A.M. Links: Obama's Republican Dinner Guests Complain Over Lack of Follow Through, Obama Visiting NJ to Review Storm Recovery, Toronto Mayor Denies Smoking Crack


  • alleged crack video, toronto mayor second from left
    Toronto Star

    Republican senators who had dinner with Obama in March (while Rand Paul was filibustering the nomination of John Brennan) say there has been no follow through on deficit negotiations since then. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, won't get fooled again?

  • President Obama will be visiting New Jersey to review Hurricane Sandy recovery, preferring to focus on natural disasters than the political ones engulfing his administration.
  • Brandon Raub, a Marine Corps vet who was involuntarily committed last summer over political comments made online, is suing over the violations to his Constitutional rights.
  • While meeting with Chinese leaders, the national security advisor Tom Donilon endorsed closer military ties between the U.S. and China.
  • Toronto Mayor Rob Ford denies smoking crack cocaine, you hosers.
  • Deutsche Bahn, a Germain railway company, will be deploying mini-drones overnight to catch taggers vandalizing their trains.
  • Presidential elections have been scheduled for July in Mali.

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  1. Good morning Reason!

    1. Poor Fisty. Beaten by a PUA.

      1. Not an actual comment. Just annoying Suki-style chatter.

        1. Suki was never the worst of the regular commenters. She gets a bad rap.

          1. WTF ever happened to Suki?

            1. Longtorso said he killed her.

          2. I always found her to be entirely pointless and very tiresome.

            1. Which is why I loved her. It was so easy to look good by comparison

            2. And I will maintain that “pointless” and even “tiresome” are far from the worst things a regular commenter can be.

              1. nicole, you haven’t been around long enough to remember suki… have you?

                1. Of course I have. I don’t know how long commenting but reading for six-seven years.

                  1. Hmm, I really thought you showed up like a year or maybe a year and a half ago. Could you have been lurking for that long?

                    1. Not that long…not sure how long but definitely not that long. Here’s me over two years ago, and that’s certainly not my beginning.

                    2. Your generic username makes it hard to find your first post. This is it, I think.

                      nicole| 3.2.10 @ 1:32PM |#|?|filternamelinkcustom

                      Via SCOTUSblog, it looks like we are fucked on Slaughterhouse but cool on incorporation. But this is the kind of shit that makes me seethe:

                      Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, one of the dissenters in Heller, then moved in to press Gura on just what “unenumerated rights” would be protected if the Court were to revive the “privileges or immunities” clause. It was a theme that would recur often thereafter, solidifying the appearance that the argument had virtually no chance of succeeding. (In fact, when Gura near the end of the argument returned to the podium for his rebuttal, his time was used up by Justices Ginsburg and Anthony M. Kennedy exploring what other rights might come into being if the Court gave new life to the “privileges or immunities” clause. He responded that he could not provide a full list, to which Justice Scalia retorted: “Doesn’ t that trouble you?” It was obvious that it troubled the Court.)
                      What troubles me is that the court is troubled by the idea I might have more rights than they can enumerate.
                      reply to this

                      And here’s you in that smug-leftist-commenting-a-month-late phase you went through. We’re all glad you grew out of that.

                    3. Yeah, so am I.

              2. Well nikki thinks the worst would be someone who consistently displayed poor grammar and spelling.

                But she’s the worst ever, so who cares what she thinks?

        1. Typo, he meant PUMA. Virginian is a secret Hilary fan.

          1. I am neither.

            1. I thought you were the irritating PUA on this forum. I distinctly remember it being one of the regulars.

    2. holyfuckingshit: Britain uses threat of liability to shut down light-hearted competition, thereby proving UK IS THE WORST PLACE IN THE WORLD

      1. H&R had an actual story about it yesterday.

  2. Republican senators who had dinner with Obama in March (while Rand Paul was filibustering the nomination of John Brennan) say there has been no follow through on deficit negotiations since then.

    So two things that day lacked follow through.

  3. Heading to Hawaii for dolphin-assisted birth

    Heather and Adam’s idea to welcome their first child into the world via water and hopefully dolphins, was inspired by the book, “The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life” by Drunvalo Melchizedek.

    Before they learned they were pregnant, the idea of a water-and-dolphin birth appealed to Heather and Adam and they say they have experienced signs along the way, pointing them to Hawaii and the institute. Preparations for a dolphin-assisted birth began as soon as they arrived, long before Heather’s July due date.

    wait, wut?

    1. Before they learned they were pregnant,


      1. He is probably one of those whipped husbands who is forced to “feel her pain” throughout the pregnancy period. You know, by wearing a heavy sack on his stomach and getting electric sensors attached to simulate childbirth.

      2. Oh good, I’m not the only one that finds that very irritating.

        1. I was going to point it out myself until I noticed I was beaten to the punch.

      3. She’s pregnant; they’re expecting. You’re welcome.

    2. Penn & Teller’s Bullshit! had an episode on dolphins that included dolphin assisted birth. The woman who was promoting the process was as dumb as you’d think. The curious couple P&T flew to Hawaii seemed to mostly want the free trip to Hawaii.

    3. The couple will stay and study with Star Newland, founder of The Sirius Institute, a consortium with the purpose of “dolphinizing” the planet.

      I believe the word is “cretinizing”.

      /Salvador Dali

      1. Isn’t most dolphin reproduction the product of forcible rapes?


        2. You could probably say that about most non-human animals.

          1. Isn’t consent kind of a concept for sentient beings?


          2. If she didn’t want it she wouldn’t go into heat.

      2. How do you dolphinize the part of the planets not covered by ocean? Or do they think global warming is a good thing?

        1. Anti-gravity water vests for the dolphins.

          Or give it to the prince of france.

          1. [Delivering a message from Reason to the French King]

            H&R Commenter: This is their claim, their threatening and my message. Unless the *Dolphin* [intentionally mispronounced] be in presence here, to whom expressly I bring greeting too.

