A.M. Links: US Paratroopers Preparing for Possible Syria Mission, Pensions Suing to Stop Detroit Bankruptcy, Catastrophic Event Destroyed Mars' Atmosphere

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  • lawsuit couldn't stop the catastrophe
    NASA

    Paratroopers from the 82nd Airborne Division are conducting training exercises in preparation for a possible mission in Syria.

  • Anonymous has posted what it says are the e-mail addresses and passwords of thousands of Congressional staffers.
  • Two pensions in Detroit are suing to stop the city's bankruptcy, saying it violates public retirees' rights.
  • The FBI has placed a hold on evidence related to the killing of Trayvon Martin, including George Zimmerman's gun, which was supposed to be returned to him this month. The Department of Justice is considering filing civil rights charges against him.
  • The police department in Sanford, Florida is conducting an internal investigation into a cop who tased a 57-year-old man in the head.
  • John McCain said immigration advocates are "not winning," while explaining efforts to target certain congressional districts to get an immigration bill passed in the House.
  • A federal judge has ruled owners of the World Trade Center can't collect any more insurance money related to 9/11. They've already received nearly $5 billion.
  • Adam Kokesh, in jail on gun and drug charges, wants to run for president to abolish the federal government.
  • An unknown "catastrophic" event destroyed Mars' atmosphere four billion years ago.

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NEXT: Scientists Say Atmosphere on Mars Was Changed by 'Catastrophic Event' Billions of Years Ago

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  1. The Department of Justice is considering filing civil rights charges against him.

    Justice based on political appeasement is the best justice.

    1. Invisible justice is no justice at all; therefore justice must be visible, and what good is visible justice if no one sees it because it is unpopular? Therefore justice must be what the populace wants.

      QED.

  2. I fear that unless there is significant regulatory and/or energy policy reform, advanced reactors or SMRs will fare little better than current reactors. The central fact is that if nuclear is held to a standard of near perfection, with even a small chance of the release of pollution being considered unacceptable, whereas the competition is allowed to pollute freely, no reactor design will really stand a chance of competing. If cost is no object for nuclear regulations, while even cost-effective requirements for competing (fossil) sources are rejected, how can nuclear compete? I believe, however, that a defensible case for (strategically) trimming nuclear regulations can be made.

    Cost Benefit Analysis of Nuclear Requirements

    1. Nuclear Power Plants : Energy Crisis Solution – 1970’s Energy Sources / Educational Film

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGJsKisZaWA

      ^^^ Greatest vid?o of all time. ^^^

      It’s proof that we, the human race, are stupider than in the 1970s.

      1. Only comment so far is that he makes the comparison that a nuclear reactor is the slow release of energy vs a nuclear bomb which is instantaneous. I know it’s not a technical movie but there is no comparison between a nuclear bomb and a nuclear reactor. Even if the operators of a nuclear plant lost all control of the fission process, there is no way for the reactor to explode like a bomb, or anything even close.

        1. Well technically it would explode but it wouldn’t be a nuclear explosion, just a good old fashioned chemical explosion which in a modern plant would be almost totally confined inside of the containment building

          1. Yeah, except for that steam cloud.

    2. For some reason I dyslexically read that URL as anusclearcafe.

      On topic, they’re absolutely correct. The American people are complete idiots when it comes to nuclear, even less rational than usual.

      1. Nuclear brings out the crazy in people.. its just something I have had to accept in this industry.

        Government regulatory craziness trumps that though. The NRC seems to be actively trying to destroy the industry with which is regulates. There is almost no consideration for cost vs. benefit with the NRC.

        1. Nuclear brings out the crazy in people….

          Is there anything that doesn’t bring out the crazy in people these days?

      2. And much of the rest of the world seems to be even more idiotic about nuclear.

        1. China seems to be going full steam ahead with nuclear power. Same with South Korea and Russia.

          1. Much. I’m thinking Europe and Japan mostly. Places where idiotic public outcry matters.

            1. Very true. Japan will go back to nuclear power though. There is really no other economic option for them.

              France still gets 80% of their electricity from nuclear but the current socialist climate there is trying to bring that down.

              Baseless fear towards any amount of “man-made” radiation from nuclear power is a big problem. That is why nuclear power is held to perfection while coal plants can constantly spew tons of radiation from their stacks. I just hate ignorance.

              Proponents of wind and solar need to point to one industrialized country or even county that can survive on wind and solar alone. That’s what I need to see before I buy into it (hint, they can’t because it will never exist). Backup power sources are always needed which is never factored into the cost of wind and solar generators. Rarely is their 20% capacity factor either.

  3. Detroit files for bankruptcy protection. I wonder if they could solve this by forcing people to pay an extra tax if they buy foreign cars. Is there a special name for that type of tax?

    1. Does it start with T also?

      1. I don’t know…maybe? Perhaps the P.M. links people will be more helpful.

    2. Maybe the Lions repeatedly let their fans down, too.

      1. Good one.

      2. +1 (playoff win in how many years?)

    3. There’s only one auto plant actually in the city of Detroit these days. The rest moved out to the suburbs and downriver (Sterling Heights, Warren, Trenton, Woodhaven, etc.)

      1. It’s like the giant, never-ending party referred to in the Hitchiker’s Guide, that would go from planet to planet, stripping them bare.

        1. You just made me think of something. Are the Necromongers in the Riddick films basically a ripoff of The Nothing from The Neverending Story (directed by Wolfgang Petersen)?

          I think they are. In fact, I think Riddick is a cross between Atreyu and The Childlike Empress, except with goggles on.

          1. Why drive when you can sit back and ride?

  4. Geoscientist finds beavers play a role in climate change
    http://phys.org/news/2013-07-g……html#nwlt

    1. Those little bastards will be the end of us.

    2. Beavers promote a hot, moist climate.

      1. Well done sir and or madam!

      2. But Doc, she was fifteen years old, going on thirty-five, Doc, and, uh, she told me she was eighteen and she was, uh, very willing, you know what I mean…I practically had to take to sewin’ my pants shut. But, uh between you and me, uh, she might have been fifteen, but when you get that little red beaver right up there in front of ya, I don’t think it’s crazy at all now and I don’t think you do either…No man alive could resist that, and that’s why I got into jail to begin with. And now they’re telling me I’m crazy over here because I don’t sit there like a goddamn vegetable. Don’t make a bit of sense to me. If that’s what’s bein’ crazy is, then I’m senseless, out of it, gone-down-the-road, wacko. But no more, no less, that’s it.

    3. So will the AGW proponents be calling for the extermination of all beavers?

      1. WARONWOMEN!!!!!!!

    4. Wynona’s got a big brown beaver.

      1. Thanks for that mental picture…..yeccccchhhh

      2. What you’ve done.

        I done seen it.

    5. I shall attack that beaver with all the might I can muster! After romancing it a bit, of course – it’s not like all beavers are easy to attack.

  5. Adam Kokesh, in jail on gun and drug charges, wants to run for president to abolish the federal government.

    What. An. Idiot. Doesn’t he realize that would put him out of a job?

    1. Libertarians are selfish and act against their own self-interest.

  6. The Drone That Killed My Grandson
    http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07…..inion&_r=0

    The missile killed him, his teenage cousin and at least five other civilians on Oct. 14, 2011, while the boys were eating dinner at an open-air restaurant in southern Yemen.

    Nearly two years later, I still have no answers. The United States government has refused to explain why Abdulrahman was killed. It was not until May of this year that the Obama administration, in a supposed effort to be more transparent, publicly acknowledged what the world already knew ? that it was responsible for his death.

    The attorney general, Eric H. Holder Jr., said only that Abdulrahman was not “specifically targeted,” raising more questions than he answered.

    1. How do you say, “Fuck you, that’s why” in Arabic?

      1. I won’t let me paste the Arabic script!

        1. Dude, don’t be so hard on yourself.

          1. He probably doesn’t want to deal with their RTL bullshit. I can’t blame him.

    2. I continue to wait for facebook friends to change their avatar to represent this particular dead brown teenage boy. I’m not holding my breath.

      1. Well, that’s brown on brown crime, so ‘nothing to see here, keep moving’.

    3. Nearly two years later, I still have no answers. The United States government has refused to explain why Abdulrahman was killed.

      He should have never gotten out of that restaurant!

    4. It says something about the NY Times and its readership that the top-rated comment basically says, “Well, it’s completely obvious why the administration ordered these killings, so this guy isn’t owed a damn thing.”

