Students in Iceland Create "Incest Spoiler" Smartphone App



Want to make sure you're not related to your hot date? Don't worry, there's an app for that.

In a country with a population of a little over 321,000 that is not known for its diversity it is not outside the realm of possibility that Icelanders could end up accidentally dating a cousin. Thankfully, three students from Iceland have developed a contest-winning Android app that alerts you if you and your potential partner share a grandparent.

The "Incest Spoiler" app has been downloaded over 3,600 times. 

From UPI:

REYKJAVíK, Iceland, April 22 (UPI) — Three University of Iceland students said the smartphone app they designed is meant to prevent people from accidentally dating their cousins.

Arnar Aoalsteinsson, Alexander Helgason and Hakon Bjornsson, seniors at the Reykjavík school, designed the app for the Android platform as part of a contest sponsored by the tenders of the Islendingabok database, a national record of Icelandic family trees stretching back to the middle ages, NBC News reported Monday.

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  1. Okay, this definitely was up here in the past 2 weeks. And I think it might have had alt-text, too.

    1. Ah, it was in a PM Links comment, so I guess I was technically correct that it had alt-text.

  2. Is there a reverse of this app for Kentuckyuns?

    1. Yes, it’s called eHarmony. How do you think NutraSweet met his sister-wife?

      Wait, that doesn’t make any sense.

      1. Wouldn’t that be Hee-Hawmony?

        1. +1 internet.

    2. It’s actually an app that alerts you when you are within 15 feet of an ovulating blood relative. When you get within 5 feet, it starts playing Barry White.

    3. “I was married to a widow, who was pretty as can be.
      This widow, had a grown-up daughter,
      Who had hair of red.
      My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed.
      This made my dad my son-in-law,
      And really changed my life.
      Now my daughter was my mother,
      Cause she was my father’s wife.
      And to complicate the matter,
      Even though it brought me joy,
      I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.
      My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad,
      And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad.
      For, if-if he were my uncle, then that also made him brother.
      Of the widow’s grown up daughter, who was of course, my stepmother.
      Uh huh.
      Father’s wife then had a son who kept them on the run,
      And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter’s son.
      My wife is now my mother’s mother, and it makes me blue.
      Because although she is my wife, she’s my grandmother too.
      Now, if my wife is my grandmother, I am her grandchild, yeah.
      And every time I think of it, heh! Nearly drives me wild.
      Cause now I have become, the strangest case you ever saw,
      As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpaw.
      Oh I’m my own grandpaw.
      I’m my own grandpaw.
      It sounds funny I know, but it really is so,
      Oh I’m my own grandpaw.
      I’m my own grandpaw.
      I’m my own grandpaw.
      Talk about incest!
      It sounds funny I know, but it really is so,
      I’m my own grandpaw.”

  3. Where inbred is more than a cool thing to put in a sandwich.

  4. Next up: an app to make sure you don’t accidentally fuck Byork.

    1. Is there another to make sure you do fuck Bjork?

      1. “Don’t stick it in crazy.”

          1. Where are all these non-crazy women I keep hearing about?

            1. Married?

              1. What? Have you ever met a married woman?

                1. Not all rectangles are squares but all squares are rectangles Warty. You can assume that all non-crazy is married without implying that all marrieds are non-crazy. I’ve seen gotcha pregnancies in action.

              2. Not to me they’re not. I should just shut up now.

                1. Everyone is crazy; it’s about finding a good fit for your crazy

                  1. finding a good fit for your crazy

                    The anus?

                    1. Unless you’re AD. Then that’s too gross.

                    2. I don’t see what’s so gross about the anus. Most people deal with their own on a daily basis (or the people around them wish that they had.)

  5. The Amish have much the same problem – and yes, even the Amish who do not use automobiles often now use cell phones (strictly for business, of course!). Perhaps some teenage Amish should download this app.

    1. So cell phones are cool, but cars are right out?

      1. If you ever made out with your cousin in the back of a hay wagon you would never miss your car.

      2. It’s not about using cell phones, but about modern technology disrupting a contemplative life. They turn them off when they are done making a call.

        1. I think before cell phones a lot of them had pay phones installed somewhere near their houses for when they needed to make calls.

          1. Yup. Like little sheds on the very edge of the property.

    2. Part of what makes this work is that the Icelanders have an extensive public record genealogical database. The app is just a front end for an existing site where you can put in your information and shows the network of relationships in your ancestry. I don’t doubt the Amish have similar information, but they’d need to digitize it first.

      1. digitize your cousin? heh, heh, heh

      2. The Amish also have family names unlike Icelanders, which make it a little easier to identify relatives.

        1. It’s gotta be hard to keep track of relatives when you are simply named “your name + son of dad’s name”.

  6. Sure, everyone knows about incest, but did you know that Icelanders really, really hate bicycles?

    1. He got all roidy on it when it didn’t take him to Funky Town.

  7. In a small place like Iceland with a tiny population, you would think you would recognize your own second cousins. I’m surprised it’s such a problem that they need an app for it. Seriously, are Icelanders so asocial they can’t even recognize their own kin?

    1. It’s a tiny population that has generations of isolation and extremely complicated family lineages, they have to be extremely careful to maintain genetic robustness.

    2. As pointed out, due to old naming conventions, everyone has a first name and their last name is simply “son/daughter of a parents first name”. Making it kind of hard to tell who you might be related to after a couple generations of large families or not keeping track. That’s why there is a database.

  8. Also, the vast majority of Icelanders have no surname. Almost all of them go by given name plus patronymic, so your siblings have the same last name as you but your parents have different last names. Without surnames as a clue, it’s easier to forget family connections. Seems like second cousins would be especially problematic, since even knowing each other’s parent’s patronymics may not help.

    1. To clarify, Adam’s son is Bob Adamson, whose son is Charlie Bobson, whose son is Dan Charlieson, etc. Icelanders use national ID numbers as unique identifiers, if needed for paperwork.

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