fiction piece in the making!

              1. I sex, er, second this motion.

              2. shut up you fool! Nothing must distract him from completing the Warty Hugeman Time Travel Adventures, his Dr Who for perverts

                1. I just wish he’d hurry up and finish The Winds of Winter.

                  What? You didn’t know Warty was GRRM? It’s obvious in hindsight, isn’t it?

                  1. Pretty sure the Boltons would be the heroes of the story if that were true.

        4. Also, one of my favorites, he’s proud of forcing some cuckold to raise his son.


          1. I made a promise to Jill before Alastair was born that I’d never ask for a paternity test, nor reveal to Ted the possibility that I might be the biological father of his son.

            He never promised not to write about it on the interweb with a lot of identifying details, however

      3. Work on getting mentally healthy. I need to get my meds right. Second, I need to get my marriage right. There’s some bad shit that went down. I had an affair, which is very off-brand for me.

        Hugo is just the scummiest man to ever live, isn’t he? So if you claim to be a feminist and parrot all of their talking points, apparently it’s totally cool if you almost kill your girlfriend and then cheat on your wife. The man really respects women.

    2. he certainly was funnier than Lindy West:

      After I wrote about Manic Pixie Dream Girls, this guy Chris tweeted, “the number one job of male feminists is to never let Hugo Schwyzer get another freelancing gig.” It got 120 retweets and 140 favorites in an hour. I mean, that wildly overestimates the job, right?

    3. reason you became a punching bag is that there just are not many men writing feminist columns online. Why is that?
      Look at me. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be me? If you look at the men who are writing about feminism, they toe the line very carefully. It’s almost like they take their cues from the women around them. Men are afraid of women’s anger. It’s very hard for men to stand up to women’s anger. I did for a long time until finally my mental health had to be a priority. I just got out of the hospital. I’m not shy about that. I’m sober, but I checked myself into a psych ward for a week, when I became a danger to myself.

      1. “Men are afraid of women’s anger. It’s very hard for men to stand up to women’s anger.”

        Fuck “women’s anger”.

        If it is something real and I am actually a direct part of the problem then tell me in rational terms and we’ll work on it.

        If it is something diffused, abstract, and indescribable in any logical framework then go somewhere else and cry about it. I’ll be here working on my own real problems.

        1. Sounds like you need to get your meds right, you are being very off-brand right now.

          1. Nah.. Just low on Tequila.

            1. I suggest you go and masturbate…..desultorilly.

              My but that’s an awkward end to a poorly penned sentence!

              1. The penis mighter.

        2. If it is something real and I am actually a direct part of the problem then tell me in rational terms and we’ll work on it.

          “You just don’t get it, do you? I don’t *want* to ‘work on it’! And don’t touch me!”

          1. “It’s not about the nail in my forehead!”

          2. For the record : Other than a FWB in grad school I’ve never had a relationship with a woman who wasn’t Hispanic or Asian (not just race but born and raised in cultures distinctly not American).

            But I do have a step mother who spent her entire career working for and managing non-profits inside the beltway. She more than makes up for the lack of drama I have been able to avoid in my personal life.

            1. Fat White Boy?
              Four Wheel Brake?

              1. Friends with benefits. People who like to hang out and occasionally fuck. Or hang out occasionally and fuck. It depends.

                1. In my day, we called them fuck buddies.

                  1. That’s different. A fuck buddy is someone you just fuck, but don’t hang out with otherwise.

                  2. Daddy, tell me again about how you did things in the olden days

    4. The affair was with someone in the same circles that you and I move in, so I have to protect her.

      $20 says it’s Amanda Marcotte.

      1. No wonder she’s been so anti-PUA. She got played by Hugo.

        1. Maybe she realized how much the women he likes resembles dudes.

            1. does anybody “bang” Rachel Maddow? Or is it more of a dull thud?

              1. this is how the world ends
                not with a bang but a whimper

      2. Well here’s some sexting he did in January with this woman. So it’s probably her.

    5. Hugo in sexting scandal, including a video he sent a younger woman where he is masturbating in what looks like a public bathroom.

      Site is NSFW

      1. We’d worry if you linked to sites that are SFW

        For those too chickenshit or professional to click:

        The details of this marital infidelity are not known, but in January 2013, Schwyzer, then 45, had a brief but torrid texting, telephonic and online fling with a 27 year old woman named Christina Parreira, also known is “sex worker activism’ circles as Christina Page ? and in webcam/amateur porn circles as Gabriela “Ela” Stone. According to Parreira, Schwyzer acknowledged that revelation of their fling would be “career-killing” for him ? Hugo has called older men who are “into” younger women ? such as men in their 40s being attracted to and pursuing women in their 20s ? dirty old men and “creeps.”

        Parreira, a woman with ambitions in activism and lecturing, had introduced herself to Schwyzer online in 2012 after reading some of his articles. Like Schwyzer, she has been diagnosed with mental illness (she maintains they both suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder), and likewise acknowledges a long history of suicide, violence, attention-seeking behavior, promiscuity, and reckless drug and alcohol use.

        She has also admitted filing a false police report to pre-emptively discredit her on again-off-again boyfriend, writer/filmmaker Michael Whiteacre (whom, like Schwyzer, she became involved with after pursuing online).

        1. Women don’t file false accusations, especially not feminists, the ur-women.

        2. She sounds like a terrible person, so I guess it was a good match.

        3. Every time I read about people and relationships like these, I realize I should hold onto the squeeze like grim death. Of course, if I did that, I would be no different than these fucked-up assholes. It’s a quandary.

          (BTW, I will be meeting his teenaged son in the next week or so. Zoinks!)

          1. When My dad got remarried I was about 13-14 (I have no idea when their anniversary is) and I have always appreciated my step mom never tried too hard to get me to like her. So, my advice would be don’t try too hard. Being a teenager and all I doubt he’ll mind getting a little less attention from an adult.

