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The Obama Administration Has a Very Bad Day, Strict Salt Guidelines Questioned, U.S. Soon To Be a Net Oil Exporter: P.M. Links

J.D. Tuccille | 5.14.2013 4:30 PM

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  • Jay Carney
    U.S. Government

    In an entertainingly tense press conference, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney repeatedly claimed that President Obama supports an "unfettered" freedom of the press that must be "balanced" by national security concerns. Ummm …

  • The Obama administration, by the way, has prosecuted more leakers-to-the-press than any previous president.
  • In his own press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder says he has recused himself from the probe into the AP mess. The usual unnamed DOJ official says the phone records were actually nabbed by Deputy Attorney General James Cole.
  • The White House also denies any early knowledge of inappropriate targeting of government critics by the Internal Revenue Service. The IRS leadership itself denied any such knowledge, even though it definitely knew all.
  • The influential Institute of Medicine says there no scientific basis for urging people to cut their salt intake in half.
  • Brazil legalizes gay marriage and— Wait … It wasn't already?
  • The The National Transportation Safety Board wants states to lower the legal blood-alcohol limit to .05 from the current .08. Good luck with that after-work drink.
  • Don't get too invested in the idea of a future full of windmills and solar panels; the International Energy Agency says the United States has such vast shale oil reserves, that it will soon account for a third of new oil supplies and become a net oil exporter.

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NEXT: EU Investigating Price Fixing at Oil Companies

J.D. Tuccille is a contributing editor at Reason.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    ...the International Energy Agency says the United States has such vast shale oil reserves, that it will soon account for a third of new oil supplies and become a net oil exporter.

    Which must be regulated to the point of making them as costly as wind farms and solar.

    1. Tim   12 years ago

      Carbon Tax!

      1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

        Carbon 'penalty'!

        1. Francisco d Anconia   12 years ago

          Carbon penaltax?

          1. Tim   12 years ago

            Carbon Penis Tax

          2. NeonCat   12 years ago

            Carbon Penaltax and the Frackers of Ogallala - better name for a serial SF movie or band name?

    2. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      Bet you didn't think Obama was going to achieve energy independence this way, did you?

      1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

        Lower energy costs benefit the poor more than any other group. Let's see how hard they work to stop that.

        1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

          As long as we keep those poor bastards priced out of the housing market!

    3. deified   12 years ago

      OT, Sad News: The important libertarian activist and Gary Johnson campaign organizer Hardy Macia has passed away at 42. The article beautifully describes his fight for freedom which lasted until the very end. RIP.

      1. Zeb   12 years ago

        That's sad. And I just voted for him for congress. He had a nice ad for his campaign where he was sitting in a hospital bed, obviously not well, and arguing against Obamacare and socialized medicine in general.

      2. elfprince13   12 years ago

        Finally a Vermonter a Libertarian can be proud of.

        1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

          Fuck you. I'm awesome.

          1. Nikki makes the sign of a tsp   12 years ago

            Maybe, but you're a masshole now anyway.

      3. Clich? Bandit   12 years ago

        I was saddened to hear the news. Hardy and I worked together on several occasions. Probably the biggest GJ2012 supporter. RIP buddy.

  2. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    The Obama administration, by the way, has prosecuted more leakers-to-the-press than any previous president.

    I swear there was an Illinois Senator back in 2007 that opposed these sorts of things. Whatever happened to that fellow?

    1. Irish   12 years ago

      But when Bush did it, he did it worse. Every leaker that Bush prosecuted was worth 10 leakers that Obama prosecutes, because Bush was doing it out of base malevolence, as opposed to Obama doing it out of national security concerns.

    2. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

      Little did he know there would be so many racists in the government and press who so hate the idea of a blackish president that they would leak and leak and leak to bring him down.

    3. free2booze   12 years ago

      The Obama administration, by the way, has prosecuted more leakers-to-the-press than any all previous presidents combined.

  3. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    ...President Obama supports an "unfettered" freedom of the press that must be "balanced" by national security concerns.

    Depends what your definition of unfettered is.

    1. Mad Scientist   12 years ago

      tr.v. un?fet?tered, un?fet?ter?ing, un?fet?ters
      To set free or keep free from restrictions or bonds, except those imposed by Obama.

      1. NeonCat   12 years ago

        If they were truly patriotic they'd bind themselves for Obama. How it saddens Him that He must do it for them.

        1. Fool   12 years ago

          Is that what he tells his wife? If you really love this country, you'll let me bind you?

          1. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

            It's less above love and more to do with following leash laws.

      2. SIV   12 years ago

        "Put y'all BACK in chains!"

    2. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

      Well, "fetter" derives ultimately from the Latin word for foot. So he means "unfooted", which I guess refers to a press that he doesn't kick. He's promising to not literally kick reporters?

      1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

        How about investigators who have no solid footing under them?

        1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

          Sure. Watch out, you may fall from a great height if you DARE QUESTION THIS ADMINISTRATION.

          1. Mad Scientist   12 years ago

            AP, remember when I said I would kill you last?

            1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

              "Freedom of the press" clearly refers to the right of licensed winemakers to make wine.

              1. Whahappan?   12 years ago

                It's now "freedom from the press."

    3. Rich   12 years ago

      Depends what your definition of unfettered is.

      Uninfringed?

      1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

        Based on the Latin infringere, "to damage, break off." Which means that the press shouldn't be broken up into separate companies.

        1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

          Way to be the father from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Pro L.

          1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

            What does this mean? Was he a Latin scholar? I thought he was Greek?

            1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

              No, he'd take any word and tie it back to the Greek. At one point one of the kids thinks she's got him and asks the Greek root for "kimono" and he loops it back to some Greek word for pajamas or something. Eyes were rolled.

              1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

                Well, Greek's no Latin.

    4. Sevo   12 years ago

      ...President Obama supports an "unfettered" freedom of the press that must be "balanced" by national security concerns.

      "Depends what your definition of unfettered is."

      Nope. It just means that Obozo will decide when publishing something is OK and when it isn't.

      1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

        Duly licensed press will not have to worry.

  4. Ted S.   12 years ago

    It could be worse for Jay Carney. It's not as if he was molesting an intern.

    1. Bardas Phocas   12 years ago

      At my job, we call that Tuesday.

    2. Brett L   12 years ago

      Pssh. "Molesting" a 21 year old?

  5. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    The The National Transportation Safety Board wants states to lower the legal blood-alcohol limit to .05 from the current .08.

    THE SYSTEM NEEDS FED.

    1. Tim   12 years ago

      Lower it to .01. Save everybody.

      1. Caleb Turberville   12 years ago

        Look, just lower it to what the average person would have after a glass of Jim Beam and a soft-shelled chicken taco and be done with it.

        1. Jerryskids   12 years ago

          I could support that. Assuming you are talking about a real 20 ounce glass and not that piddly 12 ounce 'glass'.

          1. Francisco d Anconia   12 years ago

            +1 dead poor child carrying a puppy

          2. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

            32oz of Chimay or Golden Monkey plus a shot of silver tequila.

