A.M. Links: President Obama's Schizophrenic Government a Muddle, John McCain Wants to Talk Debt With Democrats, EPA Renames Headquarters After Bill Clinton


  • seems more appropriate
    James Ogg

    While promising that his re-election would break the partisan fever in Washington, Barack Obama was privately planning for even more gridlock in Washington. Critics and supporters both worry the man doesn't have a plan for his second term and will continue to muddle along leading a schizophrenic government.

  • Fresh off a deal with Harry Reid that prevented the "nuclear option" on filibuster, John McCain now wants a more prominent role in debt talks, something that worries conservatives.
  • Barack Obama is set to make a speech at the White House today pitching Obamacare to the American people.
  • A Republican Congressman proposes a law that would make it legal for Americans to record conversations with federal employees.
  • Edward Snowden fears he might be killed or kidnapped, according to one of his lawyers.
  • John Kerry says the removal of Mohammed Morsi in Egypt could've averted a civil war.
  • The EPA renames its headquarters after Bill Clinton.

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  1. Colorado town to consider drone hunting license, bounty

    well yeehaw!

    1. Did they ask the Cleveland Browns to let them down one last time?

      1. Was there some sort of news story about something like that?!

        1. Cleveland fan requests Browns “let him down one last time”.

      2. I understand that you can hunt drones, but only if the drones had let you down one last time, or if the drones were in danger of turning someone gay using Golden Girls technology.

      1. what does the bounty pay out in FL?

      2. That wasn’t a drone drone, though, right? Some kind of unmanned F-4?

        1. Yep. So it only pays a quarter share.

          1. Ah, I see.

            We’re going on a drone hunt.
            We’re going on a drone hunt.
            Gonna catch a big one.
            Gonna catch a big one.
            We’re not scared.
            We’re not scared.
            It’s a beautiful day.
            It’s a beautiful day.

        2. Dude if you can shoot down a QF-4 with a rifle or shotgun you get your own reality show! Fuck those pussies on Duck Dynasty.

          1. Introducing a .50 cal bullet to a turbofan creates a catastrophic FOD situation… I’ve been told.

            1. If you can single shot a .50 cal anywhere on an airborne Phantom (or Predator/Reaper) type drone I will worship you as a god!!

              1. The preferred way to shoot down aircraft with regular old bullets (ie nothing that explodes) is to put so much lead up in the air the aircraft is bound to suck some into the engine and/or take some damage to the controls.

                But the volume of fire required is nothing short of insane. There’s a reason they use Vulcans for air defense.

                1. Well, it seems to me that you beat drones with drones. Lots of little minidrones, maybe bee-sized.

                  1. Specially trained ducks and geese.

                    I think Sloopy had a program started.

                    1. Ah, biological warfare. Put chips in animals and insects, and mass attack drones.

                    2. One of the many great things about Command and Conquer: Red Alert 2 was having a navy consisted of mostly trained killer dolphins (and sometimes making them attack your opponents mind-controlled killer squids).

  2. Critics and supporters both worry the man doesn’t have a plan for his second term…

    He could always spend the time campaigning for a third term.

    1. He already started:

      Barack Obama is set to make a speech at the White House today pitching Obamacare to the American people.

      1. Journolist 2.0 has gotten the message. SadBeard has been pushing Obamacare all week with some seriously deranged articles.

        1. HHS last week issued a final rule on how “navigators” (like insurance brokers) are supposed to help with the exchanges. and this thing is supposed to start enrolling people in Oct. right.

      2. He’s like a faith healer…he says magic words, with sincerity, and, ailments disappear!

    2. I was so close with this one!

    3. He could always spend the time campaigning for a third term.

      You should play to your strengths!

  3. Good ol’ uncle joe gettin’ people arrested.


    1. “Deputies have said there was no evidence of prowlers on his property, according to the report.”

      You mean that after he fired the warning shots, and after the cops arrived, there was no sign of any intruders? Well, that proves they were never there!

      1. My prowlers always leave a nice little comment card.

        You have been prowled by Mike. Please take a minute to fill out this card. We strive for an excellent experience while stealing your shit.

        1. “Also, you’re out of milk.”

    2. Never go full Biden…

  4. Prez boasts that Obamacare puts cash in 8.5 million pockets

    Obama is set to give a White House speech in which he is expected to boast how the Affordable Care Act already is giving 8.5 million Americans an average rebate of about $100 per family this summer, just months before new insurance mandates on individuals take effect.

    don’t spend it all in one place.

    1. Yep, they are shaving 10% off my insurance premiums for the next two months. I’ll wait with bated breath to see what percentage increase I’ll be eating over next year’s 12 months.

      1. Got my 10% increase this month. Fuck you BO.

    2. So the plan was to cause premiums to increase by $200, then force the insurers to rebate $100, and then tell consumers they are saving $100 because of Obamacare?

      1. It’s like a present. When the government takes money away, you don’t expect to get any of it back, so when you do (like your income tax refund) it feels like a present.

        1. It’s a penalpresent.

          1. and a penalfuture!

            1. Yeah….I felt so much better when the ass whippin was over!

      2. So the plan was to cause premiums to increase by $200, then force the insurers to rebate $100, and then tell consumers they are saving $100 because of Obamacare?

        “Honey, I bought this great dress on sale for 50% off and saved us $100!”
        “What? That just means we’re $100 poorer!”
        “But I saved us $100! It was on sale!”

        It’s kind of like that.

        1. you got it.

        2. Kohls has that shit on lockdown

        3. I think that was an I Love Lucy episode. Which explains a lot about this administration.

    3. yeah, consultants and lobbyists.


    4. I got a $51 rebate, but my premium went up a good bit more than $5 per month.

    5. Really, this is too rich.

      1. He said he was too rich.


        1. No danger of that in this economy. Mother fucker.

    6. Obama is set to give a White House speech in which he is expected to boast how the Affordable Care Act already is giving 8.5 million Americans an average rebate of about $100 per family this summer

      Of course, what he’s NOT telling you is that money came OUT of the pockets of the other 301,500,000 people.

    7. So where did the cash come from?

  5. Edward Snowden fears he might be killed or kidnapped, according to one of his lawyers.

    His chances double if he makes it to Latin or South America.

    1. I’d rather die in Rio … or pretty much anywhere other than Russia.

    2. I’m thinking his best bet may be to turn himself in somewhere in the U.S. and takes his chances with a jury trial. If he still has something hot to release he can hold that over and plea to something not terrible.

      1. No way. If he did that, he’s going to prison for decades.

      2. Jury trial?


        1. Bag over the head tribunal, pounded in the ass prison.

          1. I’m thinking:

            Bag over the head tribunal, solitary cell in Quantanamo for a very long time.

  6. …John McCain now wants a more prominent role in debt talks, something that worries conservatives.

    Isn’t it time yet to ignore the Maverick?

    1. John McCain now wants a more prominent role in debt talks

      I wish he wouldn’t. He might say something I agree with and I’d be forced to defend him. I couldn’t have that. Not even once.

    2. Isn’t it time yet to ignore the Maverick?

      But he has this big five gallon water jug filled with all the change he saved…….

  7. The long arm of the law gets caught short: Police officer captured on camera ‘urinating’ in parking lot

    Will anything else happen?

    1. He was just powering up his cell phone.

      1. His Obamaphone, no less.

          1. Samsung Galaxy AsparagusNote 2

    2. depends on the totality of circs or something

      1. +1 stare decisis.

    3. Double standard bad and all that, but Pissing in an abandoned parking lot at night isn’t exactly “in public” is it?

      1. I’m sure it would count as “public” if they were enforcing an open container ordinance.

      2. No, it isn’t but if a ‘civilian’ got caught he’d go on the sex offenders list.

        1. In REAL states, this isn’t even illegal.

          1. Unless you do it on that tiny little excuse for an historical landmark in Texas.

            1. lol @ reference, but the Alamo isn’t exactly remote. IIRC, it’s in a pretty public place.

              Though banning him from playing in the entire state was certainly overkill. I mean I think Axle can still play in MO right?

              After the new album is released anyway…

  8. Working on my throne of skulls is just a hobby!

    Austrian man charged after 56 human skulls are found at his home

    An Austrian man is to be charged with disturbing the peace of the dead after police found 56 human skulls and 55 other bones at a museum he had created in his home.

    Police in the province of Burgenland said the relics were taken without authorisation from a church cemetery and had now been returned.

    The 47-year-old man, whose name was not immediately released, came to the attention of police when he tried to sell three skulls and two thigh bones at a flea market.

    1. Who owns the deceased’s body?

      1. Good question.

        All you hear about is “commending the *spirit*”.

      2. The family owns the funeral plot. At a bare minimum it was trespassing with intent.

      3. If there hasn’t been new legislation, a deceased’s remains belong to the family who claims them. If no one claims them, they become government property. The cadaver we had in college was an unclaimed homeless guy. The govt sold his body to the college. I was told that was common practice.

  9. A Republican Congressman proposes a law that would make it legal for Americans to record conversations with federal employees.

