A.M. Links: Japan and Russia Look To End WWII, Tsarnaev Lawyers Working on Deal To Avoid Death Penalty, GOP Donor Group Pushing for Republicans To Support Gay Marriage


Credit: MODIS Rapid Response Project at NASA
  • Japan and Russia are hoping to officially end World War II. The two countries never signed a peace treaty thanks to a dispute over the Kuril Islands.
  • Defense attorneys have begun discussions on a deal that would spare Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev the death penalty in exchange for his cooperation in the investigation. 
  • A group of prominent GOP donors are lobbying to get Republican legislators to support gay marriage. 
  • The Florida Senate has sent Gov. Rick Scott a set of reforms that aim to reduce the amount of time prisoners spend on death row. 
  • Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands has abdicated. Her son, Willem-Alexander, is the first Dutch king in over a century. 

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  1. Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands has abdicated.

    “For no matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us…”

    1. Argentina loses the Falklands but gains the Netherlands.


    2. I can think of ~537 people in Washington DC I’d like to see abdicate.

      1. That few?

    3. being Dutch, I have a new liege!

      1. There are only two things I can’t stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures, and the Dutch!

      2. Liz, take note.

        1. She’s no quitter, unlike her uncle.

        2. Who are you, Prince Charles? I can’t think of anyone else who would have any reason to give a shit.

        3. The day after Chuck’s funeral.

  2. Legislators in California are considering a bill that would limit the disciplinary roles extended to police in school.

    I worry about the chilling effect this will have on law enforcement tossing around citizens half their size.

    1. They’ll only be allowed to grab ’em and shake ’em, not actually toss ’em

    2. Does the bill require *parents* to discipline their children?

    3. Do we really want cops to have to stop and think before they tackle or draw down on school children? All that matters is that our good officers make it home to their families after a harrowing day in a public school.

  3. ‘Comet of the Century’ Could Create New Meteor Shower

    just add some Triffids

    1. You can not help think of going blind when watching a meteor shower after seeing that dang film.

    2. I’d be very happy if The Triffids could come back

      1. I’ve always liked this song

        but hey, I love Aussie music.

        1. the first Triffids song I ever heard *sigh*…

  4. “Japan and Russia are hoping to officially end World War II.”

    At least until the methane wars start

    1. “At least until the methane wars start”

      Bad sushi vs borscht?

  5. An Indian Guinness World Record holder who attempted to cross a river suspended from a zip wire attached to his ponytail has died during the stunt – but not the way you think

    1. India has shockingly high heart disease rates, even adjusted for smoking. Anyone who thinks vegetarian diets lower CHD (or cancer) should see their stats.

      1. Frying your veggies in coconut oil then smothering them in milk and cheese sauces kind of defeats the purpose. And exercise seems to be a dirty word among the middle-class middle-aged.

        I bet peasants on a rice farm live longer.

        1. Frying your veggies in coconut oil then smothering them in milk and cheese sauces kind of defeats the purpose. And exercise seems to be a dirty word among the middle-class middle-aged.

          The old “7 Countries Study” had 22 countries worth of data that Keyes cherry-picked from to condemn fat. Looking at all 22, Linas Pauling first pointed out the data tracks much more reliably for sugar.

    2. He worked as a driver for the police.

      In India, the police have chauffeurs to take them to residences where they can then shoot dogs and taser people. This gives the police maximum time for their pre-beatdown preparations on the ride over.

      1. Jobs saved or created. Besides, wouldn’t you rather deal with a policeman who hasn’t been stressed out by driving?

        1. … wouldn’t you rather deal with a policeman who hasn’t been stressed out by driving?

          Especially driving in India. They can’t drive for shit over there.

    3. A friend, who preferred to remain anonymous, said: “His wife used to urge him to quit doing dangerous stunts. Mr Roy convinced her that crossing the Teesta river would be his last.

        1. Well, yes…technically. Which is the best kind of “correct”.

          1. I’m like, why are my car keys always in the last place I look?

  6. the Kuril Islands

    It’s like Japan is peeing islands right into Russia’s mouth.

    1. You have the soul of a poet

      1. I keep it in a jar. If I shake it real hard I can hear her screaming.

    2. I think you’ve got it backwards. Russia (Kamchatka) is peeing islands into Japan’s “mouth” (Hokkaido).

      1. You need to learn about gravity, retard.

  7. Daniel Kessler: The Coming ObamaCare Shock
    Millions of Americans will pay more for health insurance, lose their coverage, or have their hours of work cut back.

    Higher premiums are just the beginning, because virtually all existing policies in the individual market and the vast majority in the small-group market do not cover all of the “essential” benefits mandated by the law. Policies without premium increases will have to change, probably by shifting to more restrictive networks of doctors and hospitals. Even if only one third of these policies are affected, this amounts to more than five million people.

    In addition, according to Congressional Budget Office projections in July and September 2012, three million people will lose their insurance altogether in 2014 due to the law, and six million will have to pay the individual-mandate tax penalty in 2016 because they don’t want or won’t be able to afford coverage, even with the subsidies.

    1. something about foreseeable consequences comes to mind

    2. It’s not a shock since we know it’s coming.

      Then again, we’re in the minority.

    3. In addition, according to Congressional Budget Office…

      This is the same CBO that said it would reduce the deficit, create jobs, lower healthcare costs, and expand coverage to 30 million people. Yeah, yeah, garbage in, garbage out, but doesn’t mean they couldn’t haven’t slipped in something REAL into that analysis so supporters didn’t have their shit analysis and data to parade around.

      1. Exactly. If this thing (the CBO) was worth the letters needed to print its name (hint: it’s not), they would actually do the accounting properly. Are they incapable of looking up the numbers themselves? Are they incapable of seeing that certain items are counted twice, while others are not counted at all?

        I need a GBBO (generic Brand Budget Office), where I can tell it that I plan on making $4 million next year, and then I’ll just spend $3.9 million to come in under budget. Nevermind the fact that I’ll be a full time student who makes 1/1000th of that amount for the entire year.

        1. Are they incapable of looking up the numbers themselves? Are they incapable of seeing that certain items are counted twice, while others are not counted at all?

          They’re legally prevented from doing so.

          In the run up to the Obamacare vote a number of people within the CBO publicly stated that their numbers where bullshit – and were promptly ignored by the media.

          1. They’re legally prevented from doing so.

            Is this Congress’ way of saying that they are eliminating partisan BS from the budget, i.e. “The CBO can’t game the system to make this or that look unfavorable; they have to go by the numbers we give them”, all the while incorporating their own partisan BS into the mix by gaming the system from the onset?

            1. Which means that if the CBO now says Obamacare is headed for disaster, it must really be headed for disaster.

    4. I long for the day when anyone admitting to being a progressive will be stoned in the street.

      1. I thought the idea was for everyone to be able to be stoned in the street.

        1. Only those who have initiated force should be stoned, which fortunately for us, is the progressives.

          1. What about people who like to get stoned casually? No love for them?

            1. Stone fetishists?

      2. I continue to hope they will be attacked by rabid bull moose while AR-15 toting gun owners line the streets. As the increasingly trampled proggies beg them to shoot the moose the gun owners insist it is a crime to discharge a firearm inside the city limits “And we don’t have the proper permits for moose, so sorry.”

        OTOH, rabid progressives? well, a lot of them seem pretty rabid already.

  8. Japan and Russia are hoping to officially end World War II.

    It was the Soviet Union that was at war with Japan. Does this mean the Commies will have to be put back in charge for a day to sign the papers?

    1. I’ve been saying for years now that they should have made an autopen for Stalin.

    2. Does this mean the Commies will have to be put back in charge for a day to sign the papers?

      This implies that despite the fact that Russia is no longer the USSR, that its government isn’t still full of commies.

      1. Socialism won, ProL, socialism.

          1. Not if you ask a Japanese person.

            1. Or 90% of foreigners teaching/working over there. They love them some socialized healthcare.

              1. And a perpetual recession. Which, of course, is where we’re headed.

                1. I think we have arrived.

                2. Everyone loves recess. Of course we should make it permanent!

                  1. Can it be a permanent recess for the government? That would be good.

  9. Talking with the taxman about poetry ? and deductions

    “We’ve had several meetings with the auditor since November, and at the last one he said a preliminary determination had been made that we were hobbyists, not artists, and therefore could not write off our expenses,” said Venus, a visual artist, songwriter, bandleader and performer. “This has been unbelievably demoralizing. He basically is saying that if we really knew what we were doing, we should have been more profitable by now, and should have known to give up.”

    “They’re arguing that we’re not intending to make a profit on art, that we’re just pretending to be artists so we can indulge in our hobbies and go on vacations,” said Reini-Grandell, a poet and English professor at Normandale Community College who co-hosts KFAI-FM’S Write-On! Radio. “That’s why they don’t want us to be able to subtract any expenses from our profits. They want us to pay back, with penalties and interest, the refunds we’ve gotten previously. Also, they seem to have put a ton of time into our case. They must be thinking they will make a lot of money from this somehow.”