          3. Whahappan?   12 years ago

            This reminds me of when I saw "Mary Poppins" on Broadway with my daughter. I was kinda shocked at the $17 price for a scotch on the rocks, but then pleased when it was served in a 20 oz. cup with a big-assed straw.

      2. Rainbow   12 years ago

        .01? Clearly you favor running over children. -madd

        1. Bobarian   12 years ago

          Well, I do clearly enjoy running over children, and it is more enjoyable with a clear head.

          1. EDG reppin' LBC   12 years ago

            Or a clear bottomed car.

            1. NeonCat   12 years ago

              Why not just put GoPros front, back and underneath? You don't have to worry about grit scuffing the bottom that way.

              1. Bobarian   12 years ago

                Evidence?

                As police officers demonstrate daily, you want to be careful what you capture on digits.

      3. Francisco d Anconia   12 years ago

        Let's just ban alcohol altogether.

        1. sulphurbottom   12 years ago

          If it saves just one life, it's worth it.

        2. Francisco d Anconia   12 years ago

          Not one damn Airplane fan?

          1. Night Elf Mohawk   12 years ago

            You have to admit that it's pretty hard to pull that one off in a comments thread.

          2. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

            Let's just ban alcohol.

            1. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

              Seems like it would be easier if we just banned assholes from voting.

  6. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    Syrian rebels post video of one of their commanders eating the organs of a dead enemy.

    Well that can't be halal.

    1. NeonCat   12 years ago

      Dun dun dun de dun dun JIHAD EATS!

      1. Live Free or Diet   12 years ago

        Kinda brings new meaning to eat your heart out.

    2. db   12 years ago

      ?eating the organ of a dead enemy...

      Ahmed! Dude, they said to blow up the defending force!

    3. VG Zaytsev   12 years ago

      Actually it is halal.

    4. Tim   12 years ago

      Baal worship enjoying a come back.

    5. Suthenboy   12 years ago

      That kind of cannibalism is common today in equitorial africa, and I am sure it has taken place everywhere on earth at one time or another.

      Now, where are those people who called me a bigot for saying the ME was chock full of savages?

      1. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

        Hey their just being green.

    6. Rights-Minimalist Autocrat   12 years ago

      +1 fava beans and chianti

    7. sasob   12 years ago

      From the linked article:

      Syrian soldiers slowly stab a man to death, puncturing his back dozens of times. A rebel commander bites an organ ripped out of an enemy combatant. A young boy hacks the head off a prisoner. A soldier mutilates the genitals of a corpse.

      Oh big deal! At least they didn't waterboard anybody or lead them around with a dog leash - no women making fun of their little peckers or anything.

  7. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

    The founder of the "Mothers' Bill of Rights" has a HuffPo page.

    It's as awful as you'd expect.

    For the past five years, Ms. Watts has been a stay-at-home mom in Zionsville, a suburb of Indianapolis, Indiana. Prior to that, she had a 15-year career as a communications executive for both public relations agencies and Fortune 500 corporations. Ms. Watts was not an activist or involved in gun issues prior to the shootings at Sandy Hook on Dec. 14, 2012. The day after the tragedy, she started a Facebook page called Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America. Since then, Moms Demand Action has become a nonprofit organization with tens of thousands of members and more than 80 local chapters across the country. Ms. Watts' goal is for Moms Demand Action to become the Mothers Against Drunk Driving of safe gun laws.

    1. Irish   12 years ago

      Ms. Watts' goal is for Moms Demand Action to become the Mothers Against Drunk Driving of safe gun laws.

      An organization that started with a reasonable goal, overstepped, and subsequently became borderline fascist and neo-puritan?

      1. NeonCat   12 years ago

        See, she's saving everyone a lot of time.

      2. Tim   12 years ago

        Moms Demand Donations

      3. Apatheist ?_??   12 years ago

        What reasonable goal did MADD ever have (politically anyways)? Fuck them.

    2. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      I agree, there should be action when someone kills a bunch of kids. Thankfully every jurisdiction I am aware of has laws against murder. It's too bad they can't be applied to someone who is dead.

    3. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

      MDAGSA? I don't get it.

      1. Rhywun   12 years ago

        I thought at first they were going for "MAGAZINE".

        1. Joe M   12 years ago

          Moms Against Guns And Zealous Ignorant Nazi Enemies

      2. Rich   12 years ago

        M'dagsa is the Swahili word for "gun safety".

        *** turns head and bites lip ***

      3. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

        15-year career as a communications executive for both public relations agencies and Fortune 500 corporations

        Worst communications executive ever! Any communications director worth its salt should be able to come up with an acronymable organization name. Violence Abusing Guns Is Not Acceptable. There it's not that hard.

        1. Sevo   12 years ago

          There was a guy answering questions earlier today who could have used your help.

    4. Scotticus Finch   12 years ago

      Since then, Moms Demand Action has become a nonprofit organization with tens of thousands of members Facebook followers and more than 80 local chapters other Facebook groups across the country.

      Let's not act like there's a bustling MDAfGSiA headquarters popping up on every corner.

    5. db   12 years ago

      As Arianna said, I found it strange to think Ms Watts destroyed two Constitutional Amendments a month just working at home on the laptop.

      1. Mad Scientist   12 years ago

        Roll that beautiful bean footage!

        1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

          that db guy is shady as the day is long lol

    6. EDG reppin' LBC   12 years ago

      Hahahahaha! I banged her in high school. No wonder she's afraid of guns.

      1. A Serious Man   12 years ago

        For real?

        1. EDG reppin' LBC   12 years ago

          No. Just trying for a bit of internet humor; comparing my unit to a deadly gun.

          But she is a MILF. I'd bang her.

          1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

            Damn. Well if you won't admit to having done the deed, then *someone* here has to!

            Hyperion, maybe? Heroic Mulatto?

            1. Heroic Mulatto   12 years ago

              I ain't going to lie, I'd blow a nut in that mom.

          2. Suthenboy   12 years ago

            Y'all need to meet some real women. All this banging of moderately good looking females with despicable character....I dont get.

            Come to the south and meet some hotties that like to hunt, fish, and jump in the swimming hole from a rope swing. Hell, I have had girlfriends that were better shots than I am. They are here, they are real. They exist and they have no idea what grievance mongering or identity politics is.

            1. #HOLO YOLO   12 years ago

              All the girls I know that like to shoot are libertarian or Asian.

              Unfortunately never both at the same time, though, AFAICT.

            2. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

              My wife doesn't do any of the hunting, fishing, and jumping stuff, but she hates identity politics, she's drop-dead gorgeous, and I've never once heard her complain about me going out with the guys or doing guy stuff.

              I lucked out.

            3. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

              Yeah, but they get right pissy if you pretend you don't also know their imaginary friend.

          3. Entropy Void   12 years ago

            Please do continue to use as many firearm/phallic metaphors as possible when referring to sexing up this mindless bitch.

      2. Some call me Tim?   12 years ago

        +1 internets, if true.