            1. The kid is 15 – he don’t need no stepmother. If, by some sort of miracle or spacetime continuum malfunction, I marry the father, the kid will be well into adulthood.

              The more significant thing is he asked if I wanted to meet the kid in the first place, and right on the heels of him meeting my parents. Crazy times.

              1. I didn’t mean to suggest yall marry or that the kid needs a stepmom. I just appreciated her relaxed attitude towards our relationship. He met your parents? Even when you get older that part never really gets less nerve wracking.

                1. Lucky for him my parents are super-awesome.

        4. Hugo has called older men who are “into” younger women ? such as men in their 40s being attracted to and pursuing women in their 20s ? dirty old men and “creeps.”


          Gawd, why would any older man be attracted to a woman in her physical prime? Top Men should investigate.

          1. And yet, women in their 40’s being attracted to men in their 20’s is almost celebrated.

            1. That’s *empowering*, RBS, because he breaks the traditions of the Patriarchy.

              1. it, not he. How did that happen?

            2. There’s all sorts of gender roles nonsense that cut both ways. Men get to age, get fat, but women don’t. Women get to cover up obvious physical flaws without social tut-tutting, but men don’t. Men can sleep around, but women aren’t supposed to. Women get to use sex toys…

              People need to get the fuck over all of this.

    6. Hugo Schwyzer is to feminism what Jimmy Savile was to children’s charities.

      1. I look forward to flogging “off brand” for the foreseeable future as well.

  9. Gratuitously restrictive regulations are as unaffordable in a nuclear power station as in the design of a bridge or dam. With a more reasoned approach to real safety and proper explanatory education, regulations could be relaxed by a factor of up to a thousand without risk and with costs reduced very substantially. Meanwhile, vital economic expansion opportunities that the world desperately needs are artificially debarred. But what if another accident like Fukushima should happen in the next few years? Well, it would be another local accident probably without serious casualties — unless everybody panics and sees it through a lens of ignorance and mistrust, as they have at Fukushima.

    Fukushima, Goiania and the danger from internal radioactivity

    1. Ignorance of basic concepts of radiation is (one) of the great disservices of government education…and one of the greatest triumphs of politically motivated entertainment.

      1. I also blame the nuclear industry for being so unaggressive at promoting its product, its benefits, and properly fighting the regulatory regime over the absolutely ridiculous hoops that the industry is made to jump through.

        1. What are the top regulatory reforms that would allow the industry to flourish?

          1. Reduce the time required to license and build a Generation III+ plant. Stop requiring “nuclear grade” material for everything in the plant. Increase the allowable regular radiation release to a level at least what a coal plant emits during regular operation. Move to a cost-benefit regulatory scheme rather than a safety at any cost philosophy. Do not allow frivolous lawsuits to halt plant construction. License new types of small modular reactors on a fast track timeline instead of taking a decade to give the design an ok.

            1. Isn’t a Japanese company working on micro nuclear plants that require little to no external maintenance and could power an apartment building for 10-15 years?

              1. Yup, the Toshiba 4S.

                They’re planning on testing it in small populated areas too far from power production. I think one was supposed to go to an alaskan town. The unit was free if they tested it out.

                @smilin’ joe

                I seem to remember reading a story about the reactors in france that reuse the spent fuel. Instead of barrels of waste they get a just handful. Why don’t we do that here? Is it illegal, or just too expensive (regulatorily) to build?

                1. General, Carter made reprocessing illegal and we haven’t changed the law since.

                  1. You know, for a child soldier using African warlord, you’re kind of rude.

    2. Ra-di-a-tion. Yes, indeed. You hear the most outrageous lies about it. Half-baked goggle-box do-gooders telling everybody it’s bad for you. Pernicious nonsense. Everybody could stand a hundred chest X-rays a year. They ought to have them, too. When they canceled the project it almost did me in. One day my mind was full to bursting. The next day – nothing. Swept away. But I’ll show them. I had a lobotomy in the end.

    3. Tell you what: we’ll take away the regulations when you give up your liability cap and are responsible for cleaning up your own messes instead of pushing the burden onto the tax payers.

      1. Deal.

      2. You do realize that the only reason liabilities can get completely out of hand is because of irrational radiation fear which was the thesis of the article I posted. The governments ridiculously low maximum dose for the public lead to any release of radioactive particles to become a massive liability. There is little to no reason that most people living around Fukushima weren’t allowed to return to their homes 2 years ago. Irrational fear of radiation levels from Fukushima that are lower than background radiation levels in Denver, Colorado are keeping these people displaced.

        Fukushima is the worst of the worst for any non-RBMK (chernobyl) type reactors. Even the RBMK’s still running in Russia have been fit with containment domes now so they can no longer release the amount of material like Chernobyl. The Fukushima disaster has resulted in no deaths from radiation and likely a statistically insignificant rise in cancer of the exposed population over the next few decades. Link.

  10. Under widespread ridicule, the FDA suspended regulations that required animal handlers, such as magicians who use solitary rabbits in their acts, to develop detailed disaster contingency plans.

    Why won’t someone think of the kittens?!?

    1. Why won’t people ridicule all the other FDA regulations?

    2. Perhaps that’s the secret weapon for rolling back Leviathan–mockery.

  11. The lower house of Uruguay’s Congress voted to legalize marijuana. Now you’ll have an alternative to Amsterdam for those special getaways.

    Related, the crazy Taiwanese animators have tackled US marijuana legalization and the pushback by Big Medical MJ.


  12. This week’s elections in Zimbabwe and Mali were, perhaps, not so honest.

    How did they compare to elections in Chicago?

    1. No dead people were seen voting in Zimbabwe and Mali.

      1. In Zimbabwe, at least, the opposition actually is claiming that dead people were on the roles. Also that younger people (who are more likely to vote for the opposition) were systematically being left off the roles.