            French King: For us, we will consider of this further. Tomorrow shall you bear our full intent back to our brothers Reason.

            Dauphin: For the *Dauphin* [emphasizes the correct pronunciation] I stand here for him. What to him from Reason?

            H&R Commenter: Scorn and defiance, slight regard, contempt and any thing that may not misbecome the mighty sender, doth they prize you at. Thus says my foundation and magazine.

            1. +V Henrys

    4. they say they have experienced signs along the way, pointing them to Hawaii and the institute.

      Visions of Aqua Buddha?

    5. What if the dolphins eat the kid?

      1. A dolphin ate me baby!

  4. Brandon Raub, a Marine Corps vet who was involuntarily committed last summer over political comments made online, is suing over the violations to his Constitutional rights.

    I remember when abductions were a criminal matter, not a civil one.

    1. The only “criminal matters” left consist of Offending the State.

    2. Best comment on the link

      Also, the PMP is also only just for controlled substances so we can try to curtail more abuse situations. Which is an invaluable tool for healthcare providers, not an attempt by anyone to invade privacy or whatever conspiracy theory you’re on about. You have to have a valid provider license to even access the database!

      The PDMP is a law enforcement tool covering prescription/patient registration, not a healthcare provider tool – which is why law enforcement has access to the database despite not having a valid provider license. I wonder if the poster has a state-issued gun and a badge by any chance – thus the “we can try to curtail more abuse situations”. Otherwise known as ‘stopping people from fucking up their lives by really fucking up their lives’.

  5. Happy Memorial Day: Your BBQ grill may have more germs than a toilet seat

    It’s Memorial Day weekend, and people across the country are firing up their barbecues, officially launching the summer grilling season. Before you light the charcoal, though, you might want to consider this new discovery by British researchers: The average barbecue grill in the U.K. has more than twice as many germs as the typical toilet seat.

    Full disclosure: The study, conducted by hygiene expert Lisa Ackerley, was commissioned by Jeyes, a company that makes cleaning products. Still, Ackerley is one of the leading experts on food safety in the U.K., and she warns that a grill’s microbes can be transferred to burgers and hot dogs, and cause gastrointestinal infections.

    1. Only the weak.

    2. So what? I cook everything with the heat cranked all the way up. Nothing survives the grill, including sometimes the food I am cooking.

      1. I was gonna say… isn’t that why we fire up the coals for 30-40 minutes before actually cooking?

        1. Coals? You’ll be tasting the heat, not the meat.

          1. Properly used the coals accentuate the flavor, rather than hiding it. The real problem is people who slather the meat with sauces. If you like BBQ sauce that much, why not just chug it straight out of the bottle?

            1. I’m also in the coal camp. Gas grills can make some tasteless meat.

            2. Why do people snort cocain off the back of sleazy women? Same reason you do BBQ sauce on your meats….

      2. That was my first thought as well. I’m sure loads of stuff grows on the left over grease that’s there when you turn it off. But if you heat it up to grilling temp, there’s no way anything survives.

        1. Oh, yeah?! What about a tardigrade?!

          1. Those are pretty interesting. I learned about something new today. But I think even those would die on a properly heated grill.

    3. “…as the typical toilet seat.”

      But what about my toilet seat? Trying to convince the grand-kids to eat the burgers I prepared on my greasy, blackened, and ashy toilet seat didn’t go over so well.

      The hotdogs dipped out of the water were even less popular.

    4. I’m willing to bet that my mouth has twice as many germs as the average toilet seat.

      Considering that the average toilet seat is not a very hospitable place for germs.

      Oh and who cares? Its not *germs* per se that’s important but what *type*.

    5. Germs are good for you.

  6. Anti-smoking campaigner now realises his zealotry has fucked over vulnerable people.

    1. Professor Chapman, who has won international awards for leadership in tobacco control, said he is in favour of ”dedicated smoking zones where people can go”.

      How about dedicated non-smoking zones were those who are so seriously offended by the smell of smoke can go?

    2. Oh please, it’s for their own good.

  7. Deutsche Bahn, a Germain railway company, will be deploying mini-drones overnight to catch taggers vandalizing their trains.

    I see a lot of Kraut graffiti artists investing in paintball guns.

    1. 3D-printed paintball guns can make the graffiti even more shadowy.

  8. Large badger causes ‘hysteria’ at girls’ school
    An oversized badger is causing “hysteria” at a girls’ school after charging at pupils during playtime.

    badger badger badger badger badger

    1. Well, better than a large, over-sized beaver at a girls’ school…amiright?!?!

      1. Wynona got herself a big brown beaver and she shows it off to all her friends…

      2. “Over-sized”, my ass!

    2. That’s nasty!

    3. The eternal question: baboon vs badger

      1. Badger FTW!

        On, Wisconsin!

    4. Go Bucky!

  9. Brandon Raub, a Marine Corps vet who was involuntarily committed last summer over political comments made online

    Expect more of this.

    1. what tyranny? you gun nuts are crazy to even suggest tyranny could come to our shores!!

  10. I’m the great Leviathan, insatiable colossus
    Titanic engulfer of lives, I reward you, absorb you
    I’m the monstrous mouth that hungers for your awe
    Immense construction of lies. I own you, disown you

    Meshuggah rules.

  11. President Obama will be visiting New Jersey to review Hurricane Sandy recovery…

    Hopefully to the tune of The Boss’s “Glory Days”.

  12. A female Israeli judge is being investigated after suggesting that two female lawyers in front of her might mud-wrestle each other.

    1. How nasty!. She should have recommended Jello wrestling, much nicer.

      1. Might not be kosher – how about olive oil wrestling?

      2. I would have said oil wrestling, but in any case it’s a solomonic decision.

      3. I’m going to assume these are real lawyers, not TV lawyers. In which case, blecch.

        But pictures would have certainly helped us know how outraged we should be.