      3. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

        That is awesome, if true.

      4. Tim   12 years ago

        Mom really did demand action, didn't she?

      5. deified   12 years ago

        We citizens of Ye Olde Internet want to know if this happened. We demand satisfaction!

      6. Dr. Frankenstein   12 years ago

        pics or it didn't happen

      7. Entropy Void   12 years ago

        Please do use as many gun/phallic metaphors as possible when referring to sexing up this mindless bitch.

    7. bostonaod   12 years ago

      Ms. Watts was not an activist or involved in gun issues prior to the shootings at Sandy Hook on Dec. 14, 2012. The day after the tragedy, she started a Facebook page called Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America. Since then, Moms Demand Action has become a nonprofit organization with tens of thousands of members and more than 80 local chapters across the country.

      hmm, I guess they were somehow able to sail through the IRS with no delay, imagine that

      1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

        +501(c)(3)

    8. Agammamon   12 years ago

      The Muscular Distrophy Association is going to be all over them - charities don't like anyone stepping on their trademarks.

  8. Caleb Turberville   12 years ago

    So, why not just lower the legal blood alcohol limit to .00 if a reduction in alcohol-related traffic deaths is the end-all-be-all of safe transportation policy with regards to alcohol consumption?

    1. Mad Scientist   12 years ago

      There's more revenue to be had by making it just a little legal, but putting the limit low enough that no one can reasonably tell if they're over it without a blood test.

      1. Agammamon   12 years ago

        Mad Scientist|5.14.13 @ 4:39PM|#

        "There's more revenue to be had by making it just a little legal, but putting the limit low enough that no one can reasonably tell if they're over it without a blood test."

        So basically where it is right now?

    2. Rich   12 years ago

      Since fewer than half of traffic deaths are alcohol related, require everyone on the roads to be legally drunk.

      1. Joe M   12 years ago

        You know, it's always the drunk at fault who survives the crash, cause they're body is all floppy from the booze and doesn't break.

        1. Joe M   12 years ago

          Oh my god kill me now. I had to talk smack about who/whom earlier. I think it's because I originally wrote "cause they're all floppy" and changed it without fixing the homonym.

      2. Emmerson Biggins   12 years ago

        true, if they lower the limit to 0, by the current methodology all accidents would be "alcohol-related". Nice catch.

      3. Fool   12 years ago

        And then, when this is legally unenforceable, you can use it as an excuse to build more trains!

    3. generic Brand   12 years ago

      Japan has a .00 BAC tolerance, and it has made everything as socialist as you can imagine.

  9. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    The usual unnamed DOJ official says the phone records were actually nabbed by Deputy Attorney General James Cole.

    Ladies and gentlemen, we have our scapegoat.

    1. Tim   12 years ago

      Scrap goat.

    2. Hugh Akston   12 years ago

      We will investigate Mr. Cole's actions thoroughly.

    3. Bardas Phocas   12 years ago

      Mr Cole. The BUS awaits.
      The front wheels will hurt a lot but you'll hardly feel the back ones.

    4. Jerry on the boat   12 years ago

      He can't be that stupid?! Well, at least stupid enough to have Holder as his boss.

      1. Rich   12 years ago

        Quick, Cole! Recuse yourself!

    5. Brett L   12 years ago

      Were I Mr. Cole, I would make it clear to all my colleagues that I intend to name names loudly and publicly if I have to leave my job.

      1. sulphurbottom   12 years ago

        That's when they crank up the child-molester insinuation machine.

      2. Bobarian   12 years ago

        That's when you end up like Joe Pesci in 'Casino'.

  10. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    The IRS leadership itself denied any such knowledge, even though it definitely knew all.

    The choice between being seen for its incompetent or being seen for its corruption has been made.

  11. Dweebston   12 years ago

    Besides the goofy BAC reduction, for once, the PM links isn't a masochistic exercise in gag-reflex suppression.

    1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      GET WARTY OVER HERE ASAP!

  12. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    I sure hope the Dodger Stadium ground crew manages to fix that Bryce Harper-shaped hole in the right field wall.

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      Jesus, dude. He's too dumb to know what the warning track is for. He's going to be fucking Crash Davis, setting the minor league record for HRs because he's on rehab stints so much.

    2. Sidd Finch   12 years ago

      #NATITUDE

    3. Raston Bot   12 years ago

      My friend did that in high school but it was a chain link fence. His face was cut all to shit.

  13. Max Power   12 years ago


    Shootings by Philly police are up even though crime is down

    Don't read the comments.

    1. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

      Seeing as the link is SF'd we won't.

      1. Caleb Turberville   12 years ago

        http://www.philly.com/philly/n.....falls.html

        See if this works.

        1. Max Power   12 years ago

          Thanks

    2. Caleb Turberville   12 years ago

      "Don't read the comments."

      Why? [reads comments] My god.

      1. Max Power   12 years ago

        Usually the Philly.com comments are comedy gold, but those were pretty disturbing.

    3. Tim   12 years ago

      Doesn't this prove that the right people are getting shot?

    4. Dweebston   12 years ago

      Does someone airily suggest that crime is down because shootings are up?

      1. Dweebston   12 years ago

        Beaten to it.

    5. Ted S.   12 years ago

      Crime is only down because police shootings aren't classified as crime.

  14. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    Behold, the Twitter hate-speech map, which pinpoints Tweets deemed hate speech.

    There are apparently zero racists with Twitter accounts in the entire Western United States.

    1. NeonCat   12 years ago

      How long until SPLC brings us a report on how racists won't use Twitter to avoid being monitored?

      1. Bobarian   12 years ago

        That isn't the only reason I don't tweet.

    2. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

      You need electricity to tweet.

    3. Tim   12 years ago

      For a moment I read it as "Twister Hate Speech Map"

      1. Brandon   12 years ago

        Man, fuck twisters. Bunch a lazy, destructive piles of shit.

    4. Brett L   12 years ago

      And none in Houston, which is weird. Because I have several acquaintences... wait, they may not be smart enough to work the Twitter.

    5. PapayaSF   12 years ago

      So the word "queer" is now considered "homophobic"? That'll be a surprise to many in San Francisco. And "cripple" counts as hate speech? Man, it's hard to keep up.

      1. A Serious Man   12 years ago

        I also wonder if a rapper Tweeting "wat up my niggas" would also trigger an alert.

      2. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

        The article I read on it said they were filtering based on context. How rigorous that context filtering might be is anybody's guess.

      3. Entropy Void   12 years ago

        ... and NOBODY on the West Coast evah says chink or gook ... I call bullshit on the methodology.

    6. Gene   12 years ago

      I explored the map and the list of trigger words. What would happen if the added retard to the list? Funny that the didn't as the only word listed under disabled was cripple. Fucking Retards.

    7. Suthenboy   12 years ago

      It looks like the hate speech is coming mostly from the places where people live.