    For quality assurance.

    1. so now we have to get explicit permission to record them but they don;t have to in order to record us?

      1. At least in this case we have a Congressman who is willing to grant us blanked permission so it is never an issue again, much better than risking jail to record the conversation

        1. True. Just sad that we now have to rely on the whims of men to grant us our permissions.

    2. Wait, what? Its already legal on 5A grounds. If my conversations may be used as evidence against me, I have a right to record them.

  10. Drunken off-duty police officer fired for pointing his gun at a shop assistant

    Drunken officer appears to point gun at shop assistant several times
    He arrived off-duty at the shop wearing only a bulletproof vest on his torso
    Kyle McCartin has been fired from Tuscon Police in Arizona

    He was still on his probationary period. Had he waited just another two months then he’d have gotten a paid vacation instead of losing his job.

    1. Does anybody in the US even use the term “shop assistant”?

      1. Back in the 80s I think some uber rich socialites had ‘shopping assistant’s.

        1. They still have them today although the term du jour is “Personal Shopper” and I’ve known people who didn’t crack the top 15% of incomes and still used their services.

      2. We do all the time down at “Cane and Monocle”.

    2. That’s not a criminal charge of brandishing a firearm?

  11. Marco Rubio stumbles

    An Iowa primary poll this month found Rubio had dropped to fifth among Republicans, after scoring first or tied for first in two polls earlier this year. The New York Times’s “Five Thirty Eight” blog calculated earlier this month: “In the four national surveys conducted in January, an average of 20 percent of Republicans said they would support Mr. Rubio for the party’s nomination in 2016. That number dropped to an average of 11 percent in the four primary polls conducted in June.”

    All of this leaves the senator in the position of looking like an outlier, not a leader ? not the place a guy with big ambitions wants to be. So Rubio has retreated to other issues, until he gets a better grip on where things might be headed in the House and in any final negotiations between the two chambers. A Rubio adviser contended that he “always knew that getting involved with this issue would likely hurt him with the tea party, and he had a lot of advisors and supporters warning him not to get involved.”

    1. Rubio is such a maroon. He is in the Senate for two years and still can’t figure out Chuck Schummer and Harry Reid don’t have his best interests at heart. “Come on Marco, we like you, we want to help you, just sponsor this immigration bill with us and you will be on your way.”

      1. Just like in Evan Almighty!

      2. Yeah, I can’t fathom how Rubio could possibly think that making deals with Reid and Schumer would be good for him politically. He must truly be a moron.

        1. He’s basically McCain-lite.

      3. He’s done as a presidential candidate.

    2. Music to my ears. This leaves even more room for Rand Paul to be the candidate-to-beat.

  12. Somebody hacked your Clinton-EPA link, Ed.

    1. Thanks, fixed!

  13. Olivia Wilde steals the show in a midriff baring crop top as she flaunts her love for Jason Sudeikis at the ESPYs


    1. I must be a little crazy. There’s something about her face I just don’t like.

      1. One less person in front of me in line.

      2. Same here. I think she’s way overrated.

      3. Valerine Perrine syndrome.

        1. Beware google images. The results from searching for Valerie Perrine contain lots of boobies. Very pert boobies. Bare boobies. Some wet, some dry. Not safe for work.

          1. Perriine has some great 70s boobs. I love 70s boobs.

            1. 70’s boobs hang low in 2013. Banana shaped at best… I’m revoking your man card.

              1. You can like 1940s torpedo tits and 70s squishy boobs too. You only get your man card revoked if you like fake boobs.

                1. Fake boobs look great when the woman is clothed, provided she didn’t overdo it on size. They’re a wonderful fashion accessory.

                  1. Fake boobs look better than no boobs (see girls sarcasmic likes for reference).

          2. Im struggling with what Im supposed to beware.

            1. Beware everything, trust no one.

      4. It has a weird shape.

        Still pretty hot though. But she fails the “hotter than all the women in my office” test.

        1. Not at all impressed.

      5. You’re fucking crazy.

    2. Looks good in movies, looks like a bobblehead in real life.

  14. The EPA renames its headquarters after Bill Clinton.

    Well, I suppose it’s better than if NOW did that with their headquarters.

    1. If elected to Congress, I would propose legislation that prohibits naming any Federal asset for a politician who is still alive.

      1. I would make an exception for sewage treatment plants and toxic waste dumps.

      2. So we kill them? You have my vote.

        1. Bastard! You got there first!

          1. seconded! or thirded…

  15. Somalia did not crack the first ten. See, the lack of roads does help.

    Most Stressed Out Countries

  16. Expensive hangover: Man faces $102,000 bar tab after drinking 52 BOTTLES of pre-prohibition whiskey destined for museum

    John Saunders is accused of drinking the whiskey which he had been charged with looking after
    His former boss testified against him in court on Wednesday
    He faces being charged for the alcohol if found guilty of felony theft and receiving stolen property charges

    Must have been good stuff if he drank four cases.

    1. And if it was still good and drinkable, why the hell was it going to a museum and not being auctioned?

      1. Maybe it was an the museum won the auction?

        1. Homeowner Patricia Hill had been planning to donate the whiskey to a local museum and had asked Saunders to ensure that it stayed safe, but instead police say he drank half of it.

  17. An emotional day! Kate Beckinsale sheds a tear as she unveils blue plaque in honour of her late father Richard


    1. Now she is gorgeous. I’ll leave Brett to claim Sudekis’ sloppy seconds.

      1. Meh.

        1. Read in the comments about the snubbing of a 12 year-old daughter.

          Scummy and dishonorable if you ask me.

          Sounds like the Lennon’s with Julian.

          ‘Imagine’ all the people….acting civilized to one another.

          My cousin died at 41 leaving behind three kids, one from a previous marriage. His widow honors him and her step-daughter as part of the family.

          That’s proper and civilized behavior.

  18. Does NSA know your Wi-Fi password? Android backups may give it to them

    If you’re using Google’s “back up my data” feature for Android, the passwords to the Wi-Fi networks you access from your smartphone or tablet are available in plaintext to anyone with access to the data. And as a bug report submitted by an employee of the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) on July 12 suggests, that leaves them wide open to harvesting by agencies like the NSA or the FBI.

    “The ‘Back up my data’ option in Android is very convenient,” wrote Micah Lee, staff technologist at the EFF. “However, it means sending a lot of private information, including passwords, in plaintext to Google. This information is vulnerable to government requests for data.”

    1. The ability of the government to surreptitiously access your wifi is downright scary, especially if you are in politics or the public eye. How long before someone at odds with the President is found to be downloading child porn from their IP address? The wifi was password protected and there is no evidence of hacking. It had to be them. Right?

      1. I was thinking the same thing – great way to plant evidence of internet wrong-doing.

      2. Unless they are going to start cloning the MAC address of devices on the network, there will be evidence of hacking.

        1. Good to know. Thanks.

        2. It’s not hard to spoof a MAC address. Hell, my router asked me if I wanted it to clone my computer’s MAC address when I was setting it up.

          1. It’s not hard but the reason the router asks that is because your ISP might require it for the connection even to work.

            My understanding is that if there are duplicate MAC addresses your connection is going to be poor because that’s what the ethernet protocol uses to route.

            So, even if someone could sniff and spoof a MAC address from a device on my wireless network, using it would not be transparent.

            Hell, the fact that it wouldn’t be hard would go to reasonable doubt, wouldn’t it?

            1. Hell, the fact that it wouldn’t be hard would go to reasonable doubt, wouldn’t it?

              I do not have such faith in the understanding and intelligence of average juries.

              1. Even if not, if the government were going to frame you in that way, they wouldn’t need your wifi password, they’d just make up the records from whole cloth. Why bother wasting valuable government time downloading something using a spoofed MAC address over a potentially slow connection when they can just make up records at their leisure?

                1. Why bother wasting valuable government time downloading something using a spoofed MAC address over a potentially slow connection when they can just make up records at their leisure?

                  So the “evidence” can be found by a third party (pervy Geek Squad nitwits or an Apple Store “genius”). Much more credible that way!

                  1. The evidence of what they downloaded won’t be on my computer, it will be on theirs. Even if they can show it was downloaded using my wifi, they won’t find it on any device on my network. All they’ll have — again, unless they are just going to plant evidence, in which case having the wifi password is irrelevant — is records that someone did. And it would be more efficient just to make up those.

                    1. No, they need actual server logs from an server proven to have been doling out child porn for the charge to be credible, not they *could* spoof all of that but to do so with sufficient detail that it would stand up to scrutiny is actually much harder than cloning your MAC address and sending requests from your network

                    2. If by “stand up to scrutiny” you mean “use Word to find and replace actual data with the data they want to be there,” it wouldn’t be all that hard.

                      And, yet again, if that’s what they want to do, they’ll come in your back door and physically connect a laptop to your router. If the government is going to gin up child porn charges, a wifi password isn’t what’s going to make them pack their bags and go home.

        3. Unless your logging the MAC addresses the evidence will not be there. With most residential routers the logging is minimal and usually not retained for a very long time.