    1. Something tells me that a “visual artist, songwriter, bandleader and performer” who is also a poet and English professor had a pretty big hand in creating the world in which he now resides.

      1. They’ve had an accountant since the nineties, so I think they always thought they were in compliance. Unless you mean they just voted for the wrong people, and they may have. But there are no right people when the state comes to fuck you, which it definitely sounds like they’re doing.

        They say I tour way too much and that really, my name is already out there enough, after all this time in the business, there is now no need to do any promotional touring.

        Because established artists never leave their home town. Everything about this reads easy mark the government thinks they can bleed dry because they need money and fuck you, that’s why.

        1. I would like to know how much in losses they were taking annually, and if they ever showed revenue from art sales on their returns. If they had an accountant for twenty years, he either sucks horribly for not telling them about the hobby loss rules, or they’re full of shit.

      2. Yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve spent the last who know how many election cycles dutifully voting for the politicians who promised to punish those evul rich bastards. Now that they’re coming after coming after them they’re basically saying “Not us, go after those other rich people, you know, the ones who sit in their corporation houses being all corporation-y and making money!”

        If so, I can’t gin up too much sympathy for them. If you create an out of control monster you really shouldn’t be too surprised when it turns around and comes after you.

        1. If so, I can’t gin up too much sympathy for them. If you create an out of control monster you really shouldn’t be too surprised when it turns around and comes after you.

          Their FB profiles reveal them to be the typical lock-step progbots. This makes me a little giddy.

  10. Heard on the radio this morning:

    “Some people complain that the police are becoming more like the military. Well guess what, they have to. They have to. We’ve got terrorists bombing people now so the police need to be able to stop it.”

    No, I don’t listen to anything on the AM dial, this was a rock station morning show.

    1. This is what happens when you are functionally illiterate.

    2. Nothing says Rock-n-Roll like bending over for the state.

      1. Isn’t that what Rock-n-Roll is all about? Sticking it to Getting stuck by the man?

        1. Only 80s hair metal. That genre was gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys.

    3. I love the political musings of FM top 40 DJs. Unlike your average voter on the street, a DJ has to talk and KEEP talking so even if its idiotic babble he kind of has to roll with it until the commercial break.

    4. That’s odd. In the 1920s some guy exploded a bomb on Wall Street killing a bunch of people and the NYPD didn’t start carrying rifles, wearing khaki and helmets. They kept wearing blue police uniforms and caps. Strangely, they didn’t insist on inspecting every push cart or wagon that entered the area, either.

      1. Guy Fawkes tried to blow up Parliament in 1605 with 36 barrels of gunpowder.

        For some reason, English police weren’t immediately armed and equipped as Dragoons and issued cannons just in case.

        1. c’mon Drake, you know better. The urge to swing into full paranoia existed in 1605, just not so many means to implement it. There were no police, but the Government cast wide for as many people as possible to implicate, torture and kill, and there was anti-Catholic reaction

          1. Burning effigies is my god-given right!

      2. But in the 1920s there was segregation, lynching, no abortion and such. Today is so much freer.

  11. Pirate Party wins 3 seats in Icelandic parliament for its best result worldwide
    One of the new Pirates, Birgitta J?nsd?ttir, has a long history with WikiLeaks.

    On Saturday, Iceland held national parliamentary elections and the newly-formed Pirate Party of Iceland won 5.1 percent of the vote. This earned the party three seats in parliament, making the new P?ratar the most successful Pirate Party in any national legislative body around the globe.

    Iceland’s unicameral parliament, known in Icelandic as the Al?ing (“All-thing”), has just 63 members to represent the country’s 320,000 people.

    1. I’m glad the anti-EU conservatives won.

    2. Honestly, 63 members for 320K seems about right. That’s roughly 5K per member.

  12. Meanwhile, ThinkProgress thinks insurance companies should pay for infertility treatments for gay couples in California. Biology…how does it work?

    “Same-sex couples currently must spend tens of thousands of dollars in order to have a child through methods like surrogacy and egg donors. This is an unfair financial burden that punishes same-sex couples and deprives them of the same opportunity to raise a family. Under this bill, all couples would have the same support to have children. It has nothing to do with “trumping biology”; it’s about creating equity for all California families.”


    1. “it’s about creating equity”

      Start with ownership interest in a property of some sort

    2. “Same-sex couples currently must spend tens of thousands of dollars in order to have a child through methods like surrogacy and egg donors…

      Isn’t it the same for same-sex couples who use the same methods? Or do insurance companies pay for those?

      1. Some insurance companies do, but usually only have you have proven that you or your partner have a medical condition that prevents conception. If not sure if same-sex couples want to go down the route of having their martial status/sexual relationship classified as a medical condition.

        How about a private charity? What? Stop laughing, ThinkProgress.

        1. Infertility clinics are masters of financing. And any couple that is that set on having a child is almost always at least middle class. If you are poor and barely making your rent, you are rarely worried about infertility. Even an entire IVF cycle runs about $20,000, which is less than most new cars and can be financed just like one.

          This is one area where the private sector is actually filling the need. The idea that California taxpayers or insurance premium payers should pay for infertility treatments for some middle class couple, gay or straight, just so they don’t have to take out a loan, is quite offensive. Goes to show people like Think Progress are about the Kulture War and helping people they like and not really much about helping the less fortunate.

          1. Does the clinic repossess the baby during a charge-off? If so, why are we wasting air time on auto repossession shows?

            1. I don’t know. But if they do, TLC is clearly missing out.

    3. more than a few opposite sex couples spend money on fertility treatments, too. Other than griefing and taking a strong step at eroding good will toward gay marriage, what is ThinkProgress’ point here?

      1. Grievancemongering for people who get off on perpetual victimhood.

      2. This line of thought is truly absurd. It’s like they are deliberately trying to parody themselves.

        “Short slobs currently are incapable of slam dunking. This is an unfair ego burden that punishes short slobs and deprives them of the same opportunity to compete above the rim. Under this bill, all short slobs would have the same support to receive Gattaca-style leg extensions, physical therapy and athletic training. It has nothing to do with “trumping biology”; it’s about creating equity for all Californian people.”

        1. I would move to California to overcome the hurdle a sub-6′ stature has imposed on my self-esteem.

        2. Nice! I want 6 fingers like that classical pianist!

        3. If we ever needed Lex Luthor’s Nevada beachfront property scheme, it’s now.

    4. “Same-sex couples currently must spend tens of thousands of dollars in order to have a child through methods like surrogacy and egg donors.”

      Find a lesbian couple that wants children and engage in a barter agreement with them.

    5. I’m confused. I’m pretty sure all the infertility treatments in the world won’t make it easier for a gay couple to produce issue.

      1. intentions, not results.

      2. “Suppose you agree that he can’t actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody’s fault, not even the Romans’, but that he can have the right to have babies.”

      3. I’m also confused. My mom and dad were incapable of producing children. Not for the same reason as gay or lesbian couples, but if you want kids and can’t have them does it really matter why you are SOL? Anywho, my parents adopted-which turned out well for me. Can’t same sex couples do the same?

        1. Gay couples don’t want a used baby. They want brand new babies. And the taxpayers should buy it for them.

          1. What’s the difference? I’m paying through the nose for everyone else’s kids already.

    6. This is an unfair financial burden that punishes same-sex couples and deprives them of the same opportunity to raise a family.

      Their choice to forego fucking someone of the opposite sex is what deprives them of the same opportunity to raise a family as a hetero couple, not the cost of fertility treatments.

      1. No shit.

        I knew a lesbian couple that wanted a baby. They asked me, I said no, so they just went out and got laid. Both of them. They both ended up pregnant about a year apart. It cost them nothing. They never told the guys.

        I havent thought about them for a while, I should see how they are doing.

        1. The simplest, and cheapest solutions are the ones that should never be forced on anyone is Progtopia.

          1. *in* Progtopia.

          2. Not necessarily the cheapest or simplest for the fathers, who can be later sued for child support, regardless of the agreements (or lack of them) at the time.

      2. “Their choice to forego fucking someone of the opposite sex is what deprives them…”

        Which means that the people supporting this are saying, effectively, that homosexuality is a medical disorder.

        1. +1 Insightful
          +1 Funny

        2. Which means that the people supporting this are saying, effectively, that homosexuality is a medical disorder.

          Which are the same people that describe birth control as a health issue rather than the lifestyle issue it actually is.

    7. This would be a good time to discuss adoption – not as if there aren’t babies waiting for someone to adopt them. Even a left-wing gay couple would be better than many of the foster homes these kids would otherwise end up in.

    8. This is an unfair financial burden that punishes same-sex couples and deprives them of the same opportunity to raise a family.