  15. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

    Worthless, emotionally retarded nerd sucks at sports, thinks all team PE activities should be banned:

    As a kid, I wanted desperately to be good at sports. This was not because I enjoyed playing them. I did not. It was because I'd learned that physical education classes were key to my social survival. I knew my failure to make a basketball hit the backboard would have ramifications throughout the school year. In anticipation, as each summer waned, I'd do drills in my backyard. I'd practice dribbling balls, swinging rackets, serving volleyballs over a tree branch...

    If I had not been subjected to such effective team-building exercises, maybe as an adult I would not be such a loner

    1. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

      When I was younger, I thought the Al Bundys of the world who constantly reminisced about their high school glory days were pretty pathetic, but it's obvious they're not nearly as stunted or numerous as the sad sacks who want to punish the rest of society for being high school losers.

    2. NeonCat   12 years ago

      If it weren't for Slate, where would worthless, emotionally retarded writers find work?

      1. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

        Salon?

        1. PapayaSF   12 years ago

          Jezebel?

        2. Bobarian   12 years ago

          White House Press Secretary?

    3. db   12 years ago

      Shit, I hated team sports in gym class too but I sucked it up and did it anyway. This kid actually practiced shit in advance? That makes me laugh scornfully. Holy shit, he was that dependent on other people's approval that he spent days practicing stuff he hated to do just so they would laugh at him less? Just fucking accept that you don't like it, will suck at it, and have to do it anyway.

      Hell, I never liked sports at all until I started skiing. Some people just don't care to participate in team sports. I don't but I do pretty well at ones where I compete against myself.

      1. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

        That's what makes the article a piece of self-aggrandizing nonsense--plenty of people sucked at sports as kids, myself included, but had enough fortitude to realize that it wasn't the end of the world. I was picked on plenty in school, but I'm not going to take that out on the rest of society in some pointless attempt to soothe my ego.

        Articles like this underscore the fact that nerds think real life is just like the movies, and that those VAPID JOCKS UGH should always get their comeuppance in the end.

      2. Brandon   12 years ago

        It's a chick.

    4. Live Free or Diet   12 years ago

      The fact I didn't play much sports in school didn't hurt my popularity.

      ...but in gym class I proved I could pin the guy who the next year became the captain of the wrestling team. Not my smartest move. Especially after I took him up on the challenge that I couldn't do it again, and did. He claimed I cheated. (I did several ways both times, but the wrestling coach couldn't see it.)

      1. db   12 years ago

        Dude, if the Captain of the wrestling team lets you pin him and you're not a wrestler, he *wants* you to pin him. Just sayin'.

        1. Raston Bot   12 years ago

          Two possible explanations:

          1. massive weight disparity
          2. he had a crush on you - that would explain any butt drags or oil checks

      2. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

        He claimed I cheated. (I did several ways both times, but the wrestling coach couldn't see it.)

        Did your friend hit him with a tennis racket while you were distracting the coach?

        1. Bobarian   12 years ago

          A folding chair.

      3. #HOLO YOLO   12 years ago

        The fact I didn't play much sports in school didn't hurt my popularity.

        Is this a generational thing? I don't know when LFoD or the Slatekin grew up, but when I was (quite recently) in school I never received any flack for generally disliking sports, and for girls it was, if anything, a bad thing to like and/or be good at sports.

        1. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

          for girls it was, if anything, a bad thing to like and/or be good at sports

          Unless they were fast runners, because they typically had the best legs and asses.

      4. Suthenboy   12 years ago

        "He claimed I cheated. (I did several ways both times, but the wrestling coach couldn't see it.)"

        Wrestling is a formalized form of combat. Combat is about winning. There is no such thing as cheating in a fight. Either you are the loser, or the one who gets to walk away.

        1. Agammamon   12 years ago

          Its "formalized" because it has a set of rules. Its recognizable as wrestling because the competitors hold to those rules.

          Otherwise bringing a gun to the match would be a competitive move.

    5. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

      My PE class would be calisthenics. Nothing but calisthenics. By God, those little fatties would sweat. AND, I wouldn't have to put too much thought into my classes.

      1. Live Free or Diet   12 years ago

        While exercise does stimulate mitochondria replacement and other good effects, there has never been a decent study showing it's very effective for weight loss.

        1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

          Meh.

        2. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

          Fuck that. Being active is the key to health. I'm coming out with my hunter-gatherer diet plan, where you must hunt, kill, and eat only wild animals. No cooking, either. Cooking weakens the immune system.

          1. Suthenboy   12 years ago

            Is there any gamboling involved?

          2. #HOLO YOLO   12 years ago

            Cooking weakens the immune system.

            And not to mention the wonders parasites do for the wasteline

            1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

              That's right. MAN UP.

          3. Agammamon   12 years ago

            Wait, what does that do for your python restaurant idea?

        3. Agammamon   12 years ago

          Short duration, high intesity exercise (like most organized sports) is of limited use for weight loss, but long duration, medium intesity exercise does wonders for fat reduction.

          Get the fatties to do jumping jacks for an hour. Or better , get them on the track and follow behind with leashed mad dogs moving at a brisk walking pace.

          The first one that falls behind will motivate the others to keep moving.

      2. Bobarian   12 years ago

        Fist's PE class would also consist of a lot of disgusting behavior by the instructor, which would put the little darlings off their chow.

        So it would be multi-faceted with some dieting and/or vomiting involved

    6. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

      So ban it, instead of letting individuals choose schools based on what they value.

  16. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    The influential Institute of Medicine says there no scientific basis for urging people to cut their salt intake in half.

    How can they say that? Look what too much sodium does to a person!

    1. Live Free or Diet   12 years ago

      The salt vampire!

      I wonder if the NY salt nannies will back off now?

      1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

        It's not Bloomie! If he was Bloomberg, could he take this? WHACK!

    2. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

      What's up with Nimoy beating the shit out of that actress? Was that legal back then or something?

      1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

        Canadians. What are you gonna do?

        1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

          Nimoy is American, dude.

  17. PapayaSF   12 years ago

    I've long thought Obamacare was a slow-motion train wreck, but I hadn't figured on the IRS scandal making it even worse. Not that the IRS has a great reputation, but now the average voter knows that the IRS acts in political ways, and is going to be massively involved in health care. That combination does not inspire confidence. I'd love to see a detailed investigation into which 501(c) groups got targeted for extra scrutiny and which did not.

    And now it turns out that Conservative groups seeking information from the Environmental Protection Agency have been routinely hindered by fees normally waived for media and watchdog groups, while fees for more than 90 percent of requests from green groups were waived..

  18. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    Julian Bond, former NAACP head who was investigated by IRS during Bush years, is just fine and dandy with the IRS harassing the Tea Party, the 'Taliban wing of American politics'.

    1. Caleb Turberville   12 years ago

      "Julian Bond" sounded familiar. Google image search confirmed my suspicions. He co-starred with Morris Dees in that ridiculous History Channel documentary on the Klan back a few years ago.

    2. Caleb Turberville   12 years ago

      Wait, should I read the comments?

    3. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

      Geez, the comments--you could fill the tomb of a Chinese emperor with army of strawmen those 'tards erect.