          1. What’s more likely? A) That they’ll get some random person’s wifi password from a backup of an Android device, use it to access his wifi, spoof his MAC address, download a bunch of child porn, get the logs from his ISP, then prosecute him or B) they’ll know someone they want to target, they’ll break into his house with a laptop and an ethernet cable to do the downloading? Or, hell, just download the stuff onto a computer already in the house?

            It’s bad that the wifi passwords are backed up in clear text but, damn, a little realistic perspective could be useful. Even in the context of “the government wants to fuck you over” there are any number of more efficient ways to do so.

  19. Sadly the word “statist” has been made in Librarian circles what “racist” is in liberal ones; an insult thrown out in lieu of reasoned argument. The term does have meaning when used properly. This post on the frightening spector of Nancy Grace is one of them. Grace is not a liberal or conservative. Her views have on consistent quality; if the state says the person is guilty, they are guilty and anyone who says otherwise is a traitor and someone who supports crime. That is a statist and sadly one that is becoming more and more common.


    1. Sadly the word “statist” has been made in Librarian circles

      SugarFree will need to confirm this.

      1. Yes, yes he will. It is also true of Libertarian circles.

      2. We prefer to call them “clovers.” Or “tulpas.”

      3. One of the librarians I know wouldn’t send an email to me with links in it, b/c of data tracking” so maybe she was concerned about statism.

    2. Nancy Grace really is an awful human being. And sadly is a typical example of a prosecutor.

      1. Nancy Grace is one of the many reasons why I am glad I don’t have cable.

      2. I was in the airport the other day and stuck with her screeching in the background. She was screaming at some guy because Zimmerman wouldn’t take the stand in the trial. Her guest was looking at her like she was insane.

        1. Tell me something, does she refer to Zimmerman as “Tot Mom?”

    3. I try not to use “statist” as an insult, but as a descriptive term to distinguish those who think that the government and the state should be of primary importance in shaping and controlling society and those who don’t.

      1. As I said, the term has meaning. But sadly it is often used to describe “someone who is being less than a true Scottsman on a particular issue”.

        1. A statist like you would say something like that.

          1. Damn straight.

    4. It is unfortunately imprecise. Minarchists are statists, sort of. People who go to church on Easter and feel like there’s probably a God are theists, as was Torquemada.

      Totalitarian is probably a more appropriate word to use, but it conjures up images of North Korea or Nazi Germany or Stalinist Russia, rather than the attitudes and values which, unchecked, eventually lead to such a situation.

      Hyperarchist, maybe, but I think the word should hint at the idea that the philosophy represents not just support for the state, but apotheosis of the state — politheosis or something along those lines.

    5. If someone’s calling you a statist, maybe you need to check your assumptions.

  20. Revenge of the mutant vegetables? Pictures of crops ‘deformed by fall-out of Fukushima nuclear disaster’ sweep Asia. . . but is it all just a hoax?

    Series of snaps apparently showing ‘mutant vegetables’ have emerged online
    They were posted by a Korean website – it is not clear when they were taken
    Fukushima nuclear power plant meltdown worst since Chernobyl

    With a fearsome grimace and a terrible smell…

      1. That reminds me — did the promised libertarian theme song to the tune of Teen Archer ever make an appearance?

      2. oh you just wait…when the Mushroom People Attack the citizens of Fukishima, only then will we all see the devastating affects of Nucular Power on humanity!

        1. They also have pics of Godzirra.

    1. So when will Godzilla be emerging from the shores by Fukushima? Pacific Rim is a documentary, isn’t it?

      1. Should have known someone beat me to it.

  21. Oregon Phases in Country’s First Pay-Per-Mile Program

    The Oregon legislature on Sunday passed a bill that could establish something to eventually replace the state gas tax: A new tax on vehicle miles traveled (VMT) that charges people for every mile they drive.

    Drivers in the new program, which for now will remain voluntary and capped at 5,000 cars, will pay 1.5 cents per mile. Since these drivers are paying for VMT instead of Oregon’s 30-cent-per-gallon gas tax, they will be reimbursed whenever they fill up at an Oregon gas station. Participants in the program will continue to pay the federal 18.4-cent federal gasoline tax.

    1. The only people who would “volunteer” for such a plan would be people who drive few miles but use a lot of gas. As long as the program is volunteer, it will basically be a tax break to gas guzzling cars. How long before the progs wrap their little minds around that and make it mandatory?

    2. So this is a tax raise if you have a efficient car and a tax cut if you have an inefficient car.

      1. They could probably fix that if they added a factor for the weight and/or power of the vehicle to the tax calculation.

        1. Because that isn’t complicated or anything.

          1. The bureaucracy thrives on needless complexity.

          2. It’s not all that complicated.

            Still, I think the gas tax is a better way to do it.

      2. I see it more as the progs’ trial balloon to force people to live closer to where they work, as opposed to commuting 20-30 miles a day. Someone who lives in the city and works won’t be impacted as severely as someone who lives in the suburbs.

        As long as its voluntary, there’s really no point–it’s when they try to make it mandatory that the shit will hit the fan. Progs have held a passionate hatred of the suburbs for decades now, and something like this is a perfect way to socially engineer people to live in increasingly crowded, dysfunctional cities.

    3. Drivers in the new program, which for now will remain voluntary and capped at 5,000 cars, will pay 1.5 cents per mile.

      “I always uphill a lot”, said one volunteer, “so it seems like a good deal.”

    4. What’s the point in this over a gas tax? I mean doesn’t a gas tax do what progs like (encourage less gas consumption)? I really don’t understand why anyone would support this.

      1. Control. They won’t enforce this using the odometer; they’ll eventually use transponders like the ones in those easy-pay toll things to determine how far, and more imporantly where, you’ve driven.

        1. Agreed. It extends control down to the individual vehicle and its usage rather than a generic gallon of gas.

        2. and more imporantly where, you’ve driven.

          AND how fast. Your speeding fine will be automatically included in the bill.

          1. No it won’t. Speeding tickets are a revenue source. If there was a method for catching all speeders, people would stop speeding and the revenue would dry up.

            This is why you rarely see speeding cameras even in places where red light cameras are common; the business model depends on most people getting away with speeding and thus being willing to risk the ticket.

      2. If the prog dream of electric cars comes true, they have to find a way to make up the revenue.

        1. Lectricity tax.

      3. Because it gives the government another means to track a citizen’s every move.

        1. And that’s exactly what I thought

      4. Because they want money?

    5. Aside from the creepy tracking aspects, isn’t this basically a user-fee model for roads? Isn’t that more libertarian than a tax on a substance that’s roughly related to road use?

  22. Cake. They all want cake.

    Cakes as a dating strategy.

    1. Everyone loves cake. That is why cupcakes are an abomination.

        1. Those are *great*, Ted! Thanks! 😎

        2. A friend of mine has a cake on there, I will find a link directly.

          1. http://s3.media.squarespace.co…..ory%29.jpg

            Easier to find than I thought it would be.

            1. Trying again. This links to the page:


              Its the 4th one down.

        3. I see someone’s decidedly not a Bulldogs fan.

      1. I don’t love cake.

        1. Well, pie is definitely better.

      2. My wife and I don’t like cake so we had cupcakes at our wedding instead. To each their own.

        1. Isn’t that still cake, but in a more compact form?

          1. Depends on the cupcake, we picked out 3 different kinds. The tasting session was pretty much the only non-boring part of wedding planning.

    2. I almost started to read this, but then I saw it was from Jezebel. *throws up in mouth a little.*

      Seriously though, cake would make a lot of dates better, I imagine.

    3. He might be saying no, no, no….but all she hears is “who wants cake?”. They do. They all do.

    4. Bars should have a Men’s Night where, in exchange for a cover charge, ladies get to come in, cook something in the bar’s kitchen, and feed it to the men. The men go home with the women who make the best food. I presume the Jezebel people will have no objections to that?

    5. Let me start out by saying that if a woman I don’t know offered me some homemade food at a bar, I would think she was trying to poison me.

      Why does she need a ‘thing’ to meet guys?

      Everybody needs a thing.

      For most women they are called boobs.

      Has it worked out well so far?

      Eighteen cakes and 18 bars deep, Shulman says she’s had “varying degrees of success,” such as:

      I’ve gotten three phone numbers, a business card, a new girl friend, an almost boyfriend, and consumed enough cake to bring on what I’m sure will be a frightening yearly check-up at the dentist.

      3 numbers from 18 trips to the bar, where she is specifically trying to pick up men? That seems like awful “success” for a woman.

      How’d it happen?

      Like most good ideas, accidentally/serendipitously. This one time, Shulman had a leftover homemade cake with her, she ended up at an LA bar

      I think I found out why she’s having so little luck. How much cake do you need to eat to just have a leftover homecake on you on your way to the bar?

      1. an almost boyfriend

        What the heck is that?

        1. He starts crying every time he tries to stick it in. It only works if she rolls over and talks in a really deep voice.

        2. I’m going in a different direction than these guys. I assume it’s a guy using her for an easy bootycall, and she is deluded herself into thinking it’s about to become a relationship.

