Friday Funnies: Graduation Day

Henry Payne | 5.24.2013 7:00 AM

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Fist of Etiquette 12 years ago

Zach Braff graduates from Death Valley University.
Palin's Buttplug 12 years ago

Wayne Allyn Root gets destroyed on The Daily Show last night.

http://www.thedailyshow.com/

(segment - The Only Unfair Thing Ever)
1. WTF 12 years ago
  
  NEEDZ MOAR CHRISTFAGGG!!111111!!!
2. KPres 12 years ago
  
  Regarding profiling, let's keep in mind that the Democrats want to profile people so they can steal MORE money from them, whereas when the conservatives want to profile, they're trying to prevent theft (or terrorism or whatever), so even when they're both being statist pieces of shit, the Democrats are worse, because even the ends they have in mind are corrupt!
  
  🙂
3. VG Zaytsev 12 years ago
  
  Hey dumbshit.
  
  Your link is to a pretty effective attack on your messiah, not WAR.
UnCivilServant 12 years ago

Someone set up a prank sign by Sonora U?
invisible furry hand 12 years ago

Is this about global warming or racism? Or that meat is murder? I can't tell.
1. RBS 12 years ago
  
  I think it's about water rights in the western states.
Floridian 12 years ago

Do people not look to see what jobs are in demand before spending time and money on a degree? My wife is a middle school counselor and prints off list of the fields with the highest demand and potential for growth. She is giving this information to 12 year olds and they are able to understand it. What happened to higher education?
BTW actuarial science is one of the highest demand with starting pay above 50k.
1. WTF 12 years ago
  
  Do people not look to see what jobs are in demand before spending time and money on a degree?
  
  You mean, there's not a big demand for womyns studies graduates? The hell you say!
  1. Floridian 12 years ago
    
    Well there might be. Congress should fund a 10 year fact finding mission. It is not like the information is just floating around on the intertoob or something.
2. UnCivilServant 12 years ago
  
  I did, now I'm stuck doing a job I hate because it's my main marketable skill.
  
  My consolation prize is the ability to pay rent and buy food.
3. wareagle 12 years ago
  
  What happened to higher education?
  
  it got taken over by people who do not value actual education but instead see their role of reshaping society into the utopia they keep pretending is possible.
4. alan_s 12 years ago
  
  "Do people not look to see what jobs are in demand before spending time and money on a degree?"
  
  This fluctuates. Four years changes a lot of things. I know because I graduated with an engineering degree and spent a year living with my parents afterwards.
SIV 12 years ago

Why do you think they call it dope?
1. WTF 12 years ago
  
  I guess she's going for the Full Lohan.
  1. SIV 12 years ago
    
    SILENCE!
    
    Lindsay Lohan is the Goddess. Amanda Bynes is nothing but a crazy washed-up has-been child actress.
    1. WTF 12 years ago
      
      Umm...okay.
2. Certified Public Asskicker 12 years ago
  
  This is very sad, as Amanda and I are the same age, I have grown up wanting to bang her since 10-12 years old.
  
  She's all Warty's now.
  1. Heroic Mulatto 12 years ago
    
    Are you daft man? Think of how much of a freak she'd be in bed!
    1. Certified Public Asskicker 12 years ago
      
      My wife would always watch her movies, so she might be into her too...
      
      I'll reconsider.
  2. sulphurbottom 12 years ago
    
    I hope you mean since you were 10-12 years old.
    1. Certified Public Asskicker 12 years ago
      
      Both of us being 12.
Death Rock and Skull 12 years ago

I don't get this cartoon. I've always wanted a job dealing with cacti but it seems like you have to know someone. Payne sucks.
np 12 years ago

In reality the job market varies quite a bit. If your in STEM or IT, there is actually lots of opportunity as you'll easily see when you search. But it's also hugely competitive and many of the employers are looking for people with the exact qualifications. It's kind of unrealistic IMO, but given the large supply they can do that. Most of the positions for senior or experienced positions and there's a lot of turnover between companies, but very little in the way for new grads or those looking to start fresh in different niche even within the same area
1. np 12 years ago
  
  *i wish there was an edit button*
2. UnCivilServant 12 years ago
  
  Going into IT from college all of the jobs were "3-5 Years experience manditory". When I had 3 years, it was "5-7 years manditory". Now that I have five...
  
  Where are all the entry level positions anyway?
  1. sarcasmic 12 years ago
    
    No job, no experience. No experience, no job.
    1. Neoliberal Kochtopus 12 years ago
      
      Tell me about it.
  2. Lord Humungus 12 years ago
    
    heh - when I got out of college, I saw one job ad for "FoxPro Developer, 7 years experience". Anyone remember that POS? Anyway I think at that time the package had only been out for 6-7 years. So basically the wanted someone who had "programmed" with the package since the first release - in DOS.
    1. sarcasmic 12 years ago
      
      Round here there are job postings for COBOL developers.
      1. LTC(ret) John 12 years ago
        
        Know anyone with FORTRAN experience, we need 'em!
      2. Lord Humungus 12 years ago
        
        I hate Cobol. And Fortran.
        
        Of course I program in Progress. (along with a mix of Unix & Windows scripting). Awk anyone?
    2. CampingInYourPark 12 years ago
      
      heh - when I got out of college, I saw one job ad for "FoxPro Developer, 7 years experience". Anyone remember that POS?
      