  13. E.J. Dionne: The Obama riddle

    This last bit ? an attempt to displace a sweeping and terribly flawed definition of the anti-terrorism struggle with a careful, practical but also less stirring depiction of the task ahead ? is a window on the Obama conundrum.

    He’s an anti-ideological leader in an ideological age, a middle-of-the-road liberal skeptical of the demands placed on a movement leader, a politician often disdainful of the tasks that politics asks him to perform. He wants to invite the nation to reason together with him when nearly half the country thinks his premises and theirs are utterly at odds. Doing so is unlikely to get any easier. But being Barack Obama, he’ll keep trying.

    gosh, he’s just a nice guy trying to appease everyone.

    1. Poor E.J. he has slowly been detaching from reality for years now… I think he may finally be adrift in the cosmos.

      1. And what is it with his tongue?

    2. gosh, he’s just a nice guy trying to appease everyone.

      I would, however, agree with Greenwald that he’s a rhetorical placater.

      The hallmark of a skilled politician is the ability to speak to a group of people holding widely disparate views, and have all of them walk away believing they heard what they wanted to hear. Other than Bill Clinton, I’ve personally never seen a politician even in the same league as Barack Obama when it comes to that ability. His most consequential speeches are shaped by their simultaneous affirmation of conflicting values and even antithetical beliefs, allowing listeners with irreconcilable positions to conclude that Obama agrees with them.

      The highly touted speech Obama delivered last week on US terrorism policy was a master class in that technique. If one longed to hear that the end of the “war on terror” is imminent, there are several good passages that will be quite satisfactory. If one wanted to hear that the war will continue indefinitely, perhaps even in expanded form, one could easily have found that. And if one wanted to know that the president who has spent almost five years killing people in multiple countries around the world feels personal “anguish” and moral conflict as he does it, because these issues are so very complicated, this speech will be like a gourmet meal.

      1. (cont)

        But whatever else is true, what should be beyond dispute at this point is that Obama’s speeches have very little to do with Obama’s actions, except to the extent that they often signal what he intends not to do. How many times does Obama have to deliver a speech embracing a set of values and polices, only to watch as he then proceeds to do the opposite, before one ceases to view his public proclamations as predictive of his future choices? Speeches, especially presidential ones, can be significant unto themselves in shaping public perceptions and setting the terms of the debate, so Obama’s explicit discussion of the “ultimate” ending of the war on terror can be reasonably viewed as positive.

        But it signals nothing about what he actually will do. I’m genuinely amazed that there are still smart people who treat these speeches as though they do. As Esquire’s Tom Junod put it after the speech: “if the Lethal Presidency reminds us of anything, it’s that we should be a long way from judging this president on his rhetoric or his portrayal of himself as a moral actor.” The Atlantic’s Conor Friedersdorf added that Obama “has a long record of broken promises and misleading rhetoric on civil liberties, and it would be naive to assume that he’ll follow through on everything he said on Thursday.”

        1. (cont)

          What Obama has specialized in from the beginning of his presidency is putting pretty packaging on ugly and discredited policies. The cosmopolitan, intellectualized flavor of his advocacy makes coastal elites and blue state progressives instinctively confident in the Goodness of whatever he’s selling, much as George W. Bush’s swaggering, evangelical cowboy routine did for red state conservatives. The CIA presciently recognized this as a valuable asset back in 2008 when they correctly predicted that Obama’s election would stem the tide of growing antiwar sentiment in western Europe by becoming the new, more attractive face of war, thereby converting hordes of his admirers from war opponents into war supporters. This dynamic has repeated itself over and over in other contexts, and has indeed been of great value to the guardians of the status quo in placating growing public discontent about their economic insecurity and increasingly unequal distribution of power and wealth. However bad things might be, we at least have a benevolent, kind-hearted and very thoughtful leader doing everything he can to fix it.

          1. IN other words, he is skilled at talking out of both sides of his mouth.

            1. Also out of his ass. Any orifice will do, really.

          2. However bad things might be, we at least have a benevolent, kind-hearted and very thoughtful leader doing everything he can to fix it.

            That’s the money line right there, and it perfectly encapsulates the “protect the king!” mindset of the left these days–“Oh, he’s not doing everything I hoped he would, but he means well!” “Oh, he just wants to make things right, but those meanie Republicans won’t let him!” You saw the same thing with Team Red and Bush’s policies.

            It’s an infantile mindset based on political loyalties rather than social principles. Probably the best thing about Obama is that he’s exposed the depth of hypocrisy of the political left in that they’ll quickly abandon their supposed ideals in favor of acquiring as much power as possible.

    3. He wants to invite the nation to reason together with him when nearly half the country thinks his premises and theirs are utterly at odds

      The other half can’t imagine how that half could think that.

    4. Well, you see, when you’re a “middle of the road liberal skeptic”, you get to be skeptical of everything and call it sophistication.

      “You say we shouldn’t torture people? I don’t know, I’m skeptical about that.”

      “You say the Constitution provides that no criminal punishment may be administered without a trial? Sorry, I really see both sides on this one.”

      1. Skeptical about everything except growing government power.

        1. Because that’s being skeptical of us! We are government! So being skeptical of government is just paranoia.


  14. Ellison: ‘Really Disappointing’ That Apple Doesn’t Want to Pay More Taxes

    “It seems to me they ought to want to help to pay the expenses of this country, so that everybody can have a fair shot,” Ellison said on MSNBC’s The Ed Show over the weekend.

    Ellison found it “really disappointing” that Apple wasn’t willing to pay higher taxes, arguing that it “wouldn’t be a multi-billion-dollar corporation but for the fact that the United States of America made it possible for them to be that successful.”

    “Taxes are not a punishment,” he explained, “taxes are the dues we pay to live in a civilized society.”

    1. “Taxes are not a punishment,” he explained, “taxes are the dues we pay to live in a civilized society.”

