Friday Funnies: Happy 4th of July

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Elayne Boosler. When I was in high school I wanted to eat out her substance.

(Not really, but you try to come up with a joke for this one.)

[vanessamcclelland02]

my co-worker's half-sister makes $76 every hour on the computer. She has been out of work for 5 months but last month her pay was $18019 just working on the computer for a few hours. Here's the site to read more.... http://www.cnn13.com

[invisible furry hand]

ooooh, satire!

[Palin's Buttplug]

T-shirt seen in Texas: Tell the GOP that if I wanted the government in my vagina I would fuck a Senator.

[DJF]

On the back of the T-shirt it saids

"But the taxpayer is responsible to pay for the maintenance on my vagina

[Atanarjuat]

Yeah, the lefties love to make fun of the "Get your government hands off my Medicare!", but that's exactly what they're saying here.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Most women just want the government out of their contraceptive decisions. There are exceptions, of course. I would prefer completely private funding of Planned Parenthood myself.

[DJF]

So are you in favor or against taxpayers having to pay for vagina maintenance??

[Mike M.]

Of course scumbag is in favor of it. He loves using taxpayer dollars to buy votes for his guys.

[sgs]

"Most women just want the government out of their contraceptive decisions. "

They should stop taking the fucking money then so they have some room to talk.

[Appalachian Australian]

We're the ones who keep saying we don't think doctors and medicine should be regulated.

Team Red just wants "common-sense" regulation of surgical facilities that 90% of Americans support.

[Certified Public Asskicker]

Ooooo, so clever

[Fatty Bolger]

You mean that sign being held up by a little girl? Way to keep it classy, Democrats.*

Also, I feel for this kid. It can't be easy having dozens of "uncles."

* Mainstream media protocol dictates that every member of her political party be tarred by this one instance of somebody doing something stupid.**

** Unless it's a Democrat, in which case it will not be covered by the MSM except as an attempt to debunk it.

[Atanarjuat]

Being a proud grajiate of public schools, I had to google to find out that was really in the DoI. "Erected"? "Eat out their substance"? I guess Abraham Lincoln really was a closeted homosexual.

[invisible furry hand]

hey, how did your "blow shit up" plan go yesterday?

[Atanarjuat]

Pretty good! It's always fun, though we didn't have anything too spectacular. I got my 7-year-old to light his first bottle rocket.

[Brett L]

Did it rain all day in Tallahassee proper? I was in the middle of the rain funnel at Cape San Blas (actually Indian Pass).

[Atanarjuat]

Going to show my quintessentially American ignorance of all other places by asking, do you have any reckless drunken firework-lighting holidays in Oz?

[Ted S.]

They have a fireworks show during the middle of the Australian Open tennis.

I think this coming year it's going to fall in the middle of the men's final.

[invisible furry hand]

oh man, you hit a sore spot there! It's illegal pretty much everywhere (you can get a one-off pyrotechnics licence if you are prepared to suffer).

I grew up in Canberra in the Australian Capital Territory, which because it was a Territory (and not a State) had all these crazy legal loopholes, so we blew shit up for the Queen's Birthday in June every year. A few years ago the local ACT government decided to justify its existence by banning the private use of fireworks like the little bitches they are.

So the only place you can legally buy and use them now is the Northern Territory, and only for its official Territory Day. Gotta get to the US for July 4 one year to smell the sweet scent of gunpowder again...

[invisible furry hand]

official fireworks are pretty frequent (New Year's, Australia Day, etc)

[Ted S.]

The Queen, of course, was not born in June. 🙂

[Brett L]

Do they have a farmer's exception? Here if you ar buying them "to scare off crows and other vermin", you can buy the good shit instead of just bottle rockets and sparklers (or drive to Alabama!)

[Billy Boogers]

Back in the early 70's I was living in Alice and recall "Guy Fawkes Day" being quite the proverbial blow out from a fireworks perspective 🙂

We'd awake the next morning to the streets covered in cracker paper and a lingering gunpowder haze throughout the town.

Ahhh, the days of Thunder Bungers!

[Fluffy]

The movie Babe has led me to believe that they have fireworks for Christmas down there.

Which is of course as ass-backwards as everything else they do.

GET OFF MY LAWN AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND

[Rich]

do you have any reckless drunken firework-lighting holidays in Oz?

"Does Australia have a Fourth of July?"

"Yes, and a fifth, and a sixth, ...."

Sorry -- couldn't resist!

[bostonaod]

That hot dog is about to explode!

[Fist of Etiquette]

That's what she said.

[Ted S.]

NEEDZ MOAR LABELS!

[creech]

Did any more than a handful of Americans know what the 4th was about? The local tv news babes kept trying to prod kids into saying it was all about hamburgers, fireworks, and the pool. Sure, a few pols mentioned "independence" or "liberty" but you can bet they spend the other 364 days chipping away at those principles.

[squarooticus]

This one is actually funny.

I don't understand.

[Fatty Bolger]

That's actually pretty good. Did Bok have a stroke or something?

[Jesus H. Christ]

Bok is messing with a ouija board I would guess. Definitely not his own work. Well, the crappy art is his, but the punchline, I think not.

[PapayaSF]

I agree. Pretty funny, Bok.

[Almanian!]

Like the CBO would say anything like that about a government function. BOKFAIL.