Cops Say Mushrooms Caused Ohio Man to Rip Off Own Penis
That's a real bad trip
A 41-year-old Columbus, Ohio, man is recovering after, police said, he ripped off part of his penis during a drug-fueled high in Ypsilanti Township.
Washtenaw County Sheriff's deputies found the man naked and screaming after responding to a burglar alarm at Ypsilanti Middle School, 105 N. Mansfield St., about 1 a.m. Tuesday, Sgt. Geoff Fox said Monday.
The man was kneeling outside the school and bloody from the waist down, with parts of his genitals ripped off, Fox said. He said parts of the man's body were transferred to the hospital with him.
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Tragically common. This is how Janet Reno and Janet Napolitano both lost their penises.
Pour a little liquor on the curb tonight for all the men who have ripped their Johnsons off in a fit of mushroom rage.
Mushrooms...and what else. I've been to enough Dead/Dave shows to know that if the only thing dude was on was mushrooms he is the king of all statistical outliers.
Got to remember to stay away from those.