      I can see that; throughout the whole sequester imbroglio, the message from the government has been “Nice civilization you have there… it would be a shame if something were to happen to it…”

      1. It’s so cute how he thinks “dues” sounds better than “protection money.”

      2. The existence of a taxes is the surest sign that your society isn’t yet civilized.

    2. so we’re back to the ‘that iphone, you didn’t build that’ rhetoric? good gawd.

    3. “taxes are the dues we pay to live in a civilized society.”

      Taxes are the dues we pay for not being civilized.

      A civilized society has no need for government at all.

      1. Thank you.

        1. Ive read Common Sense. Apparently Ellison hasnt.

    4. IOW Congressman can’t understand why a company follows the law as passed by Congress instead of doing exactly what that single Congressman wants.

    5. Everyone has a fair shot to read the law and avoid as much monetary confiscation as legally possible.

  15. While meeting with Chinese leaders, the national security advisor Tom Donilon endorsed closer military ties between the U.S. and China.

    Maybe we can secure them that chain of Japanese islands they’ve had their eye on.

  16. So what a great episode of Game of Thrones huh? Dany rode back to Westeros on her dragons, Jon Snow was crowned King Beyond the Wall, and Robb sacked Kings Landing. Plus Cersei hatefucking Margeary.

    1. And some old guy got repeatedly fucked in the ass.

    2. I think you dreamed that. HBO took the week off.

  17. Ellison who?

    1. Larry Ellison, the scumbag who creams at the thought of making massive databases for the government to keep track of us.

    2. Clearly Harlon.

      Im sure its Larry.

    3. Harlan Ellison, I assumed.

  18. Ten Brands That Will Disappear in 2014

    Each year, 24/7 Wall St. identifies 10 important brands sold in America that we predict will disappear before 2014. This year’s list reflects the brutally competitive nature of certain industries and the importance of not falling behind in efficiency, innovation or financing.

    1. J.C. Penney
    2. Nook
    3. Martha Stewart Living Magazine
    4. LivingSocial
    5. Volvo
    6. Olympus
    7. WNBA
    8. Leap Wireless
    9. Mitsubishi Motors
    10. Road & Track

    1. WNBA – won’t be allowed to happen. Womens’ sports are entertaining even if you don’t think so.

      1. I am surprised they survived the last NBA collective bargaining agreement. I thought the player’s association would have demanded an end to the subsidy for the WNBA. Maybe once Stern is gone, the WNBA will be.

        1. I thought the player’s association would have demanded an end to the subsidy for the WNBA. Maybe once Stern is gone, the WNBA will be.

          Doubt it. The butthurt from professional sportswriters and the media at large in such an event would be massive. We’d be subject to weeks of navel-gazing articles on why society wants to crush the dreams of 15-year-old high school girls to be hit on by their coaches and various “WAR ON WIMMYNZ!” bullshit.

      2. “Womens’ sports are entertaining even if you don’t think so.”

        And by ‘you’, you mean everyone?

          1. I’m amazed it took an hour for that to be linked.

            1. I was slacking. I thought someone else would do it.

        1. No, that was the royal me.

    2. What’s the WNBA?

      1. It is where you go to watch players miss layups a lot and fall down even more.

        1. What, you don’t like watching bouncy-ball players that are six and a half feet tall make awkward-looking dunks?

    3. We can only hope number 7 is a definite dying off. Especially if Brian Griner… er, Brittany Griner thinks she can try out for the NBA, the WNBA has no reason to be.

      1. The biggest LOL was Mark Cuban pushing the idea of her trying out for the Mavs. That’s something Bill Veeck would try in a fit of desperation, not the owner of a successful franchise.

        Griner would get destroyed by all of the guys in the only position she could conceivably play, which is the 4. For that matter, she’s too slow to take on 3s and not strong enough to take on 5s. In the WNBA, she’s Bill Russell; in the NBA, she’s a shorter Mark Eaton.

    4. If you drive through my neighborhood, you would think Volvo was one of the top car sellers.

      1. We used to have a Saab. I liked driving through CT – where every 3rd car was a Saab or Volvo.

      2. I would have thought that Volvo would be a pretty valuable brand. Though now all cars are pretty safe, so perhaps it doesn’t have the distinction it once had.

      3. I woulda thought the Twilight product placement made Vulva big bucks…

      4. Audis here. You don’t want to look too rich.

    5. Each year, 24/7 Wall St. identifies…

      Any indication of how prescient they’ve been in prior years? Might help me decide whether to pay attention this year.

      1. I looked at the 2013 list, and 2 of the predictions were correct.

    6. I volunteer to destroy the last Volvo using a ten-pound sledgehammer while a boom box plays “Damn it feels good to be a gangsta”.

      1. I got to act out that scene (sans the background music) with a work fax/copier/scanner once. It was insanely fun.

    7. Wow, Volvo and Mitsubishi? That’ll be interesting to see if it comes to pass. The rest seem pretty realistic.

      1. Neither Volvo nor Mitsu have produced a truly new model in past few years. With nothing to drive in new customers, both have seen their sales go right into the shitter.

        Volvo could possibly contract down to Euro sales only.

  19. “”””While meeting with Chinese leaders, the national security advisor Tom Donilon endorsed closer military ties between the U.S. and China.”””

    How much will this cost? And this is on top of other promises for closer military ties with Vietnam, Philippines, South Korea, Japan. How about if we just stay out and save our money.

    1. That’s the beauty of it, we’ve figured they’ll start paying us instead of giving them services for free. We’re the only country which permits its citizens to be mercenaries, so we’ve secretly privatized the DoD as a mercenary organization.

  20. ‘New Deal’ to tackle Europe’s mass youth unemployment
    Germany and France are to tackle mass youth unemployment gripping southern Europe with a ‘New Deal’ aimed at curbing the mounting anger that is threatening to tear the eurozone apart.

    You know who else had a New Deal?