    4. Caleb Turberville   12 years ago

      I love how Bond conflates the Tea Party's goal of trying to "harm" Obama, politically speaking, with his paranoid delusion that they are trying to "harm" physically.

      Seriously, that alone should be enough to discredit Julian Bond forever, and ever, amen.

    5. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

      East German victims of fascism fill ranks of Stasi with ex-Gestapo and SS officers.

      Discuss...

      1. A Serious Man   12 years ago

        You gotta go with the experts. The Stasi was the most efficient and oppresive intelligence agency that ever existed.

  19. Brett L   12 years ago

    Bacon dogs, bitches. For those of us too lazy to wrap our own hot dogs in bacon.

    1. db   12 years ago

      Wow, when I first saw this I thought it was a link to a genetically engineered canine that can be cooked to produce bacony goodness. Wait till they invent the spiral-cut ham kitty.

      1. Bobarian   12 years ago

        spiral-cut ham kitty.

        Hmmmm, pork flavored pussy!

    2. Live Free or Diet   12 years ago

      Bacon dogs,

      Love both, but together?

      1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

        Two great tastes that taste great together?

      2. Agammamon   12 years ago

        They are pretty awesome - I've got a stand nearby my home where I get them every so often. Mexican style of course, which means guacamole and salsa and chorizo are options.

    3. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

      Meh, regular hotdogs with bits of bacon doesn't really impress me. I was expecting hot dogs made entirely of ground up bacon.

      1. Generic Stranger   12 years ago

        I now want to buy a food processor just to try that...

      2. Agammamon   12 years ago

        They'll be as bad as their "cheese" dogs where they injected some godawful imitation american (which is already imitatin cheese) cheese.

        They're like having a hotdog filled with Cheez-Wiz.

  20. Rainbow   12 years ago

    Who will the US exploit this alleged oil to?

    Are these bureaucrats actually claiming that the US will have enough oil to not only satisfy all domestic consumption, and with enough leftover to export?

    Bullshit

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      Note, it might be cheaper to export all of our oil and buy refined oil. I know Exxon drills the sweetest crude it can find to sell and buys the heaviest (cheapest) shit it can find to refine. Selling a shitton of crude might be a better option than refining all of our own petroleum products. Economics is fucking awesome.

      1. Rainbow   12 years ago

        So, who exactly is the US-derived garbage oil going to be sold to?

        And do you REALLY believe that it is going to be exploited in such amazing quantities that domestic oil production rises 400% or more? Would you like to buy a bridge in Tacoma?

        1. Mad Scientist   12 years ago

          Sir, I am a Nigerian prince and I would like to buy your bridge. Especially if it has a catchy name like, say, Galloping Gertie.

        2. Brett L   12 years ago

          Were the Feds to grant just the permit requests filed that are over 2 years old, production would easily quadruple in 2 years.

          1. Rainbow   12 years ago

            That's quite the "if" (or, "were", as it were in this case) statement you have there, omg.

        3. Xenocles   12 years ago

          Of course I would. The toll booths are already in place, even.

    2. Bardas Phocas   12 years ago

      Actually we'll just get bigger cars. I mean really big fucking SUVs. Hummerx6 monsters.

      1. Bobarian   12 years ago

        SUX 6000

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl8mQhxhE_Q

      2. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

        Whoa, Canyonero, whoa!

        1. Sy   12 years ago

          Canyonerroo!!

  21. Brett L   12 years ago

    Oh look, Florida shortened yellow light times for NO REASON. And yet red light camera income jumped. How mysterious.

    1. OldMexican   12 years ago

      "We're open for business!"

    2. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

      For no reason? You just answered your first sentence with your second sentence. CONNECT THE DOTS.

      1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

        Unintended consequences.

        1. Bobarian   12 years ago

          This has happened in other places as well and results in an increase in rear end collisions at these intersections.

          Forseeable is not unintended (but I do understand that you were using sarcasm)

      2. Brett L   12 years ago

        No, I mean, the FDOT promises that they have no interest in making rules that raise red light cam revenue. It just "happened" that they struck three key words from a rule that allowed cities to set unsafe yellow light times.

        When the Florida legislature approved 2010's Mark Wandell Act, regulating red light cameras across the state, FDOT had a long-standing rule that mandated yellow light calculations factor in either the posted speed limit or 85th percentile of drivers' actual speed -- whichever was greater. The point of the law was to calculate safe stopping times for the majority of drivers on any given roadway.

        But in 2011, FDOT struck the "whichever is greater" language from its Traffic Engineering Manual (TEM), reducing minimum yellow light lengths and allowing communities to re-time their signals at RLC intersections.

        So FDOT intentionally made rules allowing for dangerously short yellow lights.

        1. Joe M   12 years ago

          Re-calibrate your humometer.

          1. Brett L   12 years ago

            I know he was being funny, but I was byGod gonna get that quote in there on the 2nd try.

            1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

              I'm funny like I amuse you like I'm a clown???

              1. Generic Stranger   12 years ago

                Yes. Exactly like a clown.

      3. Agammamon   12 years ago

        Heh, DOTS - I see what you did there.

    3. Rich   12 years ago

      They should just eliminate yellow lights.

      You know red comes after green -- why the warning?

      1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

        Because you are supposed to have stopped before it turns red.

        1. Rich   12 years ago

          So, stop; and the cars behind you are required to stop. If the light is still green for a while, so be it. Think of all the lives that will be saved or created.

          1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

            And when it turns green again?

          2. Fool   12 years ago

            Who hasn't created a life while waiting for the light to change?

        2. Joe M   12 years ago

          Re-calibrate your sarcasmeter.

          1. Rich   12 years ago

            That's difficult, without a yellow light.

      2. Joe M   12 years ago

        This is a case where time really is money.

    4. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

      Follow. . .the. . .money.

    5. Ted S.   12 years ago

      And of course it makes intersections LESS safe.

      1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

        Government revenues versus consumer protection. You make the call.

        1. Smilin' Joe Fission   12 years ago

          But the government is not supposed to be about profit!!!

          1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

            Theft is all profit.

    6. Raston Bot   12 years ago

      uh, scroll down on that story to... BIKINI BIKE WASH!

      1. Raston Bot   12 years ago

        disregard, that was kinda sad.

    7. Entropy Void   12 years ago

      OMG local news does good!

      And no squirrel on water-skis!

  22. OldMexican   12 years ago

    The Obama Administration Has a Very Bad Day

    "And we would've gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids!"

    1. NeonCat   12 years ago

      Their fault for raising the age of "kids" to 26?

  23. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

    Are Creepy Dudes Now Using Drone Technology For Their Nefarious Ends?

    Why is it that so many technological innovations are immediately pounced upon by creepy dudes whose only thought is, "How can I use this to abuse and punish women for their continuing insistence that they are full human beings instead of walking sex toys that I should be able to use how I like?"

    I don't know (or care, really) if Amanduh really answers her own question in the article, but she sure does a fine job of answering my question, which is "Are screeching harridans now using internet technology for their nefarious ends?"