      What it says is something you already knew, of course.

    5. Before I know how to feel about this, I need to know what he ordered from the cafe. Was it skittles and tea, or something all terroristy like hummus?

  7. Turns out Christine ODonnell’s tax records were leaked the day after she beat Castle in the DE primary. Including the blatantly false charge that there was a tax lean on her home.

    Oops.

    http://www.washingtontimes.com…..nnell-tol/

    1. Funny thing is, they needn’t have bothered. But government-enablers have no sense of proportion.

      1. It was all part of the successful attempt to destroy her reputation and make her unelectable.

        The dems have had dozens of worse Senators in recent years (Carol Mosley Braun, BHO,Patty Murray) that the media actively promoted and covered up anything negative in their backgrounds.

        1. It was all part of the successful attempt to destroy her reputation and make her unelectable.

          An attempt to which she eagerly contributed.

          1. She was a better candidate than the aforementioned three demos.

            And she got roughly the same percent of the vote as Meg Whitman and Carly Fiorina, without spending hundreds of millions of dollars and being actively opposed by her states party establishment.

            If she such a joke why aren’t they?

            1. They kind of were jokes. They had better bios, but no campaign experience and were in a deep blue state so the expected results bore out.

              Look, I’m with you on the point that the legacy media is in the tank for the Democrats, but you’re wasting your efforts on trying to get anyone to care about Christine O’Donnell. If they would have played it straight up she still would have figured out a way to blow it. She ran in the best possible year for Republicans and gained no traction; she was a bad candidate in a tough environment.

    2. Turns out her home was perfectly upright.

      1. I’d prefer a morally degenerate home myself.

      2. Quit liening on VGZ.

        You othering bastard.

  8. Adam Kokesh, in jail on gun and drug charges, wants to run for president to abolish the federal government.

    How will he differentiate himself from the Republican candidate in the eyes of the media, though?

    1. ‘Is there no limit to what this Government will privatise?’: UK plasma supplier sold to US private equity firm Bain Capital

      http://www.independent.co.uk/n…..18029.html

      Danish woman gets diagnosed with MS. Two years later, she runs 366 marathons in 365 days. Screw you, Multiple Sclerosis!

      http://cphpost.dk/sport/marath…..inish-line

      1. The marathon article made my eyes sweat.

  9. An unknown “catastrophic” event destroyed Mars’ atmosphere four billion years ago.

    It was an effect of anthropomorphic climate change. It’s so powerful it can work on other planets, and doesn’t obey your concept of a one directional linear flow of time.

    1. You just know those remote control SUV’s NASA has sent there aren’t doing that planed any good either.

      1. One plan for Mars exploration, which I’ve mentioned here before, actually lists it’s greenhouse gas emissions as a good thing, as it’s a free step towards terraforming.

        1. All the needs to be done now is to locate the giant martian ice melter machine and watch the sky turn blue.

          1. Screw that shit just go find a couple hundred mile wide ice chunks floating in space and drop them on Mars you could rebuild it’s atmosphere PDQ.

            Now how you’re going to keep it there as the Solar Wind starts eroding it I got no clue but that’s a problem for the folks living there 10,000 years from now to worry about.

            While we’re at it lets get to work on bio engineering some alge to seed in Venus’s upper atmosphere so they can start converting CO2 into O2, H2O, and Carbon

            1. Or we could build a pipeline from Venus to Mars and pump the CO2 to it.

              1. wouldn’t work. Mars needs a shitload more mass to retain an earth-like atmosphere.

                1. The loss of the atmosphere would be a slow process. If you’re able to terraform it in the first place, you can easy add enough every few thousand years to replenish the loss.

                  1. “you can easy add enough every few thousand years to replenish the loss.”

                    You can easily transport it from Earth, I suppose.. But it would be a bitch of a job collecting enough CH4, CO2, H20, O2, and N2 in the interstellar medium..

                    1. Why would you try to get it from the interstellar medium when you could just go grab a comet from the Oort Cloud every couple of years?

                    2. “Why would you try to get it from the interstellar medium when you could just go grab a comet from the Oort Cloud every couple of years?”

                      Why would you travel into the Oort cloud to gather laughably sparse gases just to travel a light-year back to Mars to dump it in the atmosphere?

                      If humanity is capable of that kind of travel, why would we bother terraforming a shithole?

                    3. Mining our own solar system for those things would be much more economical and efficient… but dumping them on a cold, dead planet is still a stupid idea. There’s a host of other bodies in our solar system that make better candidates for terraforming than Mars.

                2. Yes I know, I did address that here…

                  “Now how you’re going to keep it there as the Solar Wind starts eroding it I got no clue but that’s a problem for the folks living there 10,000 years from now to worry about.”

            2. A better course of action would be to smash a few thousand meteors into the planet. That way you add mass and (hopefully) enough heat to get its core molten again.

              As much as the idea of a sustainable colony sounds like a good idea, Mars isn’t a good candidate: not enough mass for an atmosphere, not fully differentiated (so no hot, spinning core), too cold and too low pressure for liquid surface water.

              1. Unless you want to live underground, the core is the limfac.

                Agree, Mars isn’t a good candidate.

              2. All your objections boil back down to not enough atmosphere… which again, is only a problem on time scales so long they don’t really matter for human timescales. Who cares if the atmosphere is getting too thin in the year 15000?

                1. No. All my objections boil down to Mars not having enough mass. Not enough mass= not enough gravity to retain an atmosphere. And you keep asserting that its a ‘slow’ process. If Mars suddenly lost enough mass in a collision with a huge asteroid, which is likely what happened, it likely lost a lot of mass AND atmosphere at once. Given that the planet is the same age as the earth and was still molten and hot when this event took place, it’s not clear how much atmosphere it had or could hold to begin with. Terraforming might be a fruitless endeavor.

            3. ????? The lack of a magnetosphere disagrees with you.

        2. We could bottle our extra CO2 and send it there using giant electric rockets.

          1. As long as that electricity was generated by solar panels and windmills, I agree. /sarc

            1. No (physical) wind in space. We better just bring some batteries to hold us over until we get back into an atmosphere and can recharge them.

              1. There’s wind on Mars, though. Once our secret plan to terraform it before anyone gets there is complete, there will be even more wind.

                1. Well yeah, that’s why we recharge the batteries when we get there.

    2. I assume the anthropomorphic was intentional? If not, it’s Anthropogenic Global Warming?.

      1. It was not. However, this is not one of my worst John moments lately.

        1. Well, it’s a decent joke about projecting human insanity on Mars, I suppose.

          1. Let’s go with that.

            1. Very well. Hey, historical revisionism–it’s not just for governments anymore!

    3. Was it paratroopers from the 82nd airborne?

  10. An unknown “catastrophic” event destroyed Mars’ atmosphere four billion years ago.

    Code for Martian Climate Change.

    1. Al Gore held a press conference to demonstrate catastrophic out gassing.

      1. Blew a hole in the seat of his pants?

    2. Probably the Martian geoengineering solution to MGW. (marthropic global warming)

      1. I think you could keep the A. I can’t recall off the top of my head, but there’s some Greek-based adjective for “Martian” that begins with A (from Ares).

        1. I like it. Aresogenic Global Warming.

    1. Federal Government = Sunday Brunch for Political Organizations

  11. ‘Should I tell him to defend himself or just lie there?’ Trayvon’s parents open up about their fears for their remaining son
    Trayvon’s parents made a string of TV appearances this morning
    Tracy Martin said he has ‘no doubt’ that members of the jury were biased

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..g-son.html
    Aw, shit. I don’t know. Maybe you should tell that if someone is following him, perhaps it might be a bad idea to knock the guy down and pound his head into the sidewalk because he might have a gun?
    And why do people keep insisting that Zimmerman was ordered to stay in his car? You could play a recording of the 911 operator’s testimony saying that it was a non-binding suggestion, and they’ll turn around and insist it was an order. I don’t get it. I guess some people just won’t let facts get in the way of what they feel.

    1. It’s like writing a legal brief. You turn everything favoring your side up a notch, and everything favoring the other side down a notch.

    2. Well, you should tell him to defend himself–but for some reason all your supporters think defending oneself should be made illegal. So, maybe tell them to fuck right off?

      Also, ditto on the “order” thing.

      1. What’s fucked up is that they’re claiming that Martin’s initiation of violence was self defense, while Zimmerman’s fighting back was not.