    1. Howie Mandel?

    2. The Cincinnati Kid?

    3. You know who else had a New Deal?
      Not Hakeem Nicks

    4. “What we need to fix our failed welfare state is another welfare state on top of the first one”

      1. It’s like putting a time machine inside a time machine – it goes even faster.

        1. Or a Starbucks inside of a Starbucks.

          1. With it own tiny adult book store.

            /Clerks the Animated series

    5. I dunno, but I bet Wild Bill Hickok wishes he had gotten one.

    6. Darth Vader?

  21. Will claims by arrested ‘Hot Dog Hooker’ cut the mustard?

    New York’s infamous “Hot Dog Hooker” allegedly tried to serve up the full works to one customer, but she didn’t know the customer was an undercover detective and is now facing a prostitution case, police said.

    Catherina G. Scalia, 47, of East Rockaway, New York, was arrested after she responded to a call to go a hotel on Long Island, police said. She even drove her hot dog vending truck there, authorities said.

    Scalia gave the undercover cop a massage — without a license — late Friday afternoon, police allege. She’s also accused of unauthorized practice, police said.

    1. Did she have good hands? Cause you have to have good hands to handle hot dogs.

      1. +1 Sizzlechest

  22. Road & Track

    They still publish Road and Track?

    1. No, they literally mean road and track. Because of the sequester.

  23. Heart device approval delays leave U.S. doctors frustrated

    One top researcher at the meeting called the United States “a Third World country” when it comes to availability of cutting-edge heart devices.

    Only Edwards’ original Sapien valve has U.S. approval – which it received in 2011, four years after Europe and elsewhere. European cardiologists have been using a next-generation version, which doctors find easier to maneuver into place and believe may cause less trauma to the artery, for three years.

    If you don’t love it, leave it!

    1. Clearly the problem is the mean-spirited opponents to Obamacare.

    2. FDA causes more deaths than it saves.

      Old news is old.

  24. President Obama will be visiting New Jersey to review Hurricane Sandy recovery, preferring to focus on natural disasters than the political ones engulfing his administration.

    This has been completely misread by the media. He won’t be visiting to “review the recovery” but to personally recite the magical incantations which will bring about the recovery. He will be the one performing the recovery in the same way as he was personally responsible for the killing of OBL.

      1. In New Jersey?????

        1. Who would want to have sex with New Jerseyans?

          1. Other New Jerseyans? They gotta come from somewhere, right?

          2. You wouldn’t want to have sex with this?

            1. Heavens yes! Also J-Woww.

  25. No, not Turkmenistan Airlines! Say it ain’t so!

    Are these the 10 worst airlines for economy class?

  26. Medical code finder

    Just type in what ails you (e.g., “bizarre personal appearance”) to get the official government medical code.

    You’re welcome.

    1. (e.g., “bizarre personal appearance”)

      They’ve got a code for Warty Syndrome?

      1. “Please, Sir. That’s ‘R461’. Kindly look at zee mup, uh, the map!”

    2. Y9349 Activity, other involving dancing and other rhythmic movements

    3. Medical codes are a scam? News at 11.

  27. Olivia Wilde frolicking in the ocean. Oh my.

    1. she showed off her toned, womanly figure

      Not the word I’d use to describe her nearly complete lack of tits and ass.

      And WTH is up with her forehead? It extends to the middle of the top of her skull.

      1. She is incredibly hot. I therefore conclude that you are wrong.

      2. And WTH is up with her forehead? It extends to the middle of the top of her skull.

        That’s what’s known as a fivehead.

    2. the body of a pre-teen boy

      1. They must be feeding pre-teen boys some serious estrogen where you’re from.

        1. I should clarify, the boxy outline of a preteen boy’s body. You are correct though, in so far as her cankles would not be pre-teen boy like.

          1. I really don’t pay enough attention to pre-teen boys to agree or disagree on either count. To each their own.

    3. I don’t see any washboard abs there. Not saying she’s not very attractive, but she could use a little more meat on her bones and a little more tone.

    4. Olivia Wilde nearly pops out of skimpy bikini

      Uh, no. She’s a beautiful woman, but “popping out” of a bikini is something she’ll never do without getting fat or having triplets.

  28. Candice Swanepoel x 2

  29. Ke$ha frolicking on stage. Call Barfman.

    1. Well, this solved my constipation problem this morning. Thanks, I guess.

  30. Kate Beckinsale goes shopping.

    1. You know, you could put all these in one giant post.

      1. Technically, he can’t, since H&R limits you to two links per post.

        1. Didn’t know that.

      2. No, actually, I couldn’t. Reason doesn’t allow more than two links per post.

        1. Here you go. Also, multiurl.com

        2. Somehow I saw Banjos post 5 links in one post though… all baby pics of Reason, but surprising nonetheless.

          1. This is getting confusing. Obviously they’ll need to ammend the title of the magazine, etc., to better differentiate it from the baby.

  31. Vaseline body armor.

  32. Want wine that was aged in the ocean?
    Only $1000/bottle

    1. ‘I think it’s a whole other element for adding diversity to the flavors that already exist within wine,’ said Gustavo.

      It’s a naive domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you’ll be amused by its presumption.

      /James Thurber

    2. I’ll move closer to the ocean and age my wine there. Or bring some of the ocean closer to home.

    3. I’ve had beach beer – cans of beer that have fallen off boats and eventually roll up on the beach.

      This is a private beach, so anything that washes up comes pretty far offshore.

      1. Japanese beer?

      2. We’re more likely to get “square grouper” on our beach. My dad, dumbass rule follower that he is, found one whilst running and reported it to the police, rather than instituting a more classical salvage model.

    4. If the ocean temperatures were greater than those in the temperature controlled warehouse, the aroma might be more evolved—this is probably not a good thing—but I can’t see any other mechanism for why there would be a change. Perhaps increased pressure helps drive reactions within the bottle? Are there any other indicia of changes (color, different HPLC profile, acidity, etc…)? How did they evaluate quality? Double-blind, triangle testing with multiple judges? Or did the owner just pop a bottle and go, “Yum!”?

