Nanny State

Twerking Girls Run Afoul of School Officials: Your Plot for Footloose II

Scripps Ranch High School is not ready for this jelly


Well, I never! (No really. I'd look so stupid if I did)
Credit: thatguygil / / CC BY-NC-ND

So there's a dance that ladies do in rap and hip-hop videos that everybody on planet earth knows. It's about backs and about how some babies have them. It's about the booty, and how some may wish to see it be popped. It's been around for a good 20 years now and the name of it – "twerking" – has inexplicably suddenly become very popular. In fact, most folks probably didn't even know the move had a name until recently.

So a bunch of high school kids in San Diego posted a video online featuring students "twerking" away on campus. They also shot the video with school equipment during school hours, which is no doubt inappropriate. But is it this inappropriate? Via ABC 10 News in San Diego:

A video posted online has landed students at Scripps Ranch High School banned from going to prom, walking at graduation or participating in end-of-the-year sporting events.  

The video, which shows the teens "twerking," was shot during school, on the property and with school equipment. …

When teachers saw the video on YouTube, they suspended all 33 students involved, including three stars on the undefeated track team.

"One of our best hurdlers, one of our best sprinters, and one of our best high jumpers are not allowed to run at our most important meet tomorrow because they're suspended for this video," said student Emily Benzie.

The irony of being banned from prom! A prime opportunity to twerk! It also may result in the undefeated track team having its streak ruined. Assuming the stupid bans stick, I encourage fellow students to show solidarity by twerking their way across the stage to pick up their diplomas.

Below: Hot, irresistible twerking:


NEXT: States Outlaw Enforcement of Federal Gun Restrictions

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  1. This doesn’t look like PM links

    1. Not that it’s a super-bad substitute.

      1. If you squint it kind of does look like PM links.

    2. Seriously. I guess I’ll just drop this bomb here:

      Mike Riggs little brother plays the banjo.…..7GXHIynFp8

  2. Alright Shackford, what did you do with 2Chilly?

  3. No one tell HM. His heart couldn’t take it.

    1. He actually posted this at the (relative) end of the AM links… no surprise that there’s no hat tip to the ONLY GUY WHO REFERENCES TWERKING, though.


    1. They moved them to 5pm EST.

      1. And yet here I sit, linkless and despondent. DAMN YOU, 2CHILLY

      2. WRONG AGAIN

        1. At times like these, I worry for Fist of Etiquette.

  5. The irony of being banned from prom! A prime opportunity to twerk!

    Yeah, twerking and drinking were literally the only two things that happened at my prom.

    1. That’s a pretty tame prom. I expected more out of you, nicole.

      1. Well there was also the bathroom baby delivery. I imagine the twerking really helped with the contractions.

        1. We’re talking about nicole’s prom, not yours, Hugh. Did you leave it in the garbage or a toilet?

          1. I’m not going to clog a public toilet with a newborn, Epi. What kind of low-class scum do you take me for? I tossed it in the trash.

      2. Note: When Nicole twerks it involves a group of shirtless men standing around her in a circle and firing assault rifles into the air while all around the revelers engage in all manner of abominations unto the Lord.

        It’s pretty sick.

        1. That does sound pretty sick. As in awesome.

          1. I’ve heard it said that your twerking is an integral part of the summoning ceremony for Scargoth the Pit Demon.

            Any truth to that rumor?

            1. Hmm, well I’ve never called it that before…

        2. Hm? Sorry I was picturing Whore Island.

        3. I volunteer to be one of the guys with the guns.

      3. Well that doesn’t cover the afterparty, duh.

        1. Well you should have specified that up front!

          1. It also doesn’t cover the after-afterparty.

            1. After the party there’s the after party, and that’s when I had my epiphany.

  6. Man, the children’s prison guards hate it when the kids do anything that the guards think wasn’t “sanctioned”. Can’t let the inmates get out of line thinking they’re free!

  7. Srsly, we should kick-in for an alternative prom for these kids. That would send a big FU to the school authorities.

    1. How can you have a prom without it being officially sanctioned by the school authorities?!?! Inconceivable!!!

      1. Well in a couple small towns in the South, that happens (or happened until very recently) in order to hold segregated proms. Seriously. In the 21st century

      2. In Galveston – at least when I was in high school – there were a number of secret high school societies, sorta like “junior fraternities/sororities”, and at a particular point in the school year each of them would host their own formal dance. So you had one official school prom and a handful of “alternative proms” going on. And it wasn’t just “are you going to prom”, it was also “are you going to the KAP Formal”, “are you going to the TR formal”, etc.