    1. Fool   12 years ago

      Luckily for her, even the creepy dudes of the world don't have time for this particular woman.

      1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

        Even creepers have standards.

    2. NeonCat   12 years ago

      Shouldn't she push for sexbots as medical devices for creepy dudes? I mean, she is clearly disgusted and tormented by the idea of creepy dudes thinking sexual thoughts about unobtainable women, shouldn't she encourage a taxpayer funded outlet for their depraved desires?

      1. Fool   12 years ago

        It's oppressive to spend public money on thought criminals when there are plenty of good women out there who could use it. Creepy dudes can utilize their right hands, or their left if they prefer. Of course, they may not sexualize women in their thoughts while doing so.

    3. Brett L   12 years ago

      No, no. It's "research". I saw a story where some creeper said so.

  24. OldMexican   12 years ago

    Don't get too invested in the idea of a future full of windmills and solar panels; the International Energy Agency says the United States has such vast shale oil reserves, that it will soon account for a third of new oil supplies and become a net oil exporter.

    And all those energy doomsayers were instantly impaled with the sharp point of a peak-oil graph.

  25. Sidd Finch   12 years ago

    Cleveland Rocks Sucks!

    As a Cleveland sports fan, I hold these truths to be self-evident: no matter how promising the plan or how high the draft pick, someone will screw it up.

  26. Sevo   12 years ago

    OK, so Obozo agrees the A-1 means what it says, except when he doesn't.

  27. John Galt   12 years ago

    The Obama administration, by the way, has prosecuted more leakers-to-the-press than any previous president.

    Maybe you just don't how to appreciate the most honest and transparent totalitarian regime in the history of the universe.

  28. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

    The comments on RawStory are truly the maw of madness; the end of the internet. Folks, I defy you to read this comment (article here) and tell me what the hell this comment is referring to:

    The pro life movement is the killer of people of color. There are 2 billion people of color in the world that need help. And there are 1.8 born people dying each second. Pro lifers have a choice, they can save one of the 1.8 people dying each second or help one of the 2 billion people of color needing help or they can attemp to save a very small fraction of that number that may be aborted. The fact is Star will assist in the murder of born babie and in the suffering of 2 billion people of color simply for self aggrandizement purposes. She has a choice, her choice is to let born babies die and to let black people suffer.

    1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

      wait, wut?

    2. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      Grade level of only 5.8. Use more big words, dude!

    3. Joe M   12 years ago

      Another gem:

      DontFearTheReaper ? an hour ago ?
      Damn, Uncle toms cabin is looking kinda crowded there. I wonder how much each of these assholes got from the kochroaches?

      1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

        Beautiful in its brevity.

    4. Bardas Phocas   12 years ago

      I was told there would be no math.

      1. Irish   12 years ago

        I was told there would be no math.

        Yeah, aren't there like 5 billion people of color? Or do Asians not count in left-wing grievance mongering anymore?

        1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

          Or do Asians not count in left-wing grievance mongering anymore?

          I think they leapfrogged Mexicans in attaining "whiteness" back in the '90s.

          1. #HOLO YOLO   12 years ago

            They do when convenient.

            Like when that Asian chick at UC Berkeley wondered aloud whether people were reacting so negatively to her column about porking in the library in part because she was a "woman of color".

            1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

              Rule of thumb:

              When you are stupid or do something stupid and you're looking for someone else to pick up the slack, you're an Oppressed Person Of Color.

              When you are successful or are not looking for a handout, you're potentially an Uncle Tom.

              Hope that helps.

            2. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

              I hope someone went Jerry Springer on her.

        2. Suthenboy   12 years ago

          White is not a color?

          1. Heroic Mulatto   12 years ago

            White is all colors together. Black is the absence of color.

            I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD!

            1. Zakalwe   12 years ago

              Black is the absorption of every color. Thieves and hoarders, every one!

            2. VG Zaytsev   12 years ago

              White is all colors together. Black is the absence of color.

              Depends on whether you're talking about subtractive color or additive color.

              1. Numeromancer   12 years ago

                Hey! We said no math.

  29. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    South Carolina couple sues hospital and child services department after 20 month old baby they adopted was given sexual reassignment surgery.

    The Crawfords, who adopted a child identified as M.C. in the lawsuits, say while the toddler was in the care of the S.C. Department of Social Services, doctors and department officials decided the child should undergo sex assignment surgery to "make M.C. a girl" after doctors determined the child had an intersex condition.

    Think of this as kind of like a circumcision thread.

    1. Sidd Finch   12 years ago

      a condition that years ago would have been called "hermaphroditism,"

      Am I the only one who didn't know "hermaphrodite" is now a dirty word?

      1. NeonCat   12 years ago

        I blame a terrible porno named "Party Partners".

        1. Loki   12 years ago

          Dante Hicks: Hey, whatcha rent?

          [reads the cover to Randal's videotape]

          Dante Hicks: "Best of Both Worlds"?

          Randal Graves: Hermaphroditic porn. Starlets with both organs. You should see the box. Beautiful chicks with dicks that put mine to shame.

          Dante Hicks: And you rented this?

          Randal Graves: Hey, I like to expand my horizons.

    2. Rainbow   12 years ago

      So they de-othered it. Is it not justice?

    3. Apatheist ?_??   12 years ago

      Is there a reason for doing the surgery earlier in life? I can't imagine it is a black or white decision either way.

      1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

        I've seen a few articles of kids who were born with ambiguous genitalia and then surgically assigned (usually female) a sex. They quite often don't end up identifying with that way, and only find out after the fact that they were born somewhere in between.

        Parents may opt for it for various reasons, but it seems dickish for social services to do it without consulting with the adoptive parents.

        1. Brandon   12 years ago

          They only paid for one gender!

        2. Apatheist ?_??   12 years ago

          SLD: It is unclear in the article whether they had already adopted the child yet or not. If this is a standard medical procedure, I'm not sure what the state (then the "parents") should have done differently. I imagine the identity issues would be common either way and I can't imagine having both sets of hormones pumping into your body in your teens would easy either.

          My brief googling seems to say that surgery to female genitalia at a very young age is the common step taken. Maybe this is supposed to be better, maybe it is for social rather than medical reasons. I have no idea.

          1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

            IIRC, surgery to female is default because it's easier to accomplish, it doesn't line up with genetic or hormonal sex. Ambiguous genitalia could be caused by a variety of things including an overdeveloped clitoris, or under developed penis. If you've got a child who is wired male and born with an underdeveloped penis, that could be very problematic when he grows up. I also recall there being problems with trimming the clitoris being linked with impairment of achieving climax in adult women. The medical establishment can't seem to decide on a best practice in this context, and has continued to default to snipping and tucking to standard female genitalia, but there is some movement away from it.

  30. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    low salt? *snicker*

    luvz me some bacon. and what's the best way to get flavor out of meat? salt.

  31. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    Multiple child endangerment charges filed against New Jersey man who's five year old kid shot and killed another kid.