      My main reaction to their claim that 3 months of aging made a noticeable difference is that it’s bullshit.

      1. Well, most claims about wine are bullshit.

  33. http://www.nypost.com/p/news/l…..3XqpEl5o3O

    Hard working, horn handed, blue collar, salt of the earth workingmen.

    1. He also blamed his meetings with the sandman on the effects of pain medication he takes for backaches he has suffered since he fell through a chair at a McDonald’s last year.

      That’s some funny shit, yo!

    2. “He eats lunch when he arrives at work at 2 p.m. Then, like clockwork, he goes to sleep with a cup of soda on the table and the straw in it,” said Marvin Robbins, a union vice president.

      “Then he wakes up, looks at his watch and says, ‘I have to get out before the traffic gets bad.’ He’s usually out by 4 p.m. after being at the office two hours.”

      Sweet gig.

    3. Nice purse he has sitting on the desk in the third pic, also (he’s wearing a purple shirt).

    4. “He’s always walking off with a doggie bag or extra boxes of food,” said another executive board member.

      I’ll admit, I’m impressed that this guy can walk off at all.

    5. He said it’s normal for executives to take “power naps.”

      I’d like to see evidence on 2 fronts: 1) that executives take power naps; and 2) that the president of a local union can, in any way, be considered an “executive.”

  34. Conor Friedersdorf opines that perhaps someone who admits to assassinating a citizen maybe should be held to some kind of standard:

    As I see it, a good rule of thumb is, if you wrongly kill an American citizen who also happens to be a minor, you lose the prerogative to keep what you did or how it happened a secret, especially if you then repeatedly tell Americans how much you value transparency and debate.

    1. “Another involuntary commitment, coming right up!”

    2. How about if you order extra-judicial assassinations of citizens you get impeached, kicked out of office, and go to jail? Or is that not nuanced enough?

      Goddamned Star Chamber justice and all we’re asking for is that he ‘fess up about what happened? Fuck that noise.

  35. http://www.theatlantic.com/sex…..en/275916/

    Guys, get your shocked face out. Johnny Depp is dating a hot younger woman.

    1. Those hot younger women just go wild over his ratty nail polish.

    2. It is shocking considering this tidbit on the girl he’s with:

      In December 2010 she “came out” to the crowd at the 25th anniversary celebration for GLAAD (The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation). She also told the website afterellen.com that for several years, her romantic partner has been photographer Tasya van Ree.

      1. Cyril: But you’re gay!
        Gillette: Girl, please. Nobody’s that gay.

    3. Aww, I was wondering what happened to Hugo Schwyzer after he left Jezebel.

    4. Ugh. What a stupid article (what I read of it anyway). Stupid because it equates the dating habits of Hollyweird with everyone.
      Here are some other article ideas for them.
      “What if couples stayed married for longer than 2 months? (example: Kardashians)” “What if young women stopped behaving like a crack whore given 2 weeks to live? (example: Lohan)”

      Meanwhile, in the middle part of the country, people continue to live normally and put celebrities in the proper context- as circus freaks.

  36. http://www.forbes.com/sites/pe…..g-is-here/

    Winter is coming.

    1. Three feet of sno blankets Adirondacks’ Whiteface Mountain after Memorial Day Weekend storm

      Meanwhile, some place called Otago, in the freaky antipodean regions, had an early for the season snowfall. (Click through the photos for the one of the snowman.)

      1. I was in northern Vermont for my cousin’s wedding Saturday afternoon. When I got to my car from the church there was about 1.5 inches of snow on it.

    2. In the end, the sun wins out.

    3. Eventually, the Starks are always right.

      1. Heat death for the loss.

  37. That’s kind of the point

    Mr Schipione said: “The catastrophic failure comes about because there are no standards around the manufacture of these weapons. They are truly undetectable. They are untraceable because they have no serial numbers, no unique identifiers. They are cheap and easy to make.”

  38. Finally the answer: Where does baby come from?

    1. No one puts baby in the commode.

      1. Especially if it’s a blackened, ash-covered barbecuing toilet…(see earlier in the comments)

  39. The cognitive dissonance on display in the Zimmerman trial right now is astounding. The state is trying to make the case that marijuana found in Trayvon’s system should be inadmissible… meanwhile Governor Rick Scott continues to campaign for drug testing welfare recipients. Either residual marijuana is important or it’s not! Make up your minds.

    1. The whole thing is a politically motivated show trial. They want to put him away because they think there will be riots if they don’t.

    2. The cognitive dissonance on display in the Zimmerman trial right now is astounding.

      If the above bugs you, are you really sure this law school thing is for you, GB? /sarc

      I’m not seeing a great deal of dissonance here.

      I’ve no idea why the MJ in Martin’s system would help the jury determine the validity of Z’s self-defense claim. Unless Z is claiming he smelt MJ use on Martin? Or otherwise claimed that Martin was intoxicated during the encounter? And I can see why evidence of MJ use would be unduly prejudicial against Martin, most libertarians being smart enough to get out of jury duty. So I don’t have a problem per se, with the test results being excluded.

      As for the welfare recipients bit, it’s shit, but doesn’t the State have the right to place whatever conditions it wishes on granting the State’s money?

      1. Oh, and I agree with Virginian about the State’s motives in this trial. (forgot to repaste that in my above post.)

        1. Yeah, and I have always been a fan of a truth based standard for criminal evidence.

          Fuck the supposed “prejudicial nature” of the evidence. Is it true? If it is true, then the defense can bring it up. It’s the prosecutions job to prove their case. If the fact that Martin smoked weed derails the felony murder case you brought, then your case sucks.

          1. The only way that it’s relevant is as a counter to the ‘Treyvon was an innocent angel that no one would have feared bs that is integral to the prosecutions case. Which is also irrelevant. So let it all in or none of it.