          1. This seems plausible given the data available

            1. Maybe he just likes cake?

        3. A dude that if she friends with him long enough will probably end up fucking her because he has nothing better to do.

          Basically the female equivalent of a beta male, except this strategy seems to work pretty well for women.

          1. All strategies work well for women.

    6. The writing in that article hurts my brain. Thank you for convincing me to never visit that site again.

  23. Hard-hitting journalism from PBS.

    JUDY WOODRUFF: So, David Madland, let me start with you.

    First of all, how is the dollar amount of a living wage arrived at, and why should some retailers be required to pay it, and not others?

    DAVID MADLAND, Center for American Progress: Well, usually, the standard is trying to get to something above a poverty level wage where you can really start to pay — pay all your bills and not rely on kind of government assistance.

    And so I think that’s partly how this standard, $12.50, for the D.C. bill is set. And the law applies to large retailers, and I think that’s a start. The idea here is that more — larger, more profitable businesses can afford to pay this higher wage. I think, ultimately, you want to apply it to all classes of employers, but it’s a start.

    “Hey Rocky! Watch me pull a hippopotamus outta muh hat!

    1. The guy actually thinks that just because a business is larger then its more profitable. He must have missed all the large companies that have gone out of business since he was born.

    2. I know these people are medacious and retarded. But how hard is it to understand that there is such a thing as a second income. Maybe some people don’t need a living wage because they have a husband or family they live with and just need extra cash. These people really seem to think that no one would ever want to work for some extra money. I guess maybe they are so fucking lazy and or pampered the thought of working a second job or getting one while living with your parents never occurs to them.

    3. Holy fuck, that’s a steamin’ pile of stupid.

    4. Hey, imbecile, what happens when the higher cost of labor leads to higher prices on goods and services and the living wage is now no longer a living wage?

      1. Don’t ask questions they can’t answer.

        1. Don’t ask questions that are beyond their comprehension.

      2. But…but…evil corporations raise their prices just to be greedy and screw over the poor!

        1. We just need some sort of way to control the prices! Maybe the government could be involved somehow?


      3. It’s living wages all the way down!

    5. That conversation was moronic. If you can’t live on your wage in DC, get on the Greyhound to someplace else.

    6. Again?

    7. is this the living wage bill the geniuses in DC passed that ONLy affected Walmart? The funny thing is that the D.C. government doesn’t pay any of its employees anything close to that living wage number either….

  24. Federal judge upholds the force feeding of Guantanamo detainees

    his morning, US District Court Judge Rosemary Collyer denied a petition to halt the force feeding of Guantanamo detainees. In her 15-page ruling, Judge Collyer concurred with her colleague on the federal bench, Judge Gladys Kessler, who ruled recently that the courts do not have the authority to stop the involuntary feedings, while explicitly rejecting Kessler’s argument that the feedings constitute “cruel, inhumane, and degrading treatment.”

    1. So now there is case law that enables us to all be force fed broccolli as part of Obamcare 2.0?!

      1. It’s a penalfeed.

    2. Wait, how do courts not have the authority to stop the involuntary feedings?

      1. I think that means that they do not have jurisdiction over foreign inmates held on foreign soil. But IANAL, so I could be wrong.

        1. If they’re being held under US law then some US court has jurisdiction. If nothing else SCOTUS would, I would think. But even if it’s military law it enters the civilian federal court system at some point.

    3. Wait, I thought the government said the hunger strikes were over?

      1. They were ended by force-feeding the inmates.

        1. Well, I guess that’s technically true. You win again, government, damn your hide!

        1. You’ll be pleased to know that Mountie Python is the Pentagon’s exclusive supplier of force-fed foodstuffs. Python in an IV!

  25. The Case for Abolishing the DHS

    On Friday, Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano resigned to take up a post running California’s university system. With her departure, there are now 15 vacant positions at the top of the department. That suggests it would be a particularly humane moment to shut the whole thing down. The U.S. Department of Homeland Security was a panicked reaction to the Sept. 11 attacks. It owes its continued existence to a vastly exaggerated assessment of the threat of terrorism. The department is also responsible for some of the least cost-effective spending in the U.S. government. It’s time to admit that creating it was a mistake.

    1. Why do you want the terrorists to win?


    2. They’re entrenched now. How many times have they tried to get rid of the Depts of Ed or Energy?

      1. Never?

        1. OK, you got me. Perhaps the better question is how many times have they (GOP candidates) campaigned on or proposed to get rid of those departments and how does that compare with the actual efforts?

    3. That suggests it would be a particularly humane moment to shut the whole thing down.

      Shut down a funded government agency? How would one go about that?


  26. Off-duty AZ cop accused of pointing gun at clerk

    A Tucson, Ariz., police officer has been fired after authorities say he pulled a gun on a gas station attendant while off duty and apparently intoxicated.

    The Pima County Sheriff’s Department notified Tucson police that 23-year-old Kyle James McCartin was arrested early Tuesday on two counts of aggravated assault.

    Deputies were called to a Giant Gas Station and learned two men who appeared very intoxicated entered the store wearing bulletproof vests.

    1. that’s a good suggestion, actually.
      of course you need to check your able-body privilege.

    2. And of course it comes with a “helping hand” from Big Brother. Even New Yorkers are starting to call him Nanny now – it is that bad.

  27. World’s Funniest Carbon-Based Lifeform discusses body hair.

    And for those afraid to click the link, I’ll just tell you the good news up front: She hasn’t shaved her legs in a year.

    1. And for those afraid to click the link, I’ll just tell you the good news up front: She hasn’t shaved her legs in a year.

      Meh. That’s like finding a scratch on your car after you’ve wrapped it around a telephone pole.

    2. How many times is patriarchy mentioned?

    3. Pics or it didn’t happen.

  28. The U.S. Department of Homeland Security was a panicked reaction to the Sept. 11 attacks. It owes its continued existence to a vastly exaggerated assessment of the threat of terrorism.

    That was in Business Week? Hizzoner will be pissed.

  29. Immigration could hinge on August recess

    Instead of only the 30 to 40 Republicans Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) privately estimated to be against the comprehensive Senate bill, the GOP leadership pegs the number at roughly 180. The number of supporters can be counted “on one hand,” a senior GOP aide said.

    Schumer “obviously doesn’t know much about my church or the high-tech industry in my district,” said Bishop, who has served in the statehouse and Congress for more than 25 years. “It shows somewhat of a naivet? on the part of the Senate. But dude, you’re dealing with the Senate. Look up naivet?, and you’ll see their picture.”

    1. Its not naivete, its being bought and paid for and living inside the bubble.

  30. TSA searches cars

    John McCaffery, TSA, said, “No, those vehicles that are in the garage, short term long term parking, even if they carry pretty large amounts of explosives, they would not cause damage to the front of the airport. But for those who use the valet, the car could be there for a half hour or an hour so there is a vulnerability.”

    Why does TSA hate airport garages?

  31. DHS as it is needs to die. But I think having an organization separate from DOJ that does border, immigration and customs makes a lot of sense. But kill off NPPD, move the Secret Service back to Treasury where it belongs, and take FEMA out in back and shoot it in the head.

    1. And save a bullet for TSA as well.

      1. Use valet parking at the airport? TSA gonna search your car.


        1. Because there is such a threat of someone planting a bomb in a valet parked car in Rochester. That is called “we have no purpose for being here so are just going to make shit up and pretend it helps and also do the bidding of the local police.”


    2. Kill ’em all and don’t start over.

  32. Forgot to mention that I went to a funeral – well, the visitation – last weekend. The guy – who died in a motorcycle accident – was cremated. As I stepped into the big room, I kept looking around for the casket or urn.

    Turns out the deceased was cremated – but I still think a casket or some sort of prop that the mourners could say their final goodbyes to would have helped. Instead there were just a few pictures. My wife said there was a distinct lack of closure.

    1. I must be different than most. I have never gotten a single bit of closure from going to a funeral of a loved one. I went out of respect and a sense of duty. But I can’t say I benefited from it. I think the Irish have it right. Have a wake and get drunk. The black community in New Orleans has it right too, march the body out to the grave and have a huge party on the way back.

      1. I’m with you, John. My mother was cremated. No body (or urn) at the funeral. But a lot of pictures and loving (and some funny) stories about her. I’m not even sure what “closure” is suppose to mean. I mean, if you can’t accept someone’s death emotionally, I’m not sure how seeing an embalmed body (Christ, how I hate that) is supposed to help.

        1. I am with you on the body. What always amazed me is how so many religious people get so much closure from seeing the body. If you believe in the soul, that is not them you are seeing. So where is the closure? I don’t get it. I understand why some people don’t want to be cremated. And a graveside service is appropriate. You have to do something. But why a big funeral brings any closure or comfort that a wake wouldn’t is beyond me.

          1. You’re supposed to see them at peace or something. All I see is rotting meat.

            1. And that is crazy from any perspective. If you are an atheist, it is a dead piece of flesh. If you are a theist, it is the discarded shell of their real being.