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      Well, it sure ain't the 5 year old's job to secure that weapon and see to it he's properly trained in the handling of it. I actually think this is an appropriate charge.

  32. OldMexican   12 years ago

    In an entertainingly tense press conference, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney repeatedly claimed that President Obama supports an "unfettered" freedom of the press that must be "balanced" by national security concerns.

    Ah, those wacky liberals and their lack of concern for the meaning of words.

  33. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    43 things that will make you feel old.

    1. NeonCat   12 years ago

      It makes me feel old that a lot of things they reference were too young for me to watch in the first place.

    2. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      What the hell happened to Trix and Hi-C?

      1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

        I think Trix were just ball shaped when I would've been eating them.

    3. A Serious Man   12 years ago

      How about the fact that the Lord of the Rings trilogy is 10 years old?

      1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

        It's more like 60.

      2. dinkster   12 years ago

        Face meet keyboard.

    4. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

      ...

      But, I still use a Motorola Razr...

    5. Generic Stranger   12 years ago

      I actually do have .mp3 files that are 15 years old....

      Damn.

  34. sulphurbottom   12 years ago

    I can't be the only person wondering whether this scandal-palooza is actually part of some nefarious plan by Obama-Beelzebub that will wind up giving the Dems him control of both houses.

    1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

      details!

    2. PapayaSF   12 years ago

      If they were so ultra-competent, they wouldn't be in the various messes they are in. Besides, how could letting Americans die in a terror attack, covering it up clumsily, snooping on lots of reporters, and using the IRS for political purposes all be turned, by some double-reverse Judo, into something positive for Democrats?

      1. sulphurbottom   12 years ago

        I don't know. It's just that, lately, the way most Americans react to these things seems to be the opposite of how I react to these things.

        1. NeonCat   12 years ago

          "Obama's enemies must be really terrible if they force him to adopt such measures!"

      2. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

        I've seen little sign of competence. Heck, Obama's luckier than shit to have even won a Senate seat, let alone the White House.

        1. PapayaSF   12 years ago

          Note that he did that by digging into his opponent's "sealed" divorce records, so he has a history of the sort of thing the IRS has been caught doing. What a coincidence, eh?

          1. Irish   12 years ago

            SHHHH! Tony says that bringing up the fact that Obama had multiple opponents ruined as a result of his adviser's employer opening their divorce records proves nothing.

            If you say otherwise, you're just one of those Beckian conspiracy theorists.

          2. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

            It all comes down to Jeri Ryan.

  35. #HOLO YOLO   12 years ago

    Meta-whine:

    I'm sick of all the cool kids on Hacker News whining about how they have such a sad whenever they have to see all the poors on their way to and from their jobs in the Valley, and oh won't some Top Men please do *something* about it, because they went to one of the wealthiest cities in Europe one time during Christmas and they didn't see any of the icky poors near their swank hotel or the designated tourist restaurants and shops.

    1. Irish   12 years ago

      There's nothing liberals hate more than seeing poor people. Poor people should be trotted out during food drives and thought of during elections in order to hurt Republicans, but they look dirty and don't brush their teeth enough and sometimes they come up and talk to you.

      1. NeonCat   12 years ago

        Ideally we'd have "Potemkin Poor", people who look shabby and act downtrodden but won't actually beg for money or smell bad.

        1. #HOLO YOLO   12 years ago

          For a second I was thinking "yeah, you mean hipsters?" but then I remembered that they do smell bad and beg for money.

  36. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

    Hey everybody, the Ron Paul Institute for Peace and Prosperity has its first Llew-written article:

    We must encourage all efforts to humanize the populations of countries in the crosshairs of the warmakers. The general public is whipped into a war frenzy without knowing the first thing ? or hearing only propaganda ? about the people who will die in that war. The establishment's media won't tell their story, so it is up to us to use all the resources we as individuals have, especially online, to communicate the most subversive truth of all: that the people on the other side are human beings, too.

    Thanks, Llew. We would have never figured out that the people living in belligerent countries are human beings without your help.

    1. Irish   12 years ago

      Whatever, Cosmotarian. You just don't understand the true genius of paleo-libertarians like Lew Rockwell.

  37. Max Power   12 years ago

    Austerity LITERALLY will kill you.

    Or I guess technically you'll kill yourself. Because of austerity.

    1. Sevo   12 years ago

      From the link:
      "People looking for work are about twice as likely to end their lives as those who have jobs."

      The correlation may not be what the writer thinks it is.

      1. Dweebston   12 years ago

        I have a job that regularly inspires suicidal thoughts. More of a pact than a desire to opt out ("if I'm here in two years, so help me God"), but nonetheless. Where can I lay hands on some of this austerity-driven joblessness?

  38. Loki   12 years ago

    White House Press Secretary Jay Carney repeatedly claimed that President Obama supports an "unfettered" freedom of the press...

    Just like he believes in an unfettered right to bear arms or an unfettered right to free speech, especially speech that insults the prophet of Islam, right?

    Seriously though, I'm thinking that they may have really screwed the pooch this time. They had probably the most apologetic and outright sycophantic media that any president has ever had, and what do they do? They get caught snooping through the AP's phone records.

    I'm sure this won't have any repercussions at all. I'm sure the media will just continue giving the Obama administration a free pass on everything, just like they always have. *sarcastic slow clap* Bravo, DoJ. Bra-fucking-o.

  39. #HOLO YOLO   12 years ago

    Sex is like...

    1. Loki   12 years ago

      That would make more sense if it said "Oral sex is like..."

  40. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

    German homeschooling family loses its quest for asylum - 6th Circuit federal court says administrative denial "not manifestly contrary to federal law." The compulsory attendance law doesn't single out homeschoolers - it applies to everyone (more or less) and simply *happens* to ban homeschooling.

    The homeschoolers claim that the *1938* law was motivated by discrimination (no!), but the court replies, "If, as the Romeikes claim, the law emerged from the Nazi era, that would understandably make anyone, including the Romeikes, skeptical of the policy underlying it. But such a history would not by itself doom the law. The claimants still must show that enforcement of the law amounts to persecution under the immigration laws. Theyhave not done so."

    http://www.ca6.uscourts.gov/op.....37p-06.pdf

    Their lawyers at the Homeschool Legal Defense Foundation say they'll appeal, presumably to the full 6th Circuit (or Supreme Court):

    http://www.hslda.org/docs/media/2013/201305140.asp

    1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

      That's goddamned retarded. The original law was passed as part of the Prussian Kulturkampf, for crying out loud.

    2. Agammamon   12 years ago

      So wait, the court is saying that you can't get asylum is you flee a country with oppressive laws, as long as the law oppresses *everyone* in that country equally?

      So we'd turn North Koreans away because they aren't part of a persecuted minority in their home country?

  41. Caleb Turberville   12 years ago

    Chris Matthews is finishing up this evening's show by giving the Obama administration two bits of advice about how to "contain" the current controversies in order to maximize its political survival...I hate to ask, but what business does MSNBC's longest-running personality have giving the Obama administration "helpful advice" on how to best handle political fallout?