      3. I forgot to add that these formals were held throughout the year – December, January, February, May – and that they were well-integrated. 🙂

      4. I imagine that the same people who went to prom are the same people who go to reunions at the high school I graduated from. All douchebags, who probably still live in the town. Not going to prom was a surprisingly thorough consensus.

  8. Since y’all aren’t doing anything, who wants to help me write my resume and cover letter? Or at least give me some tips.

    1. What field of work?

      1. Fellowship with the Institute for Justice, a civil liberties law firm.

        1. You’re Aquaman?

        2. Wow good luck bro (sorry, even as a non-surfer, bro-language looms large in Florida)! I would love to work for them.

          Clean and straightforward on the resume, I would recommend. If you’re anything like me, you just need your foot in the door and it’s the interview that matters.

  9. I don’t know, to me this looks like an incentive. I skipped prom with no regrets, and would have given my eye teeth for an excuse to skip graduation that my parents would have accepted.

    1. Is this for similarly stupid reasons that banned certain types of lightbulbs?

      Why does Obama hate science?

  10. No hat-tip for Heroic Mulatto? Shame on you Shackford!

    1. Chill, bro. I’ve got this.

  11. I swear, everytime I see Scott Shackford’s name, I think of Rusty Shackleford from King of the Hill

    1. you know too much!

    2. I’ve thought the exact same thing.

  12. Okay if this is the PM Links substitute thread, here’s some news someone was asking about earlier re: IL and concealed/constitutional carry:

    A concealed carry gun law in Illinois may be delayed as Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan asks the U.S. Supreme Court for more time to work on a possible appeal.

    As of now, Illinois has five weeks to get a concealed carry law on the books.

    If June 9 arrives and there is no legislation, the legal reality is that anyone with a state firearm owner’s card could carry a loaded weapon in public without a permit.

    So Madigan filed a request with the U.S. Supreme Court asking for more time to prepare Illinois’ appeal Monday.

    The Illinois General Assembly has wrestled with an acceptable concealed carry law since a federal appeals court found the state’s ban on concealed weapons unconstitutional.

    Illinois must have a constitutional carry law in place according to the appeals court, but the last legislative proposal failed on April 19.

    Madigan wants an appeal extension to June 24. If granted, that could also put on hold any law allowing public possession of firearms in Illinois.

    So, to be clear: Madigan didn’t want to appeal, but since the legislature couldn’t come up with a law, now she’s going to, but she doesn’t have enough time left, so she’s asking for more. H8 that bitch.

    1. It’s the Madigans’ state Nicole, we just live in it.

      1. I once found out that someone I hated for completely independent reasons was related to them. It was so depressing. Like a vortex of evil.

    2. I’m confused by this. McDonald v. Chicago overturned their law but then the Supreme Court ordered them to have an actual constitutional carry law on the books?

      Please femsplain.

      1. McDonald only covered ownership, i.e., possession inside the home, and only Chicago. After WI passed a carry law recently, IL became the only state with absolutely no provision for carry. You cannot possess a gun anywhere outside your home (including, say, in your garage or your yard), unless you are directly on your way to or from the range (or passing through the state, whatever the federal laws on that are).

        A separate lawsuit, and I don’t know the name offhand, came to the seventh circuit a few months ago, and Richard Posner wrote the opinion saying that having absolutely no carry provision was unconstitutional, so the legislature had 180 days to pass some kind of law allowing some kind of carry. If they failed to do so, we would get constitutional carry, i.e., concealed or open carry with no permit at all.

        1. Excellent femsplanation!

          If they failed to do so, we would get constitutional carry, i.e., concealed or open carry with no permit at all.

          This part, very nice. The fact that the AG is trying to weasel out of this, not nice. That’s a very strange loophole that they latched onto, the fact that “keeping and bearing arms” pertains only to being inside one’s home or driving to and from the range.

          1. Yeah, well that was state law, and McDonald was only challenging Chicago law, so it wasn’t addressed at all at that time.