              I honestly can’t see a metaphysical view that is consistent with.

              1. Cultural holdover from the Egyptians? There are plenty of religions where the state of the physical body affects the state of the spirit.

                Also, sometimes it’s just about proving they’re actually dead.

                1. Two things. Making sure the person is actually dead, which before modern medicine was a real issue. And the old but no longer believed Christian idea that you had to have a body for God to ever resurrect you, as if the creator and essence of being couldn’t make you another one.

                  But that just explains why we bury the body. It doesn’t explain why people get closure from doing so.

                  1. But that just explains why we bury the body. It doesn’t explain why people get closure from doing so.

                    Cultural habits die hard. Rituals provide people with a sense of completion.

                  2. I think it makes people see the truth of the situation. If someone just tells you that someone died, you can put it out of your mind like a relative that you never see. If you go see the body lying in a casket with flabby skin and bad makeup it forces you to confront the issue and deal with it. But YMMV. I go out of respect, personally. Or to pick up chicks.

            2. What needs to go away is the funeral procession. You’re in mourning so that gives you some weird right to run red lights? Fuck you.

              I’ve seen a couple of instances where cars in the procession, being dawdling assholes, almost got their own funeral from large trucks going through their green light and nearly taking several cars out. And don’t get me started on the massive police funeral processions that close down entire roads. FUCK YOU.

              Everyone has GPS now or can read a Google map printout and can meet at the cemetery. Take your Medieval practices and shove them up your ass.

          2. I’ve actually written about my wishes for my funeral. I want to be cremated and have my ashes embedded in bricks. (I’ll have the bricks pre-made, engraved with “R.I.P. Citizen Nothing” and with small holes into which a mixture of cremains and glue can be added.) After a big party, all my friends and family take the bricks and throw them through the windows of the statehouse. (I’ll also bequest a large fund to help the slow ones make bail.)

            1. I’m hoping not to die.

      2. I already told my wife to cremate me, put some bits in an urn, have a keg party to get my Irish relatives to show up, and then give me away each year at Christmas as a white elephant present. Sure the first few years, people will pretend to be happy to get me, but soon it will be eye rolling. That will be awesome.

        1. I’m shooting for carbonite.

      3. Viking funeral. That’s what you need. That’s what everyone needs.

        1. I was going to call you an idiot for not going with a space funeral, but after seeing the redheaded thrall, you have convinced me.

          1. Once we have alien thrall women, we’ll branch out. Viking funerals in space, with alien thralls. And, instead of fire, nuclear explosions visible to the mourners on Earth.

            1. As long as they are redheaded alien thralls.

              1. Look, everything is available for the right price.

                1. I think I’ll upgrade to a higher priced package.

                    1. Well… that’s an improvement.

                    2. Here’s one who has volunteered to do it for free.

                    3. I feel like this is a trap…

                    4. It’s okay, provided you’re dead. Not sure how the mourners will fare.

                    5. Tell me you wouldn’t join that alien in her quest for world domination!

                      I don’t care much for “B” sci-fi movies but I thought that Lifeforce was pretty great.

        2. My uncle specifically requested one, partly because he expected his biker buddies would end up piss drunk and lighting themselves on fire. My old man looked into it, the state of NY turned him down.

          1. What?! Free exercise! FREE EXERCISE!

      4. I agree. A nice memorial gathering or service can be good. But I don’t see the point of the casket and funeral and all that. I feel like it is mostly a racket to enrich funeral directors.
        As to the body, as far as I am concerned it is a piece of garbage and the only obligation one should feel is to dispose of it in a sanitary way. When my dad died, we found a medical school that would take the body. All I cared about was getting rid of it in a way that wouldn’t cost my family much if anything.

    2. At least he died doing what he loved, terrorizing the Wasteland.

    3. I’m donating my body to science when the time comes.

      My wife’s grandmother just died at a healthy margin over 100 and donated her body to science. I bet they were excited about that one.

      1. The research places probably had fist fights over who got her endocrine system parts.

    4. Cremation myself – ashes dumped into Lake Michigan or in the water around Charleston (damn Yankees!)

      1. How Southern do you have to be to consider Charlestoners Yankees?

  33. “Why are we having them? Because we have climate change. Things are different. The forests are drier, the winters are shorter, and we have these terrible fires all over the West.”

    Golly. It’s not because of stupid government rules that prevent the removal of dry material, creating conditions where fires get completely out of control. Nope. It’s global warming.

    Hey, Harry. Fuck you.

    1. Nor is is the normal fire cycle of the region which gets disrupted by zealous anti-fire efforts each time a little fire sparks up that causes the buildup in the first place. Of course not, that would be silly…

    2. Um, maybe I’m wrong but I thought wildfires were just par for the course in the west? It seems to me that the only thing which has changed us more humans live in the Mountains where they occur making the fires more damaging when they do happen.

      1. Yeah, I think that is most of it. And fire suppression has made the fires that do happen naturally a bit worse in some places.

        People also have a bad sense of proportion about the size of the fires. 28000 acres sounds really big. And it is for a lot of purposes. But in forests that are thousands of square miles, it’s fairly small.

  34. I have seen Dick every year, going on ten years, with a particular friend. This year she informs me she will be out of town on the date he plays. IN FUCKING CANADA! Goddamn Canada. Why do they hate Dick Dale so much?

    1. Dick DALE. Goddammit. Canada strikes again.

    2. When is he playing here? I need to go see that.

      1. Aug 4, Birchmere.

        1. That is the last night of my vacation. I might have to go see that. I hear he is incredibly loud. That won’t bother me, but it will drive my wife nuts. Is he that loud?

          1. VERY loud. He shreds that thing (guitar). He puts on an amazing show. He plays the bass with drum sticks.

            1. I might go alone or get her some ear plugs. I might just go alone. I can’t see her enjoying it. After a week of vacation a night away from each other might be a good thing anyway.

              1. Wear a Hawaiian shirt if you want to look like a real Dickhead

            2. Shit, I’m THERE.

            3. And his bass player is cute.

              1. Does this call for some kind of fucked-up reason meet-up?

    3. I’m sure there are a lot of people who will willingly let you see Dick.

      Oh, you meant Dick Dale.

      1. Twenty minutes to hit KK with the dick joke?

        Alot of slacking off going on around here.

        1. No shit. I’m surprised I was able to get my correction in before hijinks ensued.

          And for the record, I see dick more than once a year.

          1. But not with a particular female friend.

            1. Thankfully – I really don’t ever, ever want to even picture her husband naked.

              1. Who said anything about him?

                1. Well, that’s the only dick she would agree to see, so if we were to see dick together, I guess it would have to be her hubby’s. *shudders*

                  1. So you’re saying a trip to the Chippendales show for the two of you is right out?

                    1. Like they show dick! All the all-nude (gay) strip clubs in DC were run out on a rail when the Nationals came to town. Yet another reason baseball sucks.

    4. My car club used to put a show on in Dallas (well, they still do, but I quit the club) every year, and one year we got him to come down and play. Great show – it’s like his hands haven’t aged since the 60’s. The only other show that came close was the year we had Los Straitjackets.

      1. Oh man, I loves me some Los Straitjackets!

    5. I have seen Dick every year, going on ten years, with a particular friend.

      Best story I’ve heard in weeks.

  35. Another thing these “living wage” dummies don’t seem to consider: what happens when all the employees of businesses not directly subject to the extra-generous wage quit and go to work at Walmart? Will they really be able to retain those people simply by pointing out the virtue of loyalty?

    1. The business will be forced to pay a living wage to compete. It’s not like it will hurt them. They can pay out of their obscene profits and hoarded wealth.

      1. Can’t tell if serious. Now if you would have said something about Jew bankers it would be clear.

        1. No. Koch Brothers. Haven’t you read Protocols of the Elders of Wichita?

    2. Think about the thousands and thousands of people employed by Wal-Mart. Let’s assume you confiscate the entire pay and benefits package given to the CEO. Will they give all of those thousands and thousands of people a living wage? No.

      Besides, they are considering a “living wage” to be $30k/year. That, a couple of years ago, was the average starting salary of a college grad. So why go to college for all those years and make the same as a person that doesn’t even have a high school diploma? Sure, you MIGHT make more money later, but there is no real guarantee. Plus, all the other people making close to that right now are going to look at their degrees as not being cost effective.

  36. Devout Catholics Have Better Sex

    “those who are monogamous have the best sex they ever could ? because its the only sex they’ll ever know.”

    1. In other news Vegans have the best food life. They have never known meat so don’t know any better.


      1. There was this vegan friend of a friend on Facebook going on and on about how after a year without meat, every apple was the best apple he had ever eaten and he could taste things in an apple he never could before.

        On his wall, I linked to the wikipedia article on Stockholm Syndrome.

        I don’t see that guy’s posts any longer.

        1. Sounds like he was suffering from some nutrition deficiency.

          I’m sure he heard beautiful music in the droning of the air conditioner, as well.

          1. “I’m sure he heard beautiful music in the droning of the air conditioner, as well.”