      I see this sentence as sort of the result of conservative (maybe libertarian) talking points. For progressives, it’s all about equal outcome. Non-progressives have always said outcomes can never be the same; people are just too different, but equal opportunity is easier to achieve.

      Now they are throwing those words back to us, stretching anything to fall into the “equal opportunity” category. As mlg stated, they passed up on their equal opportunity when they chose not to have sex with a member of the opposite sex. But that doesn’t change the fact that they are constantly trying to move the goalposts and make their illogical points stick inside logical boundaries.

      1. This is…unfair

        The mating call of the Proglodyte.

    9. “BIOLOGY IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT!” :shitlibrage:

  13. Defense attorneys have begun discussions on a deal that would spare Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev the death penalty in exchange for his cooperation in the investigation.

    So this is what it takes to get a teen to be cooperative.

    1. Consistency from the administration:

      “Thanks for your cooperation, but we lied misspoke about sparing the death penalty.”

      1. An official death penalty is not needed for guys like this. Just toss him into the general population and have the guards turn their backs for about five minutes.

    2. Legislators in California are re-thinking a bill that would limit the disciplinary roles extended to police in school.

  14. http://www.thepostgame.com/blo…..r-it-again

    Jenneke is back with a new GIF.

    1. Man! That smile alone…

      1. Oceania?

        1. We’ve always been at war with those guys, didn’t you get the memo?

          1. Hey, if I am first through the breach of their castle, do I get my pick of the women?

            1. You should pick one who *isn’t* a champion runner.

    2. And in the rain, this time?!?!? Some people’s heads are gonna assplode.

      1. I like short, jumpy runs in the rain, too.

      2. It isn’t my head that’s exploding.

        1. Are you sure?

  15. http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013…..latestnews

    This is pretty cool.

    1. Rat Terriers were bred for this.

      1. They’re great animals, too.

        They don’t turn psycho like Jack Russells.

        A lot of them have hip and knee problems, but that’s the only real breed health issue.

        1. They don’t turn psycho like Jack Russells.

          I’ve yet to see a Jack Russell in any mode other than phycho. They don’t even sleep calmly.

      2. Turn them loose in City Hall.

        1. If used in Chicago, they would never leave the City Council chambers or the 7th floor of City Hall…

          1. Now I want to see Rahm fighting off a pack of terriers.

            Poor doggies. Have to give them something to take the awful taste of politician out of their mouths?

            1. Well, they do frequently eat their own feces.

  16. http://www.foxnews.com/politic…..latestnews

    the truth is offensive.

    1. Only victims are allowed to point out the truth. And facts can only be marshaled for approved causes.

      1. The billboards in this northern Colorado city show three men dressed in traditional Native American attire and the words “Turn in your arms. The government will take care of you.”

        Greeley resident Kerri Salazar, who is of Native American descent, said she was livid when she learned about it. She said she doesn’t have a problem with the gun rights message, but she’s offended the Native American people were singled out, apparently without their consent.

        1. but she’s offended the Native American people were singled out, apparently without their consent.

          That’s nice. Have a cookie.

          1. Jeebus, you need “consent” to portray an ethnic group in an image these days? And how, exactly, does one get that consent?

            1. Well, according to the perpetually offended, you must contact each and every person who is in any way, shape, or form connected to said ethnic group and beg for their absolute blessing. If even one says “no”, you must cease and desist immediately, or you have grievously offended the entire group.

              Is that really too much to ask?

    2. And I wonder how many of those “Native Americans” are just Dem political hacks who happen to be on the rolls somewhere? I spent a fair amount of time doing legal work for Indians in law school and the ones I knew would not have been offended by that.

      1. Greeley resident Maureen Brucker, who has worked with Native American organizations and who frequents the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota as an honorary family member, said she thinks the billboards are making light of atrocities the federal government committed against Native Americans.

        Is this the platonic ideal of missing the point?

        1. Yeah. And note she is a do gooder white woman not an actual Indian. Not always, but most of the time when “Native Americans” are said to be offended by this or that it is in fact stupid white people who claim to speak for “native Americans”.

        2. Maureen Brucker, who has worked with Native American organizations and who frequents the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota as an honorary family member,

          So, apparently not even a native American herself, just being aggrieved on their behalf. Typical lefty.

        3. said she thinks the billboards are making light of atrocities the federal government committed against Native Americans.

          Making light? The billboard is saying that the government will one day murder you. How is that ‘making light’ of anything?

          1. Aren’t you supposed to make light of atrocities? Isn’t that also called remembering? You know that whole “never again” thing?

            Was Spielberg wrong for “making light” of the Holocaust in Schindler’s List?

            1. No, “making light” in that sense means dismissing or joking about, not taking seriously, etc. The billboard doesn’t do that.

      2. “She said she doesn’t have a problem with the gun rights message, but she’s offended the Native American people were singled out”

        Unless we’re singling ourselves out for something special, then it’s perfectly OK. I hate it when groups do that. WE can single ourselves out, but if YOU single us out for something, then that’s wrong, because, like, you did the singling. WTF?

        1. The woman doesn’t seem to know what “singled out” means. It’s not a negative thing when used in this way. Sheesh.

    3. She said the billboard brings to her mind one of the most horrendous examples of that, the Wounded Knee Massacre on the Pine Ridge Reservation in 1890.

      How does she get the point… but not get the point?

      1. Exactly. The US government told an armed minority to turn in their guns, and then massacred them.

        That’s the fucking message of the billboard.

        It is the purest form of cognitive dissonance I’ve ever seen. She knows about Wounded Knee, knows what happened there, and yet still doesn’t like the billboard.

        1. She knows about Wounded Knee, knows what happened there, and yet still doesn’t like the billboard.

          Because guns are icky.

        2. It causes her mental anguish to confront the reality that her God – the federal government – is often not benevolent.

      2. The Right People are in charge now.

    4. Greeley resident Maureen Brucker… said she thinks the billboards are making light of atrocities the federal government committed against Native Americans.

      She said the billboard brings to her mind one of the most horrendous examples of that, the Wounded Knee Massacre on the Pine Ridge Reservation in 1890. Historical accounts say the 7th Cavalry had detained a band of Native Americans and asked them to give up their weapons. Troops began firing after a shot rang out. Death toll estimates of Native American men, women and children range from 150 to 300.

      Then the billboard worked perfectly.

    5. Fuck them. Perhaps someone should suggest to them that the correct response would be to buy a gun.

      1. I like to think that buying a gun is the correct response in man of life’s situations.

  17. The 25 Least Visited Countries in the World

    2. Somalia: 500 tourists (2012, estimate based on news articles)

    get out of my country!

    1. Go to the beach just outside Mogadishu or visit the Bakaara market where you can even buy your own semi-genuine Somalian passport.

      Semi-genuine? Intriguing…

      BTW, I’ve been to Number 19 (Tonga). Jes’ sayin’.

    2. I’ve been to Dominica. The non-trashy parts are very nice to look at. And round-the-clock roosters. Who said those damn birds crow only when the sun comes up?

  18. A Canberra public servant who refused to go to work unless her boss was sacked has lost the latest round of her fight for unfair dismissal compensation.


    1. The fucking “public servant” needs to serve me (metaphorically, since I’m not an Aussie) by sucking it up and going back to work. (Or by never working for taxpayers’ dollars again.)

      Ingrateful bitch.

  19. http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013…..h-bottles/

    This guy was not fired on the spot…..this is the power of the NJEA.

  20. http://www.post-gazette.com/st…..er-685556/

    Crazy sheriff.

    1. …he went to shake the sheriff’s hand at a campaign event, the sheriff called him a profane name and threatened to cut off his hands and eat them…

      1. raw, or with some type of seasoning?

      2. It was the kind of craving that only hands could satisfy.

      1. He was the only one there trained and qualified to wave his weapon around and threaten people.

  21. “Defense attorneys have begun discussions on a deal that would spare Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev the death penalty in exchange for his cooperation in the investigation.”

    Meanwhile, prosecutors have sent up a trial balloon to see if sparing Dzhokhar Tsarnaev the death penalty would completely ruin their chances of making a career out of this case.

    If bombing innocent people at the Boston Marathon and killing children doesn’t merit the death penalty, then why have a death penalty?

    1. If bombing innocent people at the Boston Marathon and killing children doesn’t merit the death penalty, then why have a death penalty?

      good question; I had the same thought with Ted Bundy as the application – when it takes 10 years to execute a serial killer whose guilt was never in doubt, capital punishment seems kinda pointless.

    2. Why indeed. I still think it is totally ridiculous that it is going to be a federal case, which is the only way the death penalty can apply.

    3. Indeed. Time to finally abolish it and move forward.

  22. NH Man Loses Life Savings On Carnival Game – and all he got was a banana in dreadlocks

    The 30-year-old from Epsom says he kept trying to win back his money by going double or nothing. He dropped $300 in just a few minutes, then says he went home to get $2,300 more and soon lost all of that as well.