        Seriously. That’s what they’re saying.

        Martin was justified in picking a fight because he was being followed, yet Zimmerman was not justified because, well, because he started it by following the kid.

        So following someone is a crime, while jumping out of the woods and attacking your follower is not.

        I’m starting to think there’s some collective mental illness here.

        1. they’re claiming that Martin’s initiation of violence was self defense

          Well, then didn’t Martin have a *duty* to RUN AWAY?

          1. Nope. He felt threatened and that gave him every right to initiate violence. Zimmerman on the other hand had no right to fight back. See?

            1. Um, because Zimmerman didn’t … feel, um ……. threatened?

        2. I’m starting to think there’s some collective mental illness here.

          Yes, it’s called racism and entitlement.

          Laws should be different for one group of people than another.

    3. 1. Isn’t Zimmerman hispanic?
      2. It wasn’t even a suggestion, was it? I think the wording was “You don’t need to do that.”
      3. Isn’t Tracy a girl’s name?

      1. 1. yes 2. I think it was “we don’t need you to do that”. Who knows what that means in cop talk. 3. I know at least two men named Tracy.

        1. That’s just what I was going to say!

      2. “Isn’t Zimmernan hispanic?”

        No. Let’s get this straight. Zimmerman is a Jewzambo. His dad’s a jew and his mom is a Peruvian Zambo.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zambo

        1. Right, so he’s not white so how can he be racist?

    4. Maybe tell to avoid getting in fights whenever possible. Or call the cops if some creepy cracker is following you. Even if they want to blame Zimmerman for it all, what scenario are they imagining where this couldn’t have been avoided by Martin making some effort to avoid physical confrontation?

      1. No, no, no! Martin’s initiation of violence was self defense! Zimmerman’s reaction to the initiation of violence was vigilante justice! Don’t you get it?

    5. It’s like I tell anyone who will listen. I give orders for a living. Orders are clear; there is no mistaking them as commands. If I meant to give a subordinate an order it would sound nothing like “I don’t need you to do that.” I would say something like “Stop. Remain where you are until further notice.”

      And all this assumes that the dispatcher even has the authority to issue orders, which does not seem to be the case.

    6. I have seen a whole lot of “But Zimmerman was ordered by police to stay in his car!”

      1. It wasn’t an order
      2. It wasn’t by police
      3. The police don’t have the authority to order you to stay in your car in your own neighborhood, anyway…but it says a lot about the mindset of these people that one of the first things they jump to is “But the authorities said you had to!”

  12. He’s part of the family! Ireland Baldwin sunbathes in fringe bikini before taking a dip with boyfriend Slater Trout and father Alec

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..tweet.html
    Sha-wing!

    1. Boy, you must really like Alec Baldwin!

      1. He does look good in a bikini! Hubba hubba!

        1. The mental picture…

          GAHHH!!

          I just mentally gouged my eyes out

    2. They need to learn about antecedents. The way that headline is written suggests that Ireland Baldwin is a he.

    3. Older or younger than her stepmother?

  13. Man: Runner defecates next to my house
    Man says his security camera caught the runner in action
    http://www.koat.com/news/new-m…..82013&ts=H

    The first time was Easter Sunday. The woman jogged near his home, made a turn, heading toward an alley nearby and did her business, the man said.

    “This is malicious fecal distribution,” he said.

    1. You know who else enjoys malicious fecal distribution?

        1. Sandi isn’t malicious.

      1. Occupants of the primate house at the zoo?

      2. Shreeek?

      3. Malia Obama?

    2. I suppose he wants to prosecute deer and turkeys for shitting on his property, too?

    3. “If it happens again, I’m going to run out there with a hose and hose her down and say, ‘Bad human!'”
      hahaha

      But police say she could be charged with public nuisance. Why not make her register as a sex offender? They do it to guys all the time who have to take a piss outside.

    4. Malicious Fecal Distribution.

      Done. Band name. Mine. I’ve claimed it. All mine.

    5. This is much more common than you think. Especially in qualifier races. If I have to drop one, I’ll try to find a business or library. I’ve seen people shitting themselves during a marathon and not even slow down.

  14. ‘I didn’t even know what a camel toe was!’ Prancercise founder on THOSE spandex pants which distracted viewers from her zany fitness routine

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem…..utine.html
    View at your own risk.

    1. Noseferatu!

    2. In her retirement community, she’s a solid 8!

  15. Washington man illegally fires shotgun to scare robbers and blames Biden for the advice
    Jeffrey Barton’s defense refers to the vice president infamously telling a woman to ‘buy a shotgun’ for self-defense during a YouTube town hall meeting
    Police contend that there is no evidence anyone was on Barton’s property

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..bbers.html

    1. you never go full Biden

    2. Does he have standing to sue?

  16. Sheriff’s deputy who ‘tipped off bikini baristas about police raids at Java Juggs espresso stands in exchange for sex’ resigns from his post

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-post.html

    Panico’s bankers later told police that the bills often had a foul smell, and that the woman told them it was because ‘she maintained these denominations in her freezer at home with fish.’

    What the…?

    1. Yeah, sure. Putting the bills in the freezer made them smell like fish.

    2. There’s only 2 things in this world that smell like fish, and one of them is fish.

  17. “Two pensions in Detroit are suing to stop the city’s bankruptcy, saying it violates public retirees’ rights.”

    Do they think there’s a hidden stash of money?

    1. Reality’s got nuthin to do with it.

    2. Oh yes, yes they do. As long as there are people to pay taxes there is always a hidden stash of money.

        1. There are people who pay taxes left in Detroit?

    3. I never knew there was an inalienable right to a public pension.

    4. Yes, taxpayers, either state or Federal.

    5. Look in the “frozen fish”.

    6. There’s always a fight over the last scrap of meat before the carcass is picked clean.

    7. Isn’t Detroit’s museum essentially a hidden stash of money?

      1. We’ve got a million dollar Howdie Doody doll…

        http://www.detroitnews.com/art…../307180040

    8. They can always fire existing workers.

  18. She’s got the legs for them! Laura Whitmore pulls off a pair of leather shorts as she attends summer bash

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..-bash.html
    I’m not sure who she is, but damn them’s some nice stems.

    1. I was disappointed that “pulls off” didn’t mean what I thought it did.

      And who is this young woman?

      1. A “TV presenter” of some sort. She can “present” me all night long. Sha-wing!

  19. Shock report into FBI errors cast doubt on TWENTY-SEVEN death penalty convictions
    Federal review of 2,000 cases from 1985 to 2000 – cases where prisoner is on death row will be given priority
    Results from the study will be released later in the summer

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..tions.html
    I’m sure they’re guilty of something.

    1. Well, now they’re guilty of embarrassing the government. So fuck ’em, as far as Top Men are concerned.

    2. It’s not like I posted that last night or anything…

  20. Man Steals Human Ashes, Thinks It’s Cocaine
    http://www.newschannel5.com/st…..ts-cocaine

    An East Nashville man was arrested after he allegedly stole a box full of human ashes that his family said he more than likely believed was a bag full of cocaine.

    “William thought it was drugs, he thought he’d done found him a box of cocaine is what he thought,” explained the man’s grandmother, Wanda Allen.

    1. Then he done found out they weren’t what he thought he done found

    2. And then he began to oddly resemble the deceased….

    3. Must have thought is belonged to Keith Richards.

    4. South Park did it.

  21. A federal judge has ruled owners of the World Trade Center can’t collect any more insurance money related to 9/11.

    Didn’t the owners know that everything changed after 9/11, including insurance policies?

    1. How much does it cost to build and equip 2 skyscrapers in downtown Manhattan?

    2. But developer Larry Silverstein and World Trade Center Properties insisted through their lawyers that the aviation companies owed at least $3.5 billion for letting hijackers board planes that destroyed three skyscrapers on Sept. 11, 2001:

      Had the airlines been smart, they’d have sued Larry first, for putting those buildings in the path of their airplanes.

  22. Don’t mess! Casual Megan Fox brandishes her knuckle duster iPhone case on the set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..rtles.html

    1. She ruined herself.

      1. And now she’s gonna ruin TMNT.

        Well what is left after Bay is done with it.