            You don’t, man?


        2. If you don’t eat meat for a long time, your body does start to reject it and it gets hard to start eating it again. But that won’t make grazing any more appetizing. It will just make you really thin and weak as your current diet has grown stale and tasteless but your body won’t let you go back to your old one.

          1. In college there was this one jerk we kind of all hated after about 2 weeks of knowing him, but it was too much effort to formally exclude him from everything. He spent about a year eating vegetarian and during it went on a long rant about how he was so much healthier than us.

            I told him to eat my cheeseburger and I’d eat his salad, and see whose body could handle the one time difference better.

          2. Actually, this is BS. I was vegan for almost 12 years, and got pregnant. I was paranoid about my nutrition, and started eating cheese & eggs while pregnant. Then later, (post- pregnancy) I had a hard hard time losing weight, and I decided to go on Atkin’s (big jump, I know). So one night, my hubby grilled some steaks, and we sat down to eat. I thought I would get ill (since I believed the same BS about “rejecting meat” after so long of not enjoying any). I had the steak, which was awesome, didn’t get sick, and never looked back.

            1. Maybe so. But if it is, all of the vegetarians I have know are lying. That is certainly possible since being vegan is normally just an excuse to be a pain in the ass.

              1. I had read it in a book! “Vegan Nutrition,” a glorious 70s volume with theory and recipes in it. I thought it was gospel truth! And so did a lot of other vegans I knew. Why would a medical Doc lie to me about my body?

      2. Vegans know there is better food out there. They can smell bacon.

    2. Also, no rubbers.

      1. The way God intended.

    3. “those who are monogamous have the best sex they ever could ? because its the only sex they’ll ever know.”

      That had to have been wrtten by a nun who was raised in a convent – somebody to whom sex is a completely foreign concept. There isn’t even an alternate universe were that in the same hemisphere as correct.

      1. I guess it is possible to delude yourself into thinking anything if you try hard enough. That seems to be what this person is saying.

      2. In fairness, as a guy, it has to be pretty bad before the last sex I ever had wasn’t the best sex I ever had.

    4. However, failed Catholics really do have the best sex, in my personal experience.

      1. Failed catholics definitely make the most entertaining athiests.

  37. http://www.slate.com/articles/…..ac_dc.html

    If we would just ban air conditioning, we would stop global warming and wouldn’t need it anymore. We all know New Orleans and Washington, DC were wonderfully temperate in the summer before man screwed up the climate. I am not kidding, Saleton really says that.

    That’s the problem in Washington today. Policymakers aren’t facing global warming, because they aren’t feeling it. They gave themselves air conditioning in the 1920s and ’30s, long before the public got it. White House meetings and congressional hearings on climate change are doomed hours beforehand, when the thermostats are set. One minute, you’re watching video of people sweltering in New Orleans. The next minute, you’re watching senators dispute the significance of greenhouse gases. Don’t ask whether these people are living on the same planet. In effect, they aren’t.

    In a week of the retard storm known as the Zimmerman verdict, Saleton’s retardation still manages to stand out.

    1. Actually removing air conditioning from all government buildings is part of my master plan to reduce the size of government.

      1. I am thinking getting rid of AC in Washington would not have the effect dipshit thinks it will, other than maybe getting the Capitol moved to Boston.

        1. Who knows – maybe Congress will take a recess from May – October. I could get behind that.

          1. Actually, I have read before of the correlation of the rise of big government with the advent of air conditioning.

            Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure that the Depression and WWII would have happened without air conditioning. 🙂

        2. It will make public officials in DC suffer. That makes it worthwhile regardless of the futility. Sorry, John.

      2. Actually removing air conditioning from all government buildings is part of my master plan to reduce the size of government.

        The stench would remain of course.

        1. It is kind of like raccoon piss, the smell never really comes out.

    2. I hope this nitwit is ready for the death toll.

      There is a reason why heat waves kill thousands of people in Europe but only tens of people here in the US, it is called Air Conditioning

    3. He has a point. The average temperature is up, what, a degree? We should demand that they raise the settings on the thermostat by a degree year-round so they feel the terrible impact of Western civilization on the poor. Although that would actually make them more comfortable in winter… Fine. Raise it 2 degrees in summer, and none in winter.

  38. saw this bit on Harry Reid:

    From Mark Leibovich’s This Town, Chapter 3, describing Election Night 2006, and how Senator Harry Reid responded to CNN’s declaration that Claire McCaskill of Missouri had won her Senate race:

    Reid, a man of thoroughgoing cynicism, is nonetheless capable of a boyish hullabaloo at times like this. So what did Harry Reid do to mark this key step in his ascent to Senate majority leader? He rose from the couch and he kissed the TV ? tenderly, caressing the screen. And then he sat back down to receive from Schumer something between a pat on the head and a noogie.

    1. And then he sat back down to receive from Schumer…

      I was almost afraid to read the rest.

    2. This says it all. Being a politician is nothing but a competition to these people. Instead of bowling or bass fishing or board games they chose to compete in an arena where they get to fuck up people’s lives.

  39. Last night I tuned in to Piers Morgan for a few minutes; I couldn’t find the hammer I ordinarily hit myself in the head with, so it seemed like a reasonable substitute.

    They were in the midst of some incoherent attempt to use the “warning shot” woman’s twenty year sentence to prove Zimmerman is a murderer, or some fucking thing. Is there anybody who works for CNN who isn’t a complete babbling idiot?

    1. Is there anybody who works for watches CNN who isn’t a complete babbling idiot?


    2. Skittles & Ice Tea

      The body and blood of Trayvon.

      1. +1 do this in remembrance of the hoodie

    3. OK, I’ve got to get this off my chest.

      Why is it that people are being allowed to get away with calling Zimmerman a white guy? Why hasn’t somebody using that term in a live TV discussion been called out – “A WHITE GUY? Are you blind? Have you even seen a photo of him? You cannot find a village in Africa where they would call him white. Maybe light skinned but not white. If the police were searching for a suspect who looked exactly like him do you think they would broadcast ‘white male suspect’?”

      1. Because it fits their interpretation of the events. Facts be damned.

      2. Hispanics are only considered “white” by the media and academia when it’s convenient.

        1. Or, you know, when they are white. Zimmerman doesn’t look too white, but a lot of hispanics are. Hispanic is not a racial category at all.

      3. If hispanics are white, I’m putting hispanic on my lily white kids college applications.

        1. Seriously, how hard is this to understand? Hispanic is not a racial category. It is cultural and linguistic. People of any race can be Hispanic.

          People do what you are suggesting though. I knew a girl in college who changed her last name to something Spanish (I think there was some family connection to the name) so she would seem more Hispanic on her applications.

      4. No, progressives changed the meaning of white now so that it applies to people of any race, so long as they value learning (supporting leftist indoctrination actually makes you less white), are employable, are not prone to aggressive violence but do value self-defense, and have some sense of personal responsibility or individual initiative.

        That way, studious African American kids or Hispanic neighborhood watchmen can be shamed for “acting white”, and goodthinking progressives can shed their collective responsibility for the crimes of people with their skin color by simply redefining whiteness as something that doesn’t apply to them.

        It does get confusing, though, since they aren’t consistent. You have to rely on context to figure out whether they mean “Caucasian” or “decent human being” when they say white.

      5. Because, very often, hispanics are classed as ‘white’ when they kill people.

  40. http://conservativeintel.com/2…..isguided/#

    If you believe Zimmerman attacked Martin, SYD would have benefited Martin and other in similar situations.

    1. “SYD”
      It’s SYG, or SYGD, SYD makes no sense in any context whatsoever and you look stupid continuously posting it.

    2. SYG helps with judged by 12 part, not so much the carried by 6 part. Although FL seems to have gotten mixed up about the numbers.

    1. His son died. Even rational and reasonable people have a hard time being rational in those circumstances. I would like to think that if that happened to my son my reaction would be sadness and disappointment at myself for raising a son who was that stupid. But that would take a whole lot of self awareness and ability to confront a really horrible truth. And not everyone or even most people have that.

      Reason number $1 million why the family of a victim should have no effect on a court proceeding outside of sentencing.

      1. Oh, I appreciate grief, John.

        “Decide with your heart *and* your head.”

        1. I know. But it just shows the stupidity of talking to the family. What are they going to add?

          1. Well, I’m all in favor of the family being heard, but not automatically obeyed. Not all families are irrational. And family input doesn’t translate into conviction without evidence, as we’ve seen here.

            1. They should totally be heard with regard to sentencing and during the determination of guilt if they have relevant information. But after the guy has been let off, talking to the family says nothing.

              1. Certainly.

                I would also add that a family should be able to show evidence to a grand jury about alleged crimes against their relative, and the grand jurors should be able to present the guilty parties. So I would have family input on the front end as well as the back end.

      2. I told my Pa that if I were to die as a result of a crime, he should pressure the DA not to seek the death penalty. He said he didn’t know if he could do that, but if he wants to honor my memory he would. I think he realizes now how unreliable our criminal justice system is.