        1. Stupid kids, failing to appreciate how hard their government works to rob them…

    2. Less shooting.

    3. candidates from more than one party were on the ballot?

    4. This week’s elections in Zimbabwe and Mali were, perhaps, not so honest.

      In other news, the sun rose in the East this morning and my dog still licks his balls.

  13. Someone here will enjoy this

    The past week has been harrowing for two Barbary macaques in Germany. They fled their enclosure to escape abuse at the hands of a jealous alpha male, only to be caught and promptly castrated.


    1. Were they forcibly circumcised?

    2. Six-year-old Richard, who at 16 kilos (35 pounds) is rather sluggish and slow, was caught the very next day by Silvio Dietzel.

      Fat, castrated and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

      1. His name is Dick? That’s some off-brand right there.

    3. So they basically lived at Hugo Schwyzer’s house.

    4. This is a window into Edward Snowden’s future.

    5. What? Punishing monkey victims now, are we?

      This is worse than the Holocaust.

    1. A cuddly cockapoo trained to fetch meds for her master ? a Manhattan woman who suffers from post-9/11 posttraumatic stress disorder ? may get them both evicted because of her building’s stringent no-pet policy.

      There are no good guys in this story.

    1. This is why the country can no longer have nice things. Liberals fuck everything up.

      1. They do love their icons, don’t they?

      2. It ain’t just the liberals.

        1. No conservatives are capable of leaving politics out of some things. Liberals can’t do thAt. Their entire life is politics.

          1. No conservatives are capable of leaving politics out of some things. Liberals can’t do thAt. Their entire life is politics.

            There are principled liberals just like there are principled conservatives, John.

            1. Nothing to do with principles. Has to do with politics not defining everything in life. and liberals are liberals because politics is everything. That is the nature of being libreral. The political is the personal.

            2. Nothing to do with principles. Has to do with politics not defining everything in life. and liberals are liberals because politics is everything. That is the nature of being libreral. The political is the personal.

            3. That’s sort of an odd statement. I thought lack of principles was pretty much the definition of a progressive. Sort of a built in cognitive dissonance.

              To be a progressive being principled is:

              … discriminating against the right people to demonstrate your commitment to equality

              … prohibiting anything you dislike so that we can be more free. After all, we can’t have free speech if you say vile things like that.

              … demonstrating your commitment to an open mind and reasoned discourse by strawmaning and assigning motive to an opponents actions.

              It is honestly hard to see what a principled progressive argument would actually look like. I tend to disagree with conservatives but some of them seem to have some sort intellectual capacity.

              1. First, there’s a difference between a progressive and a liberal.

                Second, I personally know liberals who don’t politicize everything. They focus on politicizing a few things that they care about most: Income distributions or the environment or whatever. On everything else they take a “live and let live” stance. They vote Democrat because Democrats are closer than Republicans on the few issues they care about. But they don’t tow the party lion on every issue.

    2. You misunderstand how trivial and kitsch his regard for the Declaration is.

      1. It’s kind of like states that put images of the Declaration or the Constitution on the license plates they require owners to display on their cars.

      2. how trivial and kitsch

        like a plastic jesus.

          1. ^^Excellent!

          2. Cool Hand Luke is the best movie ever. Don’t argue, because you’re wrong. Never been a movie better and never will.

            We did that song as part of a high school talent show set back in the day.


            Does anyone else’s preview and submit buttons look different today? Mine are giant and green. Why spend the time to change that?

            1. They bothered reskinning it, but didn’t FIX THE PREVIEW BUTTON (for users who have an email attached to their username such as myself).

      3. In the moment that the hoodie ? Trayvon Martin’s hoodie ? appeared in Courtroom 5D in Seminole County, Fla., it was as if the air sluiced out the door. There was a breathless, aching stillness.

        You misspelled “silliness”.

    3. Basically the way Hillary felt in the presence of the blue dress.

    4. The Foundation, if the board members are the rent seekers I assume they are, would put that, and all other TM related objects, up for sale on ebay TODAY. The shelf life of Trayvon shit is running out fast.

      Somewhere in america, an attractive and/or crazy white woman is killing her family, or being kidnapped, or something – and the cable newsies will flood the zone with her.

      Note: the Trayvon tshirts at the stand at the metro stop were half price.

      1. Were they giving away free Skittles with every shirt purchased?

        1. Next week you’ll get a free tshirt with every bag of skittles you buy.

    5. I’m surprised they haven’t turned his hoodie into the Shroud of Trayvon.

  14. This week’s elections in Zimbabwe and Mali were, perhaps, not so honest.

    And here I thought nothing would ever be worse than the trouble with Chad.

      1. Just stop. You can and will be shown to be wrong.

      2. The media only pick up on these stories when the wrong person’s ox gets gored.

    1. the trouble with Chad.

      Ochocinco is in the news?

      1. An After-School Special: The Trouble with Chad

  15. It should be noted that congress creatures are immune from any prosecution for anything they say on the floor of the house or senate. Thus any of them could have leaked the information Snowden did at any time with no risk of prosecution. But none of them did. Any of them who knew about this and said nothing and are now acting shocked should be called out for their failure to act. Just what did Widen and Paul know and when did they know it?

    1. It also blows away the right wing meme that Snowden is a traitor because he didn’t follow whistleblower protocols, up to and including telling high ranking congresscritters.

      1. No the top men knew about it and thought it was ok. Who is Snowden to question thAt?

    2. How much any given Congress Critter (the technical term) knew probably depends on what committees they are on.

      1. Yes. But some of them knew

        1. “Mr. Snowden … found himself complicit in secret, indiscriminate spying on millions of innocent citizens contrary to the spirit if not the letter of the First and Fourth Amendments and the transparency indispensable to self-government.
          Members of Congress entrusted with oversight remained silent or Delphic.”

          Delphic pretty well describes Wyden and Paul; silent pretty much everybody else except Snowden.