            1. Actually, Zaytsev, whether Martin liked to fight or not (which is what I think you mean by the “innocent angel BS”) is entirely relevant to determining Z’s self-defense claim. Hence, I think the text msgs Martin allegedly sent, talking about a previous fight he’d been in, are relevant and should be admitted into evidence (provided they meet the other requirements for admissible evidence).

              But whether or not he liked to engage in a little commerce from time to time, isn’t relevant to the question of whether he would have been likely to attack Z. On the contrary, doesn’t the fact he used MJ make it less likely that he’d attack Z for no reason? Or am I stereotyping all potheads?

              The reason that evidence whose prejudicial impact outweighs its probative value is excluded is because we want the jury to be focused on deciding the issues of fact before them, and not largely irrelevant stuff. See the commentaries on the applicable Federal Rule of Evidence, FRE 403, for more elegant and better argued reasons why than what I’ve written.

      2. Oh, I have no problems with MJ either. My thought was that it’s rich to say it’s relevant to have testing done for welfare recipients, even if it’s not actively impairing them at the time of the test, but then the state (different arm, granted) is arguing that the amount in Trayvon’s system is so little that he was most likely not under any influence during the fight.

        I suppose in the sense that it is two different people/departments, it’s not exactly cognitive dissonance in the strictest sense. But it still seems like a very strange line to walk considering they would push for it to be admissible were there traces of MJ found in Zimmerman’s blood/urine.

        Also, there have been more than a few head scratch moments when I think about going to law school, but I’m just misguided and optimistic enough to think that I can affect some great change on the legal world 😉

        1. Zimmerman is claiming self defense. The media and the prosecution have constructed this myth that Trayvon Martin was a saint, and Zimmerman’s defense is threatened by that. So Zimmerman wants to introduce Martin’s problems at school, his drug use, and his social media statements.

          Because Martin was a vandal and a drug user does not mean he assaulted Zimmerman, but it shows a pattern of criminal behavior.

        2. affect effect some great change (.

        3. Well, I see a bitter, bitter disillusionment in someone’s future.

          Or maybe that’s my past. What do I know?

  40. In TiA thread (sarcastically) discussing how white people don’t actually need food to survive but eat anyway to take food away from PoCs, we find this gem:

    Starvation = Hunger + oppression. God, I can’t believe you really think white people can starve.

    1. So wait, are they sarcastic or serious?

      1. Deliciously sarcastic

  41. Just A Quick Note to Atheists (From an Atheist)

    I’ll cut the nice pieces out of the 36(!)-point list:

    7. Evolutionary psychology is sexist, racist, cissexist, ableist, and heterosexist.
    This includes evolutionary psychology that (supposedly) supports atheism.
    Supporting evo-psych means
    You have not done your homework, or
    You are prejudiced.

    13. Not everything should be about science.
    There. I said it.

    19 .Being atheist does not mean you are automatically not allistic.
    If you don’t know what that means, look it up.
    You can use Google.

    25. Being colorblind is only okay if you literally cannot see or distinguish colors.
    Otherwise, it’s racist.

    26. Religions derive strength and power from the social power of their followers.
    Which is why evangelical Christianity is a better target than Black Christianity.

    29. If you think black people are mean to you,
    You’re probably white,
    And won’t say you are
    Because white people never say they’re white.

    31. If you refuse to identify your privileged identities,
    I’m going to assume you just think you’re ‘normal’
    And moderate you.

    In the sidebar: Dear Aspies Who Want To Keep DSM Separation of Autistic Diagnoses,

    1. Being colorblind is only okay if you literally cannot see or distinguish colors. Otherwise, it’s racist.

      So MLK, Jr was a racist. Check.

      Lets see the logic:

      1. Treating races differently because of their race is racist.
      2. Treating races the same is racist.

      Equality has been reached! We are all racist!

      1. Equality has been reached! We are all racist!

        I’m not racist, I’m IQist. I just fucking hate stupid people.

      2. No, no, no! Here’s the actual logic, robc:
        1. Treating races differently because of their race when it conflicts with progressive policy goals is racist.
        2. Treating races the same when it conflicts with progressive policy goals is racist.

        It’s all about the intentions.

    2. I looked up “allistic”…I’m not really sure that Google helped though.

      1. “non-autistic”

        Yes, it’s stupid

        1. I wonder if even they have problems keeping all the made up terms straight (wait, is using that word heteronormative bigotry?).

      2. We had to invent a special word for not being fucked in the head because… why, exactly?

        1. I think it’s actually supposed to be for people who aren’t fucked in the head but live with/care for/etc. someone who is, so they think they are an “ally”–that is to say, I think it’s supposed to be a slur. You can think you are an “ally” of [insert person with a problem] but instead of being an “ally” you are just an “allist” and say things like “I live with autism” when *you* don’t actually live with autism. It seem bad.

          1. http://crackedmirrorinshalott……-say-what/

            The word “allism”, invented for this article, is intended to precisely complement “autism”.
            It is based on the Greek word “allos”, meaning “other”, just as “autos” (in “autism”) means “self”.

          2. Ahh. So the autists need a word to insult all of us pinks and normals. I’m thinking that doesn’t end well for them, but then I can function in daily life. If you can’t, insulting the people who make it possible for you seems like it could backfire.

        2. “invent a special word for not being fucked in the head”


          1. If by “in the head” you mean “in the ear canal”, then yes.

            1. Ear canal, mouth, eye socket; whatever works.

        3. See: ciswoman.

      3. Same. I have no idea what I was supposed to be getting from that list.

      4. Seriously. It’s autism for people who want the oppression of autism but lack the condition?

        Its like that trans-race stuff. Although the trans-race stuff hilariously piss off liberals

        1. When there is a discussion of transgenders, the trans-race thing pisses off some Hit and Runners too.

    3. What does any of that have to do with atheists in particular?

      And I’m all for people expressing sexuality in whatever way they want, but it just might be that evolution is (in a manner of speaking) sexist, cissexist and all that. The fact that sexes exist at all it pretty strong evidence for that, I think.
      I don’t see how it’s racist, though. Perhaps xenophobic.