        1. If you are ever murdered Kristen, I will do my best to see the guy gets the chair for it. Consider it me making one last argument to you in the grave.

          1. If I can reach my goal and move north some day, nobody will have to worry about it. Unless there was somehow treason involved as well.

            1. I can always pay to have someone whack him in prison.

      3. Why should they even have anything to say about sentencing? Is murdering someone somehow a worse crime if the victim’s family didn’t like him very much?

        1. Recognizing a role for the family is a blow against the statist superstition that crime is merely a blow against an amorphous “society” represented by disinterested government officials. And if the prosecution in a particular case is just going through the motions and can’t bring themselves to humanize the victim, the family can do so.

          Compare and contrast these sentencing recommendations:

          PROSECUTOR: “This is a schedule A offense, with mitigating circumstances x and y. I recommend twenty years.”

          FATHER: “The guy killed my daughter! Lock him up so that won’t be able to kill anyone else’s daughter!”

          (PS – I know that families can’t strictly recommend sentences, but this is BS and should be changed)

          1. I can sort of see what you are saying, but I think that if you want rule of law, emotional appeals shouldn’t come into it. Murdering someone with no family to humanize him in court shouldn’t be punished more harshly that murdering someone who does.

            1. I agree in the abstract, but on the other hand, murdering someone who the prosecution sympathizes with should get the same sentence as murdering someone for whom the prosecutor just goes through the motions. At the very least, a statement by the family can equalize things in the second situation.

  41. “Barack Obama is set to make a speech at the White House today pitching Obamacare to the American people.”

    How long has it been since this was passed? They are still telling us how we feel? This is like telling a kid ” Eat it, you will like it, it is good!” when he has tried eating pissy kidney pie and gagged on it already.

    Keep polishing that turd Mr. President.

    1. It’s so good that we’re delaying implementation until after the 2014 elections- we don’t want an unfair advantage.

  42. Someone here mentioned a few days ago that California was getting ready to pass SB-1 “Sustainable Communities Investment Authority”, which supposedly would let them declare front yards blight such that they could be “redeveloped” in whatever way the local community associations saw fit. I haven’t been able to find any news coverage of this. Here’s the text of the bill, if anyone cares to parse it.

    1. Thanks, Joe. The actual text is always informative. For example, this bill, which purports to fix “blight”, doe not appear to define “blight”.

      1. Blight is whatever the government says is blight. I remember one case where they claimed that any house that did not have an attached garage was blighted.

        1. Where I grew up everyone’s garage is in the back yard. I would like to see them try to tear down a city of 250,000.

      2. By not defining it, it will be determined at the benign–and total–discretion of the regulatory authorities.

      3. Thank you! That was one of the things I was trying to find in the bill. There’s no definition given, which is pretty terrifying.

    2. Wow. They think they can legislate SimCity into the corporeal world. Can they legislate nice weather too?

      1. You can’t legislate that in SimCity. You can, however, legislate tornadoes.

        1. LAUNCH ARCOS WOOHOO!!!!

      2. The real question is can they legislate monster attacks into the real world. ‘Cause that would be awesome. Just think of the economic stimulus that could be achieved by having Godzilla routinely destroy huge swaths of downtown LA*. /krugnuts

        *The poor areas only, of course.

    3. Sounds like they got rid of one corrupt community development program in 2012 and now they want to create another under a new name “Sustainable Communities Investment Authority”

    4. A horrifying bill. As if local governments didn’t have enough power to flex over non-conformers with zoning laws and such, let’s add some unbridled discretion condemnation powers!

  43. Is this Himself speech gonna pre-empt any good teevee? Oh, wait – it’s summer. There is no good TV.

    1. 3 weeks until the final episodes of Breaking Bad.

      1. Hain’t never watched that show. I’m not all that into the one-hour drama format, though there have been a few exceptions. I’ll give it a try on Netflix, I suppose.

        1. If you like it, there are 4 seasons to catch up on.

  44. Holy crap, Rory McIlroy with a disastrous first round at Muirfield, 7 over, tied for 117th. Woods to tee off any minute now.

    1. Damn. That’s just plain awful. Didn’t he do really poorly at the last major too?

      1. Ever since he switched clubs, he’s sucked. He needs to cancel his Nike contract and go back to his old set.

        1. Agree 100%. He’s way too good to be playing like this.

  45. “Why are we having them? Because we have climate change. Things are different. The forests are drier, the winters are shorter, and we have these terrible fires all over the West.”

    “This is terribly concerning,” Reid said. Dealing with fire “is something we can’t do on the cheap.”

    “We have climate change. It’s here. You can’t deny it,” Reid went on. “Why do you think we are having all these fires?”

    “You can make all the excuses,” he said, such as that fires are disasters that “just happen every so often.”


    1. Through Wednesday, there have been 25,370 wildland fires that have burned 2.057 million acres, according to the center, which coordinates federal agency responses to the blazes from its base in Boise, Idaho.

      Through the same date last year, there were 32,920 fires that burned 3.7 million acres.

      In 2011, there were 40,736 wildfires through July 17, burning 5.9 million acres.

      1. Reid has seen different data, his spokeswoman Kristen Orthman said Wednesday evening.

        Orthman cited Climate Change, a Princeton, N.J.-based organization of scientists and journalists that has reported “there are more large fires burning now than at any time in the past 40 years.”

        Additionally, she said, Reid based his view on a New York Times report this month that experts see a “hotter, drier West” as a new normal leading to huge fires.

        1. When Coronado went up through West Texas, Oklahoma and Kansas in the 17th Century, there were sand dunes in places where there are prairies now. The West being hotter or dryer now than it was 50 years ago proves nothing beyond the stupidity of the person making the claim.

        2. Climate Change, a Princeton, N.J.-based organization of scientists and journalists

          Objectivity guaranteed!

          1. Orthman cited Climate Change, a Princeton, N.J.-based organization of scientists and journalists that has reported “there are more large fires burning now than at any time in the past 40 years.”

            And they mean right now, this very instant, all over the world, this is a fact!

    2. So much idiocy. Forrest fires are a fact of life. If there is a Forrest that is not a rain Forrest, it will periodically burn down. And of course, people building right up to and into the forest has something to do with the amount of damage they do as does our total unwillingness to properly manage the risk by cutting down brush and doing controlled burns.

      But fuck it, lets not do any of that. Those are hard. Lets blame it on global warming. Buying a Pius and feeling smug is so much easier and fun.

      1. How do you do this? Seriously, I don’t get how you use the name Forrest in place of the word forest more than once. Admit it–you’re a rogue NSA computer.

        1. There are some glitches in the matrix my handlers haven’t yet solved. One of them is my love of double consonants where they don’t apply. It took them years to find the code glitch responsible for my putting two “Ps” in apartment.

          1. This explains much. Thanks for your honesty. Please don’t turn on humanity.

          2. This has all happened before….

        2. Unless he’s actually speaking of Forrest Tucker. God, how I miss “F Troop.”

          1. buying a Pius and feeling smug


        3. He’s a Forrest tucker.

          1. Oops. Damn you, CN!

        4. “Run Forrest, run!”

          1. Belay that! Drop and roll, Forrest! Drop and roll!!!

        5. Admit it–you’re a rogue NSA computer

          Nah, its his subconscious racism clearly.

  46. For example, this bill, which purports to fix “blight”, doe not appear to define “blight”.

    Any communitarian busybody worth his stripes knows it when he sees it.

    It’s icky.

    1. Any communitarian busybody worth his stripes knows it when he sees it.

      It’s pretty much any building that he and/ or his cronies needs to have removed to make room for a new shopping mall or transit hub or basketball arena or…

  47. Seems Bar Refaeli will kiss anyone. Damn. Sign me up.

    1. Now we’re talking.

    2. Didn’t you watch the SuperBowl?

    1. “I don’t care if you’re on the 30th floor and you’ll burn half your workday getting up there! Take the stairs!”

      1. But seriously if you’re on the second floor and able-bodied please take the stairs. Not that I support government intervention in this most inane subject, but it is annoying when able-bodied people take the elevator to the second or third floor.

        1. In our old office, the first floor stairwell doors were locked and alarmed. You literally were not allowed on them, even if you worked on the second floor. It pissed me off to no end when my ride to the upper levels kept getting bogged down by people who could have taken the stairs if the building manager had only let them.

        2. Yeah. I prefer taking the stairs if I’m going up 3 floors or fewer. But they don’t always mark them well, they aren’t always near the elevators, and they aren’t always accessible.

        3. Fuck yourself, I pay the same rent you do.

    2. Oh I’ve seen those signs for a while now, I didn’t realize they were Bloomberg’s plan. I guess if we could distract him with stairs that would be great, though.

    3. I can’t imagine Bloomberg takes the stairs much. He probably has people that carry him places.

    4. How about we just throw Bloomturd down the stairs instead?

  48. Please don’t give up the day job! Georgia May Jagger poses in just a pair of jeans as she reveals that she’s considering becoming…a vet

    Fix those fucking teeth!