          Snowden’s attorney, Bruce Fein, has written a great letter to Obama, from which this line was taken.


  16. Edward Snowden has finally escaped his airport limbo, says his lawyer.

    Hopefully he used the opportunity to make a pun about how long it felt like he would be there and the Tom Hanks movie The Terminal.

    1. Would anyone even get the reference?

      1. In Soviet Russia, reference gets YOU!

      2. FOE got it in the very first comment to this thread.

      3. Hopefully he cheated like I did and referenced a not-yet-existing pun to make the reference.

        1. Snowden said his time stuck in the airport terminal left him feeling just like Tom Hank’s character from the movie Big.

          1. Snowden said his time stuck in the airport terminal left him feeling just like Tom Hank’s character from the movie Charlie Wilson’s War

    1. The new republic had an article bemoaning the phony IRS scandal. In it it they actually said ” not withstanding Lois Lerners admission otherwise there is no evindence the IRS ever targeted conservative groups. Wow. And the. It wasn’t a scandal because existing groups were not targeted just new ones.

      1. The TEAM is strong with TNR

      2. IRS Targeted Existing Conservative Organizations, Too?!
        Leaders from existing conservative organizations The Leadership Institute and the Clare Booth Luce Policy Institute have made credible claims that they, too, were targeted by the IRS.

        The former has been in existence since 1979, yet the IRS chose to investigate its compliance with tax laws in June 2011, costing it $50,000 in legal fees and requiring it to locate and hand over 23,000 pages of paperwork. The latter group learned in January 2011 that the IRS had selected 2008 to audit — the year one of its leaders went off the payroll temporarily to work for (gasp!) Sarah Palin….

        1. Tax-exempt groups were IRS targets
          The IRS subjected conservative groups already granted tax-exempt status to additional scrutiny during the 2012 election cycle, House Oversight Committee Chairman Darrell Issa (R-Calif.) charged on Monday….

          …He said the Virginia-based Leadership Institute was audited in 2011 and 2012 for activities it engaged in during the 2008 election year, even though it had functioned as a tax-exempt organization since 1979.

    2. Your phoney scandals cannot touch the god-emporeor.

    3. From the second article:

      “For nearly seven years, Senate Republicans had refused to confirm an ATF director ? not because they thought the nominees weren’t qualified, but because they put politics ahead of the agency’s law enforcement mission,” Obama complained in a statement after the vote.

      I am sick to death of this fucking expression. Of course it’s politics. That’s what politics IS, it’s a constant cock block to get your way. That’s what it’s SUPPOSED to be.

      1. And it’s not as if the ATF is closed down or even hindered in any way because there is no officially confirmed director.

        1. Which is why it’s an even bigger joke. The appointees don’t run the bureaucracies. The lifers one level down from the appointees do. Want to fix the ATF? Fire the SES and GS-12 and above pay grades and you’ll see some change. But oops, can’t do that because of civil service protections.

        2. or even hindered in any way

          though I would assume they haven’t been able to run as many guns to Mexico without a director to authorize it?

          1. That’s so 2010. They’re now planning on running guns into Chicago and Detroit.

      2. Just for the record, I want the Republicans to block 99% of what the president and his party are doing. If they did a better job of that, in fact, I might vote for them more often. Assuming they didn’t piss me off in some other way.

    4. Report: IRS Scrutiny Worse For Conservatives
      …A House Ways and Means Committee staff analysis of the applications of 111 conservative and progressive groups applying for tax exempt status found conservative applicants faced “more questions, more denials, more delays,” says committee Chairman Dave Camp, R-Mich.

      That is, when the IRS sent groups letters asking for further information, conservative groups were asked more questions ? on average, three times more. All of the groups with “progressive” in their name were ultimately approved, while only 46 percent of conservative groups won approval. Others are still waiting for an answer or gave up….

      1. So what if I name my group the Progressive Democratic Tea Party Patriot Caucus? Does everything cancel out and I sail through? Do I make some IRS minions’ heads go splodey? Or do I get what’s behind door #3, audited annually for the rest of my life?

        1. Probably, we are talking about bureaucrats and proglodytes.

          If the right wingers were smart they’de put some variation of Barrack Obama in every organization’s name.

        2. Now you’ve done it, Tee.

  17. The Louisville city council had a extreme racist fail last night.

    Despite finding a council member guilty of ethics violations (basically, funneling $80k to family members), they couldnt get the votes to remove her. Every black member of the city council voted not to expel her (also two white members).

    1. They’re all doing it

    2. You can’t expect a black person to live by white ethics.

      1. White privilege holds white’s to a different code of ethics

    3. I remember a few years ago in Oklahoma City that the Oklahoma City Schools superintendent was being investigated for embezzeling over $100k from the school district. He was the first black superintendent of the district. So, of course, this was considered a racist investigation. He did get fired. Can’t remember if they were able to get any money back from him or not. But yeah, there were a lot of black folks running to his side and claiming he was a victim of racism and some other shit.

      1. My wife’s admin ran up $1100 in personal charges on the office credit card. HR still won’t fire her for fear of an EEOC complaint.

        1. my wife’s office has a gay black man with some sort of disability. he’s basically tenured.

          1. That guy needs to check his privilege.

            1. That guy needs to check his privilege.

              Instead, he’ll just collect privilege checks.

    4. Despite finding a council member guilty of ethics violations (basically, funneling $80k to family members), they couldnt get the votes to remove her.

      Motor City Madness is runnin’ wild, brother!

      1. Detroit dreams of a stadium financing deal as bad as the one Louisville has.

        1. You’re not a REAL city if you don’t have a publically-financed money pit/stadium for the amusement of the plebians with plenty of space for the rich to play.