    2. I know what I’m getting my wife for her bday, now.

  23. Paratroopers in 82nd Airborne are always training. Whatever the latest crisis is, they train for.

    1. You don’t say.

    2. I vote they send SETAF – about time those lazy slobs did something. Harumph!

    3. exactly, we’re always doing nuke drills too; doesn’t mean we’re about to use them…

      1. So, “nuke drills” are totally different from “private citizen firearms practice”?

        1. Don’t forget teh BAZOOKAS.

        2. Yes, nuke drills are just a bunch of officers reading slips of paper and arguing.

          1. not exactly..

            1. No, not exactly. But pretty much. Been there, got the pin.

    4. Yeah. When they start canceling schools and pull everybody back off leave, then you know the division is getting ready to go play. Training ain’t nothing.

      /former paratrooper

  24. New Mexico jogger caught repeatedly shitting on guy’s property

    more

    1. Lord Humungus has already posted this above. But Simpsons did it first

    2. My office overlooks a city park. I see guys peeing in the bushes every day.

      Yet women are somehow able to hold it in until they reach a toilet.

      1. Maybe they use a different park.

    3. She doesn’t even wipe?! Her running shorts must be fucking rancid.

  25. (Chris) Matthews Apologizes to Black Guests:
    ‘I’m Speaking Now for All White People’
    http://www.nationalreview.com/…..ling-beard

    “I’ll just tell you one thing,” the Hardball host told his two guests. “And I’m speaking now for all white people, but especially [the ones] who’ve tried to change the last 50 or 60 years. And a lot of them really tried to change, and I’m sorry for this stuff. That’s all I’m saying.”

    He was addressing former Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele and Val Nicholas, vice president and creative director at NBC News. The trio had been discussing racism, as well as conversations black parents would have with their children in the wake of the verdict in the Zimmerman trial.

    1. Real white people as opposed to fake ones.

    2. Don’t speak for me, asshole.

      1. Any white person who bothers to point out that Chris Matthews doesn’t speal for them is a racist.

        1. Who is this slob and why shouldn’t I sue him for claiming to speak for me? I didn’t say that, in fact I said nearly the opposite of that.

    3. And I’m speaking now for all white people, but especially [the ones] who’ve tried to change the last 50 or 60 years.

      So like he’s the spokesman for Dr. Who and Marty McFly?

        1. Well I mean think of it. Marty McFly went back in time and convinced Goldie Wilson to quit his job as a janitor and go into politics. If Zimmerman had gone back in time, he have just shot him for mopping the floor in a suspicious manner.

          1. OK< now you fucked it up. *frowns*

          2. Marty McFly is a monster then, he convinced a perfectly nice guy to quit honest work and start a life of crime.

            1. Well duh. Who but a monster would want Chris Matthews as a spokesman?

      1. What a smug bastard. If you are not on his side of everything, you just want to go back to Jim Crow. Fuck you Matthews.

        1. Well, you’re just a house honky…or is that field cracka….?

          HOW DOES IT WORK WITH YOU????

          1. I like those!

            House Honky
            Uncle Thomas (is the full name enough to distinguish?)
            Field cracka’
            Porch Pasty

          2. HEY! Cracker is our word! Just because we call each other cracker doesn’t mean you can use it too.

            And don’t give me that “I only said cracka, not cracker!” excuse either.

            1. Is it all right if I just say “crac” or “ker”?

        2. “What a smug bastard. If you are not on his side of everything, you just want to go back to Jim Crow. “

          You know what pisses me off? The extent Democrats, Progressives, and the Media goes to leave that last most important word off of that phrase.

          It wasn’t Jim Crow, it was Jim Crow LAWS. That’s right, it was their precious government telling stores that they had to have separate bathrooms, water fountains, seating sections, etc for their black clientele whether they wanted them or not. The store owner may or may not have been racist, he may or may not have supported those laws but he had no choice but to follow them and it is a damn good bet that many, if not most businesses would never have implemented that segregation if given the choice because it was simply a waste of money for them.

    4. Why would I authorize Mr. Leg-Tingler to be my spokesman? To the best of my knowledge I’m white, but I don’t recall giving this douche my proxy.

      On behalf of all white people, I apologize to black people for condescending, smarmy idiots like Matthews whose vision of racial justice involves making it easier to scapegoat and convict criminal defendants. What a triumph for race relations *that* would be!

      1. We have white people meetings now? I don’t remember electing him.

      2. Chris Matthews – The White Al Sharpton.

    5. What a pathetic whore.

    6. I’ve decided the best way to handle Matthews and his ilk is pretend they don’t exist. Example, If I ever run into Matthews in DC, I will play dumb like I’ve never heard of the guy or his show. “Oh, nice to meet you. what do you do? been in town long?”

      1. “You have a show? Like, a podcast on your website?”

        1. Oh, is that on public access or something? My dog training mentor has a show on Reston Community TV? Do you know him?

          1. He’d probably drop from brain embolism if you did that.

            1. [picks up paper].
              who is this guy featured on the obit page? had a tv show I guess.

    7. We would all be better off if Chris Matthews stopped speaking for himself. Or just stopped speaking.

    8. What a fucking egotistical, narcissistic piece of shit. Speak for yourself, you collectivist douchebag.

  26. After someone posted a sampling of the recent rash of even worse than usual idiocy from Sad Beard, I had a thought. Some guy or gal is right now working for the Obama team in the West Wing and they have the “Journolist File”. And their job is to feed the journolisters talking points and make sure they all bark at the right time and in the right pitch. Needless to say, this person hates their job. Babysitting douchebag and Sad Beard wasn’t really what they signed up for when they joined the Hopey Changey Express. If it is a woman, I am sure she has resorted to wearing a fake engagement ring and talking about her “fiance” back in Chicago to keep Sad Beard to limit his sending her homemade origami flowers three times a week rather than the seven times a week he was.

    My theory is that this person has started to get through the day by trying to think of the most idiotic talking point to feed Yglesias to see if there is anything he won’t write if the White House tells him. And thus far, they haven’t been able to think of a single thing he won’t write.

    1. Sum Tim Wrong?

      We Too Low?

      1. Ho Lee Fuk?

        1. Bang Ding Ow.

    2. I smell a bestseller. Do you have a literary agent yet?

      1. Can’t decide if it should be a quirky romantic comedy about a women dealing with the advances of a special needs adult and it growing into a lifetime friendship or a fatal attraction like thriller.

        1. you write the romcom, have sugarfree write .. whatever it is he does.

  27. Two pensions in Detroit are suing to stop the city’s bankruptcy, saying it violates public retirees’ rights.

    They’re hoping to turn Detroit into one big retirement community.

    1. I read that as “retirement cemetery”… which would be fitting, perhaps.

      1. For convenience on Election Day they set up voting booths at the retirement cemetery.

    2. I’m thinking more along the lines of [i]Escape from New York[/i].

      1. Call me ‘Snake’.

  28. New Study Shows Plants Talk to Each Other Through the Soil
    http://inhabitat.com/plants-ta…..-the-soil/

    A new study conducted by Dr. David Johnson at the University of Aberdeen found that plants actually communicate with one another through the soil. The study shows that when vegetables are infected with certain diseases, they alert other nearby plants to activate genes to ward off the disease when it heads their way. The key to this communication is a soil fungus that acts as a messenger.

    1. If it turns out that plants have a form of sentience, do Vegans just starve themselves?

      1. We can dream, can we not?

        1. Vegans already starve themselves.

    2. Are these plants called Triffids?

      1. I can’t tell… I’m blind!!

    3. Interesting. So plants are *altruistic*?

      I mean, God *could* have designed them so that a diseased vegetable “alerts” nearby plants to activate genes to increase susceptibility to the disease, in order to lessen competition and thus improve the vegetable’s chance of survival.

      1. I don’t think disease works that way. I wish it did. Then whenever I got sick, I could just give it to someone I don’t like.

        1. This was referring to infectious diseases.

          When you get sick with, say, rabies, you can give it to anyone you like and so improve your chances of getting, say, Twinkies.

          1. But you still have rabies and die.

      2. I think it’s more of “A diseased plant releases chemicals as a side effect that this type of fungus reacts to. If we see that reaction, protect yourselves” as it’s more likely to be the result of an advantageous adaption than some alturistic effort on the part of the diseased plant.

        1. Unbeliever. Plants feel, man. They totally like it when I talk to them.

      3. They aren’t any more altruistic than a member of a herd. And since this functions through another organism altogether it may have evolved as part of a symbiotic relationship than some form of herd protection.