      I used FP to write our company's accounting app a few years back, relying solely on the manual to learn it. And yes, it was a POS, but not that difficult to learn and at least functional.
      1. Lord Humungus 12 years ago
        
        I had to use it for a large QC project that eventually went nowhere. At least for that concept, it was completely the wrong package to use. (Not that I had any decision in that - I was just a peon back then).
  3. Coeus 12 years ago
    
    Same exact position I'm in. It's like a cruel joke. I'm hoping year 5 is what gets me out of purgatory.
3. Almanian! 12 years ago
  
  Heh. I left IT once I graduated and went into MANAGEMENT.
  
  Now I can have my orphans and eat them, too.
  
  Bonus - no late nights programming till midnight! Huzzah!
  1. Coeus 12 years ago
    
    you sonavabitch
  2. Lord Humungus 12 years ago
    
    I only put in ~30-35 hrs a week. Of course I'm on call 24/7, but I've tightened the systems far enough that it's damn rare to get a call.
    
    So yes, the good part about being in internal IT support - no massive soul crushing projects, tons of free time, and very little managerial oversight.
Tonio 12 years ago

Fear and Loathing in Academia? Srsly, looks like the original Ralph Steadman cover for F&L in LV.
SIV 12 years ago

Those grads should change their mortarboards for sombreros before attempting a risky border crossing.
1. UnCivilServant 12 years ago
  
  You mean there are high skilled jobs in Mexico?
  1. wareagle 12 years ago
    
    running a drug cartel is a tough business that requires a working knowledge of several things, like logistics, security, who in govt to bribe, etc. No one's teaching that here, well, other than teh Ivy pipeline into US govt jobs.
Xenocles 12 years ago

This probably could have been done without the standard 'political cartoon metaphor label.'
Lord Humungus 12 years ago

needs more labelz!

like College, Graduate, Stairs, Degree, Sun, Bird. I have spoken.
KPres 12 years ago

So, the job market sucks, which implies that there's an oversupply of labor. Yet profits are high, which implies that there's an undersupply of entrepreneurship. Doesn't it follow that the market is saying "Don't go to college, become an entrepreneur. We need fewer laborers and more business owners."

(And of course our Dear Leader responds by subsidizing education, and belittling business owners! No wonder this economy sucks.)

Kids get bombarded with stats showing the difference in incomes between a college graduates and everybody else, and think it must be a good investment. But those stats don't differentiate non-graduates that become entrepreneurs vs those that just get blue-collar/service-sector jobs. Of course the graduate is going to earn more than the latter, I'd like to see a study comparing them to the former.
1. Xenocles 12 years ago
  
  No. The market is not a source of information. The market is a machine that produces happiness for society and it's currently broken. What we need now are educated people to come in and fix the machine for us so that it does the same thing as before.
2. CampingInYourPark 12 years ago
  
  Kids get bombarded with stats showing the difference in incomes between a college graduates and everybody else
  
  And the assumption is that these statistics can never change. I would agree that if you're the average Joe...or Josephina, that can only envision a career where you work for somebody else, being a college graduate is probably a good decision. If your goals are a little more independent minded, college can be a huge waste of time and money.
  1. VG Zaytsev 12 years ago
    
    I would agree that if you're the average Joe...or Josephina, that can only envision a career where you work for somebody else,
    
    The problem is that our education system prepares kids for, and gives them the expectation of, long term stable salary employment and increasingly the only place to find that is in government.
3. Neoliberal Kochtopus 12 years ago
  
  And without any sort of experience, how exactly are you planning on getting the capital to start that business?
  1. CampingInYourPark 12 years ago
    
    "And without any sort of experience, how exactly are you planning on getting the capital to start that business?"
    
    My brother in law owns a wholesale personal security device company. He started out selling pepper spray from the trunk of his car and I don't know how much his company is worth now, but he has a very large warehouse and lives a pretty good lifestyle. Maybe he borrowed some money from his parents to start out. I never asked about that.
  2. KPres 12 years ago
    
    How do you get capital to pay for college?
    
    Anyway I was just an oversimplifying to make a point. More generally, I'm saying that as people plan their careers moves, they should de-emphasize education followed up by bitching about the lack of jobs, and focus more on looking for entrepreneural opportunities.
    
    It doesn't help that there's a large segment of the population that trashes entrepreneurs and blanket glorifies education, rather than respecting each in it's place. Those people are part of the problem.
LTC(ret) John 12 years ago

Payne, making me long for Bok since....well, OK, not really.
1. invisible furry hand 12 years ago
  
  seek help now
Almanian! 12 years ago

Why would they have their graduation ceremony in the middle of a desert?

Oh - CAUSE EDUMACATION IT STUPID! Moar labelz would have helped 'splain this.

PS This was in the Detroit News a couple days ago. Usually The Reason gets Payne's lesser work. Now everyone does. Equality! Also - way to reduce, reuse, recycle, Reason!
Tim 12 years ago

There will always be jobs for vultures and other eaters of carrion.
Coeus 12 years ago

Where are the morning links, dammit? I've found more feminist stupidity today than a weeks worth of marcotte articles. The sadist in me is just dying to subject y'all to it.
1. Lord Humungus 12 years ago
  
  9AM! (EST)
2. Neoliberal Kochtopus 12 years ago
  
  Don't you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby!
  1. Coeus 12 years ago
    
    Muahahahaha.

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