  18. One for the IP obsessives here:

    Australians pay 50-100 percent more than Americans for IT (including tax-free downloads), so a Parliamentary Committee has recommended the Government:

    * create a ‘right of resale’ in relation to digitally distributed content;
    * restrict vendors’ ability to ‘lock’ digital content into a particular ecosystem; and
    * as a last resort, ban geoblocking


      1. Hmmm. Obviously I fucked up somehow to piss off the server squirrels.

        What I was going to ask IFH was how much the National Broadvand Network is responsible for those high prices.

        1. not at all! It’s barely been rolled out and anyway that is the cost of getting online – this is about buying software and other digital content. The prices in question are those set by vendors, who are usually US businesses.


            1. Release the attack dingoes and drop bears!

          2. Didn’t the Brazilian government move all of their computers onto a specially made Debian variant in the 2000s so they wouldn’t have to deal with corporate pricing schemes?

    1. Everyone knows IT is expensive in Aussieland because guys named Bruce are constantly spilling cans of Fosters on the servers.

    2. They don’t need to make laws to make companies do anything, just allow people to get around IP restrictions placed. i.e. do nothing.

      Let people import software rather than buying local versions and ignore the publisher’s lobbying to ban importation, let people use VPNs or DNS tricks to get around geoblocking, resell online goods (things tied to accounts; assuming not copies, otherwise reselling is moot), etc

      1. They could set up an Aussie mirror to Pirate Bay.

      2. Just to clarify

        Let people import software rather than buying local versions and ignore the publisher’s lobbying to ban importation,

        most of our importation restrictions are already gone and the rest will probably go. Physical importation is however moot when so much is sold via download (eg iTunes)

        let people use VPNs or DNS tricks to get around geoblocking

        we can, but not everyone does

        resell online goods (things tied to accounts; assuming not copies, otherwise reselling is moot), etc

        which is one of the suggestions

  19. “I forgot to tell you that the Gingko Blowjoba, or whatever it’s called, was from me.”

    The Enquirer reports the emergence of the tape could torpedo Hillary’s expected run for the White House.

    Just imagine what the emergence of the “torpedo” could do!

    1. People forget how appalling Hillary’s behavior was. Remember all the allegations against Bill were just a vast right wing conspiracy.

      1. That’s why questioning the govt is so patriotic. Because “right-wing conspiracy.


        Oh, wait…

      2. Well, some of the allegations against him were. I’m thinking of the Vince Foster ones.

        1. But she said that in 98 after the Lewinski thing hit.

          1. Or after “the thing” hit Lewinski, AMIRITE!!

          2. I think people on both sides make a common mistake in throwing too many allegations at a hated opponent. The effect often is to make the public tired and unaffected by a real scandal when it comes along. People had been hearing that Clinton was a murder and traitor from his critics so much that when he was caught lying about sex with an intern they were not moved.

            1. No. It is just that the media plays up those sorts of accusations the fri he always make as a way to discredit all attacks against Democrats. The fri he made the same sort of attacks against Bush. The media just ignored it because it didn’t want other stacks discredited.

              1. What is ‘the fri?’

            2. While your general point is true the bulk of the serious allegations against Clinton were that he was crooked (whitewater) and a serial philanderer whose activities amounted to sexual harassment and in one case may well have been rape.

              It is also important to note that the charges leveled against Bill by Juanita Broderick and Paula Jones were both far more serious and credible than those leveled against Clarence Thomas by Anita Hill.

        2. shot in the back of the head = suicide…got it.

    2. It was believed to have been destroyed years ago, but a copy was secretly made and has subsequently surfaced.

      There is ALWAYS a secret copy.

    3. I can’t believe that fat ugly pig is actually back in the “news” again. Maybe a rival democrat looking to undermine Hillary way ahead of time? Or perhaps this is even the Clintons dangling this out there early so that it isn’t a surprise during the election.

      1. I don’t really understand why this would be damaging to Hillary. Is it because a Lewinsky tape might remind American voters that Hillary Clinton was put into a bad spot by a philandering husband, yet handled it with a relative amount of levelheadedness?

  20. -The National Rifle Association and two individuals under the age of twenty-one have asked the Supreme Court to strike down a federal law that bans licensed gun dealers from selling handguns to minors.


    1. My 18 yo son supports this…

      He’s buying an AR. Wants “his own” handgun as well.

    2. 18 to 20+364 year-olds are not minors. Neither are 26 year-olds.

      1. Imagine if we singled out any other age group of citizens like this. What if we said that 40 year olds can’t do X because they are more likely to have a mid-life crisis or if 70 year olds can’t do Y because they might be senile.

        1. It is an odd quirk. Either you are an adult or a minor.

          Of course, my long stated solution to two problems is that the age of consent/majority in a state should be the youngest age anyone has been charged as an adult in that state.

          1. -the age of consent/majority in a state should be the youngest age anyone has been charged as an adult in that state

            I like that.

      2. The 18-21 age range is kind of odd. You’re sort of an adult, but not really. You have all of the responsibilities, but not all of the rights (or privileges). The problem with getting it to change is that once everyone turns 21, they quit caring.

        1. It has always amazed me that the U.S. government think an 18 year old is mature enough to fight a war but not buy alcohol. Yeah, this totally makes sense.

          1. And they can carry government issued guns every day for year-long deployments, but not one they buy with their own money. Stupid shit.

            On federally owned bases (at last back in the 80’s and early 90’s) the drinking age was up to the base commander. Camps Lejeune and Pendleton would let 18-20 year-olds drink beer and wine.

          2. Yeah, I was a squad leader at 19 and signed for a Bradley and all ancillary equipment. They trusted me with a $3.5 million dollar armored vehicle but not a can of beer.

          3. and voting!

        2. They quit caring and then they decide that it would be annoying to have all the 18 year olds in the bars.

    3. Holy shit–the NRA proposing a rollback of a gun control law?!!?? What world have I awakened in?

      1. There will be blood if they’re successful. Flowing in the streets. Because any relaxation of weapons laws ALWAYS results in an increase in gun violence and mayhem. You could look it up.