    4. Vegeatable Rights and Peace!

      1. Shut up, Neil! Nobody likes you!

  29. Chicago got downgraded from Aa3 to A3.

  30. Save Water: Drink Your Own Sweat
    http://news.discovery.com/tech…..130717.htm

    Countries like Sweden have lots of fresh water per person and the infrastructure is there to deliver it. In many parts of Africa or Asia that isn’t the case. UNICEF and Deportivo are showing off the machine this week at the Gotha Cup, a youth soccer tournament. Players will bring in their sweaty clothes and get a cup of water back.

    Called the Sweat Machine, and built by engineer Andreas Hammar, the highest technology component is in the filter, developed at the Royal Institute of Technology in Stockholm. The rest is off-the-shelf parts, including a clothes dryer.

    1. Still suits for all!!

    2. +1 Frank Herbert

    3. Muad’Dib is wise in the ways of the desert. Muad’Dib creates his own water. Muad’Dib hides from the sun and travels in the cool night. Muad’Dib is fruitful and multiplies over the land. Muad’Dib we call ‘instructor-of-boys.’ That is a powerful base on which to build your life, Paul Muad’Dib, who is Usul among us.

    4. Somebody tell Kedollarsignha!

    5. Sweden and their wet privelage.

    6. THIS IS WHY ALCOHOL EXISTS.

      When water isnt safe, you drink beer or wine instead.

  31. Woman threatens neighbor over gossip involving sex with a feline
    http://www.krmg.com/news/news/…..sex/nYs4X/

    A woman admits to having sex with her cat.

    Oklahoma City police say this isn’t why Kristina Brown was arrested on Tuesday.

    Instead, she’s accused of threatening a neighbor with a knife because he was telling people about her sexual activities. Police say she faces one count of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon.

    1. That is sick. I hope Warty rapes her first.

      1. Warty has some standards, right…give her to STEVE SMITH instead.

    2. The important thing I learned is that there are apparently 19 states where bestiality is neither a misdemeanor nor a felony. Also, a cat?

      1. She just wanted a little pussy.

      2. moving plans in your future?

        1. No, I’m happy any animals I have will have felony protection from non-consensual sex.

      3. Cat’s love stinky fish.

      4. It’s all good in my state.

        LIVE FREE OR DIE (When a giantic horse penis peforates your colon leading to septic shock)!

        1. Is it? I seem to remember someone getting busted for running an animal brothel in Rindge a few years ago? Maybe it was because of the brothel aspect.

          1. The act of human/animal sexual intercourse isn’t illegal in N.H., but several aspects of it fall under animal cruelity laws.

  32. France drops terrorism charges against Varg Vikernes, but will still prosecute him for his speech

    more

    1. First time I’ve ever heard Burzum referred to as a Rocker

    2. Well, with that name, his speech probably constitutes magic curses.

  33. Conversation about race? Get real
    http://www.politico.com/story/…..94381.html

    In short, let’s take a terrible event and make it a festival for all our ideological and racial ax-grinding and a showcase for our inability or unwillingness to reason clearly. Let’s do it in perpetually high dudgeon and while simultaneously patting ourselves on the back about our fearlessness and honesty.

    Yes, Mr. Attorney General, you are right. This conversation is exactly what the country needs.

  34. I think Kristin may have written this “what its like working for the government” post on reddit. Or any of the other of us who have been there. I got it from a former co-worker who contracted at FL Dept. of Corrections with me. I don’t miss any of it.

    For one thing, government work is not meritocratic. You can work hard and do a good job, but Phil, who is currently sleeping at his desk, will get the next promotion because he was there longer than you. Oh, and the supervisor feels bad for him because he’s got a wife and kids and needs to make ends meet.

    1. Oh, and the supervisor feels bad for him because he’s got a wife and kids and needs to make ends meet.

      This kind of thinking always pissed me off. You choose to have those things. It’s like saying “Oh no, I have a 10,000 square foot house that I have to pay my mortgage for!”

    2. Also, someone gave gold to a one day old throwaway?

      1. I don’t do the reddit thing enough to know what this means.

        1. You can buy a thing called “reddit gold” which is basically an advanced membership that lets you do advanaced filtering, or highlights comments since you last posted, that kind of stuff. It’s about $5 a month, I think. You can also buy it for other people, which people will sometimes do if they think someone else’s comment or post was particularly good.

          A throwaway is an account that someone credited for the purpose of having the post not linked to their regular account. They make an account, post something they don’t want connected to their name, and “throw the account away”.

          The guys username, as well as the age of the account (which anyone can view) indicates he created this throwaway account just to post about his job without it getting back to him. Then someone spent real money to buy him an advanced membership for at least a month on an account which he only planned to use for the one post (and possibly any followup replies).

    3. I didn’t think my wife used reddit, but it sounds like her too.

    4. Who is this Kristin of which you speak?

  35. Sufficiently Noir Title: A Warty Hugeman Time Travel Adventure

    The dame that walked into Warty Hugeman’s office had legs that could stop traffic and a face that just broke your heart. She was distraught. Upset. Out of her wits. With the cigarette haze and smell of cheap hooch hanging in the air she was beautiful. She shut the door behind her and stepped to the slats of the window blind. She parted them barely and looked up and down the street before she spoke.

    “Mr. Hugeman,” she said, her breath ragged. “You have to help me. There are people after me. Bad people.”

    Warty pushed the brim of the fedora back so that she could see his eyes. They seemed to glow in the dim office.

    “What’s the matter?” he asked, eyes screwed half shut from the cigarette hanging from his lips.

    “They are going to kill me like they did my sister,” she said. She was twisting her purse as she spoke. A small graphic in the periphery of Warty’s visual field told him she was carrying a weapon in it, a small caliber gun most likely.. He wasn’t worried. It would never penetrate his ballistic gel skin.

    “Siddown,” he ordered her. He dug in his desk drawer for another glass. It had a couple of paper clips in it, which he shook out. He poured her a stiff three fingers of his pre-war scotch and slid it toward her.

    1. She hesitated before it.

      “Drink it,” he said. “You need it right now.”

      “I’ve never had hard liquor before.”

      “A dame like you? I figured all the boys would be lining up to take you for drinks.”

      “No,” she said, blushing. “That was my sister. She was the pretty one.”

      “The pretty one, eh? She must have been a stone cold knockout then.”

      The woman’s blush deepened.

      “Drink it. If someone’s trying to kill you, no sense having to face them down sober as a church mouse.”

      She pick up the glass and drained it in one go, coughed, but kept it down.

      “Good girl. Now tell me what’s going on.”

      “It’s the matter of our inheritance, Mr. Hugeman. Our father was very well off and when he died it all passed to my sister and me. She hated him. She set out to spend all his money on things he would have hated. Parties, men, booze. Fast cars that she’d leave on the side of the road when she ran out of gas. Houses she’d sleep in a single night and then abandon. Our father died three years ago, and as hard as she tried she still had decades of money left.”

      “What about your inheritance? Did she come after it?”

      “No, nothing like that. She let me do what I wanted. Animals, Mr. Hugeman. I’m setting up shelter for the small things that people reject or hurt.”

      1. Warty knew she was really talking about herself. He had dinner plans a hundred thousand years ago. Mammoth with four or five of his future selves. They would be mad at him if he was late. It was the first time they had mammoth. That even with time travel he managed to be late was a perversity of being young that he had been told he would grow out of. They could subjectively wait. This was the best use he had gotten out of his 1948 private eye office so far.

        “So what happened to your sister?”

        “She was killed, Mr. Hugeman. Shot in the heart with an arrow, of all things?”

        A electric shock rose Warty’s spine until his scalp tickled. “What kind of arrow?”

        “Does it really matter?”

        “What kind? Did the police tell you?” He was leaning forward know, all his extra senses extended around him in an invisible net.

        “Flint and wood. At first they thought it might have been stolen from a museum, but all the parts were new.”

        “Alynne. That bitch.”

        The woman rocked back in her chair. “Excuse me, sir?”

        “Oh, not you, you silly bint. She knows I’m here. She knows I’m in 1948.” Warty pulled his omniwave omniscanner out of his desk. Nothing. She must have learned to mask her signal.

        “Fuck,” he said.

        1. “Sir, I really must object to your language.”

          “Look, lady. This is not about you or your sister. This is about me and a very dangerous woman that’s been trying to kill me for nearly a billion years.”

          “Why, that’s absurd.” She began fumbling at the clasp of her purse.