    “You just get caught up in the whole ‘I’ve got to win my money back.'”

    1. You gotta be shitting me. How the fuck did two of us find that same story?

      1. you both have Google Alerts for the phrase “banana in dreadlocks”

      2. Maybe both of you pervs were searching “banana in dreadlocks” before your sweet, unsuspecting wives were awake.

        1. I already own a dreadlocked banana outfit, thank you very much. I wear it to Renaissance Faires ironically.

          1. “We really don’t know that much about medieval life. Maybe there really were dragons and magic and bananas with dreadlocks. We just don’t know.”

            1. they were very close to the technology that would produce dreadlocked bananas, but failed to turn up the bass enough

      3. I saw it waay on the bottom of Drudge – just liked it for the banana photo

        1. cool story, bro

      4. So much for the kinder, gentler sloopy, eh?

        1. Meh, I’m gonna try to keep it up.

          1. Would you please stop talking about your penis?

            1. I thought he was talking about yours/

    2. $2600 was his life’s savings? Man that’s sad.

      1. Eh. Anyone who can produce $2600 cash within an hour is doing fine in ‘Murca. I don’t think I could come up with more than $500 after my cash on hand ran out, as I have ATM withdrawal limits.

  23. http://mediamatters.org/blog/2…..ric/193825

    California seems prepared to argue that giving a political candidate a discounted ad rate is an illegal campaign contribution.

    I would LOVE to see California pursue this case.

    Because it’s a perfect test case to use to destroy the in-kind contribution limits.

    Why? Because it’s pretty much indisputable under current law that if the newspaper just decided to give their favored candidates space for free (by calling them “guest columnists” or something) they would have the unlimited right to do so. So by pursuing this case, you’d be putting the state of California in the position of arguing before the SCOTUS that a newspaper can give a candidate space in their paper for free and it’s constitutionally protected, but if they charge that candidate a nickel for the same space, it’s not.

    Good luck with that one.

    1. And how is an editorial board endorsement anything but an “in kind contribution”?

      1. John, it’s not, because progressive papers endorsing progressive candidates is an example of informing the public, while faux ‘news’ Koch shills endorsing evil throwers-of-old-people-off-the-cliff is tricking the public.

        Totally different.

    2. You seem to think that they’ll be employing your patriarchal, racist, western linear logic. They have freed themselves from such constraints.

  24. “Does anyone have any anger or negative feelings against people who come from Australia or the continent of Australia?”


    1. Um…they owe me $6.50 and two hours of my life back for Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles.

      1. You can’t hold others responsible for your bad decisions.

        1. I went with a chick!

          She wanted to go.

          She insisted on going dutch, or they’d owe me thirteen bucks!

          And I’m not charging them for parking or the drinks and Junior Mints.

          1. Junior Mints – are you giving them a discount for the hummer you earned?

          2. Junior Mints – are you giving them a discount for the hummer you earned?

          3. Sorry, but the original bad decision of going to a movie a chick wanted to see is still not their fault.

            1. They can send it to me by PayPal or they can write me a check, but so long as I’m sitting on the jury? Every. Single. Australian. is going to jail.

              The pain stops when I get my money back.

      2. You call that a regret?

    2. I just smiled and gave the attorney a Vegemite sandwich.

      1. Oh, you’re from a Land Down Under?!

  25. http://www.businessinsider.com…..ore-2013-4

    I never really liked her that much.

    1. the Jeffrey Toobin part at the end is pure gold. Because there would have been no action re: terror with a Gore presidency; we would have simply issued a strongly worded letter.

      Guess O’Connor is trying to burnish that legacy as she confronts mortality so big-city opinion writers will say nice things about her.

      1. I had a liberal once assert that Toobin’s book on the Court was a scholarly, reasonable, neutral and unbiased work.

      2. The article says “O’Connor has admitted” that the decision may have been a bad idea.

        “Admit” means “acknowledge the truth of,” indicating that, to this reporter, the truth is that Bush v. Gore was a bad thing. I love objective reporting!

        Would they do an article saying that Democratic Senator so-and-so admits gun control is a bad idea?

  26. U.S. role at a crossroads in Mexico’s intelligence war on the cartels

    The December inauguration of President Enrique Pe?a Nieto brought the nationalistic Institutional Revolutionary Party (PRI) back to power after 13 years, and with it a whiff of resentment over the deep U.S. involvement in Mexico’s fight against narco-traffickers.

    The new administration has shifted priorities away from the U.S.-backed strategy of arresting kingpins, which sparked an unprecedented level of violence among the cartels, and toward an emphasis on prevention and keeping Mexico’s streets safe and calm, Mexican authorities said.

    1. BTW. That article is full of TS SSCI information. I would expect the FBI to be visiting a few people in the coming weeks.

      1. Lots of info that many would probably wish to keep classified, but not that level.

    2. But they won’t even consider the only thing that will make Mexico’s streets safe and calm – widespread gun ownership.

  27. New Hampshire man loses life savings on carnival game, but wins giant stuffed banana with dreadlocks.*

    *This is a kinder, gentler sloopy you will be seeing more of in the future.

  28. I was thinking about this Jason Collins story this morning. It such a non story. There is a gay athlete, So what? But wouldn’t it be great if he was just rolling the media? Think about this from his perspective. Collins is a marginal NBA player. He is 34 years old and one of the last guys off the bench for one of the league’s worst teams. He has at best a 50/50 chance of making a roster next year. Chances are pretty good that he will end up floating around the league on ten day contracts as teams need short term help to replace injured players. But now thanks to coming out, I will guarantee you the league will make sure he gets a veteran minimum guaranteed contract next year so that there isn’t so much as a hint that he was run out of the league for being gay. So now he is getting at least one year maybe two years of vet minimum money (which is over a million dollars) that he wouldn’t have gotten before. And I would be very surprised if Nike or Addidis or someone doesn’t sign him to an endorsement deal. The gay market is not huge. But it is there and it is there to be had. And without being gay, no way does the 11th man on the Wizards get any endorsement money. All and all not a bad deal.

    Hell, I think I could lie about being gay for that kind of cash. Play a couple of years, collect some endorsement checks, then retire and meet a special woman and decide that the straight life is really for you. See you suckers.

    1. John,

      You are way too skeptical for your own good.

      Well done.

      1. Every white douche bag sports writer is getting their PC on writing thumb sucking story after thumb sucking story about the “significance of this”. It would be so great if he was just trolling them.

        I was very disappointed Manti Teo wasn’t just trolling them. I wish he had just laughed and said “of course I was lying but I knew you people will believe anything to get a human interest story and I wanted some publicity”.

        1. Manti Teo

          Who know how else made up a fake fiancee? Jason Collins.

          1. In an ideal world, Teo would come out and him and Collins would hit the red carpet together. How awesome would that be?

            1. ESPN.GO.COM would slag all their serves because of the traffic.

        2. I heard Mike Francesa going off on how this means absolutely nothing to him. For once, I agreed with him.

    2. I dont think AC Green’s virginity worked as well for him, financially.

      1. Tebow’s raking it in. Even if he has to go play in Canada, he’s still a rich young man.

        1. And if it turns out that Tebow has played the “virginity” card as a way to get various women to show him the way, he would be so awesome, I might have to go gay for the guy.

      2. I’ve been to AC Green’s house. He ain’t hurting for cash.


    3. it’s a story in that he’s an active player. The other males who have come out all did so after retirement. You’re probably right that this buys him a PC-driven contract for a year, a lot of media interviews, etc. Wonder if anyone will ask “Jason, why did you wait till your career was pretty much over before coming out?”

      1. He’s “Active” in the sense that he’s not technically a free agent until the playoffs are over.

        If nobody were to sign him, then this announcement will have come after the last time he stepped on the court.

        Now, John is absolutely right on what Collins is doing. He played only 6 games (out of an 82 game season) for the Washington Wizards. Allen Iverson has a better chance of signing somewhere next season. Now John will get a veteran minimum contract and not have to deal with 10 day contracts whenever a big man goes on IR for a few games. He is now also guaranteed a cushy job in some BS ‘Diversity’ department in the NBA league office as well as constant requests for analysis on NBC Sports and ESPN and probably an honorary HoF introduction, if not the outright vote.

        This guy (wisely IMO) just made an otherwise forgettable end to a career into a home stretch final season of adoration and media attention with nothing but open doors at the end of next season.

        FUCKING. GENIUS. Now this is how you troll!!!!

        1. Meant to say Jason instead of John. Sorry for mixing you up with a 7 foot 255 foot homo, John. You understand, I’m sure.

        2. For sure. At his age, I would have been very surprised if he had made a roster next fall. But not now.

        3. he only played 6 games? for the wizards? how much does he stink?