  21. If intelligence officials are going to be embarrassed, they refuse to do it alone.

    Oh, I think there’s plenty of embarrassment and shame to go around. Congress! Please stand up and be recognized! Mr. President! Mr. Attorney General – you, too!!

    1. Don’t give the government any ideas.

    2. Seriously? they had to bring up Boston as an analogy? Idiots

  22. -A federal jury in Manhattan found on Wednesday that former Gov. George E. Pataki of New York was not liable for violating the rights of six convicted sex offenders who had sued, claiming they were wrongly confined in state psychiatric hospitals after completing prison sentences for their crimes.


    1. Depressing and scary. If they can do it to sex offenders they can do it to anyone.

      1. Indeed. The offenders seem like pretty horrible people, but the precedent this sets isn’t confined to them.

        This part was especially troubling to me

        -Mr. Pataki, a Republican who was governor for three terms, testified during the trial that he asked his staff in 2005 to put the sexually violent predator initiative into effect after he had failed repeatedly over the years to win legislative approval for such a policy.

        He couldn’t get it passed so he just went ahead and did it.

        1. And the consequences of this? Nothing. Apparently the only way to screw up as a pol is to be an adulterer or send dick pics online. Nothing else is important.

          1. Here’s why
            -In their closing arguments, Mr. Pataki’s lawyer, Abbe D. Lowell, and Rebecca A. Durden, a lawyer with the New York attorney general’s office, which represented the three other defendants, highlighted the plaintiffs’ sordid records

            The jury couldn’t look past this cheap distraction to see Pataki’s abuse of power for what it was.

      2. No kidding. All joking aside – this is the type of shit that’s actually scary.

    2. That’ll teach them to urinate in public.

    3. A fourth defendant, Sharon Carpinello, the former commissioner of the State Office of Mental Health, was found liable, but the jury assessed damages of only $1 per plaintiff. The jury had been told to award nominal damages if it found liability against a defendant but concluded a plaintiff had not suffered any injury.

      Because being confined against your will without due process doesn’t constitute injury?

      1. They were sex offenders so who cares? Bad people don’t have rights! I imagine that was the reasoning.

        1. Based on the Pataki administration’s reported ‘defense’, this seems to be exactly the case.

          And I guess the judge allowed such horseshit to be presented to the jurors because “FYTW”.

      2. In fairness to the jury, what if one of the plaintiffs was shreek.

      3. “Have you ever seen One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest?” was the first voir dire question.

      4. Well, they did get some free meals, room, and board.

  23. Bipartisanship strikes again: Congress okays cheap student loans.

    1. Oh noes! They almost had to pay as much interest as I do! The horror!

  24. War on Women: Democrats Covered Up For Filner For Years, Permitting Him Fresh Victims, and Now They’re Doing It Again
    …Stampp Corbin, a close Filner ally and publisher of the LGBT weekly in San Diego, has filed a recall notice to recall Mayor Filthy Filner. Corbin was the first to mount a recall effort when he published a notice in the San Diego Union Tribune on Friday.

    Publishing a notice for a recall starts a 60 day clock for the process…

    San Diego Gay and Lesbian News reports:

    By triggering the recall process on July 25, and without much fanfare, Corbin appears to be taking time away from organizers to mount a proper campaign. And it calls into question whether another recall effort led by land-use consultant Michael Pallamary, who has given Filner until today, July 29, to resign or face a recall petition, can now go forward.

    Corbin has also stated he will not run a paid campaign with staff to collect signatures. If the effort fails, the recall effort would be set back as the rules dictate that there is a six month waiting period if a petition has failed….

    1. So now being pro gay means supporting straight men who assault women?

    2. War? Sounds like this douchebag was trying to make love to women.

      Mandatory vaginal ultrasounds = war.

      1. Bush pig!!! Christfag!!! Let it out shreek.

      2. If republicans had half a brain they’d make Filner and Weiner the face of the democrat party.

        1. Someone is doing a recall designed to fail so the next recall can’t happen for another 6 months.

        2. They can’t for fear of attention turned on their own peccadillos. It’s the same old story in our two party duopoly.

          1. I don’t think so – if there’s any trait both parties share, it’s rank hypocrisy when accusing opposite party members of wrongdoing.

            No, I think this is one area where the Democratic lock down on the mass media really comes into play. They just won’t allow it to happen.

        3. Democrats and low information voters don’t care about little Weiner showing his little weiner to teenage girls. This is practically expected normal behavior for these people.

          1. This goes both ways (reference Sanford, Vitter). Voters for both teams seem not to mind sex related peccadillos.

          2. Then why did Democrats kick Weiner out of the House?

            Do you ever get anything right?

            1. BUSHPIG!!111!!CHRISTFAG!!11!!!

            2. So he could run for NYC Mayor, as he had always planned?

          3. I don’t care about Weiner showing his weiner either. The fact that he lies about it and can’t or won’t control himself in that area is the problem.

          4. “Fool me once”

            They’re OK with it one time. No third chances, though – as we see with Weiner’s current polling.

    3. Filner Lawyer: City Owes Legal Bills Because of Training Failure
      San Diego Mayor Bob Filner’s lawyer argues the city should pay his legal fees in the sexual harassment lawsuit because Filner never received sexual harassment training required under the law.

      California law requires all new managers to receive sexual harassment training within six months of being hired.

      “The city failed to provide such training to Mayor Filner,” Filner’s lawyer Harvey Berger wrote in a July 29 letter to City Attorney Jan Goldsmith. “In fact, it is my understanding that such training was scheduled, but the trainer for the city unilaterally cancelled, and never re-scheduled such training for the Mayor (and others.) Therefore, if there is any liability at all, the city will almost certainly be liable for ‘failing to prevent harassment’ under Government Code Section 12940(k).”…

      1. So Filner moonlighted as a cop?

      2. Filner never received sexual harassment training required under the law.

        He seems like a natural, why would he need training?