          “You pull that gun on me and I’ll shove it right up your ass.” Warty stared her down a few more moments before he began pulling gleaming weaponry from the desk. His trusty revolver, looted from Wild Bill Hickok’s grave, the knife he had killed Zombie Space Hitler with, his nuclear maser pistol he had bought in 2638, the year he met Marissa. She had kissed him the first time he had melted a man with that pistol. He ran his thumb along the fractal grip.

          Warty realized she was backing toward the door. “Get out,” he roared.

          He would not die here tonight. He knew that. But Alynne didn’t. So that made her deadly.

          1. That even with time travel he managed to be late was a perversity of being young that he had been told he would grow out of.

            PLOT HOLE.

            Also, I think it’s quiet as a church mouse. Also, it was hinted at last time that we would see the Wartys making out with each other.

            I have more notes if you like.

            1. That even with time travel he managed to be late was a perversity of being young that he had been told he would grow out of.

              Not a plot hole. An aesthetic choice to be a dick.

              Also, I think it’s quiet as a church mouse.

              It’s play on words, you blundering oaf.

              1. The mere fact that you lowered yourself to address my notes diminishes you in my eyes.

                1. I didn’t want anyone to take my silence as consent to your buffoonish jackanapery.

          2. It took you four posts to get to anal play references. You’re slipping.

        2. He had dinner plans a hundred thousand years ago. Mammoth with four or five of his future selves. They would be mad at him if he was late. It was the first time they had mammoth. That even with time travel he managed to be late was a perversity of being young that he had been told he would grow out of. They could subjectively wait. This was the best use he had gotten out of his 1948 private eye office so far.

          Are you plagiarizing Heinlein’s lost draft for The Cat Who Can Walk Through Walls 2: Electric Boogaloo?

          1. That comes later, when Warty Prime makes a human millipede out of Warties that have displeased Him.

            1. But don’t all Warties (Wartii?) think they’re Prime?

  36. Actual description of a film shown on publicly-funded TV in Australia:

    Natalia, a beautiful young trapeze artist, must decide between her lust for Sergio, the brutish Happy Clown, or her affection for Javier, the sensitive Sad Clown, both of whom are deeply disturbed. Winner of three awards at the 2010 Venice Film Festival, including Best Director and Best Screenplay. Directed by ?lex de la Iglesia and stars Carlos Areces, Antonio de la Torre and Carolina Bang. (From Spain, in Spanish) (Cult) (2010) MAV (S,V)

    1. Not that much different from The Unknown, which predates it by only 83 years.

      1. I don’t fuck with no clown shit, yo.

        1. Thank God for that – clowns are disturbing enough.

          1. How do you stop a clown from smiling?

            1. Hold up a mirror.

              1. Hit him in the face with an axe.

            2. Read the charge sheet?

            3. Punch him in his nuts?

    2. The Last Circus. I’ve seen it and it is AWESOME. Forget the politics, it’s just over the top insanity.

      1. cool, thanks for the critique. I’ll nap it from the TV station’s website, get weird and watch it

      2. Trailer…

        Looks like an excellent drug movie.

  37. Paratroopers from the 82nd Airborne Division are conducting training exercises in preparation for a possible mission in Syria.

    Yes. That is what your military does. It trains for the next potential conflict.

  38. Flashback: Obama boasted in 2012: ‘We refused to let Detroit go bankrupt’
    http://washingtonexaminer.com/…..le/2533249

    1. They forgot to type “until after the election” on the teleprompter. Not his fault!!

    2. And in other news, the journalists at the Washington Examiner have finally figured out the concept of metonymy.

      1. What you did. I saw that.

    3. I bet we won’t see Shrieking Idiot or Chony Krugnuts for days after this.

    4. “Detroit” means the auto industry, idiot.

      1. hey, asshat – try reading the article:

        Of course Obama was referring to the auto industry ? alluding to Mitt Romney’s unfortunate New York Times op-ed headline from 2008.

        With the news of Detroit filing for bankruptcy today, his line takes on new meaning.

        1. How does the line take on new meaning?

          The auto industry is back to stay.

          1. GM did go bankrupt…

            1. But Obama illegally circumvented the normal bankruptcy rules to benefit his union supporters, so that makes it better, somehow.

            2. Yes they did – but via a reorg with the Treasury as D-I-P and not a complete liquidation as the right wanted.

              Now obviously, the feds have no business doing that. But GM/Ford would have taken down millions of workers via the auto supply chain.

              1. But GM/Ford would have taken down millions of workers via the auto supply chain.

                Because nobody would ever want to manufacture a car or buy supplies to make a car except GM or Ford

              2. Yeah, because the economy could never survive if a car company went out of business.

                What a fucking moron.

              3. And of course Ford didn’t take any government handout and didn’t go bankrupt.

          2. uh – failure of a Democrat-run town?

  39. Charles Barkley thinks the Zimmerman verdict was correct
    Now that’s jus’ turrble…

    Will Twitter light up with hatred towards Chuckie?

    1. Chuck is not perfect. But he is at least sane and capable of rational thought and acknowledging reality. That puts him in the top 1% of all celebrities.

      1. He also loves buying Patron shots and hitting on your wife. Then buying you Patron shots because you’re married to her. Quite the gentleman, I thoroughly enjoyed the hour I spent surrounded by his entourage.

        1. That is awesome. I would love to meet Chuck. He is a liberal in a lot of ways. But he seems to have some principles and he tells the truth about a lot of things no one else is willing to tell.

          1. My dad met him once and tells this story:

            Walking through hotel restaurant in NYC. See’s Barkley with 6-10 beautiful women at his table. Dad raises his glass and says, “Mr. Barkley, I’m a big fan, it looks like you’r enjoying your evening so I won’t take up any of your time. but you should send the tab to Michael.”

            Barkley goes “that cheap motherfucker never pays for a goddamnn thing.”

  40. Sergio, the brutish Happy Clown, or her affection for Javier, the sensitive Sad Clown, both of whom are deeply disturbed.

    Those student loans from Clown College are ruinous.

  41. http://pjmedia.com/blog/the-sn…..epage=true

    The snob factor among Conservatives. Would they be Cosomotervatives?

  42. Something mentioned in a thread last night that I wanted to dig deeper into, because I have been thinking about it a lot the last two weeks: the difference between progressives and liberals. The two terms often get interchanged here, and that is wrong, as wrong as the idiots who use to call Ashcroft a neo-con.

    So, I have a few issues that distinguish between the two (at least in totality, individuals differ on individual issues of course).

    1. NSA spying on Americans. Progressives support, liberals oppose.
    2. Drug legalization. Liberals support, progressives oppose.
    3. Alcohol. When they arent being neoprohibitionists, progressives like the idea of state ABC stores. See the PA fight (see also, #4)
    4. Unions. Liberals like private sector unions, progressives like public sector unions.
    5. War. Progressives support Obama’s war-mongering, liberals oppose it.

    Anyone disagree with those or want to add on?

    1. I think you give progs too much credit. Basically they support whatever the state does. If the state decides obesity is a national problem, they are all for whatever efforts the state wants to take. If the state decides that we all need to give up our privacy, the progs are on board.

      1. Basically they support whatever the state does.

        Unless the other team is in charge. Then the oppose it. Even if the other team is doing exactly what their team would have done.

        Principals trump principles.

        1. True. They support whatever the state does as long as they are in power.

        2. I think a lot of Republicans could properly be called progressives as well.

          1. Compassionate conservatism basically means anti-abortion progressivism.

      2. Well yeah, I think that was the point in general.

        And you reminded me:

        6. Soda bans, Foie gras bans, etc. Progressives support, liberals oppose.

      3. That’s pretty much right. I’d qualify it a bit. Progressives and liberals often share a view of what the world should be like, the difference is that progressives support aggressive government efforts to ‘make it so’ while liberals are at least somewhat hesitant to go that route.

    2. How are you distinguishing between liberals and libertarians? Is a liberal basically a leftwinger who actually has some principles beyond GOVERNMENT GOOD HURR DURR?

      1. Pretty much.

    3. Add gun bans. Liberals oppose such.

      1. Unless Obama proposes them. Then they come here and tell us how he doesn’t really mean it and it’s no big deal anyway.

      2. Liberals have been gun banners for decades, going back to the 30s. It’s one of the differences between them and libertarians.

    4. 6. Civil Liberties – progressives have no use for them, liberals are strong supporters of them.

      7. Central Planning – progressives love it, liberals recognize the danger of it.

      8. Civil Society – Progressives believe that the government should be the central organizing force for society; liberals believe in a vibrant civil society.