          /knows nothing about basketball

          1. A lot NoVA. He is a just a big body at this point. A practice player to fill space and come in in spots during games.

    4. I actually thought it was a really good article, but he seriously overdid the whole woe-is-me routine.

      “Being a gay man is such a difficult ordeal that I can barely even sleep at night.” Give me a break dude, I don’t believe you at all.

      1. If it was 1955 and you could get thrown in jail for being gay, I could understand that. But in 2013? Yeah whatever. Stop being a victim and just be who you are.

      2. Well, if he spends all night getting drilled in the ass, I expect that would mnake it difficult to sleep. The life of a power bottom is fraught with perils.

    5. Yeah this whole story is seriously pissing me off.

      Not cause I got a problem with a gay athlete, not cause I think being gay is an affront against god (I’m an athiest), but because I am so sick and frigging tired of the hypocracy and outright lying on the media’s part.

      No it really was not all that courageous for Collins to “come out” as evidenced by the outpouring of support he has received, the courageous one was the (completely and utterly wrong but at least honest) Chris Broussard who is being excoriated in the press and on Twitter and may very well lose his job if ESPN can find a way to fire him without giving him a civil rights case against them.

      Look I get it, this is the first time we’ve had a publicly gay athlete in a major American team sport but you know I’m sick of hearing about it, I don’t really give a damn about athletes sex lives, whether it is Wilt Chamberlains 10,000 women or Jason Collins’ discrete dudes I just don’t care and am sick and tired of hearing about it.

      Further, I’m sorry that you felt so oppressed because you felt you had to hide who you are but you know however bad that made you feel it is nothing compared to what 99% of the American public has to put up with just struggling to put food on their tables, at this point you are little more than a washed up multi-millionaire and it is really hard to have much sympathy for you.

      1. The media just wants to use him to score points in the culture war. Few people care one way or another. I think most people think that Magic Johnson is at least bisexual. And he is absolutely beloved and rightly so. The idea that an athlete would somehow face ostracism for being gay is just wishful thinking on the media’s part.

        1. Well he would face some ostracism (and Collins has) but I think that we’ve clearly seen that the ostracism is far outweighed by the support he’s received

  29. Rand Paul’s ascent brings new scrutiny ahead of possible 2016 campaign

    Sen. Rand Paul’s (R-Ky.) rapid ascent to prominence has not been entirely smooth, and Republicans and supporters alike warn that he’ll have to improve his message and the way he communicates it if he hopes to launch a credible campaign in 2016.

    Paul faced a rocky April, with a widely-criticized speech to Howard University, followed by a call for restraint on immigration reform that baffled some supporters and culminating with him appearing to contradict his prominent opposition to domestic drone strikes.

    1. Paul faced a rocky April, with a widely-criticized speech to Howard University,

      Widely criticized by whom? For what? That is a classic example of the kind of media bias that drives me nuts. Paul gives a speech that by all accounts went over well with the audience. So well in fact, liberals feel threatened by it. So immediately, the speech is considered to be “widely criticized” and that talking point is inserted into “news” story after story so that it becomes conventional wisdom.

      1. I think that they don’t see the long game Rand is playing.

        His last name means that people think he’s a libertarian nut off the bat.

        So he makes a few moves in that direction that get a lot of attention.

        He then immediately DIALS THEM BACK.

        Now he still gets the “radical outsider” cred from his name, gets the “fucked with Obama” cred from the filibuster, gets the “moving the GOP in a new direction” cred from the immigration proposal and the Howard speech, BUT gets the “not really all that crazy after all and kind of a traditional conservative” cred from his dial-backs.

        It’s a classic Clintonian approach.

        All he needs to do now is throw a prominent libertarian under the bus Sister Souljah style and he’s all set. I predict Rockwell.

        1. I think you are right about all of that. And it is all smart politics. His name gives him all of the rightwing creed he needs and causes liberals to go nuts. That sets things up perfectly for then to tack away throwing a few bones to the SOCONS and on immigration and such. Then people see him and see him as being a reasonable person and the attacks don’t stick.

          It is also classic Reagan. In the late 70s, Reagan was consider as radical as Ron Paul. He won the Presidency by having a sense of humor, optimism and showing the country he was in fact nothing like his critics claimed he was.

        2. I’d be a little sad if it were Rockwell. Besides not that many people even know who he is. He’d probably prefer that most people don’t even know he knows who Rockwell is. I think Limbaugh would be better. His schtick is old anyways. And it wouldn’t have to be a big in-you-face take down, just a very well phrased and high profile disagreement. Maybe revolving around mandatory minimums and drug abuse?

          1. Nobody knew who Sister Souljah was before Clinton denounced her, and that didn’t matter.

            It’d be stupid for him to take on Limbaugh, who is hugely popular, not really that much of a socon, and not unfriendly to libertarians. He doesn’t have too many positions that would outrage vast swaths of the electorate. Souljah did, and Rockwell probably does.

            1. “not unfriendly to libertarians.”

              At times

      2. How dare he contradict the crayon drawn straw man position on drones that the statist quo media had assigned to him!

    2. 1. Howard speech: Widely-criticized?

      2. Immigration reform: check

      3. Drones: No contradiction, it was never about drones, per se.

      1 out of 3 aint bad.

  30. sloopyinca, and a lot of the rest of you, keep emailing me to find out how things turned out in my fantasy hockey leagues. I’ll just answer here so I don’t have to answer each and every one of your individually.

    I won one! The other one I came in third–which was still in the money.

    Now you know, and you can stop barraging me with those emails–sheesh! I’ve been busy, okay?!

    1. sloopyinca, and a lot of the rest of you,

      OK, I lolled.

      Anybody want to go to the Red Wings-Mighty Duck Fucks game on Thursday? Banjos and I are planning on going down.

      1. Boudreau has coached more talented teams–that consistently cave in the playoffs–and the Red Wings have been getting stronger and stronger lately…

        I’d bet on the Octopus to take that series.

        1. I hope so. I’m a big Red Wings fan, which is the only redeeming thing to come from that hellhole of a state. I just hope I get to see them in Anaheim and then in Staples Center or San Jose in another round. That would be pretty sweet.

          I wonder how hard it would be to smuggle an octopus in there? I managed a bottle of booze in my baby carrier at Staples a few weeks ago, but after the Boston bombing, I bet security is tighter. And an octopus smells stronger than Seagrams 7.

          1. After all of the years the Caps spit the bit in the playoffs after great regular seasons, I am starting to maybe this year, the year they started off so badly people gave up on them, is finally the year they make a deep run. I am too jaded to think they will win the Cup. But I could definitely see them winning a couple of rounds.

            1. I want to see a series against the Penguins.

              I’m cautiously optimistic.

              1. How will the Caps get to play the Pens when the Islanders are going to eliminate those bitches and send them to the golf course?

                1. The Islanders were 10-11-3 at home this year, and they lost their last three games–in a row.

                  I know it’s a different game in the playoffs, but it isn’t that different.

                  1. They went 11-0-2, clinched a playoff spot, and then went 0-1-2 in 3 games that no longer mattered all that much.

                    Sure, I wish they won those shootout games, so they could play Montreal or Boston instead of Pittsburgh, but I honestly don’t think Tavares gave a damn who they played.

                    If Bailey and Okposo continue to play like they have for the last 25 games, Pittsburgh is not looking at a gimme here.

            2. I saw the Capitals play in the 1998 Stanley Cup finals game 4. I almost cried when the Wings rolled Vladi Konstantinov out onto the ice with the cup.

              1. The Caps are a cursed franchise.

                1. The Caps are a cursed shitty franchise.


                  1. No shittier than most. Other than the Wings and the Pens, most franchises suck or at most have a few good years only to suck again like say the Rangers in the 90s or the Avs in the 00s.

                    1. The Penguins have been an awful franchise. In and out of bankruptcy, lousy stadium deal, etc. No, I’d say the best franchises in hockey are probably Detroit and San Jose. They just do smart deals and have a solid scouting/farm system.

                      Behind that, I’d say the Canadiens are getting their shit back together and the Canucks have always been steady.

                    2. I love tradition. And having been to Montreal multiple times and seeing how much the Canadians mean to that city, I am glad to see them get their act together. I know they are like Yankees and a lot of people hate them. But they are a great franchise and that city is utterly devoted to them. They deserve a decent franchise.

                  2. And at least the Caps win more than they lose most years. More than you can say for the Islanders, Maple Leafs and a lot of others.

                2. We would have won that year if Halak hadn’t gotten hot playing for the Habs.

                  They blew up the team, basically, just because Halak got hot in playoffs.

                  A goalie gets hot, and you can lose a playoff series–that’s no reason to blow up your team.

                  We had a great chance with Dale Hunter coaching, too. It’s amazing that Ovi has done as well as he has adapting through all this, and now he’s playing at RW? Managed to lead the league in scoring despite switching to Right Wing and the early season slump?

                  If Holtby manages to show up, we’ve got as good a chance as anybody, but we’re gonna have to get a lot more physical–than I’ve seen us play this year so far.