            Basically, we’ve been hoping that the legislators would be too retarded to get out of their own ways and pass any kind of a law, and we’d end up with constitutional carry, and it’s not like we’re totally wrong. She’s just asking for more time now. They can’t agree on this shit at all and I can’t imagine a few extra weeks will do it. But now bitch wants to appeal the decision and I don’t really see SCOTUS overturning it since we’re the only one of 50 states without a carry provision.

        2. On the other hand – wouldn’t not having a loaw on the books be the same as having *no law prohibiting it*?

          I mean we do do english common law right? Not Napoleanic code? We’re not french (yet).

          1. There was a law forbidding it. That law was overturned, but I guess the way it works is “this law will be overturned in 180 days, so that’s how long you have to pass a different one.”

            1. Must be nice to be an IL legislator – let’s pass a law that says everything in the state belogns to us and all the peopl eare our slaves. Sure it’ll get overturned but we’ll have 180 days to get all the money out of the country first.

    3. A concealed carry gun law in Illinois may be delayed as Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan asks the U.S. Supreme Court for more time to work on a possible appeal.

      Joey Naylor: Dad, why is the American government the best government?

      Nick Naylor: Because of our endless appeals system.

      1. +1 Cigarette

    4. I’ve got a ya Madigan.

      My Illinois concealed carry law.

      On foot, any adult person who is not a “prohibited possessor” may openly carry a loaded firearm visible to others in a belt holster, gun case or scabbard. Generally, a person must be at least 18 years of age to possess or openly carry a firearm. However, this does not apply to:
      1.Juveniles within a private residence.
      2.Emancipated juveniles.
      3.Juveniles accompanied by a parent, grandparent or guardian, or a certified hunter safety instructor or certified firearms safety instructor acting with the consent of the juvenile’s parent or guardian.
      4.Juveniles on private property owned or leased by the juvenile or the juvenile’s parent, grandparent, or guardian.
      5.Juveniles fourteen years of age and up engaged in any of the following activities:
      Lawful hunting or shooting events or marksmanship practice at established ranges or other areas where the discharge of a firearm is not prohibited.
      Lawful transportation of an unloaded firearm for lawful hunting.
      Lawful transportation of an unloaded firearm between the hours of 5:00 a.m. and 10:00 p.m. for shooting events or marksmanship practice at established ranges or other areas where the discharge of a firearm is not prohibited.
      Activities that require a firearm related to the production of crops, livestock, poultry, livestock products, poultry products, or ratites or in the production or storage of agricultural commodities


      1. The law does not expressly require openly carried weapons to be in a holster, case or scabbard.

        In a vehicle, any adult person who is not a prohibited possessor may openly carry a loaded firearm in a vehicle whether in a holster, case, compartment, or in plain view.

        Anyone who is not prohibited from owning or carrying a firearm under the precedig sections may carry that fiream concealed without a permit.

        1. Bam1 Like 2 minutes of work coming up with the (mostly) same damn concealed carry law as Arizona.

          1. Statist.

  13. Way till they see Elvis and his pelvis.

  14. Look on the bright side. They weren’t arrested and charged with felonies. Yet.

    We’re a two-income family, so home schooling will never happen, but it looks more and more appealing.

  15. Kids these day with their rainbow parties, vodka tampons, and now twerking! THERE OUTTA BE A LAW!


  16. Links are coming! NOBODY PANIC. You may twerk while you wait.

    1. But what about Heroic Mulatto’s hat tip???? WHAT ABOUT THAT SCOTT!?!?!

      1. I didn’t see the item on the links, sorry! It showed up in my own web trolling.

      2. Also, you guys should have like PM Links tracker like Domino’s does for their pizza.

        Different stages, like:

        “Don’t worry, your PM Links are being prepared with extra special care.”


        “Your PM Links are out for delivery. Hopefully the squirrels don’t get to them first.”

  17. I think the original Footloose had better casting.

  18. what Elaine replied I’m blown away that a student able to earn $5519 in a few weeks on the internet. have you read this web link..

    1. Jerry: That’s just spam, George. It’s what Twitter’s Direct Message is for – spam and penis pics!

      Kramer: Elaine’s got a penis? I gotta go meet Newman!

  19. Girls twerking turns me on as much as girls wearing those hats that are made to look like animal heads: not at all.

    1. What the hell is wrong with you?

  20. Comeon man, lets roll that beautiful bean footage!

  21. Is this the move where you jiggle your buttocks?
    I thought that was popularized by the viral rap video a couple years ago. “Wallly Wally Wally Wally Wally Wally-mart…. “

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