    1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

      That's all he's ever been--a political whore.

      Of course, consumers of news and even political opinion should demand something better of people like Matthews, but since the idea of expecting ethics from the press or politicians is nearly dead, this is what we get.

      1. Sidd Finch   12 years ago

        IIRC his show got promoted to MSNBC when he was going apeshit over Clinton's BJ. Those were simpler times.

        1. Caleb Turberville   12 years ago

          This, for a show that's called Hardball?

          1. Sidd Finch   12 years ago

            Before Obama, his shtick was just to scream all the time, for no apparent reason, and to be way too enthusiastic about politics. Now it seems his schtick is to scream at/about/in the general direction of Republicans because he's really emotionally invested in Obama's success.

            1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

              His background is pure blue, as a staffer and speechwriter for various Democrats. Ridiculous that he's treated as anything other than a shill.

  42. Caleb Turberville   12 years ago

    ...And now Al Sharpton is accusing the GOP of "recklessly attacking Attorney General Holder before all the facts are in."

    1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

      From where I'm sitting, the GOP isn't attacking enough. It should grab every fucking possible scandal like a dog grabbing a bone.

    2. Caleb Turberville   12 years ago

      ...and stating that there's a "right-wing obsession with Attorney General Holder."

    3. Caleb Turberville   12 years ago

      ...and deflecting the current scandals of the Obama administration by referring back to the equally terrible scandals of the Bush administration.

      Yeah, like the Bush scandals weren't getting a lot of attention back in the day.

  43. Marc F Cheney   12 years ago

    You know how an awful sequel (or prequel) to a movie can retroactively ruin the original? (Star Wars) Or how a series of horrible albums can make it impossible to listen to a band's earlier work? (Dream Theater) Or how an awful movie by a famed director can stink up their entire body of work by proxy? (I'm looking at you, Scorcese--I will never forget how Shutter Island made me feel.)

    Obama's second term is like that. And smart minds expected that. AND THAT'S WHY IT WAS STUPID TO VOTE FOR ROMNEY.

    1. Irish   12 years ago

      You know how an awful sequel (or prequel) to a movie can retroactively ruin the original? (Star Wars) Or how a series of horrible albums can make it impossible to listen to a band's earlier work? (Dream Theater) Or how an awful movie by a famed director can stink up their entire body of work by proxy?

      The Star Wars prequels in no way ruined the original, and you'll pry Images and Words from my cold, dead hands.

      Other than that, you make a valid point.

      1. Caleb Turberville   12 years ago

        No, the Special Editions ruined the original trilogy.

        1. Smilin' Joe Fission   12 years ago

          They did. And you can't even buy the original versions unless you find a used VHS copy.

          The 3d just made the movies more cartoony.

          1. Caleb Turberville   12 years ago

            Actually, you might be able to find DVDs of the original versions as part of the bonus features released with the stand-alone discs of the original films, released in 2006.

            But these were full screen and non-remastered versions of the original trilogy.

            Seriously, it was like Lucas relented on never releasing the original trilogy, but he couldn't let it slide without some kind of "Screw you!" to fans.

            1. Xenocles   12 years ago

              Search for the despecialized editions on Pirate Bay. Guy named Harmy took the HD special editions and removed the clutter by hand. Also Han shoots first. I was able to use them to introduce my kids to Star Wars.

              1. Caleb Turberville   12 years ago

                The non-special edition original trilogy would look absolutely gorgeous if you could see it in HD.

                1. Xenocles   12 years ago

                  Give it a shot
                  http://thepiratebay.sx/search/despecialized edition/0/99/0

                  1. Xenocles   12 years ago

                    Actual link

            2. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

              I heard a story about his settlement with his ex-wife excluding derivative works. So no originals, just derivatives. Could be nonsense, but that's what I heard.

              1. db   12 years ago

                So she gets a cut on sales of originals but not derivative works? How much change has to be made before it becomes "derivative?" I'm guessing it's not enough to just do one thing like replace the planet destruction effects and leave everything else.

      2. Agammamon   12 years ago

        Also, the OP's premise here assumes that Obama had a *good* term in the first place.

    2. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

      Obie's second term is more like Attack of the Clones: we had no reason to expect it to be any *good*, but the deluge of awfulness has nonetheless exceeded all of our expectations.

    3. Sidd Finch   12 years ago

      Other than the Dream Theater nonsense, you make a compelling point.

      1. Sidd Finch   12 years ago

        mental note -- read subthreads before commenting

  44. benji   12 years ago

    Got in some arguments over that Detroit bankruptcy warning. Lots of "we need to bail them out, we can bail out Wall Street but not Detroit?", "we have plenty of money to save these middle class workers for the city government of Detroit", "the problem is free trade we need to ban outsourcing and imported goods", "if the city raised taxes then it could fix its fiscal problems", "if people are leaving Detroit reducing revenue then the state of Michigan needs to raise taxes on the rest of the state", "if people are leaving Michigan, then the federal government needs to raise taxes", "austerity never works" and on and on.

    Apparently the corrupt incompetent government in Detroit has nothing to do with it and if you just gave them $14 billion to cover their debt ("a drop in the bucket compared to our total deficit!") then they would be able to create an efficient 21st century government!

    1. benji   12 years ago

      "People shouldn't lose their pensions and jobs, no matter what!"

    2. PapayaSF   12 years ago

      Detroit was held up as a model when black Democrats took over decades ago....

    3. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

      Detroit could build a wall to keep people from escaping to low tax areas. They could name it after the suburb of Sterling Heights.

      Because I'm sure no one would try to escape over the Sterlin' Wall.

      1. benji   12 years ago

        I hope you regret this.

      2. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

        I'm actually hoping that one of the Koch brothers buys up the entire city and turns it into a giant feudal baronial estate. Hell, the wildlife is already there for the weekend hunts.

  45. WomSom   12 years ago

    I think I like what I see thate. That is some cool stuff.

    http://www.Proxy-Anon.tk

  46. #HOLO YOLO   12 years ago

    You need to add a greater variety of Johnny quotes to your repertoire.

  47. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

    I know this one. The Patriarch of the Greek Orthodox Church. What do I win?

  48. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

    No, you fool. Gladstone was thinking of the Byzantine Emperor Andronikos Kommenus.

  49. Brandon   12 years ago

    Who let the Jezebel commenters in?

  50. Heroic Mulatto   12 years ago

    Dude, the question to ask is "Who let the dogs out?"

  51. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

    You mean Andronikos Komnenos?

  52. Zakalwe   12 years ago

    I'm pretty sure the answer is American Catholics.

  53. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

    Is that how Komnenos is spelt?

    *checks*

    Huh -- good man.

    Well, you're just lucky I didn't write Manuel or Alexios, both of whom came to mind as the (incorrect) perps of the Massacre of the Latins.

  54. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

    I say restore the Byzantine Empire. Why not?

  55. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

    I agree. I'd like to see, for once in my life, a eunuch at the head of an army or in charge of affairs of state. They've been denied their place in the sun for too long.

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