      3. He wasn’t trained not to grab women’s asses!

        His lawyer has obviously read up on effective cop excuses for malfeasance.

      4. California law requires all new managers to receive sexual harassment training within six months of being hired.

        It almost sounds like people are presumed to be sexual predators unless “trained” out of it. God bless America.

      5. I was visiting friends in SD last weekend and they were all talking about how much of a creep (many with first or second hand accounts) Filner was before the election and following it up with “well at least he wasn’t DeMaio.”

        1. As I was reading your post, I was thinking “Why the hell do people in South Dakota give a shit about Filner?”

  25. http://www.newsminer.com/news/…..mode=story

    Nobody needs more than 10 rounds!

    1. Best comment:
      “If I had a son, he would look like that bear.”

  26. 5 ETFs Getting Crushed By The Surging U.S. Dollar


    Rotate time.

  27. It’s just insane that people are going so fucking crazy over this “Asian Girlz” song. It’s a mess but it’s obviously deliberately over-the-top and just meant to be silly.

    It’s also really bad the kind of shit the crazies have been giving the model who appeared in the video for being a race-traitor.


      1. Agreed. I had to turn it off after 30 seconds.

        1. It is. The bathtub scene near the end is hilarious though.

        2. I didn’t even make it that far. It’s worse than Sugar Ray and Hanson combined.

          1. I don’t even know who/what Sugar Ray is.

            1. It was a crappy skacore band from the 90’s that decided to sell out and produce catchy chick rock songs in a grand scheme by the lead singer to land a job on Access Hollywood.

              1. Good thing you added the last 14 or so words, or I’d have thought you were referring to No Doubt.

            2. I’m 30 and your comment has made me feel old Thane. Thank you for that Thursday morning pick-me-up.

              1. Any time.

      2. Agreed! First time I ever bothered to dislike something on YouTube.

    2. wtf? (see righthand side)

      I guess that’s what I get for letting Microsoft bribe me into using Bing.

      1. The best part is Harry Belafonte.

    3. Make offensive video, get attention and lots of views, spark debate over racism which gets more attention, rinse, repeat.

    4. Had to google it. Was expecting a ‘oh noes, she’s a man!’ punchline at the end though…

  28. Rand Paul wants to drink with Christie. I’m betting on Christie to win this contest even with his banded tummy.


    1. Kentucky is a moocher state – RP should not pick a fight he cannot win.

      1. Sounds as though Paul is exactly where he should be, and Christie’s where he shouldn’t.

      2. Because people they don’t elect believe in wealth redistribution.

      3. Kentucky produces bourbon, New Jersey does not. This makes Kentucky 1000 times more valuable than New Jersey.

        Now say something nice about Glenn Beck, shrieky.

    2. Christie said Thursday that he doesn’t understand why Paul is so “out of whack” over this, adding “he’s just trying to get attention.”

      Just like a progressive to project his feelings onto everyone else.

    3. It’ll all seem good until the “Rains of Castamere” starts to play…

      1. I noticed that Paul did not offer to visit him in NJ.

  29. Is there anything worse than ginger hipsters?

    1. He brought those six beers to get drunk enough to forget the shame of being a Bengals fan, but they let him down again.

      1. Six beers aren’t going to be enough.

    2. Oh for fuck’s sake – the hipsters have discovered football now? I suppose it was inevitable after these commercials.

      1. Good – football can siphon some of them away from soccer.

        1. But then what would Portland do? That’s their entire fanbase.

    3. haha! The look on Dalton’s face as he shakes hands with whatever that is is pretty priceless. Would love to see a thought bubble above his head.

    4. I don’t know. I think the Beer beard is pretty great.

    5. But is it Weideman or Hudepol beer?

    6. I hate to break it to you guys, but the guy with the beard is…


      1. So the beard is really prehensile rape tentacles and they’re holding the cans instead of the cans being tied in place?

        1. Yes.

          That was a good observation…

          A little too good.

  30. “If intelligence officials are going to be embarrassed, they refuse to do it alone.”

    Between Pelosi, Obozo, Christie, Weiner and the SD mayor, it’s now been conclusively shown that politicos are incapable of shame.

    1. 13.47 lb is the heaviest? I don’t know, sounds like a stretch to me.

      1. Punning makes your balls shrink.

      2. I bet you really strained to come up with that one.

        1. He labored all day on it.

          1. Actually it just sort of popped.

            1. Cut it out!

    2. my legs are so crossed right now

      1. My legs are crossed and my uterus has gone into hiding.

      2. While big babies seem to be on the rise, the Guinness Book of World Records says the heaviest baby ever born weighed 23 pounds, born to Anna Bates in 1879.


        1. Well, granted, Ms. Bates stood 7 foot 5 inches. Her husband, whom she met on the circus circuit, was also a giant. Her children never survived; the baby you mentioned only lived a day. If you read about her and her husband, it’s quite a touching love story.

          1. About her husband:

            His first occupation was as a schoolteacher, but upon the outbreak of the Civil War, he joined the Confederate Army as a private in the 5th Kentucky Infantry in September 1861, rising to the rank of captain within short order. His ferocity in battle, aided by his imposing figure, made him legendary, with Union soldiers telling tales of a “Confederate giant who’s as big as five men and fights like fifty”. He was severely wounded in a battle around the Cumberland Gap area and also captured, although he later escaped.

            I would not want to see some crazy giant in the opposing lines.

    3. The radio said the baby was large due (at least in part) to undiagnosed and untreated gestational diabetes.

    4. Uh, Johnny….there aren’t any pics of the baby being born vaginally in that link.

      Blatant. False. Advertising.

    1. Why would they waste time talking to Republicans? Republicans are, from any objective standpoint anti-science and obstructionist, so why waste time with them? That’s not partisanship, that’s just plain common sense. It’s not the same as those Tea Party groups claiming special tax status, because they’re icky.