      1. There is a controversial “movement” called Atheism+, where the “plus” is “social justice”.

        They like to lecture other atheists about how racist, misogynist, atheist, cissexist, etc. they are.

        So except for some parts I left out about not making fun of Muslims or black Christians or voodoo because teh racism, it doesn’t have much to do with atheism per se. It’s just lecturing them about an ideology the A+ people want them to adopt.

        1. Silly me. Here I thought atheism was just lack of belief in gods.

          1. Check your dictionary-definition privilege, shitlord.

          2. The feminists call it “intersectionality.” Because they’ve never understood that brevity is the soul of wit.

            1. Sugarfree: my feminism will be intersectional or it will be BULLSHIT!

              1. I call it Sarcasm+. The + means I’m also touching myself through my slacks.

      1. Uncaring asshole wins out every time.

    4. Because white people never say they’re white.


    5. 31. If you refuse to identify your privileged identities,
      I’m going to assume you just think you’re ‘normal’
      And moderate you.

      What? Is she saying that she deletes comments that aren’t prefaced by a confession of ethnicity and social class?

      1. Comments she doesn’t agree with that aren’t prefaced by ethnicity and social class, probably

        And you forgot sexuality and neurotypicality (or lack thereof), bigot

  42. Toronto Mayor Rob Ford denies smoking crack cocaine, you hosers.

    Fuckin LOL at that picture–he looks like he’s hanging out with Upgrayedd and his homies in a cut scene from Idiocracy.

    1. DD for a double dose of pimpn!

  43. And speaking of evopsych….

    Marcotte toutes a study which confirms PUA theory.

    Someone didn’t do their homework.

  44. Ted Cruz is fucking awesome. Who else could get Slate to defend John McCain?

    More proof of Balko’s statist media theory.

    1. I was struck by how much he enjoyed preening for the cameras. All senators do, but Cruz stands out, with his proud contempt for Republicans along with Democrats.

      I like how this woman thinks contempt for Senators is somehow a bad thing.

      1. It always astounds me when someone tells me I should respect politicians more?

        Sorry, but that’s fucking unAmerican. There was exactly one politician in the history of the country that was universally respected.

        1. Sorry, but that’s fucking unAmerican. There was exactly one politician in the history of the country that was universally respected.


          But he was on the wrong side of the whiskey rebellion.

          1. I knew someone would post that video.


      Self-report study detected!


    2. I hate that. They ask whether people have not had the money to buy all the food they say that they “need” at least once in the past year and then make it out as if all those people are starving.

      1. Agreed. Self-reporting for this kind of data is worse than worthless. More than anything I think this is just a comparison of different cultures. Who’s more willing to say “woe is me” to a complete stranger? Apparently Americans have no problem with that.

    3. Well how do you expect them to eat when they spend all of their money on cell phones, more clothes, rims for their cars, and bling?

    4. uh… food banks? charity?

    1. he blatantly appropriated the violent oppression of Muslim women


      1. The comical thing is that these people spend hours talking and thinking and getting angry about this shit.

    2. I usually hate Dawkins (I prefer Hitchens for my daily dose of atheism), but I support him based on this comment on the article:

      Melissa McEwan Moderator 05/24/2013 11:36 AM

      [Dawkins said] Probably studied sociology.


      1. Ceaselessly mocking fake academic disciplines is the duty of all self respecting people.

        No, appending -ology to your stupid bullshit doesn’t make you a scientist.

        1. And degrees ending in ‘studies’ are for people that couldn’t cut it in ‘-ology’

        2. I agree it’s not science, but I don’t think that necessarily makes it a fake discipline. There is certainly some sociology worth doing (though probably more that isn’t).

      2. Silverwane 05/24/2013 11:48 AM in reply to Ana Mardoll
        Well, we all know that sociology isn’t a REAL science. You know, like physics. Chemistry. Biology. The shit that privileged white men do.


        Science is racist!

    1. It’s why I don’t start shit with strangers. You never know if they’re with the police or another violent gang of thugs.

      1. The members of the local Puerto Rican motorcycle gang like to sew patches with pithy sayings onto their rockers. I recently saw one at Autozone that had a patch that said “Don’t start no shit, there won’t be no shit!” Well said, I thought.

        1. It’s the foreign policy principle of the Virginian’s Presidential Campaign.

          1. Of course, nothing tops the one in the background of Charles Ramsey’s interview with his “I’d talk about my dick, but that’s a long story” and “I’m not Mr. Right, but I’ll fuck you till he gets here” patches.

      2. Last I heard, dude wasn’t even in jail, “pending investigation”. I’m sure if any of us shot a dude in a street dispute, they’d just let us roam free while they “investigated”.

        1. Yeah he was off duty. So basically, a guy with a concealed weapon shot another guy after an argument, and there was no investigation.

  45. http://kotaku.com/four-things-…..-509743760

    Borderlands 2 DLC. Coming June 25. Most cool.

    1. That really is retarded.

    2. Too many words, impossible to tell point. I thought leftists at least had some talent for graphic design.

    3. Um, the $121 million in political expenditures is less than one-half percent of the $30 billion earnings.

    4. Lots of people drive. Gas companies make profits! And the Keystone XL will not bring gas prices down!

      Holy Non-sequitor, Batman!

    5. Oh god, they’ve learned how to add typography and pie charts to their political opinions to make them seem “knowledgeable”.

    6. I got an uncloseable anti-Koch ad. Fuck you, Skynet, I know I’m coming in from the Kochtopus.

      1. I got the same uncloseable ad. I wanted to know which papers to subscribe to, because I can think of no higher praise for a periodical than THinkprogress telling me to not read it.

    7. These people really need to make up their mind. Do they want lower gas prices or for people to use less fossil fuels? The two are almost mutually exclusive.

      1. Not if they use the government to force both of their personal preferences.

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