                  And the Pens have James Neal and Crosby back–and Iginla, too? The Caps always manage to play them tough–Ovi’s a Cup and a gold medal behind Crosby in the history books…we’ll probably play the Pens harder than anyone else would.

                  But I’m not sure anyone else CAN beat the Pens–I don’t think the Blackhawks can beat them in a seven game series.

                  1. I’d put my money on the Blackhawks not even winning the west. Hell, if I had to put money on it right now, I’d say the west finals will be between San Jose and Detroit.

                    1. “I’d say the west finals will be between San Jose and Detroit.”

                      I’ll take a bet of a $10 donation to the Reason Foundation on that, sloopy.

                    2. I’d say the west finals will be between San Jose and Detroit.

                      Um…it’s great to see Franzen back in form. He helped me through the fantasy playoffs and take the championship…and he always shows up IRL playoffs…

                      But where’s the defense?

                      You’re missing Holmstrom bad, right about now.

                      Real Bad.

                  2. Ovi’s game improved b/c he’s stopped boozing. at least according so some of the cops I play with that do private security for the caps.

                    1. NoVA.

                      I am working on my skating. I bought my first pair of hockey skates last week. Moved on from the rental figure skates. I think I am about six months from being able to skate well enough to give hockey a shot. Need to find a good novice adult league.

                    2. There’s a league down at the rec center near me. Mount Vernon Rec Center, I believe. But you’re in MD, non?

                    3. I play in fairfax … you can email me at novahockeypl@gmail.com if you want.

                      there’s a novice league there. it’s a shit rink, but a good group

                    4. John–Check out Gardens Ice Center off of Old Gunpowder Road in Beltsville. Lots of rec leagues there.

                    5. Ovi’s game improved b/c he’s stopped boozing.

                      I don’t believe he was boozing for a second.

                    6. A Russian, an alcoholic? I mean that is just unheard of!!

                    7. Same reason Patrick Kane is back – put the bottle down.

  31. local: if you heard about the Jessica Herringa abduction

    that’s one of my friend’s niece.

    1. That is horrible. It would seem they have a real sicko on the lose up there. Never get in the van. Make them shoot and kill you right there in public.

      1. it’s a pretty safe area – but right off the highway, so pretty easy pickings for anyone with the guts to do it. Also no security cameras at the gas station. The owner, as expected, is getting a lot of flack for that.

    2. Poor woman. I hope she beats the odds. 🙁

    3. Aw, Jesus man. I hope they find her and she’s ok.

    4. I think if you add a lot of these stories together there’s a guy out there with a bunch of 5’1″ blondes in his basement.

      It seems like for the last couple of years all the “missing white girl” stories have strangely clustered around the same height and weight and general appearance.

      It could be that the media preferentially reports those stories, but there’s an odd pattern here lately even within the “Stop everything a blonde girl is missing” stories they like to cover.

      1. I am not surprised that taller and heftier women are less likely to be kidnapped.

    1. Did you watch that reality show on Everest a few years ago? Everest has become a train station of rich yuppies.

      1. I think it has become too safe.

        1. That’s why they’ve added fist fights with Sherpas.

        2. That’s why I climb K2. K2–a real man’s mountain.

          1. The Andees. Watch the movie Touching the Void sometime.

          2. “The K-12, dude. You make a gnarly run like that and girls will get sterile just looking at you!”

      2. The Sherpas do all the serious work, it’s self esteem for rich people.

        1. It really is. If you hire Sherpas to carry everything and you have oxygen all the way up, it is still very dangerous, but it is not quite the feat of endurance it once was.

          1. The route is as well mapped out as the street past my house, There’s no exploration going on.

            1. No. The only element of unpredictability is the weather. You are rolling the dice that the weather doesn’t come in at the wrong time and kill you or you don’t get tired and take a misstep in the wrong place. That is about it.

              1. “The only element of unpredictability is the weather.”

                And the climbers above you, apparently.

          2. It’s still quite a feat of endurance, though. Anything at that elevation is.

        2. And lots of money for the local guides.

    2. I should point out that if the slope is 45 degrees, and they are 30 feet above those guys, that ice the climbers knocked down would be going approx 5 – 10 m/s, which can be deadly.

      Which is an utter dick move on their part.

    3. The best detail:

      The climbers… were met by more than 100 angry Sherpas, who began to beat them and throw rocks

      1. Shouting, “that’s for Tensing!”

    4. I watch Everest every year (meaning, I read the blogs, etc.). I’m starting to think I might like to climb it, but from the north side (featured in 2 out of the 3 seasons of Everest: Beyond the Limit). I don’t know if any reputable guides run out of the north side anymore, though.

      I see David Tait (featured on 2 seasons of Beyond the Limit) is back at it again this year. Rich bored guy.

      1. Isn’t the north face pretty much a straight shot up? No Hillary step, no Khumbu icefall, just an enormous steep face.

      2. But no Sherpas to carry your shit. Tibetans don’t climb mountains.

        1. They have plenty of Sherpas working for guide companies at the North Side. They can get visas for China like everyone else (watch the first two seasons of Beyond the Limit). The North side is reputed to be easier. The biggest obstacle is the Second Step, but that’s really just mental. I was trying to find our why Russell Brice switched to the South Side after operating exclusively in China, but couldn’t come up with anything. My guess it was political and he didn’t want to deal with the Chinese government anymore.

  32. Looking for a quality hooker, fear no more.

    1. Rental property is always an iffy proposition.

    2. There’s also Naughty Reviews, which has reviews of strip clubs, massage parlors, escorts, etc…or so I heard.

    3. “Four stars-would screw again. But before you leave, make sure you still have your wallet.”

    4. A fascinating site. Many of the women are rather indistinguishable, ranging from not bad to pretty attractive 20-somethings, but every now and then there’s someone unusual: a tattooed BBW, a homely and lumpy Hispanic, or a 57-year-old who’s actually not bad at all. And the reviews are filled with hilarious abbreviations: DATY, GFE, BBBJTCWS, MSOG.

  33. Well, I just got offered a job in SoCal that I can’t refuse.

    1. Congratulations. It is liberal hell. But if you are paid well enough to live, it is still California. No matter how hard the progs try to turn it into Detroit, it is so nice and so beautiful it still manages to resist their efforts.

      1. Nope. Same business I’m in but a different company. It’ll probably end up being about a $50k a year raise (with a lot more responsibility). I mean, how the fuck does one turn that down?

        And we’ll be in the Inland Empire, so the cost of living won’t be that different from where we are now.

        1. “I am going to make you an offer you cannot refuse”.

          That sounds like one. Nicely done!

        2. But what about the artisian capricho?!

          1. artisian? You’re turning into John

        3. Welcome to the party, pal!

          /John McClane

        4. They are practically giving away houses in Riverside these days…

        5. And we’ll be in the Inland Empire

          That’s not really California, is it? I mean, except for maybe afternoon skiing what other California attribute does it offer 🙂

    2. Stripper?

      1. If it were a stipper job it would be Houston or Atlanta.

    3. Coach of the Chargers?

      1. Ha! No, this will be a step up.

    4. Who’s getting your good guns? I’d take them off your hands, but, you know, Chicago.

      1. I’d be interested. If any are for sale.

      2. Sounds like he’ll be making enough to afford a storage vault in Nevada.

  34. Statists are red,
    Progtards are blue,
    Red Sox best start,
    Since 2002.

  35. Genetic surprise could end UK’s redhead prejudice


    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, you’re all gingers you pieces of shit.

    1. Manservant Jeffery: Sir, our army grows larger by the day.

      Evil Redheaded Leader: Very good Jeffery, very good. Our plans are falling into place.

      Jeffery: When will it begin?

      Leader: Soon Jeffery, very soon.

    2. 28 Days Later is making more and more sense by the day.

    3. That shit definitely skips a generation. None of my brothers or me got it but my niece and nephew – ugh, sick!

  36. Police kidnap infant after parents sought second medical opinion.

  37. Angelina Jolie modeling underwear at 16.
    You’ll be in your bunk.

    1. Underwear? Did people sleep in bathing suits in 1991?

    2. Damn. She is so over exposed you kind of forget just how spectacular she once was.

    3. Huh, not so much. I take back everything I ever said about 21 years of aging, the plastic chin, two nose revisions, and the chest balloons.

    4. Good looking’ kid. Good lookin’ kid.

  38. Clint Eastwood’s daughter. Oh my.

    1. He’s got like thirty of them.

      All of them by hot moms.

      He’s like the Genghis Khan of Hollywood.


      1. Can you imagine?

        1,000 years from now, genetic anthropologists may discover that 8% of North American men are descended from Clint Eastwood.

        1. Only the badasses.

      2. He’s pretty much the closest thing we have to a living deity in America.

    2. Guys who date her must spend their time in terror. With her, they see his squint looking at them. Not to mention Clint himself.