  31. Armed agents raid animal shelter for baby deer

    The warden drafted an affidavit for the search warrant, complete with aerial photos in which he described getting himself into a position where he was able to see the fawn going in and out of the barn.


    1. “Could you have made a phone call before showing up, I mean, that’s a lot of resources,” WISN 12 News investigative reporter Colleen Henry asked.

      That would make too much sense, citizen.

      “If a sheriff’s department is going in to do a search warrant on a drug bust, they don’t call them and ask them to voluntarily surrender their marijuana or whatever drug that they have before they show up,” Niemeyer said,

      ’cause taking care of a fawn is EXACTLY the same as drug trafficking. This lady is fucking disgusting.

      Niemeyer denied agents killed Giggles at the shelter. She said they tranquilized her and then euthanized her off-site.

      Need to kill the animal for its own protection… fuck these pigs.

      1. It is against the law to interact with the King’s deer.

  32. NSA Chief Challenges Hackers To Build Better Surveillance Program
    …”Freedom!” one man shouted from the middle of the standing-room crowd.

    “Exactly. We stand for freedom,” Alexander said.

    “Bulls?t,” the heckler said….

    1. NSA Chief challenges freedom lovers to build better police state. And he wonders why he was heckled

    2. “Gosh,” said Alexander to the heckler, “you seem pretty self-righteous for someone who watched ‘Stripper Babes from Planet X’ 6 times on Netflix.”

      1. “And you only called your mother once in the past month, yet you made, let’s see, 45 calls to your bookie.”

      2. “Gosh,” said Alexander to the heckler, “you seem pretty self-righteous for someone who watched ‘Stripper Babes from Planet X’ 6 times on Netflix.”

        Ad hom much, Mr. Alexander?

        1. (Strictly a joke)

  33. Democrats, ever in touch with the priorities of the American people, are preparing to declare war on energy drinks.

    1. Well, you know, one kid with a heart defect died after drinking lots of caffeine, so we obviously have a crisis going on here.

    2. Those fucking soft-drink scum. Keeping the trial-lawyers’ and government’s money to themselves.

  34. “‘Alliance Defending Freedom’s recent analysis of state and federal audits of family planning programs suggests that in 12 states, Planned Parenthood affiliates overbilled Medicaid for more than $8 million. One federal audit of New York’s Medicaid family planning program reported that certain providers, “especially Planned Parenthoods,” had engaged in improper practices resulting in overpayment’….

    “It’s so confusing how a private breast cancer charity choosing not to give Planned Parenthood a couple hundred thousand dollars generated thousands of stories but that same abortion group paying a $4.3 million fraud settlement doesn’t generate hardly any.”


  35. S%P 500 now over 1700 with a strong dollar, low interest rates, and record profits.

    1. Palin’s Buttplug| 8.1.13 @ 10:30AM |#
      “S%P 500 now over 1700 with a strong dollar, low interest rates, and record profits.”

      Keep flogging the crap, shreek. Does wonders for your rep.

      1. It must be wonderful to view Obama’s potemkin economy with optimism and credulity.

        To shield one’s eyes from the horrors of the world is a talent befitting our age.

  36. An update on the guy who put a few splotches of green paint on the Lincoln Memorial.

    (just kidding, it wasn’t the Lincoln Memorial, just some NY churches and synagogues, and it wasn’t a few splotches of green paint, it was a whole bunch of red paint, including overpainting a statue of the Virgin Mary.

    Unfortunately, they’re not limiting themselves to vandalism charges, but are going for so-called “hate crime” charges. Because we have to distinguish hate crimes from all the loving vandalisms and assaults that go on.


    1. If he is catholic, is it a self-loathing crime?

      1. Well, he would also have to a self-loathing Jew since he vandalized a Jewish center (not a synagogue as I initially said).

        1. self loathing atheist?

          1. That would mean he vandalized Libertarian Party headquarters.


          2. Self-loathing Jew for Jesus.

        2. oi, and now I’ve got guilt!

      1. I just assumed it was Mary Stack.

      2. That was quite a spree she went on.

        We should replace all of our public statues of veneration of dead mortals with depictions of scenes from Sugarfree’s slash fic. It would help the human race evolve.

        1. public statues of veneration of dead mortals

          That was ugly. Mind was elsewhere. ‘public statues dedicated to the veneration of dead mortals ‘

          1. Yabut – what about statues dedicated to the veneration of dead immortals??

            1. Those we graft on Sugarfree slash fic instead of eliminating them altogether.

      3. This is downright weird. Prosecutors said she came to the US just to commit vandalism, and she is apparently such an alleged flight risk she’s being held without bond.

        I hope this doesn’t end with elderly Asian women getting profiled!

    2. I think the lesson we’ve learned from this is that we have to ban assault paint. There’s a paint spree, nay crisis in our cities. Children and adult Asian women are being tempted by the siren song of vandalism.

  37. Declassified documents reveal that American lawmakers knew about the NSA’s phone and Internet snooping all this time.

    I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise.

  38. Another oathbreaker deserving the axe of Ned Stark (NSA appeasing caveat — after a speedy and lawful trial, of course). Criticizing congressman considered defamation by staffers.


    Rep Mike Rogers (R-MI) is a former FBI spook turned Congressman. In addition to being an authoritarian creep (he was one of CISPA’s co-sponsors) who hates Internet users (he dismissed CISPA’s millions of vociferous opponents as “14-year-olds in their basement clicking around on the internet”) and loves warrantless NSA spying — he’s also apparently a coward, whose staffers reportedly say that criticizing him on the Internet is defamation. According to a Michigan reporter, they told the press that Rogers could sue Techdirt’s Mike Masnick for “defamation” for closely and critically covering his policies.

    That’s the party that champions free markets and free citizens, folks.

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