      9. Crime – Progressives are strong crime fighting law and order types; liberals are not.

      There really aren’t many actual liberals left in America, the progressive fascists have pretty much completely replaced them.

      1. Fascists hang out in the GOP as it is a branch of conservatism. They hate the Constitution – in particular the First A (separation of church and state, free speech).

        Conservatives hate due process, the Right to Privacy (they deny we have such), you hate the 17th Amendment (direct election of Senators), the 16th, the 14th (equal protection and birthright citizens).

        You hate the Ninth, the ban on cruel and unusual punishment, the ban on poll tests and taxes.

        “Its just a goddamn piece of paper” a GOP POTUS said.

        1. CHRISTFAG!!! BUSHPIG!!

        2. Fascists hang out in the GOP as it is a branch of conservatisma.

          No it’s not, douchebag. Not in anyway. Fascism is the government management of society and economy, a form of statism and thoroughly leftist in origin and execution.

          They hate the Constitution

          Who was it that complained about the constitution being a charter of negative liberties, what the government can’t do to you but failing to say what the government must do for you?

          Who is it that’s pushing the boundaries of constitutional separation of powers?

          – in particular the First A (separation
          of church and state, free speech).

          Proglodytes hate all of that, have been pushing speech codes and political correctness for decades and are attacking religious practice for just as long.

          Conservatives hate due process, the Right to Privacy (they deny we have such),

          Yes, conservatives are using the government to organize lynch mobs against a hispanic man acquitted of a crime and releasing his personal information as part of that effort.

          you hate the 17th Amendment (direct election of Senators), the 16th, the 14th (equal protection and birthright citizens).

          Only a disingenuous proglodyte would link direct taxation with the end of slavery. The irony – it burns.

          1. Fascism by definition is the bundling of religion, war/conquest, racism, corporatism, nationalism, propaganda, and election rigging al together to make a stronger dominant ruling party.

            See 2001-2009.


            Powerful and continuing expressions of nationalism.
            Disdain for the importance of human rights.
            Identification of enemies/scapegoats as a unifying cause.
            The supremacy of the military/avid militarism.
            Rampant sexism.
            A controlled mass media.
            Obsession with national security.
            Religion and ruling elite tied together.
            Power of corporations protected.
            Power of labor suppressed or eliminated.
            Disdain and suppression of intellectuals and the arts.
            Obsession with crime and punishment.
            Rampant cronyism and corruption.
            Fraudulent elections.

            (Lawrence Britt)

            1. Fascism by definition is the bundling of religion, war/conquest, racism, corporatism, nationalism, propaganda, and election rigging al together to make a stronger dominant ruling party.

              That’s pretty concise description of Obama and the dem’s actions over the last five years.

            2. Obusha checks most of those boxes.

            3. Um, I don’t think that stopped in 2009.

            4. Jesus Christ, dude,

              This list supports my contention that the dems are fascist.

              1)Powerful and continuing expressions of nationalism.

              2) Disdain for the importance of human rights.

              3) Identification of enemies/scapegoats as a unifying cause.

              4) The supremacy of the military/avid militarism.

              5) Rampant sexism.

              6) A controlled mass media.

              7) Obsession with national security.

              8)Religion and ruling elite tied together.

              9) Power of corporations protected.

              10) Power of labor suppressed or eliminated.

              11) Disdain and suppression of intellectuals and the arts.

              12) Obsession with crime and punishment.

              13) Rampant cronyism and corruption.

              14) Fraudulent elections.

              So numbers 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9, 12 & 13 are indisputably features of the current regime.

              Number 5 is happening as anti-sexism the infatuation with feminism and the suppression of traditional masculinity.

              Number 8 is true when you realize that progressivism itself is the state religion with higher education as its point of indoctrination.

              Number 10 is happening as the suppression of individual labor and initiative as opposed to organized labor. (which was sumlimated into fascist government anyway).

              Number 14 is being done through subterfuge, with wholesale vote fraud and using the powers of the state to harass political opponents.

              1. And

                Number 1 is happening with the replacement of the state (government) for the nation.

    5. The two terms often get interchanged here, and that is wrong,

      Agree to a point. Depends on the context.

      democrat=liberal=prog

      as

      republican=conservative=neocon

      When speaking about specific issues, there are differences between progs and liberals as there are between neocons and conservatives and in those cases the proper terms should be used. When talking about who the pig fuckers are going to vote for, they are interchangeable. It’s TEAM RED and TEAM BLUE all the way down.

      1. republican=conservative=neocon

        This is my point, that is false. There is nothing conservative about the neocon movement at all. They are Trotskyites.

        And likewise democrat=liberal=prog

        liberal and prog are not equivalent.

        Democrats have liberals and progressives (and some others). Republicans have neocons and socons (and some others).

        But using the terms interchangeably is wrong.

        1. “AS”

          democrat=liberal=prog

          as

          republican=conservative=neocon

    6. That sounds pretty good to me. About how I would divide liberals from progressives. And I think it is a distinction worth maintaining.

      1. distinction worth maintaining.

        Thanks, that was my point.

      2. It’s a distinction without meaning.

        In most cases, Liberals turn into Progs when they’re in power, just as many Cons turn into neocons when they’re in power.

  43. Big Boss is having a meeting today. Her assistant sends out a scanned copy of the menu for lunch, says email back what you want. I email back what I want. She responds, “Did you get the form? Just complete it and send it back.”

    So, what? I have to print it out, circle what I want, scan it, and e-mail it back?

    Most. Efficient. System. Ever.

    1. Last weekend my company had an outing. The lady coordinating the housing sent out an email telling people where they were staying, with a link to an Excel sheet that contained the list of roommates. If you weren’t in that list, you didn’t have a roommate. When I opened the document the list was blank, so I checked with a coworker and they confirmed the same thing happened to them.

      I emailed her back telling her the spreadsheet was empty, and her response was to just quote the paragraph in her original email which said that you should check the spreadsheet to find out if you have a roommate.

      1. Your company makes you room up with someone? Ick. Pro tip – reply that you’re a chronic masturbater. Instant private room.

        1. The company is stupid to be doing this too. Forcing strange coworkers to room together is just begging for a sexual harrassment lawsuit.

          1. What if someone snores? Sleeps naked? Gets up at 4am to workout. Not to mention being completely uncomfortable sleeping in the same room with a coworker who will know all your disgusting habits going forward.

        2. “reply that you’re a chronic masturbater.”

          This will just get you a more ‘interesting’ room-mate.

    2. Government job, I take it?

        1. Thank goodness!

      1. Government job paying for lunch? With a choice of food?

        That’s so goddamn funny – you should do standup!

    3. Nah. Print it out, circle what you want, and then call her to come pick it up.

      1. Perfect. If I hadn t already scanned it I would have taken your suggestion. But I would also like to actually get a lunch.

      2. Complain that you’re lactose intolerant and allergic to peanuts and that you need a kosher menu.

        cc human resources in your reply.

    4. Wait, so you don’t have like a Sharepoint server or shared network drive for shared document storage?

      What kind of 2 bit organization do you work for?

  44. http://www.foxnews.com/politic…..s-hearing/

    Here we have a black man who is a career government employee. You would think the Dems would love him. Well, they did right up until his doing his job embarrassed Obama.

    1. Someone on TV brought up a great point last night. In the past, when the I.R.S. did political targeting and harassment, it was always elites targeting other elites.

      What makes this scandal so insidious and dangerous is that it’s the first time in American history that they have targeted ordinary non-elite citizens strictly for partisan political purposes.

      1. Yup. The whole weight of government was brought down on middle class people who had the nerve to try and enter the political process.

    2. Shreeky doesn’t understand people’s fascination with this ‘fake’ scandal.

  45. -A dog has died after eating one of hundreds of meatballs laced with rat poison and scattered around San Francisco’s streets.

    It is the first reported death of a pet from the sick hoax

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..z2ZUwDiRBL
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

    1. WTF? Why is someone doing that?

      1. there are sick fucks out there like that who need to be pistol whipped.

        1. I concur.

      2. Have you been to San Francisco recently? The streets there are full of scary and dangerous psychopaths. It’s out of control.

        1. No I haven’t. But I have heard that the homeless have pretty much overrun the place. You would think the rich liberals would be their usual fascist selves in their own neighborhood.