    1. Holy shit. Her father made over a half a billion dollars since the turn of the century alone and he can’t afford braces for his daughter? WTF?

    2. Derp

      1. Actually question I just though of — Why is “fixing” teeth almost universally approved of, but plastic surgery isn’t?

        1. Teeth can be an indicator of personal care. Granted, straightening teeth is beyond what is usually necessary, but certainly nasty-ass hillbilly teeth indicate other issues.

          1. Her teeth are not dirty. She just has bucked teeth. Nothing that a good orthodontist couldn’t have taken care of years ago.

            1. I didn’t know Freddie Mercury had a daughter.

        2. Unfixed teeth actually lead to other severe health problems, potentially lethal ones should these problems then get infected. Also, it becomes difficult to peroprly eat without them.

          Whitening and straightening the teeth, sell, there’s a debatable area.

        3. Even straightening has benefits beyond aesthetics – a better bite helps you avoid TMJ, you won’t use your jaw in a weird way, having them all where they’re supposed to be means it’s less likely you have a cranny somewhere that could get infected.

        4. Look at all the shallow motherfuckers come out of the woodwork with their stupid justifications.

    3. Speaking of the Brits and teeth, the reason why so many Brits of the post war generation have such bad teeth is that the NHS ran the dentists and put a very strict ration on the use of gas and Novocaine, had to keep costs down you know. So anyone who grew up in the UK in the 1950s had the experience of having dental work done without sufficient numbing and understandably developed a debilitating fear of the dentist.

      So every time you see a Brit over the age of 50 with bad teeth, just remember that is what socialized medicine looks like.

      1. I love visiting my dentist. It’s like a trip to a day spa. Warm neck pillows, gourmet coffee, my choice of music or TV to watch during the procedure. I believe it’s because dentists can/must compete, unlike doctors. And fewer people have comprehensive dental insurance. (I see lots of Groupon-like promotions for area dental offices.)

        1. Once I started paying for the NOX, I started to love going to the dentist. That shit is the bomb. I want to install a canister of it next to my bed.

          1. Will you fuck anything that moves?

        2. I had some really fantastic drugs for my two dental surgeries a few years back, then they had me in for a follow-up cleaning. The cleaning was done by a hygenist and she wasn’t able to give me anything but topical anesthetic, which everyone knows does not work. This after my being very clear with them on several occasions that I am a “high anxiety patient”. It was like fucking Marathon Man. Haven’t been back since.

          1. I am a very low anxiety dental patient. My time in the dentist’s chair is probably the most relaxed I ever get (and that’s without drugs.) Perhaps I’m just a freak.

            1. Totally agree CN. If I could keep my mouth open, I’d fall right asleep while they scraped and cleaned.

            2. I never had a problem with going to the dentist.

              Then again, I’m in my 40’s and have had one cavity.

            3. I’m the same way. And I never get numbed for cleanings. The moderate pain enhances my meditative state.

              1. Do you decide on a safe word before you start?

                1. Heh. No. Actually they have never even offered any anesthetic to me for anything that doesn’t involve drilling. Who are all these poofters who get anesthetic for a cleaning anyway?

          2. NOX, when administered by someone else so you won’t OD on the stuff is totally harmless. There is no reason anyone who goes to the dentist shouldn’t get it if they want it and are willing to pay for it.

            Better to avoid the dentist and have your teeth rot out or go there and suffer than anyone ever get high.

            1. But perhaps I should pretend to freak out. Just how good is NOX, John?

              1. I think it is fabulous. You just float over the chair. You get this incredible feeling of well being and euphoria. The only problem is that you have to keep your wits about you a bit or you will start laughing and not be able to stop. And that is not that pleasant, although not bad, just not as good as the feeling you get when you are not laughing.

                1. I’ve never had the urge to laugh while on NOX. I just zone out. Mix it with some cold medicine and it’s time for hallucinations.

                  1. I advise not mixing NOX and LSD. Unless you want to pick up a dick pump in a city park thinking you’ve found a keg tap.

                    True story. I watched it happen. Everbody was fucked up as football bats that day.

                    1. best thing I have read on H&R in months.

  49. I know it’s only July, but I think we have our finalists for the mother of the award.

    Contestant #1: Shoplifter throws 3 month old baby at cops after using it as a human shield.

    Contestant #2: Another baby thrower. Woman tosses baby on a bus to fight with some other woman.

    I think I’ll give it to contestant #2 because
    1) It was on video
    2) She was throwing the baby so that she could throw down with some other bitch for “disrespecting her in front of her baby.”
    3) The dialogue is nearly impossible to understand. ENUNCIATE, BITCH.

    1. *mother of the year

      I blame the squirrels…

    2. I think I’ll have to go with #1.

      “You will have to shoot through the baby to get me.”

      Yep, definitely #1.

    3. You missed the ESPN highlight where a player tossed a ball to a woman in the stands. She dropped her kid to catch it, bobbled the ball, and dropped it on the kid’s head.

  50. -Why It’s So Hard to Trust Republicans to Limit Government Spending

    Exhibit A: the Farm Bill passed by the House last week. As noted here and here, this bill would result in greater farm subsidy spending than the bill passed by the Democratic Senate or President Obama’s initial request. It’s unconscionable that Republicans concerned about waste in the food stamp program are so willing to squander taxpayer dollars on this form of corporate welfare.


    1. No politician can resist the temptation to steal for their cronies and supporters. Bankruptcy will be the only way they stop stealing.

      1. It’s pretty sad. Here’s Cato on it:

        -the bill saves less than the Senate farm bill, and less than the Obama administration proposed. If you want to think in simplistic terms, this bill?proposed by Republicans, remember?is fiscally to the left of the Senate Democrats’ and President Obama’s proposals. I guess welfare is ok if it is for farmers and other rural dwellers.


        1. Farmers vote Republican. They want their pony.

          1. But would they ever vote Dem if the Repubs cut off their funding? I think farmers are a pretty solid R block no matter what. But really – are there so many farmers out there that they’re that powerful of a base?

            1. There might not be a lot of farmers, but a lot Republicans represent of districts with rural areas that have a fair amount of farmers. More importantly ‘the American Farmer’ has long had powerful political valence, like ‘our troops’ and ‘the children.’ Ironically the mythology of the American farmer as a noble ideal comes from the writings of people like Jefferson who praised them as a model of citizenship because they were self-sufficient. Now farmers trade on that mythology to get lots of goodies. The irony, it burns!

            2. Farmers may not vote for a Democrat challenger but they will more than likely vote for a challenger who promises them subsidies in the Republican Primary. And you can bet there will be one.

              While it’s true that farmers are a tiny percentage of the population, I think it’s fair to say that non-farmer voters are sucked in by the sob stories about the suffering farmer.

              1. you did see that superbowl commercial right…

    2. Dems lie about freedom, GOPs lie about finance.

      1. Are sure you did not mean…

        Dems lie about freedom, GOPs lie about finance.

  51. Say it ain’t so! Rhythmic gymnastics judges cheated to become rhythmic gymnasitcs judges. My only question is… if these yahoos have such lower moral standards, where are all the sex tapes with the gymnasts?

    1. From the stories I have heard, female athletes in general fuck like mink, the ones who are straight anyway. Female swimmers I have heard are the best.

      1. After seeing the Korean rhythmic gymnast throw out the first pitch by essentially pivoting her entire body 360 degrees around one (grounded) hip joint, I have a new favorite female athelete type. Although, really, the 400m runners are the perfect bodies.

        1. I think the women divers have the best bodies. They are in shape but still have curves and are not bulked up too much with muscle.

          1. Fencers.

            Not that you can see the bodies in competition.

        2. I knew a guy who actually dated a former ryhtmic gymnast from Belarus. Apparently she had been an alternate on their Olympic team a few year ago. Unfortunately she also turned out to be batshit crazy.

          1. Unfortunately she also turned out to be batshit crazy.

            This is like “unfortunately it turned out the beans I bought weren’t magic”.

  52. Suddenly, I am being bombarded by Coca-Cola public service announcements about obesity and exercise. Did they lose an FDA lawsuit or something?

    Or is this some sort of pre-emptive protection racket?

    1. I never got blaming Coca-Cola for the obesity trend of recent decades. They’ve been around for over a century.

  53. Taliban to little girl: We shot you in the head because you said bad things about us… all true, but still. Bad things. How are we going to win the hearts and minds of the people if you keep telling them the truth about us?

  54. Taliban to little girl: We shot you in the head because you said bad things about us… all true, but still.

    They had to take a stand against her bullying.

    1. Are you saying they stood their ground?

    2. The tree of tyranny must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of little girls and boys

  55. USDA Grants $149,074 to Study Food Shopping Patterns with GPS

    “Are shopping habits different for an adolescent when they are with a parent or with a friend? My hypothesis is that there will be a difference,” Gustafson said.

    “Although neighborhood-level efforts are paramount for food system sustainability, at the micro-level, where residents procure food, interventions are also needed,” the grant says.


    1. “interventions are also needed”

      Fuck off, USDA slavers.

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