      1. That is a risk I would be willing to take.

        1. Ever see the duel in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly?

          1. Is there anyone out there who hasn’t?

            1. When you have to shoot, shoot. Don’t talk.

    3. She is so much hotter than her mother. Sanda Locke was homely as a fence post. But damn, not the daughter.

      1. I wouldn’t have kicked her out of bed.


        1. That is a good shot of her and when she was very young. Watch her in The Gauntlet or the Every Which Way But Loose movies sometime. Not horrible, but not that great.

          1. I think a lot of it is that she doesn’t smile much. She’d be a lot prettier if she did.

            1. True sarcasmic.

          2. I’m thinking of her in the Outlaw Josey Wales – she looked pretty damn good in that movie.

      2. She’s actually the daughter of Clint and Frances Fisher.

        1. Oh. Now Fisher was hot as I remember.

      3. “Sanda Locke was homely as a fence post.”

        Well it’s not like he ever turned down any better looking chicks just because he was with Sandra Locke.

        It wasn’t an either/or kinda thing.

        He has eight children by six different women–and he’s only been married twice. One of them to the chick he’s married to now, who’s 35 years younger than he is.

        Talk about a great way to slide into home!

        For him, it’s not about kicking Sandra Locke out of bed. It’s about inviting the other 20 chicks he was screwing into bed, too!

  39. Book about Captain Phil Harris. Never miss an opportunity to make a buck, right?

    1. What a badass he was.

      1. ‘Pharmaceutical quality Peruvian flake cocaine and high-grade strains of cannabis were the way Phil rolled.’


      2. I always really liked him. I haven’t really watched the show after he died. Unlike many people on reality shows, Phil seemed to be the real deal. And he was a bad ass. But from what I could tell a very good guy. I think his crew seemed to genuinely like and respect him.

      3. True story. I once sat two seats down on an airplane from Sig Hanson. It was in 07. The guy next to me and I were like teenagers seeing Justin Bieber. Sig was in coach. And was actually very polite and down to earth. Pretty much exactly as he seemed on the show.

        1. Sig is main reason my wife and I still watch the show. If he leaves we’ll likely stop.

          1. I always liked his brother too. But he seemed to have turned into a whiner when last I watched it. Get over your whining Edgar or quit doing it.

            1. really? I always pegged Edgar for the “guy who would survive the boat sinking”

          2. Sig won’t leave – he’s one of the “founders” of the show, and credited as a consultant and producer, I believe.

            The best captain on that show was Eric Nyhammer of the Rollo. So fucking hot.

            1. By any objective measure, that is totally false Kristen. But I can totally respect you thinking that way for prurient reasons. If the show were about women captains, I would completely judge them by their looks.

  40. World’s fastest sailboat can reach sustained speeds of 60mph.

    1. France wins next America’s Cup?

      Oh wait, they went away from the free-for-all rules, didnt they?

      1. Yep, and that thing is one propeller away from being an airplane.

    2. There is a youtube video of the American boat practicing in San Fransisco bay. It is fucking awesome. The boat is basically out of the water expect for two tiny fins on the side of one of the catermeran floats. They have be doing over fifty.

  41. Massachusetts is a state sponsor of terrorism.

    1. A 100K in benefits? Fuck.

      1. Over an 11 year period?

        That’s easy to do.

        Section 8 housing vouchers ALONE could easily get you benefits of $1000-$2000 a month.

        1. yeah. But still, I thought welfare was supposed to be a temporary thing. Eleven years?

          1. I can guarantee you that more people DIE their way out of Section 8 than earn their way out every year.

            Section 8 is forever.

            1. And a lot of people on section 8 are lower middle class working people who live in the lone section 8 housing in rich areas. I know one person who lives in Section 8 housing and she has a full time job. Just not one that pays enough to live in the area she does.

          2. That’s a myth. Plenty of welfare is long term, and, of course, not really means-tested.

            My wife regularly encounters people on the home-school circuit who are able to stay at home and own nice cars and electronics by virtue of their “benefits.” I think it’s become a supplemental income for many.

            1. Welfare is temporary. But it turns into disability which is indeed forever.

            2. My mother worked in healthcare for years. Back then the favorite trick was to shack up with your boyfriend while collecting child support on your bastard children and welfare.

              1. Oh, that’s still the trick. The chronic welfare classes don’t marry anymore because it fucks their benefits. That’s a huge part of baby daddy/baby momma culture.

              2. Back then the favorite trick was to shack up with your boyfriend while collecting child support on your bastard children and welfare.

                FL just changed the alimony laws so that you can have your alimony refigured if your ex starts doing this. (Especially the shacking up rent-free.) The wails from the women’s rights crowd were drowned out by the orgasms from the Association of Family Law Practitioners.

      2. Apparently, I’ve been doing it wrong, busting my ass as a single parent with 1.2 paying jobs. 🙂

    2. As a MA resident, this is really torturing me. My current employment is coming to an end at the end of July. I still have four classes to take to get my degree and they are day classes only. There’s no trouble finding contract work here and there, but if I get my degree that might bring better opportunities.

      1. What field do you work in?

        Cause I’m here in Ma and work in IT and I practically have companies throwing themselves at me and I don’t even have a degree, just 16 years of experience.

      2. I think I’ve asked before, but what field?

  42. Let’s Go Dortmund!
    Have a DAB in their honour.

    1. Real wins 3-1.

      I’ll be happy to see an all-Kraut CL Final.

      1. Yeah, you can just tune in when the penalty shoot-out starts after they draw 0-0 at the end of extra time.

    2. It would take a fuck-up of historic proportions for them to lose.

    3. Mourinho blames his team’s naivety:

      “We are so pure and so naive that Lewandowski scored four goals and we didn’t foul him even once.”

      More here:


  43. Youth continues to be wasted on the young.


  44. US born kids have more allergies an asthma than kids born abroad


    1. Parents that never expose their kids to germs and have them walk around with antibacterial gel in their pockets are to blame.

      1. That’s the theory I favor. Americans really do seem to have a special paranoia about that sort of thing. I’d really like to see a study on this that tries to look at how much kids are exposed to germs and dirt and stuff.

      2. I’ve been exposed to plenty of germs and never used antibacterial gel outside of science classes; still have crippling asthma, and allergies that have sent me to the hospital on multiple occasions. If it were a matter of not eating dirt, I’d have nothing to worry about.

  45. Krugabe explains it

    So what could we do to reduce unemployment? The answer is, this is a time for above-normal government spending, to sustain the economy until the private sector is willing to spend again. The crucial point is that under current conditions, the government is not, repeat not, in competition with the private sector. Government spending doesn’t divert resources away from private uses; it puts unemployed resources to work. Government borrowing doesn’t crowd out private investment; it mobilizes funds that would otherwise go unused.

    Even if we accept at face value the nonsense about government not crowding out private action, I like how he casually glosses over the unpleasant reality of the immortality of government programs. “Well, we’ll just do this to jump start things, and then we’ll cut back. Honest. No, really.”

    1. “Just the tip.”

    2. Get the government the fuck out of the private sector’s way, and the economy will do fine, thank you. And stop spending all of our money.

      1. Yep. I think we would be seeing an honest-to-God recovery happening right now if not for Obamacare. Stable tax rates, the sequester, the energy boom thanks to fracking, strong corporate profits and lots of money still sitting on the sidelines waiting to be invested in expansion – take away Obamacare and I think it all adds up to a fairly strong recovery.

        1. The problem is that accumulated regulations, on the federal, state, and local levels, have effectively killed the free enterprise system.

          Now one must ask permission and take orders from so many government idiots in the course of attempting to do business that it simply isn’t worth the bother.

          The blame does not lie with any individual bill or party, but with a system where there is no incentive to repeal shitty rules. Rather there is an incentive to respond to unintended consequences with more unintended consequence creating rules. The result is an exponential growth in rules that has culminated in the death of the greatest engine for the creation of wealth in the history of mankind.

          1. Yes, but I think it’s the constant addition of new regulations that causes the most pain. Americans are generally flexible and resilient, and will figure out ways to work with or around any set of fixed regulations. But these days the government just keeps piling them on.

            1. The damage has already been done. Free enterprise is dead. New regulations won’t make it more dead. Dead is dead.

          2. Unfortunately, I don’t think we have a system of “predictable” regulations any more, even if you utterly froze the addition of new regulations as of today.

            The regulatory landscape is now so vast that it has ceased to be law, really, and now is just semiotics.

            In other words, if you attempt to undertake economic activity, the various levels of government to which you are subject will either approve of that activity or won’t approve of it, as a matter of personalities. The regulation quoted to either allow you to proceed, or to stop you, will be chosen by these governmental personalities as almost a literary reference, or as a Bible quote in a theological debate. And not as law at all.

            We now have what amounts to economic totalitarianism for anything more significant than pure private consumption. The regulations referenced are just a ritual, like the Latin Mass.