          1. Maybe they thought they were poisoning hobos.

  46. Today on Morning Joke, Mika and Joe expressed their prissy outrage at Putin’s shocking lack of respect for Barack Obama; specifically mentioned was body language in general, and “slumping in his chair” in particular.

    “Sit up straight, young man! And look at me when I’m speaking to you.”

    Thought you’d like to know.

    1. Putin’s lack of respect would be shocking if the subject merited any.

    2. Putin had the hots for that other US President. The one who “could see into his soul” by looking at him.

      1. Well, it was this one that told him to wait until after the next election where he could then help him more.

        1. You know the new START treaty in Obama’s first term was a pretty big deal. It saves us 100s of billions and gets rid of a lot of Russia’s nukes.

          1. I’m not against the treaty, just pointing out that if you want to quote an embarrassing quote by a President regarding Putin Obama has outdone Bush in that area.

            1. (Reuters) – President Barack Obama was caught on camera on Monday assuring outgoing Russian President Dmitry Medvedev that he will have “more flexibility” to deal with contentious issues like missile defense after the U.S. presidential election.

              You think this is embarrassing?

              1. No, shitpile, just dishonest as hell.

          2. Re: Palin’s Buttwipe,

            You know the new START treaty in Obama’s first term was a pretty big deal. It saves us 100s of billions and gets [???] rid of a lot of Russia’s nukes.

            Not “got”, as in “it’s done,” but “gets,” as in “star light, star bright…” with rainbows and unicorns and other girly things.

      2. Every PB post ever, set to music.

        YOU KNOW IT’S TRUE!

      3. Really dude? Your going Boooooshhh!!!! To this, too?

        1. It’s all he’s got.

    3. He was pissed about not getting a bow.

    4. At least Putin didn’t offend the head-of-state of one of our longest-term allies by giving him/her an utterly offensive “gift” all because she was “mean” to his love ’em and leave ’em daddy.

      1. I wish that Putin would give Obama an ipod loaded with Putin’s speeches.

  47. -Animal torture, abuse called a ‘regular practice’ within federal wildlife agency

    It was a productive day for Gary Strader when he pulled his vehicle up to a remote site in northeast Nevada and found nine coyotes caught in leg hold snares set by the federal government. As was routine, Strader, a former trapper with the U.S. Department of Agriculture, signaled his dogs to attack.

    His supervisor, who had accompanied him that day, watched and laughed as the dogs circled the coyotes and ripped into them, Strader recalled.

    “That was regular practice,” said Strader

    Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013…..z2ZUybsKto

    Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013…..z2ZUyFTd2Y

    1. Wow, that is awful.

    2. You are killing me today Bo. Between that and the meatball story. I really hate the world right now. Thanks.

      1. Sorry, just came across both last night. Terrible.

        1. It is. It makes me sick. People suck.

        2. I have no problem with killing ‘yotes. But goddamn, shoot them in the head or something once you’ve trapped them. Don’t stand there and laugh while they get ripped apart by a pack of dogs. That makes you a sick fuck.

          Fun fact: coyotes, wolves and dogs can all interbreed and have fertile offspring. The actual difference between a coyote, a wolf and a dog is real fuzzy.

          1. But guns are evil T. Better to torture them to death than use an evil gun.

    3. Um…guys…

      What do you think those coyotes would do to your family pet if given half a chance?

      Yes, I’d shoot them, as a more humane method, but nature ain’t humane.

      1. Nature isn’t humane, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be.

      2. I know, they are not pets. But it is inhumane and sick not to just shoot them.

        1. I suspect, not positive, that the function of the dogs is to protect livestock and allowing them to kill the coyotes is training to reinforce the desired behavior.

      3. I don’t necessarily have a problem with them being killed (but the government should not be in that business). But torturing them is immoral.

      4. Killing them isn’t the problem, Coyote’s are a dangerous nuisance not because they are malicious but because it is how they survive. This behavior is totally unacceptable however because it is not just killing them, it is barbaric and unnecessary and destructuve to the psyche of the humans engaged in it.

        Also, given half the chance the coyote’s would kill and eat your pets, they would not trap, incapacitate, viciously attack, and then dispose of your pets rotting corpse

        1. they would not trap, incapacitate, viciously attack, and then dispose of your pets rotting corpse

          Um…

          Yes they will.

          They lure the dog in (trap), the pack surrounds the dog (incapacitate), they tear your dog limb from limb (viciously attack) and then eat it (dispose of the corpse… most times).

          And why does eating the kill have any bearing on the situation? Killing to eat and killing to protect your property aren’t any different morally. And besides, many animals kill for sport.

          1. Dang, my doberman would have been fucked. It’d take a shock collar turned up full blast to disuade her from disappearing into the brush.

          2. Hey stupid fuck, I’m not a coyote.

  48. Also, Putin rides horses, and doesn’t wear shirts; simultaneously, sometimes. He’s like some sort of modern day Ghengis Khan.

    I cannot believe they left out the part about being a deranged gun nut who actually shoots his own pistols, instead of having servants to shoot them for him. Maybe they got to that after I changed the channel.

    1. Are you kidding? All of those hosts would get moist in his presence. He’s their sexual ideal. Strongman in total control of a government. They’re just being catty because Obama got to meet him in person.

      1. Exactly, can you imagine if Obama was actually masculine?

        1. Nope. There are no drugs nor any amount of drugs that could lead me to imagine that. And I have an imagination so active the Eveready Bunny wold get dizzy just watching.

  49. 2016 Democrat Dream Ticket .. Weiner/Holder

    1. I think Weiner/Spitzer would be better. Sexual deviants of the world, unite!

      1. Whoosh.

        Also, I believe it’s prohibited for the President and VP to represent the same state. I recall it briefly being an issue in 2000 since Cheney was living in Texas.

    2. Hillary/Weiner or Hillary/Holder — it’s time for a WOMAN!

    3. You win the internets.

    4. And their campaign manager, Dick Hertz from Holden.

    1. Wis he and why do I care?

      1. Who. Jesus, I’m going to have start making my “assistant” proofread my posts.

      2. you don’t, fair enough, but some of the others around here who follow English football would recognise the name.

        German paratrooper who decided to play football in England right after World War 2 (so, he was crazy brave). In the FA Cup Final in 1956 he made two-match winning saves. He then discovered two days later that he’d broken his neck doing it. Massively kind to small kids who asked for his autograph. A gentleman and a legend, even though his played for Manchester bloody City.

        1. Did he want Cleveland Browns as his pall bearers, to “let him down one last time”?

          1. Probably asked his teammates to let him down again. It is Man City.

    1. I’m sure the *filleting* part didn’t help his case.

      Wow.

      1. He got the meaning of filial wrong?

  50. This gorgeous blond I know from Cornell just pointed a photo of her shooting a rifle to Facebook. It reminded me of how I got her number at the end of a conversation I started with “So what can you tell me about Massachusetts gun laws?”

    (The end result from that conversation was me celebrating and drinking enough that I was still drunk during my final the next morning, getting a C on that, but still a A- in the class, and getting blown off a couple times after we both moved to Boston a month later)

  51. Bimbo host on MSNBC just called Detroit America’s fourth largest city. Uh no, it wouldn’t even be the fourth largest city in CA.

    1. At this point its probably Michigan’s 4th largest city.

    2. She probably meant Beloit. 😉

    3. I was just checking to make sure it wasn’t by land area, and found out that Wrangell, Alaska was a “city” with a population density of 1 person per square mile until it was reclassified as a borough in 2008.

  52. Progressives merely want to make the world a better place, by making you a better person; at gunpoint, if necessary.

  53. The FBI has placed a hold on evidence related to the killing of Trayvon Martin,

    “So that we may accidentally ‘lose’ the exculpatory evidence and provide some of our own which we make ourselves.”

    1. I’m sick and tired of this Zimmerman shit but the left really isn’t going to rest until he’s in prison for something or dead.

      This is legal persecution. They want to throw out the entire constitution and violate the spirit of our prohibition on double jeopardy to put him away.

      Zimmerman should try to contact Putin and ask for asylum.

  54. A.M. Links: US Paratroopers Preparing for Possible Syria Mission, Pensions Suing to Stop Detroit Bankruptcy

    At first glance I read that as “US Paratroopers Preparing for Possible Detroit Mission.”

    1. They may be elite troops, but they’re not suicidal.

      1. Any Detroit mission should be handled by the air force and high altitude guided munitions.

        1. nothing that a few MOABs couldn’t take care of

        2. Nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

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