            1. Yeah, Fluffy. That’s about it. You’ll get permission from the regulator when you please him as a person, not when you comply with the regulation. As long as you fail to show sufficient deference and respect, you will never be approved.

              Rule of law is no more. It’s now rule of man.

              1. As long as you fail to show sufficient deference and respect.

                Also, if you piss them off now, they can always retro-actively discover that woops! we made a clerical error. You now us a zillion dollars in back penaltaxes/compliance fees/fines. Plus interest.

    3. The crucial point is that under current conditions, the government is not, repeat not, in competition with the private sector. Government spending doesn’t divert resources away from private uses; it puts unemployed resources to work.

      Then why does Paul Krugman argue in favor of tax increases? If all that matters is getting ‘unemployed resources’ to work, then you should do so with deficit spending. Krugman’s a liar and his economic arguments are completely at odds with one another.

    4. Government spending, is there anything it can’t do? I know this will never happen, but how is it that none of Krugabe’s brain dead readers never notice that his solution to every problem is more spending?

      1. Government spending is magic. You see when the government prints money, it creates value out of thin air. Not only that but when it spends that money, the magical multiplier kicks in and increases the value even further. Ideally there would be no private sector at all, and just government creating value for everyone! No one has to work, and everything is free! Magic!

        1. None of us would ever have to work if the government would just give everyone money.

          1. “Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.”

      2. And more taxes. He pays lip service to this ‘in the current situation’ nonsense, but go back and read his articles from like 2004. He’s arguing in favor of basically the same things in the middle of a growth period. So if the government isn’t competing with the private sector ‘under current conditions,’ but if that’s the case, then why were you arguing for the same things at a time when the government WOULD have been competing with the private sector?

        I also think my favorite Krugman article was when he attacked the Bush tax cuts in 2003-2004 and said ‘only X number of jobs were created, so this cost us $100,000 a job!’ Now he’s arguing that we should spend like another 1.5 trillion dollars on stimulus, even though the number of jobs created from that would definitely be more than $100,000 a piece.

      3. but how is it that none of Krugabe’s brain dead readers never notice that his solution to every problem is more spending

        Actually he was very concerned about debt back in 2006 or so. Something’s changed since then, but I can’t put my finger on it.

    5. So what could we do to reduce unemployment? The answer is, this is a time for above-normal government spending

      He’s also glossing over the fact that we have been doing “above normal government spending” since the supposedly one-time stimulus. That became the fucking baseline! How has someone not choked this guy out yet!

      1. The six trillion in debt accumulated over the last four years is just a figment of your imagination!

      2. I wish somebody would ask him when the last time was that called for below average government spending.

    1. Nice. Love that album, and also V?rstele P?m?ntului. I saw them at Maryland Deathfest last year, I’m going this year too. Anyone from around here going?

      2nd metal video of the day:


      1. Both albums are great. I have Virstele Pamintului on vinyl and it’s pretty freaking amazing (just received OM on vinyl too, but haven’t heard it yet).

        Not sold on the Ukranian band you posted. Sounds like a variant on gimmicky Viking Metal on a first listen.

  46. this is a time for above-normal government spending

    Now here’s a guy who could croak without anyone noticing. Every day, you just put up one of his old columns, with a new date stamp, and you’re good to go.

  47. reduce the amount of time prisoners spend on death row.

    Quick! Let’s fry ’em before The Innocence Project can git ahold of ’em!

    1. Let’s have a defense which has enough money and enough competence to research the cases *before* trial, rather than letting the defendant get a half-ass representation at trial so that his valid defenses are only discovered after he’s been convicted.

      1. Is there a private charity which does this? And if not, why not?

  48. Obama’s press conference: He speaks so slowly that you end up forgetting what question was asked.

    1. I’m sure that’ *totally* unintentional, an not in the least meant to distract the audience from embarrassing unanswered questions.

  49. World Wide Web turns 20 today

    I remember getting an Internet dial-up connection in fall 1995. Prodigy, I believe it was. For someone who cut his teeth on local BBSes, it was pretty damn exciting.

    1. I built my first web site (on AOL LOL), for the organization I was working for, in about 1996. Seems like just yesterday!

    2. man, I remember the early days as a young teen. Exciting. and if your page did not have dozens of animated gifs, it sucked!

      1. if your page did not have dozens of animated gifs, it sucked!


        God, I hated the virtual vomit that was so prevalent in the early days of the interwebs.

  50. George Zimmerman trial is underway in Seminole County, FL. From the few parts I’ve seen so far, the prosecution really is grasping at straws. They even had the defense attorney on the stand regarding some off the cuff statement he made about the recorded audio his office received as evidence.

    1. I am not watching it. But as a former prosecutor, I can’t imagine any day in which I call the defense attorney to the stand during the case in chief as being a good day. You have the burden proof and you can only command so much of the jury’s attention.

    2. Given that they have absolutely no case whatsoever, this shouldn’t take very long at all.

  51. Clergy excluded from scene at Boston bombings:

    “Close to the bombing site are Trinity Episcopal Church, Old South Church and St. Clement Eucharistic Shrine, all on Boylston Street. When the priests at St. Clement’s, three blocks away, heard the explosions, they gathered sacramental oils and hurried to the scene in hopes of anointing the injured and, if necessary, administering last rites, the final of seven Catholic sacraments. But the priests, who belong to the order Oblates of the Virgin Mary, weren’t allowed at the scene.

    “The Rev. John Wykes, director of the St. Francis Chapel at Boston’s soaring Prudential Center, and the Rev. Tom Carzon, rector of Our Lady of Grace Seminary, were among the priests who were turned away right after the bombings. It was jarring for Father Wykes, who, as a hospital chaplain in Illinois a decade ago, was never denied access to crime or accident scenes….

    “…it is a poignant irony that Martin Richard, the 8-year-old boy who died on Boylston Street, was a Catholic who had received his first Communion just last year. As Martin lay dying, priests were only yards away, beyond the police tape, unable to reach him to administer last rites…”

    The article says that imposters could disguise themselves as priests to get access to the scene. Because getting a fake priest outfit is so much easier than getting a fake cop or fireman outfit.


    1. And the word you’re looking for, Ms. Morrisette, isn’t “irony,” it’s “outrage”

    2. But what do you want to bet they would let anyone in who claimed to be “grief counselor”. Fuck the BPD.

  52. Cato chairman provides a “libertarian case” (curiously devoid of libertarianism but using lots of words like “reasonable” and “common sense”) for Dems’ gun control bill in the NYT. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04…..html?_r=1&

    Perfect IRL example of the D.C. cocktail party thesis, anyone?

    1. +1 Harvey Wallbanger.

    2. If there is one good thing about the latest gun control bender, we now know beyond doubt Cato is as a worthless as tits on a bore and never to be trusted again.

      1. What do you expect? It’s overrun with Objectivists now.

        They are fair weather allies to freedom, at best.

        1. I didn’t know that. But I hope they enjoy their new found friends on the left. Every person I know on the Right is getting increasingly militant about gun control and viewing it as a litmus test issue. I have friends I have known for 20+ years who never in the past have shown any interest in guns or the 2nd Amendment who are now taking up shooting. Anecdotal I know. But I don’t think I am alone in that perception.

          1. But I don’t think I am alone in that perception.

            You certainly aren’t. Just this past weekend, I took a whole group of my family and friends out to our range and taught them about guns. Most of them were indifferent to guns previously. 2 of them went out an immediately bought a gun for the first time.

            I have to thank the anti-gunners (just a little) for forcing this issue into the public mind. I’ve always been a very outspoken gun advocate, and people I know are starting to come to me for factual information. I had a liberal friend of mine, who has been in the “guns are scary” camp her entire life come to me. Her exact words were, “I’ve always been told that guns are bad. But you and (wife) are really smart people, and you guys love guns, so I must be missing something”

      2. Tits on a bore can save the day. Tits on a boar are worthless.

      3. Not to mention the fact that they hired that crony capitalist shitbag Vaclav Klaus.

    3. Gun-rights advocates should use this interval to refine their priorities and support this measure, with a few modest changes. If they don’t, they will be opening themselves to accusations from President Obama and others that they are merely obstructionists, zealots who will not agree to common-sense gun legislation.

      Oh noes! Will he call us bad names? Maybe *shudder* write a strongly worded letter?

      Hold me, I’m scared.

    4. Give this a few weeks or months, and if you search for all instances of the phrase “even the libertarian Cato Institute” you’ll crash the server.

      1. Fuck that shit. This year’s CATO donation is going to IJ.

        1. My point ha to do with the gun-control people probably exploiting the heck out of this.

  53. The Florida Senate has sent Gov. Rick Scott a set of reforms that aim to reduce the amount of time prisoners spend on death row.

    The state murdering people quicker isn’t what I would label a “reform”.

  54. People can have their different opinions on the subject matter and I believe that you have written your opinions down thoroughly.

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